User: Fist! Of! Death!

I like it

On: Quantum Computer To Launch Next Week

It ships to you 1 day before you decide to purchase it...

forget RIAA

On: DNA-rainbow, A New Vision of Human Chromosomes

I demand royalties

Re:I wonder if this has anything to do with

On: Dell Laptops Have Shocking New Problem

Violently debating in agreement yes
Maybe Dell could install a mini van der Graaf generator for added fun anyway

Re:I wonder if this has anything to do with

On: Dell Laptops Have Shocking New Problem

You will see sweet FA - unless it happens to be a nice 50Hz sustained electrostatic discharge.

I want to see

On: A Wikipedia WIthout Graffiti

The job spec they put out for that editor...

Re:I wonder if this has anything to do with

On: Dell Laptops Have Shocking New Problem

Bollocks. A static discharge is in the region of Kilo Volts, and is basically a very quick spike in the time domain. This not be static...

Neal Stephenson Snowcrash

On: Public Iris Scanning Device In the Works

Knew it all along. Time to get me a 'poon or a pizza delivery job..oh and a samurai sword too.

What If

On: Measure Anything with a Camera and Software

You take a photograph of a bathroom or kitchen containing hundreds of square tiles? Digi Target that baby...
Seriously people - buy a measuring tape. Its not that difficult.

As a complete aside

On: Low Earth Orbit Junk Yard Nearly Full

I simply love the link to a description of Earth on the website http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/science/topics/ earth_planet/index.html?inline=nyt-classifier
Who wrote this, Lonely Planet Alpha Centauri?
Last time I checked you could sum it up in 2 words: "Mostly Harmless". Now I guess it would be "Most harmless, watch for debris on approach".

Re:Typical

On: Low Earth Orbit Junk Yard Nearly Full

I'm guessing you really would welcome invading alien overlords with open arms.
Coincidentally, cold day-old brocolli disgusts me.

Re:The solution?

On: Low Earth Orbit Junk Yard Nearly Full

Or even better - put the fricking magnets on fricking sharks! Yes! Sharks with fricking magnets on their heads!

Re:Not very detailed

On: Parking Attendant 2.0

Well it probably reboots to Pong at the very least. Which would be bad news for your car/paddle

Re:WTF?

On: Aqua Teen Stunt Costs Turner and Agency $2M

Just imagine it had a countdown sequence in LEDs until the movie release...oh the stampede!
I do agree with you on the reaction though. I hail from the happy Southern Arfican 3rd world and even during the terrorist attacks of the 1980s I don't think something like this would have even got a second look.
So I guess on average reckless apathy is £2 million cheaper than paranoid vigilance.

Re:Not very detailed

On: Parking Attendant 2.0

Probably a Towers of Hanoi type problem. i.e. economically shifting other parked cars to liberate the one right at the back. Could probably overcome it by intelligent stacking using previous park times for the same number plate etc.
So in short probably no problem from a codiing point of view - reliability of the 'robots' (read moving shelf thingies) is probably the real issue

Re:Phew

On: Finding New Code

but only enlightened Monks can become one with CPAN...

iWankers

On: iPhone Lawsuit Put On Hold For The Moment

The lot of them

You see

On: Scientists Offered Cash to Dispute Climate Study

Instinctively everybody knows that version 1.0 of this Energy(tm) app we have written to support Human Civilization(tm) version ?.0 is inherently buggy. There is a memory leak, and the cache is filling up and the leak is gaining momentum. We need to debug, but the original developers don't want to play because their stock options depend on version 1.0 running for a long time, screw everything else.
Anyway, I am sure that $10,000 to fund possible holes in this report may actually be better value for money than the bullshit research that gets fed down the news pipes daily.

(Please note that Energy(tm) and Human Civilization(tm) are licensed trademarks of God Inc. Any misuse will incur the full wrath of God Inc's omnipotent and lightning-wielding legal department)

Re:Tuna

On: Cloning the Smell of the Sea

I see your Manatee and raise you a Dungong, the unsung speedhump http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/account s/information/Dugong_dugon.html

Re:Tuna

On: Cloning the Smell of the Sea

I do yearn for the old days when it was 85% tuna, 15% dolphin. The taste was much more subtle.

Re:Fist Say:

On: Become the Fifth Space Tourist

Surely a Futurama fan would at least suggest cryogenic suspension??

Re:Smell of the sea?

On: Cloning the Smell of the Sea

Ah the fools! They have unwittingly given us the chemical formula! Bwuha ha ha ha ha! We shall be millionaires!

Smell of the sea?

On: Cloning the Smell of the Sea

This is not a new discovery - Seinfeld's Kramer tried to bottle it under the monkier 'Beach'. Kalvin Clein howerver stiffed him and marketed it as 'Ocean'. I reckon they should employ fragrance lawyers NOW!

Fist Say:

On: Become the Fifth Space Tourist

Yeah ok - but what is there to do there?

Just wait

On: Underground Water on Mars?

For the damned Mars Mineral water brand to hit Earth shelves...

Re:Isn't this "ray" easily blocked?

On: US Military Tests Non-Lethal Heat Ray

That is actually the millitary's masterplan. Once the infidel scum are out in the middle of the desert wearing full metal armour they will self-baste and then Uncle Sam can save those horrendous Heat-Ray(tm) power bills!