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What Are Today's Most Difficult IT Hires? (cio.com)
Slashdot reader snydeq shared an article from CIO:
The IT talent gap is driving up demand for skilled IT pros, but for certain roles and skillsets, finding -- and signing -- the right candidate can feel a bit like trying to capture a unicorn... AI and data science jobs are at the top of the list, in part because they're relatively young technologies, and they're being introduced in all sorts of companies going through their digital transformation. At the same time, there are some surprises... The experts we talked with name-checked a laundry list of desirable skills and needed experience with emerging areas like cognitive computing, machine learning, data analytics, IoT and blockchain. But the true unicorns are candidates who can not only deepen their bench of tech skills but keep an eye on the bottom line.
The article also cites high demand for data privacy experts, penetration testers with a scientific mind-set, and adaptable developers (including DevOps engineers), as well as experts in robotics and cryptology. But everyone's experiencing the job market differently, so the original submission ends with a question for Slashdot readers.
"What hires are you having the most difficulty making these days?"
The article also cites high demand for data privacy experts, penetration testers with a scientific mind-set, and adaptable developers (including DevOps engineers), as well as experts in robotics and cryptology. But everyone's experiencing the job market differently, so the original submission ends with a question for Slashdot readers.
"What hires are you having the most difficulty making these days?"
We're having difficulty finding someone who is a blockchain expert with 5+ years in Lightning Network experience.
HR won't let us hire anyone with less, and demands at least 2/3s of new Engineering hires be non-white non-male.
The most difficult IT hires are the dev/admin/whatever with 20 years of experience willing to work for minimum wage. Woe is the poor cheap-ass employer.
No formal credentials for cad engineer so they are hard to recruit and assess.
The reason Iâ(TM)ve not taken many it jobs is pay. They want a skilled and talented professional who stays current and they think $75k is a fair salary for that. I do not agree so I work for much more where I am and stay put.
"AI and data science jobs are at the top of the list, in part because they're relatively young technologies"
Nothing particularly new in any of the fields mentioned. Specific frameworks in use are different now than they were 5, 10 or 20 years ago. However, speaking as someone who has been in IT for somewhere between 30 and 40 years, there's really not a lot that's fundamentally new. Mostly, we have added more turtles. What I do see is that each new generation re-invents old ideas and slaps new labels on them. Often, they even think the ideas are new, until some old grouch like me comes along and rains on their parade.
The last real sea change was the spread of the Internet in the 1990s - enabling worldwide networking (and worldwide attacks). The actual vulnerabilities being exploited, however, are old-hat. The top security risk today's web applications is injection? This has not changed in 20 years, which ought to be embarrassing for the entire IT profession.
Enjoy life! This is not a dress rehearsal.
This cuts both ways, for positions and candidates.
When a phrase becomes a buzz word, it means whatever whoever wants it to mean, but they have to have it in resumes/job postings to look hip.
If you put one of them in criteria, congratulations, every resume on the planet is applicable. Not becuase people have relevant skills, but because people will find any way they can to justify putting it on. The diluted meaning means there's probably some way people can work it in to their resumes.
It's also a warning sign to see in a job posting. If a company is seeking a buzzed skillset, it is more likely than not they have no idea what they are doing and have no good reason to even be poking about in the area, but some management person read enough articles saying that a business *must* do this to stay relevant.
XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
It is hard to find good AI people, because AI does not exist. All you have are algorithms and clever parlor tricks. The hardest people to find are people who will work in Silicon Valley for $50,000.
It may sound stupid, but for whatever reason, people tend to get complacent in software development or server administration roles. Very few candidates will break out and learn things outside of their "expertise", even if they should go hand-in-hand.
A good example: my current organization has many .NET developers, but very few who can actually write SQL statements or even query AD. It's very frustrating to see them struggle on things that they "should" know.
but in America, none outside of the really high end stuff that isn't really IT, it's math. I guess it's a little hard to get competent folks to work a 24/7 NOC because companies don't want to have enough people on staff that the hours don't suck so you end up with 12 hour swing shifts 3-4 days a week. Aside from that outsourcing + H1-Bs have meant there's a glut of cheap labor.
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Talk about an over-hyped technology that doesn't scale....
