You Can't Open the Microsoft Surface Laptop Without Literally Destroying It (vice.com)

An anonymous reader quotes a report from Motherboard: Microsoft's latest Surface Laptop may have earned glowing reviews from certain sections of the tech press, but don't tell that to iFixit. The company, which provides repair tools and manuals for popular gadgets like the iPhone and PlayStation, has handed the Surface Laptop a score of 0 out of 10 in terms of user repairability, stating definitively that the laptop "is not meant to be opened or repaired; you can't get inside without inflicting a lot of damage." iFixit's detailed teardown illustrates just how difficult it is to open the Surface. For starters, there are no screws, proprietary or otherwise, on the outside of the laptop. Instead, the laptop is literally welded together using a type of "plastic soldering" that is rare to see in consumer electronics. Anyone hoping to get inside the "beautifully designed and crafted" computer will have to pry it open with a knife or dedicated pick in order to defeat Microsoft's plastic welding. Whether or not it's actually worth going through the trouble of defeating said welding is another matter, given that the "glue-filled monstrosity," as iFixit dubs the laptop, has none of the user-upgradeable parts you'd want to see in a PC, like memory or storage.

"It literally can't be opened without destroying it," the repair company concludes. "If we could give it a -1 out of 10, we would," iFixit said in an emailed statement on Friday. "It's a Russian nesting doll from hell with everything hidden under adhesive and plastic spot welds. It is physically impossible to nondestructively open this device."

Comments

Not always a bad thing

[Anonymous Coward]

Physical security of the device may be a blessing - leaving it in a hotel room in a politically hostile place would not enable direct access to storage components as on a conventional portable system. Not to say that it is unhackable, but denying physical access is a good first step.

Re:Not always a bad thing

[TWX]

I doubt that Microsoft has created something that's unhackable, and since once a vulnerability is discovered it can usually be exploited through some automated process, it won't take l33t h4xx0rs to make use of stolen devices once an automated tool is in the wild.

My complaint about any device whose storage is soldered on is that if there's a physical fault, it may not be possible to retrieve the contents. And while the goal is for a "cloud" system, where the contents are backed-up, I neither trust the reliability of the network nor the security of the storage provider to ensure that my stuff is both backed-up and remains exclusively mine.

Re:Not always a bad thing

[TheFakeTimCook]

good first step.

Just like having a TPM and Intel's management engine, right?

OMFG!!!

If Apple did this, there would be nothing but screeching and moaning from the death of a thousand ACs, as they fell over themselves in a big internet pile, trying to one-up each other about how HORRIBLE it was, and "Typical Apple" and "See? No Third-Party Repairs NOW", blah, blah, blah.

Tell me you wouldn't.

Re:Not always a bad thing

[PopeRatzo]

Physical security of the device may be a blessing - leaving it in a hotel room in a politically hostile place would not enable direct access to storage components as on a conventional portable system.

Is there anyplace left that's not "politically hostile"?

Re:Not always a bad thing

[JohnFen]

I wouldn't. My reaction to this would be no different if Apple did it: I won't buy it, and I'll recommend against others buying it.

Re: Not always a bad thing

[Anonymous Coward]

It also means the NSA can add hardware at the factory and nobody will ever know.

Re:Not always a bad thing

[mysidia]

leaving it in a hotel room in a politically hostile place would not enable direct access to storage components

I wouldn't go that far. With the tools, materials, and methods, of a state sponsor, some way to get into it or to get the data off of it can be found - no question.

Re:Not always a bad thing

[TheFakeTimCook]

I wouldn't. My reaction to this would be no different if Apple did it: I won't buy it, and I'll recommend against others buying it.

You're not an AC; therefore, you are disqualified! ;-)

Re:Not always a bad thing

[Applehu Akbar]

Not to say that it is unhackable, but denying physical access is a good first step.

But then it runs Windows. Now your uncrackable hardware will let in every virus there is.

Re: Not always a bad thing

[KGIII]

My house. But I smoke a lot of pot.

Re: Not always a bad thing

[vtcodger]

"It also means the NSA can add hardware at the factory and nobody will ever know."

