Internet Dating Scams Target Older American Women

HughPickens.com writes: The NYT reports: "Janet N. Cook, a church secretary in Virginia, had been a widow for a decade when she joined an Internet dating site and was quickly overcome by a rush of emails, phone calls and plans for a face-to-face visit. "I'm not stupid, but I was totally naïve," says Cook, now 76, who was swept off her feet by a man who called himself Kelvin Wells and described himself as a middle-aged German businessman looking for someone "confident" and "outspoken" to travel with him to places like Italy, his "dream destination." But very soon he began describing various troubles, including being hospitalized in Ghana, where he had gone on business, and asked Cook to bail him out. In all, she sent him nearly $300,000, as he apparently followed a well-honed script that online criminals use to bilk members of dating sites out of tens of millions of dollars a year."

According to the Times internet scammers are targeting women in their 50s and 60s, often retired and living alone, who say that the email and phone wooing forms a bond that may not be physical but that is intense and enveloping. Between July 1 and Dec. 31, 2014, nearly 6,000 people registered complaints of such confidence fraud with losses of $82.3 million, according to the federal Internet Crime Complaint Center. Older people are ideal targets because they often have accumulated savings over a lifetime, own their homes and are susceptible to being deceived by someone intent on fraud. The digital version of the romance con is now sufficiently widespread that AARP's Fraud Watch Network has urged online dating sites to institute more safeguards to protect against such fraud. The AARP network recommends that dating site members use Google's "search by image" to see if the suitor's picture appears on other sites with different names. If an email from "a potential suitor seems suspicious, cut and paste it into Google and see if the words pop up on any romance scam sites," the network advised. The website romancescams.org lists red flags to look for to identify such predators, who urgently appeal to victims for money to cover financial setbacks like unexpected fines, money lost to robbery or unpaid wages. Most victims say they are embarrassed to admit what happened, and they fear that revealing it will bring derision from their family and friends, who will question their judgment and even their ability to handle their own financial affairs."It makes me sound so stupid, but he would be calling me in the evening and at night. It felt so real. We had plans to go to the Bahamas and to Bermuda together," says Louise Brown. "When I found out it was a scam, I felt so betrayed. I kept it secret from my family for two years, but it's an awful thing to carry around. But later I sent him a message and said I forgave him."

Comments

Internet dating is for cows.

[Anonymous Coward]

You are all cows. Cows say moo. MOOOOOOOO! MOOOOOOO! Moo cows MOOOOOO! Moo say the cows. YOU COWS!!

Re:Internet dating is for cows.

[Mitreya]

Internet dating is for cows. .. Moo say the cows. YOU COWS!!

Indeed -- and anonymously trolling message boards is of course reserved for the highly intelligent and most evolved member of the human race. Thank you, sir.

(I can't believe this got "insightful" moderation already!)

Re:Internet dating is for cows.

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, it's true. Internet dating is for post cock-carousel castoffs. A lot of them are obese. Cow is an apt description.

Re: Internet dating is for cows.

[BarbaraHudson]

Internet dating is for people who don't have the social skills to meet people and engage in more than a nod or good morning in passing. The same people who don't know their next door neighbors and then complain they have nobody to talk to. Getting out and actually doing something, which would help address the problem, is too outside their comfort zone due to lack of practice. I predict a rise in similar scams targeted at the aging male programmer population who think they'll never fall for it.

Re: Internet dating is for cows.

[Pubstar]

I use it because I work really messed up hours, and I barely have any other activities that I do outside of work. I'm not a social shut in, I like to go to electronic music events and festivals, and I meet tons of cool people there, just nobody I would ever find to be dating material.

Hmmm, maybe that is why most women don't hang around when they find out I still like to go out to shows.

Re: Internet dating is for cows.

[mopower70]

Internet dating is for people who don't have the social skills to meet people and engage in more than a nod or good morning in passing. The same people who don't know their next door neighbors and then complain they have nobody to talk to. Getting out and actually doing something, which would help address the problem, is too outside their comfort zone due to lack of practice. I predict a rise in similar scams targeted at the aging male programmer population who think they'll never fall for it.

Your view is painfully naive, shallow, and uninformed. For many people, "getting out and actually doing something" is a pretty crappy way of meeting people to date. If your ideal date is... well... someone just like you, it's fantastic. Otherwise, not so much.

I'm very social as well as involved in my community, but the aspects of community involvement I like as well as most of my hobbies tend to be things other guys like, not other women. Because of my job, I live in primarily family oriented areas where most people are married. I go out a couple times a week and it's always with married couples or just the guys. Single women in my age range are needles in the proverbial haystack.

Internet dating has been a godsend in meeting people in neighboring areas with different interests and different social circles. Internet dating is a tool. It's a shame you feel the need to denigrate others just because you don't know how to use it.

Re:Internet dating is for cows.

[behrooz0az]

Moderating him +1 insightful was the joke(Him failing as a troll as always), you insensitive clod.

Re: Internet dating is for cows.

[Anonymous Coward]

I use it because I work really messed up hours, and I barely have any other activities that I do outside of work. I'm not a social shut in, I like to go to electronic music events and festivals, and I meet tons of cool people there, just nobody I would ever find to be dating material.

I had considered trying it for reasons like this, women who share many of my interests are simply hard to find if you don't already travel in the same circles and when you do come across them they're usually already taken. Plus not everyone wears their interests on the sleeve so you might be running into such people often but it never comes up in conversation, especially if you know them only casually. One good thing about social media is that it has made it easier for like to find like.

Re:Internet dating is for cows.

[buk110]

You are all cows. Cows say moo. MOOOOOOOO! MOOOOOOO! Moo cows MOOOOOO! Moo say the cows. YOU COWS!!

Or it could be that some people don't want to date bar flies or people in their existing social circle. The world is a big place and if there's a tool out there to make the process easier, who cares. I met my wife of several years via online dating. Would I have come across her otherwise? Based on our social circles, the clubs we were in and the places we hung out at - all signs point to no.

Re: Internet dating is for cows.

[Anonymous Coward]

Somehow I expected better from you Barbara. Did you forget that some groups in society don't have the luxury of being able to openly seek a partner without having to worry about ridicule and/or violence? Internet dating can provide a safe(r) way for people to meet, and is immensely helpful for those who are still just a bit nervous about themselves.

American Cougar Association of DICE

[Anonymous Coward]

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Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[BarbaraHudson]

"Not stupid?" To the contrary, extremely stupid. When you want to believe something so badly that you throw all caution to the wind, giving strangers all your money, you are dumb. Not naive. Dumb and desperate. The worst part is that when friends and family point out how its obviously a catfish, the victim turns on them and not the scammer

Re:American Cougar Association of DICE

[Anonymous Coward]

vajazzling jewels.

Well I learned something today.
Thanks ACAD, for your many years of service to the Slashdot Community. I have fond memories of the first time I saw Gay Niggers from Outer Space in my university library. It was disturbing.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[Anonymous Coward]

Your turn will come one day when you have made a terrible mistake. Karma says that when you are tricked and taken, you will get the same sympathy from others as you have given out.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[Anonymous Coward]

But the interesting aspects are the age groups and the sales pitch.

You have young women who also get inundated with messages, but the power differential is reversed, and are more likely to be conning themselves (several beautiful women who have fallen on hard times, and if you could only see your way to some generosity...).

And of course appealing to the vanity of women that some rich businessman is interested in them to lead a jet-setting lifestyle. Interesting that the only description of the man is rich.