Anyone who mentions blockchain goes straight into the trash can.
" can feel a bit like trying to capture a unicorn... "
No problem, there are lots of virgins in the IT world.
AI and data science jobs are at the top of the list, in part because they’re relatively young technologies, ....
Data science isn't a technology. Many employers have trouble finding people because they don't know WTF they are looking for in the first place.
"Pfft! Look at this guy! He's got some stupid thing called Hah-dupe on his resume! We want someone that knows the data-science software!!"
They also want someone with plenty of experience but wont pay for it. Then there are the folks who are willing to pay but their recruiting practices weed everyone out who do have the skills.
Then there are the recruiters who get in the middle and fuck things up.....I remember getting back resumes that had "Perl" changed to "Pearl"
Thanks guys! Thanks! You made us both looks like idiots!!
An ass with lots of shins?
...are the most difficult hires.
I'm not young either, almost in my 50's - and still got hired in IT.
What surprises me though, is that our company have a habit of not hiring experienced staff, because they want to do the training and teaching themselves. We have a "teacher/mentor" culture in our offices meaning that when a new batch arrives, possibly with no knowledge of our infrastructure whatsoever - we train them meticulously. We have a high tolerance for failure (yes, most people will make mistakes, often quite expensive mistakes such as rebooting a server that has 100's of cash machines connected to it), but once they do that only ONCE - they'll likely never do it again. It's surprisingly effective. Also cost effective, as they get to be highly specialized and focused on our business and our customers.
The hardest ones to train, is the "experts". Completely age unrelated. Experts "knows so much" forehand, it becomes an uphill battle to explain to them everything. Some of them get offended that we imply that they "didn't know that" and it's almost like a mine-field trying to explain anything to people who know it all.
Fresh from the street - is the new IT gold. (And this comes from an almost 50 year 30+ in the IT business guy, me...who is as surprised as you probably are reading this), but it's quite true - I work in one of the biggest companies there is. I can't reveal who I work for as it's in my NDA, but if you work in a similar corporate, you'll totally get this.
What this world is coming to - is for you and me to decide.
(Read that title again carefully before responding.)
Lots of Indians have this amount of experience on their resumes. Why not Americans? :)
Seriously, anyone with a solid foundation in STL and C++03 could pick up Boost or the latest features in C++0x, but HR and managers don't want to hear it.
Yet another article written by a soft-skills proponent (aka management) who try so hard to justify their own existence.
At the end of the day none of the people you write about need you.
But hey, someone needs you write this drivel to make themselves feel relevant.
We're having difficulty finding someone who is a blockchain expert with 5+ years in Lightning Network experience.
HR won't let us hire anyone with less, and demands at least 2/3s of new Engineering hires be non-white non-male.
HR works for management. Remember that. They get the job specs from MANAGEMENT.
Management blames HR all the time because they are too chicken shit to fess up - hence why they hire HR people to do their dirty work.
A 20-something who doesn't think they know everything already.
That's the hardest hire.
Thee are none. And people on slashdot don‘t count, they spend too much time reading nonsense instead getting their fat asses up and get something done.
In smaller companies, discovered that cultural fit is the hardest to satisfy, above and beyond finding the matching skill set.
I’m sure that’s different in larger companies.
AC comments get piped to
... problem in 2 weeks for an hourly rate of no larger than 25$.
Those are really difficult to come by. We have been looking for 3 for ages.
A close second are those people that can make us happy even if we don't know what we want but we know exactly how much it may cost and when it's supposed to be finished. Tough one too that is. These IT and programming experts are so arrogant and really hard to work with.
We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca
If you can't find a "data scientist", try hiring a "statistician" instead. It just might work!
I'm currently in the job market. Many of the ads I'm seeing are extensive, detailed, collections of technologies and skills but only 3-5 years experience. What's worse is how often there is no clear distinction between what is truly essential and what is a "plus".
This kind of posting selects against the honest, and anyone with more than a mild case of Impostor Syndrome.
Oh, ad might catch the unicorn's attention, but if the applicant truly has the extensive experience asked for - why would they work for YOUR company?
It is just not easy to get HR and C*s to want to pay them enough.
Therein lies the REAL issue.
