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User: BlazingATrail

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  1. Explodes onto the market on Japanese Company Makes Low-Calorie Noodles Out of Wood · · Score: 1

    Explodes onto the market just like Olestra.

  2. Large smartphones on UK Prisons To Crack Down On Inmate Internet and Mobile Phone Use (thestack.com) · · Score: 5, Funny

    Do they know how much of a pain in the ass it is to smuggle in the largest model iPhone?

  3. Maginot 2.0 on Google Rejects French Order For 'Right To Be Forgotten' · · Score: 1

    The French have never been too smart about building useless fortifications designed to keep stuff out.

  4. 3 laws deleted on UN to Debate Use of Fully Autonomous Weapons, New Report Released · · Score: 1

    Since it has to kill enemies, they have already deleted the 3 laws. The robot has firewall to any outside control and runs on nuclear power, requiring no recharging. What could possibly go wrong?

  5. If Google made it... on Autonomous Car Ethics: If a Crash Is Unavoidable, What Does It Hit? · · Score: 1

    If Google made the car, then it's target selection process is a secret! Sssssshhh.. it avoids the person that paid for AdWords You can increase your chances of not being hit by doing paying a 3rd party company to decrease your ranking.

  6. My HTTP requests contain EULA on Yahoo Stops Honoring 'Do-Not-Track' Settings · · Score: 1

    I always attach a hidden EULA to all my HTTP requests, so if the web site tracks me, they have violated my license and I can sue them for breech of contract and millions of dollars.

  7. John Carmack and his BFG on Zenimax Accuses John Carmack of Stealing VR Tech · · Score: 1

    John loads his BFG and aims it at Zenimax, it fires ... screaming, flames, squishing noises and body parts everywhere.

  8. Kinect pay-per-view on DreamWorks Animation CEO: Movie Downloads Will Move To Pay-By-Screen-Size · · Score: 1

    They are working with Microsoft to use the Kinect to detect how many people are watching and calculating their gross weight. The next billing will be pixels-per-pound. Maybe Dominoes might be interested too, $19.99 pizza per thousand pounds of people.

  9. Government will deliver! on To Save the Internet We Need To Own the Means of Distribution · · Score: 1

    Obama announces the NSA will take over all internet delivery. The net stays neutral, secure and free from corporate greed. In other news, tin foil has been banned by the EPA.

  10. Budweiser trucks seen nearby on Why Portland Should Have Kept Its Water, Urine and All · · Score: 5, Funny

    Budweiser sent trucks to take some of the piss water away to make American style beer

  11. Re:Analyst/Programmers ... on How 'DevOps' Is Killing the Developer · · Score: 2

    you used to carry your stack of punch cards to a Demi-priest, who passed them to the Priest who was the only one that was allowed to touch the computer. Funny, how even today that role still exists.. it's called a DBA.. these jerks won't let mortal developers near a database, even though the dev writes the script to be run against production, and DBA monkey just hits Run for you.

  12. The Disney Way on How 'DevOps' Is Killing the Developer · · Score: 1

    Read the book The Disney Way.. it doesn't matter if you are the CEO or there to paint the fence. If you see garbage, you pick it up. It's about everyone pitching in to make a company awesome. (said in a Disney Princess voice)... but seriously... Of course everything is a balance, I think the operative word is "occasional" ops.. it doesn't take much time out of dev schedule to manage a web server or VM so your product just keeps working, especially when it is a new product and the production ops are still being figured out.

  13. Magic upgrade sequence solved! on Microsoft Confirms It Is Dropping Windows 8.1 Support · · Score: 5, Funny

    You can upgrade by installing Windows Me, then Vista Ultimate, then enable start menu, disable start menu, 8.0 SP1, Windows ME again but holding ALT-F5 until BSOD appears, then quickly insert the 3.5 floppy with 8.1 patch on it (if you didn't keep a floppy drive.. oh you're so screwed!).

  14. Re:Hardware off switches on Google Chrome Flaw Sets Your PC's Mic Live · · Score: 2

    Just like auto manufacturers put cosmetic do-nothing switches in for disabling the airbags. Also, the emergency air masks in the airplanes are just hooked up to each other, not to oxygen. Take quick panic breaths and see who passes out first!

  15. Trust no one on Google Chrome Flaw Sets Your PC's Mic Live · · Score: 1

    Simple solution, make a personal "cone of silence" around your chair and wear a mask.

  16. Assault gun on Navy Debuts New Railgun That Launches Shells at Mach 7 · · Score: 1

    It looks scary, let's ban it !

  17. Re:The matrix on Linux Developers Consider On-Screen QR Codes For Kernel Panics · · Score: 1

    Of course,.... 42 is the answer but we will never know the ultimate question!

  18. The matrix on Linux Developers Consider On-Screen QR Codes For Kernel Panics · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I prefer all my BSOD, crashes and core dumps to use the Matrix dripping green characters and pixel crap method of reporting errors. It's easier to see the patterns. Guru meditation # 42

  19. Critical numbers on How Many People Does It Take To Colonize Another Star System? · · Score: 1

    I don't care if it's enough, just put me on the next spacecraft with Mila Kunis and Scarlett Johansson... Everything will be just awesome!

  20. Re: Clearly vaccination is to blame! on Continued Rise In Autism Diagnoses Puzzles Researchers, Galvanizes Advocates · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Herd immunity starts to fail and those idiots that don't immunize start to affect those that can't be immunized such as pregnant women and babies. imo, you refuse to immunize you should be placed on No fly list, refused entry into school, government buildings etc. Treated like a leper, yes.. but you had the choice of a freely available cure.

  21. Re:POT is Constitutionally Protected on WSJ: Prepare To Hang Up the Phone — Forever · · Score: 0

    Constitutionally protected privacy? you are joking right? wires, air waves, your front door or cute laws are not going to stop your government from spying on you.

  22. Re:soudex? on TSA Missed Boston Bomber Because His Name Was Misspelled In a Database · · Score: 1

    Or a passport number? these guys were here on visas they should have all kinds of unique numbers and probably photos assigned to them. Why the fuck are they using manually entered names as the only check? Waves hand slowly in the air and invokes the Force: This is not the John Smith you are looking for. TSA Agents repeat, this is not the John Smith we are looking for.

  23. Re:Taking bets here.. on NSA General Counsel Insists US Companies Assisted In Data Collection · · Score: 1

    So what happens if one of these big companies say FU and refuse to let NSA in. As soon as a warrant, raid or somebody is jailed then the "secret program" is out of the bag. These companies need to grow a pair.

  24. Who will watch the new group? on Church Committee Members Say New Group Needed To Watch NSA · · Score: 1

    The constitution and judiciary who will enforce it is the only group you need. They won't so the new group is just as free to break the law as the NSA. The Supreme Court and your government is already corrupt and ignores the constitution, so you're pretty much screwed.

  25. It's government, what did you possibly think was going to happen?