20 FBI Special Agents dedicated to fighting domestic and international IP crimes.
So does that mean the FBI is going to be investigating US Citizens for IP of international origin, or somehow extending their Jurisdiction beyond the states?
Everyone knows the biggest file sharers in the world are Canadian.
Let this be a lesson to all you would-be "in-the-know"ers out there. Tin foil hats do not cut it anymore. As soon as that became public knowledge, they started putting carbon-nano-fiber-tube-microphones inside any and all newly manufactured tin foil. Here is what you have to do:
Step 1: Throw away your cell phone. That thing is useless.
Step 2: Steal a friend's cell phone. Put tape over any cameras, and take out the battery, and for good measure, disassemble the audio input.
Step 3: Grab a Pickaxe if you have one, but if not, don't sweat it. Don't go out and buy one, that will only leave a trail for them to find you.
Step 4: Start driving to the mountains. Your newly acquired cell phone will let you know once you are out of the 3G network, secretly known as the Government Geological Guidance network. They will think it is your friend visitting the mountains. Only then will you know that they cannot track you.
Step 5: If you don't have a pickaxe, fashion one out of stone and wood. Start mining. Keep going until you get a rather large amount of Nickel. You can go into town to eat and make shipments of nickel. You'll need about 1.6 KG if you're about 6 feet tall.
Step 6: Go and take your nickel to the local blacksmith. He can be trusted, he didn't upgrade like the rest of the world. Have him help you smelt the Nickel. Submerge yourself in liquid Nickel in order to create a faraday cage around yourself.
And there you go, they won't be able to track you anymore.
Please stand over there up against and facing the wall with your hands on the back of your head. Our Lawyers will make every effort to make this as timely and efficient as possible.
Realistically, there isn't a country in the world that America is politically ready to bomb back to the stone ages. We just like having this stuff because it makes us feel better
Well now, there's a whole lot of ways to attack people. Nukes are nasty because they destroy everything in sight and leave it inhabitable for a little while. Chemical weapons are usually more desirable because all the infrastructure is left in place and you can clean it up with specialized teams. Conventional weapons allow you to get the thoroughness of destroying a building without the downsides of destroying a whole city.
Politically, there are a few countries the US would love to clear out and Annex. It's just the rest of the world thats keeping them from doing so.
Yeah, I would place him as a mail-room clerk until he proves he can handle sensative information without releasing it to the public.
You know, we get the occaisonal user who manages to get a trojan or a worm on their computer at work. When we get the request ticket in, first thing we do is remotely check their Browser history and cache. Generally it boils down to a Russian or Korean website that was visitted. In some cases, it gets referred to by a rollover ad on a legitamit web page, so we don't punish them, but there are other times when you see them visitting some chinese news blogs about a hundred times a week. In this even, we walk over, unplug everything, and take the tower away, telling them we need to clean it ASAP and we don't want to risk spreading the infection. You or I would know this is highly unlikely, I've never encountered malware that has spread to a network drive, but I wouldn't put it past black hats to do such a thing if they wanted. Then we spend the next day or two cleaning the machine. Yeah, it usually only takes a few hours, slave it on our AV machine. But the idea is to teach them a lesson about visitting those websites. After they've been without their computer for a couple days, we tell them where they got the virus from, and warn them not to visit those sites.
It appears to be working.
The only other situation of security we've really come across was some guy in another department who clearly knew a bit about computers. He managed to tunnel into his own VPN to get past our firewall to run bittorrent and download movies, which he burned onto disc and was selling them apparently. When the IT manager, (My Boss) found out he went into quite a fit, launched a full IT investigation of the whole building, and in the end, so many people in that department were found to be visitting sites they shouldn't be, that half the department was canned.
I think it was a little overboard, but I guess the message was very clearly sent and recieved, that building has had no problems ever since.
Why would this be an issue? It's not like you or I can download it and experience it, we have to go and visit the archive to see it.
Having an emulation of the computer just helps preserve the original, while only 1 copy of the OS/App/Media is active at all.
This is how VMWare can justify Virtualization. You can use 1 license for everything, and have multiple copies of the machine available, but only 1 running.
None of the computers I deal with cause problems for me.
The Contractor who decides to reboot a server without informing us does. The user who deletes a file they needed. The Field tech who dropped his laptop in the mud. When the marketting team needs to send out 500 emails at once and the firewall stops it. Or when the seasonal temp sets up bitTorrent to download movies.
99% of the issues I've had to solve in the last year have not been because of computers themselves, but some of the ridiculous things people think they can just get away with. Albeit, it's not all their fault, (like marketting or the field tech), but that doesn't make it the computer's either.
He's going to be in Calgary, Alberta, (Canada) this weekend for our Comics & Entertainment Expo. There is a small town (maybe population 300) about half an hour outside of town called "Vulcan" - so of course he swung through there and all the daily papers made the pun about how Spock was in Vulcan. Anyways, back to the issue.
