The Physics of Hot Pockets

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Posted by samzenpus on Thursday May 15, 2014 @05:10PM from the when-you-absolutely-have-to-eat dept.

StartsWithABang (3485481) writes "You've all had the experience: you're all excited to microwave your favorite snack. So you pull it out of the freezer, you throw it in, and you let it rip. A minute or two later, you pull it out, and there it is: boiling on the outside, frozen in the middle. Finally, a physicist answers the eternal question: why do microwaved foods remain frozen on the inside when they reach scalding temperatures on the outskirts? Starts With A Bang explains the whole phenomenon. Bonus for the crisping sleeve explanation!"

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Microwave trays by Travis+Mansbridge · 2014-05-15 17:19 · Score: 5, Informative

Also those with rotating microwave trays (because microwaves tend to heat unevenly) ought to be aware that anything at the center of the tray will not get the benefit of rotation and heat at the same rate the entire time. To roll around in a (relatively) even distribution, none of your food should sit in the center of the tray.
1. Re:Microwave trays by andreas.hummelbrunne · 2014-05-15 19:14 · Score: 1
  
  May I see a picture or video of that?
2. Re:Microwave trays by Anonymous Coward · 2014-05-15 22:07 · Score: 5, Interesting
  
  Of course there are microwaves made with competent stirrers and well-placed feeds. Panasonic makes microwave ovens that feature both (the feed is at the bottom of the cavity), so no rotation is necessary. They also use variable fast pulse width modulation to drive the magnetron, resulting in a smooth output power, thus avoiding another common contribution made by on-off duty cycles to burnt skin / frozen middle problems especially at lower power settings. (Triac controlled magnetrons can only go on and off; most PWM microwave ovens not driven by an inverter supply do a cycle on the order of 30 seconds.) There is work on continuous phase shifting, which will avoid heating the same islands in food even in pessimal cases (like poorly conducting food put in the centre of a rotating tray). Finally, there is still substantial research going into probes inserted into food so as to provide feedback to the driver logic (dynamically or for capture into programs which take food type mass as variables) and whether non-invasive probes can provide useful dynamic feedback every time the oven is in use.
  The main problem is that the cheapest microwave ovens are just good enough to follow recipes that call for some number of seconds on the high setting while being unreliable at other settings, and the food industry targets its instructions accordingly. This is a global problem, not unique to the USA. However, as large-cavity combination microwave/grill/convection ovens become more popular in densely populated areas (why waste space having two or three ovens? why not coat your microwave with pyrolytic surfaces that you clean by simply baking or roasting something? why not cook with microwaves and brown with the grill simultaneously?) this is likely to change faster than patents expire, especially as several key manufacturers (Panasonic, GE) will not be cannibalizing conventional oven products. The critical path and most visible extra cost to the first time buyer is mainly in the design of trays and dishes which work well under arbitrary conditions in a combo oven, and avoiding damage when someone uses the wrong tray, dish or tool for a given programme.
3. Re:Microwave trays by NotDrWho · 2014-05-16 00:40 · Score: 1
  
  Toaster ovens also generate a lot of waste heat. I don't need a little space heater in my kitchen in the summer--taking FOREVER to heat my goddamned Hot Pocket!
  
  --
  SJW's don't eliminate discrimination. They just expropriate it for themselves.
4. Re:Microwave trays by zmaragdus · 2014-05-16 01:00 · Score: 1
  
  Why not do both at the same time? Power draw. A microwave can take over half the available load on a standard household circuit. Most are wired for 15 amps before the breaker starts tripping. Heating elements are just as power-hungry, which is why you typically see electric stoves on a dedicated 240V, 20A circuit. I would guess most houses do not have the wiring to support this.
  
  --
  (((dB)))
5. Re:Microwave trays by 31415926535897 · 2014-05-16 01:46 · Score: 1
  
  You may be the foremost microwave geek (I mean that in a good way)!
  Since you seem to have given it substantial thought, what would you say are the best standalone and best over-the-range microwaves on the market?
  I'll be interested to see if your theory about the combo devices come to pass--I have a hard time seeing it working out, probably because of the trays and dishes. Popular cooking trays for conventional ovens are metallic (e.g. cookie sheets), which would be a catastrophic to have in your combo oven if you accidentally turned the microwave on. You wouldn't want to melt your kid's plastic plate by throwing it in the microwave but accidentally turning the grill on to 500.
6. Re:Microwave trays by mythosaz · 2014-05-16 02:56 · Score: 1
  
  Anyone who can support a microwave and an oven now, can support a ovenmicrowave in the future, although it might need a two-plug dongle.
7. Re:Microwave trays by tlhIngan · 2014-05-16 04:15 · Score: 1
  
  Why not do both at the same time? Power draw. A microwave can take over half the available load on a standard household circuit. Most are wired for 15 amps before the breaker starts tripping. Heating elements are just as power-hungry, which is why you typically see electric stoves on a dedicated 240V, 20A circuit. I would guess most houses do not have the wiring to support this.
  Modern houses to modern code actually specify 20A per circuit to the kitchen, with each plug being on their own circuit.
  Why? Because there's always going to be the problem of the kettle and the toaster going at the same time, so if they're on different plugs it means one doesn't trip the other. It also means you can have a 20A microwave plug.
  And if you're doing intelligent power draw, you can power the magnetron during the time when the heating element is off...
8. Re:Microwave trays by dissy · 2014-05-16 04:23 · Score: 2
  
  Finally, there is still substantial research going into probes inserted into food so as to provide feedback to the driver logic (dynamically or for capture into programs which take food type mass as variables) and whether non-invasive probes can provide useful dynamic feedback every time the oven is in use.
  I myself just recently discovered the existence of non-invasive probing (a feature included in a microwave just purchased by a friend last month), and while very impressed with the concept, was less so with the outcome.
  I'm not sure if there are different non-invasive methods on the market, but this particular model somehow ended up using the water vapor released during microwaving to obtain its feedback.
  In cases where it couldn't read anything (seemingly for foods that don't release much vapor) it wouldn't kick in, but when it did the foods still seemed to be more crisped on the outside while colder on the inside.
  Certainly an improvement over cheap-o walmart microwaves on sale these days, but I guess I'm spoiled.
  My microwave is a hand-me-down from my parents, who purchased it within the first year I was born.
  It is a 35 year old GE brand, sporting a VFD, a "new solid state!" tag line on the front panel, and inside is a 1/4th inch headphone jack for use with a metal probe.
  I've only ever used the probe once for cooking a turkey, more as an experiment as I usually use the oven for that and prefer including stuffing - but was amazed how even from outside-in the meat ended up cooked.
  I assumed such research already took place long ago in-so-far as wired probes were concerned, but your comment makes me wonder if a newer model microwave still using a wired probe would have substantial improvements...
  I realize the reliability will be next to crap, but such is most all products sold these days sadly :/
  I'm not exactly "seriously shopping" for a new microwave, but the realist in me knows my current one likely won't last as long as I do (I hope anyway!), and as friends replace their current units so frequently I'm often reminded I'll eventually have to deal with and be in that situation myself too.
9. Re:Microwave trays by jasonataylor · 2014-05-16 05:04 · Score: 3, Interesting
  
