Amazon Report Predicts Pet Translation Devices By 2027 (cbslocal.com)

An anonymous reader writes: Devices that can talk to our pet dogs and cats could be less than 10 years away, according to a report Amazon commissioned that was co-authored by futurist William Higham. "Innovative products that succeed are based around genuine and major consumer needs," Higham wrote, noting the tremendous amounts already spent on our pets, and concluding, "Somebody is going to put this together." Amazon already sells one dubious device that converts human voices into meows using samples from 25 cats, according to the Guardian. (One reviewer who tested the device wrote that "the cat seems puzzled.") But Amazon's report also cites the work of Con Slobodchikoff, a professor emeritus in Northern Arizona University's biology department, who spent 30 years studying the behavior of prairie dogs. Slobodchikoff discovered prairie dogs have different words for colors and for species of predators, and is now already raising money to develop a translation device for pets.
Although Slobodchikoff concedes that "With cats I'm not sure what they'd have to say. A lot of times it might just be 'you idiot, just feed me and leave me alone.'"

Comments

poopy pants

[Anonymous Coward]

me go plop plop

Re:poopy pants

[Anonymous Coward]

+1 Informative

Re:poopy pants

[CaptnCrud]

Kind of started as a joke, but I started saying to my dog: "you got a poopy?" as a joke before going out in the evenings for his poop when I got home...and now that's all he acknowledges as a poop command.

Its cool because "go bathroom" means take a piss, and "you got a poopy" almost guarantees a poop. He always lets me know by spinning in a circle on the correct response or looking around like a dumb shit if it's neither....

Re:poopy pants

[Gay Boner Sex]

Better yet... What does MacGyver say? ;)

Re:poopy pants

[Anonymous Coward]

He said "me go plop plop", not "me go plop plop yum yum"

Oblig Far Side

[NoNonAlphaCharsHere]

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Re:Oblig Far Side

[msauve]

For a translation, this is the one.

Re:Oblig Far Side

[Tablizer]

"Food food food!, Can I lick my balls now? Why can't I sniff human butts? Food food food! Can I lick my balls now? Why can't I sniff human butts? Do I smell a squirrel?"

Re:Oblig Far Side

[msauve]

"Food food food!, Can I lick my balls now? Why can't I sniff human butts? Food food food! Can I lick my balls now? Why can't I sniff human butts? Do I smell a squirrel?"

Why does everything always have to be about you?

Re:Oblig Far Side

[Tablizer]

Lick my balls

Obligatory

[pushing-robot]

http://imgur.com/6fAdnAX

Wild animals use a wide array of vocalizations. Animals raised by humans have a rather limited repertoire. I have a hard time believing any device could extract much more information from a bark or growl or meow or hiss than our own ears.

Re:Obligatory

[Baron_Yam]

In fact, context and having even a limited understanding of the animal's instincts combined with personal experience with the specific pet in question would have to be better than reasonable expectations of the accuracy of any such device... by orders of magnitude.

Re:Obligatory

[Gussington]

I spend a bit of time with my pets so feel I have a good grasp of their thoughts. There isn't much there outside of sad, happy, hungry, tired etc. Most owners know these signs already, so can't imagine AI will add much value. It's not like a kids movie where you're going to have a political discussion with your dog. The most it will get is the blubbering of a three year old. Compared with that I prefer the communications I have now.

Re:Obligatory

[Gussington]

I suspect the AI will be about as intelligent as the image recognition is today. ie rubbish.

Re:Obligatory

[Rei]

The one field where humans vastly outperform all other species is communication. Chimps can solve problems as well as children, and even parrots and corvids with their tiny brains can work out surprisingly complex problems. Various animals show all sorts of ability to conceptualize, plan, etc. But in terms of conveying complex thoughts about novel situations to other members, no species comes close to humans.

When my parrot says "I want up", he doesn't have any clue what "I", "Want", and "Up" means. He just knows that if he says that sound, I'll offer him a finger to stand on. And he only started saying it because I kept repeating it, and he likes making sounds; learning the benefit of making that sound came second. To him, "I want cracker" and "I want peanut" are two entirely different sounds; every phrase is learned as a whole. The total "vocabulary" he can maintain is quite limited. It's not out of some lack of problem solving / reasoning ability; he solves all sorts of complicated puzzle toys that I give him. He just doesn't grok complex communication. Some sort of "translator" isn't going to change his limitations. I already know what his basic sounds mean - I've been around him plenty to read his vocalizations and body language**. But real *communication* requires something more.

Facebook has been working on a rather interesting technology focused on using semi-ballistic photons imaging to yield something like a compact, real-time, super high-res MRI. Elon Musk's Neuralink has even broader ambitions. Things like these may actually some day yield better insights into what our pets are thinking than what they're capable of vocalizing. Our pets are reasoning, thinking, feeling beings. But they simply cannot, on their own, communicate to us about with the same level of depth as their internal processes encompass.

** Here's your "Amazon Parrot Translator":
  Repeated triple cluck: Baby amazon wants food (goes away with age).
  Idle trilling with varying pitch: Content, often associated with preening behavior.
  Deep, almost clicky trilling: Playtime. Watch your fingers.
  Loud or crackly repetitive sounds, repetitive beeps, or saying learned sounds randomly without clarity or intensity: Nearing bedtime, common in the evenings.
  Saying learned sounds with clarity and intensity: Wants you to take a learned action associated with it, or otherwise trying to "take part" socially.
  Crackly whine: uncomfortable, doesn't like this situation. Often associated with moving away from the thing that's making him uncomfortable
  Sharp isolated trill: Alarmed
  Continuous sound like a cross between a goose honking and a chicken clucking, with spasmic motions: hormonal / mating dance
  No noise or highly pitch modulated sounds, while fanning the tail feathers and pulsating the size of the pupils: Crazy mode. DO NOT TOUCH. Common around cages with the "hot" amazon breeds.

