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User: slowhand

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Comments · 89

  1. I like big boosters! on US Launches Largest Spy Satellite Ever · · Score: 4, Funny

    I like big boosters and I can not lie
    You other brothers can't deny
    That when a rocket flys in with an itty bitty thruster
    And a round thing in your face
    You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
    'Cause you notice that booster was stuffed
    Deep in the propellant she's wearing
    I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
    Oh baby, I wanna get with you
    And take your picture
    My homeboys tried to warn me
    But that booster you got makes me so horny
    Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
    You say you wanna get in my Benz?
    Well, use me, use me
    'Cause you ain't that average groupie
    I've seen them dancin'
    To hell with romancin'
    She's sweat, wet,
    Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
    I'm tired of magazines
    Sayin' flat boosters are the thing
    Take the average black man and ask him that
    She gotta pack much back
    So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
    Has your spacefriend got the booster? (Hell yeah!)
    Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
    Shake that healthy booster!
    Baby got back!

  2. Does no one else see... the Silver Surfer on Giant Guatemalan 'Sinkhole' Is Worse Than We Thought · · Score: 1

    The Silver Surfer in all likelihood created this hole. Investigative journalism, where are you?

  3. Re:They better not go there... on How Wolfram Alpha's Copyright Claims Could Change Software · · Score: 1

    So its true, All ur base ARE belong to us.

  4. Re:Optimum conditions on Football Field-Sized Kite Powers Latest Freighter · · Score: 1

    In other news, automobiles and bicycles should not expect to benefit from coasting on downhill slopes as optimal gravitation doesn't occur in sufficient quantities to propel them up the other side...

  5. Re:Conclusions... on Patterns in Lottery Numbers · · Score: 1

    Reminds me of the guy who did the in-depth analysis... of the numbers on the football teams uniforms. The arithmetic average was N and the standard deviation was S, and the confidence interval was ...

  6. Re:The "U.S".? on Documents Reveal US Incompetence with Word, Iraq · · Score: 1

    Ditto for me! If I had mod points I'd mod down the original for Bozo headline, not meaning to disparage Bozo.
    A little vague handwaving can often save hours of tedious explanation.

  7. Re:65000 is far too many visas on Annual H-1B Visa Cap Met In One Day · · Score: 1

    Yep, You too can be a highly skilled HTML programmer. No money down, in fact I will send YOU a check for the amount of Harvard tuition for 1 year, plus living expenses for 1 year. You may deposit the check, and send me a check for 1/2 of the amount as the class is covered by H-1b Nigerian rebate, so I must use this moneys to reclaim education funds left in limbo after the infamous dance-dance revolution. I'll need a visa number to validate your address, and a susial secutity number to process your application...

  8. Profit!!! on Been Robbed Recently? Check Ebay · · Score: -1, Redundant

    Surely I can't be the 1st to post this here... but (and no I-ANAL for me, thanks),
    1. Steal $hlt
    2. Post it on Eb@y
    3. ??
    4. Profit!!!

    Bonus celebrity coochflash-quote - "I for one, welcome the chance to Overlord-kick some scumbag thief's butt on Ebag."

  9. Re:transport losses? on Solar Cell Achieves 40% Efficiency · · Score: 1
    While the major volcano/meteor event you mentioned could deplete the nuclear buffer, it would do that (and worse) now.
    Exactly, so channel some of this abundant power to our secret meteor-blasting laser beam carrying overlords.
  10. its like this... on NASA Struggles To Contact Lost Mars Probe · · Score: 1

    Opportunity: .. in UR base killin your d00ds...
    Mars Global Surveyor: ...what? huh?

  11. Re:This is news? on 2006 Election Maps Mashups · · Score: 1

    I want royalties for using my concept. I call it "Invention". Its a "meta" sort of thing.

  12. Re:I'm safe, right? on The BBC's Honeypot PC · · Score: 1

    Safe... I can't say. But for a big time saver you should SLIPSTREAM an install CD/DVD which consists of applying service packs and patches to the contents of the original disk, then burning it to a fresh cd. Next load requires no long wait to download SP2 and what patches you've already slipstreamed.

    see http://www.winsupersite.com/showcase/windowsxp_sp2 _slipstream.asp

    Then, you can also use the non-destructive, no reformat rebuild to replace damaged or corrupted files using this method http://www.informationweek.com/LP/showArticle.jhtm l?articleID=189400897&pgno=1&queryText=

  13. Well, back in my day.... on 11-year-old Proves Locks Not So Secure · · Score: 1

    We carved our locks out of mastedon bone, and whittled keys from soon to be petrified wood.

