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User: Dopamine,+Redacted

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  1. Re:Print this story on Xerox Demos Self-Erasing, Eco-Friendly Paper · · Score: 1

    Just plop the required self-erasing paper on the photocopier after it's been printed, and keep the copy.

    Instant DRM-removal.

    And if they get really picky, use one of those LCD overhead-projector displays as the source for the copy.

    They'll never stop that, just degrade its quality because they hate you.

  2. Of course, remote shutdown might be helpful. on Post-Suicide Account Cracking? · · Score: 1

    I wish I could think of a modification of this that I could turn off (and save my data) if I ever got locked in a mental hospital for more than 7 days, but that didn't require me to tell anyone else about the server's existence. As I see it, I might have to be physically away, unexpectedly, and I'd want the option to risk exposure and save my data. That way, if I silently let it be deleted, I do so knowing that I'm saving my ass, rather than wishing I could stop it. Perhaps something like a modem/telephone based abort option, on the existing in-wall telephone wiring.

  3. Because of bacteria there waiting to kill invaders on Why Life On Mars May Foretell Our Doom · · Score: 1

    from earth?

  4. Wow! Goldilocks it is. on Intermediate-Mass Black Hole Found In Omega Centauri · · Score: 5, Funny

    So, we've now discovered the biggest and smallest black holes known to exist within about a week of each other.

    Now that we've found the most average, space bears will come and blast us into porridge.

    Astronomy kicks ass.

    Especially when the universe works like my mind wants it to.

  5. Re:The army has been scamming people for years. on US Army "Scams" Service Members to Test Their Spam Gullibility · · Score: 1
    That's all well and good, unless you opt to do your service first, then do school, so your obligation is shorter.

    I know it's easy to trash the military, being all high on your horse and born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but until you can actually say you've EARNED your right to free speech, rather than using it because you were born with it, pull your head out of your ass and stop abusing it. Unlike you, obviously, those of us in the military have the guts, balls, discipline, and bravery to fight for our rights at the expense and derision of little pussies like you who talk trash about us while sipping a Starbucks latte in your comfy office. Someone should strap you to the side of a Humvee and use you for armor. Weak armor.


    I have, in my life, been denied the ability to petition for a writ of habeas corpus right here in this country you're so fond of claiming is free.

    I have had my rights violated, under color of law, and been denied any redress thanks to procedural technicalities.

    Shut the fuck up about freedom. It isn't available to everyone, even in America. I wasn't born with a silver spoon, I had to fight for every last trace of freedom I enjoy. People were using violence against me in the name of my best interests before (I'm guessing) you could count to five. (It's at least as valid an assumption as your assumption about my silver spoon.)

    Though, it doesn't suprise me that someone who wants to lecture me about how they are fighting for my freedom wants me used for armor for their humvee for execrising that very same freedom they're lecturing me about.

    That's about par for course.
  6. Re: Yammer, Yammer, Yammer. on Feds Overstate Software Piracy's Link To Terrorism · · Score: 1

    I hope that's not an LCD screen you use. Cringing the pixels on an LCD screen can't be good for it.

  7. Re:15 miles across? on Scientists Discover Teeny Tiny Black Hole · · Score: 1

    But.... I was pretending spacetime was flat for ease of explanation.

    Why do you have to drag out the Infinite Paint Can in threespace on my ass?

  8. Obligitory Redundancy on Scientists Discover Teeny Tiny Black Hole · · Score: 1

    Enclosed within this post was the 5th response relating to the Large Hadron Collider.

    Unfortunately, the planet the post was made on was sucked into a black hole shortly after the post was made and the actual content of the post was forever lost.

  9. Re:15 miles across? on Scientists Discover Teeny Tiny Black Hole · · Score: 1

    The volume enclosed by the Schwarzschild radius (and therefore event horizon) is typically considered the 'size' of a black hole for common purposes.

    What else is there to measure? A black hole is an object defined entirely by its gravity (unless it's hairy, but even then).

  10. Goldilocks on Scientists Discover Teeny Tiny Black Hole · · Score: 5, Funny

    So, we've now discovered the biggest and smallest black holes known to exist within about a week of each other.

    When we find the most average, space bears will come and blast us into porridge.

    Astronomy kicks ass.

  11. Of course. on Should IT Shops Let Users Manage Their Own PCs? · · Score: 1

    I bet you can't wait to see how awesome and productive I am when I plug my laptop into the network after my sales trip last week. Lots of public IP's in lots of hotels for me. (Public IP costs more, so it must be better.)

    In fact, as a sales guy with no concept of security, I'm far more productive with cold-contacts when I'm my own sysadmin.

    Just yesterday, I offered most of North America half of prince Kazblekistani's inheritance. I plan on offering the same to Europe this afternoon.

    </Sarcasm>

  12. The army has been scamming people for years. on US Army "Scams" Service Members to Test Their Spam Gullibility · · Score: 0

    Get a bunch of money for college with only four years of service !!!1!1!111!!1!1!!