The factory is probably in East Asia so it's likely not the NSA adding stuff there. That said, the NSA is probably one of the few entities with the resources to prize this monstrosity apart, change something, put it back together, and have it work.

Re:Not always a bad thing

[phantomfive]

I recommend against buying any phone that doesn't allow you to own it.
Unfortunately, that currently includes all Apple phones.

Re:Not always a bad thing

[sjames]

Not worth much. That makes it tamper evident, not tamper proof. If someone really wants at the storage, they'll cut it apart as required.

Re:Not always a bad thing

[AC-x]

The number of people who actually upgrade their laptops or open them up can be measured in parts per million.

It's not just end users though, this also affects professional 3rd party repair shops. What could be a relatively simple fix for minor water damage becomes an expensive "send it back to Microsoft to replace" because it's impossible to open the thing.

It's anti-consumer and it's anti-competitive; Having a monopoly on repairs can only be bad for the consumer.

Re:Not always a bad thing

[thegarbz]

this also affects professional 3rd party repair shops

So don't recommend a product to a customer because of some other unrelated business who is quite likely never to get business from the customer in the first place? Seriously what next, don't buy cars because the farriers will go out of business?

It's anti-consumer

It is nothing of the sort. This is very much the exact opposite, a company listening to exactly what consumers wanted: unlimited power, paper thin, and with style. There's a reason Surface, Macbooks, and all the many clones of the designs of both of them do far better in sales than traditional square "you can open this by removing these 30 screws" models, outside of business settings where this stuff is valued of course.

We asked for this. We did so through sales figures promoting products with certain design features. We did so through repair figures showing that few people bought after market batteries. We did so through reviews and through complaints (right here on Slashdot, the biggest complaint about the SP3/4 was not that it was hard to repair but that it wasn't a laptop that could support the weight of the screen on the base).

and it's anti-competitive;

Not giving a shit about 3rd party companies that offer a service that shouldn't be needed is not anti-competitive. Unless companies like Caterpillar are anti-competitive too with their shock proof crush proof water proof everything proof phone design.

Having a monopoly on repairs can only be bad for the consumer.

MS doesn't have a monopoly on repairs. They simply produced a design that is hard to re-close once opened. A repair shop is more than welcome to go out and buy the necessary tools, they aren't proprietary. There's no well controlled pentalobe screws here. It's just hard to open, and that in itself doesn't give MS a monopoly on anything.

My recommendations depend on the requirements of the end user, not some side industry that the end user shouldn't have to use regardless of what he buys.

user repairability

[turkeydance]

is that a "thing"?

Re:user repairability

[tomxor]

get off my lawn...

Re:user repairability

[TWX]

Even if it's not user-repairability, IT shops for sufficiently large organizations like being able to fix devices when they're damaged, or at least being able to retrieve user data.

We've basically migrated away from one vendor because they promised us portable computers that were serviceable and that there'd be parts availability. Instead we got portables that used a lot of adhesives, had a lot of integration where ports were on mainboards such that damage to ports would destroy the mainboard, and where parts were available they were extremely expensive and very slow to arrive. As a result we re-evaluated and switched to a different vendor, and in the eval process we disassembled machines and saw just how good claims of repair and reliability were. We ended up with machines with connectors on inexpensive and easily-replaced daughterboards, with modular storage, and with inexpensive replacement plastic housings. It's still expensive if a screen gets smashed, but if someone drops the laptop/convertible-tablet with a USB flash memory stick plugged in we don't necessarily have to replace the whole computer. We can replace a daughter-card with the USB and power input ports for $50, replace the broken bezel surrounding the keyboard for $30, not have to buy a $500 mainboard etc.

Re:user repairability

[Anonymous Coward]

To me it is a huge thing. For example, clean water was accidentally spilled on a lenovo laptop. It was a small amount but enough to ruin the keyboard. Few days and $13 later new keyboard was installed and working perfectly well. Instead of throwing away perfectly good laptop, it is still working and will be working for at least few more years. And it was relatively cheap - under $1000. I would take user repair-ability over portability any time. I don't need to show people my superiority by sitting at Starbucks with a mac book or surface. I actually need to get the job done and need to concentrate while doing it.

