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Peter Thiel Thinks There's Not Enough Sex In Silicon Valley (businessinsider.com)

Peter Thiel recently complained parts of Silicon Valley are "hyper-politically correct" about sexual activity, and shared a friend's theory that conservative parts of America tolerate Silicon Valley "because people there just don't have that much sex. They're not having that much fun." Long-time Slashdot reader SonicSpike quotes Business Insider's investigation into Thiel's claim. Silicon Valley has the highest ratio of single men to single women... (However, it's worth noting that the San Francisco metropolitan area also has the highest ratio of people who identify as LGBT in the U.S.) In fact, Dr. Sandra Lindholm, a sex therapist and clinical psychologist in the Bay Area, recently told Forbes that she's now seeing an uptick in young, male clients who complain about a variety of sexual challenges and issues. "They're coming to sex therapy because they don't feel they have time or energy for sex," Lindhold said.

Some of the common issues include low sexual desire, difficulty meeting women, and performance issues. Plus, she points out people in tech generally have a reputation for being introverted. Another particular issue that frequently comes up is what she calls "tech overload": people spend so much time on their gadgets that they "forget about being in the moment." Although there's no official data on Silicon Valley's sex frequency, a 2012 survey by condom maker Trojan revealed that Bay Area residents had the least amount of sex and the shortest time in bed, in a sample of 10 major US cities including New York, Chicago, Miami, and so on.

37 of 283 comments (clear)

  1. Well... by bluegutang · · Score: 5, Funny

    You can take the nerd out of his mother's basement, but you can't take the basement out of the nerd.

    1. Re:Well... by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 4, Funny

      but you can't take the basement out of the nerd

      Ouch! Debasement in the basement! I like that.

      --
      Ezekiel 23:20
    2. Re:Well... by ColdWetDog · · Score: 3, Funny

      That's pretty low.

      --
      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
  2. problems by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Some of the common issues include low sexual desire, difficulty meeting women, and performance issues.

    I can see why difficulty meeting potential sexual partners would be a problem if you have significant sexual desire, and likewise with performance issues. But why would a lack of sexual desire be a problem? It seems like it should make life easier. Let the rabbits get on with the procreating while you do whatever it is you are interested in.

    1. Re:problems by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Society expectations and peer pressure. You don't want or care much about x but TV and pop culture says that everyone wants x more than anything else: that's going to make you feel like a freak. Then mix in workmates whose main topic of conversation is the quest for x and their made-up stories about how much of x they are getting and you start pretending you too want x to fit in. Recipe for unhappiness.

    2. Re:problems by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 4, Interesting

      The older I get, and the weaker the hormones are, the happier I am with life in general. Being a young male was hell and honestly getting sex wasn't the cure-all that Mr. Thiel thinks it is... you just get a brief break (the younger you are, the briefer it is) and want back in the saddle again.

      I'm not really sure why we seem to worship this ideal, sex is a biological demand that kept us going, but definitely is responsible for more of the worlds troubles than any other single thing.

    3. Re:problems by Ol+Olsoc · · Score: 2

      . But why would a lack of sexual desire be a problem? It seems like it should make life easier. Let the rabbits get on with the procreating while you do whatever it is you are interested in.

      A lot of people are concerned because the reproduction rate is falling. And it's falling especially among intelligent people.

      I think that what has happened is that the male of the species has been marginalized to the point where many of the husband material guys - high earnings, non-violent, pleasant, civil disposition, and intelligent - have come to the conclusion that the much better than average chance that their wife will take them to the cleaners in a divorce, and make their lives miserable, that they just don't play that game any more.

      I suspect that these guys mentioned in the story in sexual therapy are the friendzone guys, who have bought into the idea that if they become a sort of male/female BFF chimera, that their friendzoning female is going to engage in sex with them.

      So with not wanting to sexually engage with the friendzone guys, and the guys who are considered husband material completely tuned out via simple risk/reward assessments, the only people left to provide the desired offspring are the jerks.

