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User: simetra

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  1. Re:Great book on Linux for the Rest of Us · · Score: 1

    But first, sell them a support contract!

  2. Don't listen to me! on Family Tech Support · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mom: Why is my computer so slow?

    Me, looking at the dozen icons in the systray: Because you've got all that crap running.

    Mom: I need that.

    Me: Okay, suit yourself.

    A week goes by

    Mom: I bought this printer and it doesn't work, I get this exception error whenever I plug it in.

    Me: That's probably because of all the crap you have running.

    Mom: Why doesn't this work!!!!

    ===== A not-far-from-reality dramatization follows =====

    Mom: Godddamn it!!!! Why doesn't my computer work! You like to play with computers!!!!! Fix it, damn it!!!!

    Me: Look, I told you not to install and run all that crap, but you do anyway!!!!

    Mom: But I need it!!!!!!

    Me: No, you don't!!!!!

    Mom: I do too! I think I know a LOT more about computers that you do, mister!!!!

    Me: Then what are you calling me for?!

    Mom: Because I can! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

  3. VC Firm? on Microsoft Writes Off Corel · · Score: 1

    Viet Cong?

    Huh?

  4. Uh.... on Microsoft to End DLL Confusion · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Wasn't that the point of the Registry?

  5. Excellent! on Is Microsoft Hoisting Its Own Copyright Petard? · · Score: 0

    Good stuff, thanks for the tip!

  6. Bad Aim: An old literary tool. on Battlestar Galactica to Return · · Score: 1

    The Cylons are obviously related to the indians in Mark Twain's "Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offences." I encourage any fans of literature, or the cinema, to read this. Yes, way back then, the bad guys were notoriously bad aims.

    Here's a link I found to some sort of essay about this: http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~jparsons/twain/cooper 1.html.
    This work of Twain's is found in many Twain anthologies and other collections.

  7. Re:special effects on Battlestar Galactica to Return · · Score: 1

    One of my strongest memories of Battlestar Gallactica is that they used the same special effects clips all the time. In particular, there's one shooting sequence from the good-guy's shooter perspective, where he shoots about a dozen times in an arcing pattern, finally hitting and blowing up the bad guy. They used that one all the time. Ahhh, memories.

  8. Re:Updated PS/2 mouse support... on XFree86 4.3.0 Released · · Score: 1

    I've got Slackware and Win2000 sharing a KVM, never had any problem at all, using 1 mouse. Make sure you're not running gpm, it seems to always cause mouse trouble.

  9. RH doesn't track your media, for 1 on Examining Microsoft Update · · Score: 1

    Check out the update re: media player. MS has the ability to track all media played on Media Player. So, a record of all your porn could be stored in Redmond, along with your IP address, date/time, etc. They might not get your name, but it wouldn't be that hard to track you down. How long until the government subpoenas MS for porn records? What happens if you happen to watch a porno mpg that contains, unbeknownst to you, a 17 year old? Hmmm......

  10. AND YET NO LOTR CATEGORY!!!!! on Automatic Wireless Network Organisation · · Score: 1

    This is insane. We need a LOTR category already. Puhleez!

  11. Re:Extreme Leak Protection on New Dual System PC · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Perhaps they ought to put all the stuff in (i.e., RAM, cards, cables, then dip the thing in that protector stuff.

  12. Re:I would like my macro virus.... on Digital Restrictions Management in Office 11 · · Score: 1

    Offtopic?

    Okay, for the moron who moderated this, maybe this will clear it up. This type of thing is going to open a big can of worms (no pun intended). Here's an imagined dialog box: "Microsoft DRM has determined that you've been permitted to open this document and launch the macro virus embeded in it. Microsoft DRM has determined that you have launched a macro virus and no longer have rights to any file on your computer and will be locked out. Your social security number and other vital information has been emailed to the FBI."

  13. I would like my macro virus.... on Digital Restrictions Management in Office 11 · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    To only hose up people named Ted. Everyone else is okay.

  14. Dork Factor on Buy a Segway... Please · · Score: 2, Funny

    Perhaps they realized that all the goo-goo gaa-gaa that they generated at launch still doesn't overcome the dork factor; that people riding these look like dorks who are trying to hold in a massive bowel movement, while at the same time, thinking "Look at me! Look at me!"