Re:user repairability

[TheFakeTimCook]

We ended up with machines with connectors on inexpensive and easily-replaced daughterboards, with modular storage, and with inexpensive replacement plastic housings. I

And the best thing is, it's only 4 inches thick, and 16 inches wide for a 13 inch version!

Surprised you could find any laptop with such antediluvian packaging. Do you realize just how much extra labor those are to build, and how much less of a computer you get, because it still have to be reasonably-priced with an assembly cost of $20 per unit?

Does it have a 486 in it, too?

Re:user repairability

[I'm New Around Here]

Considering the user gets told "Sure we can fix that and get it back you tomorrow", as opposed to "Sorry, your laptop is going to be out of service for at least a week", I'm sure the users are much more content than you would think.

Re:user repairability

[Anonymous Coward]

1. People looove their assigned gear. They will bitch and moan to no end if their ten year old laptop with missing keys gets replaced. Users like the familiar.

2. People quitting because they don't like their company laptop. What insane, entitled world did that thought come from? That's far, far off the deep end.

Re:user repairability

[Obfuscant]

I just repaired my daughters, ...

So you fixed them yourself instead of paying a doctor. Good on 'ya.

Re:user repairability

[TWX]

Users complain no matter what. Users lie too. These both must be considered when planning and implementing widescale IT policy.

In my experience it does not take a long time for users to get used to the replacement computer. It's usually within a matter of hours if the OS version remains the same, or a matter of days when the OS version changes. It takes longer for users to grow accustomed to the OS changing on the same machine than it takes for users to grow accustomed to a new machine with the same OS version.

The only times I've seen significant pushback is when software that they have used is no longer available. This is generally only a few users and generally only specific cases, and usually that software's functions are being migrated to another product.

Re:user repairability

[SeaFox]

I just repaired my daughters, ...

So you fixed them yourself instead of paying a doctor. Good on 'ya.

Hey, he's the original manufacturer...

Re: user repairability

[Anonymous Coward]

I came close to quiting a job over the stock laptop provided by the company. I run ram- and cpu- data analyses, and couldn't believe it when they handed me a 10 yr old dell with 4gb of ram. It took months of arguing to be allowed to use a non-standard high performance machine. People will quit if they can't get the hardware they need to do their job, and they see their career sinking as a result

Re:user repairability

[Voyager529]

I just repaired my daughters, ...

So you fixed them yourself instead of paying a doctor. Good on 'ya.

Hey, he's the original manufacturer...

I'm pretty sure his (ex) wife/girlfriend is the original manufacturer. He's an outside vendor who provided half of the source code.

Re:user repairability

[sheramil]

I've worked in user support and I'd say no. Most of them have defective firmware that prevents any form of updating, even with a very large stick. Better to chuck them away and BUY SOMETHING DIFFERENT NEXT TIME.

fypfy

Re:user repairability

[AmiMoJo]

It looks like even the SSD is soldered on, so it's more like

"We can have it fixed by tomorrow, but all your data is gone..."

Also, after 18 months

"Sorry, the battery warranty has run out and you can't get a third party replacement because fitting it destroys the machine."

Presumably battery replacement cost is the same as a buying a new one.

Bad headline

[93 Escort Wagon]

I suspect most people reading a headline stating "you can't open laptop X without destroying it" will not interpret that as meaning "open the case for repair or upgrade".

I open my laptop all the time... it's the only way to type on the keyboard and view the screen.

Re:Bad headline

[whoever57]

Headless computing is all the rage these days... get with the times, mate!

I tried that, but I am having trouble doing anything without my head.

At least...

[hcs_$reboot]

must be waterproof!

Copying Apple

[ilsaloving]

Okay Microsoft, we get the point. You really wanna be like Apple. You can stop copying Apple now, thx.

Having one major computer vendor with a user-hostile hardware division is more than enough. We should be DIScouraging this behaviour, not encouraging it!

Incidentally, has there been any progress on those 'right to repair' lawsuits I've read about?

Great for taking a shit.

[WolfgangVL]

Bestbuy offers the i7, 16g, 512GB SSD for $2199.

Assuming the battery will last 2 years, that's 91.62/mo. with no extras or failures.

That's 200 soft tacos, or 5 cases of cheap beer. Every month, for 2 years.