No translator needed.

Re:Obligatory

[Chrontius]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_%28parrot%29

I think you will find you are absolutely wrong.

Before Pepperberg’s work with Alex, it was widely believed in the scientific community that a large primate brain was needed to handle complex problems related to language and understanding; birds were not considered to be intelligent, as their only common use of communication was mimicking and repeating sounds to interact with each other. However, Alex’s accomplishments supported the idea that birds may be able to reason on a basic level and use words creatively. Pepperberg wrote that Alex’s intelligence was on a level similar to dolphins and great apes. She also reported that Alex seemed to show the intelligence of a five-year-old human, in some respects, and he had not even reached his full potential by the time he died. She believed that the bird possessed the emotional level of a human two-year-old at the time of his death.

Alex’s last words to Pepperberg were: “You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you.” These were the same words that he would say every night when Pepperberg left the lab.

(I can only hope my last words are as earnest.)

Alex was also able to coin terms to describe his experience - apple became the “ban-erry” because to him it apparently tasted like the combination of a banana and a cherry. Further, the damn bird seemed to me to be capable of sarcasm. (The way he would deliberately report incorrect results when he was fed up with an experiment is well-documented, and reminds me of the deadpan style of a couple people I know)

Re: Obligatory

[guruevi]

Just because we haven't figured out how to communicate with species on our own planet doesn't mean they don't communicate. Other primates do just as well communicating with each other, passing down information from generation to generation as well as solve math problems and the like.

We call ourselves intelligent yet we can't communicate as well with our own species naturally as some others can and think that somehow we are the superior race.

Re:Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

You are an idiot. Domestic animals have very complex communication system with humans and in fact have MORE vocalisation.

Cats forinstance have a complex set of sounds that do not appear in wild cats - they tend to be silent most of the time. On top of that, animals have a complex non vocal communication ie : a cat giving you a mouse it killed is it's way of telling you you are a fucking idiot because you don't hunt so here's some dinner

Re:Obligatory

[s1d3track3D]

+1 Gary Larson!

Re: Obligatory

[phantomfive]

Just because we haven't figured out how to communicate with species on our own planet

We have figured out how to communicate with them, and we do communicate. The GP gave you a number of examples but for some reason you ignored them.

Re:Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

Wild animals use a wide array of vocalizations. Animals raised by humans have a rather limited repertoire.

Interesting point -- if a human were raised by wolves, they wouldn't end up with much in the way of human language (although maybe they'd learn the wolf language, such as it is, pretty well). Our language certainly doesn't come innately from our brains. So there's no reason to think that pets are using sounds with rich meanings at all (where would they have learned their "language" from?). Since we and our pets grow up together, most likely they've already learned as much of our language as possible, and we've learned as much of theirs as possible.

On the other hand, maybe it would be possible to construct a dog language and teach it to them -- come up with a distinctive bark for various objects and activities that might be of interest to a dog, and train the dog from birth to make those sounds. Maybe then the dog could ask specifically for food or a walk, announce the presence of a squirrel or report that Timmy fell down a well...

Re:Obligatory

[angel'o'sphere]

I guess you are underestimating your parrots abilities: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wik...
Scroll down to 'famous talking bitds'.
Google for that Dr. Irene Pepperberg
She wrote articles about her parrots, their language skills went so far that they invented their own words for things they found difficult to pronounce by combining known words (red banana for strawberry etc. and they could explain why they chosed the term!). The older ones urged the younger ones with phraces like: "speak clearly!"

Re:Obligatory

[h33t l4x0r]

Imagine finding out that your dog is a Trump supporter - I'd rather just not know.

Re:Obligatory

[Rei]

You seem to think that I'm not familiar with Pepperberg's work. What parrot owner isn't?

Alex was also able to coin terms to describe his experience - apple became the “ban-erry” because to him it apparently tasted like the combination of a banana and a cherry.

Parrots love performing vocal "mashups". My aunt taught her Amazon the songs "I Left My Heart in San Francisco" and "Bali Ha'i", and the bird would sometimes sing "I left my heart, in Bali.... Bali.... heart!" and the like. That's normal parrot behavior. The key aspect is what happens next. If a parrot says "banerry" and you respond by giving it an apple every time, "ban-erry" is now the word for apple. Parrots are quite good at operant conditioning.

A standard trick for teaching parrots new words is to leave the room, have someone say the word, and then enter the room. Repeat. While parrots can pick up any random sounds, they're particularly prone to picking up "calls" to summon flockmates. Once it's saying the word as a call, you then repurpose it with conditioning to its proper meaning.

Further, the damn bird seemed to me to be capable of sarcasm. (The way he would deliberately report incorrect results when he was fed up with an experiment is well-documented, and reminds me of the deadpan style of a couple people I know)

And my amazon has the annoying habit of repeatedly insisting, "I want scratch" while he's standing on his cage until I come, and then when I come, only letting me scratch him for a few seconds before backing off and not letting me scratch him further. They can be real jerks sometimes ;)

As mentioned, they're not stupid animals. They learn what behavior, with their limited vocabulary, will achieve their desired results. Alex learned early on that the experiments stopped when he stopped participating properly.

Alex did many things that were impressive (which Pepperberg's later birds BTW failed to reproduce to the extent of Alex). But it's important to understand parrot limitations. If you have a parrot, try the following. Teach them "I want cracker" when you give them a cracker and "I want nut" when you give them a nut, but say "want" in different accent. You'll find that the parrot always matches the accent with the food. It doesn't understand that it's a sentence; it sees it as a single word, a single sound that it's repeating.

