Klingon Beer

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Posted by Soulskill on Tuesday March 25, 2014 @09:45AM from the don't-drink-and-warp-drive dept.

An anonymous reader writes: "We may not have Saurian Brandy or Romulan Ale, but we'll soon have Klingon Beer. Tin Man Brewing Company in Evansville, Indiana has gotten the OK from CBS to create 'Klingon Warnog,' a Dunkelweizen with 'a modern aroma [of] predominantly mild banana and clove.' It will have an ABV of 5.5%. The Klingon beer will apparently join Vulcan Ale in the Federation of Beer. I wonder what their Prime Directive is."

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Klingon Beer by smittyoneeach · 2014-03-25 09:47 · Score: 2

Klingon beer
Gutteral suds
Your blade will steer
Past Romulan duds
Burma Shave

--
Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
Mild banana and clove ? - seriously ? by burni2 · 2014-03-25 09:51 · Score: 2

I expect something more like the taste of smoked roasted wild boar and a fine note of decaying fish (SÃ¼rstrÃming) for the fine taste!
1. Re:Mild banana and clove ? - seriously ? by DogSqueeze · 2014-03-25 14:38 · Score: 2
  
  A strong hint of dried plums would also seem appropriate for a warriors beer :)
2. Re:Mild banana and clove ? - seriously ? by Shatrat · 2014-03-26 02:09 · Score: 2
  
  Have to reply to myself. I just noticed the summary says the beer is a Dunkelweizen "Dark Wheat". It's actually a Roggenbier, "Rye Beer".
  
  --
  09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
only 5.5%!?! by xfade551 · 2014-03-25 09:52 · Score: 5, Insightful

Seriously, they are calling this a "Klingon" beer and it's only 5.5% ABV. This should be in the 9%-10% range at least! And an aroma of cloves and banana!?! Give me a break! It should have a bitter hoppy flavor, maybe with a bit of metallic taste to be reminiscent of freshly spilled blood!
1. Re:only 5.5%!?! by QilessQi · 2014-03-25 10:36 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Come on, GP was being funny. No need to go full Comic Book Guy on him.
  
  --
  Koans and fables for the software engineer
2. Re:only 5.5%!?! by lister+king+of+smeg · 2014-03-25 11:00 · Score: 4, Informative
  
  And you know Klingon alcohol tolerance..how?
  Why do you think toughness equates to alcohol tolerance? oh, right, you have a small mind.
  Considering Warnog has a flavor so complex it can't be replicated perfectly, AND Klingon have heightened sense compared to humans, it is likely to have less alcohol.
  accept in the ds9 episode where O'Brien, Worf, Sisko, and Odo, infiltrat a Klingon ceremony to catch a changing it is mentioned that O'Brian Sisko and Odo would of died of alcohol poisoning if not for an injection they were given to neutralize the alcohol. Also in TNG there is an episode where Worf replicates a Klingon beverage for some refugees they are rescuing after they complain about the federation alcohol being to weak, and it is shown to be much stronger. So the Klingons can metabolize higher amounts of alcohol and thus probably drink more consternated beverages.
  
  --
  ---Saying gnome 3 is better than windows 8 not so much a compliment as it is damning with light praise.
3. Re:only 5.5%!?! by Nethemas+the+Great · 2014-03-25 11:19 · Score: 2
  
  It seems reasonable to infer from the intoxicating effects of Bloodwine which is guzzled not sipped from dainty thimbles, that Warnog should be far from lacking in potency and certainly well in excess of 10%. It also dispels your assertion of Klingons being lightweights. I'd argue the flavor choice probably doesn't make much sense either, but I really don't have any canonical references to support that one way or the other.
  
  --
  Two of my imaginary friends reproduced once ... with negative results.
4. Re:only 5.5%!?! by Smauler · 2014-03-25 12:02 · Score: 2
  
  No one except for you has spoken negatively about anyone. You equated alcohol to toughness, no one else. You're the one lacking in character.
  Get off your high horse, and stop complaining about a culture you obviously have no idea about.
5. Re:only 5.5%!?! by Chris+Mattern · 2014-03-25 13:22 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  You mean the one where the Klingons looked like sad rejects from the late Beatnik period?
  Personally, I always liked Voltaire's description:
  What is with the Klingons? Remember in the day
  They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame.
Klingon Beer Haiku by Moblaster · 2014-03-25 09:55 · Score: 4, Informative

Five point five percent?
This not Klingon beer, humans.
This dilute breast milk.
1. Re:Klingon Beer Haiku by smittyoneeach · 2014-03-25 10:03 · Score: 2
  
  Had Monty Python
  Been Klingon he might have said
  Effing near water
  
  --
  Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
2. Re:Klingon Beer Haiku by kruach+aum · 2014-03-25 10:05 · Score: 2
  
  And much like revenge
  Klingon beer is best served cold
  even by humans
Prune Juice, a warrior's drink by f()rK()_Bomb · 2014-03-25 09:59 · Score: 4, Insightful

Surely it should taste of prune's, like a true warrior's drink.

--
"The space elevator will be built about 50 years after everyone stops laughing." - Arthur C. Clarke ~1980
1. Re:Prune Juice, a warrior's drink by Anubis+IV · 2014-03-25 10:26 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Taste of prune's what, exactly? There's a word missing in your sentence.
  "Prune's" is how the Klingons spell "prunes". They add a glottal stop before the "s" so that they can linger on the word for longer.
  *ducks his head before the Treksters come out of the woodwork to correct him on the inaccuracies that he's intentionally piling on at this point*
Re:the prime directive by burni2 · 2014-03-25 10:00 · Score: 2

Please state your country, if it's Netherlands your inner organs will rott of Heiniken, if your from Denmark you will transcend into the taste of bad water (Tuborg).
If you are from Belgium, you should choke on Juliper(*) and get a headache from the heavy drop of Duvel.
If you are from Germany your face should implode by the bitter taste of Bitburger, you will piss KÃlsch like an Ebolanian excremates blood.
And thou shall you drown in the same same piss shit Jever, Bitburger, Astra, Karlsquell, Becks, Heiniken, Tuborg ..
Brewed for the masses out of the designer asses!
Kaplach!
(*) It's also sometimes called "Manekin's Piss"
Star Trek Experience and Quark's Bar by BenJeremy · 2014-03-25 10:06 · Score: 3, Interesting

They used to have Romulan Ale and Klingon Blood wine, among other things.
Sad that a Michael Jackson show replaced the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton in Las Vegas. There had been talks of reviving it Downtown, but I guess that never materialized.
prime directive? by sootman · 2014-03-25 12:43 · Score: 2

> I wonder what their Prime Directive is.
To get laid.
Fun fact: it won't work.

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Re:It's Heineken, you insensitive clod by Redmancometh · 2014-03-25 19:27 · Score: 2

"perfectly drinkable beers unlike the USA that has a choice between Bud light and Coors"
If you aren't familiar with our culture let me enlighten you a little bit:
We do have American brewed beers, but those are just for guests. However, we, probably more than any country, sell all the beer.
We have entire warehouse-sized stores that stock nothing but different varieties of beer. There is probably one in every county. Then we have liquor stores which also (in many places) carry a large variety of beer..3 on every corner.
Going to Europe I was amazed at how good the beer is, but also amazed at just how horrible the selection was in any given country. Europe (anywhere but Germany) talking down to the US about beer is laughable.