    P.S. - we walked to school uphill both ways, barefoot except for the barbed wire we wrapped around them for traction.

  14. Re:Powerpoint used well on Edward Tufte Talks information Design · · Score: 1

    I was thrilled to attend one of his seminars several years ago. As part of an Enterprise Information Architecture Team (Corporate Data Design ala Wurman, not "HTML Programming") at a major mutual fund management firm, I was really looking forward to utilizing his recommended techniques in presenting our design.
    Those who have attended or read can appreciate my dismay when I sent a draft of my seminar notes to my Proj Mgr who requested I make a PowerPoint of it to present to the CIO.

  15. Snakes on a Space Station... on ISS Construction Resumes · · Score: 1

    ORIGINAL movie idea starring Samuel L. Jackson.
    "Who the f#$( brought these M~+#^~((ng snakes on the M~+#^~((ng Space Station?"
    My script for sale....

  16. In other news... on Perseid Meteor Shower To Peak This Weekend · · Score: 1

    Leonid is predicted to bathe rather than shower next year as above average rainfall has been reported this year.

  17. Re:Missing energy on Moon's Bulge Explained · · Score: 1

    So how did the eccentric orbit become so nearly circular?

    Its got 2 turntables and a microphone...

  18. Re:you know what on Visual Exploration of Complex Networks · · Score: 1

    Can you send and receive "internets" thru these miraculous tubes?

  19. Re:CNN Story is different... on Astronomers Awaiting 1a Supernova · · Score: 1

    Taylor: I'll take the mute girl Nava, and head into the forbidden zone.
    [...]
    Damn them, they've blown it [the star] all to hell...

  20. Vituals horses in Monty Python's "Holy Grail" on An Overview of Virtualization Technologies · · Score: 1

    Horses were cool, coconuts were appropriate technology.

    Those guys were genius - inventing Python way before PCs were common.

  21. We use computers manufactured in Elbonia... on Lenovo Banned by U.S. State Department · · Score: 1

    We use lunar-power cells to run our Elbonian Monolithic Laptops. They're muck-proof!

  22. What I believe happened..... on The World's Deepest Dinosaur · · Score: 1

    Is this is a new species "mole aquaticus reptilicus dinosaurius" which didn't sink, but actually lived and thrived beneath the deep below ocean floor, obtaining energy from volcanic vents, and sustinance from silicone nodules (with a sprinkling of magnesium). They were able to move thru solid material by digesting it and excreting it directly behind them. They still exist in the Washington DC area and are responsible for many policy decisions...

  23. Re:Patents on business methods are stupid. on Netflix Suing Blockbuster for Patent Infringement · · Score: 1

    It has long been said that: Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

    I have patents on Imitation and several forms of Flattery, including Highest Form. Cease and Desist using these immediately. Or contact me regarding licensing...

    1. Patent
    2. Post statements on Slashdot
    3. ?
    4. Profit!

  24. Re:Queerest Ask Slashdot. Evar. on How Does Your Personal Data Center Measure Up? · · Score: 1

    Dammit! Now you've insulted my 440-6bbl Barracuda, my 318 Challenger, my hot spare 440, my old waiting-to-rebuild 440, and my old 318. Plus my hot spare Torqueflite, my old torqueflite, and my spare 4 speed. And my spare 3.55:1 rear! My Hemi will kick your 2.3 liter butt!

  25. Re:NASA just needs more money on NASA Inspector General Under Investigation · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Let me get this straight (speaking as a former NASA contractor). Allegations of waste, inefficiency, SAFETY issues squashed, and purposeful negligence and malpractice by the IG.
    And you'd like to give them more money?
    I prefer the commercial approach where there is some accountability involved. Not trying to trivialize the MANY excellent and hardworking NASA employees, but something serious needs to occur in their management culture. I think this is indicative of the thoughts of many employees. Hold management up for a vote. I bet No Confidence would be the rule of the day!