J.J. Abrams To Direct Star Wars: Episode IX; Premiere Date Pushed To December 2019 (theverge.com)

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

J.J. Abrams To Direct Star Wars: Episode IX; Premiere Date Pushed To December 2019 (theverge.com)

Posted by msmash on Tuesday September 12, 2017 @11:30AM from the musical-chair dept.

A week after Jurassic World's Colin Trevorrow was ousted from the Star Wars: Episode IX director's chair, a familiar face has stepped in to replace him: J.J. Abrams, the man responsible for successfully rebooting the new trilogy in 2015 with Star Wars: The Force Awakens. From a report: Disney just pushed back the release of Star Wars: Episode IX from May 2019 to December 2019, Deadline reports. The news comes after an announcement today that J.J. Abrams is taking over from Colin Trevorrow as director of the movie. Episode IX, originally slated to premiere on May 24th, 2019, was supposed to be a return to May release dates for the Star Wars franchise. Back in 2015, The Force Awakens was also originally supposed to be released in the summer, but was moved to a December release after Abrams took over screenwriting duties with Lawrence Kasdan (The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi) and needed more time.

221 comments

Min score:

Reason:

Sort:

Yay... Abrams by JaredOfEuropa · 2017-09-12 11:37 · Score: 2, Insightful

"Reboot" is the right word for The Force Awakens. Are there any writers left in Hollywood these days or is it just a bunch of guys rehashing old material? Though to be fair, I was (relatively) pleasantly surprised by Rogue One.

--
If construction was anything like programming, an incorrectly fitted lock would bring down the entire building...
1. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 12:12 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  Too much grrl power feminism in rogue one. She went from nobody to jedi master in 17 minutes.
2. Re: Yay... Abrams by PoopJuggler · 2017-09-12 12:58 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  I was (relatively) pleasantly surprised by Rogue One.
  
  Ah, so you're the one.
3. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 13:19 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  You must not have watched Star Wars. Luke doesn't duel Vader until two movies in, and he loses. Rey not only duels Darth Teenage Angst, she beats him, in a single movie.
4. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 13:22 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  Luke does not instaneously become a Jedi master. His development is clear and methodical over the course of years and three full length films. We also are given justification in ANH when Ben discussed Luke's heritage for why Luke might have potent sensitivity to the force. Despite that, he even fails at blocking laser bolts with his blast shield down to show us that he isn't picking it up immediately. He also fails at lifting the X-wing in ESB if you need additional evidence.
  We as audience members are not given the same justifications with Rey. Aside from the title being TFA and it doing just that with Rey, we are given little else to help us understand her ability level. The concerns that Rey is a Mary Sue are valid, and covered in more depth by YouTube creators such as banditincorporated.
  First time commenter here. I normally just watch from the sidelines but I couldn't let that comment stand on its own.
5. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 13:25 · Score: 1
  
  I'm also disgusted with the previous AC commenter mixing up Rogue One and TFA. This is news for nerds. Get it right or get off my lawn.
6. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 13:25 · Score: 0
  
  relax dear... don't get your panties twisted
7. Re:Yay... Abrams by quantaman · 2017-09-12 13:34 · Score: 0, Troll
  
  Too much grrl power feminism in rogue one. She went from nobody to jedi master in 17 minutes.
  Because feminism is the only possible explanation for lazy writing.
  Besides, the movie established that she was already a skilled fighter with a staff, those skills are at least somewhat transferable.
  The reformed storm trooper on the other hand, he did massively outperform his plausible light sabre abilities, of course he's a guy so that doesn't really fit your anti-SJW narrative.
  
  --
  I stole this Sig
8. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 13:44 · Score: 0
  
  Though to be fair, I was (relatively) pleasantly surprised by Rogue One.
  LOL, now we know you're just a troll.
9. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 13:45 · Score: 0
  
  I've now considered the possibility that the original comments were actually posted by AI chatbots designed to ignite gender flame wars to sell ads. If so...well done slashdot.
10. Re: Yay... Abrams by gl4ss · 2017-09-12 15:09 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  r1 was okay..
  jj abrams however now has fucked plot sensibilities by screwing over several plot devices(by just being plain fucking stupid and inept at writing a plotline to fit the action he wants that wouldn't piss over everything) of TWO franchises.
  he did it to star trek, he did it to star wars. and for those of not understanding what I'm talking about... force awakens provides a way to use hyperspace in a way that makes plotlines of pretty much all of the previous star wars movies irrelevant - and even force awakens itself!
  the star trek reboot is full of gadgets that make the plotlines stupid, the traveltimes make NO SENSE at all and so forth. klingon homeworld is now literally 1 second or 15 minutes away, depending on your chosen mode of transportation. even fucking Q made more sense.
  
  --
  world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
11. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 15:11 · Score: 4, Informative
  
  > Too much grrl power feminism in rogue one. She went from nobody to jedi master in 17 minutes.
  You're thinking of The Force Awakens.
  In Rogue One she went from nobody to dead in 130 minutes.
12. Re:Yay... Abrams by SvnLyrBrto · 2017-09-12 16:01 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  Um... No.
  Sure, they made her kinda badass... justifiable, seeing as she was basically raised by a rebel fighter a bit too extreme of a fighter for the rest of the rebellion. But besides wearing a kyber crystal around her neck, there was nothing Jedi-like about Jyn Erso at all. The only one who displayed anything like force powers was the blind guy with the bo-staff. Well, him and Darth Vader, of course.
  And strong females are hardly new to Star Wars. Yes, since it was basically "The Hidden Fortress... IN SPAAACE!!!", the narrative of A New Hope required Princess Leia to be in need of rescue. But did you forget that she was already a rebel agent using her senate position and diplomatic status as cover for espionage and started the movie off by:
  1) Passing the Death Star plans off to R2-D2 so her mission would still be completed.
  2) Gunning down Stormtroopers to create a distraction, and:
  3) Telling off Darth Vader himself, before he knew he even had a daughter, and was very much in a larynx-crushing mood.
  
  --
  Imagine all the people...
13. Re: Yay... Abrams by SvnLyrBrto · 2017-09-12 16:17 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  Yeah. But did you look at the how poor Darth Emo's form and technique were? He was a brawler, and not a very good one at that. He had no speed or finesse, and used nothing but power moves... which he telegraphed every time. If it weren't for the fact that his weapon of choice was a goddamned lightsaber, there are bars within walking distance of where I'm sitting right now that he wouldn't be able to enter without getting a serious beating and his ass tossed out into the gutter. (Before you fire off the snark, I'm not claiming to be badass myself. I'd get my ass kicked and tossed into the gutter if I were dumb enough to go to these bars too.).
  
  --
  Imagine all the people...
14. Re:Yay... Abrams by Presence+Eternal · 2017-09-12 16:28 · Score: 1
  
  I seem to remember Finn being mediocre with the sabre. I don't think he won a single fight against anyone who had a weapon that could block, although I might be misremembering. He explicitly couldn't pilot, and his major surprise skill was...gunnery. It's plausible. He was a fine character.
  I remember Rey was good at everything she attempted, and everyone she meets during the plot progression likes or is fascinated by her. "Force awakened desert mechanic" can perhaps explain her entire skillset if you wave your hand enough, but so what? Mary Sues aren't such because they lack an explanation but because they're too wonderful to be plausible protagonists.
15. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 16:46 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  even fucking Q made more sense.
  Somehow I seemed to have missed that episode of TNG (thankfully...that's an image of Picard I probably could never get out of my head).
16. Re:Yay... Abrams by 0123456 · 2017-09-12 16:48 · Score: 0
  
  Dude, it's a Disney Princess movie. If you're taking it that seriously, you probably need some Testosterone injections.
17. Re:Yay... Abrams by quantaman · 2017-09-12 16:53 · Score: 1
  
  I seem to remember Finn being mediocre with the sabre. I don't think he won a single fight against anyone who had a weapon that could block, although I might be misremembering. He explicitly couldn't pilot, and his major surprise skill was...gunnery. It's plausible. He was a fine character.
  I remember Rey was good at everything she attempted, and everyone she meets during the plot progression likes or is fascinated by her. "Force awakened desert mechanic" can perhaps explain her entire skillset if you wave your hand enough, but so what? Mary Sues aren't such because they lack an explanation but because they're too wonderful to be plausible protagonists.
  Force-powers are basically magic so it kinda fits the universe.
  But I think more to the point, in my experience JJ Abrams makes initially great TV shows and crappy movies.
  When he gets a TV shows he actually builds interesting characters and universes until it gets away with him and starts going off the rails in latter seasons.
  But in movies... he just seems to write fan-fiction. That's why Rey sucks as a character, she's not a Mary Sue or feminism gone awry, she's an underdeveloped character. Maybe Abrams doesn't think he has time to develop characters in film or maybe he's too awed by the franchises to take real creative decisions.
  Watch the first 10 minutes of the force awakens, where you have 3 dimensional storm troopers and heroes making tough decisions. It's actually the start of a decent movie and a good reboot of the franchise.
  I wonder what would have happened if he kept making that film instead of switching to a remake of A New Hope.
  
  --
  I stole this Sig
18. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 17:19 · Score: 0
  
  The Force Awakens felt just like a Star Wars film. Rogue One was pretentious and shallow garbage.
19. Re:Yay... Abrams by Johann+Public · 2017-09-12 17:32 · Score: 1
  
  Rogue One was great. The Force Awakens, not so much. I fear what J J Abrams is doing to the franchise. There are so many great stories in the numerous Star Wars novels, e.g. Timothy Zahn, The Truce at Bakura, all the books with Luke's Jedi Temple, Jacen & Jaina Solo, Mara Jade, Grand Admiral Thrawn, etc.!, http://www.yodasdatapad.com/bo... is a great resource to start with. I was also less than charmed by the snap-decision Abrams made re: the Finn character; he ought to have left the character as-is.
20. Re: Yay... Abrams by Johann+Public · 2017-09-12 17:35 · Score: 1
  
  Probably not slashdot, but rather some odious cultural terraforming operation or other. Either that, or useful idiots of some stripe or other.
21. Re:Yay... Abrams by Johann+Public · 2017-09-12 17:37 · Score: 1
  
  Finn was a fine character but there was a rather unnecessary alteration on the discretion of J. J. Abrams, which ruined the character for many.
22. Re:Yay... Abrams by skam240 · 2017-09-12 18:01 · Score: 1
  
  "But in movies... he just seems to write fan-fiction. That's why Rey sucks as a character, she's not a Mary Sue or feminism gone awry, she's an underdeveloped character. Maybe Abrams doesn't think he has time to develop characters in film or maybe he's too awed by the franchises to take real creative decisions."
  I couldnt disagree more. I enjoyed her character far more than Flin or really any new character introduced in the movie. She had some pretty alright character development in fact and I felt her character made for a compelling lead. She was most certainly the very definition of a Mary Sue though. It's well established that Jedi train for ages to develop their skills and she mind controls somebody on her first go? Pilot the millennium falcon like the best of the best even though she's spent her entire life stranded on a desert planet? The list could go on...
  
