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User: PolygamousRanchKid+

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  1. Re:Three different sources, three different units on Iceberg the Size of Delaware, Among Biggest Ever Recorded, Snaps Off Antarctica (marketwatch.com) · · Score: 1

    Well that's because it's obviously growing!

    No. It looks like it is growing slightly and slowly, but then reverses and shrinks.

    It's breathing! It's alive. It inhales fresh air . . . and exhales Greenedhouses Gases.

    This is why we need to kill it with Mechani-Kong as soon as he boots up!

  2. Re:Three different sources, three different units on Iceberg the Size of Delaware, Among Biggest Ever Recorded, Snaps Off Antarctica (marketwatch.com) · · Score: 1

    The Talking Head on the German news said "seven times the size of Berlin!"

    Hmmm . . . I wonder if there is a mathematical limit as to how many descriptions in relation to size to something else can exist. In other words, we could know its size in relation to something else, but we still have no idea how big it actually is . . .

  3. Re:Strawman defeated on Students Are Better Off Without a Laptop In the Classroom (scientificamerican.com) · · Score: 1

    Other than businesses wanting to sell more laptop computers or students wanting to surf the web during class, who ever claimed computer use during a lecture or seminar would enhance engagement with course content?

    I believe that Blackjack, code and hookers would enhance classroom learning. At least, I'll volunteer to try it out.

    In fact students would be better off leaving their laptops in the dorm during class

    In fact some students I knew would have been better off leaving themselves in the dorm during class.

  4. . . . and here I wackyparsed that title, as . . . on Plants Can Turn Caterpillars Into Cannibals To Avoid Getting Eaten (nationalgeographic.com.au) · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Plants Can Turn Caterpillars Into Cannabis To Avoid Getting Eaten!"

    . . . but, being that I'm watching a story on the news where folks who got caught tossing Molotov cocktails just got released because they have sympathizers in the Hamburg government . . . everything seems a wee bit surreal today.

  5. Re:Dies... on Windows Phone Dies Today (theverge.com) · · Score: 2

    does not mean what you think it means.

    Meanwhile, Darl McBride, the owner of the intellectual property rights to the Windows Phonery, has announced that the Windows Phone is "not quite dead yet", and "thinks he'll take the Windows Phone out for a walk."

    Owners of iPhones and Android phones will still be able to use their devices, provided they pay the Elusive Useless Litigation Acquiescence of $1,399 to cover the iPhone and Android infringement on the Windows Phone technology. McBride plans to use the influx of funds to finance yet even more litigation.

    However, rumors persist that the briefcase full of cash carried by Bill Gates' younger brother, Fredo, never made it to the Cayman Islands. John McAffee has publicly suggested that whole SCO operation, otherwise known as, "The Other, Other, Operation" was privately funded by Bill Gates through a Ho Chi Mihn Trail of Intelligent Africanized Bee Toilets, but McAffee was wiggin' on "Fringe" potency psychotropic drugs at the time.

  6. Re:Regressing on Facebook Envisions New Campus With Affordable Housing Units (sfgate.com) · · Score: 2

    You may hate Mr. Zuckerberg for all you want,

    I don't hate Mr. Zuckerberg; I'm just not interested in the product he sells . . . or, more astutely stated, I have no interest in becoming his product. He can sell all the used ball-bearing Rigid Fidget Digits he wants for all I care.

    but as a president he most likely would be 100 times or a 1000 times better for the USA, and the rest of the world.

    . . . and you are basing that metric on . . . whatever you happened to be vaping at the time of posting? I could imagine Mr Zuckerberg resurrecting the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC), since not using Facebook is an Un-American Activity. By not using Facebook a person is "evading essential state security surveillance", and must have something grimy underneath his fingernails . . . kinda sorta like "Criminal Drug Evasion" in THX-1138.

    After all he speaks more than one language

    For folks of limited intellectual faculties, learning a second language merely guarantees that they can say the same stupid things in Yet Another Language. A major systemic failure in US education policy was the misguided notion that sending *everyone* to college would make everyone smarter. What really happened was the adulteration of college degrees and an explosion of costs.

    and visited more countries than Mr. Trump.

