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User: swschrad

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Comments · 2,367

  1. ready... aim... on World's First Linux Powered Rifle Announced · · Score: 1

    kernel panic! kernel panic! kernel panic! "help, Billy, the damn thing won't stop firing!"

  2. it's a fund-raiser! on Nokia Redirecting Traffic On Some of Its Phones, Including HTTPS · · Score: 1

    well, most folks around the courthouse steps call it a hack, but, hey, whatever.

  3. quick, file a patent! file ten! file fifty! on Smart Guns To Stop Mass Killings · · Score: 1

    so the first time a hunter pulls down his gun because there is movement beyond the trees, he gets whacked with a lawsuit for patent theft by avoiding a bad shot.

  4. tubes. on Slashdot Asks: What would you like to see at CES? · · Score: 1

    lots and lots and lots of booths filled with gizmos that would otherwise be pocket litter built with tube after tube after tube.

    it would force a lot of "no step 3" business plans to reconsider.

  5. Hi, I'm Clippy on US Military Signs Modernization Deal With Microsoft · · Score: 4, Funny

    I see you want to obliterate Wackistan with 10 drops before their operatives poison Washington. Can I help?

  6. where did those workers come from? on HP Cuts Workforce By 5%, Looks To Probe GM Hires · · Score: 1

    were those EDS employees, who might, just might, have once been GM employees who stayed at the desks and became EDS workers?

    or were those slaves bought off the boat and chained so they wouldn't cause trouble?

  7. now with Auto-Loss (tm)! on Apple Files Patent For "Active Stylus" For Use With Capacitive Touchscreens · · Score: 5, Funny

    (6951a) Application also defines a new stylus feature, in which the apparatus for holding stylus will either randomly release the stylus, or actively eject the stylus, depending on how important it would be in selection of one of the next features of software (see 976 d,e,g,zz et al) that may come up. Application claims trademark on the definition of this feature, Auto-Loss (tm), which is filed under separate registration for protection.

  8. gol darn Borg on USMA: Going the Extra Kilometer For Metrication · · Score: 1

    give 'em an inch, and they'll take over 2 kilometers.

  9. uh, let's see. mutant meat. aha!-- guns. next.. on Researcher Warns That Military Must Prepare For "Mutant" Future · · Score: 1

    the military has what amounts to big-ass guns and bombs of all types, sufficient to take down mutant meat marching. next problem, please...

  10. independently peer-reviews as in science on Amazon: Authors Can't Review Books · · Score: 1

    for all that good that has done us in fields such as "cold fusion" and zillions of miracle medical cures that all "need more study" because the group is small, and the signal is only found with electron microscopes on further review with stacks of cash being scurried about.

  11. security? no. on How Do YOU Establish a Secure Computing Environment? · · Score: 1

    any machine that has been used can be compromised. just like your living room, if a thug REALLY wants to get in, they will.

    your task, therefore, gentlemen, is to be as frikkin BORING as possible. please to start with best Star Trek captain. nobody will bother you then.

  12. don't need Irant anyway on Iran Claims New Cyberattacks On Industrial Sites · · Score: 3, Interesting

    but the real fun is when some nitwit turns the worms loose on the so-called "smart grid," which has more holes than security.

  13. ooh! I can call the sheriff! on You're Being DDOSed — What Do You Do? Name and Shame? · · Score: 1

    who will say, "uh, what? if you got a dose from somebody, you want public health."

  14. do something useful instead on You're Being DDOSed — What Do You Do? Name and Shame? · · Score: 1, Insightful

    contact the ISPs involved, tell them they yank the bad boys' service or you will blackhole them.

  15. uh, what was that line again? on Ask Slashdot: How Do You "Unwrap" e-Gifts? · · Score: 1

    "...you'll be thwarted by DRM issues for lots of content."

    this IS slashdot, right? and you really typed that???

  16. "only 1 mile on a Dvorak keyboard"... on Ask Slashdot: Typing Advice For a Guinness World Record Attempt? · · Score: 1

    yeah, you have to keep looking to see where the keys are

  17. the record on a Royal manual is 240+ wpm on Ask Slashdot: Typing Advice For a Guinness World Record Attempt? · · Score: 1

    now, you can probably type as fast as lightning if the judges don't have to read your opus. writing is easy. reading is hard.

  18. FrankenFish! on FDA Closer To Approving Biotech Salmon · · Score: 4, Funny

    do NOT cook in an electric oven. you have been warned.

  19. action == reaction on NASA Plans To "Lasso" Asteroid and Turn It Into Space Station · · Score: 4, Insightful

    and when they launch to another planet from the asteroid, it will be kicked out of its "neutral" orbit and enter a declining apogee which eventually causes it to crash into Earth.

    boy, I hope that colonization thing works OK

  20. good bill, level playing field on Net Neutrality Bill Aimed At ISP Data Caps Introduced In US Senate · · Score: 1

    this would put an end to bait-and-switch service contracts, such as "unlimited service" which cuts you off after 4 gigs a month, and insure you compare apples to apples when you buy data services. however, I would like to see spelled out as a national benchmark a solid disclosure of when caps are placed. "to protect network" does not mean a damn thing. "we will cap the top 1/2 percent of users and/or anybody who is utilizing over X gigabits of data per day" tells you what you need to know. nobody does that at present.

  21. critical training test #1: on Training Under Way For New Nuclear Plant Operators In S. Carolina · · Score: 1

    pass: run a 4-minute mile.

  22. improvements on Training Under Way For New Nuclear Plant Operators In S. Carolina · · Score: 1

    among them are reduced need for pumping water to cool the AP1000, it is claimed that in shutdown, as long as there is water in the machine, it convectively cools without pumping.

  23. Re:Why is data paid both ways? on ISP Data Caps Just a 'Cash Cow' · · Score: 1

    because the ability to service the traffic is required on both sides, and since staff, fiber, electricity, and "call-a me Bob" in support are not free, you got to pay for it.

  24. and now for something inconveniently different... on ISP Data Caps Just a 'Cash Cow' · · Score: 2

    over on the ISP and backbone side of life, data traffic is growing 50-60 percent per year, and it's a wild race to try and keep ahead. an expensive race. at this point, at least one company I'm familiar with is asking do they raise the backbones to 400 gig or to one terabit inside the centers.

    that ain't the flower fund they have to raid for it.

    argue caps all you want, NostrilDrippus Predicts! (tm) that tiers of usage or per-gig usage charges are your next fightin' words in mere years of time.

  25. in other words, 0 Mbps on The State of In-Flight Wi-Fi · · Score: 1

    you can perhaps view one tweet per flight. sounds like the peanuts, pillow, blankets, and complimentary baggage services.