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Parents Investigated For Neglect For Letting Kids Walk Home Alone

HughPickens.com writes The WaPo reports that Danielle and Alexander Meitiv in Montgomery County Maryland say they are being investigated for neglect after letting their 10-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter make a one-mile walk home from a Silver Spring park on Georgia Avenue on a Saturday afternoon. "We wouldn't have let them do it if we didn't think they were ready for it," says Danielle. The Meitivs say they believe in "free-range" parenting, a movement that has been a counterpoint to the hyper-vigilance of "helicopter" parenting, with the idea that children learn self-reliance by being allowed to progressively test limits, make choices and venture out in the world. "The world is actually even safer than when I was a child, and I just want to give them the same freedom and independence that I had — basically an old-fashioned childhood," says Danielle. "I think it's absolutely critical for their development — to learn responsibility, to experience the world, to gain confidence and competency."

On December 20, Alexander agreed to let the children walk from Woodside Park to their home, a mile south, in an area the family says the children know well. Police picked up the children near the Discovery building, the family said, after someone reported seeing them. Alexander said he had a tense time with police when officers returned his children, asked for his identification and told him about the dangers of the world. The more lasting issue has been with Montgomery County Child Protective Services which showed up a couple of hours later. Although Child Protective Services could not address this specific case they did point to Maryland law, which defines child neglect as failure to provide proper care and supervision of a child. "I think what CPS considered neglect, we felt was an essential part of growing up and maturing," says Alexander. "We feel we're being bullied into a point of view about child-rearing that we strongly disagree with."

30 of 784 comments (clear)

  1. The Dangers of the World by Tokolosh · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Not who or what you think they are.

    All power to the Meitivs.

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    1. Re:The Dangers of the World by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Indeed. Apparently these children will be learning very young about the risks of allowing anyone to have special powers over someone else under the law and the importance of restricting those powers to people competent to wield them.

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    2. Re:The Dangers of the World by trout007 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      It is a dangerous world. These kids were kidnapped on the way home. Luckily for them the kidnapper returned them to the parents.

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    3. Re:The Dangers of the World by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Also, maybe it's time for the Montgomery County Maryland finest to turn in their badges, radios, and guns, then go have their PTSD flash backs somewhere else.

      If the local police feel that the world is such a dangerous place, perhaps they would be better employed fixing that, rather than interfering with young kids going out to play.

      Entirely plausible six-year-old perspective: "Mummy, why did the police take us away after we went to play in the park today? I thought only bad people got arrested by the police. Did I do something wrong?"

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    4. Re:The Dangers of the World by NotDrWho · · Score: 5, Insightful

      The more I read stories like this, the more I'm kind of glad that my dad passed away a long time ago. No way could he live in this world. Hell, I would be embarrassed to even let him *see* it.

      Dad: "I faked my age to enlist at fifteen and fight at D-Day."
      Me: "In this world, leaving a twelve-year-old home alone can be considered child abuse."
      Dad: "And you're properly ashamed of this, right?"
      Me: "Every day I want to jump off a building."

      --
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    5. Re:The Dangers of the World by idontgno · · Score: 5, Insightful

      If the local police feel that the world is such a dangerous place, perhaps they would be better employed fixing that, rather than interfering with young kids going out to play.

      It's easier to corral the sheep than face the wolves. Even if some of the sheep don't want to cooperate. That's why you castrate them.

      Maybe it's not so baaaad.

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    6. Re:The Dangers of the World by Crashmarik · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Dad: "I faked my age to enlist at fifteen and fight at D-Day."

      That was neither a good thing, nor the right thing. Just because your dad believed something doesn't mean it should dictate your view on life.

      That was a great thing, and I would gladly shake his father's hand and say thank you. I doubt you can claim to have done anything remotely as significant.

    7. Re:The Dangers of the World by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      In some states, CPS cares about meeting metrics set by the state legislature. They will leave children in abusive homes in order to meet these metrics, unless the News Media gets involved, or a child dies. Here there a case where the investigator knew the perpetrator in a personal manner, and altered interviews from a licensed psychiatrist in the case. When it was reported to the head of CPS, they ignored it. Thankfully those kids are now all 18 and do not have to deal with an abusive parent anymore. They had to deal with it for four years though.

    8. Re:The Dangers of the World by mwvdlee · · Score: 5, Insightful

      The trauma caused by the police and child protective services far outweigh any damage that could have rationally and reasonably been expected otherwise.