      --
      The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
  3. So what by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The lack of women in SF ultimately does not matter. A boyfriend who spends all his time with startup colleagues is no boyfriend and husband who works so much is just a glorified back account anyway. What would those guys do even if women were there? Nothing, they would still close themselves into males only group (except maybe striptease or night bar visit).

    However, the ratio might explain why some techies tend to became either completely radical feminists or total sexists. Having no contact with people who are not male techies or moms, they place wild imagination over reality and believe that the one women who talked with them last year is stand in for all women.

    1. Re:So what by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      It's like when I hear of the evil of guns, it's like none of you own or were ever near a gun.

    2. Re:So what by Applehu+Akbar · · Score: 3, Funny

      "The lack of women in SF ultimately does not matter."

      My first really good relationship was a woman who wrote SF.

    3. Re: So what by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I own several, and let me tell you; the average guy I meet at the range or my private dealer are basically ammo-sexual. My dealer even went so far as to point out how I didn't seem that excited about my recent purchases.

      Maybe it's because I take gun safety seriously and I don't laugh when people tell me stories about that one time the loaded gun their dad kept in the corner of their childhood home accidentally went off when it fell over "but nobody was hurt." Or every time I go to the range some gun tourist seems to ignore the rangemaster and moves their firearm during the target retrieval portion.

      Yeah, my fear of guns has little to do with inexperience and everything to do with the experience of the average American, just like driving.

    4. Re:So what by Ol+Olsoc · · Score: 3, Interesting

      If they make it so hard to bring up children and you can see their future as nothing more than burning on the greed driven pyres of the rich and greedy, why play the game.

      Your attitude is not unique. Many men have chosen to drop out of that game. In a huge social experiment started in the 1980's woen were taught form a very young age that men are rapists, and pedophiles - all of them, and young males were taught that anything a woman thinks is sexual harassment - is by definition sexual harassment, and "you better not go raping women you rapist pedophile".

      By and large, for many years, men just went along with it. But then a problem developed. Now that sitting with your legs too far apart makes you a symbol of rapist culture (man spreading) http://everydayfeminism.com/20... it has become pretty clear that women by and large simply do not like men, and a majority of them hate men. From this article http://femmagazine.com/2015/03... - “Manspreading” is essentially part of rape culture."

      Let's face it - if the way you sit causes a female outrage, and she is validated if she thinks you are the equal of a person who would force sexual intercourse on her. She hates men badly.

      So we had that problem. Most men have no intention of physically violating women, yet they have been part of the all men are evil cultural experiment. Given that most divorces are initiated by women, and the initiator almost always wins the lion's share of the proceedings, and most marriages end in divorce. A normal heterosexul guy might be forgiven if he just bags the whole thing. One thing is for certain - you end up with a lot more money in the bank.

      --
      The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
    5. Re:So what by Rakarra · · Score: 2

      By and large, for many years, men just went along with it. But then a problem developed. Now that sitting with your legs too far apart makes you a symbol of rapist culture (man spreading) http://everydayfeminism.com/20... [everydayfeminism.com] it has become pretty clear that women by and large simply do not like men, and a majority of them hate men. From this article http://femmagazine.com/2015/03... [femmagazine.com] - “Manspreading” is essentially part of rape culture."

      You are taking very fringe ideas here and saying that this is just what is considered mainstream. It's not, even in liberal circles.

  4. Is Bennett Haselton Back? by Prien715 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    conservative parts of America tolerate Silicon Valley "because people there just don't have that much sex. They're not having that much fun"
    which translates to
    Peter Thiel Thinks There's Not Enough Sex In Silicon Valley
    Total non-sequitar. That aside, this is the single dumbest article I've not read on /. since Bennett Haselton was an "editor".

    --
    -- Political fascism requires a Fuhrer.
  5. Wait... by bytesex · · Score: 5, Insightful

    'conservative parts of America tolerate Silicon Valley "because people there just don't have that much sex'

    What? Why would anyone care about how much sex is going in Silicon Valley, and why would 'conservative parts of America' have anything to say about that, and why would Silicon Valley be in any way special in this regard? The mind just boggles trying to conjure up the reasoning that must be behind an expression like that.

