Finally, an April Fools day story that I honestly had to think twice about.
The true art of successful April Fools gags is that they have a high degree of believability to them - e.g. Your shoe is untied (assuming you are wearing shoes and they have laces)
Claiming that NASA have found traces of Green Cheese on the moon would only fool the extremely naive.
Claiming Larry Ellison is bare-knuckling it with other tech people would be quite a stretch.
Claiming Larry Ellison has made a move to buy out Apple would have people reading on and possibly some foolish people running out to buy Apple stock or sell Oracle stock and therefore would be more effective.
Oh don't worry, I'm enjoying your comments from behind the safety of my adblockers.
If you were a subscriber you wouldn't have to put up with them.
However the AdBlockers Deluxe turn almost instantly black when I'm surfing the internet or checking email. I wonder what's going on elsewhere in the world.
...but i mean isn't this what the folks at Second Life have been doing all along?:P.
Yeah, probably. And Muds and Internet Forums and all the way back to FidoNet Bulletin Boards.
I was traveling in Brugge, Belgium in 1993 and encountered a pair of psychologists in a restaurant, both counseled network addictions. Yep, before there was even the internet people were immersed in BBS systems and such and the news would carry the occasional story of lovers who met over a connection and were getting married.
Microsoft should have been split into 3 companies, but when George W. Bush rolled into Washington DC, he viewed every Clinton move as garbage and disregarded it. Really would have been a good thing for Microsoft, in the long run, one of the three was bound to ditch the crappy OS and build a better one without all the legacy garbage and bundling everyone's products for free.
If the world economy stops moving you get people losing their jobs and their homes, and eventually going hungry on the streets. It doesn't matter if you have the most ethical company in the world, they aren't going to be able to keep paying their employees if they aren't selling their products.
the mostly lower middle class tea party types will understanding that declaring war on the poor and passing laws that reward the rich will actually damage this country far more than the social programs, high taxes, and labor unions they hate. let us hope this is not a third world country when they realize that
This is what you get when your education systems turn out a load of morons - people who don't understand Macro Economics, Separation of Powers and Government Finance, but they do know how to have their heads filled with propaganda without so much as the mention of 'critical thinking' and vote against their own best interests.
Won't you please take a moment to think of your poor, starving representatives in Washington DC? They barely get by on $476 per day. With your unreported gifts you can help make their lives more comfortable and perhaps get something in return. Please act now, don't wait until it's too late. Send your dollars to: Starving GOP c/o Sean Duffy, Washington DC
Gosh. I feel so stupid and selfish when I complain about my salary and lack of pay increase for over 5 years. I'm truly humbled.
Welp, about lunch time. Have to see what's in the bins around the park.
So, there are 10 Billion social network accounts and only 7 billion people on Earth. People, there can only be one answer!
Space Liens are using Earth's social network sites!
Alien's, if you're reading this now, you have everything to fear! Stay hidden!
More than likely, you're pretty tasty and if you have an orifice, you're probably a good fuck for many people out there!
Hide for your LIVES!!!
If they're on the intarwebs already they know where you are hiding. Fear not, stout fellow, they aren't here to abduct and probe you, they're here to bore you with the details of their dreary lives on Planet 470932, where life has degenerated to the point they watch Flash ads from Earth for the thrill of it.
I have a twitter account and clear out followers now and then. Most of them seem to be of the sort which sign up, post a link to their secret fat burning system and then disappear (Remove unwanted fat - Deluxe In-Home Guillotine Kit!)
In some headline I saw somewhere, could even have been/., 0.5% do 80% of the nattering.
Squeaky wheels and the cattle who listen to them, I guess.
I know! "A new attack pushes a different song to each of 380,000 users with a link to a synchronization bot so that each user winds up with the 380,000 song set."
Wanna see how fast that gets taken care of?
Yeah, have the RIAA or MPAA on your case and you've got a trillion dollar lawsuit coming! Brr!!! I'll take my chances with teh feds.
the CIA will record every character transmitted or received (Hi, Bob!) [...] Big Brother, we aren't even close.
What if... The channels which are being used by malware were the same used by Bob and his friends? Do you think they would have an incentive to close them, or keep them open?