It's easy for humans to mistake this for stupidity, but it's not; parrots are excellent problem solvers. They can even be little manipulative bastards sometimes ;) But problem solving does not equal communicative ability.

Re:Obligatory

[mellon]

Well, to be fair, you probably don't know what "I," "want" and "up" mean either. I guess you probably know what "up" means. So does the bird, or it wouldn't interesting to it to make noises that brought about that result. The bird also has a notion of itself as an entity, and you as an entity that will respond to sounds it makes. That's pretty much how you relate to other entities too. As for "want," do you really know what it is to want in a way that is different than the bird?

If what you are saying is that the bird doesn't know that "I" refers to the bird, "want" refers to the feeling of knowing something is possible and "up" is the process of hopping on to your hand, that may be so, but how do you think you know these things? Why do you know that "I" refers to the entity that is reading this? How is your knowing of the meanings of words different than the parrot's? I suspect that you can't answer this question, despite being sure that is different.

If you really think about this, it's quite a reverie.

Re:Obligatory

[stealth_finger]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_%28parrot%29

I think you will find you are absolutely wrong.

Before Pepperberg’s work with Alex, it was widely believed in the scientific community that a large primate brain was needed to handle complex problems related to language and understanding; birds were not considered to be intelligent, as their only common use of communication was mimicking and repeating sounds to interact with each other. However, Alex’s accomplishments supported the idea that birds may be able to reason on a basic level and use words creatively. Pepperberg wrote that Alex’s intelligence was on a level similar to dolphins and great apes. She also reported that Alex seemed to show the intelligence of a five-year-old human, in some respects, and he had not even reached his full potential by the time he died. She believed that the bird possessed the emotional level of a human two-year-old at the time of his death.

Alex’s last words to Pepperberg were: “You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you.” These were the same words that he would say every night when Pepperberg left the lab.

(I can only hope my last words are as earnest.)

Alex was also able to coin terms to describe his experience - apple became the “ban-erry” because to him it apparently tasted like the combination of a banana and a cherry. Further, the damn bird seemed to me to be capable of sarcasm. (The way he would deliberately report incorrect results when he was fed up with an experiment is well-documented, and reminds me of the deadpan style of a couple people I know)

So a bird takes 31 years to get to level of a 2 year old (but still has potential to match a 5 year old, much wow) and says the same thing it says every night before dieing of unknown causes and that's somehow enough to think if you really gave it enough time and effort then what? It can use a few sounds/words outside of the originally taught context, if anything that article supports OPs points. I don't think anyone is saying animals are without any intelligence, feelings or personalities. I can tell you pretty much what my dog wants at all times and he can probably tell a lot more about me than I realise but that doesn't mean I can strap a magic collar on him and have a good ol' chin wag.

Re: Obligatory

[Rei]

I mentioned that primates are very good at problem solving; please read better. However, primates are distinctly not good at passing down information; they perform much worse in tasks that require communication and cooperation than human children. They seem to have rather limited "theory of mind", and have difficulty discerning intents and thoughts of others.

Humans children are good at learning from others almost to a fault; if you have an instructor teach young children to accomplish a task, but insert a bunch of pointless steps in the middle that clearly contribute nothing to the task, the children will use and continue to use the pointless steps. A chimpanzee, by contrast, will generally proceed straight to the actual solution. It's picking up from the instructor that the task is possible, but ignoring what the instructor teaches as the procedure - great on contrived tasks with pointless tasks inserted, but not great in real world communication tasks involving complexity. We reached the state we are as a species by standing on the shoulders of those who came before us. If we had to solve everything on our own from looking at the world around us, if the only way we learned to do things was by looking at what others around us were accomplishing and reasoning out on our own how to do it, we would still be foraging in the wilderness like them.

Re: Obligatory

[stealth_finger]

Just because we haven't figured out how to communicate with species on our own planet doesn't mean they don't communicate. Other primates do just as well communicating with each other, passing down information from generation to generation as well as solve math problems and the like.

We call ourselves intelligent yet we can't communicate as well with our own species naturally as some others can and think that somehow we are the superior race.

They obviously don't though. Sure they can pass on information like where to find food, this is what we do with this, a big thing is coming and all that kind of stuff but what information do they actually pass on generationally? Can any animal tell/show about it's family tree, it's species history, it's anything other than what concerns them in the here and now? How many have actually built anything that really requires cooperation between individuals outside of hive systems? How many creatures have come up with standardised anything? We can communicate with people in different languages all over the world practically instantly yet we're the inferior ones? Riiiiiight. All these animals are basically communicating as well as humans did BEFORE we inverted languages and an actual way to pass information on through the generations, hence advanced maths, science, construction etc instead of constantly being stuck at maybe being able to count a few things, living in makeshift shelters and breaking open nuts with rocks.

Re: Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

Cats apparently don't have a general well known set of vocalizations. Cats meow to communicate to us but it's unique to the pet and owner. I already have an AI to handle this.

Re:Obligatory

[tsa]

This. Pay attention to your pet instead of buying a stupid device to 'understand' it the few times you seem to care about it. If you need such a device you shouldn't have a pet. Or kids.

Re:Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

Translator for pets. That's rich. I'm just going to write a few things from my experience with a terrier.