    --
    Religion is what happens when nature strikes and groupthink goes wrong.
    1. Re:Wait... by SeaFox · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Why would anyone care about how much sex is going in Silicon Valley, and why would 'conservative parts of America' have anything to say about that, and why would Silicon Valley be in any way special in this regard?

      This would be the same conservative parts of America that think there should be laws about who can have sex with whom, what a woman does with her body, etc.
      Gee, why would they care about this topic...

    2. Re:Wait... by Gordo_1 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Having lived in a conservative part of America before moving to Silicon Valley, I can not tell you how many times I would overhear at parties "well, I hate those liberal techy scum, but they don't have much sex, so I guess they can stay."

    3. Re:Wait... by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 5, Insightful

      What? Why would anyone care about how much sex is going in Silicon Valley

      Indeed, why would religious people care about how much sex who has with whom anywhere? Yet they still do care for some reason.

      --
      Ezekiel 23:20
  6. Re:I don't support assholes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    As if I care what that asshat thinks. Some "opinions" do not need consideration.

    Pot, meet kettle.

  7. Betas will beta? by Dread_ed · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Overwork, constantly subverting the durinal impulse, stress chemicals cranked to the max, overlaid with caffeine and god knows what other stimulants, PHB's and TPS reports sapping your autonomy, random production death marches, and constant reminders that you have no authority: this will absolutely destroy the testosterone production of any male, much less ones dedicated to a sedentary workstyle.

    Humans are built for physical work for 8-10 hours a day and plenty of social interaction. These people are about as far removed from the natural harmonious state of human interaction with people, their world, and their environment as you can find this side of a solitary confinement wing. No surprise they aren't copulating. It's like their genes are saying, "Why bring children into this environment? It sucks ass."

    --
    When the only tool you have is a claw hammer every problem starts to look like the back of someone's skull.
    1. Re:Betas will beta? by fermion · · Score: 3, Interesting
      The sex drive in humans is a continuum. Not everyone has a life controlled by where their next orgasm is going to come from. And not everyone simply has sex only before they go to bed. Sex on the kitchen table or in the office is not an unattainable fantasy, even for a person with little sex drive.

      in fact one issue we have had over the past couple decades, and perhaps even for out entire history, is that drugs are overused to promote the sex drive, even when there is no natural desire. The stages of adolescence and young adulthood n the US are so messed up that they tend to be directed and controlled by the people who have the most sex drive, even though that level of desire for sex, objectively speaking, is freakish. I have no issue with healthy sexual situations depicted in the media, but even the most liberal minded person has to admit that most of what is in the media is atypical and often does not show healthy situation. Like so many other situations, it shows a false normal that promotes drug use to achieve. We are expected to work so we take drugs. We are expected to party so we take drugs. We are expected to copulate at a moments notice, so we take drugs.

      The religious freaks in the US promote a christian sharia law so we feel guilty about doing all of this so we take drugs. We feel like we have to have kids if we have sex, so we put the kids on drugs when they do not meet the expectations.

      As is said anywhere, the research, not the alternative facts, do not indicate that humans evolved to work long days. In fact we see throughout civilization a desire to sedentary and not work. We see social structures that appear to prioritize a wide range of social interaction over the limited possibilities of a relationship based purely on sticking on part of human anatomy into a different part of another person's anatomy. Again, the religious freaks want to limit us to this because they are the ones that aren't capable of fully experiencing full human relationships, and they are the one's who are unhappy, and they want everyone else to be equally unhappy.

      The one thing he is right about is the religious freaks in the midwest considering the relatively tame lifestyle of the geek inoffensive. This is simply because we geeks tend to not be exhibitionists, we tend to not be so insecure that we need everyone to approve of the lifestle we lead, or the need to parade trophy mates instead focusing on being with people we actually like.

