And call it Production Ready if it crashes more than alpha code. Then release service packs and charge a shitload of money until you're the richest man on the planet. Scoff at the justice system of the puny country that you own. Give to charity often and talk about innovation to try to get the public to like you. Have the audacity to sell something simple for an exorbidant fee, become more feared than the infamous robber barrons.
Repeat every 50 years with the newest forefront of technology. Railroads, Oil, Cars, Telephones, communications, Television, Computers, what next?
Remember: if it breaks often, but not too often, those silly costomers will be begging to buy more. It's called planned obsolecence, get used to it. I like open source, but unfortunately, greed is what will rule the world forever.
And every other idiot IT manager in the world. It's shit like this article that I have to deal with every time I try to convert the back end over to linux or *BSD... same damn shit.
This article is great for windows, and as long as the IT department keeps getting kickbacks from microsoft, windows is here to stay. I'd say fight fire with fire, but the enormous amount of anti-microsoft FUD doesn't seem to hurt them any.
I'd prefer a stuffed TUX doll to a stupid Windows 98(R) mug.
The whole reason I use my computer is to avoid my awful [left handed] writing... I NEED MY KEYBOARD.
A handwriting recognition tablet is a good idea for an add on, but as the primary input device it wont fly for most of us. Sure it's slick, but I think keys are still the quickest way to get data from my brain into the computer.
One of the biggest cults?? Try one of the biggest christian denominations. A worldwide institution with tens of millions of followers hardly qualifies as a cult. You don't have to like it or believe in it, but it would help if you actually knew something about it.
Sorry but mormanizm was more of a millenialist group back in the late 1830's, it's a lot different now. It wouldn't hurt if you did a little research on anything other than pornography.
Hell when I talked to @home with AT&T customer service, and told them I'm running a linux masq gate... not only did she have no idea what I was talking about, but she asked me if I had called linux to see what the problem was.
The problem I was having had nothing to do with linux by the way.
Move quake into the kernel, and linux will become about as secure as windows 95.
bad idea.
While everyone is dream up putting everything in the kernel, why not put a browser in the kernel? Netscape is getting a little slow these day, and mozilla crawls on my system.
The [moving] magnetic field induces a current in the wires. This extra current causes the power companies to shut down the grid in certain areas as a precautionary measure.
Interesting point you bring up about world peace and feeding the masses.
You can thank the space programs of the fifties and sixties for most of the technology today. Space programs stimulate technology which benifits everyone. Even if the mission is to put a stupid flag on the moon or play golf there, the technology that came about has more impact that anything else.
That thing will actually run a dhcp server and give out class A addresses. It acts just like and linux/BSD box that a novice can set up for masq. Try telneting to 10.0.0.1, you can do all sorts of neat things with that little box. I set mine to give out class C's, but then I plug it right into another masq gate. Reason: I made my networks at work and home the same. (as in gateways, ip address for my laptop.) It made things easier.
In other words, you can plug a bunch of machines into your very own subnet, but still only take one ip. Or, I may be wrong and you're dealing with a completely different box/service. My experience is with USWest (worst).
I don't see a relationship between cutting off my own head, and writing a dumb story. I wasn't craving anything as I wrote it.
Seems that people missed the point, (or lack thereof.)
I tried to make it stupid, but I guess I did that too well. Time to give up. Obviously I'm not one of the 1337 trolls, nor do I make fun of their ramblings well.
(A) I was bored, and the current stories lack substance (B) I wrote it in under 10 minutes (C) I was making fun of osm and other trolls, not trying to be like them.
Go ahead and keep up the endless replies, it doesn't matter to me. I might care if I had put more effort into it. I didn't even bother to correct the 25+ spelling errors.
It was dark and rainy, not much unlike any other day in Redmond. The sun had sank below the western horizon not but two hours ago. The mission the night before had been a great success, now the time of reckoning approached. A small army was mounting in the bushes just outside the Microsoft Campus. Security gaurds were too busy sleeping and playing solitaire to notice the shadows moving about just outside the building.
Inside, Bill Gates paces the conference room. "How are the plans?" hisses Steve Balmer. Bill looks up and says "huh?", too busy playing solitaire to notice the fat oaf's dumb question. "The fucking Portman-Petrification project!" bellows the fat ass, the folds of his neck quivering as a rather large droplet of sweat hits the table. "Ah, yes." says Bill, "The GNU Microsoft project to stamp out linux and slashdot forever." The fat ogre nods, "Yes, the time is approaching".