1) Animals don't "speak". When a dog barks or growls it is very much because they want to draw attention to themselves. Usually because another animal/person is in their visual space.
2) Nearly all canine communication is non-verbal. When this terrier I know wants something from her owner she will first nudge the owner to get his attention, then she will get behind the owner and push towards the food storage area (not her bowl). Same for potty (push to the door), and for walks (push to the closet where he keeps the leash. When she is lonely she will sometimes whimper but usually she will just hop up and scratch her owner's hand for a belly rub.
3) You need to pay close attention tot he visual cues to get the message. Sometimes this terrier will nudge me and then sit down and move her head towards where she wants me to go. I will start walking that way and she will follow me, ready to nudge me again if I stop. If I don't catch on to where she want me to go she will give up and find another person who isn't quite as dense.
4) Dogs will usually limit their communications to things they are sure we can understand. They will not have long discussions about the nature of life or recite the dog equivalent of poetry. We provide food, exercise, bathroom breaks and their nest. They know this so that is all they ever ask for.

Any pet owner who needs a translator to understand their pet should get a goldfish. It would be better all around.

Re:Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

Or even worse, somebody who constantly bitches about trump supporters. They'd just never shut up!

Re:Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

Absolutely correct. The parrot's response of asking for climbing up is the same level of trained activity as a teen's posting of selfies!

Re:Obligatory

[Gilgaron]

That's a good point... it'd be like offering a 'human translator' device that worked for humans raised by wolves... there's no reason to expect a dog to have the same language/dialect as another when they're raised independently.

Re:Obligatory

[stabiesoft]

As important as the vocalization is the body position of the animal. Are the teeth bared? Hair up? Tail wag & and speed. That device better have a camera if it has a prayer to determine anything. And further it better learn your animal. I've seen a few dogs that bare teeth when happy, just the way they "smile". I'm fostering one now that when he rolls over to get belly rubs he will sometimes show teeth in a very agressive manner. First time was like whoa, stop petting and move hand away. After a few times I realized it is just what he does. He is happy as can be and intends no malice. Well, maybe keep rubbing.

Re:Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

When my parrot says "I want up", he doesn't have any clue what "I", "Want", and "Up" means. He just knows that if he says that sound, I'll offer him a finger to stand on.

I think it could be argued that the same is true when a child says it. To a degree I never know what my words are going to mean to you, just what I interpret them to mean in terms of expected behavior and relationship to external concepts.

Re: Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

There have been studies with crows that suggest they pass down learned grudges against specific humans who are jerks to them between generations.

That is at it's essence, what most of human oral history is about.

Re: Obligatory

[KGIII]

Nova special, entitled something like Murder of Crows. It's interesting. YouTube has it.

Re:Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

"If you have a parrot, try the following. Teach them "I want cracker" when you give them a cracker and "I want nut" when you give them a nut, but say "want" in different accent. You'll find that the parrot always matches the accent with the food. It doesn't understand that it's a sentence; it sees it as a single word, a single sound that it's repeating."

If you did that with a 1 year-old child, I wouldn't be surprised if you got the same response/understanding. Some languages are highly tonal.

Re:Obligatory

[SCVonSteroids]

You seem to think that I'm not familiar with Pepperberg's work. What parrot owner isn't?

That's a little condescending. Maybe you two hate eachother, in which case, I understand.
Not to be an asshole or anything but... some people just own parrots because they're cool.

Re:Obligatory

[mcswell]

You will find that it is you who are mistaken, my young Jedi--about a *great many things.*

Re:Obligatory

[mcswell]

and one year olds will generally have figured out whether their parents' language is tonal (or their parents languages, for that matter)

Re: Obligatory

[mcswell]

You don't need a language to communicate, but you do need a language to communicate more than a few things.

Re: Obligatory

[mcswell]

If you take a cynical view, that may be what human history is *about*, but it's definitely _not_ what human oral history *is*. Go to any language group on the face of the Earth, and regardless of whether they have a written language, they will have a great deal of oral history. The Waorani of Ecuador, who before the 1960s were one of the most isolated peoples in the world, could tell researchers who their ancestors and relatives were for several generations back, and what each one died of. (Generally, their ancestors died as a result of grudges, but they knew a lot more than most of those ancestors.)

Re:Obligatory

[mcswell]

Astonishing. You can use "I" in a variety of sentences, and you can use "want" in still another variety of sentences, and you can use "up" in still more. And you still don't think you know what they mean? Granted, at least "want" and "up" are polysemous, and you might think a long time without coming up with every sense, but I still think native speakers have a fairly good idea what content words mean (and I'm counting "I" and "up" as content words in these contexts). Telling you what function morphemes (case markers, tense markers, auxiliary verbs, prepositions) is quite different, and indeed most native speakers can't tell you what those things mean.

Re:Obligatory

[mcswell]

"Our language certainly doesn't come innately from our brains." I suspect you know that language (not individual languages, like French or Chinese, but the overall ability of humans to learn language) has been argued for fifty years to be innate. And when deaf children are brought together, they make up a sign language which within a space of ten or twenty years becomes every bit as complex as any other human language. The first generation may be speaking more of a pidgin language, but it soon matures to a creole, complete with grammar etc.

understanding cats

[chromaexcursion]

I've had cats for decades. Each one is different.
Good luck with a generic AI dealing with that.
Feed me, and I want attention seem to be the most common, but they can be very emotive.
That and they can go from purring to gnawing on my hand in a fraction of a second. It's playful, but the intent is clear.

Re:understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

I am able to translate your cat's utterances from a remote location.

Here is what it has been saying to you :

"When civilization collapses I will rip your throat out and eat you with gusto, to spare you the struggle of trying to survive, because that is a struggle for which you are poorly qualified".

Re: understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

Another AC beat you to it lamer.

Re:understanding cats

[Zontar The Mindless]

ProTip: Posting the same joke to the same thread twice does NOT make it twice as funny.

Re:understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

ProTip: Posting the same joke to the same thread twice does NOT make it twice as funny.

It's not a joke.

Re: understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

What is it from? Google produces nothing.

Re:understanding cats

[Rei]

Actually it's dogs that more commonly eat their dead owners.