    So I guess you'll be supporting Justin Bieber for President, since he has given concerts in even more countries that the Zuck has visited! The amazing thing about American folks like Zuckerberg, is that they can visit so many other countries in the world . . . and still not realize that not every country in the world is just like it is in the US.

    "We are here in Heidelberg, Germany! Where is the Applebees!? Where is the Applebees!? Kenneth, Kenneth . . . what is the frequency!?"

    Usually, at this time, the Joseph de Maistre retinue would manifest itself here, and state that with Mr. Trump, the Americans got the government that they deserve. However, your comments have convinced me that with Mr. Trump, the whole world has gotten the US government that it deserves.

    "The World is My Oyster!" -- William Shakespeare

    "The World is My Dumpster!" -- Donald Trump

    And for you family loving americans

    American? . . . Ain't that you?

    he actually has a family and not half a dozen divorces.

    Ah, yes . . . Charles Manson also has a family . . . so he would be your other choice for president, since "family values" seems to be your Shtick. Or maybe your beloved Kardashians . . . they are also very "family oriented".

    Unfortunately, the most horrific atrocities committed by humanity, against humanity had "family oriented" at their Hearts of Darkness. One of my personal favorites: Margot Honnecker, "the Wicked Witch of the East":

    Margot Honecker was widely known as the "Purple Witch" for her tinted hair and hardline Stalinist views, and was described as "the most hated person" in East Germany next to Stasi chief Erich Mielke by former Bundestag president Wolfgang Thierse. She was responsible for the enactment of the "Uniform Socialist Education System" in 1965 and mandatory military training in schools to prepare pupils for a future war with the west. She was alleged to have been responsible for the regime's forced adoption of children of jailed dissidents or people who attempted to desert from GDR, and she is considered to have "left a cruel legacy of separated families." She also established prison-like institutions for children, including a camp at Torgau known as "Margot's concentration camp."

    The fine Christian folks in Kansas bomb abortion clinics . . . to protect, "family values" . . . as do the bearded guys with rags on their heads who clamor on board intercontinental flig

  7. Re:What can we do with it? on 48-Year-Old Multics Operating System Resurrected (multicians.org) · · Score: 4, Funny

    Where did you read that the 360 was so slow it could only handle one user?

    This rumor originated in Dr. Gene Amdahl's lesser known history of the IBM mainframe titled, "The Apocryphal Man Mouth," which examined the contradictory cognitive dissonance of software project managers who think that they are running a development process, when, in fact, they are simply running their own mouths. The book is filled with the taller tales of the seminal computer industry, like the instance of Professor Forman Acton of referring to the inventors of that new-fangled language, collectively as, "The FORTRAN Boys."

    Apparently, a disgruntled IBM customer complained about about the one user design limitation of OS/360, and asked the IBM sales rep when an upgrade to more than one user would be available. The IBM sales rep pulled out a little plastic case containing resistors, uttered some bizarre incantation like, "Bad Booze Rots Our Young Girls But Vodka Goes Well", and enumerated the prices of the resistors, and how many users each one would support. One cold solder joint later, and the IBM customer was a happy camper.

    There was also something in there about Oliver North nearly starting World War Three, because he was forced to use IBM's OrifaceVision/2, which was like their PROFS Professional Office System for mainframes, but it was much more secure, because it was based on OS/2, which meant it never ran or was used at all, and you can't get any more secure than something that just doesn't work . . .

    . . . oh, and speaking about IBM SAA AD/Cycle, don't mention that, unless you say "Mary Hartman! Mary Hartman" three times to a mirror, and conclude it with that Islamic curling Eight-ender cry, "Allah Hu Almaraq!", ("God is Gravy!"),

    . . . and . . .

  8. Re:Regressing on Facebook Envisions New Campus With Affordable Housing Units (sfgate.com) · · Score: 1

    You'll be paid in FacebookCredits,

    . . . which will be known among financial folks as simply: "Zucks."

    Yeah, it's the old company town, revisited, but The Hypno- Zuck will live there himself, and he just absolutely loves you, and the rest of humanity, as well (promiscuous, indeed), which is why he will be elected the next president, since all that love that the Zuck's been "spreading" around has not gone unnoticed, so living with the Zuck in his factory facetown will be like everyone's dreams come true, living in Calabasas with Justin Bieber . . .

