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Peter Thiel Thinks There's Not Enough Sex In Silicon Valley (businessinsider.com)
Peter Thiel recently complained parts of Silicon Valley are "hyper-politically correct" about sexual activity, and shared a friend's theory that conservative parts of America tolerate Silicon Valley "because people there just don't have that much sex. They're not having that much fun." Long-time Slashdot reader SonicSpike quotes Business Insider's investigation into Thiel's claim.
Silicon Valley has the highest ratio of single men to single women... (However, it's worth noting that the San Francisco metropolitan area also has the highest ratio of people who identify as LGBT in the U.S.) In fact, Dr. Sandra Lindholm, a sex therapist and clinical psychologist in the Bay Area, recently told Forbes that she's now seeing an uptick in young, male clients who complain about a variety of sexual challenges and issues. "They're coming to sex therapy because they don't feel they have time or energy for sex," Lindhold said.
Some of the common issues include low sexual desire, difficulty meeting women, and performance issues. Plus, she points out people in tech generally have a reputation for being introverted. Another particular issue that frequently comes up is what she calls "tech overload": people spend so much time on their gadgets that they "forget about being in the moment." Although there's no official data on Silicon Valley's sex frequency, a 2012 survey by condom maker Trojan revealed that Bay Area residents had the least amount of sex and the shortest time in bed, in a sample of 10 major US cities including New York, Chicago, Miami, and so on.
Some of the common issues include low sexual desire, difficulty meeting women, and performance issues. Plus, she points out people in tech generally have a reputation for being introverted. Another particular issue that frequently comes up is what she calls "tech overload": people spend so much time on their gadgets that they "forget about being in the moment." Although there's no official data on Silicon Valley's sex frequency, a 2012 survey by condom maker Trojan revealed that Bay Area residents had the least amount of sex and the shortest time in bed, in a sample of 10 major US cities including New York, Chicago, Miami, and so on.
You can take the nerd out of his mother's basement, but you can't take the basement out of the nerd.
Some of the common issues include low sexual desire, difficulty meeting women, and performance issues.
I can see why difficulty meeting potential sexual partners would be a problem if you have significant sexual desire, and likewise with performance issues. But why would a lack of sexual desire be a problem? It seems like it should make life easier. Let the rabbits get on with the procreating while you do whatever it is you are interested in.
The lack of women in SF ultimately does not matter. A boyfriend who spends all his time with startup colleagues is no boyfriend and husband who works so much is just a glorified back account anyway. What would those guys do even if women were there? Nothing, they would still close themselves into males only group (except maybe striptease or night bar visit).
However, the ratio might explain why some techies tend to became either completely radical feminists or total sexists. Having no contact with people who are not male techies or moms, they place wild imagination over reality and believe that the one women who talked with them last year is stand in for all women.
Most people are too busy getting metaphorically fucked by their workplace/jobs there to bother with a REAL relationship.
conservative parts of America tolerate Silicon Valley "because people there just don't have that much sex. They're not having that much fun" /. since Bennett Haselton was an "editor".
which translates to
Peter Thiel Thinks There's Not Enough Sex In Silicon Valley
Total non-sequitar. That aside, this is the single dumbest article I've not read on
-- Political fascism requires a Fuhrer.
Not getting any sex because nobody finds you attractive is one thing. But if you can't find time for sex when it is on offer you are doing life wrong!
'conservative parts of America tolerate Silicon Valley "because people there just don't have that much sex'
What? Why would anyone care about how much sex is going in Silicon Valley, and why would 'conservative parts of America' have anything to say about that, and why would Silicon Valley be in any way special in this regard? The mind just boggles trying to conjure up the reasoning that must be behind an expression like that.
Religion is what happens when nature strikes and groupthink goes wrong.
As if I care what that asshat thinks. Some "opinions" do not need consideration.
Pot, meet kettle.
Overwork, constantly subverting the durinal impulse, stress chemicals cranked to the max, overlaid with caffeine and god knows what other stimulants, PHB's and TPS reports sapping your autonomy, random production death marches, and constant reminders that you have no authority: this will absolutely destroy the testosterone production of any male, much less ones dedicated to a sedentary workstyle.