  15. Agreed. on Dave Barry Answers Alert Slashdot Readers' Questions · · Score: -1, Troll

    I think I tried reading one of his columns several years ago, fell asleep, and never tried again. You have to realize that to apeal to the masses requires lowering oneself to the lowest common denominator. It's quite possible that Dave Berry is actually brilliant, a comic genius, etc, but that's not what America wants.

    Likewise, look at the comic strips, aka Funnies, in the Sunday paper. Family Circus, Garfield, Beetle Baily, funny?

    Also, what's up with B.C.? This clown is always blathering about Jesus. If Jesus is there, I don't think it should be B.C. That makes no sense. It should be A.D., or at least D.C, "During Christ". Dave Berry better not steal this for his column!!!!

  16. Translation Skins on Opera Releases "Bork" Edition · · Score: 2, Interesting

    This would be cool, having translation skins, kind of like the look-n-feel skins. Sure, it would be useful say if you wanted to automatically translate whatever language you're viewing into your own language. But then you would have the ability to use fun language skins, like the Bork, or the Miguel Web Filter found at fatchicksinpartyhats.com

  17. Here's a Screenshot on Opera Releases "Bork" Edition · · Score: 2, Informative
  18. Re:So? on Oscar Nominations (LotR, Spirited Away, and more) · · Score: 1

    0.1% x going to the movie dozens of times, yes.

  19. So? on Oscar Nominations (LotR, Spirited Away, and more) · · Score: 0, Insightful

    I missed the part of the Constitution that says everything has to be fair. It's an event of the industry, by the industry, for the industry. Suck up and deal.

    The reason why Chicago will beat Twin Towers is that it's made to appeal to real people, not the 0.1% who wank over imaginary critters.

  20. Here in BFE..... on California Considering More Internet Taxes · · Score: 1

    The main incentive to buy online is that the prices are so much better, even after adding shipping/handling. Even though we have no sales tax here. Plus, the retard local business owners here, generally speaking, are lazy, and not at all clued-in to the customer service idea.

    The 1 thing that makes me buy locally vs internet is speed. If I need something right away, I'll drive to the store and get it. If it can wait, I'll get it online.

  21. Major User Problem on Why Users Hate IT Products and Developers · · Score: 2, Insightful

    The main problem I see with typical end users is that they don't realize that the computer is a tool they are required to use to do their job. They are extremely reluctant to learn anything. The funny thing is, when they interview for jobs, they say "Oh, yes, I love computers, I have one at home, it's great." Then when they get on the job and don't want to make an effort, they call support and laugh, saying "heh, I'm computer-illiterate".

    Would you go to a mechanic who held up a wrench and said "heh, I'm wrench-dumb, these crazy things." ????

    Users need to understand that they CAN read the screen and actually THINK about what it says before panicking and calling support. They need to realize that they must know how to use the tools that are required for their jobs. Or, they need to find another job.

  22. Another cure on Hic Hic Hooray: Hiccups Explained · · Score: 1

    I've found that forcing myself to vomit usually cures hiccups.

  23. Try Iraq. on Carmack Needs Rocket Fuel · · Score: 3, Funny

    I hear they help people find good chemicals. Heh.

  24. Ok, I'll bite. on Opera 7.0 Security Holes ... Fixed · · Score: 1

    I just fired up IE to about:blank, typed in www.slashdot.org, and it took it 7 seconds to load.

    I did the exact same thing in Opera, and it took 3 seconds. Sure, it's not scientific, but it's very typical of the response times I see using the two browsers. And yes, I do use both because there are a number of asstards out there who make their sites IE only, and I must view them for work.

    As for an example, I have a minor css thing on http://www.mzla.com/bible that doesn't appear at all in IE (highlighted text). I've seen plenty other examples, but am too lazy to find them now. The things I listed are well worth the money, in my book. If you don't find them worth the money, don't buy it, don't use it. It's your choice.

  25. Here's a Tip on Opera 7.0 Security Holes ... Fixed · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You shouldn't put any browser on a Critical Computer.