Outside, the small army grows. A small army of slashdot trolls riding GNUs assembles, ready for the command to attack. Penguins quack (?) restlessly amoung the ranks. All they wait for is a leader. Soon, CmdrTaco and General Torvalds will be there. Soon. In the meantime, the army steadily grows in the pale moonlight. They are nervous, but the victory will be theirs.
Bill Gates and Steve Balmer walk down a long corridor deep under the compound, they come to a dirty door with only one word on it: Dungeon. This is where they keep the GIMP, which they secretly use to develop the graphics for all of MSN. But this GIMP is not what they have come here for. Their reasons are far more sinister than that. They go towards the back of the room and through yet another door. Inside lies Natalie Portman. She is completely naked, and chained down to a big wooden table. A big red ball gag fills her mouth, and thick leather cuffs are fastened tightly around her wrists and ankles. Bill and the fat man look upon the teen, with her pouting breasts, and firm buttocks. A sinister laugh builds up deep within the bald man's belly. BUWAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!! Bill remains silent. He thinks to himself, "But will they take the bait?"
Outside, the restless army has grown. Over the hill side they hear the hacking of a GNU. The smell of GNU wafts through the air. CmdrTaco and General Torvalds come riding proudly down the center of the ranks. All becomes silent, as the army anticipates the next move. All of a sudden, a John Katz article is posted to slashdot, this sets the trolls in motion. Instantly, a Beowulf cluster of GNUs, trolls and Penguins demolish most of the front entrance. The security gaurds and most of the marketing department are brought down by endless vats of steaming hot grits dumped upon them, and are trampled to death by the GNUs. This slashdot effect against microsoft brings the army deep within the bowels of the horrible software company. The stench of death, GNUs and hot gritz fills the air. The trolls continue to demolish everything, as the special task force of the slashdot and linux 31337 go deeper into microsoft than anyone has ever gone before.
The low rumble of the grit cannons can be heard down in the sub-dungeon. Bill's upper lip trembles, "What if this doesn't work? We may have underestimated the power of the source." A giant ball of buttery sweat rolls down steve's cheek. "That's bullshit!", the ogre bellows, "We have much more marketing clout than those geeky open source bastards!". Little did he know that Microsofts great and powerful market force was now destroyed by GNUs and hot gritz. Natalie squirmed with pleasure, at the thought of osm comming to rescue her. Where was osm?
The computer screen flickered black. The words "Bill has Natalie!" were all that remained on the screen. osm lifted his head and pulled the piece of pizza off his face, and said "Whoa!". But this wasn't an adventure filled with alice in wonderland or wizard of oz quips, no red or blue pills. osm's real life was like this, for he longed to live in a matrix. Osm got up and went to the closet. He donned his battle uniform. The black trench coat flowed and shimmered in the darkness of the apartment. He quickly grabbed a black catsuit for natalie, and jumped through the microsoft wormhole in his closet. Osm materialised out in front of Microsoft. The destruction before him was amazing, and the dried grits were everywhere. Osm knew that the slashdot trolls have won their noble battle, now it was up to him to close the deal. Osm pulled out two large fragulators and a grit cannon, and entered the building.
The stench was overpowering, Steve Balmer had sweat so much that the whole room smelled like fish. Natalie fought to stay awake despite the awful smell. Bill paced the room, waiting. "When will those pricks get here?" whined bill. "Soon..." said Steve, "they will soon be upon us. And we shall show them the power of closed source." Bill picked up the telephone, and said, "make sure that you have that beowulf cluster of windows 2000 machines up and going!". He then slammed the phone down hard. Just then, a faint rumbling could be heard, the sound grew louder. All of a sudden the door was busted upon with a powerful stream of grits. The grey mess splattered everywhere. Just then osm entered, aimed the grit cannon at Steve Balder. "Any last requests before I dispatch you, you filthy fucker?" osm bellowed at Steve. Baldy spat a giant booger loogie at osm. "That does it!" exclaimed osm, as he set the grit cannon on GNU-petrify. Osm pulled the trigger on the massive weapon, and five hundred pounds of grits flew towards steve at hypersonic speed. He didn't even have time to think, in an instant his clothes were striped off him. The petrification was swift, even considering his size. That was it, there lay Steve Balmer, naked and petrified on the cold damp floor. Osm pulled out his fragulator, and with one swift motion shattered the grit covered corpse into a million shards. He then turned to Bill, and said but one word: "NEXT!"