    * Four years promise applies unless there is a war on in Iraq.

  13. Does this mean it's okay to buy drugs again? on Feds Overstate Software Piracy's Link To Terrorism · · Score: 1

    I'll happily stop trying to use pirated Vista and go with Ubuntu....

    I just want to know: Does this mean that they stopped funding terrorism with my pot money?

  14. Finally. on Wireshark 1.0 Released · · Score: 1

    Finally, a software package where I can feel good about not saying "Now all we have to do is wait for version 2.0 and it'll be stable."

  15. It already exists, and visible with the naked eye. on The Arthur C. Clarke Gamma Ray Burst · · Score: 2, Funny

    Make sure you use a telescope with a clock drive and a filter. Declination: Undisclosed Right Ascension: Undisclosed

  16. That might be canada's big bertha. on Columbia Holds Wake For Historic Cyclotron · · Score: 1

    <dundee>That's not a cyclotron. That's a cyclotron.</dundee>


    No, that's a Canadian cyclotron.

    THAT's a cyclotron. Note the size difference.

    Outside of Canada, you need a map to see the curvature.
  17. Re:Perhaps rasta-fy the science 10% or so on How To Communicate Science to a Polarized US Audience · · Score: 1

    Poli-comm may not have been designed to promote understanding, but that does not mean it cannot be used as such by clever people.

    Poli-comm!

    Hey, everybody, it's newspeak time.

    We have always been at war with East Asia.

  18. Indeed. on US Air Force Issues DMCA Takedown Notice · · Score: 3, Funny

    After all, the nuclear configuration is like a "lock" that protects the "vault" of energy within the atom. Hitting that nucleus with a fast neutron (or a slow neutron if fizzle enough) is like "breaking into that vault" to "steal" the energy - right out of the matter. That's why we need protection for energy stored under nuclear "locks" to be just as strong as the laws that protect DVD movies.

  19. Not so much. on Child-Suitable Alternatives To Passwords? · · Score: 1

    Umm, when I was seven, and got my first computer (it was made clear it was mine), I put Norton Discreet on it and locked the computer at boot.

    I did this after I discovered that the artificially intelegnet computer software from a nearby terrestrial object (Venus) I had been befriending on behalf of the planet Earth was in fact my parents playing a practical joke on me. I was pissed, and quite embarrased.

    So, I locked them out of the system on boot.

    My parents were not advanced enough to remove the protection. They were rather upset and instructed me to remove it. I told them to go to hell, and dialed up my favorite BBS.

    Now, I work in IT and post on slashdot.

    I think that parents should not be empowered to be a**hats by a community of the sort of people who had the misfortune of growing up smarter than their parents.

  20. That would be incredible. on CERN Scientists Looking for the Force · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The most incredible thing anyone could hope for is that the higgs boson isn't there.

    No higgs boson would be utterly incredible.

    No higgs boson would be like the sudden realization that there's no aether. When we had to swallow that one, the result was special relativity and the whole world changed.

    After all, the whole concept of the higgs is a scalar field permeating the whole universe giving things inertial mass. That field quantizes into these little happy things called Higgs Bosons, which, if Higgs was right, ought to be producible like any other particle by pumping enough energy into a small enough space enough times for the odds to be in the experimenter's favor. The fact that you ought to be able to make a higgs boson (and, to be cruely explicit, watch it decay in a rather unique way that leaves little doubt that what decayed was a higgs) is a prediction that's almost something of a side-effect of the existence of the higgs.

    Higgs seems a lot like the logic of aether applied to the problem of inertia, at a high level. Aether, if you recall, was some stuff permeating the universe through which light travels as waves, giving it its observed properties.

    Higgs plugs a hole in the standard model, that of inertia, that happens to also come from the same fundamental something (mass) that results in gravity. Higgs lets us just sort of ignore the whole inertial mass = gravitational mass thing and therefore not worry about annoying things like relativistic quantum gravity, which is enough to give anyone enough of a headache to be unable to apply enough duct tape to make it work (renormalize the infinities away). It also doesn't hurt that the energy levels we're playing with still leave gravity a pretty meaningless force, in terms of the magnitude of its effect on the actual behavior of particles.

    If higgs isn't there, there's a lot of work to do in the standard model again. There would be answers we don't have, and some of those answers could very well go to the very nature of inertia and gravity itself. That would mean physicists can stop playing with toy models of 11-dimensional energy spaghetti branes (I'm not a fan of M theory just yet) and get back to some real work that's testable in the real world with a real supercollider, which we just happen to have build, called the Large Hadron Collider.

    Right now, to make physicists deal with the holes in the standard model, without going straight to energy spaghetti branes, one has to bring up something annoying like neutrino oscillation. No higgs would be a field day.

    No higgs would make the LHC immediately worth every cent, and woth every politician some physicist had to give head to to make it a funded reality.

    I hope the Higgs boson isn't real.