NEW YORK -- A mysterious explosion rocked the headquarters of Dominoes Pizza in New York today, amidst allegations that their number one rival, Pizza Hut, was using a newly-launched Russian Proton rocket to carry aloft space-based weapons.
Witnesses of the explosion said they saw "laser beams" come down from the sky and torch the building. "It was just like Star Wars," said one passer-by. "It made this noise like, `keeerOOOOWWWW!', and then boom! The whole building just blew up. "
Nearly the entire executive of Dominoes was in a quarterly meeting with shareholders at the building. None have been emerged alive, and authorities fear the worst.
PizzaHut officials vehemently denied that the allegations. "We vehemently deny those allegations," said a press officer. "We launched nothing more than a crucial componenet of the space station. The idea that we launched some sort of orbiting sixteen gigawatt intra-flux-capacitative neutron beam ultra-laser is completely ludicrous. After all, our laboratories are at least six months away from having a working prototype."
"Of course," continued the press officer, "there's always a chance we could try to help Dominoes out before, say, their restaurants were destroyed one by one, every day, until they were nothing but smoking heaps of de-molecularized ashes. That would be a shame, and we really do want to help out. All they have to do is ask."
Free Software Foundation founder Richard M. Stallman could not be reached for comment. Said an FSF spokeswoman, "RMS doesn't like the way Dominoes licenses their recipes. And anyway, he usually orders Chinese."
I'm sorry, but as much of a fan of the web as I am, I really wouldn't consider it to be something worthy of archival in the state that it is at the moment.
Exactly! My god, the mix of the very occasional concrete ideas (approx. all of them good, IMHO) and the flurry of half-baked, fuzzy, let's-wave-my-hands-around-and-hope-nobody-calls-m e-on-it...can't even think of a word strong enough...tapioca fog (yeah, I know, I haven't had all my coffee yet) that can't even be described as thoughts...good lord, it's enough for me to become an Objectivist.
Why do you need to describe a software company as a "lifestream"? Why in god's name is it stupid to name 10,000 files when you may at any moment have to call it up -- and when it's simpler to say "Give me 3rdQuarterProjection.ps" rather than "Um, the one I was just working on..you know the one...it's got the thing...about how we're gonna do really well next quarter...it's in postscript..." And what the fsck does "tangible time" mean?
And then he goes an asks for tactile feedback in a mouse...a brilliant suggestion emerging from a sorry mass of dryer lint! (--not sarcasm) I can't...make...any...sense...of it...[bangs head against monitor]
Redmond, WA (AP): Microsoft (NASDAQ:MSFT) today announced that it would begin lobbying the federal government for a new addition to the Bill of Rights: Freedom to Innovate(tm).
"At first, we weren't thinking this big," said Chairman Bill "Bill" Gates at the launch party for the effort. "We thought we were just going to fight our own little fight. But when the people of America speak, Microsoft listens."
Gates said that what he was asking for was the enshrinement of Freedom to Innovate(tm) in an amendment to the US Constitution, exactly as other rights are listed. "So, for example, we've prepared a sample wording that simply says, `The Health and Security of Microsoft being essential to the health of this nation, Freedom to Innovate(tm) shall not be abridged.' But we're willing to negotiate."
When asked by a reporter what exactly he was willing to negotiate, Gates replied, "Well, we could grant the United States a one-time perpetual license to use the phrase `Freedom to Innovate'. That way, they wouldn't need the little (tm) in the Bill of Rights. After all, that's kind of tacky."
Free Software Foundation founder Richard M. Stallman could not be contacted for comment. A spokeswoman for the foundation said that the vociferous Microsoft critic was "sobbing in the corner of his office."
Cupertino, CA (Reuters) -- In a surprise move that reminded many industry pundits of the litigous days of the 1990s, Apple Computing (NASDAQ: APPL) announced a "look-and-feel" lawsuit against Intel (NASDAQ: INTC) over the new logo for the Pentium 4 processor.
At a press conference announcing the suit, a spokeswoman for Apple said, "This new logo is an obvious rip-off of the iMac design. In fact, Intel insiders have contacted us to say that the logo is based on a photo of an iMac taken from above. All they did was add the words `Intel Inside'."
"They're not even bothering to try any more," she added.
"Oh, for crying out loud," said an Intel spokesman. "Why doesn't Apple just grow the hell up? We don't even like their stupid computers anyway. I mean, what the hell is up with tangerine? Eh?"
