in addition to my many current duties: slashdot troller, online serial author, open source hot young actress developer, wine drinker, cigarette smoker, bronchitis haver and alt.binaries.nospam.teenfem connoiseur, i have decided to dabble in the field of music promotion.
my first event will be a world premiere reunion of nirvana... with natalie portman replacing the life-challenged kurt cobain! this world broadcast will open with a stirring rendition of "smells like teen spirit" - natalie expresses her angst!
as a special treat for web surfers, a live simulcast on the internet will be arranged. using the new ismell technology, you will be able to actually smell teen spirit as you watch the show!
i'm gathering a list of volunteers to help with setting up this special event. currently, i need the following:
someone who knows david grohl someone who knows chris novoselic someone who knows natalie portman someone who knows what teen spirit smells like a professional music promoter
yep... once again the seti project misses the target. am i the only one who sees the problem here, my brothers? can this project ever "succeed" being run by people this clueless?
let's say you lived out in the woods in the deep south. you wake up one morning, nice and toasty warm in your red long-underwear. you decide you'd better go hunting today, if you're going to have dinner tonight. hmmmmm. rabbit sounds dang good!
what do you do? go grab your rifle and just tromple through the woods hoping to scare up some scraggly rabbit? of course not... you grab your rifle and your bloodhound and go tromple through the woods knowing your bloodhound will sniff out a nice fat meal!
"good god, open source man has finally lost his mind!" i can hear you gasp. well, when have i ever let you down?!
what the seti project needs is a bloodhound. it's ludicrous to just shove a bunch of software on some brain-dead intel driven computer and expect to sort out any kind of an intelligent signal. the seti project is trompling through the woods, without a keen nose to sniff out those crispy alien critters!
this is why i recommend that the seti project release a version of seti at home that runs on... get this... the aibo! yes, my brothers, our whacky friend, the aibo has come of age and is ready to mature into the sophisticated extraterrestial tracking device it has always been destined to become.
the aibo - he's not just for petrification any more!
i have taken richard stallman's, eric raymond's, larry wall's, tom christiansen's, jon katz's, roblimo's, hemos's, cmdr taco's, natalie portman's and drew barrymore's names in vain, along with several others i can't even remember.
i have lusted in my heart for hot young actresses.
i have encouraged masturbation and marital infidelity.
i have stolen nearly an infinite number of moderation points.
i have taken richard stallman's, eric raymond's, larry wall's, tom christiansen's, jon katz's, roblimo's, hemos's, cmdr taco's, natalie portman's and drew barrymore's names in vain, along with several others i can't even remember.
i have lusted in my heart for hot young actresses.
i have encouraged masturbation and marital infidelity.
i have stolen nearly an infinite number of moderation points.
gates was bashing programmers for being "thieves" when they circulated his little basic, way back when.
then he builds his empire and becomes the figurehead for closed systems.
now the "thieves" are making a comeback.
i don't really feel the force of microsoft's power any more. i haven't used windows in ages and i've actually grown sort of indifferent about them, since they don't really affect me much anymore.
it almost seems like gates is on his way to becoming just a glitch in the tradition of computing. the free exchange of ideas in the computing world seems to be the norm, actually... gates is sort-of like a temporary plague of locusts.
I think you should consider becoming a troll. trolling is a satisfying way of putting your creativity to work. as an added bonus, your goal when trolling is to be moderated down! you can't lose! it rules! it rules!
go to the troll forum for more information on how to sign up.
annaba, algeria, dr. christopher krustov, working in a hidden, underground laboratory, has presented the scientific community with shocking evidence which is sure to turn the world on its ear. dr. krustov, a world-renknowned geneticist, has found a genetic link between elvis presley and jesus christ.
"i always suspected a connection. it's rather quite obvious. jesus arose from the dead, elvis arose from the dead. people to this day report jesus sightings, people to this day report elvis sightings. jesus has millions of followers worldwide, elvis has millions of followers worldwide. jesus was the "king." elvis was the "king."
inspired by these keen observations, dr. krustov immersed himself in years of genetic research, his one goal to prove that elvis and jesus are, in fact, the same person!
"i was studying the shroud of turin and it suddenly dawned on me that there may be some significance to the crown of thorns. i managed to locate a patch of the same kind of thorns and gathered some for study. my tests showed that these thorns contain a chemical which has the effect of 'switching' genes!"
dr. krustov quickly compared genetic material harvested from a piece of elvis clothing with genetic material found on the shroud of turin.
"it turned out that the dna, with a few exceptions, was identical!"
the "few exceptions" turned out to be genes which had been "switched" by the poison thorns!