I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
The trend I've noticed is that companies prefer to hire someone who can't easily move to another company, yet have the option of terminating employment for any reason whatsoever (i.e. an extreme version of employment-at-will) For example, this is why they prefer H-1B and contingent employees. H-1B's can move, but it's a lot of work on the part of the H-1B employer. Since they are locked in, the company can pay them less. Contingent workers can be easily let go without the worries of the employee suing the company, or having to pay for pesky things like health insurance, vacation, holidays, unemployment insurance, and worker's compensation.
As for off-shoring to overseas locations. The problem companies face is that most of the rest of the developed world has stricter labor laws and better contingent worker protections then the US, as well as single payer health care and statutory vacation laws. Also employment-at-will is an alien concept all developed countries and in most emerging economies such as China. Salaries in the developing countries are also on the rise.
By using H-1B and temporary workers and employing them in the US, the company can avoid paying market rates for labor and have a captive workforce which can be increased or reduced at a moment's notice which makes the bean counters, and investors happier.
The problem is this tactic only works if there is a good supply of H-1B and contingent workers to be exploited. We need better protections for H-1B and contingent employees in the US, as well as a reform/harmonization of "Employment-at-will so that workers are not taken advantage of, and the global talent pool truly operates as a free market.
Basically everything coming our way lately stinks of entitled millennial.
Basically every last mean trope you've ever heard. We've seen them all.
It's at the point that the owner is considering just shutting down when they retire.
Chas - The one, the only.
THANK GOD!!!
Because lets face it, most project managers and project leads are pretty terrible picks.
So your architects end up hand holding and building the project plan and showing someone with elementary excel skills at best how to pull metrics (do their job too more or less).
And the architect needs a full stack background regardless of their area of expertise, otherwise you're just getting in the way of another architect who does have the full stack background.
And as others have pointed out already the expectation is that this unicorn work for minimum wage.
To salt the wound the diversity pick project manager gets paid more because somehow they are more important, even though the unicorn does their job for them in the end.
And finally if you've made it this far and you still want the job and are qualified, this will be the actual job experience for a modern young unicorn architect:
- Get hired
- Spend the first 2 weeks getting introduced to the water cooler (because politics)
- Get notified that the team is growing and 6 new people are joining, but none of them are here in the USA
- Get told that even though you specifically asked for a remote position and ended up taking a cube farm job anyway, that its OK that the guys in India are remote but it would not be OK for you to be remote
- Find out that this is because their plan is for YOU to help the diversity pick project manager build a project plan that the offshore guys will fullfil at night
Now your 9-5 unicorn full stack architect has transitioned into a management role for 26-32 hours of the week between meetings with the diversity pick project manager and meetings with the offshore guys and working on the project plan (instead of architecture).
With the remaining 8 hours a week that you have to do the job you actually hired on to do, you don't get anything done because:
- idiot managers take unicorn developers out of their natural habitats (bedrooms, closets, private rooms, garages, wherever is quiet)
- and try to stuff 300 of them in a sardine can cube farm
- so you can't even hear yourself think
- And dumb dumb diversity pick project manager says some dumb crap like "well I can deal with it, why don't you just bring some headphones?"
If you want to solve the talent shortage problem, fire the idiot project managers and quit making your 'talent' that you are short of manage teams of offshore slave labor.
By the way as someone who has had to manage offshore teams for over a decade for a variety of dumb reasons, CEOs, CTOs, and decision makers, keep this in mind as you get schmoozed by the next offshore cheap labor firm:
These off shore company's more often than not have the same problems that the on shore teams have. They have the same development, talent shortage, project management, and quality problems.
And like all business relationships go, you never hear about these problems. You just get the bill, and excuses of why you should have to pay for their shortcomings, f ups, and mistakes.
And you're not exposed to it, so its just plain expensive.
The company I am at now is paying over 400 offshore developers to do what would take no BS about 4-5 'talented' developers to do.
The company employs 20+ 'talented' architects but they are all managing offshore teams instead of developing.
Thats where your local talent is going, Off shore. And the 'off shore talent' you're trading the 'o shore talent' out for, is whole teams of often extremely amateur developers, plus inject a communication gap of neither side of the team can understand the other guys well (even though we all speak english).