Ironically we'll hear that 1,000 government PCs are infected. But have some stalker on Craigslist posting from a Starbucks and the cars are already on the way. Russia may be a riddle wrapped in an enigma, but how FBI/CIA/DHS/law enforcement have access to stuff so quick, but nobody can seem to prevent the same old sh*t, which has been on the internet for years, from moving around is beyond me.
>I had that phoney malware thing come in through a Flash/Javascript hole (thanks Microsoft for not rewriting or adopting Google's re-write, you jerks) and totally hose my PC a while back.
What are you talking about?
If you have all the right holes open, that Malware scan does more than just launch an page which pretends to scan for viruses, it actually rootkits Windows and you can enjoy a merry week repairing and rebuilding. Thanks to the mindbogglingly stupid way Windows installs software packages I can't just format my system partition and reinstall the OS - my registry, my documents, my program files, et al are in the same basket. Sometimes you can install software to a different drive, but the vendor puts stuff in your Registry which goes with the rebuild and you can spend lots of fun time installing software all over again. Geez. Why didn't they adopt the *nix approach to filesystems.
Slashdot Mirror
And gosh darn, people like it!
Just employ your Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses and set for protection from Advertising. Works great.
I'd like to see some information about technology.
What, like Oliver Wendell Jones is running for president on the Meadowcrat ticket?
It's about time we got a cat cloner in office...
Finally, an April Fools day story that I honestly had to think twice about.
The true art of successful April Fools gags is that they have a high degree of believability to them - e.g. Your shoe is untied (assuming you are wearing shoes and they have laces)
Claiming that NASA have found traces of Green Cheese on the moon would only fool the extremely naive.
Claiming Larry Ellison is bare-knuckling it with other tech people would be quite a stretch.
Claiming Larry Ellison has made a move to buy out Apple would have people reading on and possibly some foolish people running out to buy Apple stock or sell Oracle stock and therefore would be more effective.
Why not make mods, all, add the absolute value of points, so modding down moves even the rotten up? They should all be for fun and not count anyway.
I would love to see that happen. Tech 'gurus' against cartoon channel execs.
Wet noodles at 10 paces.
What about the folks who only have one eye?
Will there be a monocle version of the un-3-d-er?
Stackable monocles. You'll look like Ernst Blofeld, but with more flash eyewear.
and when my monocle popped right out it punched a hole in the screen. I say!
Oh don't worry, I'm enjoying your comments from behind the safety of my adblockers.
If you were a subscriber you wouldn't have to put up with them.
However the AdBlockers Deluxe turn almost instantly black when I'm surfing the internet or checking email. I wonder what's going on elsewhere in the world.
...but i mean isn't this what the folks at Second Life have been doing all along? :P.
Yeah, probably. And Muds and Internet Forums and all the way back to FidoNet Bulletin Boards.
I was traveling in Brugge, Belgium in 1993 and encountered a pair of psychologists in a restaurant, both counseled network addictions. Yep, before there was even the internet people were immersed in BBS systems and such and the news would carry the occasional story of lovers who met over a connection and were getting married.
Now when I poke my eye out I can still enjoy 3D!
Go ahead, Raphie, get that Red Ryder BB Gun with a compass in the stock!
"Bringing together romance and gaming."
Like in "Spin the Bottle", and "Doctor"?
Oh, wait - this is new, it's "On the Internet". Quick, patent it!!!!
That idea has already been patented.
And the idea to patent that idea has also been patented.
And Fox News has a copyright on Spinning Bottles and Doctoring things.
I'm not lovin' in.
Microsoft should have been split into 3 companies, but when George W. Bush rolled into Washington DC, he viewed every Clinton move as garbage and disregarded it. Really would have been a good thing for Microsoft, in the long run, one of the three was bound to ditch the crappy OS and build a better one without all the legacy garbage and bundling everyone's products for free.
It's gonna take me ~weeks~ to duplicate all those punch cards.
Must be nice. Have you tried to find Paper Tape lately?
If the world economy stops moving you get people losing their jobs and their homes, and eventually going hungry on the streets. It doesn't matter if you have the most ethical company in the world, they aren't going to be able to keep paying their employees if they aren't selling their products.
