JonKatz hears about this strange game called "pinball", investigates it, and promptly decries the "flippers of the Corporate Republic" oppressing the shiny metallic Geek in a post-Columbine environment with Ramps of Copyright and Bumpers of Patent Law.
Slashdotters alternately praise the insight of JonKatz or decry him as overanalyzing A SIMPLE GAME.
I'm lookin' for you, dad, I'm even running the Seti@home client on several dozen machines at work.. why won't you talk to me, dad! Why don't you ever call?!
Two friends of mine and I agreed to tattoo our Social Security numbers onto the backs of our necks as soon as cheap hand-held scanning technology became available. We're one step closer now. Woo hoo!
Like the RTS genre, this one is stagnating due to lack of serious innovation. The gameplay in, say, FreeSpace 2 isn't all that much different from that in Space War: fly around and blow stuff up. Sure, FreeSpace 2 is prettier, sounds better, and has some huge capital ships. Yes, Tachyon was even prettier, with solid flight and combat engines. And StarLancer--generic but playable. At their bases, though, they all followed the template: fly around, blow stuff up.
Yup, the gameplay in, say, Diablo 2 isn't all that much different from that in Zork I: play game, have fun. At their bases, though, they all followed the template: play game, have fun.
"We have nothing to hide," a FBI spokesperson said. "The ACLU's request was sent by email, so, er, it came as a complete surprise to us, so, um, we couldn't have hidden anything."
"Please use email for all of your future correspondence with our Congressional overseers- it makes, er, participating in politics that much easier for you. Yeah."
I've been in my parents' basement, playing Pac-Man over and over and over, determined to get the highest score ever. I dropped out of college and haven't seen the outside world in the past ten or fifteen years or so.. but I think I finally did it! A score of 3,332,950! NO ONE could beat that, not even that Bobby Mitchell guy I heard my parents yelling about once...
``We are honored to be working with the extremely talented folks at LucasArts, developing a role playing game based upon one of the most high-profile licenses in the world,'' added Dr. Ray Muzyka, joint CEO of BioWare.
Eeeagh! A role-playing game based on Microsoft's click-wrap licenses! Quick, roll a save versus crushing monopoly!
In related news, a scientist working in the field stated, "Soon I'll be able to create my own Hunkapiller, by crossing the strength and virile good looks of Fabio with the deceptive stealth of the caterpillar. My Hunkapiller will destroy the world!"
What scares me the most about this is the fan-fic that's going to result. We used to have Mulder and Scully playing hide-the-alien-probe (I wouldn't know, ofc, I just.. um, saw it for, er, research purposes) and now we'll have Robert Patrick doing his T-1000 impersonations under the sheets.
In related news, the collaboration of scientists at the Department of Energy's Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory gave public thanks to Star Trek writers, saying, "Without those pseudoscientific plotlines, we wouldn't have any direction in our research." When asked about future plans, one stated, "I've always been keen on developing a positronic brain, or maybe building a phasing tachyonic pulse emitter."
Comments of "Get a life, you trekkie" and "Move out of your parents' basement" did not receive replies.
Posting this on linuxdoc.org is all fine and good, but what good will that do you when you're inside a black hole, eh? We should propose to Congress that this HOWTO be posted inside every black hole that a child could conceivably find.
Yeah yeah yeah, I realized it after I submitted, but it's still funny. Let that be a lesson to all you karma whores; if you rush too fast to get a joke out, you'll fsck it up.
No mention of "geek", no mention of "Goth", no mention of "post-Columbine"...
But we did find a match for "Corporate Republic".
"Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus" can be rewritten to "Yes, JonKatz, there really is a post-Columbine Corporate Republic requiring registration of Goths and geeks that's secretly blah blah blah."
I'm not a soccer mom or a soccer dad. I drive a Toyota Corolla because I'm a poor college student and cannot afford a SUV in any incarnation. Safety is paramount on my mind whenever I drive.
Three years ago I was in a Dodge Neon that was broadsided by a SUV that ran a red light. I was relatively unhurt except for flying glass; my girlfriend was in a coma for several months.
The people in the SUV possibly bought their car with the intent of surviving a collision. Their concern after the accident was "Our car is damaged. Oh, and those poor people in the other car, I feel bad, but I'll never have to think of them again." Our concern after the accident was "Will Erin die before she can be medevaced, and will she ever walk again."
