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Filmmaker Forces Censors To Watch 10-Hour Movie of Paint Drying (ibtimes.co.uk)
An anonymous reader writes: A British filmmaker has forced the people who decide how to censor films to watch a 10-hour movie of paint drying on a wall following a protest fundraising campaign. Charlie Lyne launched a Kickstarter to help raise the money needed to send his 'documentary' of a single shot of paint drying on a wall for consideration as a protest against the 'stronghold' the organisation has on the British film industry. The BBFC charge an initial fee of $144.88 to view a film and decide what certificate to give it, and then and additional $10.15 for each minute that the film lasts. The idea was the more money Lyne could raise via his fundraiser, the longer his paint-drying film could last. The campaign eventually nearly £8,500, meaning he was able to send in a 607 minute video which the examiners had to watch in its entirety.
Pick a damn unit of currency and stick to it!
const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
It will probably sweep the Oscars... as long as it's white or beige paint.
Dark Reflection
No hard decisions, even if they had to 'watch' it they could just sit around chatting with coffee. It is a nice idea to DoS the censor's office but this method that involves horsing 8,500 quid straight into their pockets is not the way to do it
They were watching the inverse Laplace Transform of subliminal porn.
"The BBFC confirmed it had awarded the movie a U certificate along with a note warning that the description of the film "may contain spoilers". It also read: "Paint Drying is a film showing paint drying on a wall. It contains no material likely to offend or harm.""
From the TFA. I thought the response was pretty good.
Was to give them 8,500 pounds to have them claim to watch the whole thing? Even if I didn't fast forward, that's still pretty good for 10 hours of work.
I wish someone would protest me that nicely. I'd really learn something. Feel free to repeatedly protest me.
XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
Still a better love story than Twilight.
They could have turned it into an M. Night Shyamalan movie:
What if the paint never dries???
What if it turns out that the paint is really aliens from the future???
You can't truly appreciate the nuance of paint drying without watching it in real time, everything else is just being a poseur to impress your art-house friends ... but they'll know you just fast forwarded ... they'll know, man.
The heart-wrenching existential agony at 3h52 minutes when the paint crinkles like an adolescent nipple blown with soft, warm breath for the first time can't be fully appreciated in anything but real time.
The suggestion of human suffering at 5h57 when a small droplet forms is utterly lost in anything but real time.
The utter elation at 9:37 when you realize, finally, we are reaching denouement and resolution can't simply be watched on fast forward.
You lose all of the majesty and vocabulary as envisioned by the film maker in his Neitzchean expression of the inhumanity of paint as a metaphor for moving past obstacles, and stepping over the carcasses of ones foes.
Of course it needs to be watched in real time.
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
My friend used to do this job for Turner networks. His job was to watch content set to air in foreign countries and document every moment that needed to be flagged due to censorship concerns. "At 0:52:13, use of the word 'fuck.' At 0:55:43, exposed nipple..." If he ever missed anything, he would have been fired, so he had to watch every second of the film. If he became distracted, he would have to rewind. Apparently he loved this job. It sounded miserable to me.
As someone pointed out, he could have spliced in non-G-rating audio at a certain point. For example, at 5 hours and 47 minutes, a single curse word might be uttered. Then, at 7 hours and 23.5 minutes, perhaps he'd have XXX-rated audio play for 3 seconds.
If the censors still give the movie a G rating, then it's obvious that they didn't watch it all (either fast-forwarding through it or watching the first few hours and then stopping).
My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
They're British. It's almost a foregone conclusion.
They should have blasted out the Inception sound.
BWWWWOOONNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
Then everyone shits their pants and has to sit there for the remaining 200 minutes.
Nuke Gay Whales for Jesus.