I told my girlfriend I'd take her to the mountains tomorrow. And I told my room mate we'd go snowboarding on Sunday, before the season ends, and seeing how I backed out on our plans to go last weekend, there's a bit of an obligation. I've never seen Leonard Nimoy before besides the Star Trek Series (despite his numerous trips around the globe for these kinds of events) - so it'd be nice to check it out before he puts in the towel.
So now I'm faced with a Dilemma. If I back out on my wingman, he'll likely get pissed, which could translate into a cruel prank at the house. Or do I put myself in the doghouse with the girlfriend, ditching out on our romantic trip for a geek fest? I know what you guys are going to say, bring both of them to the Expo and I'm sure they'll have fun. I'm not so sure they would enjoy it as much as the other plans we've made.
I think I have a worthy submission for Ask Slashdot.
Whats it called again? The one with Nicholas Cage and John Travolta... Where they like, take the guys face off, and then his face is off, so then they take the other guys face off, and put it on the other guys face. And then the guy without a face is really put off by it, so he gets the doctor to take the first offed face and put it back on him. So their faces are swapped. And then they have an epic face off with a climactic finish.
God I wish I could just remember the name of that movie...
I guarantee you that any competant IT department would not only be fully aware of what was going on, but also smart enough not to stir a pot that big.
If I came in tomorrow and the entire sales team was found to be mass downloading pron, what could we do? Get the entire team fired? Who is going to pick up the slack from that? Can't just replace people just like that. We could filter their content, but how long before that becomes a headache when they can't reach legit sites. We can throttle them but then there are complaints that they can't get any work done while they are chewing through bandwidth on a bit-torrent.
IT's job is to make sure that everyone is up and running. Its the managers job to make sure that people are doing their work. When people start treating IT like a police force, then something is seriously wrong, and you need to look at the power structure and layout of your company. We can be eyes and ears, we can inform managers, but its definately NOT our job to go and get people fired.
And where is it going to be so that other people will see it?
I'd gladly sell my back for some Tattoo Adspace because I rarely go shirtless, however, whoever is purchasing from me would probably want some stipulation like it must be visible in public.
Slashdot Mirror
20 FBI Special Agents dedicated to fighting domestic and international IP crimes.
So does that mean the FBI is going to be investigating US Citizens for IP of international origin, or somehow extending their Jurisdiction beyond the states?
Everyone knows the biggest file sharers in the world are Canadian.
They tried to pull a Star Trek, thats all.
Let this be a lesson to all you would-be "in-the-know"ers out there. Tin foil hats do not cut it anymore. As soon as that became public knowledge, they started putting carbon-nano-fiber-tube-microphones inside any and all newly manufactured tin foil. Here is what you have to do:
Step 1: Throw away your cell phone. That thing is useless.
Step 2: Steal a friend's cell phone. Put tape over any cameras, and take out the battery, and for good measure, disassemble the audio input.
Step 3: Grab a Pickaxe if you have one, but if not, don't sweat it. Don't go out and buy one, that will only leave a trail for them to find you.
Step 4: Start driving to the mountains. Your newly acquired cell phone will let you know once you are out of the 3G network, secretly known as the Government Geological Guidance network. They will think it is your friend visitting the mountains. Only then will you know that they cannot track you.
Step 5: If you don't have a pickaxe, fashion one out of stone and wood. Start mining. Keep going until you get a rather large amount of Nickel. You can go into town to eat and make shipments of nickel. You'll need about 1.6 KG if you're about 6 feet tall.
Step 6: Go and take your nickel to the local blacksmith. He can be trusted, he didn't upgrade like the rest of the world. Have him help you smelt the Nickel. Submerge yourself in liquid Nickel in order to create a faraday cage around yourself.
And there you go, they won't be able to track you anymore.
Please stand over there up against and facing the wall with your hands on the back of your head. Our Lawyers will make every effort to make this as timely and efficient as possible.
True, but how many countries would you say has a military of reasonable capability?
Realistically, there isn't a country in the world that America is politically ready to bomb back to the stone ages. We just like having this stuff because it makes us feel better
Well now, there's a whole lot of ways to attack people. Nukes are nasty because they destroy everything in sight and leave it inhabitable for a little while. Chemical weapons are usually more desirable because all the infrastructure is left in place and you can clean it up with specialized teams. Conventional weapons allow you to get the thoroughness of destroying a building without the downsides of destroying a whole city.
Politically, there are a few countries the US would love to clear out and Annex. It's just the rest of the world thats keeping them from doing so.
You must not play a lot of video games. In fact, I think I'd say Bowser is more racist than mario, what have you been smoking?
Google is also responsible for the hacking because they made themselves available to be referred.
Yeah, I would place him as a mail-room clerk until he proves he can handle sensative information without releasing it to the public.