Just then, CmdrTaco and General Torvalds entered the room, a small army of penguins milled about in the hallway, trashing shit at will. CmdrTaco raised his arm, putting it on osm's shoulder. "You have done good work, for it is the work of the lord." exclaimed Taco. "But your work is done here now, go have your Natalie, for we will take care of this one". Osm put the fragulator down, and looked upon Natalie, and she looked upon him with lustful eyes. A burning sensation was felt in osm's loins as he stared upon the grits covering natalie's tightly restrained body. "Let me take you my dear." whispered osm. "Oh yes!! But PLEASE, DO ME RIGHT HERE!! NOW!!" Yelled Portman. Osm looked back upon Taco and Linus, they nodded and escorted their prisoner out of the room. Osm promptly made sweet love to his dear Natalie for the rest of the weekend. Finally, he let her go. She collapsed in his arms from exaustion. She donned the catsuit, and they were happily married the next morning. Now bondage and domination is a major part of their sex life. And osm no longer had to long for Natalie
Bill Gates awoke on a cold damp floor. Darkness was all around him. The past few days were a blur, and he could remember very little. He heard the sound of machinery humming somewhere in the ceiling. Could this be the geek compound? It was the rival to all that was once Microsoft, but a new giant had emerged. Linux now enjoyed a monopoly now, but it was a good monopoly. Wars had ceased to exist, and the world was now an open source utopia. The transformation was swift, but now all of society had greatly improved in only one week. But Bill would never enjoy this heaven on earth, he would get what was coming to him. All his money was long gone, having been distributed to numerous charities and open source projects. A shifting in the ceiling was heard, a distant noise, perhaps a bubbling sound. All of a sudden, large vents in the ceiling opened, and megatons of hot gritz came pouring down on Bill. As he was slowly being petrified by the grits, six doors came sliding open, and a beowulf cluster of grit-covered linux penguins decended upon him. He slipped out of concousness as the penguins ravenously tore him apart. Bill Gates was dead in about the time it takes to get a first post...
... and the world was now a better place.
Thank you.
-------- Beowulf cluster hot gritz natalie portman linux bomb -- Slashdot must die
Try outrunning the cops, and driving recklessly. I have four felonies on my record thank you very much. I worry about my future engineering degree being virtually worthless.
Call me a spoiled brat.. but when I was in fifth grade, my dad handed me some old mips machine. That thing was about as loud as a truck idling from across the room. At least the two pentiums plus one laptop I have in my room now are very quiet. Quiet enough that my wife doesn't complain about them.
I wouldn't worry about the noise too much, especially since I'll sleep with the radio on. I worry about the heat that those things can generate.
Besides, I was only kidding about the reboot thing, I reboot about once or twice a month for kernel upgrades, etc. and when my laptop hardware gets squirrly.
I just amuse myself at the fact that so many Unix admins flaunt their uptime with a sense of pride. I'll never forget when I was a little kid, convincing my little sister to hit the power button on one of the VAX's my dad had in his closet. I can't remember much, but I bet he was mad for about a month about that one. I notice that now all his machines lack a power button.:)
Talking to little black boxes
on
Linux BIOS
·
· Score: 1
Here at the office, I can talk to Mr. Printer, and Mr. DSL box. They are very friendly since they talk to me via telnet. If only my toaster, microwave, fridge, washer, drier, TV, VCR, and car were as friendly.
Slashdot Mirror
Which one?
I guess that Zaphod could make use of it. No?
And call it Production Ready if it crashes more than alpha code. Then release service packs and charge a shitload of money until you're the richest man on the planet. Scoff at the justice system of the puny country that you own. Give to charity often and talk about innovation to try to get the public to like you. Have the audacity to sell something simple for an exorbidant fee, become more feared than the infamous robber barrons.
Repeat every 50 years with the newest forefront of technology. Railroads, Oil, Cars, Telephones, communications, Television, Computers, what next?
