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User: Grandiloquence

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Comments · 55

  1. Re:By that logic.... on McDonald's UK CEO Blames Video Games for Childhood Obesity · · Score: 1

    Quad Core diarrhea? Oh man, that gives new meaning to the term "race condition".

  2. Re:These things happen on Diebold Voter Fraud Rumors in New Hampshire Primaries · · Score: 2, Insightful

    This is New Hampshire we're talking about here. The "blacker" voters are the ones that have been out in the sun a few minutes longer.

  3. Re:A question - on 8 Can't Miss Predictions... for 1998 · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Students of Asian dissent" would include anyone who studies people who claim not to be Asian, obviously.

  4. Re:I bet the Mafiaa Won't Like That on WTO Awards Caribbean Country Right to Ignore US Copyright · · Score: 1

    Did you just make a bet online? That's illegal you know!

  5. Re:melt in your mouth not in your mobo on Faster Chips Are Leaving Programmers in Their Dust · · Score: 1

    So, what you're saying is the sun is a beowulf cluster of 25Ghz Pentiums?

  6. Re:Can you feel it? on NJ Blogger Fights for Anonymous Free Speech · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Specifically, they would have said:

    "If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." -- Samuel Adams

  7. Great, another ISP excuse on Government-Sponsored Cyberattacks on the Rise · · Score: 2, Funny

    Me: So, why is my internet out this time?

    Tech Support: Um, let me check. (spins the wheel of random technical failures) Looks like acid rain. Sorry.

    Me: That's what you told me last time! I think you're lying to me!

    Tech Support: Ok, let me check it again. (spins the wheel) Ok, it's actually a government sponsored cyber attack.

    Me: Gah.

  8. Re:Grain of Salt Required? on Exploding Cell Phone Battery Kills · · Score: 1

    If you remember article titles from 3 year old slashdot articles, it might be time to reacquaint yourself with the giant ball of fire floating in our sky. Or at least, you know, visit another website.

  9. Re:Harlan Ellison on Star Trek XI Plot Details Revealed · · Score: 5, Informative

    Based on Penny Arcade's encounter with Mr. Ellison, I would say the man is unhappy quite often at just about everything.

  10. Re:...and? on US Official Urges Americans To Reconsider Privacy · · Score: 2, Funny

    If you use Lee Chin, the authorities will think you're a pirate who doesn't upload enough.

  11. I, for one... on US Official Urges Americans To Reconsider Privacy · · Score: 5, Informative

    I, for one, welcome the impending removal of our old tyrannical police-state masters. www.ronpaul2008.com

  12. Re:Lawmakers Delay Taco Immunity Vote on Lawmakers Delay Telco Immunity Vote · · Score: 1

    Luckily there aren't any lobbyists shilling for Big Taco.

  13. First things first on Microsoft Wants 360 To Have PS2-Like Lifespan · · Score: 0, Redundant

    I'm guessing they need to produce a console that doesn't die after 30 days before thinking about making a console that lasts for 7 years.

  14. Re:acts of gord on Confessions of a Gamestop Manager · · Score: 2, Informative

    The difference is that those people richly deserved it.

  15. Future Society on The Implications of a Facebook Society · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think they're referring to the Facebook Wars of 2013, after which the nominal Facebook World Government will require all citizens to publish their most intimate details online for public scrutiny.

  16. Re:Suspicious... on Microsoft Plans $500 Million Chicago Data Center · · Score: 1

    The other 200k square feet will be used for the secret government data center that monitors all electronic speak for crimethink.

  17. Re:brilliant on NASA Performs Zero-G Robot Surgery for Mars, Iraq · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'm guessing this is what it will take to finally get the neocons to support manned space exploration. After all, we'll need to fight the terrorists "over there" instead of "over here"!

  18. Re:$500 million? on Microsoft Plans $500 Million Chicago Data Center · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yes, but it doesn't include the construction costs.

  19. Minimum requirements on Microsoft Plans $500 Million Chicago Data Center · · Score: 1

    Microsoft's just upgrading its disk space so it has enough room to install the next version of its OS.

  20. False Positives on Database Finds Fugitive After 35 Years · · Score: 1

    I guess the real question is, since the program they were using apparently looks for things that are similar to known criminals, how many innocent people were fingered in the attempt to track down a 64-year old woman? I bet we'll never hear about them until long after we're gone...

  21. Re:Electrocution? on More Solar Panel Problems For ISS · · Score: 1

    Even better - route all the power from the solar array through the deflector dish! That way there won't be any power left to electrocute. It always worked on Star Trek...

  22. Gamers for president! on Today's Gamers, Tomorrow's Leaders? · · Score: 1

    My fellow Americans, people have come up to me and asked, "Why should you be president?" I'll tell you why -- I have a long history of leading this great nation to victory.

    In the beginning, the Megapolis of Grandiloville was just a power plant and a couple of power lines. But centuries later, its skyscrapers stretched as far as the eye could see! It was the jewel of Anystate. What? Ok, it was a simulated city, but it's basically like the real thing, right?

    Later, I enlisted in the Army and stormed Omaha Beach. I lost a lot of good friends that day. I probably would have bought the farm too if it weren't for all the first aid kits strewn about. And even though I lost good buddies, I could always count on finding more good buddies just around the next corner.

    Then, in Earth's final century, I will have lead the survivors to a planet circling Alpha Centauri, where they will rebuild civilization. Rudy Guiliani may have watched the towers come down, but has he witnessed the death of an entire planet? I think not!

    What? That hasn't happened yet? Well, of course not! You're just jealous because my experience is not limited to the past and present. You're not going to vote for me? Well, you'll wish you had when the Combine comes through an inter-dimensional portal and enslaves humanity.

  23. Re:Keeping things Web 1.0 on Citizendium After One Year · · Score: 3, Funny

    Just tell us who you are and where we can find you and we'll be right over with a crowbar!

  24. Re:Huckabee's answer on Call for a Presidential Debate on Science · · Score: 1

    Normally, I would be concerned by this factual error. However, given the current Republican's party's association with "facts", and the similarity of the candidates, I have to stick with my answer. I feel in my "gut" that Huckabee mentioned the lawyers, and silly things like "facts" can't change my convictions. In this we must be united, and your treasonous comments that Huckabee did NOT say this only emboldens the terrorists.

  25. The real question on First Fossil Evidence That Velociraptors Hunted in Packs · · Score: 0, Redundant

    The real question is, can they open doors?