Unfortunately for me, since what I know about graphics design could be inserted into the eye of a gnat without causing it to blink, I'm still just as screwed as I was before.:)
And under it!
Or take the legs off, strap 'em underneath the top and put the whole shebang on its side against the wall, (or hang it and call it Art! Or Woody, or whatever...)
Now mod me funny for the punny, insightful for figuring out a functional way to get the table out of the way and informative for telling you how to do it...
(Or mod me down just for the hell of it - I don't care - I've got karma to burn - bwaahahhahha!:)
For the curious, here's the log of a chat with their support during the keyboard saga.
(A few things have been slightly edited to either protect my client's identity and/or get past the/. lameness filter, otherwise it's verbatim).
Keep in mind the following takes place over an hour after the initial call was placed and I've already been hung up on twice, once by the automated system and once during a transfer between operator and tech.
The session has been accepted.
NAZIM_KHAN 12:51:24 PM Thank you for contacting Dell Technical Chat Support for Notebooks. My name is Nazim Khan, May I have the initial shipping address and phone number so that I can pull up your account details ?
NAZIM_KHAN 12:52:10 PM Please let me know if you are receiving my message? Not to rush you, are you still with me?
12:52:16 PM Name: E* S* Contact Address: Some Street Small Town, NY 12345- Phone: 123-456-7890
12:52:52 PM Name and address is for client who will be there until Monday. Can somebody get to her before then?
NAZIM_KHAN 12:53:56 PM I am afraid that we cannot proceed further without the initial verification, as the information you have given does not match with the records. Please provide with the telephone number and the address, as mentioned in the invoice (which you have used at the time of purchase).
12:54:54 PM Ah, sorry! Address should be: PO Box 123, Small Town, CA
Phone number I have no idea - that's her cell number. I had initially given the current location of the client, who was travelling at the time
NAZIM_KHAN 12:55:38 PM E*, may be you have entered the wrong Service Tag, you have entered as AA0AA00
12:56:58 PM My name is actually M*. I provide IT services for them. E* gave me that as the tag over the phone and her laptop is indeed a 6000 series Inspiron. Additionally the purchase date is about when she got it, so I am fairly sure that's the correct tag...
12:57:53 PM Are we still connected?
NAZIM_KHAN 12:57:54 PM I understand your concern , This information is required for the security and privacy of your account. As the information given by you doesnâ(TM)t match with our records, I am unable to pull-out your account details. Hence, We canâ(TM)t proceed further with the chat. I would suggest you to contact Dell Customer Care at 800-624-9897, to get the system information.
NAZIM_KHAN 12:58:07 PM And feel free to contact us back, we would be more than happy to assist you. We assure you our best support all the time.
12:58:25 PM I've tried to call them twice and keep getting hung up on!
NAZIM_KHAN 12:59:51 PM I will suggest you to contact Dell Customer Care at 800-624-9897 and get the exact details and connect us back,
1:01:13 PM Please read what I just typed.
NAZIM_KHAN 1:03:01 PM} I have read it and had suggested you to do some thing ( to contact customer care ) , As the information given by you doesnâ(TM)t match with our records, I am unable to pull-out your account details. Hence, As This information is required for the security and privacy of your account.
1:03:48 PM How about if you guys call her?
NAZIM_KHAN 1:04:45 PM For that I will give you the number its 800-624-9896
1:05:43 PM Promise they won't hang up? This is getting VERY frustrating!
NAZIM_KHAN 1:06:10 PM I understand your concern Believe me things will be fine, We are always here to help our valuable customer and make them happy.
1:09:57 PM And this !@# automated system doesn't help!! I was back on the phone at this point and not terribly happy that the second number he gave me appeared to lead to the same automated system
NAZIM_KHAN 1:10:17 PM Feel free to contact us back, we would be more than happy to assist you. We assure you our best support all the time.
1:10:26 PM (I'm trying to get through it right now, what does it take to get a live person?!?!?!?!)
