I sure as hell don't need my gigabyte-size files encrypted to go 50 feet across the LAN!
color me stupid (forever to enter the acronym game as CMS), but if you're on a LAN, what do you need to worry about? Someone in your office is sniffing your packets? And isn't it technically their right, being that it's a work environment?
Your passwd isnt flying out to the internet, and if you're worried about bandwidth, I assume you're not flinging this thing wirelessly.
- Thou shalt not tell my child they are anything other than special and above average. Not giving them praise for waiting until they are 15 to learn basic mathematics will not be tolerated, and you will be sued.
- Thou shalt not challenge my child in any way. IF you give my child an "F" for not turning in any of his schoolwork, you will be sued.
- Thou shalt not make my child exert themselves. Making tests difficult and/or full of questions in which they have to apply knowledge ti discover an answer will get you labeled racist, or ageist, or whatever term we can think of. We will use this term in the lawsuit.
- Thou shalt give unto my child all they want. My child does not eat healthy foods, you will supply them mwith whatever junk food they want, when they want it. Attemptign to get them to burn off these wasted meals in gym class will get you sued for harrassment.
- Thou shalt not expect me to raise my child, that's why I pay property taxes and send my child to school; unless I have a good tax attorney, in which case I will find a way to NOT pay my taxes.
- Thou shalt not make my child carry textbooks. You will make textbooks lighter, or I will buy them a rediculous rolling carryon luggage thing as to not force them to exert themselves by actually carrying their textbooks. A guy on TV said backpacks will hurt them. If my kid gets a sore muscle, I'll sue.
- Thou shalt not be told what I want you to do in raising our childern for us. You should know these things as professional educators, I should not have to be involved with their upbringing; but if I don't like it, I'll sue.
- Thou shal be given the responsibility of raising our children, then be striped of any and all power to do so. These are our children, and we can sue.
- Nothing that happens involving my child is their fault. My little angel would never do that, so it must be something you did to them - like not raise them properly, which is now YOUR job. You will hear form my lawyer soon.
I realise this doesn't apply to all parents. I know good parents, and their kids are a joy, well behaved, and know their place.
[rambling rant]
This article and string of posts brings something else to mind...
We all have one friend or another that insists on forwarding stupid shit to us incessantly, and for whatever reason we DON'T grind them into dirt for doing it. On rare occations, onf of these forwards will not be total shit and provide an interesting read. You all tnkw the one I'm getting to:
"By modern logic, we should have all been killed during our childhood long ago"
Then it goes on to describe things most of us have done as children, chronicling all the stuff we'd make each other eat ("I dont know if its dog doo... I'll give you $5 to eat it! C'mon you fairy, eat it!... SO what did it taste like? gimme that!"), shit we pulled that these days would be a national scandal ("RUFFIANS BURN ITEMS IN CORNFIELD! LOCAL ECOLOGY THREATENED!"), acts of daring-do we'd commit on our undestructible 75 pound all-steel bicycles (the best daring-do being "why can't WE play demo-derby with our bikes! Just try not to hit each other's legs.")
Our parents? Not only did they not konw we did this stuff, but when they found out about them were more agitated the adult that busted us didnt punish us IMMEDIATELY in addition to the ass-whomping they were about to inflict on us.
How many of us built science projects with your old man involving semi-poorly wired items built with tools that sould rip large hunks of flesh off of you?
How many of you had parents what worked in the garage on vehicles, hurt yourself while "watching" (read: fucking around) and were then told "See? This is why I told you not to goof around in here"
Parents today have pretty much lost all touch with reality as we know it. Completely. Americans are going soft and allowing themselves to be scared by
Multiple monitors, placed properly, will also radiate your whole face and head evenly and give you that even 16-hour-run pallor (with evenly redened eyes) that the ladies really go for.
I will attempt to write a more "legal" sounding agreement, and do a service like that too. I may like spam after all.
I know this is a "me too!" post, but you may wanna make sure we can all get our hands on it. I know I'd like to get a copy of it on my contact page, with a rider stating that I have the option of charging ANYONE for the time taken to read their email, with the option of waving the fee.
Then, of course, it'll only take one Judge who still has manual typwriter to declare them all moot.