Reads like those would-be manipulators got manipulated instead. Not really sympathetic towards them.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[taustin]

And if that happens, I'll deserve the same scorn. Unless the woman is senile (and thus, her caregivers should be prosecuted for allowing this to happen), she is stupid, as the other guy said.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[Anonymous Coward]

She gets my sympathy, and she didn't deserve it, but handing out 300k to a stranger, nay even 1k to a stranger you have never met and only have some chat messages and emails as a basis for knowing is in fact, the absolute definition of cognitive disfunction. The simplest category of cognitive disfunction, without further information, is labeled "stupidity"

Re:American Cougar Association of DICE

[Anonymous Coward]

Been awhile since I've seen a post reminding me of GNAA (thanks /.)

Re:American Cougar Association of DICE

[Pubstar]

I've been meaning to watch that movie because I heard how bad it was. Like a trainwreck happening over the course of 45 minutes.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[Anonymous Coward]

Well she responded to a troll post, and I have no sympathy for that. Laughed out loud actually.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[dryeo]

The problem is that at the beginning of senility, when the person is trying to hide it (from themselves as much as anyone), there are no care givers. My Mom managed to go through a few hundred thousand dollars just before she was diagnosed as senile. Where the money went, we don't know though we have suspicions about her neighbour.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[Kjella]

Your turn will come one day when you have made a terrible mistake. Karma says that when you are tricked and taken, you will get the same sympathy from others as you have given out.

Sounds like acceptable terms to me. Don't get me wrong, I know I've been tricked for hundreds of dollars by a flim-flam artist but even then I got a nice but overpriced suit out of it. Recently I sold a boat and already at thousands of dollars I was thinking this is big money, make sure I don't get scammed or that they're just some mental case with no money. A car for tens of thousands I'd make doubly sure, a house for hundreds of thousands triply sure.

Life is too short to verify everything all the time in the greatest detail possible, sometimes you're taken for a ride, but it has to be proportional to the investment. It's one thing to buy a "Rolex" for $100 where you both know it's not the real thing as opposed to buying a Rolex for $10000 thinking you got a good deal. On a long stretch, maybe I could get talked into paying for a plane ticket to meet though I'd order it myself and not as a cash transfer. But this? No, if I ever get this mentally retarded just put me out of my misery.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[Ol Olsoc]

The problem is that at the beginning of senility, when the person is trying to hide it (from themselves as much as anyone), there are no care givers. My Mom managed to go through a few hundred thousand dollars just before she was diagnosed as senile. Where the money went, we don't know though we have suspicions about her neighbour.

Could have been a church too. I have a few relatives that bypassed their families, and gave their entire estate to some scam-o church. Reverend PeeWee Cutchakockoff needs all the help he can get in doing God's work via his ministry. Daddy needs a new jet too. Praise the Lawd!

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[fyngyrz]

The worst part is that when friends and family point out how its obviously a catfish, the victim turns on them and not the scammer

AFAIAC, the worst part is that these people vote.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[dryeo]

While I'm sure Church scams are common (just have to turn on the TV on Sunday), my Mom was totally non-religious.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[Anonymous Coward]

Could have been a church too. I have a few relatives that bypassed their families,

Bypassing one's family in a last will and testament is not necessarily a mark of senility.

Sometimes it is a mark of sanity.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[bloodhawk]

Could have been a church too. I have a few relatives that bypassed their families,

Bypassing one's family in a last will and testament is not necessarily a mark of senility.

Sometimes it is a mark of sanity.

It is when you replace them with an even more greedy bloodsucking group of people (i.e. a church).

Re:American Cougar Association of DICE

[_merlin]

It's actually amusing. I laughed a few times at the way it parodied dodgy horror movies and fears of homophobes. I mean, come on, they have names like Sgt Shaved Balls and Cpt B. Dick. The representation of oppressive, evil "female creatures" is pretty funny, too.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[ruir]

I agree with you in the bloodsucking part, however you did not get the message. It is when bypassing them is giving them the ultimate middle finger...from the grave. Why do we have to spell it out everything for slashdot people...?...I wonder.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[red crab]

Just older women? Shouldn't older men be easy targets too..but yes perhaps they won't transfer $300,000 for nothing; therein maybe lies a difference.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[drinkypoo]

The problem is that at the beginning of senility, when the person is trying to hide it (from themselves as much as anyone), there are no care givers.

The problem is that there's no middle ground in our system between sane and nutbag, and we as a society tend to treat people who have the least mental deficiency like pets. People with any sort of physical deformity or other handicap are treated at minimum as well as anyone else, but we can still look down on the mentally unwell and infirm and mock them with some impunity.

If we can learn not to dehumanize people with mental problems, maybe they'll stop hiding them.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[Ol Olsoc]

Bypassing one's family in a last will and testament is not necessarily a mark of senility.

Sometimes it is a mark of sanity.

It is when you replace them with an even more greedy bloodsucking group of people (i.e. a church).

I had a rich uncle who managed to control his family and extended family by threatening to take them out of his will. Most KowTowed to his demands - greed is that way. They'd get their reward when he kicked

When he tried to pull that shit with me, I told him to keep his money, I'll make my own.

When he died, he left everything but a pittance for his wife, to an estranged son (no longer estranged, only came back into his life in the last year of his life) who promptly donated it to his church.

That was the bad news. The good news was watching the faces of the people who kissed my uncle's ass for years when the will was read, and then didn't get a dime. In the end, they got their just reward, and so did I.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[fyngyrz]

Did you even read what I wrote? Or was that just a convenient place to hang your remark? If that's the case, never mind, carry on. :)

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[pnutjam]

According to the VA, the proper classification is "mental defective".

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[david_thornley]

As a depressive, I agree with much of what you're saying.

However, I don't know how it applies to this situation. We have a woman with perhaps a touch of senility who throws money at a guy who sounds good. How do we stop her? Either she has control over her own money or she doesn't, and that's where there is no middle ground. If her family (say) wants to restrict her activities, they have to either talk her into it or get a court to declare incompetence.

The guy I know who had major surgery to remove cancer in his hip wound up physically restricted, but nobody was questioning his ability to make decisions for himself. A woman with the beginnings of senility is likely to realize, on some level, that her control over her surroundings is going to go away, and may want to keep that control as long as possible.

Re: American Cougar Association of DICE

[bloodhawk]

There are many organisations far more worthy of the money, I can understand giving family members the finger. But why not do so in a constructive manner, their are good charities and causes out their, no need to flush it down the shitter by giving it to church. Hell I would understand leaving it to a pet dog or cat better than the church,.

Yes, you ARE stupid

[mi]

"I'm not stupid, but I was totally naïve," says Cook, now 76, who was swept off her feet by a man who called himself Kelvin Wells [...] In all, she sent him nearly $300,000

Much as hate to appear victim-blaming, even an utter polyanna-style naïvette would've ended at $3,000. Beyond that, it is stupidity.

"He" (and am not at all sure, there is an identifiable "he" to this scam — more likely a work of an enterprise) is a crook and should be hung alive by his rib on a rusty hook. But, boy, the lady is stupid...

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

[...] a crook and should be hung alive by his rib on a rusty hook.

Most likely a nigger. You can't hang a nigger on a rusty hook, that would be terribly racist. I am logging this incident over your political correctness office. Make sure you verify the race, gender or sexual orientation before calling for violent murder in the future. Some peoples are more equal then the rest.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[gweihir]

While it is not nice, I have to completely agree. This person has lost all reason and all understanding of context there. That is rightfully called "stupid".

This is not a problem the dating-sites can fix. Stupidity carries a price, sometimes a high one. And there is no way to protect those suffering from it except by removing their freedom to act as they see fit. That is of course completely unacceptable.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

Man...all these years I spent working for a living, dealing with ridiculous demands and stress...and I could have just spent a few nights chatting on the phone with old women to be filthy stinking rich.