Humans are built for physical work for 8-10 hours a day and plenty of social interaction. These people are about as far removed from the natural harmonious state of human interaction with people, their world, and their environment as you can find this side of a solitary confinement wing. No surprise they aren't copulating. It's like their genes are saying, "Why bring children into this environment? It sucks ass."
When the only tool you have is a claw hammer every problem starts to look like the back of someone's skull.
I know - they are too plain and simple for all these hipster snowflakes. This is a deadlock indeed.
You know how I know you're lying?
Your allegedly "introverted" "tech" workers are hypersocial self-aggrandizing narcissistic bloggers.
Introverts don't advertise. Introverts don't brag. Introverts don't blog. Introverts don't get jobs in silicon valley. Not anymore. There aren't any introverts left in "tech" because tech has been completely displaced by social media marketing.
Don't bullshit me bro.
people spend so much time on their gadgets that they "forget about being in the moment."
I'm glad this person has an advanced degree to state the obvious. Pick any location and guaranteed you will see someone taking a selfie or quickly pulling up their phone to take a picture then just as quickly moving on, not bothering to enjoy being at that place at that time.
Then again, these people are the ones who brag about working 16 - 18 hour days, seven days a week, always on call because of the money they're making, how they're on the cutting edge of technology, etc. You can't complain you're not meeting people or having sex if that's your life. Nothing is stopping you from taking a breath once in a while to smell the roses except yourself.
At least now we have an explanation of why all of Apple's new graphics designs emphasize 'flat."
I've fallen off your lawn, and I can't get up.
High male-to-female limits sex-per-capita in a couple different ways:
1. In general, men want to have sex more frequently than women and are more willing to engage in non-committed sex. Ignoring homosexual males, since they're a fairly small piece of the picture even in the Bay Area, the amount of sex is going to be strongly tied to the # of women.
2. More men than women makes it a "woman's market", so to speak, so women can afford to be more choosy and less promiscuous. In situations where women outnumber men, women are generally less choosy and more promiscuous, leading to more sex.
Lest I be accused of being a red-pill patriarchal Trump guy, let me assure you I'm not.
Really! The usual meme is young females are having more sex because they don't have to be a 'good girl' in these modern times. It's probably the same old problem; the women fuck the attractive men and the rest get nothing. So it's time for the usual answer; prostitutes.
About 16 years ago, during the dot-com boom, the press in my country went ballistic when they discovered that IT businesses had corporate accounts at local brothels. They never articulated why a corporate perk was wrong (and failed to mention the onerous tax paid on corporate perks) when an employee could legally visit a brothel using his own money.
As an Australian sex-ed documentary, Love and sex in the age of pornography explains, the unrestricted availability of pornography means young viewers are getting some twisted ideas about what constitutes good fucking.
I work a fairly normal job doing systems architecture stuff for an IT service provider. I have a spouse and 2 kids, and some semblance of a life outside of IT/dev. I seriously doubt I'd have the family and normal life part working for some of the crazy SV employers. I think the key reasons are crazy work environment and cost of living:
I've never worked for a startup or a tech company notorious for crazy culture, but I have plenty of acquaintances who do. I say "acquaintances" because they're never around to talk to -- they're always working. I love my job; it's great getting paid to solve complex problems. But I don't love it so much that I work 90 or 100 hour weeks constantly. Even established companies like Google, Microsoft and Amazon are famously "all inclusive" -- 3 meals a day at work, bus service to and from work and an implicit expectation that you belong to them. Startups are even stranger with the founder-driven work or die culture. Having a relationship is incompatible with this. In a startup, I've heard you barely see anybody outside the company...that limits the pool to other workaholics trying to win the buyout lottery...and they don't have time for each other either.
The second thing is cost of living. I live in New York, and I think the cost of living here is crazy. California and SV take it to a whole new level. Either you perpetually rent a tiny apartment with roommates, or you go into permanent indentured servitude to buy a $1.5M house that costs $300K elsewhere. Who has the money available to go out and play the field in a situation like that?