I've owned a few surfaces so far. Handy tablets for taking a shit, but the AC adapters are all so horribly designed that they fail within a month or 2. A few warranted replacements before that expired. I eventually went with the cheapo Chinese off brand and its solid and 10% the price.

Within 6 months the magnetic keyboard attachment point for the expensive keyboard stopped working 9 out of 10 times it was attached, and it began missing keys. I never use it anyway, so never got it fixed.

Pro 2 had the exact same problems as the 1, AND the internal SSD went shithouse RIGHT after the warranty expired.

I'll never buy another Surface. They require repairs that simply cannot be done.

But like a I said, great for taking a shit.

Not cool

[markdavis]

Consumers need to know this and punish device makers like this by not buying it and telling them WHY. If you use it a lot, the battery will be shot in just a few years, rendering a very expensive device to the landfill. It is one thing to not have a "user replaceable battery", and another thing to make it difficult, but quite another universe to make it impossible to replace the battery.

First manufacturers lock things down to prevent people from installing their own OS or trying to "unlock" it so that at least they can root it so they can get full control over what they bought. And now this?

Re:Not cool

[duke_cheetah2003]

If you use it a lot, the battery will be shot in just a few years, rendering a very expensive device to the landfill.

This is where I become sad. I am in the electronics recycling business and it's sad times to see manufacturers making devices in such a way that they will never be viable for re-use, by design. So much for striving for sustainability. So much sad. This is wrong on so many levels, I really wish people would look at the big picture when considering purchasing one of these abominations. I don't give a flying F how well it works, when you design something so no one can fix it, you are broken and flawed and need to go away.

It's up to the IT departments that buy this shit to make a statement. You're either for sustainability, or you're not. This product is a slap in the face to sustainability.

Re:Not cool

[sims 2]

Related in companies destroying industries.

Most video sales are very rapidly moving to digital copies i'm starting to see more and more stuff that is digital only that you can't buy physical copies of.

We thought blurays were going to eventually replace dvds but it looks more like online video is going to kill them both before that happens.

This is a problem.
You pay the same amount for a digital copy as you do for a physical copy and while it doesn't get lost (unless the company goes under) or damaged you also can not lend, trade or sell your copy often times you can't even watch your copy offline it's yours permanently with a physical copy you may have been able to buy a blueray set for $30 watch it then sell it to one of your friends for $15 lowering your own net expense.

Second hand sales seem to be theft to the industry possibly of the same level as piracy.

They are doing a very very good job of destroying the used video industry by making sure no one has discs to sell.

As for related to your post.
Why are they making so many laptops now without a hard drive door? It's only the 3rd most replaced part after the battery and keyboard.

Re:yes then they would lose out on $649

[TheFakeTimCook]

M$ is not stupid. They read the apple playbook and took a page out of it.

No they didn't.

This is what is called "Conspicuous Consumption". Like disposable lighters.

Apple would never do this; because they wouldn't want to TRASH that much hardware when a unit comes in for warranty repair.

So no, NOT out of Apple's playbook. More like out of Bic's.

High security

[Anonymous Coward]

The inability to open the case and get inside makes it harder for bad guys to insert tracking and keylogging devices. This might be a good laptop to take through airport security in China, for example. If only it came with a more secure OS...

Right to Repair

[goombah99]

Well, that sort of puts the Right to Repair arguments to rest. No doubt people will still whine about apple but this takes it to a new level.

Re:Right to Repair

[thegarbz]

Right to Repair is not about making sure devices can be disassembled. It's about ensuring that parts are available and that replacing the parts doesn't cause some lockout. There's nothing in the arguments saying that a device needs to be repairable without an ultrasonic spotwelder or without a BGA reflow oven to remove parts.

No one really has complained much about Apple either except for that issue with the error caused by swapping out the TouchID controller.

Right to Repair != Ability to upgrade components. We bitch about the latter a lot.

Re:Kudos to IFixit

[viperidaenz]

I'm sure Microsoft will miss your $0 you may have given them buying a second-hand Surface.some time in the future.

Re:People don't understand Microsoft.

[steveb3210]

Oh Abuse? I came here for an argument.