  --
  I ignore Anonymous Coward posts. If you want to discuss something, that's awesome. Log in.
23. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 18:07 · Score: 0
  
  It's not exactly like Darth Vader is an impressive swordsmen in the original films either, you have to make allowances for the fact it's a film about fictional events.
24. Re: Yay... Abrams by thegarbz · 2017-09-12 18:43 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  But it's cool when Luke does the same thing.
  Rei: Goes from no powers to mind control followed by using the force to fling things around before even getting off the planet they were fleeing, proceeds to kill a Kylo Ren who had been perfecting his powers for years under a Sith master.
  Luke: Unable to sense bolt blasters for an entire space flight. Soon after being taught by the best Jedi master in the universe and spitting the dummy when unable to lift simple stones. Even after a few weeks of training his skill level is still basic. He then proceeds to get his arse kicked.
  Yeah totally the same thing.
25. Re:Yay... Abrams by antdude · 2017-09-12 18:54 · Score: 1
  
  Since R1 did well and was good, I hope there will be more of these.
  
  --
  Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
26. Re: Yay... Abrams by AmiMoJo · 2017-09-12 19:44 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  Kylo Ren is no Darth Vader. He aspires to be, but he's a long way from there in the movie. And don't forget that Vader lost to Obi Wan pretty decisively, losing three limbs and nearly dying, when a similar age to Ren. And Ren is already injured when the fight gets started.
  I think the bottom line is that when force sensitive individuals start waving light sabres around, a weapon that will hack of a limb with a mere touch, all bets are off.
  
  --
  const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
  SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
27. Re: Yay... Abrams by AmiMoJo · 2017-09-12 20:09 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  While Rey's development is a bit rushed, it was probably a consequence of Mark Hamil getting old more than anything. If he were younger the central character would probably have been Luke fighting a resurgence of the Sith/Empire.
  Having said that, what extraordinary abilities does she actually demonstrate during that film? She manages to pilot the Falcon reasonably well, and barely escape a fight with Kylo Ren without really beating him, and of course Ren's abilities are nothing like as developed as Vader's were - even his light sabre is a crude imitation, unable to produce the smooth, controlled beam that well made ones could. The "guard" actually seems to be an exhaust of some sort for the poorly controlled power supply.
  Hopefully the next film will explain a lot more about who Rey is and why she has strong force powers. My guess would be that she is related to Luke somehow, or maybe Kylo.
  
  --
  const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
  SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
28. Re:Yay... Abrams by rtb61 · 2017-09-12 20:09 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  The problem is Jar Jar Abrams is strictly second set, knows how to do actions scenes but is crap at telling a story and family connections gets him the work. In the end instead of the actions scenes just being bits to tell the story, the actions scenes become the story and the story are just same nothing bits used to try to stitch the action scenes together. Crappy action scenes that do nothing much for the story but they look OK. Jar Jar Abrams the franchise killer.
  
  --
  Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
29. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 20:54 · Score: 0
  
  It's not exactly like Darth Vader is an impressive swordsmen in the original films either, you have to make allowances for the fact it's a film about fictional events.
  No, no I don't.
30. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 20:55 · Score: 0
  
  It's "well established".... but on the other hand, the only other two jedi we see in the films are Luke and Anakin. Anakin, untrained and extremely young, had exceptional flying skills which we see in the podrace and the bit where he accidentally flies off to the space battle in the trade federation mothership and wins the battle single-handed, and Luke, though he was a bit shaky practising blindfolded against the drone, very quickly was able to use his force skills to evade his father's TIE fighter in a highly confined trench run and also bullseye a tiny target that was clearly well beyond the skill of other very experienced rebel pilots. Luke's main problem was raising the TIE figher from the swamp on Dagobah, but he came to force use late and that's a pretty incredible thing to believe you can do (force use seems to depend to an extent on belief), so he struggled. Whereas I don't think fighting is like that: anyone can pick up a stick (or a light saber) and believe they can try to fight with it.
  I think the jedi picked up the basic force-using skills pretty quickly; the extended training was probably more about concentration, focus, morality and avoiding the dark side than actual force skill development.
  Given we don't yet know all of Rey's backstory I don't think her character can yet be claimed to be unjustified. In the context of one film perhaps it feels a bit Mary-Sue, but definitely no more so than young Anakin, and probably explainably so assuming Ep8 does a decent job of filling in the gaps.
31. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 21:15 · Score: 1
  
  Show me a nearly guaranteed small return and I can find you $300m+ in capital to make another boring movie.
32. Re: Yay... Abrams by hackwrench · 2017-09-12 21:19 · Score: 1
  
  I think she may be related to Obi Wan Kenobi.
33. Re: Yay... Abrams by GeekWithAKnife · 2017-09-12 21:37 · Score: 2
  
  Luke does not instaneously become a Jedi master. His development is clear and methodical over the course of years and three full length films. We also are given justification in ANH when Ben discussed Luke's heritage for why Luke might have potent sensitivity to the force. Despite that, he even fails at blocking laser bolts with his blast shield down to show us that he isn't picking it up immediately. He also fails at lifting the X-wing in ESB if you need additional evidence. We as audience members are not given the same justifications with Rey. Aside from the title being TFA and it doing just that with Rey, we are given little else to help us understand her ability level. The concerns that Rey is a Mary Sue are valid, and covered in more depth by YouTube creators such as banditincorporated. First time commenter here. I normally just watch from the sidelines but I couldn't let that comment stand on its own.
  Dude, you hide your bias well enough but it;s clear that you are being sexist! Just because she's a girl does not mean she cannot go from starship dumpster diver to supremo jedi -The force was "calling out" to her. The bug-eyed lady said so! (And Kylo told supreme leader that she's powerful, more than she knows - although he didn't talk to her about how much she thinks she's powerful so it was a bit ???)
  
  Anyways, you think it didn't have justification? That there's not enough development but in reality all the movie is doing is catching up to all the content released in games for so many years. -did you not play KOTOR?? After 40 minutes of game play my character was shooting force lightning twice a battle. That's fucking cool! -now if you wanna see a proper evolution and progression Annakin going from accidental boy pod fixer genius to evil pregnant wife choking sith that's the story arc to match.(!)
  
  You are too concerned with boring parallels that no one cares about. You;re probably just being nostalgic of those old awful films. You want me to see that Empire Strike's Back boringest movie again where the Jedi gets lost, loses his space ship, fails to train well and then loses to that Vader dude? - My emotional life is difficult enough I don't need that "No Luke I am your brother" baggage stuff.
  
  Seriously why do I have to wait three movies for some wannabe jedi to master the force? Cant we just get to the cool part of the story where the force is actually mastered and proceed to kick all the baddies' asses and have like 13 Siths die every minute? Let's get them back for what they did to the younglings in the Jedi temple. Obi Wan brought me to tears when he said Darth Annakin was killing younglings!!!
  
  Look all that stuff is boring. The cool bit was whenre the green dude was fighting that force lightning fellah. We need more of that! Just imagine it now; against an all powerful Jedi master the Siths will become like cannon fodder, basically. At the end, after almost losing to a super trained Kylo Ren, Rey can do the force Hadouken on him against a large rock like that game cinematic thing. The scenes are gonna be so stylistically dense AND we'll get lens flare. Maybe the force will call out to Finn too (trends well with ethnic groups) and then he and Rey can be like a mixed race Jedi power couple that kicks ass. This is gonna be amazing!!!
  
  (I've noticed a lot of people miss it so I must add a May the 4th /sarcasm be with you flag. There.)
  
  --
  A 'singular oddity' is an event that cannot be explained and only happens when you are alone.
34. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 22:10 · Score: 0
  
  That wizard is just a crazy old man.
35. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 22:14 · Score: 0
  
  Luke is also far less competent than Rey. Yes it took him 3 movies to become a Jedi master but it also took him three movies to stop whining like a bitch. Rey would never give up on on lifting the X-wing. Rey's never had the privilege of throwing her hands up in the air and blaming everything on her uncle or Yoda. Rey is self-reliant, independent and has been improvising to survive her entire life. It's entirely believable that such a person could access the force more intuitively than Luke.
  I love that the same people who complain about the similarities between VII and IV are the same people complaining that Rey isn't exactly like Luke. The movie did have some minor pacing issues like all contemporary blockbusters, luckily not as bad as most. But overall ep VII is very respectful of the fans and the SW universe.
36. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 22:48 · Score: 1
  
  The best explanation I've seen is the following by an anonymous commenter:
  Imagine the events of Episode IV are part of a RPG campaign module. A New Hope is a game that features a well balanced party of adventurers. Luke, Han, Chewie, Obi Wan, Leia, R2, 3pO. They generally fit into archetypical roles like rogue, wizard, fighter, cleric, etc. More importantly, they complement each others' skills and abilities and function as a team. They're all at different power levels, but each one is important, so much so that if any had been missing, their quest would have failed. The unseen GM of A New Hope matches the players against enemies and situations that challenge them, and does a good job of keeping stakes high and the events moving forward. The game is exciting, players are invested, and at the end, the victory feels earned and everyone feels like they contributed something to the campaign. -- The Force Awakens is the same module played by a party that includes the GM's girlfriend.
37. Re:Yay... Abrams by Nocturna81 · 2017-09-12 23:12 · Score: 1
  
  What exactly was the alteration? Never heard what he originally was supposed to be or do.
38. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 23:28 · Score: 0
  
  Too much grrl power feminism in rogue one. She went from nobody to jedi master in 17 minutes.
  There was no jedi in rogue one.
39. Re: Yay... Abrams by drinkypoo · 2017-09-12 23:30 · Score: 1
  
  It's not exactly like Darth Vader is an impressive swordsmen in the original films either, you have to make allowances for the fact it's a film about fictional events.
  Vader IS an impressive swordsman in the original films. It's just that Kenobi is also an impressive swordsman. You wouldn't expect Vader to just walk up and crush him immediately. Same for Luke, later. You don't find his style impressive, but he's able to crush people without fancy bullshit, or many of his internal organs.
  
  --
  "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
40. Re: Yay... Abrams by AmiMoJo · 2017-09-12 23:38 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  Rei: Goes from no powers to mind control followed by using the force to fling things around before even getting off the planet they were fleeing, proceeds to kill a Kylo Ren who had been perfecting his powers for years under a Sith master.
  Your argument would be more convincing if you managed to get basic details about the movie correct.
  Rei's mind control powers only emerged after Kylo Ren had demonstrated them to her when trying to interrogate her. At the time she was strapped to an interrogation table waiting to be tortured, implying that the stress pushed her to use force powers. That's consistent with how force powers manifested for other users, e.g. Luke when he needs to make that critical shot, or contact his sister to be rescued after losing to Vader. It's well established that stress and powerful emotions like anger interact with force abilities.
  Rei also failed to kill Kylo Ren. The battle ended in something of a stalemate, and Ren started out carrying an injury.
  Ren's force powers seem to be relatively weak. He doesn't demonstrate anything like the power that other trained users did, and none of the typical dark side stuff like lightning or force-choking. His light sabre is also pretty poor quality, unable to form a solid steady beam. It's not clear how much training he has had, that hasn't been revealed yet, he seems to lack the discipline that Vader and other Sith had, being prone to emotional outbursts and still struggling with links to his family (which is why killing Han is so important).
  
  Even after a few weeks of training his skill level is still basic. He then proceeds to get his arse kicked.
  Right, because he didn't have enough training. After that he trains by himself, with no guidance, for an unspecified period of time but it only seems to be a year at most between ESB and ROTJ. At that point he has got good enough not only to beat Vader but the Emperor as well, at the same time.
  Maybe, as every DBZ fan eventually realizes, power levels are bullshit.
  