Free Software Foundation founder Richard M. Stallman could not be contacted for comment.
Redmond, WA (AP): Microsoft (NYSE:MSFT) surprised observers with its latest proposal to the Department of Justice: its own version of the Gnu Public License, called the MGPL (Microsoft GPL).
"We can admit that we've been wrong," a spokesman for Microsoft said. "And it's time we corrected our mistakes. So, beginning today, we will release all of our software under the MGPL."
"Of course, there have been some changes," the spokesman continued. For one, the "click-wrap" license says that, by agreeing to it, the user agrees that all source code written by the user, upon any computer, using any operating system, shall be immediately emailed to Microsoft.
The license goes on to say that its terms "shall be utterly binding, without recourse, upon all entities, whether living or dead, everywhere, forever", and that the user "shall enforce the terms of this license, as a member of Microsoft's unholy Army of Terror."
The spokesman said Microsoft anticipated a positive response from the government. "And I think the public will be quite happy to help Microsoft defend its right to innovate -- after all, they will have the most important role."
Richard Stallman, founder of the Free Software Foundation and writer of the original GPL, could not be reached for comment. An anonymous source at the FSF said that Stallman was "running for the hills."
It's where you use a code/cipher to encode one message once, and theny never use that code/cipher again. Think of having a pad of paper, each with its own code/cipher on it. Each time you want to send a msg, you use the top sheet of paper to encrypt it, and then throw away (well, destroy) that sheet. The recipient uses their copy of the pad of paper to decrypt the message, then destroys their copy.
The advantage is that it's very hard/actually impossible (ask a cryptographer for conditions) to decrypt a message, since IIRC it's mainly by comparing messages that you decode/decrypt things. If you find the letter that appears the most often, and the same cipher is being used for each message, and you have a bunch of messages, it probably stands for "E" (if it's in English and a very simple cipher), since that's the letter that's most frequently used in English. But if you've only got one message that uses a given cipher, you don't know if the most-frequently-used letter stands for "E" or if they just happened to write a msg that had a whole lot of "Q"s -- say.
IAMAY (I am not awake yet), but that's the basic idea.
Go to your library or bookstore and get Confessions of a Reocrd Producer: How to survive the scams and shams of the music business by Moses Avalon. It's a fascinating introduction to the numbers of the music business, and why and how the big labels work the way they do. I can't recommend it enough.
Excellent idea, and extremely well-put. But -- and I don't say this to be a jerk -- what's to prevent passing along the (say) unique serial number on your CD? Is everyone gonna bring their CD to Ticketmaster to get the discount on tix?
Whoah there, big fella...there are plenty of musicians who aren't signed to major labels that are still not unknown. Ani DiFranco 'd kick your ass for that...
I have a question for the peanut gallery; how many people out there download MP3s for CDs they don't have and keep them permanently? I don't.
Honestly? I do.
I plan on getting the CDs eventually, since the MP3 is only playable on my computer with its noisy fan that kind of annoys my girlfriend...but I don't have the CD now, and it might well be a long time before I get around to buying it.
Does that make me a bad person? It certainly makes me a thief.
I said it before, I'll say it again: get ASCAP and BMIy involved!
They're the ones that monitor radio stations and license places like stores and restaurants that play music. The money goes to anyone who signs up with them. Obviously it depends on how often you're played, but anyone can sign up.
Treat Napster like a radio station. Make them pay licensing fees -- big ones maybe, because of the number of songs they're "broadcasting" (yeah, it's a bit of a stretch, but just imagine). Metallica gets 1.5 million downloads? Pay 'em accordingly. The guy who cleans your pool gets 2 downloads? He gets paid too. Napster makes a choice between passing the fees off to advertisers, or charging users a subscription fee.
(AP) -- At a press conference today, NASA (NYSE:DIS) today unveiled the latest version of the troubled International Space Station. Renamed SpaceWorld(tm), it would include plenty of rides for the kids, as well as a place for parents to get away for a while.
"Scientific research is still very important to Disney. NASA. I mean NASA," said NASA Executive Michael Eisner. "But it's time that we made it fun for the whole family."
New space suits were also introduced. Known as MICKEYs, they feature prominent round, black protusions on either side of the helmet, now in jet black.
"Those?" said Eisner. "Those are just satellite transponders. For the astronauts. I'm afraid I can't give out details right now, but I assure you, they are very important." Eisner then refused to say what MICKEY was an acronym for, and announced a warning for those who might try to figure it out.