You know, we get the occaisonal user who manages to get a trojan or a worm on their computer at work. When we get the request ticket in, first thing we do is remotely check their Browser history and cache. Generally it boils down to a Russian or Korean website that was visitted. In some cases, it gets referred to by a rollover ad on a legitamit web page, so we don't punish them, but there are other times when you see them visitting some chinese news blogs about a hundred times a week. In this even, we walk over, unplug everything, and take the tower away, telling them we need to clean it ASAP and we don't want to risk spreading the infection. You or I would know this is highly unlikely, I've never encountered malware that has spread to a network drive, but I wouldn't put it past black hats to do such a thing if they wanted. Then we spend the next day or two cleaning the machine. Yeah, it usually only takes a few hours, slave it on our AV machine. But the idea is to teach them a lesson about visitting those websites. After they've been without their computer for a couple days, we tell them where they got the virus from, and warn them not to visit those sites.
It appears to be working.
The only other situation of security we've really come across was some guy in another department who clearly knew a bit about computers. He managed to tunnel into his own VPN to get past our firewall to run bittorrent and download movies, which he burned onto disc and was selling them apparently. When the IT manager, (My Boss) found out he went into quite a fit, launched a full IT investigation of the whole building, and in the end, so many people in that department were found to be visitting sites they shouldn't be, that half the department was canned.
I think it was a little overboard, but I guess the message was very clearly sent and recieved, that building has had no problems ever since.
What if you answered no?
I didn't even know Carpel tunnel could do that!
Why would this be an issue? It's not like you or I can download it and experience it, we have to go and visit the archive to see it.
Having an emulation of the computer just helps preserve the original, while only 1 copy of the OS/App/Media is active at all.
This is how VMWare can justify Virtualization. You can use 1 license for everything, and have multiple copies of the machine available, but only 1 running.
I don't.
None of the computers I deal with cause problems for me.
The Contractor who decides to reboot a server without informing us does. The user who deletes a file they needed. The Field tech who dropped his laptop in the mud. When the marketting team needs to send out 500 emails at once and the firewall stops it. Or when the seasonal temp sets up bitTorrent to download movies.
99% of the issues I've had to solve in the last year have not been because of computers themselves, but some of the ridiculous things people think they can just get away with. Albeit, it's not all their fault, (like marketting or the field tech), but that doesn't make it the computer's either.
Well, CRAP! Here's the deal.
He's going to be in Calgary, Alberta, (Canada) this weekend for our Comics & Entertainment Expo. There is a small town (maybe population 300) about half an hour outside of town called "Vulcan" - so of course he swung through there and all the daily papers made the pun about how Spock was in Vulcan. Anyways, back to the issue.
I told my girlfriend I'd take her to the mountains tomorrow. And I told my room mate we'd go snowboarding on Sunday, before the season ends, and seeing how I backed out on our plans to go last weekend, there's a bit of an obligation. I've never seen Leonard Nimoy before besides the Star Trek Series (despite his numerous trips around the globe for these kinds of events) - so it'd be nice to check it out before he puts in the towel.
So now I'm faced with a Dilemma. If I back out on my wingman, he'll likely get pissed, which could translate into a cruel prank at the house. Or do I put myself in the doghouse with the girlfriend, ditching out on our romantic trip for a geek fest? I know what you guys are going to say, bring both of them to the Expo and I'm sure they'll have fun. I'm not so sure they would enjoy it as much as the other plans we've made.
I think I have a worthy submission for Ask Slashdot.
When I read that, I sh*t bricks.
You might want to go swing by Youtube, pretty much all the people who post comments there are so intelligent they are never wrong.
Do they still put Parachutes on airliners?
I'm pretty sure it was a shotgun suicide attempt with an airsoft.
Whats it called again? The one with Nicholas Cage and John Travolta... Where they like, take the guys face off, and then his face is off, so then they take the other guys face off, and put it on the other guys face. And then the guy without a face is really put off by it, so he gets the doctor to take the first offed face and put it back on him. So their faces are swapped. And then they have an epic face off with a climactic finish.
God I wish I could just remember the name of that movie...
I know eh? Nothing is sexier than a girl who knows how to properly fashion a tin foil hat.
You gotta be careful man. Every odd once in a while, someone won't know what that means, and you'll have to explain it.
I guarantee you that any competant IT department would not only be fully aware of what was going on, but also smart enough not to stir a pot that big.
If I came in tomorrow and the entire sales team was found to be mass downloading pron, what could we do? Get the entire team fired? Who is going to pick up the slack from that? Can't just replace people just like that. We could filter their content, but how long before that becomes a headache when they can't reach legit sites. We can throttle them but then there are complaints that they can't get any work done while they are chewing through bandwidth on a bit-torrent.
IT's job is to make sure that everyone is up and running. Its the managers job to make sure that people are doing their work. When people start treating IT like a police force, then something is seriously wrong, and you need to look at the power structure and layout of your company. We can be eyes and ears, we can inform managers, but its definately NOT our job to go and get people fired.
Who in their right mind is going to pay for it?
And where is it going to be so that other people will see it?
I'd gladly sell my back for some Tattoo Adspace because I rarely go shirtless, however, whoever is purchasing from me would probably want some stipulation like it must be visible in public.
So who is going to host this urn for advertising?
Hey man, its not fat, its just bloated.
Oh dang, the punchline is the title... What do I put in the body?