Another poster mentioned something about basement-dwelling nerds, but don't forget that that's mostly not SV anymore. Most of SV is these hyper-social startup companies where the stereotype "brogrammer" was born. I'm sure there are still plenty of nerds, but most of them are migrating to places like cloud providers or established software vendors.
I think the real problem is that so many millennials (male and female) have become socially inept due to over-use of phones and social media.
They have no idea how to have a conversation except with their bro-buddies or hen-pals. They can barely look you in the eye. They run from a difference of opinion as if it was poison gas. They model their lives on trendy sitcoms and would rather get "likes" on Instagram than have sex. The guys are too busy grooming their hipster beards and the women won't spit on you if you don't make $250K a year and drive a Mercedes.
Add to that the relative scarcity of non-uptight women in the Bay area and it's no wonder there's so little fucking going on. It's the same in New York and lots of other big cities.
Just cruising through this digital world at 33 1/3 rpm...
That does not mean that other denizens of the valley are in the same situation.
Perhaps he's holding it wrong.
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
you are right it doesn't see: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.u...
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
Too cerebral. You need to think like Trump's nicknames to get it to stick - "Nasty Peter Thiel."
fucks!
A s/w developer was walking along a path when a frog said, "Ribbit. Kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The devel picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog say, "Ribbit. I'll turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you want" The devel just walks along. After a while, the frog says, "Ribbit. What's wrong with you? Don't you want a girlfriend?" The devel takes the frog out and tells it, "I'm a software developer. I don't have time for a relationship. But a talking frog .... that's cool!"
Have gnu, will travel.
Single girls here just don't leave their houses at night.
Night. There's your problem. Work flexible hours or telecommute. Hit the gym during the day. The best sex is a nooner.
Old people go out or have sex at night. It's a habit they pick up from having kids and then never break.
Have gnu, will travel.
Even if two people met in SF and were down for sex, where would they go? With so many people living 20 to a bedroom it doesn't seem like there are many physical places to have sex... I guess that's where having sex in Uber's started? It'll be a real boon when when you can just order a self driving car up and tell it to circle the city for an hour or two.
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
If a billionaire philanthropist wanted people in Silicon Valley to have a place where they could get together and enjoy fucking.
most tech people don't look their best in daylight
Hence my advice to hit the gym.
Have gnu, will travel.
... is probably the reason for him to say this. http://sanjose.backpage.com/Fe...
Are you coming on to me?
"Just after I moved here sixteen years ago, a local paper published a story about a study that said Seattle was the most asexual large city in the world."
Seattle should have more sex, because you can't get Internet porn.
... increasingly seems to be going off the deep end.
If I was involved with companies he was backing, I would be worried, quite frankly.
I lived in Si Valley a while ago. I found that it was difficult to even *see* anyone come out of their homes. It's get up, hit the garage door opener, go to work, go home and hit the garage door opener again and repeat.
There is not much "community" there. No one sitting outdoors, having BBQs, going for walks.
It's fuggin' intense and not much fun.
My solution was to get the hell out of the valley. I transferred to a new location with my same company and had a blast. Back were the pool parties, the BBQs, going skiing, biking, boating.
I'll never be back.
When you make barely enough to keep a roof over your head and food on your table your ability to go out and have a good time is drastically reduced.
If you're describing nerds in Silicon Valley, you might have a point. But actually, in places like Kentucky when there is a power outage and the television goes out, birth rates skyrocket. Sex is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment.
Recent reports have shown that many families are having to stay together or let their kids "sleep over" at a friend's house just so they know that they are being fed. People want you to think that this is some kind of awkward nerd thing, but not everyone one in Silicon Valley is this genius tech guru; most are Americans with average intelligence. Unfortunately, things are expensive there. You'd think having high tech would make life easier. People buy things they can't afford. "Fun With Dick And Jane" mixed with people trying to prevent "Idiocracy."
Am I the only one who feels the need to find justifications for all of my actions?
because he should go fuck himself!