      --
      "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
    2. Re:Betas will beta? by Ol+Olsoc · · Score: 2

      Overwork, constantly subverting the durinal impulse,"

      You have two urinals?

      --
      The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
  8. "introverted" "tech" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    You know how I know you're lying?

    Your allegedly "introverted" "tech" workers are hypersocial self-aggrandizing narcissistic bloggers.

    Introverts don't advertise. Introverts don't brag. Introverts don't blog. Introverts don't get jobs in silicon valley. Not anymore. There aren't any introverts left in "tech" because tech has been completely displaced by social media marketing.

    Don't bullshit me bro.

  9. No shit by quonset · · Score: 2

    people spend so much time on their gadgets that they "forget about being in the moment."

    I'm glad this person has an advanced degree to state the obvious. Pick any location and guaranteed you will see someone taking a selfie or quickly pulling up their phone to take a picture then just as quickly moving on, not bothering to enjoy being at that place at that time.

    Then again, these people are the ones who brag about working 16 - 18 hour days, seven days a week, always on call because of the money they're making, how they're on the cutting edge of technology, etc. You can't complain you're not meeting people or having sex if that's your life. Nothing is stopping you from taking a breath once in a while to smell the roses except yourself.

  10. Silicon Valley Icons by fyngyrz · · Score: 2

    At least now we have an explanation of why all of Apple's new graphics designs emphasize 'flat."

    --
    I've fallen off your lawn, and I can't get up.
    1. Re:Silicon Valley Icons by RockDoctor · · Score: 2

      Apple's new graphics designs emphasize 'flat.

      So, I've missed the "get some boob" and "feel arse" versions of iPhone 1 through (is it 7, 8 or 9 today - I don't know.)?

      Or is Thiel (a homophone for "feel," predictably) pumping for the iPhone 10 "ring-fingering" edition?

      --
      Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
  11. thoughts: by buddyglass · · Score: 5, Interesting

    High male-to-female limits sex-per-capita in a couple different ways:

    1. In general, men want to have sex more frequently than women and are more willing to engage in non-committed sex. Ignoring homosexual males, since they're a fairly small piece of the picture even in the Bay Area, the amount of sex is going to be strongly tied to the # of women.
    2. More men than women makes it a "woman's market", so to speak, so women can afford to be more choosy and less promiscuous. In situations where women outnumber men, women are generally less choosy and more promiscuous, leading to more sex.

    Lest I be accused of being a red-pill patriarchal Trump guy, let me assure you I'm not.

    1. Re: thoughts: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      That's because feminism teaches 'body acceptance,' the wisdom that a woman's weight isn't what defines her as a person, and if you reject her for being overweight, you are a shallow pig.

      However, if you are a short, bald man who isn't rich, that's a character flaw and she is entirely justified in rejecting you.

  12. Prostitutes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

    ... uptick in young, male clients ...

    Really! The usual meme is young females are having more sex because they don't have to be a 'good girl' in these modern times. It's probably the same old problem; the women fuck the attractive men and the rest get nothing. So it's time for the usual answer; prostitutes.

    About 16 years ago, during the dot-com boom, the press in my country went ballistic when they discovered that IT businesses had corporate accounts at local brothels. They never articulated why a corporate perk was wrong (and failed to mention the onerous tax paid on corporate perks) when an employee could legally visit a brothel using his own money.

    ... complain about a variety of sexual challenges and issues.

    As an Australian sex-ed documentary, Love and sex in the age of pornography explains, the unrestricted availability of pornography means young viewers are getting some twisted ideas about what constitutes good fucking.