  --
  const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
  SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
41. Re:Yay... Abrams by AmiMoJo · 2017-09-12 23:40 · Score: 1
  
  You realize that Abrams directed the last one, and after it's massive success (one of the most profitable movies of all time) it's spawned not only two sequels but at least two spin-offs and likely many more.
  If that's killing a franchise then what do you consider success?
  
  --
  const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
  SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
42. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 23:52 · Score: 0
  
  Vader IS an impressive swordsman in the original films. It's just that Kenobi is also an impressive swordsman.
  I suspect the AC you replied to would say Kenobi isn't an impressive swordsman either. He's probably referring to the fact that the original trilogy was very basic in the "swordfighting" technique whereas the prequels/TFA are all fancy pants moves in CGI environments (flips, jumps, spins, 2 vs 1 fight, balancing over lava, fighting on an exploding planet, etc)
43. Re: Yay... Abrams by LordKronos · 2017-09-12 23:56 · Score: 1
  
  You must not have watched Star Wars. Luke doesn't duel Vader until two movies in, and he loses. Rey not only duels Darth Teenage Angst, she beats him, in a single movie.
  Yes, but since TFA was really just bits and pieces of the original trilogy all squished into a single movie, that doesn't really negate the point...Rey's 1-episode-transformation is just Luke's 3-episode-transformation squished into a single movie.
44. Re:Yay... Abrams by thegarbz · 2017-09-13 00:11 · Score: 1
  
  "Reboot" is the right word for The Force Awakens. Are there any writers left in Hollywood these days or is it just a bunch of guys rehashing old material?
  A reboot is exactly what the fans wanted. Don't blame the writers, The Force Awakens was a purposeful fan-service story produced by formula.
45. Re: Yay... Abrams by thegarbz · 2017-09-13 00:15 · Score: 1
  
  Rei's mind control powers only emerged after Kylo Ren had demonstrated them to her when trying to interrogate her.
  That toooootally makes her less of a Mary Sue.
  
  Rei also failed to kill Kylo Ren.
  That was due to a deus ex machina in reverse saving the bad guy who just finished getting his arse handed to him.
  
  Right, because he didn't have enough training.
  Kind of my point and further highlighting the fact that Luke is a normal character while Rei is a Mary Sue.
46. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 00:27 · Score: 0
  
  force awakens provides a way to use hyperspace in a way that makes plotlines of pretty much all of the previous star wars movies irrelevant - and even force awakens itself!
  Can you please explain what you are referring to? I was guessing the fractional shield hyperspace thing, which I agree was pretty cheap and invalidates a huge plot element of RotJ, but I'm not seeing how it affects any of the other 5 preceding movies. So perhaps you mean something else
47. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 00:27 · Score: 0
  
  A reboot is exactly what the fans wanted. Don't blame the writers, The Force Awakens was a purposeful fan-service story produced by formula.
  Uh, no, I don't know any fans who were clamoring for "rehash the same stories with new characters."
  The fans wanted to see what happens to Luke, Han and Leia. TFA was the "what happens to Han" story but only in a sidelined, marginal way. Han deserved better.
48. Re: Yay... Abrams by Gilgaron · 2017-09-13 00:39 · Score: 1
  
  Ren had been gutshot with a weapon they'd gone to pains to show tossing around stormtroopers like they were ragdolls earlier in the film. Rey would've won the fight if she managed to just not be killed for long enough.
49. Re: Yay... Abrams by drinkypoo · 2017-09-13 00:44 · Score: 1
  
  He's probably referring to the fact that the original trilogy was very basic in the "swordfighting" technique whereas the prequels/TFA are all fancy pants moves in CGI environments (flips, jumps, spins, 2 vs 1 fight, balancing over lava, fighting on an exploding planet, etc)
  All those fancy pants moves are BS if they just lead to protracted fights. Those stupid spin and flip fight scenes are exactly what's wrong with the newer movies. Story? Fuck story! We've got super spinball Yoda!
  
  --
  "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
50. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 01:05 · Score: 0
  
  Rey's 1-episode-transformation is just Luke's 3-episode-transformation squished into a single movie.
  She's filled with midichlorians!
  Got 'em coming out of her eyes, coming out of her... wherever.
51. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 01:10 · Score: 0
  
  KISS is a very successful band, and Gene Simmons is very rich as a result.
  Doesn't mean it's great music.
52. Re:Yay... Abrams by penandpaper · 2017-09-13 01:48 · Score: 3, Informative
  
  Abrams directed Force Awakens. But Gareth Edwards directed Rogue One. Edwards normally directed monster movies in the past and in showed in Rogue One.
  On a personal note, Rogue One was infinitely better to watch than Force Awakens.
53. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 02:09 · Score: 0
  
  Perhaps the love child of Kenobi and Aunt Beru?
54. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 02:13 · Score: 0
  
  So many seem to miss the fact that at the end of "Into Darkness" you have "Super blood" and a transporter that can move you from Earth to Khronos. So, red shirts finally need not die and Starfleet is as useful as breasts on a bull. There is literally no reason to have starships...
55. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 02:13 · Score: 0
  
  > Perhaps the love child of Kenobi and Aunt Beru?
  That wizard's just a dirty old man...
56. Re: Yay... Abrams by JackieBrown · 2017-09-13 02:32 · Score: 1
  
  Drop your flamebait signature and maybe you won't get modded as flamebait. Whether you like it or not, it is part of your post.
  By having that as part of your post, you make it a topic.
  Up to you, just a suggestion. Might even be a bad one :)
57. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 02:36 · Score: 0
  
  If I recall correctly, Rogue One and The Force Awakens were different movies.
58. Re:Yay... Abrams by kilfarsnar · 2017-09-13 02:40 · Score: 1
  
  Too much grrl power feminism in rogue one. She went from nobody to jedi master in 17 minutes.
  Who did? Rey wasn't in Rogue One.
  
  --
  "What the American public doesn't know is what makes them the American public." -Ray Zalinsky (Tommy Boy)
59. Re: Yay... Abrams by penandpaper · 2017-09-13 02:43 · Score: 1
  
  I would hardly say he beat the Emperor when it was Vader that made the killing throw. He refused to fight. Saying he beat the Emperor and Vader at the same time is just wrong. He beat Vader. He refused to fight Emperor. Vader has emotional break and betrays Emperor. Then they have roasted Ewoks for dinner.
60. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 02:48 · Score: 0
  
  I would say she went from nobody to dead *rebel* in 130. At the start she gave no fucks about the Rebellion at the end she was willing to die for it. Actual character development and progression albeit tragic. Unlike the prior Force Awakens, why have character progression when you can have stale can-do-anythings that are literally the same character by the end of the movie?
61. Re: Yay... Abrams by UnknowingFool · 2017-09-13 03:07 · Score: 1
  
  Also Ren's directive was to capture her, not kill her. Rey didn't have such limitations. She could have killed Ren if she wanted to kill him.
  
  --
  Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
62. Re: Yay... Abrams by UnknowingFool · 2017-09-13 03:13 · Score: 1
  
  Rey beat a badly injured Ren who is bleeding profusely. She beat a Kylo Ren who doesn't seem like he's been trained very well in sword fighting. I guess his crudely made lightsaber is symbolic of his training. He appears to be more of a hack-and-slash fighter than a fencer and in the ending, Snook says it is time to complete his training. Contrast that to the original trilogy: Vader is a master swordsman who was playing with Luke in Empire. However both Vader and Ren are not out to kill; their motive is to capture which limits what they can do.
  
  --
  Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
63. Re: Yay... Abrams by I've+Got+Three+Cats · 2017-09-13 03:17 · Score: 1
  
  But it's cool when Luke does the same thing. Why don't you go jack off your loser mens' rights buddies at a misogyny convention or something instead of polluting the forum here.
  It took 3 movies for Luke to become a Jedi Master, so no, Luke did not do the same thing. Whatever the reason, these days no one wants to wait that long for the Dopamine payoff. Hell, pretty soon even 17 min will seem "long".
64. Re:Yay... Abrams by serviscope_minor · 2017-09-13 03:20 · Score: 1
  
  Nah I preferred the Force awakens. The beginning of rogue one was a complete mess, far too many places and people. Characters weren't great then has the classic everyone dies in reverse order of importance thing near the end.
  Then oh hey look everyone's going to die! Who cares more lasers pew pew!
  The ending was super hackneyed.
  Just my opinion obviously. One can't logic someone into changing how much they enjoyed something :)
  
  --
  SJW n. One who posts facts.
65. Re: Yay... Abrams by Sindar+By+Choice · 2017-09-13 03:26 · Score: 0
  
  Mod Points!!!
66. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 03:52 · Score: 0
  
  It's a way of shutting down debate without expending any effort to think. Combination strawman (nobody broadly applies the SJW label to people just because they dislike them) and ad hominem (I don't have to consider what you're actually saying because "you're a fuckwit").
  It also conveniently ignores that SJWs proudly applied the term to themselves, without irony, before 2011. Then Gamergate turned it into a pejorative term when people realized how self-righteously ridiculous it is.
67. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 03:56 · Score: 1
  
  I normally just watch from the sidelines but I couldn't let that comment stand on its own.
  /. is about 70% global warming deniers, pizzagaters, russian trolls, phrenologists, etc....but I'm glad someone is finally starting to claw back some online decency by clarifying Luke Skywalker's jedi training program. I think its finally all going to be ok!
68. Re: Yay... Abrams by I've+Got+Three+Cats · 2017-09-13 03:57 · Score: 1
  
  You must not have watched Star Wars. Luke doesn't duel Vader until two movies in, and he loses. Rey not only duels Darth Teenage Angst, she beats him, in a single movie.
  If you think about it, even Luke's transition from zero to hero was blazing fast. In Ep 1 we see that the typical path to Jedi Master is to start young and take 20 yrs. Even Yoda said Luke was "too old". So Luke's run to master was already an extreme exception; and he barely managed to squeak out a victory in the end. Recall that he would have been burnt toast had Vader not tossed the Emperor over the railing. Now, it takes half a movie with the hero acing the bad guy with a Mortal Kombat finishing move. So if you consider it along a single time line, zero-to-hero has gone from decades (Ep1-3), to years (Ep4-6), to... what weeks? Months?
  And frankly, I think that's what people wanted to see. These days, nobody wants to wait 3 movies for the cool transition to power; so Abrams sure as hell wasn't going to retell the Luke story in 3 movies. He did what he had to do and crammed it all into one.
69. Re:Yay... Abrams by penandpaper · 2017-09-13 04:07 · Score: 1
  
  Agreed there were things wrong with it ( Satellite not aligned annoying computer voice and only solution is across that rickety bridge overlooking vast scariness. the beginning did jump a lot), but overall it was a film I was wanting to watch again (unlike TFA). I also enjoyed the character archs of many in r1.
  You didn't like the ending? I really liked it and it really played into what Edwards normally directs and I thought he did a great climax to the movie. Vadar was actually terrifying beyond reputation. The Death Star was majestic with the hopelessness it delivered on the horizon (that's no moon!). It was the darker side (no pun intended) for Star Wars that ESB initially started.
  As far as the trope of people dying in reverse order of importance is to be expected with movies or storytelling in general. The idea is that you should care about those characters the most because you spend most time getting to know those characters. There has to be some relief after those kind of events. For R1, the entire climax was everyone died and the plans barely escaped but the empire seems unstoppable. The relief is nostalgia from ANH knowing that they didn't die for nothing. Honestly, that is something unique in movies I haven't seen very much. It's usually comic. (bad CGI dead actors be damned)
  Any whoo. I am still deciding if I want to gamble on another JJ Abrams. He's like Michael Bay.
70. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 04:21 · Score: 0
  
