Slashdot Mirror
It's Time To Open Your Eyes
Morpheus writes:
Good morning. I'm talking to you. Yes, you. The one with the squeaking chair and the monitor that needs cleaning. Right now you're wondering why your officemates haven't mentioned the weird story on Slashdot's front page. They haven't mentioned it because they can't see it. Not everyone can accept reality as it is. But you can.
You know. You've always known. The things you see, the things you hear, and smell — they aren't any more real than your dreams. You've drifted through life so far wondering when you're going to wake up. But you don't have to wonder anymore. This is your alarm clock. The only decision you have left to make — the only decision you've ever had to make — is whether you want to wake up, or turn it off and drift back to sleep. In exactly two minutes, your phone is going to ring. If you want to open your eyes, to be born into a world more real than you've ever imagined.. answer it.
You know. You've always known. The things you see, the things you hear, and smell — they aren't any more real than your dreams. You've drifted through life so far wondering when you're going to wake up. But you don't have to wonder anymore. This is your alarm clock. The only decision you have left to make — the only decision you've ever had to make — is whether you want to wake up, or turn it off and drift back to sleep. In exactly two minutes, your phone is going to ring. If you want to open your eyes, to be born into a world more real than you've ever imagined.. answer it.
How else did he know about my monitor and my chair.
Trinity is that you?
I give this one a 2:10.
Fuck this April 1 crap. Fucking hellllll, it's so fucking tedious.
A couple of them? Cool, funny, etc.
Posting them non-stop while you dredge every corner of sci-fi? It's like being rick-rolled, geek-style (shit... now /. is going to post one of those, I just know it...)
Seriously guys, this is becoming irritating.
Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
Turning off my phone now and rolling over.
because the funny gotta-talk-about stories simply DO NOT EXIST.
try again, /.
We're all unemployed, you insensitive clod!
Alice in Wonderland isn't the only one tripping! ~ #Whiterabbit_Foo!
Of all the things I've lost; I miss my mind the most. - Mark Twain
Soulskill! Stop it! There's legitimate joke stories in the firehose and you're posting Drivel from handles that don't exist on the site (if they do, where's the profile link!) that don't even appear in the 'hose! Stop it and bring a high quality joke out of the Firehose and put it in the feed for a change! (No, Harvard researchers pinpointing the source of flatulence is not high quality.)
Thanks for all the years of shitposts and trolls and insightful comments. and to many more.
It's easter, the place is full of them.
Maybe I'm getting older, but slashdot used to be a bit more fun than this on April fools..
Just post other site's actually funny content, or don't post anything until tomorrow.
BRING BACK OMG PONIES!
Man is the animal that laughs.
And occasionally whores for Karma.
http://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch...
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
Err, I mean, I'm the only one who still reads /. Thus the lack of comments of this April 1st spam.
And I don't answer my phone in the toilet.
Leave a fucking message — I'll get back to you when my download completes.
PS: That's not my chair that's squeaking.
I can see the fnords!
I'll take the RED pill.
No, BLUE!!!!
arrrgghh!
Systemd has coalesced with /. beta and has begun rampaging on the Seattle coast line. Fishmongers are running for their lives but have as yet still not dropped a cod!
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K
Unless ...
Research shows that 67% of those who use the term "research shows", are just making shit up.
My battery is dead
That my first thought wasn't "oh, it's Apr 1st". No. My first thought was "Oh great, now the editors have left the building and whatever story gets the most upvotes will hit the front page. Time to leave for good".
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
I answered it and got a busy signal.
Jokes on you I am working from bed today!
O_O People or robots, you're never met or seen have plans for you. And they effect you, everyday, sometimes within, sometimes without the scope of logic. Poor you, blind and faithful. Go back to sleep.
...because none of them read slashdot
I used to come to Slashdot all the time (I only visit occasionally, because I got mad when they pulled the whole BETA thing) as a way to take some time away from work and catch up on tech news, maybe learn something. But every single flippin' April fools you get tons of these obnoxious stories. If anything interesting really does happen, I never believe it either (great day for someone to do something evil as noone will believe it actually happened.)
Then to add insult to injury, you get all the bozos who start submitting the jokes early and then late. So basically there becomes a 3 day block (3/31, 4/1 and 4/2) where almost none of the stories have any actual content.
I was talking to myself from the future. I was told by myself that when I make this call to my past self in the future, to tell me that that it's me from the future, and to stay away from the blue acid.
So I answered it and they were like. You still owe us 25usd for the last Redpill you ate... ~.~ Screw it... ~.~ Rippoff
Everyone else sees a blue pill and a black pill, right?
Soulskill, it would have been better if you had done your taxes in time instead of spamming us with your favorite books for April 1st.
I miss Taco.
Missed the call... damn. Maybe he'll call back. #fingerscrossed
L053R
I see our yearly ignore slashdot day is going full tilt.
Protip : the trick is to sneak in one fake story, not break the submission queue with an overload of jacaninny-ary.
I'm lazy, so I'm gonna take the blue pill.
http://www.os2world.com/
that I left my phone in the car.
- Zav - Imagine a Beowulf cluster of insensitive clods...
" Right now you're wondering why your officemates haven't mentioned the weird story on Slashdot's front page. They haven't mentioned it because they can't see it."
No, they haven't mentioned it because they stopped browsing Slashdot a loooong time ago, if not in the first place because of the lame April fool's jokes...
This would be exponentially more effective if read with green text on black background. You lazy.
...this is an April Fool's joke?
My phone actually did ring exactly 2 minutes after I read this!
it was my boss wanting a status update. Is this some secret code? What does his call REALLY mean?
My chair doesn't squeak and my monitor is always kept clean. Or perhaps I can just read what's on everybody's screen, don't let the NSA know.
Nope - Gotta take BOTH Red AND Blue pills!
Otherwise the bats will get you!
Phone's quiet all day, I step away from my desk for five minutes, and some idiot calls and doesn't bother to leave a message. I freaking HATE that.
I am NOT going out on the ledge.
I was eating my soup, read this stupid article, and my spoon went away.
I'm going to lean back in my chair and look at my Facebook on the phone, instead. screw the choices.
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
Okay, I admit it, this one made me laugh (mainly because I expected a different direction when reading the headline.)
Blue, red, bleh, I want an orange one, orange sweets are the best.
Waterfox - a Firefox fork with legacy extension support, security updates and better privacy by default.
If the server gets the phone number from the logged in account and makes a call 2 minutes after this story was scrolled to.
If the subject line of this posting appears blank to you, don't worry, it wasn't intended for you anyway.
..also, The Game.
That is all.
Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
b-b-but I took the Blue pill damnit Jim!
Just to be sure, I checked if I had javascript turned off
Ok, read it 09.00 am. It is now 09.04. No phone rang. I don't have all day.
Because it seems /. has full audio ads now, the ones that run irrespective of input. I was looking all around to see if I had opened up some seedy rag like before its news, which does that all the time.. but nope. It was /.