People turn to crime because it pays.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[nedlohs]

Cognitive decay is part of again (though of course it's not 100% universal). Lots of old people are "stupid" even though they weren't a few years ago. And we do find it acceptable to remove their freedom to act as they see fit - those who get particularly bad tend to have a child (or other trusted person) have power of attorney and essentially make all their important decisions for them.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[twistedcubic]

It may not be as stupid as you think, just naive. She even forgave the scammer, which I believe suggests he provided some great conversation and (fake) friendship. Remember guys, great conversation to women can be as good as a strip tease to men. Also, unless she spent all the money (it doesn't say), $300,000 to a 76 year old is not the same as $300,000 to a 26 year old. Any older person with that much spare money has all their needs taken care of, except for companionship, perhaps. The only obvious losers are her heirs, who should just get jobs anyway.

Re: Yes, you ARE stupid

[sce7mjm]

Unless of course the money that has been scammed away was always been earmarked for long term care. Now it is gone the children will have to make a decision about whether to let their parents have a much lower quality of care than expected or completely change their living arrangements to accommodate them under there supervision. Now Base all this on the lack of trust going forward and you have serious emotional issues for all involved.

I suggest that it is those who have not been involved in this kind of shitstorm that are also naive.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[taustin]

And is this story were about her resenting having a guardian appointed to manager he money, I'd be sympathetic (though I'd have to agree). But it's not. It's about a woman who sent over a quarter of a million dollars to a stranger, and claims not to be stupid.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[drinkypoo]

It may not be as stupid as you think, just naive.

No. Naive would be believing his story in the first place. Stupid is sending him the money. It's just fucking stupid. I can see sending someone a little bit of money, maybe, but not a large amount you can't afford to lose. That is stupid by any rational definition.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

Google this "Brain Scans Reveal Why Love Makes Us Stupid"
it sums it all up as to why the DNA Replication biz is all about.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[unixisc]

Not just that, a person called himself 'Kelvin Wells' and she concluded that he's German just b'cos he told her? Didn't she have any clue about English vs German names? Kelvin Wells is clearly an English name and would have been a native of an English speaking country, like UK, NZ, Australia, South Africa, Canada or US

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”
  Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”
  William Faulkner

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.”
  William G.T. Shedd

“There is no intensity of love or feeling that does not involve the risk of crippling hurt. It is a duty to take this risk, to love and feel without defense or reserve.”
  William S. Burroughs

“If you don't take risks, you'll have a wasted soul.”
  Drew Barrymore

“Never was anything great achieved without danger.”
  Niccolò Machiavelli

“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.”
  Roman Payne

“Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is.”
  Will Rogers

“The question, love, is whether you want me enough to take the risk.”
  Lisa Kleypas, Mine Till Midnight

“True love is taking the risk that it won't be a happily-ever-after. True love is joining hands with the man who loves you for who you are, and saying, "I'm not afraid to believe in you.”
  Cara Lockwood, I Do -- But I Don't

“Love is not something you protect. It’s something you risk.”
  Gayle Forman, Just One Year

“There is no discovery without risk and what you risk reveals what you value.”
  Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body

“Better to put your heart on the line, risk everything, and walk away with nothing than play it safe. Love is a lot of things, but “safe” isn’t one of them.”
  Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

1. Since when is love rational?
2. I wonder how many times she's read a romance story or movie where the plot involves some starred-crossed couple who have to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles before they finally are able to be together. Probably her whole life. Our culture is awash with such stories and thinking as those quotes above demonstrate.
3. The prospect of being alone as you enter in that last part of your life can be utterly terrifying. Your lack of empathy does not reflect well on you.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

Then you are truly a moron and an ass with no understanding of people, and what they do when they're lonely, or how people can prey on that.

But, hey, feel free to be a smug asshole who blames the people this happened to.

I hope one day you get to eat your own words as someone near to you gets ripped off my someone.

And then you can be a smug asshole and tell your own worthless cunt of a mother how she was stupid. Because you deserve to tell your own worthless cunt of a mother how she was stupid.

And then maybe you'll stop being a smug asshole.

I doubt it though. You seem pretty set on begin a smug asshole.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Gavagai80]

Believe it or not, there are a lot of Germans of English descent.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

Coverage of this story is better on SoylentNews. https://www.soylentnews.org/

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[dave420]

It does look a bit dodgy, I agree. I thought the same thing when I read the name. I then looked on the internet, and there is at least one Kelvin Wells living in Germany. Whether he is German or not I don't know, but that seems good enough.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[cusco]

Keep in mind that in the time period she was raised 'trust' was the default in social interactions. My grandfather ended up financing the stocking of a minimarket and never got a penny back in the 1950s. It wasn't until after that experience that he distrusted people asking for money. If she never got ripped off before her scam-o-meter never got recalibrated. Some of these guys are really good too, and remember how many professional investors get taken each year.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[gsslay]

I think you have a very naive idea about the finances of a 76 year old. The money doesn't need to have been 'spare'. That woman could have just lost every penny she has, and has no prospect of earning any more. How is she to support herself for the rest of her life? That could easily be another 20+ years.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

ergo....stupid.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

Have you heard of a small incident that happened in german in about 1938?? Well the upshot of that tiny little mishap was vast swathes of the area having foreign (english and american) military bases being built there to make sure those pesky germans didn't do it again.

Thus, it is completely possible.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

Much as hate to appear victim-blaming.....

That's right up there with saying "I'm not racist, but..."

If you're going to blame the victim, just fucking do it. Don't pretend you aren't doing it. Saying that you're concerned that people might think you're doing exactly what you're doing just makes you sound like a douche.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

Stupid is as stupid does. And damn did you do a stupid thing.

Whenever someone tries to date above their sex rank it opens them up to doing stupid irrational things.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

I dunno, it sounds like she had a full blown long distance relationship with this guy over phone and internet. The elderly are often desperate for attention. I can see how she got pulled in over her head.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[drinkypoo]

Keep in mind that in the time period she was raised 'trust' was the default in social interactions.

That raises the question, were people really more trustworthy then? Or were women simply not permitted to engage in as much economic activity, and consequently not exposed to as many frauds? Now that many more women have their own money, it's become even more worth it to target them — not that romance-related fraud is anything new.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[tlhIngan]

Much as hate to appear victim-blaming, even an utter polyanna-style naÃvette would've ended at $3,000. Beyond that, it is stupidity.

"He" (and am not at all sure, there is an identifiable "he" to this scam â" more likely a work of an enterprise) is a crook and should be hung alive by his rib on a rusty hook. But, boy, the lady is stupid...

Yet people throw billions, if not trillions of dollars away in "gambling" every year.

And we're not talking "let's spend $20 on the slots to pass the time for fun", it's "let's spend $2,000 to turn it into profit". Hence why I said "gambling" and not "gaming" or "entertainment". (If you want to know why slots are called "gaming" machines, that's why - they're for entertainment).

So yeah, that would include a lot of "intelligent" people who play the lotto or go to a casino for anything other than fun. So I guess we're pretty much all stupid because face it, few people actually win. Especially in the end since those that win small usually gamble it away again.

This lady fell for a scammer in the same way billions of people fell for the scan of get-rich-quick.

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[mi]

That raises the question, were people really more trustworthy then? Or were women simply not permitted to engage in as much economic activity, and consequently not exposed to as many frauds?

A read of O'Henry (himself a fraudster) or Jack London reveals plenty of fraud in 19th century America — and plenty of males falling victim to it too.

Was there more of it back then than today is harder to say — literature does not allow for quantitative assessments...

Re:Yes, you ARE stupid

[david_thornley]

I consider "trust" to be the default nowadays. It just works better. Sure, I get scammed for a few bucks sometimes, but it's worth it, and I automatically get suspicious when asked for larger amounts of money.

How weird

[Anonymous Coward]

For $300,000 he could have gone to Italy with her, kept the rest and it wouldn't even have been fraud...

Or, she could have gone to Italy alone and hired a professional gigolo there and it wouldn't have been fraud either.