Well OF COURSE Amazon has to come out and try to build a search engine to compete with Google.
They're a corporation, after all. This was to be expected.
See, the Corporate Life Cycle has very few stages:
Employees with ideas get together and file paperwork. Corporation comes kicking and screaming from the womb of paper declaring that it is a legal entity, quite often having legal residence in the state of Deleware.
Most Corporations don't evet get past this stage, being a favorite tasty fat prey of The Government, Lawyers, Bigger Corporations, and Software Salesmen. These cute little guys are eaten up by the big bad world and digested. Their employees are either excreted onto the ground, ready to start the proces anew, or absorbed and become part of the Predator.
Those that live get to a happy place where they're scraping by, but still and often these adolescents even play together.
But like all adolescents, they become embittered. Maybe that retail chain with the cute ass started dating the Beefy Sports Franchise with the rich founders, who konws? But it almost always happens. The corporation gets bigger and suddenly develops an attitude problem.
People who could previously talk honestly with each other so things get done are now sending notes about each other to the new secretary with the big titties and then leaking to the rest of the company the other guy is trying to get into her pants - he doesnt deserve a raise! People get fired over giving honest opinions that could get our now more worldly corporation sued, and goddamnit its got hundreds of little shareholder mouths to feed.
"Waitaminute," the Corporation realises, "I'm not making ALL THE MONEY!
GODDAMNIT!"
"But Corporation, you are doing fine right now. You make money and pey people and maybe svsn save a lit-"
"SHUT UP! Fuck You! You're Fired!
MUST. HAVE. ALL. THE. MONEY!
NO OTHER CORPORATION CAN EXIST!
Can I buy those guys? What? NO? You're fired, too!
I dont fucking care who we have to bribe, fuck, or fuck over! I want THEIR BUSINESS!
WAAAAAAH! I WANT ALL THE MONEY!!!!! WAAAAAAH!!!!"
----
Okay, so I think corporations suck, but this is what they do.
None of us should be surprised that an online retailer has suddenly decided that a mostly unrelated business is mow a mortal enemy to be competed with.
The bill would instead prohibit a person or entity located in California from initiating or advertising in unsolicited commercial e-mail advertisements.
This could be interpreted to mean that no matter where they actually send the mail from, they're affected by the law as long as they have a Nexus in California somewhere. (A nexus being a place where they conduct any portion of their business from, if I understand it correctly.)
That fact alone will hopefully cause some of the scum sending this crap to move out of the state and live somewhere else.
If we're REALLY lucky, they'll all move to the Deep South.
Y'all boys aren't from around here, are yuh?
If the law proves to be successful, other states will follow suit with their own penalties. The aforementioned Deep South eventually not only catching up but outdoing everyone by legalizing the lynching of spammers.
Im sure you can find out how to edit.htaccess using Google, but one of the fun bits of script driven websites is doing stuff like this:
<?php if (eregi("aol",$HTTP_USER_AGENT)) {
header("Location: http://www.slappyjack.com/screwAOL/index.htm");
exit; } php?>
The same type of code also is used to add curse filled messages to WebTV users because, quite frankly, they deserve it.
The benefit of this is I could tell my non-computer savvy family that used AOL is that they could simply use a downloaded version of Netscape or Mozilla or whatever and they could get through.
You can also roughly figgure out the IP blocks AOL uses and block those via.htaccess or write a little thing that does things to users depending on where they come from.
(If someone takes the time to find them out, i'd love to know what they are)
AOL. Let them choke themselves to death and take the unwilling to learn with them. I hate them all.
Who the fuck is this Eula and why does he keep making us agree to stuff?"
I just wanna email my kid at college, since the little bastard never calls anymore!"
Really. I can't think of the last time I've even bothered to read the EULA on anything. Its long, boring, and is written in lawyerspeak that makes me bleed from my eyes and seethe with hatred from just glancing at the damn thing.
Who really want's to actually read a codument that says, in basic terms: - We're letting you use this. - You have no rights. - If you have this software installed and do something we don't like, we'll sue you.
Nice, guys. Thanks a fucking lot. I give you $40/90/180/26,000 to buy a hunk of software and you try to shove a stick in my ass at the first opportunity.