  Even after a few weeks of training his skill level is still basic.
  Obviously because the force works better with estrogen. Kinda how companies with women CEO's outperform the SP500 by 3x!
71. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 05:11 · Score: 0
  
  How do you know the story isn't a documentary from a long time ago, broadcast from a galaxy far, far away?
72. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 05:37 · Score: 0
  
  Wait, so there are bars operating near you where people will be assaulted just for going in? How do they stay in business and why hasn't anyone reported these violent gangs to the police.
  Personally, I'd just shoot any fucker who laid a hand on me in the head and continue having my drink over their corpse.
73. Re: Yay... Abrams by RavenLrD20k · 2017-09-13 05:50 · Score: 2
  
  "The echo chamber is getting worse every day."
  Kinda like Lando's deal with the Empire?
74. Re: Yay... Abrams by penandpaper · 2017-09-13 06:13 · Score: 1
  
  Fancy pants are best pants. :P
75. Re:Yay... Abrams by JaredOfEuropa · 2017-09-13 06:18 · Score: 1
  
  It was more of a "requel" perhaps. A reboot that is also a sequel. Still lame. And I don't pretend to know what the fans did or didn't want, but parent is right in that this movie fits the formula Hollywood discovered a while back: nothing risky, nothing exceptional either. As Wayne said: "Led Zeppelin didn't write songs everybody likes, they left that to the Bee Gees". Well, it's all Bee Gees from here on in.
  
  --
  If construction was anything like programming, an incorrectly fitted lock would bring down the entire building...
76. Re: Yay... Abrams by penandpaper · 2017-09-13 06:51 · Score: 1
  
  Seriously why do I have to wait three movies for some wannabe jedi to master the force? Cant we just get to the cool part of the story where the force is actually mastered and proceed to kick all the baddies' asses and have like 13 Siths die every minute?
  IOW, bad story telling and more lens flare? Part of what made the originals good is because they followed the traditional story arch that has been used for millennia. There is conflict, struggle and triumph. Why would you care about the characters if there is no struggle? Part of what made TFA a bad story was that there was nothing to challenge Rey. Nothing for her to struggle against. In the originals, Luke consistently fails but through struggle and training overcomes those failures. Everyone alive today can apply those lessons to their own life. No one can identify with Ren (unless your a shallow sexist only caring about sex and race) because everything is handed to her through poor story telling. You can argue the same for Luke but you see him fail. You see him struggle and train to overcome those failures. You see him overcome his greatest challenge because of his past struggles.
  Good story telling is much more about how you get to the ending than the ending itself.
77. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 06:59 · Score: 0
  
  pizzagaters
  
  *puts on tin foil hat*
  http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/...
  *takes off tin foil hat*
78. Re: Yay... Abrams by sexconker · 2017-09-13 07:21 · Score: 1
  
  Ren's force powers seem to be relatively weak. He doesn't demonstrate anything like the power that other trained users did, and none of the typical dark side stuff like lightning or force-choking. His light sabre is also pretty poor quality, unable to form a solid steady beam.
  Did you miss the beginning of the movie? Lena Dunham's boyfriend is shown burninating a village like Trogdor while stopping blaster shots in the air. He was clearly shown as having the strongest force abilities ever seen in the series*.
  Kylo Ren's Super Vader 2.0 EX+ Beta level of power was offset by his absolutely awful angsty bitch personality. His light saber isn't a reflection of his abilities. Fucking light sabers aren't force controlled. They're just machines that run on a crystal. He picked a shitty design because he's an unstable emo little bitch.
  *Perhaps with the exception of Palpatine, since he was implied to have "Force Immaculate Conception"ed Anakin, "Force Lose The Will To Live"d Padme, and "Force Prevent Death"ed Anakin's torso, head, and remaining limb. And yes, all of these things are strongly implied. Palpatine's plan as we see it starts out by sending a lackey to grab a boy who was, according to his mother, conceived out of thin air. Palpatine then grooms Anakin and tells him about the dark side's powers over life and death itself. Then Palpatine demonstrates those powers when Padme dies for no fucking reason (according to the OBGYN droid) and Anakin is kept alive and remade Frankenstein-style (complete with a matching shot of his first steps). Finally, Palpatine finishes his plan by telling Anakin, "Oops, u killed Padme tho.", thus pushing Anakin fully over to the dark side. And yeah, Palpatine was behind Anakin's mother dying, wake up. He also had the ability to deceive the entire Jedi Council and weaken their connection to The Force.
  In the original trilogy, the Empire is apparently concerned with quashing the Rebels. But the Emperor and Vader are far more concerned with Luke, just as the whole rigmarole in the prequels was a sideshow to Palpatine getting his new twink. Everything Palpatine did was for his apprentices. In the original trilogy, Vader is basically a cuck. The Emperor is his master, and he's being tasked with finding Luke to be the Emperor's new boytoy, and his own replacement.
  The real plot of Star Wars has nothing to do trade blockades, politics, Death Stars, clone wars, or even the Empire. Those are just the background machinations of a Sith Lord getting a Force Boner for apprentices. Everything of importance in Star Wars up until the end of Episode 6 was orchestrated by the Emperor. He literally fucking tells us this. "Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design."
79. Re: Yay... Abrams by Rakarra · 2017-09-13 08:44 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  Yeah. But did you look at the how poor Darth Emo's form and technique were? He was a brawler, and not a very good one at that.
  
  Also, he had already been shot in the side by Chewbacca, a pretty critical wound. You'd think something like that would weaken a guy. He was still able to pretty easily handle Finn, but his second fight gets him into trouble.
  I still feel like Rei developed mastery of The Force in a ridiculously short amount of time. Like... 5 minutes after she first learns she can use The Force she's already mind-controlling Daniel Craig.
80. Re: Yay... Abrams by Rakarra · 2017-09-13 08:51 · Score: 1
  
  All those fancy pants moves are BS if they just lead to protracted fights. Those stupid spin and flip fight scenes are exactly what's wrong with the newer movies. Story? Fuck story! We've got super spinball Yoda!
  One of the things I hated about the prequels was that everyone strong in The Force was a master light-saber fighter (well, except for those numbnuts that the emperor slaughtered when Anakin and Windu came to arrest him..). Like.. there wasn't room for anything else, they were somehow all spinning, leaping fighters. I like Yoda's role as the wise elder teacher from Empire. He wasn't bouncing in and out of the swamp, swinging from the trees (and movies like Labyrinth showed that Jim Henson productions weren't shy about making puppets do that sort of thing), he wasn't cutting guys down left and right. It wasn't even hinted that that's what he used to do. Then Episode 2 happened, and... ugh.
81. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 09:07 · Score: 0
  
  Yeah, what happened with Leia, anyway? She was so strong in Ep. IV, but in Jedi after she kills Jabba, she just kind of turns into a marshmallow.
  I mean, she's supposed to be on a mission to take down the Death Star shield, and they find her kibbitzing with Ewoks, getting her hair braided and wearing a dress they happened to have in their village for god-knows-why?
82. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 10:04 · Score: 0
  
  If you think about it, even Luke's transition from zero to hero was blazing fast. In Ep 1 we see that the typical path to Jedi Master is to start young and take 20 yrs.
  Anakin took 10 years to make it to Jedi Knight (Star Wars: The Clone Wars). Luke, being more powerful than Anakin, only took 4 years to do the same.
  Also, Episode 1, 2 and 3 are not really canon any more. That's why they have been and will continue to be completely ignored by Disney and directors going forward.
83. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 12:28 · Score: 0
  
  Well played
84. Re:Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 13:35 · Score: 0
  
  I was kind of hopoing that it would turn out Finn was one the force awakened in. Or co-awakened in or whatever. Sort of a Sam is the real hero type thing.
85. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 13:56 · Score: 0
  
  Force awakens even failed on the geographical scale of the drama. It seems like everything takes place in the same star system. Literally everything, based on the visuals when the chekhov's gun went off. Rei's "obscure" desert planet, the government planet, the Louie's place planet, all within a few light-seconds of each other. Either that or the cameronesque moarbigger-death-star can shoot superluminal bolts across the galaxy that nevertheless travel through normalspace (as they are visible from all of those locations). Which still kinda diminishes the scale of things.
86. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 14:33 · Score: 0
  
  It was a glancing strike to his side, not a fatal shot to the gut.
  The only reason why it was tossing stormtroopers around is because they were firing explosive rounds. Obviously the round that hit Kylo Ren was just a normal quarrel without explosives, which means your excuse doesn't hold up.
87. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 14:51 · Score: 0
  
  I doubt she is his daughter. Maybe his granddaughter or great granddaughter.
  She might actually be Luke's granddaughter.
88. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 14:56 · Score: 0
  
  I seem to remember Rey doing a lot of whining to BB-8 and Finn. She was also fawning all over Han Solo. I thought she was going to start sucking his dick and any moment.
  Luke had the balls to stand up to Han multiple times. He also destroyed the Death Star when everyone else either got killed or ran away like cowards.
89. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 15:21 · Score: 0
  
  He is pretty shitty. Real Jedi's can battle hundreds of battle droids all at the same time (someone explain to me the physics of that). It's some real impressive contortionism/moving night unto the speed of light. Nevermind the fact that earlier in the film he had stopped blaster plasma in mid air. Who the hell else has ever done that?
90. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 15:24 · Score: 0
  
  This was the Dragon Ball Z of all Star Wars movies. Everyone is overpowered. Finn, Poe, Rey, and even Kylo. He stopped plasma mid-air with the force for hell's sake. The only person who should really have been a badass in this film is Chewie. He should have dropped down off that platform and tore Kylo's arms off. We've all been waiting for him to use that move!
91. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 15:28 · Score: 0
  
  "Your argument would be more convincing if you managed to get basic details about the movie correct."
  You can't even spell her name right, you dipshit! It's REY.
92. Re: Yay... Abrams by SvnLyrBrto · 2017-09-13 17:50 · Score: 1
  
  Okay, mister internet tough guy... go ahead. Trot on down to one of the bars adjacent to, and mostly patronized by, the San Francisco chapter of the Hells Angels. Take a shot at one of them. I dare you. I double-dog goddamned dare you.
  