  Anonymous Coward wrote,
  
  Of course there are microwaves made with competent stirrers and well-placed feeds. ... The main problem is that the cheapest microwave ovens are just good enough to follow recipes that call for some number of seconds on the high setting while being unreliable at other settings, and the food industry targets its instructions accordingly. This is a global problem, not unique to the USA.
  I think your comment is misleading, for it incorrectly implies that the main problem is cheap microwave ovens and directions to "the masses" about how to use them on food packages. In my opinion, this is wrong for the following reasons.
  Firstly, the stirrer technology is you refer to is just a some rotating metal near the magnetron. It is more than 20 years old. By and large, it sucks. That's why it has been replaced by the rotating carousel, which is far superior and why you cannot, actually, buy it easily today in a new microwave-capable oven unless rotation is ruled out for a different reason. However, field unevenness in no way is the main cause of the problems discussed in the article, which is not one-sided heating, as can be the case in non-rotating ovens, but that heating is concentrated in already defrosted areas and food edges/corners.
  In other words, even with a perfect EM radiative bath the edges and corners of a hotpocket will still burn or be overcooked if heated rapidly enough while the center is still frozen. That's why even if you buy the most expensive microwave oven on the planet, it will still have this same problem of producing food that is overcooked on the edges and the corners, which experience the highest EM radiation. The cause is not any unevenness of EM modes in an unloaded oven cavity. Rather, it is the shielding effect of food and the relatively small field skin depths to food size ratios.
  Your comment about pyrolytic surfaces is interesting, but also misleading, for it implies that convection microwave ovens solve the problems discussed in the blog post. The problem is that microwave ovens use steam cooling of the corners, which boil and splatter food all over the oven as the steam turns things like beans into tiny bombs. Even with simultaneously convective and microwave ovens, of which I own one, one still has a frozen center burnt corner issue, since convective heating is even worse at edge heating. The reason is of course that the convective oven relies upon thermal conduction, which is entirely skin heating, although in truth one gets some infrared radiation which can penetrate a little bit.
  You asked,
  
  why not cook with microwaves and brown with the grill simultaneously?
  Great question. Ceramic would work for that, but it is expensive. Traditional stainless steel grills are conductive, so they would reflect the EM radiation back into the magnetron, which will shorten it's life. So here is where your comment is spot on; it is indeed a cost and consumer ignorance issue, although grills have other issue I won't go into here. Regardless, dual mode ovens do not fully fix the underlying issue anyway, which, again, is over the overheating of food portion edges and corners.
  The primary reason one probably sees less burning in dual-mode ovens may come as a surprise. This just my hunch, but, in my opinion, it is primarily because dual-mode microwave/convection ovens tend to have a larger cavity. The FCC regulates how much leakage can occur in a microwave oven, and there is more cavity area. So larger ovens have to have less maximum magnetron power, due to the FCC. Therefore, dual mode ovens tend to use less magnetron power, which gives more time for conductive heating to defrost the food centers. Another alternative reason has to due with the amperage limitations of most nema (or other) sockets. If there is power going to a heating coil, that's less power for the magnetron. Same effect, however; longer time to cook = more time to thaw cent
  
  --
  jason.arthur.taylor at gmail dot com;240-471-5613. I respond to all emails, if only with "ok." If I did't respond, I did
10. Re:Microwave trays by Anonymous Coward · 2014-05-16 06:13 · Score: 1
  
  Only if the outlets are on separate circuits...
11. Re:Microwave trays by zmaragdus · 2014-05-16 12:57 · Score: 1
  
  Modern, yes, but most places I go "modern" is the exception, not the rule. I'd give my current house aa 50-50 chance of being built in the 20th century (vs the 19th...)
  
  --
  (((dB)))
12. Re:Microwave trays by antdude · 2014-05-16 15:22 · Score: 1
  
  Som what's the best way to heat everything?
  
  --
  Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
13. Re:Microwave trays by mythosaz · 2014-05-19 04:23 · Score: 1
  
  If they're not, how do they support them now that they can't in the future?
14. Re:Microwave trays by FreedomFirstThenPeac · 2014-05-20 01:48 · Score: 1
  
  I find that if I fling the whole fershlinginger microwave across the room BEFORE I remove the unevenly heated food it works much better than if I wait till I bit into the scalding icy treat. After removing the food just does not work as well.
  
  --
  "There is no god but allah" - well, they got it half right.
Somebody needs to buy... by Bin_jammin · 2014-05-15 17:20 · Score: 4, Interesting

a microwave with more than 300 watts of power. I've never had the issue of hot outside/cold inside, my problems have always been of the hot outside/nuclear inferno/solar coronal mass ejection on the inside variety, regardless of where I've microwaved them. I don't even follow the instructions on the package very closely, just pull it out of the wrapper, put it in the sleeve, toss it in, slap the door shut, 3 or so minutes, and out comes an external breading hot to the touch with napalm in the center. Maybe there are just a lot of broken microwaves, or even more likely, people that don't know how to use them properly?
1. Re: Somebody needs to buy... by KramberryKoncerto · 2014-05-15 17:58 · Score: 1
  
  Not for defrost...
2. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by Jmc23 · 2014-05-15 17:59 · Score: 1
  
  Perhaps YOU need to buy a less powerful microwave and/or read the instructions.
  
  --
  Don't complain about syntax, grammar, or spelling. There is no.hell like input on android.
3. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by aevan · 2014-05-15 19:26 · Score: 1
  
  My place reeked for a week as I went through a few dozen backs of microwave popcorn, trying to find the balance of power and time that didn't leave either a bag of charcoal, or a bag of kernals. We don't even pretend that popcorn button on it is anything more than a cruel joke. [Ended up being 60% for 1m50].
  
  Oven instruction? Sure. Stove-top instructions? Maybe. Microwave instructions? Put in the same category as "may have been in the same building as a peanut" disclaimers: there on the off chance that it might be important to that one in a hundred people it applies to. Every one else use (learn?) your own discretion.
4. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by war4peace · 2014-05-15 20:08 · Score: 4, Informative
  
  How to microwave popcorn:
  Put the bag in, turn microwave on. When number of pops/second goes down to 1, stop, pull bag out, enjoy results.
  
  --
  ...gis sdrawkcab (usually not responding to ACs; don't bother posting as AC)
5. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by AK+Marc · 2014-05-15 20:50 · Score: 1
  
  I've had a microwave where that would get you 3-4 tbsp (about 1/4 to 1/2 the bag) unpopped, and the popped parts black, charred and inedible. For my current microwave, that works.
  
  --
  Learn to love Alaska
6. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by TapeCutter · 2014-05-15 21:01 · Score: 3, Interesting
  
  Hmmm, my MW is 1100 watts. For frozen meat pies (Australia's national dish), heat for 1min, stand for 5min, heat for 1min, stand for 2min, it comes out like a warm pie from the bakery. However if I heat for 2min straight, the outside is hot, the centre is frozen, and the pastry has turned into something that would be suitable for re-treading tyres. Thermal inertia explains the frozen centre, but I'm neither a cook or chemist so I have no idea why the pastry turns to rubber?
  