>> So save your money from suing people and spend it >> on advertising, appealing to people's sense of >> right and wrong.
Please tell me you're kidding. The last thing this planet needs are more fucking advertisements.
The Movie studios also have the option of: - Not spending big gobs of money producing the same old crap over and over again because they've gotten the unwashed masses to beleive that because the early adopter unwashed masses spent the most money on seeing this hunk of flaming dogshit really does make it America's Number one Movie!
--OR--
If a $100 million dollar budget wasnt broken down by roughly:
50% Marketing, Advertising, focus audiences
20-25% Lead actors' salaries
4-6% supporting actors' salaries
(maybe 7% if aging/up-and-coming starlet shows boobs, 8% for a fuck scene)
10% Excplosions & car chases
5% Catering
10% Crew
0.00000001% Script Writing and Development
And things were JUST SCALED DOWN A BIT, there wouldnt be so much money to lose
--OR--
Marketing would not be needed to suck a degree IF YOU DIDNT MAKE SUCH CRAP!!!
Record Studios have the option of: - Not giving advances to every 15 year old with a workable set of pipes and a sweet rack (yet have never played an instrument or written a song in their lives) and producing their next 3 albums of bubblegum junk.
and then having the gall to sell them for $20 a pop.
---AND---
Trying to get sympathy with one hand while the other is squeezing the testicles of the artists for every drop of blood they can extract
(We're ALL at fault for this. Letting these companies get this big and bloated is a direct result of us saying - adn KNOWING AS TRUTH - "God, why does most media fucking SUCKS ASS these days" and yet still we get together with our buddies, suck back a few beers and go see "Freddy -vs- Jason"
I did it. I'm guilty, and I'm not alone)
maybe I'm just angry. maybe THERES JUST TOO MUCH CRAP BEING FOISTED ON THE WORLD AND WERE SICK OF PAYING TO SORT THROUGH IT YOU FUCKING GREEDY FUCKERS!!!
>> 40kb/sec download of the software. Exactly what >> kind of net pipes do they have running into >> Jenin? Maybe download.es5.com is located >> somewhere else...
WAS 40KB/sec, until slashdotters started to ganghump the server, not that that's a bad thing.
I hope this thing doesn't rip the ass out of my machine....
> Most computer owners cannot be expected to know > how to troubleshoot their computer, just as most > car owners do not know how to troubleshoot their > car.
While this point is entirely valid and I agree with it whole heartedly, the main issue with tech support and people who complain abuot it being shitty is not that the techs expect all users to be computer experts (which, unfortunately, many of them do) but the users expect techs to be complete technical wizards with limitless powers.
People have some to learn over the years that:
A) I car try to fix my car, but if I fuck it up i suddenly have two or three thousand pounds of inert metal in my driveway that I cannot move
B) It would be much safer if I went to a mechanic and let them rake me over the coals to do whatever because I need my goddamn car to get shit done.
(of course, many of us have avoided the situation entirely by living in a Urban area and getting a bus pass, which costs about a third of what insurance alone will cost you, but I digress...)
People have been been conditioned to know what to expect in the user-machine-technician experience when it comes to cars. Similarly with Furnaces, plumbing, Electrical wiring, and a million other tasks that are considered "skilled trades"
Personal Computers for Everybody Even if You Don't Need One are still a pretty new thing, (a market expanded by heavy hitting marketing and the need greedy suit bastards have to make all the money before the other greedy suit does) and noone knows what to expect from it, much less be conditioned to consider what a PC tech does as skilled.
"Why should we consider these people skilled?" users think. "My fucking neighbors 12 year old does this shit all the time, gettin up there on that internet thing and downloading the emails and click, click, clicking his homework to his teachers!"
The automotive repair industry does have the edge there, in that people expect to be bringing their cars to a guy who's typically a little dirty, kinda scrungy, and looks like he wouldn't mind putting that pneumatic wrench up against the side of your head if you give him any lip. This commands a little respect. Merge this with the inherent need people have for their cars and you got a user group that will do ANYTHING to not make waves.