Remember: if it breaks often, but not too often, those silly costomers will be begging to buy more. It's called planned obsolecence, get used to it. I like open source, but unfortunately, greed is what will rule the world forever.
And every other idiot IT manager in the world. It's shit like this article that I have to deal with every time I try to convert the back end over to linux or *BSD... same damn shit.
This article is great for windows, and as long as the IT department keeps getting kickbacks from microsoft, windows is here to stay. I'd say fight fire with fire, but the enormous amount of anti-microsoft FUD doesn't seem to hurt them any.
I'd prefer a stuffed TUX doll to a stupid Windows 98(R) mug.
The whole reason I use my computer is to avoid my awful [left handed] writing... I NEED MY KEYBOARD.
A handwriting recognition tablet is a good idea for an add on, but as the primary input device it wont fly for most of us. Sure it's slick, but I think keys are still the quickest way to get data from my brain into the computer.
7) 10,000 lame trolls
8) 200 replies flaming vladinator
You're obviously quite uneducated.
One of the biggest cults ?? Try one of the biggest christian denominations. A worldwide institution with tens of millions of followers hardly qualifies as a cult. You don't have to like it or believe in it, but it would help if you actually knew something about it.
Sorry but mormanizm was more of a millenialist group back in the late 1830's, it's a lot different now. It wouldn't hurt if you did a little research on anything other than pornography.
Have a nice day Mr. Troll
Offer not valid in UT,
Aw... come on, why not?
I could use use 64 megs of RAM, considering the small army of old pentiums I'm dealing with here.
... and I'll put it in my closet. It couldn't be much worse than having a few VAXes in there.
Hell when I talked to @home with AT&T customer service, and told them I'm running a linux masq gate... not only did she have no idea what I was talking about, but she asked me if I had called linux to see what the problem was.
The problem I was having had nothing to do with linux by the way.
How do you call linux??
... would be more interesting if it was a pegboard WEBSERVER.
Looks kind of like my email server, except for the harddrive windows (!) and the pegboard.
Move quake into the kernel, and linux will become about as secure as windows 95.
bad idea.
While everyone is dream up putting everything in the kernel, why not put a browser in the kernel? Netscape is getting a little slow these day, and mozilla crawls on my system.
I stayed awake in physics..
The [moving] magnetic field induces a current in the wires. This extra current causes the power companies to shut down the grid in certain areas as a precautionary measure.
Interesting point you bring up about world peace and feeding the masses.
You can thank the space programs of the fifties and sixties for most of the technology today. Space programs stimulate technology which benifits everyone. Even if the mission is to put a stupid flag on the moon or play golf there, the technology that came about has more impact that anything else.
So which is it? More technology or more welfare?
Is your external "modem" box a Cisco 675?
That thing will actually run a dhcp server and give out class A addresses. It acts just like and linux/BSD box that a novice can set up for masq. Try telneting to 10.0.0.1, you can do all sorts of neat things with that little box. I set mine to give out class C's, but then I plug it right into another masq gate. Reason: I made my networks at work and home the same. (as in gateways, ip address for my laptop.) It made things easier.
In other words, you can plug a bunch of machines into your very own subnet, but still only take one ip. Or, I may be wrong and you're dealing with a completely different box/service. My experience is with USWest (worst).
Doing any "osm type" stories will get all the 31337 TR0LLS really pissed off. Especially if you're a "linux zealot".
haha - what a joke.
Making fun of something is a lot different than ripping it off.
You must be a lifetime member of PETA, judging by your attitude.
And you most likely did not even read it.
I don't see a relationship between cutting off my own head, and writing a dumb story. I wasn't craving anything as I wrote it.
Seems that people missed the point, (or lack thereof.)
I tried to make it stupid, but I guess I did that too well. Time to give up. Obviously I'm not one of the 1337 trolls, nor do I make fun of their ramblings well.
but it is generating replies, so someone must notice it.
See my reply to your anonymous friend.
And you are unclear of the point.
(A) I was bored, and the current stories lack substance
(B) I wrote it in under 10 minutes
(C) I was making fun of osm and other trolls, not trying to be like them.
Go ahead and keep up the endless replies, it doesn't matter to me. I might care if I had put more effort into it. I didn't even bother to correct the 25+ spelling errors.