...with some good support. [cough]-[sputter] Never had to call them, have you?:)
But seriously, I've dealt with them off and on over the years and didn't think they were particularly good or bad. Hardware-wise they seemed to be improving gradually.
So I signed up to be a Dell reseller a few months ago for the heck of it - took me over a week and almost a dozen faxes/emails because they kep losing the damn paperwork!
But I thought to myself maybe I just had the bad luck to consistently deal with idiots in the tax dept.
Then yesterday I spent three hours trying to get a 2-month old laptop keyboard with keys falling off replaced under warranty!
I will never, ever recommend Dell ever again. The few dollars saved up front is more than burned to ashes by the time spent trying to get through to somebody with half a clue...
(Only then did my wife tell me the saga of the six months it took her to get them to replace her completely dead laptop screen:).
And the HP/Compaq end of things? Yeah, the low end consumer stuff is complete crap but the business class systems/servers are actually pretty decent. I like to be able to have a support rep on the phone in less than five minutes and have parts sent out overnight no questions asked. (Not that I have to call very often, other than a run of bad 72G drives awhile back nothing's died for any of my clients in years).
...then we should all offer our sympathy...I've found MS project inadequate for planning even small things...
I'm not saying it's great, but it does the job. My only real objection to it is that it's a Microsoft product!:)
So, now that we know you don't like it, what do you use?:)
(As an old boss used to say, "C'mon guys! Don't give me complaints - give me solutions!")
MS Project?! Man, you are sick! I suggest some time going cold turkey to make your hair un-pointy...
Heh, all well and good until your next project that has several thousand(!) discrete tasks spread out over several dozen people and at least another dozen or so checkpoints/milestones for integration with other projects that you, by the way, have no control over.
It's very nice to be able to print out a Gant chart that's about 10' by 10' so you can visually demonstrate to the powers that be why the promises they made cannot be fulfilled without changing the laws of physics.:) (And then be able to update it on the fly as they try to come up with creative solutions).
But yeah, like the parent poster said, I wouldn't mind an OSX-compatible alternative to MS-Project myself!
One of the symptoms is random advanced tremors, to quote the question. try translating that random information into logical mouse movements, genius.
And if you'd followed the original link and read up on the device in question you'd know that it is an adaptor designed to interpolate those "random" movements into something useful.
As it happens a client of mine has Parkinson's and has been using one of those little boxes for a few months now and absolutely loves it!
(Egads, I'm going to have start reading at +2 with this kind of signal-to-noise ratio...!)
Since the post you are replying to references a mouse we must assume that you've never heard of an on-screen keyboard. (And if you don't know what that is try Google!:)
This isn't an answer but once you have some numbers to work with it may be helpful to know that Gartner group studies show average IT outlay to be around $2000 per employee per year.
Granted, this does include everything from the electricity cost to paying the janitor to dust the monitor once a week but the fact remains that the bulk of that $2k is still hardware/software/admin costs. (I think $1700? Anybody have a link?)
...the price you quote is not bad based on the American cost of living...
Be that as it may the telco equipment to provide those services probably isn't manufactured in SA either!
Not to mention many countries have import duties as high as 100% on technology items. (Dunno if SA is like that...?)
I'm betting you are using Exchange so, get some disks and learn some VBScript. TTFN 1 - Exchange 2003 has a DB interface 2 - There are 3rd party products that integrate with Exchange and provide everything you need for compliance in a nice pretty interface.
All but one anyway... *sigh*
Not to mention the grammatical error I missed in my own post even after previewing and my failure to point out that the GP is also an ignorant cunt given that spelling "rules" tend to be pretty flexible when translating from languages that don't use a Roman alphabet.
*sob* I can't even craft a proper response to Slashdot flamebait, truly I am a geek failure!:(
It's spelled RWANDA, (Score:1) by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 29, @11:46PM (#13200806) you fucking illiterate cunt.
It's called a typo, similar to the other mistakes in the post, you fucking unobservant cunt.