Compare this to the stereotypical vision of the computer tech: nerd, glasses (probably taped somewhere), pasty and out of shape. Never had a date in his life.
Not the most fearsome opponent, and on top of that you're on the phone with him, so you're safe in your house - safe enough to pretend youre a big man. Plus, "What the fuck do I care, I got along for years without one of these fucking dookickey box things and godDAMNIT I just wanna get my webcam working so I can netmeeting some two-way porn with Shav3dPuzzie69, and this stupid little TV with adn EXTRA BOX that just makes noise on my DESK that the manufacturers are pretty much GIVING AWAY to me just doesn't know what to do!"
The ability to dail 11 digits on your phone and instantly have someone there for free to help you is VASTLY different from having to leave your house and go someplace else and hope this guy can take care of you so you don't miss the reruns of Friends ar 5.30 and 6.30 nightly on your local UPN affiliate. It is very empowering and gives otherwise meek people large, brass, balls.
[ One thing to remember here: while people LOVE the car-computer analogy because they understand cars are complex and mysterious, its actually a bad thing to do because it gives the sense that like a car, a computer can be used only to do one thing.
Of course not true. When cars can not only transport stuff from point A to point B, but do many other tasks, often at the same time, then that may make sense. People would have to get used to taking their car to different people depending on whats wrong with their car.]
Do you folks remember "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood"? Of course you do.
One of the closest things the 'Land of Make Believe' had to a "bad guy" was this annoying dude who had this book. In the book he would draw pictures of all of the things that were his.
Whenever he would see something he wanted, he would sit down, and draw it in his book, even it it wasn't his.
Then he'd run around yelling, "THAT'S MINE! SEE! IT'S IN MY BOOK! IT BELONGS TO ME! MINE!!!"
SCO, this is what YOU are behaving like.
Just because you have some code in your book that looks like ours, that doesn't mean its yours.
I worked for a guy who was a complete Jakob worshipper.
"CANT YA MAKE IT NOT SCROLL!"
no.
"ALL IMAGES SHOULD LINK TO SOMETHING! PEOPLE EXPECT THAT!"
what people?
"NO, NO, THE HPYERTEXT SHOULD NOT BE THE SENTENCE MAKING THE POINT, IT SHOULD BE THE "CLICK HERE" LINK WE GIVE THEM AFTER THE POPINT!"
because the average lemming doesnt understand that ANY of the pretty blue text will be a link. Nobody wants to teach anyone enything, because it might prevent them from making a buck somewhere.
"CANT YA FORCE IS SO WHEN THEY TURN THEIR TEXT FONT ALL THE WAY UP IT'LL STILL LOOK THE SAME?!?!?!?"
No.
"WHY SONT ALL THEM THINGS ON THE RIGHT LINE UP ALL THE TIME?!?!?!"
It's HTML, you dick. You want everything to line up, make a magazine with Quark and stop bothering me
> Soon , how well we're doing on The Sims Online > will be a major factor in job interviews.
Please god I hope not. I don't think I've managed to get one of those little fuckers a decent couch before I get so bored I let them starve to death.
The Sims.
I mean, really.
Fish are cheaper than a copy of The Sims, and less irritating. Want your kids to learn social interaction from The Sims? You're a bad parent.
At the very least learn them some good micromanagment under time constraint with a little Homeworld or maybe some nice Starcraft. Get them ready for President Jenna Bush (coming in 2020!) and HER approval-numbers-boosting war against whatever country full of non-white people hasn't been assimilated by America(R) yet.
The Sims.
Jesus H Christ.
Give your daughter a fucking barbie and put the remaining $25 into a college fund so she can afford a couple extra pencils during her first week of college.
Slashdot Mirror
I sure as hell don't need my gigabyte-size files encrypted to go 50 feet across the LAN!
color me stupid (forever to enter the acronym game as CMS), but if you're on a LAN, what do you need to worry about? Someone in your office is sniffing your packets? And isn't it technically their right, being that it's a work environment?
Your passwd isnt flying out to the internet, and if you're worried about bandwidth, I assume you're not flinging this thing wirelessly.
IJS... (I'm just sayin')
Mrcbids... I... think... I think... I THINK I LOVE YOU!