It was dark and rainy, not much unlike any other day in Redmond. The sun had sank below the western horizon not but two hours ago. The mission the night before had been a great success, now the time of reckoning approached. A small army was mounting in the bushes just outside the Microsoft Campus. Security gaurds were too busy sleeping and playing solitaire to notice the shadows moving about just outside the building.
... and the world was now a better place.
Inside, Bill Gates paces the conference room. "How are the plans?" hisses Steve Balmer. Bill looks up and says "huh?", too busy playing solitaire to notice the fat oaf's dumb question. "The fucking Portman-Petrification project!" bellows the fat ass, the folds of his neck quivering as a rather large droplet of sweat hits the table. "Ah, yes." says Bill, "The GNU Microsoft project to stamp out linux and slashdot forever." The fat ogre nods, "Yes, the time is approaching".
Outside, the small army grows. A small army of slashdot trolls riding GNUs assembles, ready for the command to attack. Penguins quack (?) restlessly amoung the ranks. All they wait for is a leader. Soon, CmdrTaco and General Torvalds will be there. Soon. In the meantime, the army steadily grows in the pale moonlight. They are nervous, but the victory will be theirs.
Bill Gates and Steve Balmer walk down a long corridor deep under the compound, they come to a dirty door with only one word on it: Dungeon. This is where they keep the GIMP, which they secretly use to develop the graphics for all of MSN. But this GIMP is not what they have come here for. Their reasons are far more sinister than that. They go towards the back of the room and through yet another door. Inside lies Natalie Portman. She is completely naked, and chained down to a big wooden table. A big red ball gag fills her mouth, and thick leather cuffs are fastened tightly around her wrists and ankles. Bill and the fat man look upon the teen, with her pouting breasts, and firm buttocks. A sinister laugh builds up deep within the bald man's belly. BUWAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!! Bill remains silent. He thinks to himself, "But will they take the bait?"
Outside, the restless army has grown. Over the hill side they hear the hacking of a GNU. The smell of GNU wafts through the air. CmdrTaco and General Torvalds come riding proudly down the center of the ranks. All becomes silent, as the army anticipates the next move. All of a sudden, a John Katz article is posted to slashdot, this sets the trolls in motion. Instantly, a Beowulf cluster of GNUs, trolls and Penguins demolish most of the front entrance. The security gaurds and most of the marketing department are brought down by endless vats of steaming hot grits dumped upon them, and are trampled to death by the GNUs. This slashdot effect against microsoft brings the army deep within the bowels of the horrible software company. The stench of death, GNUs and hot gritz fills the air. The trolls continue to demolish everything, as the special task force of the slashdot and linux 31337 go deeper into microsoft than anyone has ever gone before.
The low rumble of the grit cannons can be heard down in the sub-dungeon. Bill's upper lip trembles, "What if this doesn't work? We may have underestimated the power of the source." A giant ball of buttery sweat rolls down steve's cheek. "That's bullshit!", the ogre bellows, "We have much more marketing clout than those geeky open source bastards!". Little did he know that Microsofts great and powerful market force was now destroyed by GNUs and hot gritz. Natalie squirmed with pleasure, at the thought of osm comming to rescue her. Where was osm?
The computer screen flickered black. The words "Bill has Natalie!" were all that remained on the screen. osm lifted his head and pulled the piece of pizza off his face, and said "Whoa!". But this wasn't an adventure filled with alice in wonderland or wizard of oz quips, no red or blue pills. osm's real life was like this, for he longed to live in a matrix. Osm got up and went to the closet. He donned his battle uniform. The black trench coat flowed and shimmered in the darkness of the apartment. He quickly grabbed a black catsuit for natalie, and jumped through the microsoft wormhole in his closet. Osm materialised out in front of Microsoft. The destruction before him was amazing, and the dried grits were everywhere. Osm knew that the slashdot trolls have won their noble battle, now it was up to him to close the deal. Osm pulled out two large fragulators and a grit cannon, and entered the building.