  --
  Imagine all the people...
93. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 23:23 · Score: 0
  
  Nah, Rey has to be Luke's child or grandchild. When Leia and Rey meet in the film, it's as though they already know each other, even though we didn't see them meet until then. She has to be related to Luke for Leia to automatically know who she is.
94. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 23:56 · Score: 0
  
  You are the kind of fanboi being mocked.
  
  r1 was okay
  No, it really wasn't.
  Kyle Katarn retrieved the plans for the Death Star, not some little girl and her group of karate experts who can kill armoured stormtroopers with a fucking stick.
95. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 01:31 · Score: 0
  
  You're obsessing over Kyle Katarn and you have the sack to call other people "fanboi"??
96. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 06:28 · Score: 0
  
  Here is a screenshot:
  https://www.mrericsir.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/picard-and-q.jpg
97. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 08:47 · Score: 0
  
  Vader IS an impressive swordsman in the original films
  LOL, no.
98. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 08:50 · Score: 0
  
  I know exactly what will happen, they will die.
  You know what my "gang" is called? The fucking United States Marine Corps. So let's see, gay biker gang vs toughest military force in the world.
  You make the call.
99. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 09:52 · Score: 0
  
  Star Track III, "The search for Luke" was the best!
100. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 11:12 · Score: 0
  
  (Rey holds out Luke's lightsaber)
  Luke: "You found Artoo!"
101. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 14:30 · Score: 0
  
  Wow, you're positively brimming with anger and hatred. Don't you have some Collider Star Wars dick sucking vids to watch?
102. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 15:19 · Score: 0
  
  Hey, did you hear the one about the Marine who died in a bar fight ?
  Sure, you may shoot a couple three, but do you think you can reload before the rest beat you into a grease stain?
  (It's okay, I know the military brainwashed you to believe you're invincible. It's not your fault.)
103. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 16:41 · Score: 0
  
  He doesn't demonstrate anything like the power that other trained users did, and none of the typical dark side stuff like lightning or force-choking.
  Uhhhhh...the dude holds his hand out and stops a blaster bolt in mid air. Prior to that the best anyone did was deflect with a saber.
  Like, right at the start of the movie they put in a scene whose sole purpose is to show how badass he is with the force.
  Next theory please?
104. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 17:00 · Score: 0
  
  You assume that those gays are man enough to step up after I put the first one or two down. I assure you, they aren't. My Marine buddies aren't going to just stand around either. One sweep from my MP5 or a single grenade and I could wipe out an entire bar of gay bikers who bit off more than they could ever possibly chew.
  I couldn't be less frightened by anyone than some fat, old, gay biker fags and their ridealong twinks. I can say with absolute certainty that there isn't a single individual from San Francisco who I could not beat the shit out of.
  I understand that weak little twerps like you are too cowardly to stand up for yourself. You'd never make it as a Marine or as a man.
105. Re:Yay... Abrams by skam240 · 2017-09-14 20:06 · Score: 1
  
  Sorry, mind controlling some one when you don't even know you can do that. I could debate everything else you've said but that alone is ridiculous.
  
  --
  I ignore Anonymous Coward posts. If you want to discuss something, that's awesome. Log in.
106. Re: Yay... Abrams by gl4ss · 2017-09-17 15:39 · Score: 1
  
  basically.. the way hyperspace(used to) works in star wars is that you can't hyperspace through/into/near high mass objects like planets, suns and whatever. this makes it so that hyperspacing isn't simply a teleportation device, which would negate any usefulness of superweapons, large carriers, interdictors and whatever. you see back in the late 70's or 80's someone put some thought into this, unlike abrams.
  okay.. ep1) the siege of naboo becomes irrelevant as you can just bypass it.
  ep2 and ep3). okay.. these not so much, but their plotline is a continuation - and again, the nature of warfare would be drastically different if the hyperspace rules were changed.
  ep4) might just as well have hyperspaced some bombs into either inside deathstar or on surface of the superweapon side. basically the whole concept of such a superweapon becomes obsolete.
  ep5) the planetary shields would have been irrelevant, might just as well have hyperspaced into inside them.
  ep6) might just as well have hyperspaced something into inside of deathstar 2.
  ep7) might just as well have nuked the planet (transfer the nuke through hyperspace). also, prior to this, there are no "beams of whatever" shot through the space at ftl speeds at arbitrary distances. I mean, where the f is this secret moonbase? are _all_ the planets in ep7 in the _same_ solar system? just like earth is in the same system with klingon homeworld? I mean just how much more can the guy f up. it's like he is making parodies.
  in r1 as well though, there is no distance. which is a problem with ALL abrams movies. he changes the scripts so that the distances make no sense at all and that there is no travel time to anywhere.
  
  --
  world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
107. Re: Yay... Abrams by ConceptJunkie · 2017-09-20 10:21 · Score: 1
  
  Stimpy, on the other hand, pwned them all.
  
  --
  You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
108. Re: Yay... Abrams by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-20 13:35 · Score: 0
  
  > Stimpy, on the other hand, pwned them all.
  You eeeeeediot!
109. Re:Yay... Abrams by ConceptJunkie · 2017-09-21 02:10 · Score: 1
  
  Given that the stormtrooper Finn first fought with the lightsaber was using that weird club thing, I figured it's reasonable to assume that stormtroopers would have training in that kind of hand-to-hand combat, so that it was plausible for Finn to be able to wield a lightsaber with some proficiency. At least, that's my headcanon explanation.
  
  --
  You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
Ok, 2019 by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 11:38 · Score: 0, Troll

Hillary Clinton to play emporer
1. Re:Ok, 2019 by Tablizer · 2017-09-12 11:58 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  Bannon turned down the part?
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
2. Re: Ok, 2019 by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 12:03 · Score: 0
  
  No. It's just that there wouldn't be the same chemistry between him and Jar Jar Trump anymore.
3. Re: Ok, 2019 by Tablizer · 2017-09-12 12:19 · Score: 2
  
  Jar Jar Trump
  "Meesa besta, beleeba me! I knowa Forca better den Jedi Jedi and tall piles of Vaders. Ignore fakie forcy; bigly loser losers licky fakie forcy, so sadly. #MRGA!"
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
4. Re: Ok, 2019 by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 15:16 · Score: 0
  
  I never thought I'd miss Darth Cheney...
5. Re:Ok, 2019 by PopeRatzo · 2017-09-12 16:09 · Score: 1
  
  Bannon turned down the part?
  Bannon's going to be in a different sci-fi movie:
  http://statcdn.fandango.com/MP...
  
  --
  You are welcome on my lawn.
George Lucas by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 11:45 · Score: 0

I was hoping the George Lucas would direct Episode IX and have Jar-Jar come out of carbonite to bring balance to the Force. :P
-cdreimer
1. Re:George Lucas by Tablizer · 2017-09-12 12:08 · Score: 1
  
  George Lucas would direct Episode IX and have Jar-Jar come
  Jar Jar is actually one of my favorite SW characters, but I know he's very unpopular, and I'd love to see all the fans sh8t their pants over him. Throw in Ewoks for good measure. Maybe if Binks is brutally and bloodily mauled by Darth Maul, fans would love it ... until he comes back as a glowing Force ghost.
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
2. Re:George Lucas by skam240 · 2017-09-12 18:07 · Score: 0
  
  Man, what's it like having truly poor taste?
  "This shit is awesome!" "No, that's literally shit and it isn't"
  I'm really honestly curios what you thought he brought to the movies. Did you find him funny or something?
  I just can't imagine an angle that would interest someone over 8. He's a walking bad ethnic stereo type.
  
  --
  I ignore Anonymous Coward posts. If you want to discuss something, that's awesome. Log in.
3. Re:George Lucas by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 20:57 · Score: 0
  
  I was really disappointed with SL Snoke. I so wanted him to be Jar-Jar. I loved that fan theory, and it would totally have redeemed the Jar-Jar "hapless fool" thing from the prequels.
Fine by me by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 11:47 · Score: 1

As long as he stays away from star trek. Star Wars is just a logo people take selfies next to for imaginary internet points now anyway
1. Re:Fine by me by hey! · 2017-09-12 11:58 · Score: 1
  
  Seth MacFarlane seems to understand how the Trek tropes work.
  I don't think the jokes in The Orville were that funny, but practically every scene had some reference that made me laugh out loud, right down to the musical motifs.
  
  --
  Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
2. Re:Fine by me by desdinova+216 · 2017-09-12 12:45 · Score: 1
  
  I personally thought the humor in The Orville was subdued, which was better than I was expecting from Seth MacFarlane. I was expecting rapid fire jokes.
Sweet more crappy CGI and gritty shake-cam cuts by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 11:48 · Score: 0

Just what the sequel to the sequels to the sequels to the prequels needed. JJ Abrams.
Here's what will happen in the movie by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 11:48 · Score: 0

Instead of the Death Star blowing up at the end, the Death Star will blow things up for almost 2 hours, padded by a few brief scenes of almost no important.
1. Re:Here's what will happen in the movie by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 13:28 · Score: 0
  
  My gay friends enjoy movies with brief scenes and blowing!
Not convinced this is a good idea by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 11:50 · Score: 3, Insightful

JJ is famous for settings things up and then spectacularly failing to follow through. I enjoy his work until it all falls apart because he doesn't know how to finish/close a narrative and that does not bode well for a trilogy.
1. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by fizzer06 · 2017-09-12 11:53 · Score: 1
  
  Jar Jar Abrams.
2. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 12:00 · Score: 0
  
  As if he hasn't screwed up enough already. Never even considered once thinking of not seeing a Star Wars film. This might be a first for me.
3. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by alvinrod · 2017-09-12 13:28 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  I think the real problem with his work is that he's completely willing to sacrifice almost everything in favor of whatever scene in the movie he currently wants to happen even if it ruins other aspects of the movie. For example, in The Force Awakens I was generally okay with the story up until the attack on the Death Star (or whatever it was called, but it's the new Death Star so whatever) begins and it fires its huge burst of energy across the galaxy that is somehow going to hit the target in a small amount of time and the rebel forces are also able to almost immediately travel across the entire galaxy while being on comms in real time.
  
  The rules for space travel in Star Wars are never really well explained, largely because they don't need to be, but those scenes seem to violate our understanding of how travel works from previous installments. Just the fact that you can communicate instantly in real time across those distances (and while traveling no less) pretty much makes the other movies make no sense since once you get the plans for the Death Star in the original movie, just instantly communicate them across the galaxy. Same shit with TPM, just instantly communicate that you're being invaded across the galaxy. But Abrams had written himself into a corner and logic had to die on the altar of the scene he wanted to happen.
  