So much for John Lennon's Imagine...
Are you saying that diverse, working class people are stupid?
No, but it is passed off as such - Republicans are perfect, Democrats are imperfect. That's the perception.
the mostly lower middle class tea party types will understanding that declaring war on the poor and passing laws that reward the rich will actually damage this country far more than the social programs, high taxes, and labor unions they hate. let us hope this is not a third world country when they realize that
This is what you get when your education systems turn out a load of morons - people who don't understand Macro Economics, Separation of Powers and Government Finance, but they do know how to have their heads filled with propaganda without so much as the mention of 'critical thinking' and vote against their own best interests.
maybe the GOP should let the top 10% income pay even less taxes ?
Makes sense - that leaves more left over for campaign donations, now that that messy campaign finance reform law was thrown out.
... champion of traditional American values like free speech and personal responsibility!
The difference between the Democrats and Republicans - In a nutshell:
When the Democrats do something stupid, it's because it's expected from the diverse, working class roots they largely come from.
When the Republicans do something stupid, they deny it happened at all and is a liberal conspiracy.
Won't you please take a moment to think of your poor, starving representatives in Washington DC? They barely get by on $476 per day. With your unreported gifts you can help make their lives more comfortable and perhaps get something in return. Please act now, don't wait until it's too late. Send your dollars to: Starving GOP c/o Sean Duffy, Washington DC
Gosh. I feel so stupid and selfish when I complain about my salary and lack of pay increase for over 5 years. I'm truly humbled.
Welp, about lunch time. Have to see what's in the bins around the park.
So, there are 10 Billion social network accounts and only 7 billion people on Earth. People, there can only be one answer!
Space Liens are using Earth's social network sites!
Alien's, if you're reading this now, you have everything to fear! Stay hidden!
More than likely, you're pretty tasty and if you have an orifice, you're probably a good fuck for many people out there!
Hide for your LIVES!!!
If they're on the intarwebs already they know where you are hiding. Fear not, stout fellow, they aren't here to abduct and probe you, they're here to bore you with the details of their dreary lives on Planet 470932, where life has degenerated to the point they watch Flash ads from Earth for the thrill of it.
I have a twitter account and clear out followers now and then. Most of them seem to be of the sort which sign up, post a link to their secret fat burning system and then disappear (Remove unwanted fat - Deluxe In-Home Guillotine Kit!)
In some headline I saw somewhere, could even have been /., 0.5% do 80% of the nattering.
Squeaky wheels and the cattle who listen to them, I guess.
I know! "A new attack pushes a different song to each of 380,000 users with a link to a synchronization bot so that each user winds up with the 380,000 song set."
Wanna see how fast that gets taken care of?
Yeah, have the RIAA or MPAA on your case and you've got a trillion dollar lawsuit coming! Brr!!! I'll take my chances with teh feds.
the CIA will record every character transmitted or received (Hi, Bob!) [...] Big Brother, we aren't even close.
What if... The channels which are being used by malware were the same used by Bob and his friends? Do you think they would have an incentive to close them, or keep them open?
Ironically we'll hear that 1,000 government PCs are infected. But have some stalker on Craigslist posting from a Starbucks and the cars are already on the way. Russia may be a riddle wrapped in an enigma, but how FBI/CIA/DHS/law enforcement have access to stuff so quick, but nobody can seem to prevent the same old sh*t, which has been on the internet for years, from moving around is beyond me.
>I had that phoney malware thing come in through a Flash/Javascript hole (thanks Microsoft for not rewriting or adopting Google's re-write, you jerks) and totally hose my PC a while back.
What are you talking about?
If you have all the right holes open, that Malware scan does more than just launch an page which pretends to scan for viruses, it actually rootkits Windows and you can enjoy a merry week repairing and rebuilding. Thanks to the mindbogglingly stupid way Windows installs software packages I can't just format my system partition and reinstall the OS - my registry, my documents, my program files, et al are in the same basket. Sometimes you can install software to a different drive, but the vendor puts stuff in your Registry which goes with the rebuild and you can spend lots of fun time installing software all over again. Geez. Why didn't they adopt the *nix approach to filesystems.