Not everyone can afford to buy a car with the philosophy "the heavier the better". But someone else's life can be horribly altered or even ended because someone needed an SUV.
(Dramatic? Maybe. Offtopic? Possible. True? Every word.)
Keep it up, Jon - I just won a six-pack due to the 'post-Columbine' quote in your review. If you use it in your next article, I can really make out like a bandit - it's double-or-nothing time.
In fact, if you stay as predictable as you are, I'll be able to host one hell of a party in just a few weeks, and soon I'll be set for life.
Goth and Evil Corporate Republic references are side bets.
But you probably won't praise me for my math skills right now.
Somehow I feel like Wally and Dilbert correcting a female engineer about her paycheck being 75% of a male engineer's but that men make 33% more, not 25% more.
Slashdot Mirror
Slashdotters alternately praise the insight of JonKatz or decry him as overanalyzing A SIMPLE GAME.
I'm lookin' for you, dad, I'm even running the Seti@home client on several dozen machines at work .. why won't you talk to me, dad! Why don't you ever call?!
Two friends of mine and I agreed to tattoo our Social Security numbers onto the backs of our necks as soon as cheap hand-held scanning technology became available. We're one step closer now. Woo hoo!
Yup, the gameplay in, say, Diablo 2 isn't all that much different from that in Zork I: play game, have fun. At their bases, though, they all followed the template: play game, have fun.
Blue elf needs reality check, badly.
I refuse to grow up -- but I will be an adult about it.
University techs research the system in-depth. A flurry of emails flies back and forth.
By some coincidence, the FBI is not caught by surprise.
Sigh. Guess I'll have to keep looking for my parents with the Arecibo radio telescope.
There's GOTTA be some kinda way to slashdot that planet.
"Please use email for all of your future correspondence with our Congressional overseers- it makes, er, participating in politics that much easier for you. Yeah."
I've been in my parents' basement, playing Pac-Man over and over and over, determined to get the highest score ever. I dropped out of college and haven't seen the outside world in the past ten or fifteen years or so .. but I think I finally did it! A score of 3,332,950! NO ONE could beat that, not even that Bobby Mitchell guy I heard my parents yelling about once...
Eeeagh! A role-playing game based on Microsoft's click-wrap licenses! Quick, roll a save versus crushing monopoly!
"Starting with Tokyo first," he added.
I'm looking for ya, dad!
I've scared myself quite enough, now.
Comments of "Get a life, you trekkie" and "Move out of your parents' basement" did not receive replies.
Won't somebody please think of the children?
Yeah yeah yeah, I realized it after I submitted, but it's still funny. Let that be a lesson to all you karma whores; if you rush too fast to get a joke out, you'll fsck it up.
One point twenty one gigawatts! er, hertz!
But we did find a match for "Corporate Republic".
"Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus" can be rewritten to "Yes, JonKatz, there really is a post-Columbine Corporate Republic requiring registration of Goths and geeks that's secretly blah blah blah."
And to think, most people need to be abducted and subjected to experiments to be able to make that claim. I guess I'm just gifted.
"Good, bad; I'm the guy with the anal probe."
Three years ago I was in a Dodge Neon that was broadsided by a SUV that ran a red light. I was relatively unhurt except for flying glass; my girlfriend was in a coma for several months.
The people in the SUV possibly bought their car with the intent of surviving a collision. Their concern after the accident was "Our car is damaged. Oh, and those poor people in the other car, I feel bad, but I'll never have to think of them again." Our concern after the accident was "Will Erin die before she can be medevaced, and will she ever walk again."
Not everyone can afford to buy a car with the philosophy "the heavier the better". But someone else's life can be horribly altered or even ended because someone needed an SUV.
(Dramatic? Maybe. Offtopic? Possible. True? Every word.)
In fact, if you stay as predictable as you are, I'll be able to host one hell of a party in just a few weeks, and soon I'll be set for life.
Goth and Evil Corporate Republic references are side bets.
But you probably won't praise me for my math skills right now.
Somehow I feel like Wally and Dilbert correcting a female engineer about her paycheck being 75% of a male engineer's but that men make 33% more, not 25% more.