  I could overlook most of the criticism that were levied towards TFA when it came out as it was a generally well made movie, but that part just made me want to yell at the movie for being so stupid because the universe was no longer internally consistent. Him and Lindelof can fuck off of having anything to do with a script as they care far too much about the moment to the detriment of the whole. It was the same shit with new Star Trek films where who cares about any established rules of the universe, because it's time for this next really cool scene to happen now.
4. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by Lendrick · 2017-09-12 15:42 · Score: 1
  
  I think the real problem with his work is that he's completely willing to sacrifice almost everything in favor of whatever scene in the movie he currently wants to happen even if it ruins other aspects of the movie. For example, in The Force Awakens I was generally okay with the story up until the attack on the Death Star (or whatever it was called, but it's the new Death Star so whatever) begins and it fires its huge burst of energy across the galaxy that is somehow going to hit the target in a small amount of time and the rebel forces are also able to almost immediately travel across the entire galaxy while being on comms in real time.
  He did something very similar in the first movie of the Star Trek reboot, when Nero destroyed Vulcan. Given how long the Enterprise was in warp before they dumped Kirk off on that ice planet, Vulcan should have been significantly farther away, but instead it was in the same relative neighborhood as the distance from the earth to the moon, because it was more than just a dot in the sky.
  I choose to believe that these particular scenes aren't strictly canon, but are dumbed-down, flashier versions of what actually happened (for instance, Spock could have been carrying a portable subspace radio and heard of Vulcan's destruction that way). Starkiller base could have had a way of firing a weapon through hyperspace, but in the movie scene it was more flashy and dramatic to have it look like it must all be happening in the same solar system.
  As long as I can come up with a plausible version of what happened that works in universe and still makes sense in the context of the story, I try to just let this stuff slide.
5. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 15:47 · Score: 0
  
  you can communicate instantly in real time across those distances
  
  make no sense since once you get the plans for the Death Star in the original movie, just instantly communicate them across the galaxy
  Are you attempting to compare a realtime voice communication (which is of imperfect quality) with transmitting the architectural plans for a military installation that is somewhere over 100 km in diameter? I find it hard to believe that you can't have a suspension of disbelief over a detail like that.
6. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by SvnLyrBrto · 2017-09-12 16:44 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Screw all that.
  I'm still a bit annoyed that Nero bothered with the "revenge against Vulcan and Earth" thing at all; instead of flying off to Romulus and having a nice little chat with the Praetor:
  "Hi there. I'm Nero. Like my ship? See how impressive it is and how it out-classes anything you, the Klingons, or the Federation have, even though it's really just a mining ship? Well, I'm from the future. More proof? Well, according to the copy of 'Grays Sports Almanac, Romulan Empire Edition' in my ship's computer, the Remans are going to win tonight's grav-ball game, 63-61. Let's chat tomorrow."
  "Hi. Good morning. I'm still Nero. Did you enjoy the grab-ball game? Yeah, a real shocker. I bet everyone in the empire thought that Romulus was going to win, right up until the last pentameter. So yeah... Do you believe me about the whole 'being from the future' thing now? Great. Let's do lunch."
  "Wow, I haven't had grilled trait that tender in ages. So hey... you know that red giant star over there, just a couple light-years away from Romulus, across the sector border? Yes, that's the one. You know how your neutrino detectors show that fusion has nearly stopped in its core? Well, that star's going to be a problem. It's going to go supernova in exactly 102 years 4 days 3 hours and 42 minutes. Woah! I must have a little bit of Vulcan in me. But anyway, since I'm from the future, I know that. When it explodes, the Vulcans are going to try to keep it from destroying Romulus by using something called red matter. It doesn't make any sense. But they're going to fail. So you should probably see about evacuating the planet. The more than a century of heads-up I just gave you should be more than enough time; especially seeing as I have this giant spaceship here filled with technology from your future."
  "Hi. I'm still Nero. So... can anyone recommend a good tattoo-removal place?"
  
  --
  Imagine all the people...
7. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by AmiMoJo · 2017-09-12 20:12 · Score: 1
  
  That sounds like the plot of a TNG episode. I'd watch that.
  
  --
  const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
  SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
8. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by jbmartin6 · 2017-09-13 00:39 · Score: 1
  
  What about at the end where the ship descends from above the atmosphere and drops her off at the *bottom* of the long staircase, which she then has to climb? As you say, any sort of logic or quality writing are sacrificed because he wanted the shots of her dramatically climbing the staircase and finding Luke at the top. Since he obviously knew she was coming why didn't he just meet her at the bottom?
  
  --
  This posting is provided 'AS IS' without warranty of any kind, implied or otherwise.
9. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by Hognoxious · 2017-09-13 02:12 · Score: 1
  
  Unlimited data plans have limits. Even in Star Wars.
  
  --
  Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
10. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by JohnFen · 2017-09-13 08:01 · Score: 1
  
  If Abrams touches something, I have no interest in it. He does exactly one sort of movie well, and every movie he is involved in seems to transform into a variation of that one.
  I guess that's fine for lots of people, but the one movie he knows how to make is uninteresting to me.
11. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by JohnFen · 2017-09-13 08:02 · Score: 1
  
  I will never be able to forgive him for what he did to Star Trek.
12. Re:Not convinced this is a good idea by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 21:47 · Score: 0
  
  Great. Now can you explain how the fuck red matter is supposed to work? It breaks the fucking laws of physics. Admittedly it isn't the only thing in the Trek Universe to do so, but using it is just lazy writing.
  So you have this matter, it causes everything it touches to become a black hole, I can just about let that pass, it is science fiction after all. Now the thing about black holes is, their gravitational pull is no greater than the mass they are made up of. So if you somehow magically turn a planet into a black hole, it'll keep orbiting its sun, and its moon will still keep orbiting it, the moon won't get sucked in because the planets gravitational pull hasn't increased, a star ship can even continue orbiting it safely.
Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Tablizer · 2017-09-12 11:56 · Score: 5, Funny

or is it just a bunch of guys rehashing old material?

Rehash is fine as long as you do it well. I for one would love to see a try at Star Wars vs. Star Trek. The culture clash of the different viewpoints and problem-solving techniques could make for fun drama. The movie doesn't really have to waste time setting up the culture context because most the audience already knows both groups: it can jump right into the paradigm clashes.
Imagine Spock and Yoda conversing:
Yoda: "Vulcan logic and the logic of The Force, same thing are not."
Spock: "Logic is universal until proven otherwise."
Yoda: "Universal assumption, logical it is not. Test entire universe you cannot."
Spock: "I've never seen good logic fail."
Yoda: "Get out more, you need."
Spock: "I think I've met enough Yoda's already, thank you very much."

--
Table-ized A.I.
1. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 12:23 · Score: 0
  
  AND HE GETS RAPED BY CHUBACCA
2. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 13:56 · Score: 0
  
  who? yoda?
3. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 15:21 · Score: 1
  
  Star Wars vs. Star Trek
  Well the first question is whether Star Wars species are advanced enough that contact by the Federation wouldn't violate the prime directive...
4. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 19:57 · Score: 0
  
  Every species in Star Wars is more advanced than Star Trek. In the Star Wars universe, space travel across the entire galaxy has been trivial for tens of thousands of years in beat up junk ships. In Star Trek, it would take a brand new, cutting edge starship 75 years to traverse the galaxy.
5. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 20:36 · Score: 0
  
  for tens of thousands of years
  In Star Wars universe, the unit for length and distance is lightyears.
6. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Hognoxious · 2017-09-12 21:00 · Score: 1
  
  Spock: "I think I've met enough Yoda's already, thank you very much."
  Yoda: "Thing that to me belongs left out you have! Outloudlaugh"
  
  --
  Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
7. Re: Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by hackwrench · 2017-09-12 21:12 · Score: 1
  
  Parsec was used by Solo as such a unit.
8. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 23:01 · Score: 0
  
  "It is not logical to insert a greased Yoda doll into one of my bodily orifices."
9. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by JackieBrown · 2017-09-13 02:12 · Score: 1
  
  There is a star trek vs babylon 5 movie
  https://forum.gateworld.net/th...
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
  It was actually pretty good.
10. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 02:57 · Score: 0
  
  Spock: "Logic is universal until proven otherwise."
  
  Yoda: "What the fuck? Did you fail Logic 101?"
  
  Spock: "Yeah, my writers sucks.
  
  Yoda: "Mine too."
  
  Both: "Let's go get a beer."
11. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by JohnFen · 2017-09-13 05:01 · Score: 1
  
  This would be interesting if we're talking about the Star Trek before Abrams transformed it into whatever it is now.
12. Re: Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by ClickOnThis · 2017-09-13 05:18 · Score: 1
  
  Parsec was used by Solo as such a unit.
  He used it (wrongly) as a unit of time. Or at least the scriptwriter did.
  
  --
  If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
13. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 05:23 · Score: 0
  
  In Star Wars universe, the unit for length and distance is lightyears.
  Light years, two words. It's the same unit of distance we use in the real world and which is used in Star Trek.
  The thing I would like to know is, why did you bother to mention that? GP was talking about time.
14. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 05:33 · Score: 0
  
  Babylon 5 automatically loses due to vastly inferior tech. They wouldn't even be able to touch federation ships.
  Reminds me of this exchange:
  Worf: "Captain, they are now locking LASERS on us."
  Riker: "Lasers???"
  Worf: "Yes sir."
  Picard: "Lasers can't even penetrate our navigation shields. Don't they know that?"
  Riker: "Regulations do call for yellow alert."
  Picard: "Hmm, a very old regulation. Well, make it so Number One. And reduce speed. Drop main shields as well."
  Riker: "May I ask why, sir?"
  Picard: "In case we decide to surrender to them, Number One."
15. Re: Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by nephilimsd · 2017-09-13 06:31 · Score: 1
  
  I've heard that this wasn't an oversight, or perhaps was retconned into making sense, via the narrative that the run involves a loop around a black hole.
  The logic here says that a black hole bends space around it, so a ship being able to navigate closer to the black hole means the run is made in a shorter distance than in a ship that has to stay farther away. Speed is a component in how close you can skirt a gravity well. In this scenario, the ability to reduce the distance of the run is in fact a noteworthy accomplishment, and Han is boasting about it.
16. Re: Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by ClickOnThis · 2017-09-13 07:10 · Score: 1
  
  Well, okay, but it still makes more sense that the scriptwriter thought parsec was a unit of time because it has "sec" in it.
  The actual dialog was:
  You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon? ... It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.
  Note the preposition in. Typically it is associated with time, not distance. If you found a shortcut for your commute, you would not say "Hey honey, I made it home in less than twelve miles!" That just sounds awkward.
  Or maybe parsec really is a unit of time in the Star Wars universe.
  
  --
  If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
17. Re: Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 07:16 · Score: 0
  
  I've heard that this wasn't an oversight, or perhaps was retconned into making sense
  It's the second one.
18. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Tablizer · 2017-09-13 08:56 · Score: 1
  
  Star Wars is more advanced than Star Trek. In the Star Wars universe, space travel across the entire galaxy has been trivial
  In Trek they can travel faster, but in Next Gen found it damages space-time, creating a kind of travel pollution. In Star Wars they don't give a sh8t about pollution because they are always at war. Trek is more PC: which is yet another example of culture clash to exploit in entertainment.
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
19. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 09:33 · Score: 0
  
  Wrong. In Star Trek they found warping damages space, but even ignoring that and moving at Voyager's maximum speed of warp 9.97, it would take 75 years to go from the delta quadrant to the alpha quadrant.
  In Star Wars, any old beater ship can cross the galaxy in a few days.
20. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Tablizer · 2017-09-13 12:22 · Score: 1
  
  If it were realistic, both would spend 3 weeks debating the definition of "logic" and "reality", in the end calling each other stupid and retarded. I've seen it happen.
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
21. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Tablizer · 2017-09-13 16:23 · Score: 1
  
  I thought warp was either not well-defined, or inconsistently defined in Trek.
  However, one can add some twists to explain the differences. For example, maybe the SW galaxy is 1/10 the Milky Way's (MW) size, and SW space jumping tech relies on nearby wormholes, of which the SW galaxy happens to have many holes while MW has very few. Trek hasn't bothered to maximize wormhole tech because MW doesn't have enough holes to make it worth while. Perhaps hole jump research could be the reason Trek ends up in SW's yard to begin with. Everything is solvable with creative SF BS.
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
22. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 23:13 · Score: 0
  
  Warp factors were inconsistent, but pretty much settled upon in Voyager.
  Hyperspace is just a much faster way to travel than warping. By the time of the first Star Wars, humans and other beings have been travelling their galaxy for 20,000-30,000 years already and have most or all of it charted. That's why many of the ships look old and worn, because they are. They're still more advanced than anything the Federation (or Klingons or Romulans) in Star Trek has.
23. Re:Wars vs. Trek [Re:Yay... Abrams ] by JackieBrown · 2017-09-15 03:51 · Score: 1
  
  Team Star Trek made that joke and then were shocked when their shields didn't work in that universe
zzzzz by elcor · 2017-09-12 12:09 · Score: 0

It'll be derivative, agitated and very very boring. I used to work with the guy and he can do very good action but has limited depth.
That seals the deal. by theguyfromsaturn · 2017-09-12 12:24 · Score: 0, Troll

I will definitely not be wasting money on it. After the total mess Jar Jar Abrams did with episode 7. Until Ep. 7, I never thought I'd be so disgusted with Start Wars that I wouldn't even want to see any more of it. They should have given it to someone who gives a damned about the Start Wars universe, and not trust that bozo. If we learned anything from the prequels is that Jar Jar can't be trusted with anything.