    Vanity currency names didn't work out very well for Charles Bedaux, either . . .

  9. Re:Air Gap on Hackers Targeting US Nuclear Power Plants, Report Finds (cnet.com) · · Score: 1

    Are the control systems at plants not isolated from the outside world?

    Air Heads trump Air Gaps . . . the biggest threat to your computer system security is mechanical: "The loose nut behind the keyboard."

    If not, why not?

    Nothing can be made foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.

    It seems obvious that they should be.

    "Well, I don't think there is any question about it. It can only be attributable to human error. This sort of thing has cropped up before, and it has always been due to human error."

  10. Re:Who's up for Vodka? on Hackers Targeting US Nuclear Power Plants, Report Finds (cnet.com) · · Score: 1

    Who wants Vodka?

    . . . and then the CIA guy answers, "Don't bother pouring a separate glass for me . . . I'll just take drinks out of the glasses of every one else . . . "

  11. Re:All those Americans who want to leave can now g on Canada's Play For Immigrant Tech Talent (axios.com) · · Score: 3, Informative

    Great opportunity for all those Americans who want to get away from the current government to leave. Of course, they have to have a useful skill.

    There is only one skill you will ever need to get any job anywhere in the world that you want:

    You need the skill to be willing to work for less than anyone else who wants the job.

    It's just like the two guys getting chased by a bear . . . you don't need to run faster than the bear . . . just faster than the other guy.

    High Tech "bosses" lie like rugs when they claim that they want to attract high skill folks. All that they really want are cheaper "human" resources.

    I say we haul those execs up in front of a Congressional investigative committee, and ask them, Big Tobacco Style, if they truly believe that cigarettes are healthy and non-addictive. In this case, ask them if they need to attract the best talent, or if they are just "bottom fishing"; trying to see have far they can push down IT wages.

  12. Re:It's not the bikes... on Hanoi Plan To Ban Motorbikes By 2030 To Combat Pollution (bbc.com) · · Score: 1

    Two strokes run rich throw raw, unburned fuel out the exhaust.

    . . . would adding afterburners help . . . ? It sure would look cool at night.

    That combines with the oil burning to give them their distinctive smell.

    Ah, that smell! Smelled like . . .

    Unburned HCs are the single worst automotive emission.

    victory. Someday this emmision's gonna end...

  13. Re:So Make Hydrogen on California Has So Much Solar Power That Other States Are Paid To Take It (mic.com) · · Score: 4, Funny

    Do we really need to do anything really useful with it, at all? I mean, the article states that the problem is that all this "hot" energy will overheat the grid, so it just needs to get off the grid . . . what we do with it, is just for shits and giggles anyway.

    Which is why I would like to just plain dump the energy into the world's largest Californian Tesla Coil! It will be a great tourist attraction on humid nights: pulsating insect-zapping plasma tracers lighting up the skies . . . and the Little Fluffy Clouds . . .

  14. We live in the over-packaged world - everything that is sold and used comes with packaging that often eclipses the amount of material (and labor) for the product itself. This problem will not solve itself, unfortunately.

    Edible Packaging! It solves World Hunger, too!

    If the material for the Edible Packaging is sourced from a Soylent Green factory, then we've solved the Overpopulation Problem, as well.

  15. Re:UW study contradicts... on Seattle's $15 Minimum Wage May Be Hurting Workers, Report Finds (usatoday.com) · · Score: 1

    The University of Washington study comes to a very different conclusion than a UC Berkeley report.

    So the CEO of a company needs a new CFO and has narrowed his choice down to three candidates: An Engineer, A Mathematician and an Economist. So the CEO asks the Engineer, "What's one plus one . . . ?"

    The Engineer types that in his smartphone and shows it to the CEO, "There! One plus one is two!" So the CEO asks the Mathematician, "What's one plus one . . . ?"

    The Mathematician scribbles something on the wall and shows the CEO, "There! I have proved that one plus one is two!" So the CEO asks the Economist, "What is one plus one . . . ?"