(Unless, of course, they're using a Dvorak layout in which case you could be right, though that still doesn't absolve you from looking like an ill-tempered schmuck.:)
If the genes are "useless" as you say, they don't code for proteins, in which case the cell appears the same to the immune system. Who says they can't code for proteins and still be irrelevant to the normal operation of malaria? When I said "useless" I was referring to the physical functionality of the malaria. Obviously they are very useful as a "cloaking device"!
And you obviously didn't Google for it (though admittedly I didn't either until goaded by your less than genteel response) since I found references almost immediately.
Of the first page of results this article is closest to the one I read originally, though unfortunately less detailed.
(I will leave further investigation as an exercise for the pedantic parent poster, er, I mean gentle reader...:).
If he had finished his presctiption he probably wouldn't be stuck with malaria for the rest of his life.
Interestingly, they've recently sequenced the malaria genome (don't have an article link, sorry) and discovered that 64 of the genes are useless "bits" that are flipped randomly with every generation. Apparently this is how it escapes detection by the body's immune system - every generation is a "new" critter.
Even more interesting is the fact that they figured out how to "freeze" those genes which lets the body learn to defend itself after only a few generations! So far tested only in mice of course but they're rushing the testing as it could also be a viable approach to fighting the AIDS virus.
find the local hospital and remember how to get there Many third world hospitals are truly horrible. You may get better care from the friendly local ex-patriot veterinarian. (Really! Ask around when you get there...)
Slashdot Mirror
Unfortunately for me, since what I know about graphics design could be inserted into the eye of a gnat without causing it to blink, I'm still just as screwed as I was before. :)
Just pile everything on the table!
:)
And under it!
Or take the legs off, strap 'em underneath the top and put the whole shebang on its side against the wall, (or hang it and call it Art! Or Woody, or whatever...)
Now mod me funny for the punny, insightful for figuring out a functional way to get the table out of the way and informative for telling you how to do it...
(Or mod me down just for the hell of it - I don't care - I've got karma to burn - bwaahahhahha!
Great links - thanks! :)
So from this we learn...
:/
Actually, upon RTFA, my first response was "OMGWAFG" (Oh My God, What a Fucking Geek!)
But then again, I actually did RTFA, so I guess I'm the pot calling the kettle black...
...I just went through this shit with Internap (Fischer Plaza...
Heh, I helped a client move a couple racks of gear out of there just the other day!
For the curious, here's the log of a chat with their support during the keyboard saga. /. lameness filter, otherwise it's verbatim).
,
.
(A few things have been slightly edited to either protect my client's identity and/or get past the
Keep in mind the following takes place over an hour after the initial call was placed and I've already been hung up on twice, once by the automated system and once during a transfer between operator and tech.
The session has been accepted.
NAZIM_KHAN 12:51:24 PM Thank you for contacting Dell Technical Chat Support for Notebooks. My name is Nazim Khan, May I have the initial shipping address and phone number so that I can pull up your account details ?
NAZIM_KHAN 12:52:10 PM Please let me know if you are receiving my message?
Not to rush you, are you still with me?
12:52:16 PM Name: E* S*
Contact Address:
Some Street
Small Town, NY 12345-
Phone: 123-456-7890
12:52:52 PM Name and address is for client who will be there until Monday. Can somebody get to her before then?
NAZIM_KHAN 12:53:56 PM I am afraid that we cannot proceed further without the initial verification, as the information you have given does not match with the records. Please provide with the telephone number and the address, as mentioned in the invoice (which you have used at the time of purchase).
12:54:54 PM Ah, sorry!
Address should be:
PO Box 123, Small Town, CA
Phone number I have no idea - that's her cell number.
I had initially given the current location of the client, who was travelling at the time
NAZIM_KHAN 12:55:38 PM E*, may be you have entered the wrong Service Tag, you have entered as AA0AA00
12:56:58 PM My name is actually M*. I provide IT services for them. E* gave me that as the tag over the phone and her laptop is indeed a 6000 series Inspiron. Additionally the purchase date is about when she got it, so I am fairly sure that's the correct tag...
