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Nike Bricks Its Shoes With a Faulty Firmware Update (arstechnica.com)

Posted by msmash on from the internet-of-crap-devices dept.

AmiMoJo writes: Nike users are experiencing some technical difficulties in the wild world of connected footwear. Nike's $350 "Adapt BB" sneakers are the latest in the company's line of self-lacing shoes, and they come with the "Nike Adapt" app for Android and iOS. The app pairs with the shoes and lets you adjust the tightness of the laces, customize the lights (yeah, there are lights), and see, uh, how much battery life your shoes have left. The only problem: Nike's Android app doesn't work. Android users report that their new kicks aren't paring with the app properly, and some customers report failed firmware updates for the shoes, which render them unable to pair with the app at all. "My left shoe won't even reboot." writes one owner.

26 of 187 comments (clear)

  1. So it has come to this by mccrew · · Score: 5, Funny

    My left shoe won't even reboot...

    --
    Hey, Windows users, there is no such thing as "forward" slash, there is only slash and backslash.
    1. Re:So it has come to this by Kaenneth · · Score: 4, Funny

      https://i.imgur.com/2CFWiIM.mp...

    2. Re:So it has come to this by alvinrod · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Tell me about it. Here I was thinking I had problems.

    3. Re:So it has come to this by A10Mechanic · · Score: 5, Funny

      Poor guy, just going in circles now.

    4. Re:So it has come to this by mccrew · · Score: 4, Funny

      Heh, I was expecting you to: follow up with this.

      --
      Hey, Windows users, there is no such thing as "forward" slash, there is only slash and backslash.
    5. Re:So it has come to this by Major_Disorder · · Score: 4, Funny

      My left shoe won't even reboot...

      So I guess if it won't reboot, then it must be dead. Don't be too upset though, it is probably in heaven. It turns out shoes have soles.

      --
      First law of people: People are generally stupid.
    6. Re:So it has come to this by scdeimos · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's not dead, it's pining for the fjords.

    7. Re:So it has come to this by Tablizer · · Score: 2

      Poor guy, just going in circles now.

      An infinite loop is probably better than endless recursion. Autocannibalism rarely ends well.

      By the way, stuck in circles is about how 2/3 of battle-bot tournaments end.

      --
      Table-ized A.I.
    8. Re:So it has come to this by supremebob · · Score: 2

      I think that the left shoe goes into "foot strangulation" mode if you forget to renew your license after a month. You'll have to amputate your foot to get it off if you don't renew at that point.

    9. Re:So it has come to this by geekmux · · Score: 5, Funny

      My left shoe won't even reboot...

      Normally I'm rather dismissive of the smart-asses who try and dismiss this as "First World Problems", but fuck me if that doesn't fit like a fucking glove...

    10. Re:So it has come to this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Have you tried taking it off an' putting it on again?

    11. Re:So it has come to this by cdsparrow · · Score: 2

      You also have to be careful not to cut your JTAG off your new pillows and mattress or you might not be able to update their fluffiness properly...

    12. Re:So it has come to this by Highdude702 · · Score: 2

      Yea, just cut the sole open to get to the JTAG header and flash it. O.o Good as new!

    13. Re:So it has come to this by smoot123 · · Score: 2

      but fuck me if that doesn't fit like a fucking glove...

      Sneaker. Fits like a good sneaker. And you're not wrong.

  2. Firmware... for SHOES? by cmdr_klarg · · Score: 3, Insightful

    One more thing on the list of Things That Should Not Have Software.

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    THE SOFTWARE, IT NO WORKY!!!
  3. Zion Williamson by ardmhacha · · Score: 2

    So is that what happened to Zion Williamson?

    https://www.npr.org/2019/02/21... ...And then a mere 33 seconds into the game, on a routine play, Williamson dribbled near the foul line when his left leg buckled, his left blue-and-white Nike sneaker ripped apart at the seams and he tumbled to the floor, grabbing his right knee in pain....

  4. Definition by SuperKendall · · Score: 5, Funny

    My left shoe won't even reboot...

    Well there's your problem, you should try to re-shoe.

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  5. April fools? by Fly+Swatter · · Score: 2

    Seriously, this is something that would have bean an excellent joke article merely 10 years ago. Now it is reality - man, upper echelon first world problems.

  6. Firmware for shoes... by slipped_bit · · Score: 2

    ... WTF has this world come to?

    1. Re:Firmware for shoes... by DontBeAMoran · · Score: 4, Funny

      I tried ad targeting, but the cops arrested me for shooting at billboards.

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      #DeleteFacebook
  7. Tracy Kidder should write this one up by DulcetTone · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Sole of a New Machine

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    tone
  8. Message for Nike by OneHundredAndTen · · Score: 2

    Many are going to be solely disappointed.

  9. Re:Shoe Lacing, but not as I have ever known it by msauve · · Score: 2

    "Who is this product really targeting?"

    People with more money than sense. You really didn't get that?

    --
    "National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
  10. Not exactly by Ecuador · · Score: 2

    Not exactly, in this case it wasn't an update, but a firmware bug. They missed some bounds checking or something so they players foot ended up beyond the container (shoe) space.

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    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Polar Scope Align for iOS
  11. Reality has clearly overtaken satire by ffkom · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "Shoes with firmware" are so stupid and hilarious that people would dismiss them as unrealistic nonsense even in a comedy movie.

  12. Re:When happens when a shoe gets bricked? by gweihir · · Score: 2

    You cannot tie it. Pretty bad ;-)

    --
    Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.