[commence votedown]
New Commandments of the Modern American Parent:
... SO what did it taste like? gimme that!"), shit we pulled that these days would be a national scandal ("RUFFIANS BURN ITEMS IN CORNFIELD! LOCAL ECOLOGY THREATENED!"), acts of daring-do we'd commit on our undestructible 75 pound all-steel bicycles (the best daring-do being "why can't WE play demo-derby with our bikes! Just try not to hit each other's legs.")
- Thou shalt not tell my child they are anything other than special and above average. Not giving them praise for waiting until they are 15 to learn basic mathematics will not be tolerated, and you will be sued.
- Thou shalt not challenge my child in any way. IF you give my child an "F" for not turning in any of his schoolwork, you will be sued.
- Thou shalt not make my child exert themselves. Making tests difficult and/or full of questions in which they have to apply knowledge ti discover an answer will get you labeled racist, or ageist, or whatever term we can think of. We will use this term in the lawsuit.
- Thou shalt give unto my child all they want. My child does not eat healthy foods, you will supply them mwith whatever junk food they want, when they want it. Attemptign to get them to burn off these wasted meals in gym class will get you sued for harrassment.
- Thou shalt not expect me to raise my child, that's why I pay property taxes and send my child to school; unless I have a good tax attorney, in which case I will find a way to NOT pay my taxes.
- Thou shalt not make my child carry textbooks. You will make textbooks lighter, or I will buy them a rediculous rolling carryon luggage thing as to not force them to exert themselves by actually carrying their textbooks. A guy on TV said backpacks will hurt them. If my kid gets a sore muscle, I'll sue.
- Thou shalt not be told what I want you to do in raising our childern for us. You should know these things as professional educators, I should not have to be involved with their upbringing; but if I don't like it, I'll sue.
- Thou shal be given the responsibility of raising our children, then be striped of any and all power to do so. These are our children, and we can sue.
- Nothing that happens involving my child is their fault. My little angel would never do that, so it must be something you did to them - like not raise them properly, which is now YOUR job. You will hear form my lawyer soon.
I realise this doesn't apply to all parents. I know good parents, and their kids are a joy, well behaved, and know their place.
[rambling rant]
This article and string of posts brings something else to mind...
We all have one friend or another that insists on forwarding stupid shit to us incessantly, and for whatever reason we DON'T grind them into dirt for doing it. On rare occations, onf of these forwards will not be total shit and provide an interesting read. You all tnkw the one I'm getting to:
"By modern logic, we should have all been killed during our childhood long ago"
Then it goes on to describe things most of us have done as children, chronicling all the stuff we'd make each other eat ("I dont know if its dog doo... I'll give you $5 to eat it! C'mon you fairy, eat it!
Our parents? Not only did they not konw we did this stuff, but when they found out about them were more agitated the adult that busted us didnt punish us IMMEDIATELY in addition to the ass-whomping they were about to inflict on us.
How many of us built science projects with your old man involving semi-poorly wired items built with tools that sould rip large hunks of flesh off of you?
How many of you had parents what worked in the garage on vehicles, hurt yourself while "watching" (read: fucking around) and were then told "See? This is why I told you not to goof around in here"
Parents today have pretty much lost all touch with reality as we know it. Completely. Americans are going soft and allowing themselves to be scared by
Multiple monitors, placed properly, will also radiate your whole face and head evenly and give you that even 16-hour-run pallor (with evenly redened eyes) that the ladies really go for.
I will attempt to write a more "legal" sounding agreement, and do a service like that too. I may like spam after all.
I know this is a "me too!" post, but you may wanna make sure we can all get our hands on it. I know I'd like to get a copy of it on my contact page, with a rider stating that I have the option of charging ANYONE for the time taken to read their email, with the option of waving the fee.
Then, of course, it'll only take one Judge who still has manual typwriter to declare them all moot.
...prime material for Kevin Costner's next magnum.
Lets just hope Andy Markley doesn't have an accent that Costner will have to hold [or not] for the entire film.
Well OF COURSE Amazon has to come out and try to build a search engine to compete with Google.
They're a corporation, after all. This was to be expected.
