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Microsoft Rolls Out Robot Security Guards
An anonymous reader writes: Microsoft is testing a group of five robot security guards. They contain a sophisticated sensor suite that includes 360-degree HD video, thermal imaging, night vision, LIDAR, and audio recorders. They can also detect various chemicals and radiation signatures, and do some rudimentary behavioral analysis on people they see. (And they look a bit like Daleks.) The robots are unarmed, so we don't have to worry about a revolt just yet, but they can sound an alarm and call for human officers. They weigh about 300 lbs each, can last roughly a day on a battery charge, and know to head to the charging station when they're low on power.
EXTERMINATE
So, if I push it over, can it get back up?
Because that thing looks like it was made to be pushed over.
And I can't get up.
From the Ars article: Coming soon: Slow, heavy, shrieking, autonomous robot rent-a-cops
Should anybody choose to attack the K5, as opposed to walking briskly away, the unit can react with a shrieking alarm that Stephens described as like "a car alarm but much more intense." That will probably happen shortly after the K5 falls to the ground, unable to right itself, which actually happened during Knightscope's MIT robot demo.
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Clippy the Guard: Hi there, I see you are attempting to break and enter, how may I be of assistance?
Burglar: (thinks "WTF") Errrmmm....have you got a key to this lock?
Clippy: No problem, I can open it automatically. However, have you tried the door over there?
Burglar: No, I want to break in through this door.
Clippy: The door over there is very nice, are you sure?
Burglar: Please open this door?
Clippy: Would you like me sound the alarm first?
Burglar: No, just open the damn door.
Clippy: The alarm is very nice.
Burglar: Will you pluuuueeessse open this door, you damn robot?
Clippy: I don't like your attitude.
Burglar: (pulls out gun, shoots self in head) BLAM....THUNK.
Clippy: Look it, I'm not opening the door if you are dead. Are you really dead? Hey...you??? Damn humans (stomps off).
Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to patrol the Microsoft visitor parking lot. Call that job satisfaction, because I don't.
Four... three... two... one... I am now authorized to use physical force!
More like:
K5: You have 20 seconds to comply.
K5: You have 19 seconds to comply.
K5: You have 1 hour 48 minutes and 34 seconds to comply.
K5: You have 4 minutes to comply.
K5: You have 29 days, 6 hours and 13 minutes to comply.