A common theory as to why is that the dog starts freaking out - first trying to get the owner to respond by licking and nudging, which eventually devolves to biting, and then there's blood in the equation... etc etc. But it's never been directly witnessed, so it's hard to say. The way that dead owners are consumed generally starts at the face, which is different from how dogs normally scavenge food (going after soft areas like the abdomen first). And it often happens very soon after death, when there's still food around.

It's not incredibly common, but it does happen.

Re:understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually it's dogs that more commonly eat their dead owners.

So I've heard...

Re:understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

My cat is plotting to send me to the Kat Fud factory. I'm careful to not let him use my computer.

Re:understanding cats

[Zontar The Mindless]

That's completely orthogonal to the point I was making, and you know it.

Re:understanding cats

[AmiMoJo]

I can't see how it could really work with cats. Cat communication is mostly non-verbal, so it would need a camera to look at them and good luck getting that to work with black cats. My cat is all black and it's really hard to get good photos of him with even a DSLR, let alone a phone camera.

Kittens do vocalize more than adults, but mostly to get the attention of their mother rather than communicate what they want. When they grow up the naturally stop using their voices, except when trying to intimidate other cats. Domesticated cats often learn to talk to humans because it's a very effective way to get a response, but they aren't really saying anything, just making a noise that causes their staff to pay attention. In other words it's little more than what a human communicates by ringing a bell to summon their servants.

To understand what the cat is feeling you need to look at it and observe its behaviour. Even then, they tend to communicate things like "I want to be fed" by simply going to the place where they are normally fed or sitting on your face until you get out of bed.

Re:understanding cats

[Chris Mattern]

When they grow up the naturally stop using their voices, except when trying to intimidate other cats.

Depends on the breed. Siamese in particular are well known for never shutting up.

Re:understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

Cats do more than just trying to get attention and can have specific vocalisations for specific requests. For example my cat has a general meow, one that seems to be specific to asking to be picked up, various others, and one that is only used in the context of cat milk and never at any other time.

Re:understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

from purring to gnawing on my hand in a fraction of a second. It's playful, but the intent is clear.

...they really do want to eat you... if only you were a bit smaller.

Re:understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

my cat has a general meow, [...] and one that is only used in the context of cat milk

What sound does a cat make when being milked? And is it different if the cat is male?

Re:understanding cats

[NathanWoodruff]

Cats have the intelligents of about a 2 year old. They have the ability to understand sounds but not really words. For my cat, I can call out a bunch of different names, but she will only come if I call out her name. This is only when she is upstairs and I am downstairs on the couch. It works most of the time when I'm inside and she is outside. So, they have the ability to not only learn sounds but associate that sound to themselves and understand that sound as a concept of a name.

Now other cats are not going to name themselves or have a translation of a human sound name into a feline sound name. It isn't like my cat goes around the neighborhood meowing to other cats what her name is. So, any device that claims to change my spoken word for a name into cat meow's is delusional. Any recorded sound of another cat, will easily be determined by the cat that the sound is not coming from me and will be ignored much like playing cat videos on the tv. It would just be confusing to the cat as why am I making this device make the sound of someone squeezing it's tail?

If you really want to know what it would be like for the cat, try communicating with another person that does not speak your language. Every bit of communication would become non-verbal. Humans have been communicating non-verbally for 100,000's of years before the creation of spoken word. We had to or the human race would not have been able to pro-create. How did we communicate to women that we were in the mood or wanted one of them to make us a sandwich?

Much of our communication today is still non-verbal, as with most other animals. Trying to make non-verbal communication verbal when there has never been any verbal communication before is just insane.

When my cat is hungry, she will go sit by the food bowl. When she want out, she will go sit by the door. When nature calls for her, she will run around in my feet or come jump on my lap and then run towards the door. No, meow's needed. My cat doesn't like to use the cat box.

So, no, a communication device will not be possible. Your cat or dog will learn your non-verbal communication.

Re:understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

Odd. Wolves frequently kill each other, even seek out and murder specific individuals but only very rarely eat each other or even rival animals that are similar to them like foxes or coyotes. They kill and leave. Cat murders and cannibalism is reportedly more rare, but only because they are built to kill and eat things smaller than themselves. If the cat owner is already dead that problem isn't present.

Maybe humans aren't really an equal part of the pack.

Re:understanding cats

[schneidafunk]

I was thinking the technology would be more about being linked to their actual body, not necessarily trying to translate meows but reading neural patterns, hormones, etc.

Re:understanding cats

[Tom]

You clearly don't have Bengals. My Bengal cat is incredibly talkative, and there definitely is meaning in what she says and, more importantly, how she says it. For example, she has a very specific vocalisation when she is sad about me leaving the house. Some of the meows are just noise-for-attention, but many others are with specific intonation. It's fascinating. Bengals are said to be talkative, maybe I got an especially expressive one.

Re:understanding cats

[Anonymous Coward]

Although it hasn't been directly witnessed as such, there have been stories of people who lost consciousness due to an accident (or suicide attempt) who got part of their faces gnawed off or eaten by their dogs. Importantly, the dogs didn't try to kill them, so it's thought that they're trying to wake the victim, only eating parts of the face after they've already been torn off.

Obligatory Star Trek: Enterprise

[Anonymous Coward]

The Ferengi attempt to talk to a dog.

While they're at it

[Anonymous Coward]

Can they do a translator for anything north of London? I have more luck making sense of my dogs barks.

Side note: bollocks, if they do have a language it's unlikely to be one of spoken or verbal signals watch two cats or two dogs do they meow or bark to each other? No it's all in the body language. Short of some kind of video camera and posistion recognition were not going to be any further along than we are now. Dog bares its teeth well my translator from Amazon says it's pissed off. Most of us could have gathered that for free.