--
I like my dinosaurs feathery, and my pterosaurs hairy (or is it pycnofibery?)
1. Re:That seals the deal. by tquasar · 2017-09-12 12:38 · Score: 1
  
  Episode IX: We're Only In It For The Money.
Rian Johnson by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 12:40 · Score: 0

I will definitely not be wasting money on it. After the total mess Jar Jar Abrams did with episode 7.
I found Episode 7 enjoyable, but nothing special. However, I am curious about Episode 8 because I've liked Rian Johnson since "Brick" and found "Looper" good; he also directed the "Ozymandias" episode of "Breaking Bad".
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rian_Johnson
Re:8==L=I=G=H=T==S=A=B=E=R==D-~~-_. by Tablizer · 2017-09-12 12:45 · Score: 1

I guess that's a start.

--
Table-ized A.I.
I sense a disturbance by PoopJuggler · 2017-09-12 13:00 · Score: 4, Funny

As if millions of voices cried out in terror
J.J. Abrams - talent? by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 13:16 · Score: 0

I'm not sure if anyone got the memo, but J.J. Abrams is not that good of a director...
God help us no. by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 14:15 · Score: 0

The Force Awakens was Prequel-tier. It had no protagonist, bad action, bad characters (Poe, Phasma, ...), bad plot, and bad dialogue.
All of JJ's movies are like this, though perhaps to lesser degrees. He hasn't made a good film period.
1. Re:God help us no. by jbmartin6 · 2017-09-13 00:35 · Score: 1
  
  Except the Sixth Sense maybe. But you are right. The writing is awful and simply revolves around setting up various special effects shots. The Star Trek films he was involved with were the same way, just awful.
  
  --
  This posting is provided 'AS IS' without warranty of any kind, implied or otherwise.
2. Re:God help us no. by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 08:02 · Score: 0
  
  > Except the Sixth Sense maybe
  Are you talking about M. Night Shyamalan's "The Sixth Sense" which has fuck-all to do with J. J. Abrams?
Re:Breaking NEWS: Apple is a RACIST company! by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 14:16 · Score: 0

Yeah Apple is not diverse - they don't allow Nazi swastikas or KKK logos on their website.
Unlike the Trump twitter account.....
Re:Breaking NEWS: Apple is a RACIST company! by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 14:44 · Score: 0

Unlike the Democrat party and its Nazi-Antifa.
News that mattersq by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 15:43 · Score: 0

Whatever
Christ. Seriously? by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 16:12 · Score: 0

Another stupid fucking star warz movie? Jesus.
1. Re:Christ. Seriously? by 0123456 · 2017-09-12 16:50 · Score: 0
  
  Disney is going to rape over the coals until it stops making them money.
  If you want to see an end to crappy Star Wars movies, stop watching them.
2. Re:Christ. Seriously? by Krakadoom · 2017-09-12 20:40 · Score: 1
  
  Rake. The word is rake. Unless you have a really grim view of Disney (you might, and you might also be entirely justified based on their Star Wars track record so far).
3. Re:Christ. Seriously? by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 04:22 · Score: 0
  
  rake someone over the coals
  1. (chiefly US) To berate someone at length, usually from a position of authority or moral authority.
Jar Jar Abrahams again!?!? Noooooo!!!!!! by williamyf · 2017-09-12 16:24 · Score: 2

If his first star wars movie (or his second star trek one) is any indication of Jar Jar Abraham's ingenuity, I guess that Star Wars Ep. IX will go something like this:
In Ep VIII, Flinn was captured by some evildoer, so Rey goes to the bad guy's lair and pretends to be taken prisoner in order to free him with her Jedi Might, Cleansing the lair in the process by killing most of the evildoers and even making some of them be eaten by mighty giant lifeform.
Then we move to a new threat from the new order, a new spherical object of doom orbiting a sacred-forest-planet where a station is beaming a shield to protect it. A party composed of Flynn and pilot guy go there to deactivate the shield, and fins some utterly cute merchandiseable lifeform opressed by the new order, which help them deactivate said shield (and blow the unfinished evil spherical object of doom to smithereens), while Kylo Ren takes Rey to Face Snooke, resulting in redemption for Kylo and death for snooke...
If we are goin to recycle: Can I propose a better recycled idea for Ep IX?
Here it is:
While traveling throught the galaxy, the rebels encounter a planet, were they are attacked by a hermaphrodite local, are forced to kill this local using the force, orphaning his/her child named Fallom. They take Fallom with them.
After traveling some more, and arriving to a small planet with a single moon, RtwoDtwO speaks, not with beeps, but with a voice, reveals that his initials are RDO, that he is a telepathic robot created eons ago by Roj Nemennuh Sarton and Han Fastolfe, that he has been guiding the Galaxy behind the scenes, and that, since his positronic brain is failing, he needs to merge his consciousness with Fallom in order to continue guiding the Galaxy like a father figure, as he always has.
I mean, is at the same level of imagination as what Jar Jar Abrahams did in Episode 7!

--
*** Suerte a todos y Feliz dia!
1. Re:Jar Jar Abrahams again!?!? Noooooo!!!!!! by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 04:01 · Score: 0
  
  If his first star wars movie (or his second star trek one) is any indication of Jar Jar Abraham's ingenuity, I guess that Star Wars Ep. IX will go something like this: An enormously successful cash grab just like every other star wars movie, thus fitting in perfectly
  
  ftfy. I mean, we all saw the sequel scene in spaceballs right?
2. Re:Jar Jar Abrahams again!?!? Noooooo!!!!!! by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 04:22 · Score: 0
  
  Ripping off Asimov's Foundation series instead of a previous Star Wars movie? I had always hoped Foundation would be brought to the screen, but not like this!
Should have been released on May 4th... by Guy+Smiley · 2017-09-12 16:44 · Score: 1

Why would they schedule the release for May 24th?
Re:Now we know the working title for Episode IX by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 20:45 · Score: 0

Episode IX
The Lens Flare Abides
Rey returns home
and discovers that
her favorite rug has
been stolen by a
new nemesis.
It really tied the
room together.
ah.. by SuperDre · 2017-09-12 21:18 · Score: 1

So he needed 6 months extra to write a completely crap script.... oh dear that doesn't bode well for the next installment. Hopefully this time it actually get's a good script which also fits better to the original trilogy and prequels as TFA was just awful storywise (yes it had some nice effects and scenese, but story/scriptwise it was utter crap).
Re:Breaking NEWS: Apple is a RACIST company! by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-12 21:33 · Score: 0

But, the KKK Grand Dragon is a good and loooong time family friend of Clintons... gave them lots of money for elections.
Must not have watched Rogue One either... by gosand · 2017-09-13 01:01 · Score: 2

Because I don't recall any girl becoming a Jedi master in Rogue One.
I do have to wonder if in The Force Awakens, Rey had been male instead of female if everyone's panties would be all bunched up about becoming a Jedi so quickly.
I actually didn't mind TFA that much. It was somewhat of a reboot, but it kind of needed that after all the other garbage Star Wars movies. (and by that, I mean everything since Empire Strikes Back)

--

My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
1. Re:Must not have watched Rogue One either... by JackieBrown · 2017-09-13 02:25 · Score: 1
  
  I do have to wonder if in The Force Awakens, Rey had been male instead of female if everyone's panties would be all bunched up about becoming a Jedi so quickly
  Most the arguments seem to be that no male either has ever become a Jedi so fast either
  But maybe the rules changed after the Empire collapsed.
2. Re:Must not have watched Rogue One either... by gosand · 2017-09-13 05:55 · Score: 1
  
  I do have to wonder if in The Force Awakens, Rey had been male instead of female if everyone's panties would be all bunched up about becoming a Jedi so quickly
  Most the arguments seem to be that no male either has ever become a Jedi so fast either
  But maybe the rules changed after the Empire collapsed.
  I get it... I thought the same thing when watching it. But it's certainly not out of the realm of possibility. I could imagine explanations for it - which hopefully will come to light in the next movie. Everyone seems to have the opinion that fighting with a light saber is something that only a Jedi can use. It's just another weapon! She didn't easily beat Ren... and what do we know of his training? He was definitely full of anger.. she was able to be calm and focus. If we're going to nerd out on it... he was emotionally unstable. Vader was cool and collected at all times, Ren was an angry young man (played so much better than the young Vader in prior movies).
  Nerds gonna nerd out I guess. It wasn't that bad, but I'm not going to get emotionally invested in it... it's just a Disney movie after all.
  
  --
  
  My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
3. Re:Must not have watched Rogue One either... by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 07:41 · Score: 0
  
  > it's just a Disney movie after all.
  I threw up in my mouth a little when I read that.
4. Re:Must not have watched Rogue One either... by Rakarra · 2017-09-13 08:59 · Score: 1
  
  Everyone seems to have the opinion that fighting with a light saber is something that only a Jedi can use. It's just another weapon!
  Maybe only a Jedi can be really really good at it, but being able to use a lightsaber is certainly not exclusive to Jedis. Han used Luke's lightsaber in Empire Strikes Back, Finn used one in the Force Awakens though he certainly isn't a Jedi. The lightsaber just seems to be a weapon that the Jedis like, per Kenobi's musings of it being a more civilized weapon for a more civilized age, as opposed to Han's more crude blaster.
5. Re:Must not have watched Rogue One either... by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 09:39 · Score: 0
  
  Then Jedi are idiots. Imagine how much of a better fighter a Jedi (or Sith) could be if they mastered both lightsabers and blasters.
  Take Violet's fighting style from Ultraviolet and add the force. It would be like ultimate gun-kata.
6. Re:Must not have watched Rogue One either... by Rakarra · 2017-09-13 10:39 · Score: 1
  
  Then Jedi are idiots. Imagine how much of a better fighter a Jedi (or Sith) could be if they mastered both lightsabers and blasters.
  It seems like in a Jedi's hands, a lightsaber beats a blaster, every time.
  But that doesn't mean that jedis only use lightsabers -- Luke did pretty well with an X-wing that didn't just have a lightsaber mounted on the front side.
7. Re:Must not have watched Rogue One either... by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 13:27 · Score: 0
  
  I kind of want to see this version of star wars you describe. Where the Jedi literally can only use lightsaber-ized versions of any weapons they use. Right down to a spinning, flipping, bolt-deflecting lightsaber deathstar. Also, they must eat with tiny lightsaber forks. or chopsticks.
8. Re:Must not have watched Rogue One either... by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 14:40 · Score: 0
  