  13. Work culture and environment is likely the reason by ErichTheRed · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I work a fairly normal job doing systems architecture stuff for an IT service provider. I have a spouse and 2 kids, and some semblance of a life outside of IT/dev. I seriously doubt I'd have the family and normal life part working for some of the crazy SV employers. I think the key reasons are crazy work environment and cost of living:

    I've never worked for a startup or a tech company notorious for crazy culture, but I have plenty of acquaintances who do. I say "acquaintances" because they're never around to talk to -- they're always working. I love my job; it's great getting paid to solve complex problems. But I don't love it so much that I work 90 or 100 hour weeks constantly. Even established companies like Google, Microsoft and Amazon are famously "all inclusive" -- 3 meals a day at work, bus service to and from work and an implicit expectation that you belong to them. Startups are even stranger with the founder-driven work or die culture. Having a relationship is incompatible with this. In a startup, I've heard you barely see anybody outside the company...that limits the pool to other workaholics trying to win the buyout lottery...and they don't have time for each other either.

    The second thing is cost of living. I live in New York, and I think the cost of living here is crazy. California and SV take it to a whole new level. Either you perpetually rent a tiny apartment with roommates, or you go into permanent indentured servitude to buy a $1.5M house that costs $300K elsewhere. Who has the money available to go out and play the field in a situation like that?

    Another poster mentioned something about basement-dwelling nerds, but don't forget that that's mostly not SV anymore. Most of SV is these hyper-social startup companies where the stereotype "brogrammer" was born. I'm sure there are still plenty of nerds, but most of them are migrating to places like cloud providers or established software vendors.

  14. Not much fun? by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Perhaps he's holding it wrong.

    --
    It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
  15. Re:That man needs an adjective in front of his nam by Dahamma · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Too cerebral. You need to think like Trump's nicknames to get it to stick - "Nasty Peter Thiel."

  16. Oblig Joke by PPH · · Score: 5, Funny

    A s/w developer was walking along a path when a frog said, "Ribbit. Kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The devel picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog say, "Ribbit. I'll turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you want" The devel just walks along. After a while, the frog says, "Ribbit. What's wrong with you? Don't you want a girlfriend?" The devel takes the frog out and tells it, "I'm a software developer. I don't have time for a relationship. But a talking frog .... that's cool!"

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
    1. Re:Oblig Joke by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      A software developer cycles in to work on a shiny new bike, and his coworker asks where he got it.
      "Funny thing, as I was walking in to work this beautiful woman cycled up to me took of all her clothes and said 'take whatever you want'"
      "Good choice!" said the coworker, "the clothes probably wouldn't have fit".

  17. Re:Work culture and environment is likely the reas by hambone142 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I lived in Si Valley a while ago. I found that it was difficult to even *see* anyone come out of their homes. It's get up, hit the garage door opener, go to work, go home and hit the garage door opener again and repeat.

    There is not much "community" there. No one sitting outdoors, having BBQs, going for walks.

    It's fuggin' intense and not much fun.

    My solution was to get the hell out of the valley. I transferred to a new location with my same company and had a blast. Back were the pool parties, the BBQs, going skiing, biking, boating.

    I'll never be back.

  18. Re:Mining by RobotRunAmok · · Score: 2
    It's actually Sharia law -- Islam -- with the edicts that require gays to be stoned to death. The Westboro Baptist Church (membership: 40, per Wikipedia) is the only Christian sect that I know of that "wants to kill" homosexuals.

    For the complete set of stats re which barbaric and medieval Islamic laws are still practiced today and where, see this link. Hopefully you are open to being educated and are not just a woefully ignorant bigot.

  19. Re:Mining by RobotRunAmok · · Score: 2

    I am.

    But you're apparently not familiar with basic Christian theology. See, the Old Testament is only part of the Christian bible as it provides the prologue on what is a millennials-long story arc. Mosaic Law (which over-wrote the Code of Hammurabi etc.) is itself over-written by Christ's "Mosaic Anti-theses:" "Love your neighbor as yourself," "Do unto others..." "Let he without sin cast the first stone," etc. No Christian sect (again, outside the 40 people in the Westboro Baptist Church) follow OT writings as canon when they are specifically over-written by NT writings. That's sort of the whole focus of Christianity.

    You Leviticus-citing anti-Christian Internet "theologians" are even more pathetic than the Internet "tough guys."