There is no talent shortage. There is an excess of idiot managers though, many of which think that more cheap labor is better than more talented labor, because why else would they pay the remaining talent to manage the cheap labor?
And then whine about it to congress? Lol.
I mean, that guy sucks.
the right candidate can feel a bit like trying to capture a unicorn
That is 100% correct and that's because companies and more specifically HR doesn't deal with reality. Unicorn basically means looking for a person with a combination of skills, abilities and experience that either doesn't exist or is extremely RARE (< .01% of the population) This idea that every tech company could put out a job requisition for an infinite amount of time and eventually snag a unicorn is not even remotely based in reality. Companies need to put the crack pipe down and start dealing in reality and adjusting their expectations accordingly just like we all do. No one gets special treatment.
We'll make great pets
The IT field is swamped with semi-competent and outright incompetent people. People who have an understanding of engineering that stops at "it worked when we tested it", that do the most outrageously stupid things that cause bizarre failures later on. People that are incapable of reading documentation. People that do not even know the basics about technology they use daily to build applications. And so on.
Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
"Technical Fad Coordinator"
Table-ized A.I.
He's a libtard; don't expect proper spelling or grammer.
I know a doctor who has the same problem hiring docs for his practice. For some crazy reason, new docs want a life outside of work - many are women and want a family too. They don't care if they make less - (they realize they can have a real nice life on $150,000/year and pay their loans and they don't need to make $500,000/year) The doc can't understand that yes, it IS possible.
I have one of those millennials you're complaining about. He learned from Dad that devoting yourself to the company gets you nowhere in the long run. The owner will devote himself 24/7 to the company because it's his - and that's his right and it's necessary to build something.
But to expect others to do the same for just a paycheck is unreasonable. And many folks work to live: not live to work.
You know why folks die so soon after retirement? Because their identity and life revolved around work. And in the tech profession, our career lifespans are nowhere near other professions.
It's surprisingly hard to find technical trainers. Very few candidates make it through a phone interview, let alone an example teach. Admittedly it's an unusual combination of skills. We want people that have serious development chops, know multiple languages well (although no need to be perfect), and can teach. The pay, I believe, is good (I do it professionally). It's still stressful at times, but it's a different kind of stress. Agencies have been next to useless finding candidates because they understand none of the skills or how to screen for them. Many people in the tech world don't know these roles exist, or don't know what it takes, so if you're curious here's the kind of things you would need to do/be to make it through an interview, and land the job:
Technical
* Demonstrate clear fundamentals in your 'home' language, e.g. in Java I might ask about pass by value and how that affects code, or in C++ explore where and when you use the destructor. These are not obscure corner cases, although later stages of an interview could move to that but the technical interview is mostly done by then
* Demonstrate authenticity, e.g. have you experienced the stress of dealing with a 'sev 1' and survived to tell the tale
Teaching
* Can you stand up in front of people and engage them in learning
* Can you think on your feet and derive an answer from existing knowledge
* Can you admit when you don't know something, research the answer, and come back to the group
* Can you present information clearly
Last of all, can you do all of this with enthusiasm? I genuinely don't know if it's just a rare combination of skills, or we just can't find the people.
I like to understand how a professional arrived at their current level of stated understanding. Rather than the technology experts I expect, I find experienced users with a lack of basic knowledge.
Examples include data scientists with no domain knowledge, applcation performance analysts with no understanding of bytecode virtual machines, real systems architecture or even performance modeling, or network/systems administrators who canâ(TM)t explain a TCP handshake.
just don't trust anyone enough.
"He's a libtard; don't expect proper spelling or grammer. "
Next time, be less quick on the insults and more on the introspection.
We decided a long time ago that allowing companies to hire and foster slave-driver skills in their upper management was not the right way to go as a society, and thus, we passed minimum wage laws in order to keep those managers from using capitalism, which is just a tool, to force people to compete to live the most povertous lives. This forced those managers to adapt and learn or, at least I'd like to think for the majority of them, into shoe-polisher jobs where they belong. It's really easy for upper-management to engage in wolf-pack masterbatory endorphin-dumping, and today, what we are seeing is a rapidly improving labor market and those same managers, still in their ego-induced stupors, are finding out they are trapped in organzations that are hostile to them.