  --
  And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
7. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by L4t3r4lu5 · 2014-05-15 22:58 · Score: 1
  
  Ever seen a microwave oven with the words "CHAOS defrost" written on it?
  
  Your microwave outputs at a standard rate; A percentage of the full 1.1KW output for the time you have specified. Microwaves work by exciting water to boiling point extremely quickly, and in that absorbing the microwave energy. You put your pie in for two minutes straight and the outside of the food will be utterly ruined, having absorbed the entire X/1100 you threw at it. Leaving the pie to cool in between allows the food around the bit that's just heated to reach equilibrium; It heats up while the microwave isn't on, just by drawing away (sorry, physics types) the energy from the water that was just heated.
  
  CHAOS defrost gets around this problem by switching the output of the microwave during the cycle, down to allow the outside to cool a little, then back up to keep the process continuing.
  
  The pastry turns to rubber because it's been boiled dry by the microwave; You've dumped the whole of the cooking cycle into the very outside of the pie in a very short time. Leaving it to cool for 5 minutes allows that heat to warm the middle, getting you a better result.
  
  --
  Finally had enough. Come see us over at https://soylentnews.org/
8. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by NotDrWho · 2014-05-16 00:49 · Score: 1
  
  I've found that with microwave cooking, the implied (but all-too-often unwritten) instruction is to let the food sit for a while before you actually try to eat it. With two Hot Pockets, you cook them for 3 min 30 sec. Then (not mentioned in the instructions), you need to let them sit for about 10-15 minutes. If you were foolish enough to try to eat them right out of the oven, your mouth and throat would probably be incinerated into a fine ashy substance.
  I'm not sure why so few microwave instructions don't mention letting the food sit after being cooked. Maybe because they're afraid it would scare away customers if they knew they couldn't have their Hot Pockets RIGHT GODDAMNED NOW! Or maybe they want to keep up that "Ready to eat in just 2 minutes!" fiction on the box. But then again, I also never figured out why McDonalds used to feel the need to give you a cup of coffee that was BOILING hot (until their infamous lawsuit).
  
  --
  SJW's don't eliminate discrimination. They just expropriate it for themselves.
9. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by NotDrWho · 2014-05-16 00:55 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Fuck it. Too much work. I'll just eat this tube of cake frosting instead.
  
  --
  SJW's don't eliminate discrimination. They just expropriate it for themselves.
10. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by NotDrWho · 2014-05-16 01:00 · Score: 1
  
  You can get a similar effect by adjusting the "power level" on the microwave. Usually this doesn't actually lower the power level, it just cuts it on and off a percentage of the time. For example, on my microwave power level "10" is full force (High). Power level 5 (50%) will cook on high for a 30 seconds, then switch off entirely for the next 30 seconds, then back on again for 30 seconds, etc.
  
  --
  SJW's don't eliminate discrimination. They just expropriate it for themselves.
11. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by omnichad · 2014-05-16 01:46 · Score: 1
  
  Just underpop it every time. Not only will it not be burnt, but if you stop it early enough you also get less-dry popcorn. Cooking to the last pop takes out every bit of moisture (and you can taste the difference). If that's not enough, pop 2 bags.
12. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by omnichad · 2014-05-16 01:52 · Score: 1
  
  Not just "usually". I think it's in every case but Panasonic. I don't know of anyone else using an actual inverter to adjust the output voltage.
13. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by pr0fessor · 2014-05-16 02:11 · Score: 1
  
  My old microwave used to burn the popcorn, then it died.. I purchased a new one that does it right given you can figure out how many ounces are in the bag.
  I don't have any problem with hot pockets mostly because if I'm going to have a hotpocket at lunch I pull it out of the freezer in the morning before work and stick it in the refrigerator. It's mostly thawed out by lunch when I pop it in the microwave.
14. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by war4peace · 2014-05-16 02:15 · Score: 1
  
  Forgot to mention: always use 100% power to maximize heat spread.
  
  --
  ...gis sdrawkcab (usually not responding to ACs; don't bother posting as AC)
15. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by camperdave · 2014-05-16 02:23 · Score: 2
  
  you cook them for 3 min 30 sec
  You cook them for 3 min, 30 seconds? Try 3 minutes 33 seconds. Your finger is already on the 3 key. Why waste the seek time needed to bring it to the 0 key? Or try a 3:21 swipe. 3 min, 30 seconds - Who's got that kind of time?
  
  Also, do not be afraid to explore the posibilities of 77, 88, or 99 second cook times.
  
  --
  When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
16. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by Greyfox · 2014-05-16 02:27 · Score: 2
  
  You gotta let those fuckers cool off for a couple of minutes, until the gooey center of liquid hot magma cools down. Third degree tongue burns are no fun!
  
  --
  I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
17. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by sumdumass · 2014-05-16 02:39 · Score: 1
  
  I was wondering if you knew that you didn't even need to get the microwave popcorn. Just get regular popcorn and put some in a brown paper sack (the lunch sacks work well) and follow the pop until a few kernels per second rule.
  You can even flavor it in the bag. I like adding a table spoon of diced green chilis from a can, a sprinkly of salt and cyanne pepper dust, and a little butter before poping.
18. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by Richy_T · 2014-05-16 02:50 · Score: 1
  
  But the 0 button may be on the way to the "Start" button, requiring only a passing swipe to register.
19. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by Rockoon · 2014-05-16 02:55 · Score: 1
  
  My method: minute-plus, minute-plus, minute-plus
  Your method: 3, 3, 3, start
  
  3 entries vs 4
  
  --
  "His name was James Damore."
20. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by jasonataylor · 2014-05-16 03:05 · Score: 1
  
  smooth wombat wrote:
  
  "..or pretend their life was so important and announce it to the world."
  Smooth wombat, I disagree. IMO, our time really is important! That's why we use the microwave oven instead of a conventional oven. I am the first to complain about what I call "the MTV" generation of short attention spans, but please don't blame the user on this real problem, for it is this sort of attitude that only inhibits development real solutions, be it those discussed at http://angel.co/warmwave-technologies or, more generally, any solution to any problem, issue, or mere tech nuisance we currently face.
  
  --
  jason.arthur.taylor at gmail dot com;240-471-5613. I respond to all emails, if only with "ok." If I did't respond, I did
21. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by retchdog · 2014-05-16 03:58 · Score: 2
  
  Better method that doesn't taste like shit:
  Heat a few T of coconut oil in pot (narrowish but tall works best; think along the lines of a pasta pot, not a dutch oven or saute pan) with ~3 kernels of popcorn in it. When the probe kernels start popping, add a few T of popcorn. Agitate pot gently until kernels are popped. Pour into bowl and add some salt.
  Oops, I forgot to use the microwave. Shit. I dunno, I guess you could store the popcorn in it as long as it doesn't interfere with the things a microwave is good for. I've experimented with preheating the kernels in the microwave so that they pop faster in the coconut oil, but results are inconclusive to date.
  
  --
  "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
22. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by retchdog · 2014-05-16 04:05 · Score: 1
  
  Oh, yeah, I should add a few caveats for the geniuses at slashdot.
  You'll want to either use a vented cover (vented so that the steam doesn't build up and make the popcorn soggy) or, better, hold the cover above but not flush with the pot, so that the kernels and oil stay put, but steam can escape. The latter requires a modicum of muscle tone and dexterity, so you might want to consider it an Advanced Technique.
  Also don't shake the pot so hard that you splash hot oil on yourself, and remember to hold the pot by the handle. That last one is really important.
  