See, the Corporate Life Cycle has very few stages:
Employees with ideas get together and file paperwork. Corporation comes kicking and screaming from the womb of paper declaring that it is a legal entity, quite often having legal residence in the state of Deleware.
Most Corporations don't evet get past this stage, being a favorite tasty fat prey of The Government, Lawyers, Bigger Corporations, and Software Salesmen. These cute little guys are eaten up by the big bad world and digested. Their employees are either excreted onto the ground, ready to start the proces anew, or absorbed and become part of the Predator.
Those that live get to a happy place where they're scraping by, but still and often these adolescents even play together.
But like all adolescents, they become embittered. Maybe that retail chain with the cute ass started dating the Beefy Sports Franchise with the rich founders, who konws? But it almost always happens. The corporation gets bigger and suddenly develops an attitude problem.
People who could previously talk honestly with each other so things get done are now sending notes about each other to the new secretary with the big titties and then leaking to the rest of the company the other guy is trying to get into her pants - he doesnt deserve a raise! People get fired over giving honest opinions that could get our now more worldly corporation sued, and goddamnit its got hundreds of little shareholder mouths to feed.
"Waitaminute," the Corporation realises, "I'm not making ALL THE MONEY!
GODDAMNIT!"
"But Corporation, you are doing fine right now. You make money and pey people and maybe svsn save a lit-"
"SHUT UP! Fuck You! You're Fired!
MUST.
HAVE.
ALL.
THE.
MONEY!
NO OTHER CORPORATION CAN EXIST!
Can I buy those guys? What? NO? You're fired, too!
I dont fucking care who we have to bribe, fuck, or fuck over! I want THEIR BUSINESS!
WAAAAAAH! I WANT ALL THE MONEY!!!!! WAAAAAAH!!!!"
----
Okay, so I think corporations suck, but this is what they do.
None of us should be surprised that an online retailer has suddenly decided that a mostly unrelated business is mow a mortal enemy to be competed with.
fuckers. I hope this causes them to fold in half.
I would think so. the law linked above says:This could be interpreted to mean that no matter where they actually send the mail from, they're affected by the law as long as they have a Nexus in California somewhere. (A nexus being a place where they conduct any portion of their business from, if I understand it correctly.)
That fact alone will hopefully cause some of the scum sending this crap to move out of the state and live somewhere else.
If we're REALLY lucky, they'll all move to the Deep South.
Y'all boys aren't from around here, are yuh?
If the law proves to be successful, other states will follow suit with their own penalties. The aforementioned Deep South eventually not only catching up but outdoing everyone by legalizing the lynching of spammers.
ah, a man can dream...
Im sure you can find out how to edit .htaccess using Google, but one of the fun bits of script driven websites is doing stuff like this:
.htaccess or write a little thing that does things to users depending on where they come from.
<?php
if (eregi("aol",$HTTP_USER_AGENT)) {
header("Location: http://www.slappyjack.com/screwAOL/index.htm");
exit;
}
php?>
The same type of code also is used to add curse filled messages to WebTV users because, quite frankly, they deserve it.
The benefit of this is I could tell my non-computer savvy family that used AOL is that they could simply use a downloaded version of Netscape or Mozilla or whatever and they could get through.
You can also roughly figgure out the IP blocks AOL uses and block those via
(If someone takes the time to find them out, i'd love to know what they are)
AOL. Let them choke themselves to death and take the unwilling to learn with them. I hate them all.
"Eula?"
Who the fuck is this Eula and why does he keep making us agree to stuff?"
I just wanna email my kid at college, since the little bastard never calls anymore!"
Really. I can't think of the last time I've even bothered to read the EULA on anything. Its long, boring, and is written in lawyerspeak that makes me bleed from my eyes and seethe with hatred from just glancing at the damn thing.
Who really want's to actually read a codument that says, in basic terms:
- We're letting you use this.
- You have no rights.
- If you have this software installed and do something we don't like, we'll sue you.
Nice, guys. Thanks a fucking lot. I give you $40/90/180/26,000 to buy a hunk of software and you try to shove a stick in my ass at the first opportunity.
I'm going back to building cabinets for a living.