    The Economist leans forward and whispers to the CEO, "How much do you want it to be . . . "

    I think there is a South African version of this joke where the Economist is named "Van der Merwe".

    Kurt Gödel also postulated, for a given finite set of mathematical rules and a finite set of data . . . there is an infinite set of mutually contradictory correct conclusions can be calculated as answers to the same questions.

    Apparently, in private, Gödel chuckled about this when describing the behavior of competing academic camps of thoughts. He once said, "You know . . . it is normal for those of us in these academic groups to vehemently disagree with each other. In the Science of Mathemetics, the tempers run so high, because the stakes are so small. Imagine creating a theory that not only contradicted the work of others . . . but implied by its very definition that the work of others could even exist in the first place . . . ?"

    How a Rising Minimum Wage Affects Jobs in Seattle https://www.nytimes.com/2017/0...

    Oh, I see . . . you're posting pay-walled links because you get a "piece of the action" from the New York Times.

    "What's the Turk paying you to set up my father, Captain?"

  16. Re:Sounds great... on Social Media Giants Step Up Joint Fight Against Extremist Content (reuters.com) · · Score: 5, Funny

    As long as they have a good definition of terrorist.

    By today's definitions, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, George Washington and Alexander Hamilton were terrorists because of their thoughts and activities in The Thirteen Colonies.

    Alexander Hamilton was extra-terrorist-ty, because he wouldn't stop singing all the time.

  17. "Well-Known" Hackers, that is . . . on Why So Many Top Hackers Come From Russia (krebsonsecurity.com) · · Score: 1

    So the title should have read:

    Why So Many Well-Known Top Hackers Come From Russia

    Really good hackers don't get caught, and don't even leave a clue that they were there at all.

    The really interesting top technical hackers . . . well, we haven't heard of them yet, and probably never will, if they are that good.

    Wherever they are . . . or, better said, "are not" . . .

  18. Re:I'm all for privacy and all that... on Does US Have Right To Data On Overseas Servers? We're About To Find Out (arstechnica.com) · · Score: 1

    ...but it seems rather reasonable that if a court of law orders you to submit something, the fact that you had stored in another country shouldn't be much of an excuse for not doing so.

    Oh, well that's a grand idea. So I guess it's ok if a foreign court of law rules that it is ok to hack your elections, huh? The problem is that a while back folks in the entire world looked up to and respected the US legal system. And the governments of US were reciprocal in respecting the laws of other countries.

    That legal system in the US is no more, gone to meet its maker, toast, pining for the fjord, stunned and resting. The governments and their puppet courts in the US no longer respect the laws of its Constitution protecting its own citizens, and certainly don't give a rat's ass about the "rights" of any other human beings on the planet.

    If you take a look at Islamic Hellholes on this planet, when a leader with megalomaniac intentions gets in control, he first Shanghai's the judicial system stacks it with kangaroo cronies and uses that to whack-a-mole the opposition into oblivion. In the US now, the government uses the fear of terrorism to arbitrarily snoop into the underwear drawers of every living being on the planet for "shits and giggles."

    To put it bluntly . . . the US has tossed away the "trust" that it built up over a long period of time with the rest of the world. If the US is now trying to get this spying "legally" approved by the Supreme Court, which isn't a court of law any more, put a political arm of the government, you can be sure a shit that they are spying illegally on this data.

    Foreign government officials will tell you privately that it is ok for them to store data on servers that are even remotely related to a US entity. However, they consider any data stored there as "compromised", and therefore, justly don't store anything important there.

  19. Re:Beware of strangers bearing buzzwords. on Should Your Company Switch To Microservices? (cio.com) · · Score: 1

    What cool new technology! We should use it!

    Questions are no longer necessary in the post-paradigm innovative DeadOps things connected to other things world.

    You just proceed directly to the answer.

    It is best to combine microservices with fuzzing technologies, so when folks ask you what you are working on, you can say with straight face:

    "Micro-Fuzzing!"

  20. Re:"I'm off to the pub." on UK Parliament Emails Closed After 'Sustained And Determined' Cyber-Attack (theguardian.com) · · Score: 0

    Why is it too bad?