"I've been advised by our attorneys that any attemt to reverse-engineer that acronym is punishable under the Digital Millenium Copyright Act. And believe me, we're protect acronym theft wherever it occurs."
Eric S. Raymond was unavailable for comment, as he was being fitted for a MICKEY of his own.
Right now, I feel like buying 50 floppies and doing it all over again. No kidding! I broke down and bought my 'puter three years ago now...just a simple P-90 (still using it) for cheap. I found some god-awful DOS internet do-it-all program that used code that had obviously been cadged from some text spreadsheet program. To pick up your mail messages you had to go to cell A-3. I kid you fucking not.
Anyhow, all this so I could download Slackware 3.1 from metalab (before it was metalab...can't remember its old name), and all over a 33k modem. Took me for freakin' ever. I had floppy disks all over the place. But finally I had Linux installed, and boy was that an accomplishment. I've stuck w/Slackware since, although it's not quite the same doing it with a cd.
Slashdot Mirror
Witnesses of the explosion said they saw "laser beams" come down from the sky and torch the building. "It was just like Star Wars," said one passer-by. "It made this noise like, `keeerOOOOWWWW!', and then boom! The whole building just blew up. "
Nearly the entire executive of Dominoes was in a quarterly meeting with shareholders at the building. None have been emerged alive, and authorities fear the worst.
PizzaHut officials vehemently denied that the allegations. "We vehemently deny those allegations," said a press officer. "We launched nothing more than a crucial componenet of the space station. The idea that we launched some sort of orbiting sixteen gigawatt intra-flux-capacitative neutron beam ultra-laser is completely ludicrous. After all, our laboratories are at least six months away from having a working prototype."
"Of course," continued the press officer, "there's always a chance we could try to help Dominoes out before, say, their restaurants were destroyed one by one, every day, until they were nothing but smoking heaps of de-molecularized ashes. That would be a shame, and we really do want to help out. All they have to do is ask."
Free Software Foundation founder Richard M. Stallman could not be reached for comment. Said an FSF spokeswoman, "RMS doesn't like the way Dominoes licenses their recipes. And anyway, he usually orders Chinese."
Go get 'em, tiger!
Sir, I applaud you.
Excellent troll. You are to be commended, sir.
Spot on. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that piece of cack was vastly over-hyped.
Why do you need to describe a software company as a "lifestream"? Why in god's name is it stupid to name 10,000 files when you may at any moment have to call it up -- and when it's simpler to say "Give me 3rdQuarterProjection.ps" rather than "Um, the one I was just working on..you know the one...it's got the thing...about how we're gonna do really well next quarter...it's in postscript..." And what the fsck does "tangible time" mean?
And then he goes an asks for tactile feedback in a mouse...a brilliant suggestion emerging from a sorry mass of dryer lint! (--not sarcasm) I can't...make...any...sense...of it...[bangs head against monitor]
"At first, we weren't thinking this big," said Chairman Bill "Bill" Gates at the launch party for the effort. "We thought we were just going to fight our own little fight. But when the people of America speak, Microsoft listens."
Gates said that what he was asking for was the enshrinement of Freedom to Innovate(tm) in an amendment to the US Constitution, exactly as other rights are listed. "So, for example, we've prepared a sample wording that simply says, `The Health and Security of Microsoft being essential to the health of this nation, Freedom to Innovate(tm) shall not be abridged.' But we're willing to negotiate."
When asked by a reporter what exactly he was willing to negotiate, Gates replied, "Well, we could grant the United States a one-time perpetual license to use the phrase `Freedom to Innovate'. That way, they wouldn't need the little (tm) in the Bill of Rights. After all, that's kind of tacky."
Free Software Foundation founder Richard M. Stallman could not be contacted for comment. A spokeswoman for the foundation said that the vociferous Microsoft critic was "sobbing in the corner of his office."
At a press conference announcing the suit, a spokeswoman for Apple said, "This new logo is an obvious rip-off of the iMac design. In fact, Intel insiders have contacted us to say that the logo is based on a photo of an iMac taken from above. All they did was add the words `Intel Inside'."
"They're not even bothering to try any more," she added.
"Oh, for crying out loud," said an Intel spokesman. "Why doesn't Apple just grow the hell up? We don't even like their stupid computers anyway. I mean, what the hell is up with tangerine? Eh?"