I just wanted to chime in with the fact that I LOVED Space: Above and Beyond
It was cool, whereas i am not.
Thank the Lord SciFi occationally reruns it.
>> So save your money from suing people and spend it
:AJISF "ASNDfa sdf.....
>> on advertising, appealing to people's sense of
>> right and wrong.
Please tell me you're kidding. The last thing this planet needs are more fucking advertisements.
The Movie studios also have the option of:
- Not spending big gobs of money producing the same old crap over and over again because they've gotten the unwashed masses to beleive that because the early adopter unwashed masses spent the most money on seeing this hunk of flaming dogshit really does make it America's Number one Movie!
--OR--
If a $100 million dollar budget wasnt broken down by roughly:
50% Marketing, Advertising, focus audiences
20-25% Lead actors' salaries
4-6% supporting actors' salaries
(maybe 7% if aging/up-and-coming starlet shows boobs, 8% for a fuck scene)
10% Excplosions & car chases
5% Catering
10% Crew
0.00000001% Script Writing and Development
And things were JUST SCALED DOWN A BIT, there wouldnt be so much money to lose
--OR--
Marketing would not be needed to suck a degree IF YOU DIDNT MAKE SUCH CRAP!!!
Record Studios have the option of:
- Not giving advances to every 15 year old with a workable set of pipes and a sweet rack (yet have never played an instrument or written a song in their lives) and producing their next 3 albums of bubblegum junk.
and then having the gall to sell them for $20 a pop.
---AND---
Trying to get sympathy with one hand while the other is squeezing the testicles of the artists for every drop of blood they can extract
(We're ALL at fault for this. Letting these companies get this big and bloated is a direct result of us saying - adn KNOWING AS TRUTH - "God, why does most media fucking SUCKS ASS these days" and yet still we get together with our buddies, suck back a few beers and go see "Freddy -vs- Jason"
I did it. I'm guilty, and I'm not alone)
maybe I'm just angry. maybe THERES JUST TOO MUCH CRAP BEING FOISTED ON THE WORLD AND WERE SICK OF PAYING TO SORT THROUGH IT YOU FUCKING GREEDY FUCKERS!!!
AAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHASLFDIU HAL:SDFUIH A:SDKFLN
"AS
-whew-
much better now. back to lurking.
>> 40kb/sec download of the software. Exactly what
>> kind of net pipes do they have running into
>> Jenin? Maybe download.es5.com is located
>> somewhere else...
WAS 40KB/sec, until slashdotters started to ganghump the server, not that that's a bad thing.
I hope this thing doesn't rip the ass out of my machine....
> Most computer owners cannot be expected to know
> how to troubleshoot their computer, just as most
> car owners do not know how to troubleshoot their
> car.
While this point is entirely valid and I agree with it whole heartedly, the main issue with tech support and people who complain abuot it being shitty is not that the techs expect all users to be computer experts (which, unfortunately, many of them do) but the users expect techs to be complete technical wizards with limitless powers.
People have some to learn over the years that:
A) I car try to fix my car, but if I fuck it up i suddenly have two or three thousand pounds of inert metal in my driveway that I cannot move
B) It would be much safer if I went to a mechanic and let them rake me over the coals to do whatever because I need my goddamn car to get shit done.
(of course, many of us have avoided the situation entirely by living in a Urban area and getting a bus pass, which costs about a third of what insurance alone will cost you, but I digress...)
People have been been conditioned to know what to expect in the user-machine-technician experience when it comes to cars. Similarly with Furnaces, plumbing, Electrical wiring, and a million other tasks that are considered "skilled trades"
Personal Computers for Everybody Even if You Don't Need One
are still a pretty new thing, (a market expanded by heavy hitting marketing and the need greedy suit bastards have to make all the money before the other greedy suit does) and noone knows what to expect from it, much less be conditioned to consider what a PC tech does as skilled.
"Why should we consider these people skilled?" users think. "My fucking neighbors 12 year old does this shit all the time, gettin up there on that internet thing and downloading the emails and click, click, clicking his homework to his teachers!"