  --
  "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
23. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by AthanasiusKircher · 2014-05-16 04:07 · Score: 1
  
  Thermal inertia explains the frozen centre, but I'm neither a cook or chemist so I have no idea why the pastry turns to rubber?
  I don't know what the ingredients in your specific pastry are, but generally toughness and rubber-like texture are caused by excess development of the protein (gluten and/or eggs). If the outer layer gets very hot, it drives out the water, leaving this "protein skin" to get tough. If you do this in stages, the pastry will only get mildly warm, then cool back down a little bit during the rest, and then get warmed again. If you do it like that, the moisture inside the various layers can come back to equilibrium during a rest. But if you get the pastry too hot, you'll irrevocably bind some of the protein into dried-out tougher structures (think crackly bread crust vs. middle of bread, or the difference between a soft-boiled egg and an overcooked hard-boiled one), and that will be unable to rehydrate or resume its softer texture during a rest.
24. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by chihowa · 2014-05-16 04:21 · Score: 1
  
  Speaking of saving time, I find that most everything will cook well enough in some multiple of even minutes. The "minute plus" key is the only key I ever actually use on my microwave.
  Also, for anything under 99 seconds, you can save a button press by entering seconds instead of minutes:seconds. It's obvious, but it annoys me enough to type this to see people hit 1-3-0, when 9-0 works just as well.
  
  --
  If you want a vision of the future, imagine a youtube comments section scrolling - forever.
25. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by Rastl · 2014-05-16 04:25 · Score: 1
  
  Flatten the bag. Put it in the microwave upside down so the oil coats the kernels. Take it out when popping slows down to a few but not one kernel. You'll get unburnt popcorn and more popped.
26. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by dissy · 2014-05-16 04:29 · Score: 1
  
  *snip*
  They would literally explode before the popcorn does if they couldn't run away and chimp their phone or play a game or pretend their life was so important and announce it to the world.
  You might as well ask a baby not to poop while you're holding it.
  You may have better luck asking the baby with a large cork.
  That or perhaps replacing the exploding popcorn in the microwave with the soon-to-be exploding baby.
  Just don't confuse which was which when you sit down for the movie!
27. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by operagost · 2014-05-16 04:36 · Score: 1
  
  It's easier if you get a microwave that has a steam sensor. The popcorn button actually works on those. My Sharp has one-- perfect every time with multiple size bags. Also, make sure the bottom of the microwave is actually CLEAN so your bag doesn't scorch.
  
  --
  
  Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
28. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by denzacar · 2014-05-16 05:02 · Score: 1
  
  Put the bag in, turn microwave on. Wait 3 minutes.
  Add/subtract ~10 seconds depending on the season and microwave's power rating.
  750-800 W in the summer - ~3 minutes.
  750-800 W in the winter - ~3 minutes 10 seconds.
  Also... Not every single kernel is supposed to pop. That's why you get a bag of them instead of an EXACT number of kernels.
  If you're refilling your bags with popcorn bought by a pound...
  Pour the corn in a glass or cup first, pour a little oil over it (teaspoon or so will do for ~100 grams of corn), add spices you use, cover the glass/cup with a saucer/small plate and shake it for about 10 seconds to spread the oil and spices over the kernels.
  Pour the contents of the cup/glass into the paper bag you're using, close the bag with a toothpick.
  
  --
  Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
29. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by Agent0013 · 2014-05-16 05:04 · Score: 1
  
  but it annoys me enough to type this to see people hit 1-3-0, when 9-0 works just as well.
  Of course, 8-8 would be close enough to 9-0 to work and be quicker to enter also.
  
  --
  
  -- ssoorrrryy,, dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh oonn.. -Quote found on actual fortune cookie.
30. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by Travis+Mansbridge · 2014-05-16 05:16 · Score: 1
  
  Technically speaking, paper isn't microwave safe by default (though much is certified as such so you'd be ok if it said so on the package). A lot of paper is chemically treated, and sticking it in a microwave can release these chemicals into your food (just as with plastics or Styrofoam).
31. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by denzacar · 2014-05-16 05:19 · Score: 1
  
  Maybe his microwave has a "30 seconds" button, and a rotating +/- dial instead of buttons 1 to 9?
  
  --
  Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
32. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by jasonataylor · 2014-05-16 05:43 · Score: 2
  
  Perhaps, but you could have it backwards. From http://thehealthyapron.com/2011/06/08/should-we-be-thinking-twice-about-microwave-popcorn/:
  
  Perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA), also known as C8 (a Teflon Chemical), line microwave popcorn bags and get in to your bloodstream from consuming the food inside the bag. PFCAs have been linked to cancer and other development problems in animals.
  
  --
  jason.arthur.taylor at gmail dot com;240-471-5613. I respond to all emails, if only with "ok." If I did't respond, I did
33. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by darniil · 2014-05-16 05:52 · Score: 1
  
  When I used to work in a place with a fridge and microwave in our NOC, I would always hold the Hot Pockets in front of the cooling vents of the massive A/C units in our NOC. A good 45 seconds in front of those vents was usually sufficient. (Not to mention that it amused me greatly to use a NOC A/C to cool my lunch.)
34. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by jasonataylor · 2014-05-16 05:58 · Score: 1
  
  ...the pastry has turned into something that would be suitable for re-treading tyres. ... I have no idea why the pastry turns to rubber?
  When overmicrowaved past a minute, steam release in the crust is an important cooling mechanism. Water is a good solvent. Therefore, most anything that has water/moisture in it, including the crust, will get harder, stronger, and tougher when it dries. The purpose of the instructions is to allow the edges of the center enough time to thaw out and start heating without drying the crust totally out. Hope that helps explain it.
  
  --
  jason.arthur.taylor at gmail dot com;240-471-5613. I respond to all emails, if only with "ok." If I did't respond, I did
35. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by cusco · 2014-05-16 06:04 · Score: 1
  
  An older thick-walled pot works better than the newer thin-walled ones too. Cast iron is best, cast aluminum next.
  A word from the *Voice Of Experience* - Do not make popcorn when you're on acid unless there is a fire alarm nearby.
  
  --
  "Think about how stupid the average person is. Now, realise that half of them are dumber than that." - George Carlin
36. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by jones_supa · 2014-05-16 06:21 · Score: 1
  
  I have an old 500W Sharp microwave and I cannot make microwave popcorn even at max power. The kernals never pop.
  It's a nice machine, built like a tank and works great, so I have kept it.
37. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by jasonataylor · 2014-05-16 06:36 · Score: 1
  
  I love your comment. Too often implicit or explicit contradictions in people's opinions are ignored.
  Regarding your actual question, this isn't a mere "monkey on keyboard" error from the commenter you've uncovered. No, IMO, it's the underlying paradoxical nature of what is going on: one is being told to wait (as the instructions require) to save time (by using a microwave oven instead of a convection oven).
  