"this is a rather exciting time. after all of my study in genetics, i still find it amazing that just switching a few genes can turn a man who was a healer, prophet and 2000 years old into a fat, drug addicted rock star!"
infamous slashdot troller, open source man, announced today he is planning on suing natalie portman for copyright infringement. open source man claims he holds a valid copyright on "hot young actresses" in the united states.
open source man stated, "i have no problem with natalie portman being a hot young actress. in fact, she was the inspiration behind my copyrighted undistributable open source natalie portman and open source drew barrymore project. all i'm saying is, i want my just dues."
when asked precisely what he meant by "just dues", open source man nebulously responded, "i want my handsome rewards."
I don't know. The way I heard it, the Bible has undergone tons of revision. For example, during the days of the Roman Empire, I know several alterations were made to make the Bible more consistent. I think that's how the concept of the trinity came about.
Don't get me wrong. I think it's a valuable text, in the same way the Greek Myths are valuable. I also suspect Christ actually existed. Whether he was a divine being... I wouldn't know.
as for my karma, well, since that last post got moderated up, it's at -5 now. i'm hoping to get it high enough that i can keep using this account - since i've noticed "open source" imposters. i used this account before and it got temporarily banned. tee-hee!
1) Posts material disguised as relevant 2) Evokes massive flames from the community 3) The more attention he gets, the more he seems to post (to the point of posting about the attention he gets)
As a fellow troll, Jon, I'd like to point out that you should expect "please die" messages. I get them all the time. It's not good form to post a troll about responses to your trolls. If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen!
May I also make a suggestion: creative, amusing trolls are easier on the eyes than these long verbal defications.
As a troll, you should be more considerate of the rights of everyone else to flame, troll, or post legitimately. Not all of us have infinite karma.
I propose a karma tax. Where we skim percentages of karma off of the richest karma holders of slashdot and redistribute to the less wealthy. This will alleviate much frustration and curb the flames aimed at people like Jon Katz.
Come on, wasn't "sexy" Macintosh's idea to publicitise SCSI?
sounds right. i was under the impression that was the original pronunciation though and scsi came later when everyone had so much trouble figuring out how to terminate the bus and all. i was just kidding anyway.
Whether or not SCSI is better, it's not by much.
i disagree. having asynchronous disk access going, especially when you put your swap partition on a lru drive and all... i've had slower machines, in terms of cpu speed, memory, etc. outperform faster machines based on the scsi/eide difference... and it's a difference you can "feel."
The price of an adapter is quite high also. they are expensive. fortunately i didn't have to pay for either of my two 2940uws!
as i sit here drinking my glass of red wine (for my high cholesterol), smoking a cigarette (to replenish that coating of tar i lost when i had to abstain from smoking due to an earth-scorching case of bronchitis) and browsing alt.binaries.nospam.teenfem while waiting (forever) for the slashdot pages to load, i can't help but to make an observation here.
when trying to come to grips with a situation like this, one must always ask oneself, "what would natalie portman do in this situation." this couldn't be any more appropriate than in this situation. after all, hedy lamarr was a hot young actress once!
well, one thing i can assure you, natalie portman is not reading a slashdot story about the death of hedy lamarr. harsh, yes... but true. so, what would natalie portman be doing?
i can only answer this by thinking about what i would be doing if i was natalie portman. if i was natalie portman, i think i would be standing, naked, in front of the mirror. i would be touching myself sensually. i would explore the new curves budding on my chest. i would explore the firmness of my swelling buttocks. i would carefully explore that new (open) source of goodness thriving between my legs.
i guess what i'm trying to say is, shutdown your browser (don't worry, slashdot will load back up in an hour or so), go grab a barely 18 and go do some exploring in the bathroom.
that's what natalie would be doing and that's what i'm gonna do!
Slashdot Mirror
in addition to my many current duties: slashdot troller, online serial author, open source hot young actress developer, wine drinker, cigarette smoker, bronchitis haver and alt.binaries.nospam.teenfem connoiseur, i have decided to dabble in the field of music promotion.
my first event will be a world premiere reunion of nirvana... with natalie portman replacing the life-challenged kurt cobain! this world broadcast will open with a stirring rendition of "smells like teen spirit" - natalie expresses her angst!
as a special treat for web surfers, a live simulcast on the internet will be arranged. using the new ismell technology, you will be able to actually smell teen spirit as you watch the show!
i'm gathering a list of volunteers to help with setting up this special event. currently, i need the following:
someone who knows david grohl
someone who knows chris novoselic
someone who knows natalie portman
someone who knows what teen spirit smells like
a professional music promoter
thank you.