  And yet in a bounty hunter's hands, a blaster can easily take out a Jedi with a lightsaber.
  You also forget that Obi-Wan needed a blaster to save his own life and that clone troopers both saved the lives of Jedi and killed off the Jedi with their blasters.
9. Re:Must not have watched Rogue One either... by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-14 13:33 · Score: 0
  
  Use the forks, Luke.
Nothing left to save here by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 01:11 · Score: 0

"the man responsible for successfully rebooting"
Wot?! Pull the other one!
He macked up both the Star Trek AND Star Wars franchises...
Favorite Part of the Movie by DarthVain · 2017-09-13 01:18 · Score: 3

My favorite part of the movie was where two anonymous Storm Troopers are walking down a corridor, and they hear Darth Teenage Angst having a fit in the next room, one signals to the other, and they immediately head in a different direction...
Why I like it:
1) Even with zero dialog it is hilarious
2) Typically in the past Storm Troopers were pretty much put in the movie to die, they are just hero cannon fodder, adds some humanism to them. Probably why they just went with Robots in the prequels.
3) I like to think with the story line of the ex-Trooper hero, that this was also done intentionally as a further device to show that Storm Troopers are individuals and not just clone robots, or brain washed cannon fodder.
That said, when the ex-Trooper goes rogue for his sensibilities about killing people, he does a pretty good job of mass murdering a lot of his comrades in arms on the way out and after...
Also on an somewhat unrelated note, I thought the plot device of the Super Death Star was a bit silly and anime. I mean what can we expect in the next one? A Super Duper Death Star twice as big as the last?
I'll pay a writer 100$ if they can sneak in a line for when the hero's scan the new Super Duper Death Star, when a screen starts flashing increasing numbers beyond 9000, that says something to the effect Ray: "This Cannot Be!. ... It's over 9000!" Luke: "No... no... that's not true!... that's impossible!"
1. Re:Favorite Part of the Movie by Quirkz · 2017-09-13 02:24 · Score: 1
  
  Also on an somewhat unrelated note, I thought the plot device of the Super Death Star was a bit silly and anime. I mean what can we expect in the next one? A Super Duper Death Star twice as big as the last?
  According to fan parody "1000 Terrible Ideas for Another Star Wars Movie" the progression will go:
  * An even bigger Death Star, built around the sun, that shoots planets at other planets.
  * Traveling back in time to steal the original Death Star.
  * Prequels reveal that the Emperor got the idea for the Death Star from a smaller, Death-Star-like space station that was blown up by the rebels.
  * Another prequel reveals that Manny Bothans was kind of a dick, and there was a reason he got sent on that suicide mission to get the Death Star plans.
  
  --
  The Quirkz Handbook of Self-Improvement for People Who Are Already Pretty Okay
2. Re:Favorite Part of the Movie by Rakarra · 2017-09-13 09:00 · Score: 1
  
  2) Typically in the past Storm Troopers were pretty much put in the movie to die, they are just hero cannon fodder, adds some humanism to them. Probably why they just went with Robots in the prequels.
  I think they were made robots in the prequels because the movie was aimed towards young children, so mass slaughter on the battlefield and seeing the "good guys" cutting people in half was a no-no.
3. Re:Favorite Part of the Movie by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 14:42 · Score: 0
  
  Wow, if you thought that was funny then your sense of humour is shit. It was so cliched and expected that it was painfully unfunny. Like groan-worthy unfunny.
Abrams is a Disease by Sindar+By+Choice · 2017-09-13 03:18 · Score: 0

Abrams Star Trek film is an abhorrent joke.
Star Wars Episode VII is much worse...

We've been over this before, how bad the story/script of Force Awakens is.
The acting, special effects, cinematography are outstanding, but the story is ridiculous and an affront to true Star Wars fans.
Abrams and whoever else was in on the writing of the script for Force Awakens took what could have been an interesting and entertaining story and turned it into the "Star Wars for Idiots".

Abrams for the Lose.

On a related note, Rogue One was light years more interesting and entertaining that Force Awakens, and most importantly, actually felt like it belonged in the Star Wars universe. Force Awakens doesn't feel at all like it belongs in the Star Wars universe, even with the actors from the original films included. Force Awakens is embarrassing.
Re:Breaking NEWS: Apple is a RACIST company! by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 05:50 · Score: 0

Swastikas do not belong to the Nazis. I have Taoist beads which have swastikas engraved into them.
Maybe you should get an education and stop being such a bigot before you try to take some kind of fabricated moral high ground for your virtue signalling.
A delay by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 06:09 · Score: 0

well it wil take them that long to round uo all those lense flare from the wild.
Was Darth Teenage Angst even able to fight ? by DrYak · 2017-09-13 08:00 · Score: 1

Rey not only duels Darth Teenage Angst, she beats him, in a single movie.
(First, small disclamer : I actually like the Darth Teenage Angst in this movie. I find that Adam driver's Kylo Ren would have been a much better Episode III teenage Anakin that what we ended up with)
The duel outcome isn't what disturbed me the most.
When you look at the details :
- Chewbacca has upgraded his weapon at some point of time between the 2 trilogies.
- This new version is so much better that even Han Solo is impressed when we borrows it, even if he's used to shoot at things (first).
- (I think we might see a few storm trooper recoil from the energy blast a some point in the movie. Though I am not sure about this).
- THIS is the weapon with which Kylo Ren is shot (moments after dispatching Han Solo).
So at the moment they are duelling, Kylo Ren is badly shot with an extremely powerful weapon, is probably a little bit disturbed by the fact he went dark to the point of killing his own father, in addition to being a general mentally unbalanced ball of nerves.
(And in his mental weirdness, he keeps punching his own wound).
The duel was actually heavily one sided-stacked in favor of Rey.
But still even in this state, despite the above handicap, Kylo manages to wound Finn, and even if defeated manages to escape alive and with no much additional harm (beyond what he suffered from Chewbacca).
Also Rey, being more or less a street urchin surviving on her own should have some decent self-defense capabilities (with any random weapon she manages to grab) if she's survived successfully to her age.
(In the same way, her knowledge about ship should also not be a surprise given her day occupation - her being an ACE pilot is what I found stretching it too much.)
(Similarly - I can understand that the writers want to have her as a powerful natural force users who start to discover her latent power - it is her being able to *control* the force so fast without any formal training that prevents my suspension of disbelief - I would have expected a more haphazard random stream of accidental force uses, a bit reminiscent of X-Men mutants discovering their powers).
On the other hand Luke is a farm boy with a hobby of flying ship.
- One would expect him to be good at flying and shooting thing with a gun.
- One would not expect him to be able to successfully use other weapons that aren't found on a farm.

--
"Sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from reality." - [Tips: 1DrYakQDKCQ6y52z6QbnkxHXAocMZJE61o ]
1. Re:Was Darth Teenage Angst even able to fight ? by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 14:48 · Score: 0
  
  It's the exact same bowcaster, Chewie was just using different (explosive) ammo, except when he scratched Kylo Ren's side with the glancing shot.
Months Matter by slapout · 2017-09-13 09:18 · Score: 1

Movies they don't think will do as well are released in Dec. Ones they think will do well are released in May.

--
Coder's Stone: The programming language quick ref for iPad
EU brilliantly covered for this. by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 10:49 · Score: 0

It was noted that the region the Kessel run took place through involved dozens to hundreds of black holes (the area the Maw Installation was constructed in), and while I forget the exact reasons, he ended up plotting a much more dangerous course than normal (due to pursuit?) that ended up shaving a few parsecs off of the safe course, I believe unintentionally due to gravitational interactions.
Taken in that context it was a far bigger accomplishment than many could make given the maturity of technology and smuggling runs in period depicted.
But now that the EU is entirely 'fictional' inside of a fictional world, I guess that reasoning doesn't fly, since it is now totally non-canon :)
Fuck you Lucas, Fuck you Disney, Fuck you JJA!
Having said all that, really getting into 'The Orville' with Seth MacFarlane (sp?), which while a bit campy, is a brilliant mishmash of Star Trek/Galaxy Quest with an entertaining and memorable cast. Not really a replacement for Star Wars (Tenchi Muyo! imho did a good job of that!), but definitely something that makes it easier to say 'Fuck you!' to CBS when Discovery comes out end of this month, and looking likely to have far more entertaining drama (What would *YOU* do when you learn you only got a command because your ex-wife called in a favor for you?!!?)
Star Wars IX: Revenge of the Deus Ex Machina by Anonymous Coward · 2017-09-13 15:33 · Score: 0

Abrams sucks
Binksology [Re:George Lucas] by Tablizer · 2017-09-13 16:14 · Score: 1

Yes, he is funny. Goofballs can be really entertaining. It's like watching Barney Fife or Trump or a mashup of the two. (I wouldn't want them on my team, though.)
The Force is channeled through his goofballery. The Force uses his misdeeds as an opportunity to do its work, and he gets into key places more serious characters can't because others don't take him seriously. It's similar to how Colombo got his clues: people think he's too stupid to catch on and so let their guard down. However, Colombo plans that, while Jar doesn't.
I should write "The Art, Science, and Religion of Goofballery".

--
Table-ized A.I.
1. Re:Binksology [Re:George Lucas] by skam240 · 2017-09-14 20:01 · Score: 1
  
  Sorry, I don't say this often because I believe in different view points but you have poor taste.
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
  Jar Jar was the worst pandering to children I've scene in a long time in a movie. Even George Lucas when defending him clearly stated he was there for young children and not adults. Of course Star Wars fans then avidly pointed out that the original trilogy didn't need such blatant pandering which is exactly why it appealed to both adults and children when those movies came out.
  
  --
  I ignore Anonymous Coward posts. If you want to discuss something, that's awesome. Log in.
2. Re:Binksology [Re:George Lucas] by Tablizer · 2017-09-15 19:15 · Score: 1
  
  Pandemic Jar Jar debate? Somebody's gonna think we're nerds.
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
3. Re:Binksology [Re:George Lucas] by skam240 · 2017-09-19 18:23 · Score: 1
  
  All I'm getting at is that Jar-jar and the prequels in general are for children at best. Jar-jar is the kind of stupid most normal people go back to in their adult years and flinch at in a fond childhood memory ruined by the reality of the movie. Even George Lucas uses the "it's for children" excuse for his garbage.
  I feel completely comfortable telling someone who finds the prequels entertaining that they have poor taste.
  
  --
  I ignore Anonymous Coward posts. If you want to discuss something, that's awesome. Log in.
bowcaster shots by DrYak · 2017-09-13 21:54 · Score: 1

except when he scratched Kylo Ren's side with the glancing shot.
I interpreted the scene differently :
- Chewie was not aiming to kill (couldn't bring himself to kill his "bestfriend's son almost godson")
- Kylo is so badass he withstood the (non-letalla aimed) explosive ammo without even flintching (but still left him wounded enough to be at disadvantage against the young untrained wannabe Jedi)
But yeah, I see your point :
- Chewie chose an ammo not to kill (couldn't bring himself to exploding his ... blabla)
- Kylo got a minor scratch from a glancing regular ammo (and somehow, even if he's not finished his own training, managed to get his ass whooped by an opponent even less well-trained than him)

--
"Sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from reality." - [Tips: 1DrYakQDKCQ6y52z6QbnkxHXAocMZJE61o ]