  --
  jason.arthur.taylor at gmail dot com;240-471-5613. I respond to all emails, if only with "ok." If I did't respond, I did
38. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by the+phantom · 2014-05-16 06:38 · Score: 2
  
  There ain't nothin' in this world that needs to be microwaved for anything other than an integer number of minutes.
  
  --
  Rhapsody in Numbers
39. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by aevan · 2014-05-16 06:52 · Score: 1
  
  *amused* they weren't left unattended. "The only problem is that the amount of time between "done" and "everything smells like smoke" is a very short amount of time" was pretty much it. The space of a few seconds it seemed to jump from 'half the bag isn't popped' to 'half the bag is briquettes', so power reductions were played with.
  
  Personally prefer using the airpopper, but when you're just whipping up a last minute snag for the bratlings, nuked works.
40. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by retchdog · 2014-05-16 07:58 · Score: 1
  
  air poppers make mushy garbage. popping in oil adds a lot of texture, and coconut oil adds amazing flavor.
  yeah, you can cover up the mediocrity with spices (ugh) and lime juice (what the fuck is wrong with you?), but that's all it is.
  
  --
  "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
41. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by retchdog · 2014-05-16 08:02 · Score: 1
  
  yes, adequate heat retention/dispersion helps a lot. my favorite is thick-walled anodized aluminum; once you get the oil ratio correct, the popcorn absorbs almost all of the oil (without getting greasy), and cleaning off the anodized aluminum is very fast.
  Do not make popcorn when you're on acid unless there is a fire alarm nearby.
  lol, or, maybe just "do not make popcorn when you're on acid." :)
  
  --
  "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
42. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by AK+Marc · 2014-05-16 10:08 · Score: 1
  
  Cheap crap like Act II was the benchmark. In my current microwave, Act II pops fine. Oh, and yes, I did try Orville in my old microwave. It also failed to pop properly, but was better than Act II. I just don't like it because it's over-flavored. I actually prefer air popped to buttered. Orville is only good for those that like the over-buttered movie popcorn.
  
  --
  Learn to love Alaska
43. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by the+phantom · 2014-05-16 10:56 · Score: 1
  
  Lies! One minute each.
  
  --
  Rhapsody in Numbers
44. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by nwf · 2014-05-16 14:38 · Score: 1
  
  My microwave has a +30 button, too, and direct buttons for 1-6 minutes. So for anything from 30 sec to 6:30 in 30 second increments, I need just one or two key presses. Laziness at it's finest.
  
  --
  I don't know, but it works for me.
45. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by AK+Marc · 2014-05-16 18:58 · Score: 1
  
  For $15 on sale, an air popper wasn't a bad thing, but it throws the popped corn all over the place.
  
  --
  Learn to love Alaska
46. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by retchdog · 2014-05-17 05:35 · Score: 1
  
  on the contrary, it is impossible to make anything else with an air popper. i'm sorry if you find the concept baffling, but here is another deep conundrum for you: french fries are crispier than baked potatoes! holy shit! how can that be possible? french fries are cooked in oil; oil makes things soggy. but somehow exactly the opposite happens! how the fuck does it work?
  
  --
  "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
47. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by the+phantom · 2014-05-17 07:13 · Score: 1
  
  Why do you hate America?
  
  --
  Rhapsody in Numbers
48. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by retchdog · 2014-05-17 11:45 · Score: 1
  
  you vapid, braindead cunt. the reason baked chicken gets crispy is because you cook off the water, leaving the fat. let me repeat that for you: leaving the fat. idiot.
  there is no fat (technically, negligible fat) to leave in popcorn. by cooking it in oil, you introduce fat, which is hydrophobic, and thus keeps water/steam away. that's why potato chips stay crispy, and that's why oil-popped corn tastes good while air-popped corn is shit and always will be. you know it's shit, because you have to put fucking lime juice in it to make it edible.
  i hate you so much. hate. hate. hate. HATE.
  
  --
  "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
49. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by retchdog · 2014-05-17 12:01 · Score: 1
  
  i wish that i knew who you were so that i could rape you to death.
  
  --
  "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky
50. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by RockDoctor · 2014-05-18 05:48 · Score: 1
  
  popcorn:
  [SNIP] pull bag out, enjoy results.
  "Popcorn" and "enjoy" in the same sentence?
  Bowfing shite. Fit for horses and ... well I'd even hesitate to feed it to an American. Unless the waterboard was broken.
  
  --
  Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
51. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by war4peace · 2014-05-18 10:54 · Score: 1
  
  You can stick to your Caviar, I don't mind. We mortals do eat corn as well.
  
  --
  ...gis sdrawkcab (usually not responding to ACs; don't bother posting as AC)
52. Re:Somebody needs to buy... by RockDoctor · 2014-05-18 11:55 · Score: 1
  
  I much prefer the red caviar to the black. no wonder the Russians export the black stuff to wherever they can find people to buy it.
  None of which makes popcorn anything less than shite.
  
  --
  Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
learn the tools you use by HybridST · 2014-05-15 17:26 · Score: 3, Funny

Most microwaves have a power control. 90 seconds at power 2 or 3, wait 1 minute. Flip, 1 minute at full power. Wait 3 minutes. Serve.
There exist websites and books devoted to this appliance and how to use it correctly. This is a non-story.
Caveat: there are some nice physics going on in the explanation but only for the layman. Look elsewhere for the gritty detail we /.ers are used to seeing.

--
Ever notice that Cobra Commander sounds an awful lot like Star scream?
1. Re:learn the tools you use by toejam13 · 2014-05-15 18:14 · Score: 3, Interesting
  
  Agreed. I rarely microwave my food with a power duty cycle level higher than 70%. You need those few seconds of rest for the heat to evenly distribute inside your food.
  For frozen stuff, I usually set it to 50% so that the outside doesn't overcook. Takes longer, but not as long as a regular oven.
Seriously. by adolf · 2014-05-15 17:31 · Score: 4, Funny

I've never had a problem with Hot Pockets: Follow directions, learn how it works in a given microwave oven, and...done: Ridiculously-hot cheap, bubbly, unhealthy goodness.
Meanwhile, I don't need to read TFA to learn how the powdered aluminum wrapper turns RF energy into thermal energy. And I don't need TFA to know that any thing has a certain reluctance toward changing temperatures, as nothing is a perfect thermal conductor.
In fact: Dude, I've been cooking with a microwave since I was a little kid: It was the first kitchen appliance I was certified on other than -- maybe -- an electric can opener.
Up next on /.: How shoelaces work to keep our shoes on our feet, followed by a lesson in using a light switch to illuminate a dark room. Or "Toast: Why bread is caramelized only on the outside when using the every-day toaster."
*head in hands*

--
Kid-proof tablet..
1. Re:Seriously. by Jmc23 · 2014-05-15 18:02 · Score: 1
  
  Dude, I've been cooking with a microwave since I was a little kid.
  n.b. this is not something to be proud of, but hey if you can't tell the difference, kudos to you.
  