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    9. Re:The Dangers of the World by MitchDev · · Score: 4, Insightful

      CPS needs to be disbanded and re-built from the ground up. Nazis indeed.

    10. Re:The Dangers of the World by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 4, Insightful

      As a parent, my first thought was, "who the fucked called up about the children?"

      My kids bike to school (about a mile) and I have had several busybody neighbors comment to me that it was unsafe, because they "might get kidnapped." I explained that they are a THOUSAND TIMES more likely to be hit by a car, and THAT is what I worry about. But the only dangerous intersection has a crossing guard, so even that is not much of a concern. People are very poor estimators of risk.

    11. Re:The Dangers of the World by rjstanford · · Score: 5, Insightful

      What happened to your family was terribly unfortunate.

      It bears repeating though that it is also terribly unusual - more so now than it was in the '80s. We live in a far, far safer (although not perfect) world today then we did when we were kids by almost every possible measurement.

      I'm sure that the independence you got from your paper route and your relative freedom helped to make you the strong person that you are today, even though it wasn't without some small risk.

      --
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    12. Re:The Dangers of the World by Totenglocke · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Background: At 10 years old I was getting up at 4:30 in the morning to deliver newspapers (1980's Los Angeles County). I would never allow my children to do this today.

      Despite the fact that crime rates are less than half of what they were 20 years ago and that you were are far more risk than your kids would be? Once again, the 24/7 "news" channels win by convincing parents that there's a boogeyman around every corner and that crime is through the roof.

      --
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    13. Re:The Dangers of the World by Immerman · · Score: 5, Insightful

      The risk starts at almost zero. Your children are far more likely to die in a car accident while you drive them home from school than they are to be abducted while walking - it is only your illusion of control which is notably improved.

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    14. Re:The Dangers of the World by mysidia · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Every town/city in the US is different as far as risk. That said, the risk that a child will be kidnapped is not zero.

      It is never zero. However, we do not charge parents with neglect for driving their children around, even though we know that sometimes cars get in accidents, and sometimes passengers die.

      Therefore, for it to be said to be irresponsible, the risk should be at least greater than that of other modes of transportation.

      In other words: there must be more than residual risk, for sure.

      We also let children 'play' and engage in sports, therefore.... to be neglecting required supervision... the risk for the child in question in that situation should be at least greater than that involved in normal 'play' and sports engagements, including some dangerous sports that children are allowed to participate in with parental consent, where they could be at risk of serious injury or death from effects such as snakebite or drowning, hockey puck to the temples, for example.

      I think the question about whether the child was adequately supervised will depend on time, and also.... the local area.

      I wouldn't be comfortable with a child left alone.... that said, their kids were not alone apparently they were accompanied by each other. Therefore, if the kids have the proper skills, they would not be in particular danger, and if something did happen: the other child should be able to find help.

  2. Biased Institutions FTW by Jesrad · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "I think what CPS considered neglect, we felt was an essential part of growing up and maturing," says Alexander. "We feel we're being bullied into a point of view about child-rearing that we strongly disagree with."

    The "child protection" services have all the apparent responsibilities of caring, without having to pay the price for the efforts they demand. That's why they are intrinsically biased in favor of perpertually inflating the needs of childs and the duties of caretakers... to the point of ridiculous extremes.

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    1. Re:Biased Institutions FTW by towermac · · Score: 5, Insightful

      "(they'd see me pouring it and my kids love to try things, so I'd have to explain they couldn't drink it)"

      I think my Dad's plan was better. Whenever I asked him what he was drinking, he'd answer and offer me some. So at the age of 8 or so I fell for it, and took a big ol' sip of scotch on the rocks. Scotch to an 8 year old is worse than kerosene.

      It was 10 years later before I took my second drink (back when drinking age was 18). In hindsight, a brilliant plan, Dad.

  3. Add another one... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    ... to the long list of reasons i don't consider the US a good place to live in.
    With rules like this, no wonder you have 40 year old virgins living in their parents' basements.

  4. the good old days... by CrimsonAvenger · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I remember back in the day playing miles from home in the hills up past the artillery range.

    I also remember breaking my arm on such a trip, and having to push my bike home one-handed.

    Not something I think Maryland CPS would have approved of, I suspect.