12:57:53 PM Are we still connected?
NAZIM_KHAN 12:57:54 PM I understand your concern , This information is required for the security and privacy of your account. As the information given by you doesnâ(TM)t match with our records, I am unable to pull-out your account details. Hence, We canâ(TM)t proceed further with the chat. I would suggest you to contact Dell Customer Care at 800-624-9897, to get the system information.
NAZIM_KHAN 12:58:07 PM And feel free to contact us back, we would be more than happy to assist you. We assure you our best support all the time.
12:58:25 PM I've tried to call them twice and keep getting hung up on!
NAZIM_KHAN 12:59:51 PM I will suggest you to contact Dell Customer Care at 800-624-9897 and get the exact details and connect us back
1:01:13 PM Please read what I just typed.
NAZIM_KHAN 1:03:01 PM} I have read it and had suggested you to do some thing ( to contact customer care ) , As the information given by you doesnâ(TM)t match with our records, I am unable to pull-out your account details. Hence, As This information is required for the security and privacy of your account.
1:03:48 PM How about if you guys call her?
NAZIM_KHAN 1:04:45 PM For that I will give you the number its 800-624-9896
1:05:43 PM Promise they won't hang up? This is getting VERY frustrating!
NAZIM_KHAN 1:06:10 PM I understand your concern Believe me things will be fine, We are always here to help our valuable customer and make them happy
1:09:57 PM And this !@# automated system doesn't help!!
I was back on the phone at this point and not terribly happy that the second number he gave me appeared to lead to the same automated system
NAZIM_KHAN 1:10:17 PM Feel free to contact us back, we would be more than happy to assist you. We assure you our best support all the time.
1:10:26 PM (I'm trying to get through it right now, what does it take to get a live person?!?!?!?!)
...with some good support. :) :).
[cough]-[sputter]
Never had to call them, have you?
But seriously, I've dealt with them off and on over the years and didn't think they were particularly good or bad. Hardware-wise they seemed to be improving gradually.
So I signed up to be a Dell reseller a few months ago for the heck of it - took me over a week and almost a dozen faxes/emails because they kep losing the damn paperwork!
But I thought to myself maybe I just had the bad luck to consistently deal with idiots in the tax dept.
Then yesterday I spent three hours trying to get a 2-month old laptop keyboard with keys falling off replaced under warranty!
I will never, ever recommend Dell ever again. The few dollars saved up front is more than burned to ashes by the time spent trying to get through to somebody with half a clue...
(Only then did my wife tell me the saga of the six months it took her to get them to replace her completely dead laptop screen
And the HP/Compaq end of things? Yeah, the low end consumer stuff is complete crap but the business class systems/servers are actually pretty decent. I like to be able to have a support rep on the phone in less than five minutes and have parts sent out overnight no questions asked. (Not that I have to call very often, other than a run of bad 72G drives awhile back nothing's died for any of my clients in years).
...then we should all offer our sympathy...I've found MS project inadequate for planning even small things...
:) :)
I'm not saying it's great, but it does the job. My only real objection to it is that it's a Microsoft product!
So, now that we know you don't like it, what do you use?
(As an old boss used to say, "C'mon guys! Don't give me complaints - give me solutions!")
MS Project?! Man, you are sick! I suggest some time going cold turkey to make your hair un-pointy...
:) (And then be able to update it on the fly as they try to come up with creative solutions).
Heh, all well and good until your next project that has several thousand(!) discrete tasks spread out over several dozen people and at least another dozen or so checkpoints/milestones for integration with other projects that you, by the way, have no control over.
It's very nice to be able to print out a Gant chart that's about 10' by 10' so you can visually demonstrate to the powers that be why the promises they made cannot be fulfilled without changing the laws of physics.
But yeah, like the parent poster said, I wouldn't mind an OSX-compatible alternative to MS-Project myself!
colon fly-throughs
You bastard! I'm never going to get that image out of my head!