  --
  Don't complain about syntax, grammar, or spelling. There is no.hell like input on android.
2. Re:Seriously. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-05-15 18:04 · Score: 1
  
  Normally a microwave cooks things from the inside out, because it transfers energy directly to the water molecules. In other words, normal microwave operation has very little to do with thermal conduction.
  However, microwaves don't cook ice because the ice crystal lattice prevents the frozen water molecules from resonating at 2.45 GHz, which means very little microwave energy is transferred into to ice. Thus frozen foots rely on on thermal conduction.
  Tip #1: Try HybridST's suggestion of using 90 seconds at low power, or try putting it in a ziplock bag and letting it thaw in warm water for a few minutes. This will dramatically improve the effectiveness of the microwave.
  Tip #2: Cut a 1/8" thick strip of cardboard and bend it into a zigzag Z pattern. Use that as an air gap inside the crisping sleeve under the hot pocket; it will prevent the soggies.
3. Re:Seriously. by Hognoxious · 2014-05-15 19:40 · Score: 1
  
  Normally a microwave cooks things from the inside out
  That's what they said when they first hit the market. It was bollocks then and it's bollocks now.
  
  it transfers energy directly to the water molecules.
  
  But not to the ones on the outside, presumably.
  
  --
  Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
4. Re:Seriously. by DarwinSurvivor · 2014-05-15 19:47 · Score: 2
  
  How shoelaces work to keep our shoes on our feet
  Ted already did that one.
5. Re:Seriously. by Stormwatch · 2014-05-15 20:05 · Score: 1
  
  Someone mod that up, please! That was very informative, I've been tying my shoes wrong all my life!
  
  --
  Circumcision is child abuse.
6. Re:Seriously. by Kuroji · 2014-05-15 20:23 · Score: 1
  
  Really? Have your shoes not been staying tied when you tie them? Have they been constantly catching on anything you walk past since you were able to tie them yourself?
  No?
  Then maybe everyone should stop praising this talk as the goddamn second coming.
7. Re:Seriously. by oobayly · 2014-05-15 22:51 · Score: 1
  
  Interesting, I'd never really looked at the knot I use to tie my laces - it turns out I've been doing it "correctly". So I had a look at the resulting knot - the correct way results in what looks like a Reef Knot whereas the incorrect way ends in a "granny knot" (I'll have to find the etymology of that one).
  Odds are, I managed to do it correctly because of years of having to tie knots with cold water being dumped over me, a sailing flapping in my face, trying to steady myself on a deck at a 40 degree and with a tactician shouting "hurry up" because he gave me 45 seconds to change a sail. It turns out that I now struggle to tie knots while looking at them.
8. Re:Seriously. by DarwinSurvivor · 2014-05-15 23:43 · Score: 1
  
  My shoes were by far the first knot I ever learned to tie. I then became very good at tying knots in scouts (I can tie a bowline around my waist with 1 hand). It wasn't until I watched the video that I actually bothered to look at the knot I'd been tying everyday from muscle memory and realized it was a granny knot. The instant I actually looked at the knot on my shoe I knew it was wrong, I just never looked at the damn thing for 20+ years!
9. Re:Seriously. by DarwinSurvivor · 2014-05-15 23:45 · Score: 1
  
  To be fair, sandals didn't have laces for his supposed first time around.
10. Re:Seriously. by darkonc · 2014-05-15 23:45 · Score: 1
  
  If you don't have a problem with Hot Pockets, then you probably have a freezer section that borderline doesn't work. If a hot-pocket is nearly thawed when you throw it into the microwave, it will have pockets of semi-liquid that quickly heat up and help to thaw the internals which then heat up nicely. It doesn't have a whole lot to do with the power of your microwave.
  The other solution is to run the thing on 'defrost' for a couple of minutes -- (a short blast of microwaves every 10 seconds or so, with time for the recently-heated liquids to thaw the area around them)... then follow the normal directions to get a properly hot hot-pocket.
  
  --
  Sometimes boldness is in fashion. Sometimes only the brave will be bold.
11. Re:Seriously. by omnichad · 2014-05-16 02:10 · Score: 1
  
  If there were no fat in a hot pocket, then maybe I'd agree with you. As long as I put the pocket to the edge of the turntable instead of the middle, it comes out fine. I only cook at 60% power, but that's not enough change to fully defrost the water alone.
12. Re:Seriously. by Reapy · 2014-05-16 02:42 · Score: 1
  
  Tying my shoes is the only knot I know how to tie, I guess I was lucky in that I was taught the 'right' way the first time. After watching the video I ended up tying my shoes wrong trying to reverse what I normally did.
13. Re:Seriously. by Richy_T · 2014-05-16 02:57 · Score: 1
  
  Fucking magnetrons, how do they work?
14. Re:Seriously. by Agent0013 · 2014-05-16 05:09 · Score: 1
  
  How shoelaces work to keep our shoes on our feet,
  Here is a Ted Talk on how you are probably tying your shoelaces wrong. Did you know there are two versions of that knot. One is the strong version and the other is the weak version. Most people learn to tie the weak version. The weak version also causes the bows to align along the long axis of the shoe instead of lying across the shoe as it should.
  
  --
  
  -- ssoorrrryy,, dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh oonn.. -Quote found on actual fortune cookie.
15. Re:Seriously. by Anonymous+Cod · 2014-05-16 13:13 · Score: 1
  
  I don't have a problem with Hot Pockets. I take one to work every day and place it in the mini-fridge on the top rack right next to the "freezer" section (but not in it). When I'm ready for lunch I nuke it for 70 seconds and can start eating it in just a couple minutes. Nearly thawed is the way to go, whether it be from a non-working freezer or intentionally refrigerated. Do note that if for some reason I didn't eat it that day I would throw it away.
16. Re:Seriously. by dysmal · 2014-05-16 13:31 · Score: 1
  
  Cron job FTW!
17. Re:Seriously. by vandamme · 2014-05-17 04:56 · Score: 1
  
  Serious answer: it's a long story, but it's like how a organ pipe turns a stream of air into an oscillating one, except using electricity instead of air. I left out the part about thermionic emission and crossed-field magnetic and electric fields, but you can read that in many radar textbooks, like "Microwave Tubes" by A. Scott Gilmour.
18. Re:Seriously. by Hognoxious · 2014-05-17 08:04 · Score: 1
  
  The fact is, if you let chicken thaw for a few minutes, it cooks all the way through, although the outside will cook a little slower because it loses heat to the environment.
  Which isn't the same as cooking from the inside.
  
  if you have a combi-microwave you can even get your chicken golden-brown and crispy on the outside.
  if you have a combi-HB pencil you can destroy a tank with it.
  Where "combi" means "in the pocket of the pilot of an A-10", i.e. loosely associated with something that actually does the thing you're claiming.
  
  --
  Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
19. Re:Seriously. by Richy_T · 2014-05-18 04:06 · Score: 1
  
  Haha, no, it's a meme reference. It's OK though, I once spent ten minutes explaining magnets to someone who used it on me.
20. Re:Seriously. by Hognoxious · 2014-05-22 08:12 · Score: 1
  
  Because not everyone is as thick as you, that's why.
  Maybe you can explain how the rays manage to pass through the outside of the object without vibrating the bonds there and suddenly, when they get to the middle (how do they know?) they wake up and start transferring their energy to the food molecules?
  When you do that send me a postcard from Stockholm, you imbecile.
  
  --
  Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
It's on purpose by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · 2014-05-15 18:10 · Score: 4, Funny

Scalding on the outside and frozen inside is a feature: it's the Hot Pocket's way of telling you it really isn't proper nutrition.