AFRICANS. Need I say more?

[Anonymous Coward]

Let's let millions of them into our countries, it would be 'racist' not to...

Re:AFRICANS. Need I say more?

[Anonymous Coward]

Not racist to keep them out if you keep out all the whites and browns too. Just say "fuck all foreigners!", and it's no longer racist, just xenophobic.

Re:AFRICANS. Need I say more?

[Anonymous Coward]

Given the current political, social, and economic situation in the USA, what you called 'xenophobic' I call 'reasonable.'

Not 'news'

[nospam007]

That's a long con that has been in existence since the very first newspaper introduced a dating column.

Flimflam people have computers too.

Feminism and man hating means solitude later

[Anonymous Coward]

Feminism, man hating, punitive alimony and many other things done to the men have a cost. And yes, the pill.

A hundred years ago women were living within their families and divorces were rare. They did not have to worry about being targeted. Now larger half of the women in their 40's get single by divorcing their husbands and at some point start appreciating the companionship.

The phenomenon of women being the victims of scams is a rare one. Much more frequent phenomenon is a class of older women who cannot and will not find a male companion later in their lives. Yes, many of them keep telling that they are happy. Down deep many of them know that they failed and it is their fault.

Re:Feminism and man hating means solitude later

[Anonymous Coward]

A hundred years ago women were living within their families and divorces were rare.

They had to live in a family with a husband. The only other option was to live at home with their parents.
Now men and women can live comfortable lives alone, so they do, but then realize that being "forced" together for financial reasons brought human interaction, which is pretty important.

It's just one of those pendulum swings and we're on our way back to the middle.

Re: Feminism and man hating means solitude later

[BarbaraHudson]

Or maybe they have realized that a dog is the only love that money can buy ... same as many men, I suspect.

Location, Location, Location

[SuperKendall]

including being hospitalized in Ghana

EJECT EJECT EJECT

Re:Location, Location, Location

[jcr]

Yeah, it would be far more plausible if he said Chad or Mauritius. Ghana's a dead giveaway.

-jcr

Wall Splat

[Anonymous Coward]

Nothing Compares 2 The Wall:

So sad, so tragic, the inevitable slide into sexual worthlessness that accompanies women, the withering tick tock of the cosmic clock stripping their beauty in flayed bits of soulletting mignons like psychological ling chi. A sadistic thief in the night etching, billowing, draping and sagging a new affront to her most preciously guarded asset. The comfort of her children, if she has them, acting as meager respite from the awful realization that she has been sucked dry of her whimsy and power.

But enough of that merriment. Sinead O’Connor, the Irish singer who ripped up a picture of the Pope and sweetly sang a remake of a Prince ballad, and who was, not so long ago despite the shock of her change in appearance, cute enough to bang even with her boyishly short hairstyle, has hit the wall hard enough to cause even Wile E. Coyote to wince in pain.
..
Pixie? No. Not anymore. BIXIE.

Some of you tenderhearted sorts might be tempted to ask why I am torturing a poor woman who has to endure pain enough ensconced in her deteriorating shell. Steady on, bugle boys. I might have a sadistic streak, but I don’t select my targets without some justification which makes the torture that much more pleasurable to inflict. Good old Sinead, fat and unhappy, has an internet blog, of all things!, wherein she laments her lack of a sex life and basically puts out a personal ad for a man to come rescue her from her celibate dreariness. The incomprehensible catch? She makes a list of demands for the type of man she wants....

Everything in the moral zeitgeist burns the youthful fertility of woman in a turbocharged drag race toward a childless impact with The Wall. And then what does the moral zeitgeist offer them as their guts run down the glass?

Dating cons.

Where do these old people get so much money?

[Anonymous Coward]

I hope to christ i have 300 grand to fritter away when i'm in my 70s

Re:Where do these old people get so much money?

[Anonymous Coward]

Just out of curiosity, what are you planning on living on when you are in your 70's? Hint: 300,000 won't do it.

Re: Where do these old people get so much money?

[Anonymous Coward]

It's called compound interest, and if you're an adult and don't know what it is, it's already too late for you to make that much use of it.

Re:Where do these old people get so much money?

[Anonymous Coward]

300k isn't all that much as life savings go at age 70. If you save $1.9k a year from age 25 to age 70 at 5% inflation-adjusted return, you'll have 300k. If you're saving the suggested 15% for retirement, $2.3k implies $13k total income. The median household income is $50k. If you save 15% of that per year for 45 years at 5% inflation-adjusted return, you'll end up with $1.2 million (that's after correcting for inflation). The median software enginner income is $92,660, which would turn into $2.4 million. 15% is just the recommendation, and not a particularly high savings rate, too.

(yes, this is a bit off because people don't make the median throughout their career. This does demonstrate that there's no reason you wouldn't have $300k at age 70 if you continue to work to that age, and you should likely have more than that.)

Re:Where do these old people get so much money?

[Anonymous Coward]

That's under $4000 year for 30 years at 6%.

You'll need more than $300,000 due to inflation. $6,000 for 30 years at 6% would probably do it.

Each year just put $6,000 into a balanced mixture of large, small, and targeted etf or mutual funds.

Re:Where do these old people get so much money?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, I'm in my late 30's and I've got 300k in my retirement account already. Typically made about 50k a year (60k tops with overtime), and had quite a few years living off savings (cumulative in-between time, going back to school).

My Dad's got something like a million-and-a-half in his account, and he's not even retired yet. That being said, the money has to last a long time, there is quite a bit of variability in how long people live. You could die the weekend of your retirement, or live till 98 like my grandpa did.

Re:Where do these old people get so much money?

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm 40 and I've got close to 300k in retirement right now. And the thing is, I feel like I was late to the game, because I made a bunch of mistakes in my 20's and didn't really even start to get things together until I was 30. I expect I'll need at least a couple of million in the bank to retire. Ideally I'd have three million if I retire early (60) but two million may be enough if I work until I'm closer to 70. Most of my grandparents have lived into their 90's, so there's no way I could live for multiple decades on just $300k, especially with another 30 years of inflation between now and then.

Re:Where do these old people get so much money?

[david_thornley]

There's other things to live on. I'm eligible for Social Security and a small pension, which should supplement my retirement savings nicely.

We need BETTER laws!

[angel'o'sphere]

Erm, americans, that is!

I guess 10-20 years in prisson is the right penalty! Or death penalty! After all wistle blowers and some script kiddies are threatened the same! ...

unsupported assertion about women targeted

[Anonymous Coward]

The following quote is the only part of the TFA that specifically mentions that older women are being targeted by romance scammers.

Many of those targeted are women, especially women in their 50s and 60s, often retired and living alone, who say that the email and phone wooing forms a bond that may not be physical but that is intense and enveloping. How many people are snared by Internet romance fraud is unclear...

The rest of article, aside from the quotes from women who've been scammed, deals with victims in the general sense, not specifically women. No statistics are given at all about the demographics of people who have been scammed, just that "many" of the targeted are older women (well, duh. Older folk in general are most often the targets of swindlers).

It could be that older women are targeted more, but I doubt its by a substantial amount. Who knows? There's no stats quoted in teh article. A better article would put forward the premise that "Internet Dating Scams Target Older Folk" and leave the gender specific angle out of it.

Re:unsupported assertion about women targeted

[KGIII]

You RTFA? You and your kind are unwelcome here. *spits on floor*

Re: unsupported assertion about women targeted

[Anonymous Coward]

"American" is the key term, aling with product of the failed 80's feminism creating a lot of single women (aka lonely).