The hardest hire is the one where you happened to have lucked out, got pure platinum-clad brains, allowed them to set up an immaculate set of systems, mis-treated the shazbot out of them, and then when they finally left, put together a jabber-waucke set of job requirements and assumed the market would provide it for peanuts. The market laughed at you, without you knowing, and then you eventually hire a candidate who lies about everything. Then, they completely FSCK your organization 9 ways from sunday because once they are in, you can't find someone who isn't lieing. Maybe you turn the position over a few times before, invariably, you hire an outsourcer and some consultants who decide to financially rape you like a dom femme fatale. And it repeats. Because the problem isn't the staff, it's the management and society rewarding asset-stripping of human capital.
Ultimately, the best hires are the ones who take responsability for and figure out how to cost-optimize systems, applying sound science to the organization. However, most organizations are so top-heavy with administrative staff that the concept of continuously improving process is completely divided from the day-to-day operations of the organization. Nobody cares about doing it better, they only care about appearing to and getting raises.
Are experts working for peanuts.
There is no shortage of experienced people in the market, there is a shortage of people willing to pay for that skills.
The rest is just bullshit talk.
At the best, you get offloaded to a benefit dodging staffing agency, at worst get nothing due to not being the perfect person.
"Forget the engineers." -Carly Fiorina, briber of MIT Technology Review.
I'm so glad that New York exists, because otherwise we'd have to come up with someplace to put all the New Yorkers.
Those who advocate genocide deserve every protection afforded by law, and none afforded by common human decency.
This might sounds like a joke, but we have had a lot of trouble finding Java developers. Luckily we were able to find 2. They live in another city but that is okay. Most likely the reason for this is that all Java developers are already hired for projects.
Go look up how many people in Democratic presidential administrations have been convicted or indicted for a crime in modern history. Then go look up the same figure for the Republicans. Okay, that's giving you too much credit. Here's a link. tl;dr: 120 (R) vs 3 (D)
Apparently you don't know what corruption looks like. Which would be why you're a Trump voter.
But the true unicorns are candidates who can not only deepen their bench of tech skills but keep an eye on the bottom line.
So the true unicorn is someone who does everything and costs nothing? Pretty sure that isn't just desired in tech.. Not overly surprised they're having trouble finding such people..
But, first, you need people who are capable of writing documentation. When companies stopped including actually helpful printed documentation--or, hell, a CD full of PDFs--prepared by professional technical writers (as opposed to foisting the task on the coders who can barely cobble together a coherent paragraph), the reading of documentation became known as a waste of time. "It's on their web site." Is it? Usually it's not. In some cases, it might be there but buried in a horribly managed wiki that sometimes contains conflicting information depending on how you navigate the damned thing.
CUR ALLOC 20195.....5804M
Actual job posted on a local job board here in Atlanta. This is why the IT field is utterly broken.
Computer Engineer I - Associate Computer Engineer
Seeking entry level computer engineer. The successful candidate will have demonstrated competence in the following areas:
- Analog and Digital Design in Computer Systems
- Board layout, routing, and manufacturing
- Strong programming skills in C, C#, ASM, Java, Python, Ruby, and Go
- Algorithm design
- Database Design and Architecture
- Networking System Design
- Wireless propagation modeling, Wifi Network Design and Deployment
Education: Masters degree in Electrical and/or Computer Engineering, Computer Science, plus 0-2 years verifiable experience in all of the above disciplines
Competitive Salary and Benefits starting at $55K + 3 weeks paid time off
At least not yet.
I've seen the job ads without the laundry lists of technologies--you've seen 'em: lists that seem to indicate they're trying to fill three open positions with a single hire (sysadmin, DBA, developer)--and that's great.
The trouble is, though, that the word hasn't trickled down to the actual hiring managers and their lieutenants doing the interviewing. The actual interviews are endless questions like "have you used this/that/the other/what version/etc?" which puts the candidates on the defensive just moments after "Hello" and the handshake and leaving little time to talk about how the candidate's background would fit in and help to solve the company's problems. To the interviewers, they're already turned off by the fact that your previous or current employer chose to use different software products than the company has chosen. "Oh my God... this guy doesn't know any of the software we chose to build our business processes on. Next! (Damn! Maybe we can get Joe to come back...)"