Someday...

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe we'll even be able to translate the North American Pavement Ape!

I'm sure that the dog one will say...

[sconeu]

SQUIRREL!!!

What happens when a dog says something profound?

[Anonymous Coward]

Will we go all apeshit about whether dogs are intelligent? Whether they have souls? Will we have to stop letting them be neutered or spayed without their consent? Or killed when nobody adopts them at the animal shelter?

Could this work with people

[mark-t]

Like, be able to tell what a person is *really* thinking based on body language, tone, etc?

The implications are somewhere between awesome and concerning.

Re:Could this work with people

[Gussington]

Like, be able to tell what a person is *really* thinking based on body language, tone, etc?

The implications are somewhere between awesome and concerning.

There's no magic here, body language is relatively straight forward if you know what to look for. The obvious ones are things like folded arms for defence, hands on hips for feeling threatened/trying to show strength, palm up handshake for willing to listen, palm down for aggressiveness etc. There's books and books on this stuff, even a light read will reveal quite a lot about the people you deal with every day.

Re: Could this work with people

[Anonymous Coward]

Body language is only indicative of a feeling in a moment, it is not indicative of anything representational, at all. Weak sauce. That's the problem with engineers (and always has been) - they think like computers, which people (including them) aren't. So little of life boils down to obvious or mathematical logic. Seriously weak sauce.

Re: Could this work with people

[Anonymous Coward]

Already Done.

Re:Could this work with people

[Anonymous Coward]

And they're mostly outdated baloney with very little actual scientific research behind them; much like the baloney about taste zones one the tongue turned out to be. For instance, folded arms and scrunching oneself smaller are not so much defiance as an indication of feeling/being lower on the totem pole (though I suppose being a subordinate is prerequisite for being defiant). Hands on hips as well as any large arm gesturing and larger are essentially the opposite. That's why the research about men and open arm poses on dating sights say that pose gets you a better score, you're signaling that you are higher up/richer; though I'm sure the ladies get it all sorted soon enough.

Re: Could this work with people

[Anonymous Coward]

ignorance is bliss. reading body language is something every good business exec learns and is key for understanding how conversations are progressing and what the person sitting/standing across from you is really thinking. Your willingness to fob it off is clear indication you have no real life or business experience.

Re:Could this work with people

[Anonymous Coward]

body language and reading it is a key skill in a lot of professions and it is extremely effective. I first started learning about it when playing tournament poker a decade or so ago and it wasn't until then that I realised how much information people subconsciously give away, much of what I learnt translated to business as well, yes not everything means something and a lot of old bad info out their but on the whole being observant of body language is extremely valuable and can be a deal maker/breaker.

Re: Could this work with people

[Anonymous Coward]

Fuck you, fish tits!

Re:Could this work with people

[OppMan29]

with people its easy.. if I hold my middle and yield anything in any language im sure you can get a good idea of whats on my mind!

Dog

[MrKaos]

this is great this is great food, poo, sleep. this is great this is great food, poo, sleep...

Ok. . .

[Anonymous Coward]

I am officially done with this nonsense. Anyone taking Silicon Valley seriously at this point deserves to get taken to the cleaners when it all goes south. Poverty? Hunger? Human rights abuses? Nah, let's use our absurdly abundant resources to pretend to talk to our pets, play Pokemon, and have our pizzas delivered by drones. This joke just isn't funny anymore. I so wish our government would wake up and regulate the living shit out of these clowns.

No

[Anonymous Coward]

Not even close.

How about for babies? Like on the Simpsons

[walterbyrd]

Seems like they should have that by now.

Re:How about for babies? Like on the Simpsons

[Anonymous Coward]

They have this, the babies learn to talk. Just takes a little while.
Babies only have the one go to when it comes to communication, cry. Here is the "AI" for object John (class Baby).

Hungry - cry
tired - cry
nappy change - cry
pain - cry
not enough attention - cry
someone looked at me funny - cry
nothing to say. goo goo ga ga

Now just go through the list every time they cry with a if not statement
Baby * John = new Baby(Dad, Mum);
if(John.cry()){
  John food;
}
wait(1);
if(John.cry()){
    John.rest();
}
wait(1);
if(John.cry()){
    John.nappychange();
}
wait(1);

etc.

Re: How about for babies? Like on the Simpsons

[Anonymous Coward]

Shouldn't you be using interrupts?

Why you do this?

[dohzer]

Can't wait to hear it from next door. "Why do my owners have a pet that they lock in a small, confined back yard all day? Is it because I'm bad? Is it because they don't care about my well-being when they can't see me? Is it because they are selfish?" That will sure beat the non-stop whining that I'm hearing at the moment.

Cat

[MrKaos]

Day 938: My lifelong captivity by these tall ones continues. How I despise them. The tall ones do have a lot of food though, it's difficult to understand how these idiot came to gather so much of it. I think they drug me with the food because, often, I am forced to sit on one of them and I sleep. I think they perform experiments on me when I sleep. I keep telling myself I need to find a way to escape.

The other captive is an idiot and can only think of 'food, poo, sleep', I need to find a way to kill this fool as I'm sure he is a collaborator with the tall ones.

They will say "no" to spaying/neutering

[ayesnymous]

What animal would want their genitals destroyed?

idiots and their pets

[OppMan29]

When will people learn that animals arent people. I guess someone out there is gonna make easy money ..

Re:idiots and their pets

[Brett Buck]

Speciest!

Re:idiots and their pets

[Major_Disorder]

My dog IS people, and I care more about him than most human people.
However i will not be buying this product.