Of course you are

[MikeRT]

"I'm not stupid, but I was totally naïve,"

Naive is believing that a German businessman who travels to locales like Ghana would describe traveling to Italy as his dream destination, like it's something to aspire to as an adventure, when it's about like driving from Florida to Pennsylvania in distance. Stupid is when you believe that this man could rack up a bill in Ghana that would be a major medical scandal in the US (where hospitals don't even blink at bilking people in many areas) and then blindly start throwing that much money at him.

Re:Of course you are

[Anonymous Coward]

it's about like driving from Florida to Pennsylvania in distance

Wow I didn't realize Ghana and Italy were so close.

Re:Of course you are

[tomhath]

Germany and Italy. Just a short train trip apart.

Re:Of course you are

[bloodhawk]

you can drive the distance in half a day from Germany to Italy, why would somewhere that you can easily hop in your car in the morning and be there in the afternoon be a dream destination, especially for a so called world traveller

Re:Of course you are

[Anonymous Coward]

She's in her mid 70's, old people are generally stupid at that age. That's why QVC thrives.

Re:Of course you are

[OneSmartFellow]

Made me spit out my coffee !

Well played, sir !

Re:Of course you are

[Anonymous Coward]

You clearly never have been in Italy ;)

Re:Of course you are

[OneSmartFellow]

If you live in the village of Mittenwald, Germany you can drive to Brennero, Italy in an hour.

Stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

Hint #1
If the person you are talking to changes their location to somewhere in West Africa IT'S A SCAM

Hint #2
If the person you are talking to asks for money IT'S A SCAM

Hey Lady, just go to church and meet a nice fella

[Swave An deBwoner]

Ironically, Ms Cook is "a church secretary".

Now where do those "how to meet a man" articles always tell you to look for your true love? Right you are: on the Internet :-)

Err, I need some help from the scammers

[Anonymous Coward]

At least the know how of being able to woo a lady...
Man, I am 30 and still not even a girlfriend.

Re: Err, I need some help from the scammers

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't worry, plenty of others are worse off than yourself. I broke up with my last girlfriend when I was 29. I'm now 38 and have not had a girlfriend since. Every girl I've asked out since her has said no. I have absolutely no idea what my problem is. Plenty of decent girls are like "you're attractive, well off, why aren't you married yet?" Yet, if I were to ask them out I'd be flat out rejected. Always for some bizarre reason. Then separately, a (very) famous attractive Hollywood actress and I had a fun night together. Yet I'm hopelessly single as can be.

Re: Err, I need some help from the scammers

[seanvaandering]

Maybe you should stop asking for anal on the first date? I know.. it's tough.. but you can do it! ;)

Re: Err, I need some help from the scammers

[Pubstar]

If you cant get anal on the first date, what is the point of sticking around?

Re: Err, I need some help from the scammers

[ruir]

Think of all the money you saved. Buy I suspect your problem is that your are chasing women out of your league, and only from a single paragraph.

Re: Err, I need some help from the scammers

[Anonymous Coward]

If you cant get anal on the first date, what is the point of sticking around?

Getting it again on the 2nd, 3rd, 4th? If you have an easy source might as well enjoy it for a while.

Unless you can magically get it on the 1st date every time.

Re: Err, I need some help from the scammers

[tehcyder]

a (very) famous attractive Hollywood actress and I had a fun night together

You stayed in alone with a bottle of cheap vodka and watched one of her films on Netflix, you mean?

Old people are more susceptible to scams

[bangular]

Old people in general are more susceptible to scams. I remember a story awhile back that a university professor fell for a dating scam where someone pretended to be a model. He was an accomplished physicist. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03...

I'm not sure what to do with that information, but this lady wasn't an isolated incident. The entire population of old people as a whole are more susceptible.

Re:Old people are more susceptible to scams

[Anonymous Coward]

I speculate that a few factors combine to make them more susceptible:

1) Age-related cognitive decline. It is a realty, and one well-worth hating. People who experience this often don't realize it (they aren't in a position to be objective about it), and have some pride blocking them from admitting it (after all, they have a lot of success showing just how smart they are!).

2) Lonliness. The young-and-attractive simply do not experience this like the elderly do. Even people who have spent their lives single, by their own choice, have enough social interaction with the other gender to not really feel the sting of lonliness. On top of that, the age-related cognitive decline can include the reduction of the neurological barriers that help people turn the volume down on these negative emotions....making them even worse. These emotions don't just feel bad...they are strong enough to hijack the reasoning process, making people cognitively incapable of thinking straight.

3) Existential crisis. We all know we are going to die...but the reality of that is an abstract far-away eventuality for most of our lives. Once you retire, however, and have more time to sit around and think, the reality of this starts really closing in on you. It can create a lot of anxiety and depression, which makes people flail about emotionally...reaching out to anything they can hold on to.

It is easy for us young, socially-involved, job-having types to get derisive when old people do things that are this wildly stupid. It isn't entirely warranted, however, as the brain does wear out eventually....and yours will too.

Re: Old people are more susceptible to scams

[guruevi]

In the end, most relationships are either scams or based on scams. If you were fully honest during dating, you wouldn't get very far.

People have been married to scam artists, more people than would dare admit. I got married in a whirlwind romance with someone half a world away and divorced 2 years later, in the end all I wonder is whether that person didn't just marry me in order to travel where we decided to live. That or to get away from oppressive religious restrictions on sex.

In the end the only difference is that she never met the guy and/or had sex.

Re:Old people are more susceptible to scams

[Trepidity]

I'd also hypothesize just lack of familiarity with some of the common scams, due to not being involved in a community or social setting where you'd run across them and learn about them. I recognize typical internet scams because I grew up on the internet and spend a lot of time there. At a glance I can recognize a lot of scams and even tell you which ones they are (many have names). My parents have more difficulty detecting obvious internet scams, and when they do it usually takes them more effort. They have to actually think through what might be going on, what the motivations would be, etc., whereas I recognize them by pattern-matching.

Re:Old people are more susceptible to scams

[cusco]

Two or three years ago a 30-something year old friend of my wife was all ready to give her bank account info to a Nigerian prince. Hotmail's filter finally failed her that one time, and she'd never seen that particular scam before. Novelty can be powerful, especially when combined with greed.

Re:Old people are more susceptible to scams

[strikethree]

I grew up way before the Internet became a reality to the wide world. Scams are scams. "On the internet" is not enough to garner a patent, it is not enough to garner a new name for an old art: Scam.

If you can fall for a scam on the Internet, you can fall for one through plain old snail mail. The Internet just makes communications quicker and exposure more likely.

Re:Old people are more susceptible to scams

[david_thornley]

Yes, it is enough to garner a new name. "Spanish Prisoner" has become "Nigerian Prince".

I been waiting 20 years for that girl

[FudRucker]

to get her from the Soviet Union, i ordered her on my new Windows 95 computer for 20 dollars, she said she was packing her bags and catching the next steam ship to america, i hope she hurries up because i am sure getting tired of waiting

Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[ErichTheRed]

I just turned 40 and am a happily married guy, so I haven't been "on the market" lately. But, I do know a lot of people, men and women, who are increasingly desperate and affected with the "urge to merge." $300K is excessive, and I think most reasonable people would have seen the light sooner. But I can definitely see this demographic being a good target for con artists. This guy even pushed the Italy button -- what lovesick middle aged woman doesn't dream of some crazy Tuscan romance fantasy?

That said, things are different now and it is harder for older people to find suitable partners -- they're fishing in a dwindling pool full of:
- Unpleasant, bitter divorcees who have had their personalities permanently ruined
- The unmarryable -- men and women -- who haven't been able to attract anyone due to serious flaws of one kind or another
- The permanently single -- aka the creepy 55 year old guy still hitting on women in the bar with no intention of settling down or even being honest

Every woman around my age mentions this as their problem. Some might say they're being too picky, but I definitely see their point. If your choices are limited, and someone suddenly comes along who isn't a player, doesn't live in Mom's basement, and isn't an RMS clone, I could see being very vulnerable.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Krishnoid]

This guy even pushed the Italy button -- what lovesick middle aged woman doesn't dream of some crazy Tuscan romance fantasy?