(Waitaminute, is that what happened to the goatse.cx guy?!?)
...mouse software or driver or something that was specifically designed for people with unsteady hands...
You mean this?
(It's completely hardware based so not limited to just Windows).
One of the symptoms is random advanced tremors, to quote the question. try translating that random information into logical mouse movements, genius.
And if you'd followed the original link and read up on the device in question you'd know that it is an adaptor designed to interpolate those "random" movements into something useful.
As it happens a client of mine has Parkinson's and has been using one of those little boxes for a few months now and absolutely loves it!
(Egads, I'm going to have start reading at +2 with this kind of signal-to-noise ratio...!)
do not focus on the technology she cannot use
:)
Since the post you are replying to references a mouse we must assume that you've never heard of an on-screen keyboard.
(And if you don't know what that is try Google!
This isn't an answer but once you have some numbers to work with it may be helpful to know that Gartner group studies show average IT outlay to be around $2000 per employee per year.
Granted, this does include everything from the electricity cost to paying the janitor to dust the monitor once a week but the fact remains that the bulk of that $2k is still hardware/software/admin costs. (I think $1700? Anybody have a link?)
OMFG!! That's hilarious! :)
Mod parent up!!!!
...the price you quote is not bad based on the American cost of living...
Be that as it may the telco equipment to provide those services probably isn't manufactured in SA either!
Not to mention many countries have import duties as high as 100% on technology items. (Dunno if SA is like that...?)
They have computerized screens now...
Portland's a bit behind the times then. Those screns have been in most airports for at least several years now.
I'm betting you are using Exchange so, get some disks and learn some VBScript. TTFN
1 - Exchange 2003 has a DB interface
2 - There are 3rd party products that integrate with Exchange and provide everything you need for compliance in a nice pretty interface.
Kinda figured that might be the answer... [grin]
So, uh, whatcha doin' with the old hardware...? Need a place to get rid of it? :)
The same typo every time?
:(
All but one anyway... *sigh*
Not to mention the grammatical error I missed in my own post even after previewing and my failure to point out that the GP is also an ignorant cunt given that spelling "rules" tend to be pretty flexible when translating from languages that don't use a Roman alphabet.
*sob* I can't even craft a proper response to Slashdot flamebait, truly I am a geek failure!
It's spelled RWANDA, (Score:1)
:)
by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 29, @11:46PM (#13200806)
you fucking illiterate cunt.
It's called a typo, similar to the other mistakes in the post, you fucking unobservant cunt.
(Unless, of course, they're using a Dvorak layout in which case you could be right, though that still doesn't absolve you from looking like an ill-tempered schmuck.
If the genes are "useless" as you say, they don't code for proteins, in which case the cell appears the same to the immune system.
Who says they can't code for proteins and still be irrelevant to the normal operation of malaria? When I said "useless" I was referring to the physical functionality of the malaria. Obviously they are very useful as a "cloaking device"!
And you obviously didn't Google for it (though admittedly I didn't either until goaded by your less than genteel response) since I found references almost immediately.
Of the first page of results this article is closest to the one I read originally, though unfortunately less detailed.
(I will leave further investigation as an exercise for the pedantic parent poster, er, I mean gentle reader...
If he had finished his presctiption he probably wouldn't be stuck with malaria for the rest of his life.
Interestingly, they've recently sequenced the malaria genome (don't have an article link, sorry) and discovered that 64 of the genes are useless "bits" that are flipped randomly with every generation. Apparently this is how it escapes detection by the body's immune system - every generation is a "new" critter.
Even more interesting is the fact that they figured out how to "freeze" those genes which lets the body learn to defend itself after only a few generations! So far tested only in mice of course but they're rushing the testing as it could also be a viable approach to fighting the AIDS virus.
Oh, forgot to add this:
find the local hospital and remember how to get there
Many third world hospitals are truly horrible. You may get better care from the friendly local ex-patriot veterinarian. (Really! Ask around when you get there...)