    --

    "I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"
    1. Re:the good old days... by jellomizer · · Score: 5, Insightful

      To make a point. You had seriously injured yourself and still you were able to take care of yourself long enough to get back.
      We have gotten overly cautious with our children, and to make it worse, the legal system has bought into the hype as well.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
  5. Cops are right! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Alexander said he had a tense time with police when officers returned his children, asked for his identification and told him about the dangers of the world.

    Yeah, there are cops out there who shoot children. They might think the kid's backpack is a thermal nuclear device or assault rifle and shoot him on site.

  6. Time for Layoffs by jbmartin6 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This is the kind of story I think of when I hear that these agencies need more money. It seems to me they are overstaffed and overfunded if they have time for activities like this.

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  7. Times have changed. by Nyder · · Score: 5, Insightful

    By the time I was 10, not only did I have a paper route that took me a few miles from home, I had a bike that gave me greater range. This was the late 70's to early 80's. Was normal. Today we have cellphones, gps and people are tripping because a 6 & 10 year old was walking home together?

    I don't believe the USA is more violent then it was before, I believe that people are just more aware of bad shit that happens because you have a non stop stream of information, pictures and videos coming from various sources. Bad shit happens, yes, but it doesn't mean you need to lock your kids in your house and never let them out of your sight.

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  8. Re:One mile? by delt0r · · Score: 4, Insightful

    well our bus stop was 7km away. And there was a lot of broken glass, and of course bare feet and snow and stuff.

    On a more seruous note. The city must be very safe if the police don't have anything better to do than be a Chief Wiggum level dumb arse.

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  9. Re:Parents by ubersoldat2k7 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The sad thing is that this probably happened in a mid-level neighborhood. If it was a poor slum the police wouldn't care if the kids walked 5 miles under snow and surrounded by gang members.

  10. Coddling = Fail by rmdingler · · Score: 4, Insightful
    The sad state of affairs is such that it is even necessary at all to have a Child Protective Services. That's on a relatively small minority of people not ready for the responsibility of parenting, but the governmental overreach is to be expected.

    In the absence of obvious abuse, the simple test should be: is the child fed, clothed, sheltered, and schooled?

    The sadder state of affairs is that a child justifiably separated from his/her parents by the State is unlikely to do much better in the foster parent system.

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    Ernest Hemingway

  11. Re:nanny state by Shados · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Go in any of those "evil socialist" countries that have all those things, and see if parents get in trouble for letting a kid walk a mile. It has nothing to do with it.

    This is a state of black/white strong opinion. Thats where the problem lies and why shit like this happens.

  12. Re:For one mile? by AntEater · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I spent a few years of my childhood in Mass. and regularly walked to school since 1st grade - that was just under two miles each way. (Yeah, in the cold, waist-deep in snow, uphill both ways....) This is pathetic. After school many of us kids ranged all over the town playing in streams, walking the residential streets, etc. Times have changed, but I don't think this is for the better.

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  13. Not an isolated incident by mepperpint · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The police in the DC area appear to have very strong beliefs that children should be accompanied very closely by parents at all times. About a year ago, my wife and I were walking to the air and space museum with our 8 year old daughter and her 8 year old cousin in DC. We walked by a park and the children thought it would be fun to walk through the park and meet us on the other side. They were stopped in the middle of the park by a police officer who demanded to know where their parents were. They pointed at us, about 50 feet away. The police officer first demanded that we come meet him in the middle of the park to pick up the children and, after we refused, settled for escorting them the 50 feet to meet us.

    We felt like the officer was acting ludicrously and a royal jerk. It's discomforting to see that this problem is more wide spread, so I hope these parents are able to get the police and CPS to back down. I completely agree that children do not magically become grownups on their 18th birthday, they need to slowly expand their boundaries and comfort zone over time as they grow into adults.

  14. Re:Parents by Ichijo · · Score: 5, Insightful

    There's a neighborhood "liveability" metric called the Popsicle Test: can a kid get to a store on her own, buy a popsicle, and get home again before it melts?

    Today, unlike before WWII, most residential neighborhoods in the USA probably won't pass this liveability test. What's worse is we simply aren't allowed to build neighborhoods like that anymore because small neighborhood corner stores violate single-use zoning laws, and because we've decided that moving auto traffic quickly is more important than pedestrian safety. (In fact, they removed roadside trees because motorists kept hitting them. Now motorists hit pedestrians instead. How's that for progress?) So we've legislated our own independence away.

    "So this is how liberty dies...with thunderous applause."

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