The stench was overpowering, Steve Balmer had sweat so much that the whole room smelled like fish. Natalie fought to stay awake despite the awful smell. Bill paced the room, waiting. "When will those pricks get here?" whined bill. "Soon..." said Steve, "they will soon be upon us. And we shall show them the power of closed source." Bill picked up the telephone, and said, "make sure that you have that beowulf cluster of windows 2000 machines up and going!". He then slammed the phone down hard. Just then, a faint rumbling could be heard, the sound grew louder. All of a sudden the door was busted upon with a powerful stream of grits. The grey mess splattered everywhere. Just then osm entered, aimed the grit cannon at Steve Balder. "Any last requests before I dispatch you, you filthy fucker?" osm bellowed at Steve. Baldy spat a giant booger loogie at osm. "That does it!" exclaimed osm, as he set the grit cannon on GNU-petrify. Osm pulled the trigger on the massive weapon, and five hundred pounds of grits flew towards steve at hypersonic speed. He didn't even have time to think, in an instant his clothes were striped off him. The petrification was swift, even considering his size. That was it, there lay Steve Balmer, naked and petrified on the cold damp floor. Osm pulled out his fragulator, and with one swift motion shattered the grit covered corpse into a million shards. He then turned to Bill, and said but one word: "NEXT!"
Just then, CmdrTaco and General Torvalds entered the room, a small army of penguins milled about in the hallway, trashing shit at will. CmdrTaco raised his arm, putting it on osm's shoulder. "You have done good work, for it is the work of the lord." exclaimed Taco. "But your work is done here now, go have your Natalie, for we will take care of this one". Osm put the fragulator down, and looked upon Natalie, and she looked upon him with lustful eyes. A burning sensation was felt in osm's loins as he stared upon the grits covering natalie's tightly restrained body. "Let me take you my dear." whispered osm. "Oh yes!! But PLEASE, DO ME RIGHT HERE!! NOW!!" Yelled Portman. Osm looked back upon Taco and Linus, they nodded and escorted their prisoner out of the room. Osm promptly made sweet love to his dear Natalie for the rest of the weekend. Finally, he let her go. She collapsed in his arms from exaustion. She donned the catsuit, and they were happily married the next morning. Now bondage and domination is a major part of their sex life. And osm no longer had to long for Natalie
Bill Gates awoke on a cold damp floor. Darkness was all around him. The past few days were a blur, and he could remember very little. He heard the sound of machinery humming somewhere in the ceiling. Could this be the geek compound? It was the rival to all that was once Microsoft, but a new giant had emerged. Linux now enjoyed a monopoly now, but it was a good monopoly. Wars had ceased to exist, and the world was now an open source utopia. The transformation was swift, but now all of society had greatly improved in only one week. But Bill would never enjoy this heaven on earth, he would get what was coming to him. All his money was long gone, having been distributed to numerous charities and open source projects. A shifting in the ceiling was heard, a distant noise, perhaps a bubbling sound. All of a sudden, large vents in the ceiling opened, and megatons of hot gritz came pouring down on Bill. As he was slowly being petrified by the grits, six doors came sliding open, and a beowulf cluster of grit-covered linux penguins decended upon him. He slipped out of concousness as the penguins ravenously tore him apart. Bill Gates was dead in about the time it takes to get a first post...
Thank you.
--------
Beowulf cluster hot gritz natalie portman linux bomb
-- Slashdot must die
But it's a good troll, please moderate it up!
Try outrunning the cops, and driving recklessly. I have four felonies on my record thank you very much. I worry about my future engineering degree being virtually worthless.
Call me a spoiled brat.. but when I was in fifth grade, my dad handed me some old mips machine. That thing was about as loud as a truck idling from across the room. At least the two pentiums plus one laptop I have in my room now are very quiet. Quiet enough that my wife doesn't complain about them.
:)
I wouldn't worry about the noise too much, especially since I'll sleep with the radio on. I worry about the heat that those things can generate.
Besides, I was only kidding about the reboot thing, I reboot about once or twice a month for kernel upgrades, etc. and when my laptop hardware gets squirrly.
I just amuse myself at the fact that so many Unix admins flaunt their uptime with a sense of pride. I'll never forget when I was a little kid, convincing my little sister to hit the power button on one of the VAX's my dad had in his closet. I can't remember much, but I bet he was mad for about a month about that one. I notice that now all his machines lack a power button.
Here at the office, I can talk to Mr. Printer, and Mr. DSL box. They are very friendly since they talk to me via telnet. If only my toaster, microwave, fridge, washer, drier, TV, VCR, and car were as friendly.