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Microsoft Rolls Out Robot Security Guards
An anonymous reader writes: Microsoft is testing a group of five robot security guards. They contain a sophisticated sensor suite that includes 360-degree HD video, thermal imaging, night vision, LIDAR, and audio recorders. They can also detect various chemicals and radiation signatures, and do some rudimentary behavioral analysis on people they see. (And they look a bit like Daleks.) The robots are unarmed, so we don't have to worry about a revolt just yet, but they can sound an alarm and call for human officers. They weigh about 300 lbs each, can last roughly a day on a battery charge, and know to head to the charging station when they're low on power.
EXTERMINATE
I for one welcome our new dalek shaped robotic overlords.
Solving Unix problems since 1989...
One of them will malfunction and start calling himself Johnny-Five.
Terminator vision.
As Thanshin said above, "EX-TER-MI-NATE!"
Their security call goes something like this: "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"
Oh, so they are over-weight Roomba. Gotcha.
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So, if I push it over, can it get back up?
Because that thing looks like it was made to be pushed over.
And I can't get up.
From the Ars article: Coming soon: Slow, heavy, shrieking, autonomous robot rent-a-cops
Should anybody choose to attack the K5, as opposed to walking briskly away, the unit can react with a shrieking alarm that Stephens described as like "a car alarm but much more intense." That will probably happen shortly after the K5 falls to the ground, unable to right itself, which actually happened during Knightscope's MIT robot demo.
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I was set to make a comment about how they should paint them BSOD blue- but they actually already did! At least that's how it looked in the video.
And then they make them look sorta like Daleks, and I can't really complain about that.
At this point all I can hope for is that they forgot to teach them about escalators or splash fountains, and wait for the inevitable videos.
Daleks nothing, those look more like the turrets from Portal to me. Pleeeease let someone at Microsoft load the turret voices onto them.
When someone says, "Any fool can see
Article doesn't list a price, but it seems to me like it would be a heck of a lot cheaper to just install a bunch of HD cameras and microphones around the campus. You could still run the fancy behaviour analysis software on the feed, but you wouldn't need the big lidar driven robot.
Clippy the Guard: Hi there, I see you are attempting to break and enter, how may I be of assistance?
Burglar: (thinks "WTF") Errrmmm....have you got a key to this lock?
Clippy: No problem, I can open it automatically. However, have you tried the door over there?
Burglar: No, I want to break in through this door.
Clippy: The door over there is very nice, are you sure?
Burglar: Please open this door?
Clippy: Would you like me sound the alarm first?
Burglar: No, just open the damn door.
Clippy: The alarm is very nice.
Burglar: Will you pluuuueeessse open this door, you damn robot?
Clippy: I don't like your attitude.
Burglar: (pulls out gun, shoots self in head) BLAM....THUNK.
Clippy: Look it, I'm not opening the door if you are dead. Are you really dead? Hey...you??? Damn humans (stomps off).
It's Serge!
For people quesitoning the functionality or durability of this machine, its important to understand what a meat-space security guard does, observe and report. Security services will tell you upfront that their services are only meant to convey a sense of security, not to actually secure or make secure things in the first place. Guards, in most capacities, are not charged with stopping assailants, arresting theives, or even confronting people who break the law. The vast majority do not in fact even carry pepperspray. their appearance alone is used as a deterrance, and at best while they receive CPR, AED, and O2 certifications they are compelled to use their discretion when and if to apply these skills.
Machines are perfect for this work as they never tire from watching monitors for hours or days on end. They will never sprain an ankle or catch a cold, or show up late. the question is however, does the presence of a machine deter criminals as well as the presence of a human being in an official looking uniform. If theives routinely disregard electronic locks, security cameras, inventory control alarms, burglary and silent hold up alarms, and even warnings of time-delay safes, then its perfectly reasonable to assume these robotic guards will be no more effective than a curiousity. Expect to lose any gains saught from employing a real person when you have to pay for graffiti removal theft. You can also expect them to exist as a vector for network security attacks.
Good people go to bed earlier.
Knowing Microsoft, it's more like:
You have 20 seconds to comply...
You have 10 seconds to comply...
You have 37 seconds to comply...
You have 1597 seconds to comply...
You have 2 seconds to comply...
You have 734 seconds to comply...
Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to patrol the Microsoft visitor parking lot. Call that job satisfaction, because I don't.
Four... three... two... one... I am now authorized to use physical force!
More like:
K5: You have 20 seconds to comply.
K5: You have 19 seconds to comply.
K5: You have 1 hour 48 minutes and 34 seconds to comply.
K5: You have 4 minutes to comply.
K5: You have 29 days, 6 hours and 13 minutes to comply.