And you think that this is something of which to be proud? In '93, I started with $73,000 per year in South Carolina, as the 'computer guy' for a medium sized manufacturer (My card said IT Director, but it was years before that became more than a joke between me and the owner).
This was enough to rent an actual house on Lake Wylie, eat out 100% of the time, and in the best restaurants on the weekend, and have enough to build a house on a better lot, again on Lake Wylie. And yes, I had enough time for sex, and even more, for driving to Charlotte to make it actually worth having.
Having to get a roommate to live on your salary, in an entry position, when you are supposed to be proving yourself? What the fuck, man?! No wonder those guys are not getting sex, their ego must be too busy digging down at rock bottom.
Or maybe you are just making shit up. In Southern California, 100,000 is enough to have a comfortable life, married with kids, even if your wife does not work.
No good deed goes unpunished...
Could anything in the world possibly be less relevant to /. readers than some jaded hag's opinions on Thiel, and the silicon valley?
-jcr
The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
Sounds like a typical IoT startup to me!
For the complete set of stats re which barbaric and medieval Islamic laws are still practiced today and where, see this link. Hopefully you are open to being educated and are not just a woefully ignorant bigot.
Observation: All women behave in an obnoxious manner towards you.
Hypothesis 1: The common factor in the interactions and cause of this behaviour is you.
Hypothesis 2: All women are misandrists.
I'd put money on hypothesis 1.
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
My solution was to get the hell out of the valley. I transferred to a new location with my same company and had a blast
From my consulting days, I remember a lot of companies being delighted to pay 80% of a Bay Area salary to me when my cost of living was around 10% of the Bay Area. They paid less, I put vastly more into savings than if I'd been living in SF. I still don't really understand the attraction of living out there (it's fun to visit - I'm actually in the Bay Area this week - but a week or two a year is enough).
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
First of all, I would tend to agree with Thiels general premise that there isn't enough sex/eros/sensuality in the tech-camp, even with so-called "high-functioning" nerds and successful techies. But I wouldn't see this as a tech problem rather than a problem of modern society in general, creeping up on all of us, not just the nerds. It's only us getting there quicker.
I see a lot of factors playing into this. The modern day phenomenon that Houellebecq describes as the "Extension of the Combat Zone" would be one key element. Long story short, the art of formalised courting in modern society has been lost. Especially in the US where men are generally always with one foot in jail for sexual harasment and general prudishness puts anything remotely erotic directly into a negative spotlight. But in other parts of the world too. Through a cultural degeneration of sorts and the sexual revolution of the 60ies we have lost a natural connection to our sexuality. Areas in which a formalised and thus safe encounter between men and women can happen have just about vanished. ... I personally dance argentine Tango and in it have found one of those rare spaces where this formalised encounter still exists - something that changed my (sex)life as a nerd/geek and the perception and valuation of myself and women in most profound ways (I'm a straight male if you haven't guessed yet ...).
Sex and intimacy is - in modern society more than at any other time - a form of art that needs to be practiced and refined. At the same time chances and times to do exactly this have just about disappeared in society. Nobody feels this more intensely than the superficially 'insecure' nerd (male and female).
What I find fascinating is that the problems that were wide and far between and limited to some awkward types (us outsiders) back in the 80ies have become personality traits observable in wide swaths of younger generations today. Herbivore (wo)men, Hikikomori, Escapism and Facebook/Instagram Depression/Disorder have become widespread phenomenon throughout society, making the problem more and more palpable for the general population today.
Curiously, this is the *only* place where I see some strange sort of an actual advantage in strange and bizar abrahamian revelation cults (i.e. Christianity, Islam and Judaism) today. While these cults are basically nothing than twisted remniscents of wacky ancient beliefs and traditions, their moderate 'modern' variants do actually still see to it that each and everyone has a real chance of finding a mate. Not a bad operating system for a society and one that give these cults somewhat of an unsettling evolutionary edge - they produce more children.