CUR ALLOC 20195.....5804M
I've recently graduated with a degree in Information System, and for some reason, every job I search for keeps asking for significant amount of experience using hardware that I haven't touched, let alone afford to use, or at least have some kind of IT/IS experience. When I had two terms left to go (I was being retrained under the US Trade Acts program), I started looking for internship opportunities, only to find I was running into the same issue: experience with hardware or software that no one without a significant amount of money can reasonably afford. Another option, I found, that might help open doors is to get some help desk experience, and I'm finding plenty of those. I just can't get any of them because I can't use a phone (I'm deaf, by the way), and offering to take up email and online chat support results in a "Yeah, no.. we need someone to answer phones.". By the time I was finished with school, my trade acts check ended, and I ended up going back to my previous line of work; manufacturing. I'm now building chip foundry tools that goes to Intel, Samsung, and a host of other microchip manufacturers, and every day I come home, looking for work, I keep running into that inane experience requirements. I thought internship was supposed to teach and train people to get those experience, so why are they asking for significant experience? Oh right, AS/BS/MS degree, shit wages, if any. So, how does one like me get past the HR barrier, and actually find work? Even claiming some experience with my homelab isn't enough, because I've not any experience using an expensive Cisco hardware in said homelab.
the hours make it hard to have a life. It's generally 12s. 3 two weeks then 4 the next. Meaning a 48 hour shift once a week. Most cities that have tech jobs also have long commutes. Meaning you spend 3-4 days doing nothing but work. It's hard to have a life like that. Borderline impossible if you're stuck on the graveyard shift.
Companies could compensate by paying more, but they just don't do that anymore. They just live with the problems. So you get a mix of old guys that can't get hired anywhere else (being old in tech sucks), incompetents and the occasional young guy that doesn't last. If you're one of the competent old guys your life is hell because you're the one stuck holding the fort down while the incompetents do what incompetents do and they young guys spend their time studying for their next job.
While this is going on your bosses are trying to find a way to make your job obsolete with better software & outsourcing; so every other week you've got new software in beta form that's supposed to make your job easy enough for the incompetents. Your bosses know the team's a mess and can't do their jobs but the last thing they're gonna do is pay enough to get an entire crew of competent people.
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Blah, blah, me, myself and I
There you are spamming amazon and youtube affiliate links with yet another fake account, you revenue stream hogging disgusting fat sexist tube of lard, Christopher Dale Reimer!
You can be sure I will be watching this fake account too. I know this is you because you told me you were working on your freepass 11 file server and you are so dumb that you can't even masquerade yourself properly.
Now, I told you I was out of meds last week and you didn't even care to contact me you lazy fucker.
How many times do I have to express the emergency of the situation??????
The python click script you wrote for my pheromone revenue stream web site suddenly stopped to work!!!!!!
You fucking incompetent python script writer!!!
When it works, I get 4000+ clicks a day on my pheromone revenue stream web site but only 5 or 6 without it!!!!
Now, it seems like you dont care and that you have abandoned me you heartless fucking pig!
Bonus:
Here is a story that creimer told me when convincing me what a hard life he had:
The tree was him and the tree knot was his butt hole!
So, his uncle packed his fat ass with lard and with his cock! Not that it makes much of a difference but anyway, there it is!
Signed:
Ethell, The girl that used to love you and now hates you, burn in hell where you belong you sexist pig!
Blah, blah, blah, me, myself and I...
There you are spamming amazon and youtube affiliate links with yet another fake account, you revenue stream hogging disgusting fat sexist tube of lard, Christopher Dale Reimer!
You can be sure I will be watching this fake account too. I know this is you because you told me you were working on your freepass 11 file server and you are so dumb that you can't even masquerade yourself properly.
Now, I told you I was out of meds last week and you didn't even care to contact me you lazy fucker.
How many times do I have to express the emergency of the situation??????
The python click script you wrote for my pheromone revenue stream web site suddenly stopped to work!!!!!!
You fucking incompetent python script writer!!!
When it works, I get 4000+ clicks a day on my pheromone revenue stream web site but only 5 or 6 without it!!!!
Now, it seems like you dont care and that you have abandoned me you heartless fucking pig!
Bonus:
Here is a story that creimer told me when convincing me what a hard life he had:
The tree was him and the tree knot was his butt hole!