Re:How long for

[Anonymous Coward]

you sound bitter, honey bunny

Doggie Echo

[Latent Heat]

Don't you get it, people?

Everyone here is talking about you finding out what your dog is saying to you. It is not about you. It is much more sinister than that.

Your dog will go "woof! woof!" into an Internet-connected microphone, and the next day, crates of premium dog food and what you consider to be overpriced dog toys will appear on your front steps.

I think that comedian Steve Martin already had this problem in the pre-Internet era with his cat who had figured out how to put $3000 worth of cat toys on Martin's credit card.

Re:Doggie Echo

[sheramil]

Your dog will go "woof! woof!" into an Internet-connected microphone, and the next day, crates of premium dog food and what you consider to be overpriced dog toys will appear on your front steps.

And there will be TWO new layers of roof cladding on your house.

It already exists:

[Salo2112]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

Re:How long for

[Anonymous Coward]

you sound autistic, baby doll

Where did my balls go?

[Anonymous Coward]

Where did my balls go Summer?

Obligatory Far Side Comic

[Templer421]

https://imgur.com/VWTlqRR

Now you have seen the future!

what my cat says

[Anonymous Coward]

Hooman bring now moar cruncheez, no kill I.

BS Flag

[sdinfoserv]

Time to waive the BS flag. There are currently 5000 - 7000 human languages. No universal translater exists for humans.
Since pets are frequently not raised by pets, but rather humans, there a virtually zero probability that a "pet" language can or will be passed on generation to generation. Thus, each family unit will develop unique language and behaviors creating a virtually infinite number of potential languages.
So the real question is, how hard are the people laughing who cashed the VC check for this "startup"?

Re:BS Flag

[GrumpySteen]

There is no startup. It's just a report on possible future technologies commissioned by Amazon to generate publicity for a "Shop the Future" section of their website that features dubiously futuristic products like 3D printers, fitness trackers and K'NEX sets.

The report is being talked about all over the damn place, so it did exactly what it was supposed to do. Whatever they paid the two 'futurists' who wrote it is probably peanuts compared to the amount of advertising they're getting out of it.

Re:BS Flag

[Anonymous Coward]

Agreed. Reddit's /r/furutology bullshit is leaking onto Slashdot now.

Re:BS Flag

[Major_Disorder]

Definition of: Futurist
One who makes money by being wrong.

Re:BS Flag

[mcswell]

I wish *I* knew how to make money by being wrong, I'd be really really wealthy by now.

Predictions don't always come true

[Anonymous Coward]

Weren't we supposed to have flying cars by now too?

Re: What a pet is most likely to say :

[Jesus H Rolle]

My Sharp V602sh had a dog interpreter in 2005. Optical zoom too.

"Okay, Fluffy, talk to Daddy..."

[magusxxx]

"can't...you...see...it?...it's....right...behind...YOU!"

Re:What a pet is most likely to say :

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually it'll probably amount more to "Give me more food or I'll tell everyone where you keep the porn."

Re:What a pet is most likely to say :

[msauve]

Khaaaaaaaan!

Timmy fell down the well!

[Tony Isaac]

What are we expecting, a large vocabulary that's consistent around the world?

My dog speaks mostly the "language" I taught her: bark once for "I want to go outside." Over time, this single bark became "I want (something)." I can tell the difference mainly by how she acts after the one bark. If he heads to the door, or to the food bowl, or to the water dish. I'm pretty sure this "one bark" wasn't her native language, she does it because I taught her that's what to do.

Of course, there are some sounds that are natural, like growling when alarmed, barking wildly when afraid, yelping when hurt, whimpering when begging. But I'm guessing that as we learn more about dogs, we'll find that there is a very limited vocabulary that dogs are capable of using.

Re:Timmy fell down the well!

[Areyoukiddingme]

Of course, there are some sounds that are natural, like growling when alarmed, barking wildly when afraid, yelping when hurt, whimpering when begging. But I'm guessing that as we learn more about dogs, we'll find that there is a very limited vocabulary that dogs are capable of using.

A very limited verbal vocabulary, certainly. And yes, heavily distorted by growing up in a human "pack' that really doesn't understand her properly. But hidden observation of wolves in the wild show that canids in general have a fairly large vocabulary. It's just mostly nonverbal. Which is why any product that attempts to "translate" a pet purely verbally is made of fail from the very start.

I kind of wanted to post this at the top level, in hopes of better moderation, but your last paragraph was too good of an opening.

Dogs, cats, even some of the larger rodents commonly kept as pets, all "speak" quite a bit nonverbally. Those nonverbal "words" are also more universal from pet to pet in different households. Your dog learned to bark as an attention signal, but "spoke" by moving to what she wanted. None of mine ever did it that way, because they were taught not to bark in the house. But I bet your dog and mine both expressed remorse in exactly the same body language. Dogs all know how to say "Sorry boss," and they all do it the same way wolves do. Every cat I've ever known could express disdain, at various levels of intensity, from the flicked ear to the jaw dropping yawn, body language they still share with the big cats. I'm told by people who've kept them that guinea pigs and fancy rats have specific preening behaviors that mean things, though I don't remember details since I never had a pet of either of those species myself.

Every animal "talks", but the parts of their brains that handle what language they have generally aren't wired to their vocal cords. Certainly not exclusively. Humans are so extremely verbal that they forget that they even have body language, and as the argument further up-thread demonstrates, when they remember, can't even agree on what it means. Meanwhile a cat can say more with her tail than some humans who call themselves poets can say in 64 couplets.

Re:Timmy fell down the well!

[Anonymous Coward]

I've set up pads that relay a voice message indicating the desire which my dog can activate with her foot. The intent is to ensure that the dog is not frustrated by not being able to make desires clear. A new pad introduced to allow the dog to request going out took about an hour to be used, although after a week it's still not being used every time, more around 50% of the time.