The automotive repair industry does have the edge there, in that people expect to be bringing their cars to a guy who's typically a little dirty, kinda scrungy, and looks like he wouldn't mind putting that pneumatic wrench up against the side of your head if you give him any lip. This commands a little respect. Merge this with the inherent need people have for their cars and you got a user group that will do ANYTHING to not make waves.
Compare this to the stereotypical vision of the computer tech: nerd, glasses (probably taped somewhere), pasty and out of shape. Never had a date in his life.
Not the most fearsome opponent, and on top of that you're on the phone with him, so you're safe in your house - safe enough to pretend youre a big man. Plus, "What the fuck do I care, I got along for years without one of these fucking dookickey box things and godDAMNIT I just wanna get my webcam working so I can netmeeting some two-way porn with Shav3dPuzzie69, and this stupid little TV with adn EXTRA BOX that just makes noise on my DESK that the manufacturers are pretty much GIVING AWAY to me just doesn't know what to do!"
The ability to dail 11 digits on your phone and instantly have someone there for free to help you is VASTLY different from having to leave your house and go someplace else and hope this guy can take care of you so you don't miss the reruns of Friends ar 5.30 and 6.30 nightly on your local UPN affiliate. It is very empowering and gives otherwise meek people large, brass, balls.
[ One thing to remember here: while people LOVE the car-computer analogy because they understand cars are complex and mysterious, its actually a bad thing to do because it gives the sense that like a car, a computer can be used only to do one thing.
Of course not true. When cars can not only transport stuff from point A to point B, but do many other tasks, often at the same time, then that may make sense. People would have to get used to taking their car to different people depending on whats wrong with their car.]
Over time, people will come around to the fac
I happen to know pjack76.
pjack is short for "Penelope Jequeline".
now all of you can relax.
Do you folks remember "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood"? Of course you do.
One of the closest things the 'Land of Make Believe' had to a "bad guy" was this annoying dude who had this book. In the book he would draw pictures of all of the things that were his.
Whenever he would see something he wanted, he would sit down, and draw it in his book, even it it wasn't his.
Then he'd run around yelling, "THAT'S MINE! SEE! IT'S IN MY BOOK! IT BELONGS TO ME! MINE!!!"
SCO, this is what YOU are behaving like.
Just because you have some code in your book that looks like ours, that doesn't mean its yours.
Please, won't you be our neighbor?
Yeahp.
I worked for a guy who was a complete Jakob worshipper.
"CANT YA MAKE IT NOT SCROLL!"
no.
"ALL IMAGES SHOULD LINK TO SOMETHING! PEOPLE EXPECT THAT!"
what people?
"NO, NO, THE HPYERTEXT SHOULD NOT BE THE SENTENCE MAKING THE POINT, IT SHOULD BE THE "CLICK HERE" LINK WE GIVE THEM AFTER THE POPINT!"
because the average lemming doesnt understand that ANY of the pretty blue text will be a link. Nobody wants to teach anyone enything, because it might prevent them from making a buck somewhere.
"CANT YA FORCE IS SO WHEN THEY TURN THEIR TEXT FONT ALL THE WAY UP IT'LL STILL LOOK THE SAME?!?!?!?"
No.
"WHY SONT ALL THEM THINGS ON THE RIGHT LINE UP ALL THE TIME?!?!?!"
It's HTML, you dick. You want everything to line up, make a magazine with Quark and stop bothering me
kill me, please.
I just wanted to speak up and say:
That guy bugs the shit out of me.
Period.
--
> Soon , how well we're doing on The Sims Online
> will be a major factor in job interviews.
Please god I hope not. I don't think I've managed to get one of those little fuckers a decent couch before I get so bored I let them starve to death.
The Sims.
I mean, really.
Fish are cheaper than a copy of The Sims, and less irritating. Want your kids to learn social interaction from The Sims? You're a bad parent.
At the very least learn them some good micromanagment under time constraint with a little Homeworld or maybe some nice Starcraft. Get them ready for President Jenna Bush (coming in 2020!) and HER approval-numbers-boosting war against whatever country full of non-white people hasn't been assimilated by America(R) yet.
The Sims.
Jesus H Christ.
Give your daughter a fucking barbie and put the remaining $25 into a college fund so she can afford a couple extra pencils during her first week of college.