So, his uncle packed his fat ass with lard and with his cock! Not that it makes much of a difference but anyway, there it is!
Signed:
Ethell, The girl that used to love you and now hates you, burn in hell where you belong you sexist pig!
Gee... once we're done eliminating you because you're too old, and/or don't have a degree, and/or have health issues, and/or aren't cute/handsome, and/or haven't been employed for a while, and/or want to (or need to) work remotely (and never even got to "can you do the job well"), gosh, gee, howdy, we just can't find anybody!
Who'd-a thunk it? /s
Speaking of the USA: If every HR department in the country was suddenly eliminated by an act of the Spaghetti Monster, we'd be a lot more productive and progressive country.
This is simple creimer psychology:
If pay scale is 20-50K, creimer is at the top of the scale!
In the words of a former boss of mine "Good, available, no police record. Pick two".
It gets better now that there are actually university courses teaching IT-security, then again, it just ain't the same material, not the same mindset that you find in the old peeps.
Maybe 'cause back when I was young, the only ones you could actually hire were the ones that were actually good enough to not get caught (and thus have no record)...
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
There is no such thing as a shortage of labor. I can prove it. Open any job, I don't care what it is or what the requirements are, and set the salary at $1 billion annually. You will not have any shortage of qualified candidates to choose from. Now set the salary at $1 per year and see what happens to your pool of candidates.
What we have here is a shortage of people willing to work for the price employers are offering. The market offers an easy answer to this problem. Let's see how many employers are smart enough to figure it out.
finding people who actually understand statistics as opposed to just claiming that they do.
Just because you are paranoid does not mean that no-one is out to get you.
but they want it cheap. You have to have at least 20 different skills but they will only pay $80K/yr.
Great video BTW. When I want a hotel I could go to Yelp or Tripadvisor, but I prefer to find Youtube videos where fat toothless men who obviously have never been to the hotel say a few words.
You are really building a brand for yourself! It's not just that, there's also videos of fountains and telling us what "Hyundai" translates to into English! Your retirement is going to be a dream!
Thank You!
Also, don't forget to participate in Team Creimer YouTube poll about being in favor of a 2 to 3 weeks government shutdown so help desk can install patches and vote yes.
--
Team Creimer for a 3 weeks government shutdown.
Hahaha nice one creimer!
Here is the story of creimy the mountain and his royalties!
This story was inspired by cdreimer, the parent poster. The story was written by a visionary on cdreimer birth date.
The story of creimy the mountain explained:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
Creimy is a typical mountain who poses for postcards, living with his wife Ethel, a tree, between the cities of Rosamund and Gorman, California. The main features on his mountainous face are two large caves, resembling eyes, and a cliff for a jaw, which moves up and down when he talks, puffing up dust and boulders.
click above link to read more, he even destroyed Edwards Air Force Base just by passing by...
Listen to the audio version here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
"Creimy The Mountain"
includes quotes from Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1 in D major (Edward Elgar), Johnny's Theme (Paul Anka), Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder (Crawford), O Mein Papa (Paul Burkhard), Over The Rainbow (Harburg/Arlen), Star-Spangled Banner (Smith/Key), Suite: Judy Blue Eyes (Stephen Stills)
One, two, three
CREIMY the Mountain
CREIMY the Mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and Gorman
With his stunning wife ETHELL, A tree! A tree!
CREIMY was a mountain ETHELL was a tree Growing off of his shoulder
CREIMY was a mountain
(CREIMY was a mountain!)
ETHELL was a tree Growing off of his shoulder
(ETHELL was a tree growing off of his shoulder)
(hey, hey hey!)
Creimy had two big
Caves for eyes,
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up 'n down,
And whenever it did,
He'd puff out some dust,
And hack up a boulder (HACK!) Hack up a boulder (HACK! HACK!)
Hack up a boulder (HACK! HACK! HACK!) Up a boulder
Now, one day, now I believe it was on a Tuesday, a man in a checkered double-knit suit drove up in a large El Dorado Cadillac, leased from BOB SPREEN
("Where the freeways meet in Downey!")
And he laid a HUGE, BULGING ENVELOPE right at the corner of CREIMY THE MOUNTAIN, that was right where his 'foot' was supposed to be.