Generally I suspect this lack of sex, intimacy and sensuality thing will continue to spread throughout large areas of modern society until we come up with some revitalised form of courting and finally replace ugly sexual repurcussions, eccess escapism and ancient cults with something more modern and sophisticated and get around to real social interaction more. Todays "Cuddle-parties" and celebration of sexuality itself as something of religious quality in New Age "Tantra" and such hint in this direction. But I do also fear there will be a huge setback through VR and stuff like that before anything sustainably positive happens in this field though.
My 2 cents.
We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca
I am.
But you're apparently not familiar with basic Christian theology. See, the Old Testament is only part of the Christian bible as it provides the prologue on what is a millennials-long story arc. Mosaic Law (which over-wrote the Code of Hammurabi etc.) is itself over-written by Christ's "Mosaic Anti-theses:" "Love your neighbor as yourself," "Do unto others..." "Let he without sin cast the first stone," etc. No Christian sect (again, outside the 40 people in the Westboro Baptist Church) follow OT writings as canon when they are specifically over-written by NT writings. That's sort of the whole focus of Christianity.
You Leviticus-citing anti-Christian Internet "theologians" are even more pathetic than the Internet "tough guys."
Speak for yourself. My wife likes my dick up her bum. I like having the bet of both worlds.
Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
I'd better add that I wasn't being critical of your perspective merely that I have seen that toxic environment you speak of being spread in Universities by HR folk and similar who haven't been kept busy enough. They do this stupid shit of demonising people because it's easier than finding the very small number of real criminals. Management accept it because it's seen as spending some effort on campus safety etc and looks good as PR.
It's not so bad elsewhere IMHO.
Weird - a law against that? How fucking uptight are some people?
I doubt very much that the average man or woman or the street would give a shit either way, I suspect it's just an idiot like the magazine writer you quoted getting more attention than they deserve from legislators who are looking for an issue that will get them positive press. Of course that's just an opinion.
Didn't John Calhoun predict this? Are we seeing the first uber rich Beautiful Ones - the ones left with skills and jobs that are the last to be replaced by the powers of automation / globalisation? http://www.bigthoughtslittleth...
Of course they can't deny it but for the reasons RobotRunAmok stated it's a red herring to bring it up.
It is easy to tell geeks to just get over themselves, normal-up, force themselves to be more extroverted, force themselves to like the things that women want them to like, etc.
A woman goes to her doctor and says "I'm a clinically depressed, agoraphobic, pathologically shy introvert" so he advises her to cheer up, and get out and meet more people.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
I'd better add that I wasn't being critical of your perspective merely that I have seen that toxic environment you speak of being spread in Universities by HR folk and similar who haven't been kept busy enough. They do this stupid shit of demonising people because it's easier than finding the very small number of real criminals. Management accept it because it's seen as spending some effort on campus safety etc and looks good as PR. It's not so bad elsewhere IMHO.
The insane thing is that the women there knew who was harassing them. The men knew who the men were who were harassing the women, HR knew who the men were who were harassing women, because the women told them specifically who was doing it. And with one exception over the more than 30 years, it was legit. We'd even tell a couple of offenders to knock it off before we were hamstrung by the misandrists.
But the way it was handled was similar to how in high school, and someone gets caught smoking in the restrooms, everyone is punished. All that does is make most everyone angry at the administration, and the guilty do not give a damn. most inefficient and counterproductive.
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
Treat this as an ad hominem if you want, but anyone who espouses this view is not someone whose opinions will ever matter to me.
Three Step Plan:
1. Take over the world.
2. Get a lot of cookies.
3. Eat the cookies.
If you're describing nerds in Silicon Valley, you might have a point. But actually, in places like Kentucky when there is a power outage and the television goes out, birth rates skyrocket. Sex is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment.
In Silicon Valley, when the power goes out and the smart phone batteries drain, there are riots in the street!
Very good points but I'm not entirely sure they apply to this San Francisco situation. While some of that may apply it's probably more like what others suggested in that it's difficult to get some privacy.
It's kind of funny that in comparison in terms of "sexual politics" the university I was an undergrad at bought a condom vending machine, and the Police smashed through a window and had to wade through a urinal to get it and rip it off the wall. None of that jumping at shadows. Real shit to get pissed off about instead.