NATALIE PORTMAN!
yep... once again the seti project misses the target. am i the only one who sees the problem here, my brothers? can this project ever "succeed" being run by people this clueless?
let's say you lived out in the woods in the deep south. you wake up one morning, nice and toasty warm in your red long-underwear. you decide you'd better go hunting today, if you're going to have dinner tonight. hmmmmm. rabbit sounds dang good!
what do you do? go grab your rifle and just tromple through the woods hoping to scare up some scraggly rabbit? of course not... you grab your rifle and your bloodhound and go tromple through the woods knowing your bloodhound will sniff out a nice fat meal!
"good god, open source man has finally lost his mind!" i can hear you gasp. well, when have i ever let you down?!
what the seti project needs is a bloodhound. it's ludicrous to just shove a bunch of software on some brain-dead intel driven computer and expect to sort out any kind of an intelligent signal. the seti project is trompling through the woods, without a keen nose to sniff out those crispy alien critters!
this is why i recommend that the seti project release a version of seti at home that runs on... get this... the aibo! yes, my brothers, our whacky friend, the aibo has come of age and is ready to mature into the sophisticated extraterrestial tracking device it has always been destined to become.
the aibo - he's not just for petrification any more!
thank you.
this second one is the one i intended to post. the first got away from me before i was done editing.
sorry about the double-post... it was an accident!
i have taken richard stallman's, eric raymond's, larry wall's, tom christiansen's, jon katz's, roblimo's, hemos's, cmdr taco's, natalie portman's and drew barrymore's names in vain, along with several others i can't even remember.
i have lusted in my heart for hot young actresses.
i have encouraged masturbation and marital infidelity.
i have stolen nearly an infinite number of moderation points.
i have murdered legitimate discussions.
i have uttered countless untruths.
please slashdot, redeem my eternal karma!!!
wiping tear from cheek.
i have taken richard stallman's, eric raymond's, larry wall's, tom christiansen's, jon katz's, roblimo's, hemos's, cmdr taco's, natalie portman's and drew barrymore's names in vain, along with several others i can't even remember.
i have lusted in my heart for hot young actresses.
i have encouraged masturbation and marital infidelity.
i have stolen nearly an infinite number of moderation points.
i have murdered legitimate discussions.
i have uttered countless untruths.
please slashdot, redeem my karma!!!
wiping tear from cheek.
gates was bashing programmers for being "thieves" when they circulated his little basic, way back when.
then he builds his empire and becomes the figurehead for closed systems.
now the "thieves" are making a comeback.
i don't really feel the force of microsoft's power any more. i haven't used windows in ages and i've actually grown sort of indifferent about them, since they don't really affect me much anymore.
it almost seems like gates is on his way to becoming just a glitch in the tradition of computing. the free exchange of ideas in the computing world seems to be the norm, actually... gates is sort-of like a temporary plague of locusts.
I think you should consider becoming a troll. trolling is a satisfying way of putting your creativity to work. as an added bonus, your goal when trolling is to be moderated down! you can't lose! it rules! it rules!
go to the troll forum for more information on how to sign up.
thank you.
THE OPEN SOURCE DAILY NEWS
NEWS FLASH: GENETICIST LINKS ELVIS TO CHRIST!!
annaba, algeria, dr. christopher krustov, working in a hidden, underground laboratory, has presented the scientific community with shocking evidence which is sure to turn the world on its ear. dr. krustov, a world-renknowned geneticist, has found a genetic link between elvis presley and jesus christ.
"i always suspected a connection. it's rather quite obvious. jesus arose from the dead, elvis arose from the dead. people to this day report jesus sightings, people to this day report elvis sightings. jesus has millions of followers worldwide, elvis has millions of followers worldwide. jesus was the "king." elvis was the "king."
inspired by these keen observations, dr. krustov immersed himself in years of genetic research, his one goal to prove that elvis and jesus are, in fact, the same person!
"i was studying the shroud of turin and it suddenly dawned on me that there may be some significance to the crown of thorns. i managed to locate a patch of the same kind of thorns and gathered some for study. my tests showed that these thorns contain a chemical which has the effect of 'switching' genes!"
dr. krustov quickly compared genetic material harvested from a piece of elvis clothing with genetic material found on the shroud of turin.
"it turned out that the dna, with a few exceptions, was identical!"
the "few exceptions" turned out to be genes which had been "switched" by the poison thorns!
"this is a rather exciting time. after all of my study in genetics, i still find it amazing that just switching a few genes can turn a man who was a healer, prophet and 2000 years old into a fat, drug addicted rock star!"
thank you.
tee-hee!