Free Software Foundation founder Richard M. Stallman could not be contacted for comment.
...can be found here
"We can admit that we've been wrong," a spokesman for Microsoft said. "And it's time we corrected our mistakes. So, beginning today, we will release all of our software under the MGPL."
"Of course, there have been some changes," the spokesman continued. For one, the "click-wrap" license says that, by agreeing to it, the user agrees that all source code written by the user, upon any computer, using any operating system, shall be immediately emailed to Microsoft.
The license goes on to say that its terms "shall be utterly binding, without recourse, upon all entities, whether living or dead, everywhere, forever", and that the user "shall enforce the terms of this license, as a member of Microsoft's unholy Army of Terror."
The spokesman said Microsoft anticipated a positive response from the government. "And I think the public will be quite happy to help Microsoft defend its right to innovate -- after all, they will have the most important role."
Richard Stallman, founder of the Free Software Foundation and writer of the original GPL, could not be reached for comment. An anonymous source at the FSF said that Stallman was "running for the hills."
Now can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of these things? (ducks quickly)
The advantage is that it's very hard/actually impossible (ask a cryptographer for conditions) to decrypt a message, since IIRC it's mainly by comparing messages that you decode/decrypt things. If you find the letter that appears the most often, and the same cipher is being used for each message, and you have a bunch of messages, it probably stands for "E" (if it's in English and a very simple cipher), since that's the letter that's most frequently used in English. But if you've only got one message that uses a given cipher, you don't know if the most-frequently-used letter stands for "E" or if they just happened to write a msg that had a whole lot of "Q"s -- say.
IAMAY (I am not awake yet), but that's the basic idea.
ROFLMAO
Go to your library or bookstore and get Confessions of a Reocrd Producer: How to survive the scams and shams of the music business by Moses Avalon. It's a fascinating introduction to the numbers of the music business, and why and how the big labels work the way they do. I can't recommend it enough.
Excellent idea, and extremely well-put. But -- and I don't say this to be a jerk -- what's to prevent passing along the (say) unique serial number on your CD? Is everyone gonna bring their CD to Ticketmaster to get the discount on tix?
Whoah there, big fella...there are plenty of musicians who aren't signed to major labels that are still not unknown. Ani DiFranco 'd kick your ass for that...
Honestly? I do.
I plan on getting the CDs eventually, since the MP3 is only playable on my computer with its noisy fan that kind of annoys my girlfriend...but I don't have the CD now, and it might well be a long time before I get around to buying it.
Does that make me a bad person? It certainly makes me a thief.
They're the ones that monitor radio stations and license places like stores and restaurants that play music. The money goes to anyone who signs up with them. Obviously it depends on how often you're played, but anyone can sign up.
Treat Napster like a radio station. Make them pay licensing fees -- big ones maybe, because of the number of songs they're "broadcasting" (yeah, it's a bit of a stretch, but just imagine). Metallica gets 1.5 million downloads? Pay 'em accordingly. The guy who cleans your pool gets 2 downloads? He gets paid too. Napster makes a choice between passing the fees off to advertisers, or charging users a subscription fee.
Wouldn't that make people happy?
I say no.
"Scientific research is still very important to Disney. NASA. I mean NASA," said NASA Executive Michael Eisner. "But it's time that we made it fun for the whole family."
New space suits were also introduced. Known as MICKEYs, they feature prominent round, black protusions on either side of the helmet, now in jet black.
"Those?" said Eisner. "Those are just satellite transponders. For the astronauts. I'm afraid I can't give out details right now, but I assure you, they are very important." Eisner then refused to say what MICKEY was an acronym for, and announced a warning for those who might try to figure it out.
"I've been advised by our attorneys that any attemt to reverse-engineer that acronym is punishable under the Digital Millenium Copyright Act. And believe me, we're protect acronym theft wherever it occurs."
Eric S. Raymond was unavailable for comment, as he was being fitted for a MICKEY of his own.
Clinton is so right.
Anyhow, all this so I could download Slackware 3.1 from metalab (before it was metalab...can't remember its old name), and all over a 33k modem. Took me for freakin' ever. I had floppy disks all over the place. But finally I had Linux installed, and boy was that an accomplishment. I've stuck w/Slackware since, although it's not quite the same doing it with a cd.
Excellent, truly excellent. Tell me you've got a site somewhere.
Thank you. A true classic.
ROFL