Now, CREIMY THE MOUNTAIN, he couldn't believe it! All those postcards he'd posed for, for ALL OF THOSE YEARS, and finally, now, AT LAST, his Royalties!
Royalties! Royalties Royalties! Royalty check is in, honey!
Yes, CREIMY THE MOUNTAIN was RICH! Yes, and his eyeball-caves, they widened in amazement, and his jaw (which was a cliff), well it dropped thirty feet!
A bunch of dust puffed out! Rocks and boulders hacked up, (hack! hack!) crushing 'The LINCOLN'!
I gave him the money He acted real funny He hocked up a rock and It TOTALLED my car!
Oh, do you Know any trucks Might be bound for THE VALLEY?
I don't wanna stand here All night in this bar (Dear Lord)
I don't wanna stand here All night in this bar (No shit!)
I don't wanna stand here All night in this bar!
By two o'clock, when the bars are already closed down, CREIMY had broken 'THE BIG NEWS' to ETHELL. And with dust and boulders everywhere, CREIMY, choked with excitement, announced
"ETHELL, we're going on a VACATION!"
Yes, and they WERE going on a vacation! (Oh, and ETHELL, ETHELL, ETHELL, like every little woman, she of course was very excited! She creaked a little bit, and some old birds flew off of her.) CREIMY told ETHELL they were going to Yes! They were going to NEW YORK!
"ETHELL, we're going to New York!"
But first they were gonna stop in LAS VEGAS
It's off to LAS VEGAS to check out the lounges Pull a few handles,
And drink a few beers, (Oh, ETHELL!)
ETHELL, my darling, you know that I love you!
I'm glad we could have a Vacation this year! (Oh, NEET-O!)
Glad we could have a Vacation this year!
They left that night, crunc
It works just as well with used lottery tickets. They attract creimer instantaneously.
Have you stopped sodomizing your neighbor's cattle yet?
And naive enough to work for next to nothing.
A poll was added at the 30 second mark of the government shutdown video. Also, a poll got added to the hotel video. Check it out!
It's exceedingly hard to find good developers. These are people who don't over complicate the trivial things and can deal with complexity where required. People who are clean, tidy and always read the manual, run tests and ensure they actually know what they are doing and why what they do works. Finding developers that aren't buzzword enthusiasts is very difficult. Developers who don't say things like good code has units tests, comments, microservices, REST, is in this language, uses these tools, has CI, etc as opposed to the fundamental properties of a good software solution. Developers who can indent, program without an IDE, program without a framework, can escape, unroll code, use polymorphism at runtime, etc. Finding people who can really just program without all of the fluff is difficult.
You joke... But we're on track for another government shutdown on Friday, 2/9 @ 12:01AM. The fifth Continuing Resolution is up for vote.
Oracle developers that work well with other teams. Haven't met one in my life.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Comment removed based on user account deletion
DevOps is not dead, it's actually, one of the greatest things since off shoring. Basically, it's 3 career paths (coders + sysadmin + dba) combined with less pay.
Do it all the time, not a crime and saves on the dime.
Yes, yes, it's so tough to get hired into an IT position as a white male. It can't possibly be because your skills aren't up to snuff, or because it becomes clear in the first few minutes of the interview that you're an insufferable asshole.
I need someone with twenty years low-level Android platform experience and 30 years .Net platform experience for $23/hour on Corp-to-Corp.
You may laugh, but I've actually seen job descriptions like that. Now, I recognize that these are typically posted by people who are hiring an H-1B and just need to create the paper trail in case they are audited, but ten or so years ago when I first started seeing them, I didn't realize that -- I thought they really, sincerely needed someone with that experience.
The biggest problem in IT is finding people who are actually qualified to work in real IT environments.
The majority of the people I've worked with, have either grossly overestimated their skill levels or flat out made them up. I've lost count on how many times I've had someone try and hold their years in IT or title over me and claim that proves their skill levels, then they've failed to login to a server via SSH (which really happened from TWO CTO's).
The problem, I find, is qualification and finding people with real skill.
"hard hires" are a self-inflicted wound. Multiple skills with significant experience are desired while expected to be young enough to work for entry level wages.
"Consensus" in science is _always_ a political construct.