NEWS-FLASH!!
infamous slashdot troller, open source man, announced today he is planning on suing natalie portman for copyright infringement. open source man claims he holds a valid copyright on "hot young actresses" in the united states.
open source man stated, "i have no problem with natalie portman being a hot young actress. in fact, she was the inspiration behind my copyrighted undistributable open source natalie portman and open source drew barrymore project. all i'm saying is, i want my just dues."
when asked precisely what he meant by "just dues", open source man nebulously responded, "i want my handsome rewards."
natalie portman was not available for comment.
jon katz flamed this post during editing.
thank you.
this troll's magic karma number (tm) is: -4!
I don't know. The way I heard it, the Bible has undergone tons of revision. For example, during the days of the Roman Empire, I know several alterations were made to make the Bible more consistent. I think that's how the concept of the trinity came about.
Don't get me wrong. I think it's a valuable text, in the same way the Greek Myths are valuable. I also suspect Christ actually existed. Whether he was a divine being... I wouldn't know.
thank you very much for the compliments!
as for my karma, well, since that last post got moderated up, it's at -5 now. i'm hoping to get it high enough that i can keep using this account - since i've noticed "open source" imposters. i used this account before and it got temporarily banned. tee-hee!
1) Posts material disguised as relevant
2) Evokes massive flames from the community
3) The more attention he gets, the more he seems to post (to the point of posting about the attention he gets)
As a fellow troll, Jon, I'd like to point out that you should expect "please die" messages. I get them all the time. It's not good form to post a troll about responses to your trolls. If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen!
May I also make a suggestion: creative, amusing trolls are easier on the eyes than these long verbal defications.
As a troll, you should be more considerate of the rights of everyone else to flame, troll, or post legitimately. Not all of us have infinite karma.
I propose a karma tax. Where we skim percentages of karma off of the richest karma holders of slashdot and redistribute to the less wealthy. This will alleviate much frustration and curb the flames aimed at people like Jon Katz.
thank you.
posting with -7 karma, for your viewing pleasure!
I had an alpha come through here the other day. I shoulda bought it... probably could have gotten away with it for $50.
Come on, wasn't "sexy" Macintosh's idea to publicitise SCSI?
sounds right. i was under the impression that was the original pronunciation though and scsi came later when everyone had so much trouble figuring out how to terminate the bus and all. i was just kidding anyway.
Whether or not SCSI is better, it's not by much.
i disagree. having asynchronous disk access going, especially when you put your swap partition on a lru drive and all... i've had slower machines, in terms of cpu speed, memory, etc. outperform faster machines based on the scsi/eide difference... and it's a difference you can "feel."
The price of an adapter is quite high also.
they are expensive. fortunately i didn't have to pay for either of my two 2940uws!
Let's just waste our IDE ports
mine are disabled and will stay that way!
and parallel owns j00.
parallel is a kludge.
... and i would be open to that if they could do something about that speed issue.
i build computers at work and see the widest imaginable array of hardware, and i still stand by scsi.
being the purist that i am, scsi still holds more appeal for me.
putting scanners on a parallel port? bah!
putting CDRs on parallel? bah!
i like having one damn bus for everything. a nice clean interface. no stupid driver problems.
scsi makes sense.
and i'm pronouncing that "sexy."
Totally!
is that really you, cm?
thanks!
that was a spine-chilling thought, brother.
as i sit here drinking my glass of red wine (for my high cholesterol), smoking a cigarette (to replenish that coating of tar i lost when i had to abstain from smoking due to an earth-scorching case of bronchitis) and browsing alt.binaries.nospam.teenfem while waiting (forever) for the slashdot pages to load, i can't help but to make an observation here.
when trying to come to grips with a situation like this, one must always ask oneself, "what would natalie portman do in this situation." this couldn't be any more appropriate than in this situation. after all, hedy lamarr was a hot young actress once!
well, one thing i can assure you, natalie portman is not reading a slashdot story about the death of hedy lamarr. harsh, yes... but true. so, what would natalie portman be doing?
i can only answer this by thinking about what i would be doing if i was natalie portman. if i was natalie portman, i think i would be standing, naked, in front of the mirror. i would be touching myself sensually. i would explore the new curves budding on my chest. i would explore the firmness of my swelling buttocks. i would carefully explore that new (open) source of goodness thriving between my legs.
i guess what i'm trying to say is, shutdown your browser (don't worry, slashdot will load back up in an hour or so), go grab a barely 18 and go do some exploring in the bathroom.
that's what natalie would be doing and that's what i'm gonna do!
thank you.
moron