--
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Penetration of microwaves by countach · 2014-05-15 18:18 · Score: 1

I always assumed it was something to do with losing energy as the microwaves penetrated the substance, and I don't see how this explanation really changes that. After all, when the pocket comes out of the freezer it is ALL frozen. OK, so frozen stuff doesn't microwave easily, but then why does the outside heat first? My intuitive thought that the microwaves don't penetrate as well seems unrefuted.
1. Re:Penetration of microwaves by WhiteZook · 2014-05-15 18:26 · Score: 1
  
  The outside layer of molecules in the crystal lattice have a bit more freedom to wiggle, so they'll heat up quicker in the microwave. Also, the outside layer is in contact with the air, so that also helps to thaw it.
2. Re:Penetration of microwaves by Deadstick · 2014-05-16 01:10 · Score: 2
  
  OK, so frozen stuff doesn't microwave easily, but then why does the outside heat first?
  When a wave penetrates a conducting medium, it transfers energy into the medium, and as a result it gets weaker exponentially. The intensity vs. depth is given by
  E=Ei*exp[-C(depth/wavelength)]
  where Ei is the intensity at the surface, and C is a constant that depends on the characteristics of the medium. C is small in ice, so the wave doesn't transfer much energy initially, and most of the energy just trucks on through and out the other side. Still, there is some attenuation, so the intensity is greatest at the surface and melting occurs there first.
  As soon as that happens at the surface, C gets much larger and the liquid sucks most of the energy out, getting progressively hotter. The remaining energy again encounters ice, and has almost clear sailing until it hits the water on the other side, and again heats the water.
3. Re:Penetration of microwaves by vandamme · 2014-05-17 04:57 · Score: 1
  
  No, sorry.
4. Re:Penetration of microwaves by vandamme · 2014-05-17 05:01 · Score: 1
  
  Finally, somebody got it right.
  I might add that there are hot spots inside the oven (due to standing waves), and you need to move the food or the waves (using stirring vanes, which are usually hidden), to more evenly heat food.
  I am a microwave engineer, although I usually limit my work to radar transmitters.
Thanks? by jonyen · 2014-05-15 18:21 · Score: 1

Well, now I understand why hot pockets stay frozen in the middle, but the article doesn't tell me what I can do to heat it up...
1. Re:Thanks? by NoImNotNineVolt · 2014-05-16 02:29 · Score: 1
  
  It's really not rocket science. You wait.
  
  I know it can be difficult to restrain oneself when there's a parcel of gooey deliciousness sitting there, fumes of flavor enticing and tempting. But really, if you just wait approximately three minutes after it's out of the microwave, you'll find that the outside is still nice and toasty, but now the inside isn't some strange combination of lava and ice cubes. Let that heat distribution even out and your processed food product will be much more enjoyable.
  
  --
  Chuuch. Preach. Tabernacle.
2. Re:Thanks? by iggymanz · 2014-05-16 04:38 · Score: 1
  
  why not, plenty of other actually known bad things for ones health than whatever imagined dangers you think are lurking in hot pockets. 320 calories, 15 grams fat, 11 grams protein, 3 grams carbs....no big deal
3. Re:Thanks? by gzuckier · 2014-05-17 06:19 · Score: 1
  
  Well, now I understand why hot pockets stay frozen in the middle, but the article doesn't tell me what I can do to heat it up...
  Halfway through, turn them inside out.
  
  --
  Star Trek transporters are just 3d printers.
RTFM, why? by VortexCortex · 2014-05-15 18:22 · Score: 1

Hey, if idiots wrote it then RTFM is a bad idea, OK?
Simply keep the Hot Pockets in your fridge. Then place them in your toaster oven to cook them.
1. Re:RTFM, why? by cusco · 2014-05-16 09:08 · Score: 1
  
  Better idea. Keep the Hot Pockets in your freezer, then when you sell the freezer make sure they go with it. Bleah, nasty things . . .
  
  --
  "Think about how stupid the average person is. Now, realise that half of them are dumber than that." - George Carlin
Ugh by Misanthrope · 2014-05-15 18:32 · Score: 1

Jim Gaffigan sums up my feelings on Hot Pockets.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
1. Re:Ugh by drinkypoo · 2014-05-15 23:54 · Score: 1
  
  I think Daniel Tosh did a better job of summing up my feelings on hot pockets, but it seems like Jim Gaffigan helped.
  
  --
  "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
2. Re:Ugh by rwise2112 · 2014-05-16 02:28 · Score: 1
  
  Dr. Evil has a different opinion: "Have you tried the Hot Pockets? They're breathtaking!"
  
  --
  
  "For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert"
I "airwave" frozen food lately. by Maxo-Texas · 2014-05-15 20:04 · Score: 2

I know I'm going to eat a frozen dinner so I sit it on the counter for 10 minutes before i heat it. They heat up evenly and faster.
I also nuke for a 15% longer but at 80% power.
Of course, I also gussy frozen food up too. Adding just a teeny bit of herbs, or sour cream, more vegetables or some fresh cheese can make them quite tasty.

--
She was like chocolate when she drank... semi-sweet at first and then increasingly bitter.
1. Re:I "airwave" frozen food lately. by bluefoxlucid · 2014-05-16 03:22 · Score: 1
  
  I never bought a microwave. Parents had one, but I bought a toaster oven when I moved out. I've never needed a microwave.
  
  --
  Support my political activism on Patreon.
Re:Utterly wrong explanation by Alioth · 2014-05-15 23:26 · Score: 1

[citation needed]
I've never seen the explanation for how a microwave works written as in your message until today. All the explanations I've seen are what's stated in the article; so I think it's your explanation that's wrong for how microwave ovens heat water.

--
Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
Gaffigan by ThatsNotPudding · 2014-05-15 23:36 · Score: 1

"We offer a Hot Pocket; the outside is boiling lava-hot and the inside is frozen solid."
"Will it burn the roof of my mouth?"
"Oh, it will destroy it. Everything will take like plastic for a week."
"I'll have the Hot Pocket."
Re: Ovens. Get rid of them. by Anonymous Coward · 2014-05-15 23:55 · Score: 1

You are kidding right? Cooking raw meat in the microwave is probably the most disgusting thing I've heard (I'm gagging at the thought).
Microwaves are useful for heating small amounts of water, and that is about it. They destroy/alter the texture and taste of food to the point of being uneditable.
Yes, I am a microwave hater.
Re: Ovens. Get rid of them. by ferret4 · 2014-05-16 00:56 · Score: 1

When you've finished tearing your meat to shreds, why not add it to a chemical bath to leech out the nutrients while turning the remainder into shit? Smart people can just suck the juice of life up a straw from around the turds, while the morons out there can pretend they're enjoying their 'meals'.
Try 3 minutes, without the sleeve. by CronoCloud · 2014-05-16 01:04 · Score: 1

1100 watt oven 3 minutes 10 seconds, without the crisping sleeve, on a paper plate, on the outside of the turntable. Let cool for a minute, or two, Eat. Better tasting fillng that way too.
Re:US-centric by Dins · 2014-05-16 01:14 · Score: 1

So submit an article!
Old news by YoungManKlaus · 2014-05-16 01:21 · Score: 1

you learn that in physics classes normally
Author must be doing it wrong by Nimey · 2014-05-16 02:15 · Score: 1

I used to eat 3-4 Lean Pockets a week, so I've got a pretty good idea what I'm talking about: I've never had the problem he describes with the outer portions being lava-hot but the center being frozen. This has been so across 3 different microwave ovens, one of which was an ancient late-'80s unit made when turntables were a premium feature and you set the time with a dial.
My secret? Following the goddamn directions on the box and adjusting for the microwave's rated power. The directions are usually for a 1000 Watt microwave (some products calibrate for 1100W for some reason). That's what my current unit is, so that's easy. If the microwave is 900W, you nuke the food for 10% longer, so if the directions call for 3.5 minutes you convert that to seconds (210) and add 10% (21), giving 231, then convert that back to minutes and seconds, which is what the microwave groks (3 min 51 sec). Stupid easy.
I have had the author's described problems when heating up leftovers, especially stews.