Or, not even middle-aged, if you're willing to stretch your imagination a little.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Krishnoid]

and isn't an RMS clone

Strangely enough, she may have been safer with someone like that.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Anonymous Coward]

There's also the large and growing contingent of American men who are just fed up with American women. The simple fact is, almost everywhere else in the world, women will at least put some effort into staying in shape and treating men as worthwhile human beings. In the USA, they get all indignant about the fact that I don't want to fuck a bitter, cynical broad who outweighs me.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[murdocj]

You're meeting the wrong women. Try being more selective.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Anonymous Coward]

In the USA, they get all indignant about the fact that I don't want to fuck a bitter, cynical broad who outweighs me.

"I said NO, mom. Leave it at that."

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Anonymous Coward]

Not the original AC, but:

You're meeting the wrong women. Try being more selective.

I am being selective. Hence the reason that I won't settle for the unpleasant, bitter divorcee, the unmarryable, or the permanently single. Yeah, it can get lonely out there. So what's your strategy?

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[epyT-R]

This isn't a case of a few tainted apples. This is a case of a contaminated orchard.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[TykeClone]

That said, things are different now and it is harder for older people to find suitable partners -- they're fishing in a dwindling pool full of: - Unpleasant, bitter divorcees who have had their personalities permanently ruined - The unmarryable -- men and women -- who haven't been able to attract anyone due to serious flaws of one kind or another - The permanently single -- aka the creepy 55 year old guy still hitting on women in the bar with no intention of settling down or even being honest

They should be hunting widowers.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Anonymous Coward]

Every woman around my age mentions this as their problem.

And what's wrong with all these women? They shouldn't expect to find the perfect mate if they're not the perfect counter point.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Anonymous Coward]

please, he'd open source all her software copywrites within a week.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[goose-incarnated]

Every woman around my age mentions this as their problem. Some might say they're being too picky,

It is a problem, and they *are* being too picky. Men's desirability rises over time[1] while women's drop. A 45yo man has no problem hooking up either temporarily or permanently with a 30yo woman. As long as he was employed continuously over his lifetime he has acquired those items that make men attractive (money, power, owned house, etc).

A 45yo women, OTOH, has *lost* those items that made her attractive (youth, beauty). So answer me this: why the hell would a 45yo man hook up with a 45yo woman when he has the opportunity to hook up with a 30-35yo?. A woman at 45 will probably have to settle for a man of 60 - she's still desirablecompared to him.

[1] up to around age 55-60. At which point it stabilises, then drops slowly.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[ruir]

What wrong women? Nowadays when you visit the USA or lately the UK, it seems you are swimming in a sea full of whales. Been out of home lately?

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[ruir]

Amen brother. The problem is that most women, despite being a nut job and fat, want the perfect male.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[ruir]

Your forgot the feminist and the cynic, and the later seems to get increased with age.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[ruir]

A woman at 45 in the USA will have got the assets of her ex....no beauty but money.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[dave420]

You sound single.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[goose-incarnated]

A woman at 45 in the USA will have got the assets of her ex....no beauty but money.

And she will soon learn all about the evaporative effects of inflation - people who have not earned money tend to lose it. Those who have earned money but lost it will earn it again. I've been through the divorce, and 8 years later I'm richer than my ex even though she got everything,

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[ruir]

I am not, but I have an ex who fits the previous description.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Anonymous Coward]

Every woman around my age mentions this as their problem. Some might say they're being too picky,

It is a problem, and they *are* being too picky. Men's desirability rises over time[1] while women's drop. A 45yo man has no problem hooking up either temporarily or permanently with a 30yo woman. As long as he was employed continuously over his lifetime he has acquired those items that make men attractive (money, power, owned house, etc).

Even before 45 there is some truth to this. When I hit 30 it's like a lever was pulled somewhere and suddenly I had options when it came to women and could easily turn them down with no worries about when another interested one would show up.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[cayenne8]

The permanently single -- aka the creepy 55 year old guy still hitting on women in the bar with no intention of settling down or even being honest

Aside from the parts about not being honest, you seem to turn your nose up at the concept of someone not wanting to marry and to have new and exciting experiences with different women over their lives.

Why is a guy 55 with no intentions of marrying or "settling down" creepy to use your term?

If a guy settles down he ceases to be creepy? Why?

Honestly, at age 50+ it is a GREAT time to be a single man and still hunting women. If you're gunning for women in your own age group, the good thing is, their kids are pretty much GROWN and out of the house and not a drag on you or the relationship. You also have a good job, and disposable income (both of you do) which is nice and so finances aren't that big a strain on the dating or even relationship if it happens.

At this age, you are both usually more able to travel and experience fun things.

If you're hunting for the younger ladies, well, again...your more mature, fiscally established and know what your doing in life, can be more confident and all which does make you more attractive to a large swath of women out there.

Again, not talking about being dishonest, but I'm puzzled why you have the notion that "no intention of settling down" is synonymous with "creepy".

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Joey Vegetables]

Maybe you hang around the wrong kind of women. Sure, appearance may fade with age, but that is, quite literally, only the surface of that which makes any woman attractive. There is so much more underneath, for those who care enough to look.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[drinkypoo]

Why is a guy 55 with no intentions of marrying or "settling down" creepy to use your term?

I was annoyed by that sentence too, but I agreed with the last part — at least being honest. What's funny is that a percentage of women are definitely interested in someone who is not interested in settling down, and a further percentage who will attempt to change their minds. When I lived in Austin, I represented myself honestly as someone who was still trying to work out some relationship issues, and just couldn't see myself in a long-term relationship. In spite of that, and a ridiculously expanded waistline (I am vulnerable to Southern foods, like Kryptonite for Superman) I seldom wanted for intimate female company, much of which was (in my opinion) well beyond my league. I wasn't buying gifts, although I was paying for some dinners, which was frankly my pleasure.

There's just no need to misrepresent yourself to get laid, though I will say, it's more tempting in California. Ugh. This place is shallow AF.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[goose-incarnated]

Maybe you hang around the wrong kind of women. Sure, appearance may fade with age, but that is, quite literally, only the surface of that which makes any woman attractive. There is so much more underneath, for those who care enough to look.

You are working on the incorrect assumption that a young and beautiful woman has nothing substantial underneath the beauty. Depth and beauty are not mutually exclusive. Why bother with a less attractive older lady when I can easily get the same benefits from a younger attractive woman and have the bonus of having an attractive partner?

Less attractive members of both sexes have to work harder to attract a potential mate, Just as older women have to provide something more than depth to compensate for lack of desirability, men without money and/or power will have to provide more than depth to compensate for their lack of desirability.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Chelloveck]

Men's desirability rises over time[1] ...

[1] up to around age 55-60. At which point it stabilises, then drops slowly.

That's right, ladies, you heard him. I'm nearing peak desirability! Queue forms to the left. No pushing or shoving please, there's plenty of me to go around.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Anonymous Coward]

And unless someone's looking for a sugar momma he won't care how much money an ugly woman has.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[Joey Vegetables]

I could not possibly be working from that assumption, because I'm blessed to be married to exactly such a woman, who is beautiful both inside and out. I know one day her outer beauty may fade (though probably not for a while - her mom is beautiful as well). But if it is doing so now, it is doing so imperceptibly, whereas her inner beauty . . her kindness and thoughtfulness and strength and intelligence and many other insanely wonderful qualities . . . continue to impress me more and more, each and every time we manage to spend time together. I am sure that sooner or later she will get sick of me and ditch me for someone better, but there is *zero* chance I would ever want to leave her or to want anyone else. She is that wonderful.

Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too

[goose-incarnated]

I could not possibly be working from that assumption, because I'm blessed to be married to exactly such a woman, who is beautiful both inside and out. I know one day her outer beauty may fade (though probably not for a while - her mom is beautiful as well). But if it is doing so now, it is doing so imperceptibly, whereas her inner beauty . . her kindness and thoughtfulness and strength and intelligence and many other insanely wonderful qualities . . . continue to impress me more and more, each and every time we manage to spend time together. I am sure that sooner or later she will get sick of me and ditch me for someone better, but there is *zero* chance I would ever want to leave her or to want anyone else. She is that wonderful.

That's a totally different proposition - if you are already with someone you are happy with then what she looks like probably makes no difference to how you feel about her. I know this, because I'm married too.

The post I responded was not about how women feel about their current partner. Specifically, it was about how women over 40 have limited choices. TBH, an over 40 women who is looking will have to drastically lower her expectations - she cannot be as picky as a 25 year old. She will have to settle for less than what she would have accepted even ten years ago. Men do not have this problem at 40. It appears much later in life for men, sometimes not at all if the man can keep what he earned throughout his life. The characteristics that make a man desirable as a mate are not the same that make a woman desirable as a mate.

82 million!? 6k women!?

[Anonymous Coward]

That's nearly $14k per woman/victim. Where do I get me a cougar sugar momma?

Re:82 million!? 6k women!?

[KGIII]

I have an old college "buddy" who actually dropped out but managed to still live on campus for quite some time and then managed to stay in a frat house for even longer. He was the ass that always showed up when we were drinking and, of course, made an ass out of himself. He is my age and still happily scamming gay men. It seems they are another vulnerable target. He does not work as far as I know. I get the occasional email or phone call and I am polite enough to accept the calls. Mostly I think it is morbid fascination as I expect someone to kill him in a rage or to hear of him getting locked up for a very long time.

Not cool

[Etherwalk]

That's nearly $14k per woman/victim. Where do I get me a cougar sugar momma?

Fuck you you piece of shit. That is exactly the thinking that leads people to do this, and to engage in human trafficking, gun-running, etc...

Humans are great at rationalizing crime. "Of course it's too bad these people are getting taken advantage of by me," they say, "but it's not like there's a better option."

Re:Not cool

[seanvaandering]

Oh please. If you can't detect the sarcasm in his statement, you need to put the keyboard down and walk away for a bit. Most people would rather rip others off than do the right thing, in your mind anyways. That's complete horseshit.

Re:Not cool

[Etherwalk]

You are assuming sarcasm. I don't hear genuine sarcasm so much as ignorant making-light-of-evil because I hear people rationalize this kind of behavior. It is how modern-day slavery, gun-running, and old-people scams continue to happen. So if I don't hear OP as sarcasm, it's because it usually *isn't sarcasm,* and being sarcastic about it is ignorant.

Old Story

[Foobar of Borg]

It seems like thesekind of people are still alive and well.

It goes both ways

[Anonymous Coward]

Seriously, these scams go both ways. I just heard a 27 year old man talking to my 14 year old on Skype, with the speakers on, saying that "Ohh, you wanted to go to that Anime con in Indiana? I'd cover that!"

I had to have a long talk with her about what exactly was going on, where she sais "I know him" and I had to point out "I don't". The scam of "sex for money" goes both ways: I'm not sure which of them was proposing what, and I *don't care*, it was an obvious older guy funding out of state hobbies for an underage girl.

Re:It goes both ways

[Anonymous Coward]

Oops, my bad.

She said she was 18!

I didn't know it was loaded!

Re:It goes both ways

[epyT-R]

I hope you said more than "I don't" and explained the threat in terms she could relate to as well. "Because I'm the parent" does not go over well. In fact, it may make her angry enough to go anyway, just to spite you. Don't chase her into his arms.

Where are these women?

[Beardo the Bearded]

As a single guy in my late 30s, I would bang a 70-year old if I got 300k a year for it.

Re:Where are these women?

[Anonymous Coward]

As a single guy in my late 30s, I would bang a 70-year old if I got 300k a year for it.

Just sayin'

Re:Where are these women?

[Anonymous Coward]

As a single guy in my late 30s, I would bang a 70-year old if I got 300k a year for it.

I'm a single guy in my late 70s. I'd bang a 30 year old if I got $3 a year for it

Re:Where are these women?

[Anonymous Coward]

As a single guy in my late 30s, I would bang a 70-year old if I got 300k a year for it.

I wouldn't, but of course I have standards.

Re:Hey Lady, just go to church and meet a nice fel

[unixisc]

Couldn't she have used match.com? eharmony? Any number of other dating sites?

Meanwhile, dating scams targeting men...

[balaam's ass]

Meanwhile, internet dating scams targeting men have always existed, but don't seem to garner nearly the same media attention as those targeting women. Maybe because people just accept it as part of the 'reality of the internet'?
[Single photo of extremely attractive woman, poor use of English, etc, etc]..

One could argue that online dating sites themselves are scams targeting men, given the unfavorable gender-ratios involved.

Re:Meanwhile, dating scams targeting men...

[Anonymous Coward]

As if anyone is shocked by the disparity.

If you are a woman taken in by a con man, PUA, etc., he manipulated and used you. He is a sociopath. A misogynist.

If you are a man taken in by a pretty face, well you should have known better. You were thinking with your johnson. And not all women are like that.

Re:Meanwhile, dating scams targeting men...

[radarskiy]

"don't seem to garner nearly the same media attention as those targeting women"

Here is *one* story of women being targeted. The only way there could be fewer stories about men is if there had never been any at all.

Re:Meanwhile, dating scams targeting men...

[ruir]

You could argue? You are fucking kidding me. Try to subscribe one within the experimental period, and you will see how soon someone "in your area" talks to you, just to get you as a paid customer. You know, there are people paid to do that, some people even reported some of these people even attended first meetings as cover. This comment must be very naive indeed.

Re:Meanwhile, dating scams targeting men...

[Anonymous Coward]

Noone cares about the scammers targeting them because they are perceived as being old white men. Old white men need to die because they are not racially and sexually diverse. Society only cares about you if you are perceived to be one of the disadvantaged minority classes. Gee I wish I was a minority then society would care about me. Time to cut off my penis and become a 60 year old African American women..

Re:Meanwhile, dating scams targeting men...

[Anonymous Coward]

given the unfavorable gender-ratios involved.

Not that my anecdote means much, but I'm a mid-40's single man that has been a member of some singles-interest groups on social media. Not anything kinky, just a group to meet and socialize with like-minded/like-situationed people. In fact, I've been roped into an admin role for some.

These groups just teem with the typical 45-100 y.o., divorced-with-kids type woman - much more than men (of any persuasion, which seem much more spread-out in terms of age, relationship status, kids, etc.). Social media gives one less possibilities for fake profiles than dating sites, and we generally do not join as members profiles that are very terse on "real life" details - e.g. obvious fake names, no photos or photos that belong to some obscure small-time celeb (easily found via google image search), no friends, no activity, no comments or posts from obvious friends (as opposed to baited admirers, which are more shallow and mostly concentrating on the profile's appearance), etc. It's also fairly hard for a fake profile to attend a bar/coffee shop/BBQ/club group meeting in person, of which some are organized occasionally...

I would imagine that dating sites have a similar allure for that demographic due to the need for companionship. (Then again, this may differ in other localities, and the demographic might not be every male's cup of tea....)

I've also been approached by a number of early-twenties type females. The childish clumsiness is of course quite endearing, but the almost aggressive clingyness accompanying it fairly off-putting. So there is another very naive demographic, unfortunately not always with 300 grand lying around. But for romantic purposes I personally prefer them a little bit more mature and grown-up.