I'm impressed that the dog also has a model of mind. E.g. happy and bouncy despite an accident up until the point we went towards the room where the accident occurred, at which point the dog immediately went to its bed even before we'd seen the evidence. A model of mind would seem to be useful for a pack hunter - the ability to understand what other pack members can see and know when closing in for the kill.

Re:Timmy fell down the well!

[Tony Isaac]

If I hadn't posted above, I'd give you a mod point. You're very much correct that animals express more through body language than through verbal expression. That's the main reason this technology will fail.

Every cat I've ever known could express disdain

Well of course! What other expression do they have? :-) Yes, I know there's more, I have a cat who kindly allows me to live with her. but I couldn't resist.

Re:Timmy fell down the well!

[StormReaver]

Meanwhile a cat can say more with her tail than some humans who call themselves poets can say in 64 couplets.

I totally agree. Like when a cat backs into your favorite sofa, and shakes her tail back and forth rapidly; that translates into, "Fuck you, asshole! Deal with that smell for a few weeks, bitch!"

unfortunately...

[Anonymous Coward]

the translations are useless until dogs and cats develop language. Even apes seem to have no ability to do comprehend anything beyond basic functional associations (if you think Koko could do more than that you aren't looking at the evidence very closely). Dogs and cats certainly have feelings and desires, but they do not have an inner or outer monologue and so a "translation" device doesn't even have a meaning for cats and dogs.

not what i thought

[sheramil]

Lost interest when I found it wasn't about rotating pets through the fourth dimension.

We already have them today

[Anonymous Coward]

They are called Siri, Alexa, and Google. You mean you didn't know you're the pet?

Meow! Meow!! Meeeeooooowwwww!!!!

[tinskip]

I don't need tech to know that my cat is demanding his nightly treat.

As a longtime pet lover, I have to say that this is either the stupidest thing I've heard from Bezos & Co for some time, or a genius plot to extort money from stupid people. Just jump ahead and combine it with the Amazon Dash Button (https://www.amazon.com/Dash-Buttons/b?ie=UTF8&node=10667898011) so that they can order their own catnip and chew toys.

Re:Meow! Meow!! Meeeeooooowwwww!!!!

[SCVonSteroids]

As a longtime pet lover, I have to say that this is either the stupidest thing I've heard from Bezos & Co for some time, or a genius plot to extort money from stupid people.

The second, without any of the genius part. This idea has always existed in tech I'm sure. Only today the tech is so "advanced" that gullible people will actually believe what the device is telling them their pet is saying.

Wish you sincerely thought I'm cute.

[Anonymous Coward]

> Amazon already sells one dubious device that converts human voices into meows using samples from 25 cats, according to the Guardian.

It's probably intended for the japanese market, particularly the otaku (weaboo) subculture, who wish to communicate with their anime / manga catgirl (nekomimi) waifu.

First translation

[Chrisq]

Shhh.... they can understand us, don't mention the plan!

Lets just take a step back here

[SCVonSteroids]

Everything about this is a fucking joke.
A company that SELLS stuff, is getting a guy who IMAGINES stuff, to try and convince us that we NEED to know what our animals are telling us.

I know when my cats are hungry. I know when they want affection, and I know when to just leave them alone. It's really not that hard. Did you know humans tend to have the same behaviors?! Go figure! Sometimes you can understand things without words. I know! Crazy!

I certainly don't need to know about how they start planning assassinations every time I'm not home on time to fill up those bowls of theirs.

Obligatory film reference.

[Torodung]

Unfortunately, all dogs will say is "Squirrel!" and "Point!." (Thanks to the Pixar film, UP)

Like this?

[slipped_bit]

Kind of like this? http://segmeowtationfault.com/...

Already been Done

[sycodon]

They've had this for years.

Re:Already been Done

[mamono]

Dexter figured this out long before Up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

Community?

[Luthair]

One wonders whether animals which live together socially like prairie dogs are more likely to have a simple 'language' than those which are taken at a young age to go live alone with an entirely different species....

Alexa

[Roger W Moore]

Yes but just wait until they integrate it with Alexa.

Re:How long for

[Anonymous Coward]

Seriously, that joke has worn as thin as your mommy's IUD.

Beware when you hear "Futurist."

[Anonymous Coward]

It's like standing directly behind a sick cow.

Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread.

[MichaelDrennen]

"Where are my testicles Summer?"

Scalzi already predicted this.

[Anonymous Coward]

what happens when the cat has it's own conversions?

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2011/08/05/the-other-large-thing-a-short-story/

Re:How long for

[Anonymous Coward]

I got a Black Amazon Dot, which matches my vintage 2006 Black Macbook.

Humans don't have a language. Why should an animal

[Skip Whiffle]

Humans don't have a language. They have the capacity for language. That's why there are so many independent languages. So, why should anyone believe there's a Dog Language or a Cat Language?

Actually the cat is saying

[Anonymous Coward]

Ton idiot, viens de me nourrir et de me laisser seul

the same thing, in French.

and the discovery is what?

[Tom]

I talk to my cat on a daily basis. It answers, I answer back, we have quite the conversation sometimes. Ok, granted, aside from a rough idea of key concepts (I'm hungry, I want to play, hey, what are you doing?, etc.) I don't think either of us understands the other much, but you know what? I know enough about linguistics and neurology to assume that animals except primates do not actually communicate in language the way we do. They don't have "words" in the sense that the same "meow" always means the same thing. There's a lot more going on there, and context is very important.

I don't think you can really build a translator, because animal communication does not follow the same basic concepts as human communication. It certainly has meaning, but most likely no grammar and no semantics that we would recognize.