--
Hail Eris, full of mischief...

E pluribus sanguinem
Re: Ovens. Get rid of them. by NoImNotNineVolt · 2014-05-16 02:18 · Score: 1

Microwave bacon.

Seriously. This coming from a bacon lover who saved the rendered bacon lard from all his bacon frying adventures. Once you go microwave bacon, you never go back. Perfectly crispy every time.

But you don't get to save all the bacon lard, unfortunately. Good thing I still have a solid 8 oz. left from my frying days.

--
Chuuch. Preach. Tabernacle.
Re:Under-engineered footwear by hoboroadie · 2014-05-16 02:39 · Score: 1

Part of the problem is that those shoes also don't last long enough to earn after-market laces. I have replaced original-equipment faux laces on new shoes with good results.

--
They feared that it could be used to suppress protest or support unpopular rule.
Re: Ovens. Get rid of them. by hendrips · 2014-05-16 02:48 · Score: 1

I'll second that statement. Microwaving is especially nice for me because I can make the bacon crispy without having to char it, which was always my pet peeve about bacon.
Re:Ovens. Get rid of them. by Richy_T · 2014-05-16 02:55 · Score: 1

A reasonable compromise is to stuff the skin around the neck area. Extra stuffing can be rolled into balls and cooked next to the bird (the bottom tends to get a little soggy but tastes great)
one problem... by roc97007 · 2014-05-16 02:58 · Score: 1

...is that people try to eat microwaved food right out of the microwave. The food hasn't finished cooking at that time. Leave it another minute for the internal temperatures to equalize.
I thought every college student knew that.
Mind you, Hot Pockets are nasty. Lean pockets are slightly less nasty.

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Re: Ovens. Get rid of them. by NoImNotNineVolt · 2014-05-16 03:14 · Score: 1

I'm aware of the rack, but I've already got way too much shit in the kitchen. One day, it came down to the microwave bacon rack or the immersion blender, and I decided the immersion blender was way more valuable to me.

That being said, wringing out the paper towels would be blasphemy. By that point, the lard has already been tainted with that paper towel flavor. Don't ask me how I know.

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Re:Ovens. Get rid of them. by 3.5+stripes · 2014-05-16 04:09 · Score: 1

Or you can stand your turkey on it's head (or where it used to be) and spoon the stuffing into the carcass..

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Re:Utterly wrong explanation by OneAhead · 2014-05-16 04:46 · Score: 1

Finally someone who got it right. GP is wrong about the Joule heating; ultra-pure water with near-zero conductivity heats just fine in the microwave, as do oil and dry carbohydrates, and insects do die if they don't manage to go sit at a node in the standing wave, only they seem to actively seek these nodes by moving to where it feels least hot. That said, it seems plausible that there is some joule heating in actual food, and it could even help explain some weird heating patterns; it's just not the most important contribution overall.
TFA at the very least used unfortunate wording suggesting rotational resonance, which would also be wrong. This is a pervasive urban legend even amongst people who should know better, and can even be found in some entry-level textbooks (see the scan in TFA). The misconseption is based on the fact that molecular rotations for gases are indeed located in the microwave spectrum. However, molecules don't really rotate freely in the condensed phase (and the peaks for water vapor are at 22.2 and 183GHz anyway so the frequency of the microwave oven would be far off). Dielectric heating is the only correct explanation. That said, it does seems plausible that the dielectric heating of liquid water is more efficient than that of ice because of the more persisten hydrogen bonds, so TFA probably got that part right.
In summary, both GP and TFA got their basic mechanism wrong but contain some good arguments nevertheless.
Re:Utterly wrong explanation by jasonataylor · 2014-05-16 07:03 · Score: 1

Here's a test for you: ever notice that a fly in the microwave survives?
Not longer than 3 seconds. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdsyq6RnjO4

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Re:Maytag Wide Glide Re:Microwave trays by larry+bagina · 2014-05-16 07:08 · Score: 1

WideGlide? Sounds like goatse lube. Whoever approved that name really fucked up.

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Conductivity by StikyPad · 2014-05-16 07:33 · Score: 1

I've never ever experienced a Hot Pocket that was anything less than flesh-searing hot on the inside.
That said, TLDR: Energy is supplied to the outside faster than it can be conducted to the inside of the food.
I'm too lazy to count, but I'm pretty sure that would fit in a tweet, and hopefully it was a "no shit" situation for 99% of people with brains. Essentially it's the same reason a steak can be burnt on the outside and raw on the inside.

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Re:Haha by iggymanz · 2014-05-16 10:36 · Score: 1

well that was informative in the extreme and changed my mind about the subject, an exquisite application of the four classical syllogism forms
Because you didn't cook it properly? by mysidia · 2014-05-16 12:41 · Score: 1

Perhaps you missed the direction about cooking the hotpocket inside the crisper it comes with in a 1100 watt microwave oven; preferably in a microwave with a rotating carousel. Or possibly the direction to let it sit for 5 minutes after cooking.
A minute or two later, you pull it out, and there it is: boiling on the outside, frozen in the middle. Finally, a physicist answers the eternal question: why do microwaved foods remain frozen on the inside
Because the microwaves are high energy, they are absorbed or dispersed near the surface, when they come into contact with compounds such as water.
The heat takes much longer to conduct through the material, than microwaves take to hit the material, therefore: the center takes longer to be heated.
air pressure by Kevin+Fishburne · 2014-05-16 14:38 · Score: 1

Would microwaving frozen food in a vacuum (or conversely under high pressure) make any useful difference in how evenly the food cooked? A lower pressure would lower the boiling point and a higher pressure would raise it. What about subtly modifying the wavelengths or amplitude? I'm not a physicist so I have no idea. Just throwing that out there to see if someone smarter than me can make it stick.

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Re:what? by NewAndFresh · 2014-05-17 08:32 · Score: 1

would be nice if some politician would call out nestle on their marketing to embarrass them. or maybe some weird lawsuit would help. like with oreos. http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/05...

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Re:what? by NewAndFresh · 2014-05-17 14:17 · Score: 1

"Why does a ham and cheese hot pocket have so many ingredients? --because chemicals are cheaper then real food.

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Welcome to Costco, I love you.