Unfortunately it seems that women in the 30-40 range without dependents are seriously under-supplied. In my experience, they are (still) happily married and raising a young family.

Re:Meanwhile, dating scams targeting men...

[Anonymous Coward]

To some degree, one of the key differences is that the scam is legal for women, if they follow the rules.

Cousin of mine met a smart, attractive young lady in Shanghai. They married after a whirlwind romance after only a few months. He brings her back to the U.S., and right after her green card gets approved, she divorces him and takes half his assets (bought a house in a community-property state). Perfectly legal.

Re:Hey Lady, just go to church and meet a nice fel

[Swave An deBwoner]

They don't say which "Internet dating site" she used but another victim did indeed meet her con-artist (or perhaps it was a group of con-artists) through Match.com:

Then in 2012, on Match.com, she met a man who called himself Thomas. He said he was a road contractor in Maine and was about to leave for a business venture in Malaysia.

Any suggestions?

[Anonymous Coward]

I am still young and shrewd. But I have been single all my life and no kids, with no prospects (I am not an asshole, just plain-looking, bad at romance, frustrated with the singles I have met, and emotionally capable of being alone).

So...when senility starts to kick in for me....who can I trust to manage my affairs? I have many friends, and a few close friends, who are in the same boat as I am. I can't rely on them though, as they will become senile at about the same time I will. Where do I find non-senile and shrewd people that I can actually trust to put my needs first when deciding how to spend my money for me?

Re: Any suggestions?

[Anonymous Coward]

You hire a lawyer. Sad but true.

Re:Any suggestions?

[pnutjam]

Extended family, maybe there is a cousin or child of a close friend. You have to make an effort to maintain a relationship, but you should find people you can trust, stay in touch, broach the uncomfortable conversations, and make legal preperations..

Even children and relatives can't all be trusted. My wife's parents always wanted her to manage their healthcare and financial concerns as the aged, but they did little pre-planning and when it came down to it, there was too much opportunity for her older siblings to step in and strip their assets.
They are not in a terrible situation, but had they been willing to accept a small amount of help earlier, and address legal issues we brought up, they would be in a much better place.

So what?

[Anonymous Coward]

Who the fuck cares that the dumb bitch sends complete strangers money and then complains. Fuck her.

Targeting the most vulnerable group

[Anonymous Coward]

So what does this say about our society that there are troves of older lonely American women. I'd say it means that it means we are fed unrealistic expectations about relationship and marriage prospects. A Cinderella fantasy causes a girl to squander her youth and good looks. If she finally "settles" for a man who is merely her equal, she feels shortchanged. The ones who are left alone are still so easily lured into the fairy tale fantasy that this has become a treasure trove for fraudsters. So in a nutshell, because of unrealistic expectations, American women have made themselves a bad long term investment, and the only ones who are interested in investing are the scammers or the stupid.

"Ability to handle their own financial affairs"

[Anonymous Coward]

> Most victims say they are embarrassed to admit what happened, and they fear that revealing it will bring derision from their family and friends, who will question their judgment and even their ability to handle their own financial affairs.

Far be it from me to criticize mentally frail senior citizens, but doesn't sending $300,000 to some random scammer absolutely prove an abundant lack of ability to handle one's own financial affairs?

LOL Italy?

[Anonymous Coward]

Italy? "Dream vacation"? Seriously, have you ever been there? Everything's filthy, prices are outrageous, service is crap and it's chock-full of shit niggers pissing and shitting everywhere. Italy is a shithole. Only stupid Americans who have only seen it in movies and TV shows with Croatian towns doubling as Italian could be fooled into spending money there. You want the same experience? Get to the worst area of your city and stroll about for a while, preferably under the sun. Then come home sweating like a pig after being almost mugged by a dozen shit niggers (if you're lucky). Then check some pretty pictures of art stuff on the Net. And that's the whole Italy experience for you.

Re:LOL Italy?

[ruir]

Actually you are talking about my worst nightmare. My wife is talking about going on their dream holiday, and I really do not want to be anywhere near Italy.

Re:LOL Italy?

[neminem]

Yes, I have been there. I was there last year on honeymoon, Rome, Venice and Florence, all three of which are now among my favorite cities I've been. I didn't feel even remotely threatened a single time by anyone in any of those places. Well, except by drivers; drivers in Rome have zero concern for pedestrians (and vice versa). But I didn't feel *intentionally* threatened by anyone, anyway (did run into several tourist scammers, but they were easy enough to ignore). Didn't feel like prices of anything were unreasonable, either (except hotels in Rome, but I think we just got unlucky, picked a weekend without realizing it until too late that everyone had hiked up prices of hotels because something big was going on that weekend in the Vatican.) And if you don't want it to be stupid hot, just don't go in the summer. May, when we were there, was perfect.

That said, your description, minus the completely unnecessary racial epithets that mark you as an obvious troll, do sound quite a bit more like parts of the the Greece component of that vacation. So much poorer, dirtier, the tourist parts were way touristier, a lot (though by no means everything, you just had to know how to avoid the touristy crap) was overpriced, and we did actually feel a bit unsafe once, but it wasn't from a black person. Much the opposite, in fact: was from someone we were about 90% sure was a neonazi.

Definition: Stupid

[OneSmartFellow]

"lacking intelligence or common sense."

It is definitely common sense not to send $300,000 to a person one has never met face-to-face who claims to be taken ill in Ghana.

Sorry, that is almost a textbook example of lack of common sense, and therefore qualifies as S T U P I D

Tried this on me once...

[Kiyyik]

...it was a couple years back. Met this girl online, real nice, pretty photo, all that jazz. She got real close real quick--quick enough that I started doing a little research on the side. Like when she said her brother had died of cancer, and the only person I could find with that name had died in a drive-by. Then she lowered the boom: she was stuck in a hotel in London, her finances from the family business had some sort of snarl-up, and she couldn't leave until she got money to pay the bill.

A-ha.

I played ignorant at first, not quite taking the hint when she asked for help. When she gave up on subtlety, I plead poverty, but wished her all the luck in the world and told her to get in touch once she got out of there.

Never heard back. Funny thing, that.

Meh!

[Anonymous Coward]

Women have to decide if they want to be either Adults or large children . If the former they have to own up to their mistakes like the rest of us.

How to the the agencies on this

[iTrawl]

To get the NSA, CIA, XXX and others on this, all one has to do is say the magic words: This is how the Islamic State, Boko Haram, Al Qaeda are funded.

OK, now that it's not longer just fraud, but terrorism, maybe somebody will go single payer on these guys.

Emotional attachment

[Anonymous Coward]

The last line in the summary is powerful
"But later I sent him a message and said I forgave him"

I witnessed a check cashing "room mate" deposit scam happening before. A lady I don't really know was on the phone in our van pool talking to her bank trying to setup a wire transfer to someone that she was considering as a room mate. The bank would not do it unless she went to a branch office. She was frustrated and explaining to CS person the urgency with getting that wire transfer done. After she hung up I really wanted not to get involved but it was hard not too. I eventually apologized for listening and asked her if this person sent her a check for more than what she asked for and was she taking a cut and sending the remaining money back, she said yes, how did you know.

I spent 15 minutes trying to explain to her in a the most non demeaning and nice way I could she was about to be fucked over. She would not believe me, mentioned that she has been emailing this person back and forth for 2 months and that person need the wire transfer to get her stuff out of storage before she can move in and so on. She was flying in next week to actually move in and waiting for this wire transfer etc..
As I dug deeper, she finally started to piece the things together and realize I might be right. She said, I feel like going to the airport next week when she gets her and telling her off. In a nice way I said, you can try that but doubt anyone is actually even flying here. That is when it sank in for her.

This is news because...

[Anonymous Coward]

It is a case of dog bites man.