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User: kenj0418

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Comments · 247

  1. Microscope for Children on Ask Slashdot: Advice On Child-Friendly Microscopes? · · Score: 1

    I think any microscope should work for children. You just need to make sure you slice the children thin enough to fit between the glass slide plates.

  2. Re:Didn't they fire that scientist? on CERN: Neutrinos Respect Cosmic Speed Limit · · Score: 1

    "Just think of how stupid the [median] person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!" - George Carlin

  3. Re:Or what? on NASA To Future Lunar Explorers: Don't Mess With Our Moon Stuff · · Score: 1

    sexual activity with a spacecraft

    I'm sure Rule 34 applies here, but I'm afraid to Google it find out. I'd like to keep my childhood memories of Interplanetary Janet untainted.

  4. Re:Interesting technology on Microsoft-Funded Startup Aims To Kill BitTorrent Traffic · · Score: 2

    5. Switch to a xylophone-based IP network. At least then you'll be able to hear the network connection change tune if they hack into it.

  5. Re:Keep it coming! on Warmest 12-Month Period Recorded In US · · Score: 1

    "Global warming is just code for UN comisars telling US what temperatures WE can have in OUR outdoors! I say let the world warm up. See what Boutras Boutras Ghali Ghali thinks about that. I'll grow oranges in Alaska." - Dale Gribble

  6. Re:Let's settle the argument... on What To Do About an Asteroid That Has a 1 In 625 Chance of Hitting Us In 2040? · · Score: 1

    Wherever it hits, those are the people that God hates most. End of debate.

    I'm picturing a very old Fred Phelps holding up a sign that says "God hates fish!".

  7. Re:Makes takedown far easier ... on WikiLeaks To Ship Servers To Micronation of Sealand? · · Score: 1

    No one that counts recognizes Sealand's sovereignty. It is within the UK's territorial waters, it belongs to the UK.

    Sealand is best described as an unrecognized sovereign territory.

    (Not saying you are one, but) I don't understand the people that think Sealand is some magical law-free zone. If the US administration decided to take down WikiLeaks servers on Sealand it would play out one of two ways:
    Option 1:
    Obama: Hey Dave, is this 'Sealand' place part of your country?
    Cameron: Yes. We've let them goof off and pretend like they are a country, but they are really part of the UK.
    Obama: Great. Can you go seize all the WikiLeaks servers from there for us. I'd really appreciate it - and you know blah-blah treaties and whatnot.
    Cameron: No problem. Consider it done.

    Option 2:
    Obama: Hey Dave, is this 'Sealand' place part of your country?
    Cameron: No. We let them break off a while back. We've learned its best to let places do that when they want to leave the empire. (chuckle)
    Obama: OK. It's too bad we don't have a giant navy or I could take care of this myself then. (chuckle)
    (click)
    (hits speed dial button for Pentagon)

  8. Re:Why we need plausible deniability encryption... on US Judge Rules Defendant Can Be Forced To Decrypt Hard Drive · · Score: 2

    Assuming her lawyers fail to get the judges order reversed, or convince the judge she really can't comply, she just needs to decide whether the potential penalties of her alleged crimes (and whatever increased likelihood of conviction the data would cause) outweighs the time the judge is going to put her in jail for contempt. The article says bank fraud, wire fraud, and money laundering -- so forgetting sounds like a good idea.

  9. Cave Johnson here! on Rare Moon Mineral Found On Earth · · Score: 1

    I say we grind them up mix them into a gel. Once we invent a portal gun, that should come in very handy. Although it'll probably be pure poison.

  10. Re:Also on Ebert: I'll Tell You Why Movie Revenue Is Dropping · · Score: 5, Funny

    And with 3D it was "Dances with Giant Smurfs: 3D" plus a headache.

  11. Re:Do NOT make a frickin laser beam joke on EU Scientists Working On Laser To Rip a Hole In Spacetime · · Score: 1

    Be careful what you wish for.

  12. Re:Do NOT make a frickin laser beam joke on EU Scientists Working On Laser To Rip a Hole In Spacetime · · Score: 4, Funny

    Anybody caught making a Frickin' Sharks joke will be permanently labeled a virgin.

    If that happens, can I have all that child support I've paid refunded?

  13. Re:Only one to protect yourself on AIDS Vaccine Breakthrough · · Score: 1

    woosh..... It was a joke. The joke being marriage=abstinence.

  14. Re:I guess it depends on the politics of the State on Accent Monitoring: Innovation Or Rights Violation? · · Score: 1

    I'm with Lauren in thinking even the Scottish shouldn't be allowed to teach an English class:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxB1gB6K-2A

  15. Re:Only one to protect yourself on AIDS Vaccine Breakthrough · · Score: 1

    Why do you think marriage would protect you from getting AIDS?

    Because abstinence is always effective.

  16. Re:Make it simple on Medical Billing Codes For Injury Via Turtle Among Thousands Created by New Law · · Score: 3, Funny

    You CAN be severely injured by a lightning strike from a clear sky.

    Hmm, let me check my list:
    S444.11 Smote - Fire, Pillar from sky
    S444.12 Smote - Fire, Spontaneous Combustion
    S444.2 Smote - Salt, Transformation into pillar
    S444.3 Smote - Lightning

    Ahh, there it is.

  17. Re:There are easier ways... on Satellite Captures Burning Man From Space · · Score: 2

    There are easier ways to see pictures of naked hippies.

    But not without getting closer to them.

    In space, no one can... smell that you haven't bathed in a month.

  18. Re:Can you GPL your genes/body? on Genome Researchers Wants Your Genes · · Score: 1

    ...body to science..but be sure that not some Monsanto makes a shitload of money from it by patenting the shit out of my dead body.

    Damn. There goes their plans to make "Plants vs. Zombies" into a reality TV show.

  19. Re:Commemerative? on Star Wars Coins Issued By Pacific Island Nation · · Score: 1

    I find your lack of faith disturbing.

  20. Re:BS on First Observational Test of the "Multiverse" · · Score: 1

    Evidently who is not a smart ass has already thought of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_suicide_and_immortality

  21. Re:BS on First Observational Test of the "Multiverse" · · Score: 1

    The multiverse theory, as I have always understood it, posits that for every possible "choice", universes are created to express each on the possibilities, or "choices".

    Here's how you can test that theory. It's the Schrödinger's cat experiment, except YOU are the cat. If there are multiple universes where each possible outcome occurs, then now half of them have you alive and half have you dead. Of course, *you* will only perceive the alive half. Repeat until you reach your desired level of certainty. Of course, that doesn't really prove much for most copies of the rest of us, since we'll all mainly be in universes where you are quite dead.

    (Author not responsible for dead experimenters)

  22. Re:Well depends on how it increases on Linguists Out Men Impersonating Women On Twitter · · Score: 2

    How is this "huge?" What the hell are you going to do with it?

    That's what she said. Or maybe it was a he -- I'm confused now.

  23. Re:Just ask Bear Grylls on NASA's New Bag Turns Urine Into Sports Drink · · Score: 1

    Patches O'Houlihan agrees.

  24. Re:What the fuck is this? on Long Now Clock Advances With Bezos Cash · · Score: 1

    Yeah, but those crappy Voyager clocks are always running a few milliseconds slow.

  25. Re:No thank you... on 35% Use Mobile Apps Before Getting Out of Bed · · Score: 1

    Settle down. This is slashdot. If an emergency needs his immediate attention, his mom will just come downstairs and wake him up.