    It's too bad if you are a EU citizen living in the UK . . . or a UK subject (the UK doesn't have citizens; it's not written into the constitution that they don't have).

    Should he not be compensated for the work he did, and not get to spend it the way he wants?

    The current government of the UK hasn't really done any work on planning for the Brexit, while the clock is already ticking on the exit date. The negotiations with the rest of the onery EU members will be about as easy as negotiating The Treaty of Ghent (look it up, if you don't know what that means).

    The EU tabled an offer to grant all UK citizens living in other EU countries permanent rights to live, work and receive social benefits. The UK countered that offer, and tabled up . . . jack shit. You can read all about it in The Economist; it isn't even pay-walled. To put this in a way that US oriented folks can understand, it would be like telling foreign folks in the US with green cards . . . that, oh, sorry, your "permanent" green cards will expire in a year. Since it looks like the UK is going to screw over the EU citizens, the EU, in their fine gentlemanly way, will respond by screwing over the UK citizens abroad.

    I happen to know a few IT British expats, and this is all a very serious matter for them. Imagine sitting down with your manager, who tells you he is more than satisfied with your work, but doesn't know if he will legally be able continue employing you when the Brexit hits the fan.

    In this situation, I would expect the government to be working days, nights and weekends to "get that puppy project shipped". But their government is currently being led by a Schrödingeresque creature that is both a "daft twat" and a "right cunt" at the same time.

    Maybe she should just toss some more housing project subjects onto the barby . . . that might help.

    . . . or maybe not.

    At any rate, I already know what "The Economist" thinks about the current situation, and so I am anxiously awaiting my new copy of "Viz". To really understand the UK, you need to read both to get full coverage from the high brow musings down to the "A Pint and a Fight, a Great British Night!" knocked off a bar stool with a pool cue gut reactions.

    Saying, "oh, email hackers, I'm off to the pub" is pretty sad to hear from a British MP. I mean, it's not America, is it . . . ?

  21. I don't have any idea what they're saying, and I'm pretty sure they don't actually understand me, but they do actually vocalize back to you. I'm not sure if I can call it talking, but they do make noises back.

    Yep, that pretty much sums it up for the situation at my post-cubicle e-workplace innovative paradigm disruption customer client design center where I am supposed to actually "work" . . .

    "surrounded by dogs, cats, sheep, horses, cows, goats, and chickens,"

    . . . indeed . . . but we collectively call them "management" . . .

  22. Re:The hotel chain I worked for... on IT Services Company Wipro Forces 600 Employees To Work In Bed Bug Infested Office (11alive.com) · · Score: 2

    The best/fastest way to get rid of bedbugs is with heat. Get the heat up to 140F (60C) for eight hours. One way to do this is to pack loose bedding and cushions in a car parked in the sun with the windows closed.

    Or, being that they are located in Georgia, just turn off the air conditioning.

    Or, lock the employees in cars parked in the sun with the windows closed.

  23. Re:What? Why?! on BBC Technical Glitch Leaves TV Presenter In Silence (theguardian.com) · · Score: 0

    why would anyone in this ADHD age want to watch a man sitting at a desk, doing nothing, and saying nothing, for FOUR MINUTES?

    This would have been the appropriate background music:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

  24. Re:Both Lucas and Disney fucked it up: on Star Wars' Han Solo Spinoff Directors Quit In the Middle of Shooting (theverge.com) · · Score: 2

    What is my point with all this? That it is really time for people to band together on creating non-commercially owned replacements for these universes.

    . . . that's what String Theory is all about . . .

  25. Re:Too bad sizing isn't standarized. on Amazon Will Now Let You Try On Clothes Before You Buy Them (theverge.com) · · Score: 1

    The big problem is the lack of standardization in clothing sizes.

    Female voice: What's wrong?
    Man on monitor: I just bought one of these yesterday, and it doesn't fit my consumer, and the store doesn't have any of the other kind.
    Male voice: For more enjoyment and greater efficiency, consumption is being standardized. We are sorry...
    Man on monitor: This is -
    [cut off]

    I'm thinking that Bezos' s00p3r s3krit plan is to get us hooked on buying Amazon Clothes, and then gradually reduce the selection until we are all stuck wearing Mao suits.