Chief Terrorist Whacker Bush today announced a fundamental change to the commonly used system for internet addresses.
"I went to this interweb site to buy some more helicopters for the army and I realized I have no way of knowing if this is a terrorist organization. How do I know that the money I am spending on helicopters to help our future isn't going to some Yahoo in Somalia? So I picked up the bat phone and called Vice Whacker Cheney and said, 'Dick, we need to change this.'"
Bush's new system does away with the.com,.net,.edu,.info,.musuem,.name, and.org "top level domains," as well as all country-specific TLDs. They will be replaced with two TLDs:.us and.them.
Web site owners can register.us domains at their local DMV (or equivalent Motor Vehicle Administration), where they will be required to furnish a social security number, photo ID, and finger prints. The old addressing system is slated to be shut down in March 31.
"Most of the Web sites I need already have the.us designation thanks to some forward thinking by my friends at ICANN, so I don't foresee too much of a problem here," Bush said.
The device puts a one inch box directly in front of your nose and expects you to read text from it? Can you imagine the number of people who are going to end up cross-eyed?
"Sure, my carpal tunnel syndrome is gone, but I broke my right arm when I tripped over a desk in the office."
I've always cringed at the thought that not only the is heat my processor is generating wasted energy, but I'm draining my battery further to run a fan to keep the processor cool. Liquid cooling could solve half of that problem.
Most laptops are pretty tightly packed, though, so it would be difficult to modify this for an existing laptop, but it would be nice if a laptop manufacturer built liquid cooling into one of its models.
We've already proved the existence of black holes
on
Black Holes Disputed
·
· Score: 4, Funny
A famous former surgeon general discovered the first of these monsters a few years ago, and named it drkoop.com (the.com designation is often used to help identify black holes). Then there was altavista.com, webvan.com, and many others.
The escape velocity exceeds the speed of VC money. Since nothing can go faster than VC money...
Enron, by the way, is not a black hole. It's a pulsar -- a dead star that regularly flashes us with reminders that it's dead ("Enron doesn't have any money," "Enron doesn't have any money," Enron doesn't have any money," etc.).
AOL can put the Red Hat installer on the millions of AOL disks it dumps on the country (I got two today, by the way), but AOL users aren't going to install it:
"Why can't I play my games?"
"Why can't I use MSN Explorer?"
"I'm not letting my kids use Wine!!!"
"Are you sure my cup holder is supported?"
The masses aren't going to install AOL themselves. If they ever switch to Linux, it will have to come installed on their machines.
If the piracy is so rampant that Adobe is actually losing money, then it makes sense to cut the product line.
However, I don't think this will hurt the pirates. Anyone willing to go to the lengths necessary to acquire the software and circumvent anti-piracy measures (serial numbers, dongles, etc.) is probably willing to put up with English menus. Photoshop and Illustrator aren't exactly language intensive applications -- they're intuitive graphics apps.
The people who will really suffer are the people who do pay for asian versions of Adobe's software (businesses, schools, etc.) and the employees who work on those versions at Adobe. If you're an internationalization guru who got laid off because international piracy is just too rampant, you're in trouble.
Now that I think about it, the marketing folks used the sound system to do a kind of "washingtonpost.com radio show" in which they talked about how cool the site was. The line of people waiting to get into RFK Stadium for the Cardinals-Pirates(?) exhibition game were "subjected" to that for hours, and I think it was the staged radio show that caused that one guy to snap, not the colors (which were very cool).
That was in March of 1999. I think marketing continued to talk people in the newsroom into accompanying WOW for a few more months, but I'm pretty sure it was shelved by the time I left a year later. It would be a shame if they're not using it any more, but I know one of the concerns was the value of the vehicle. It was so expensive the marketing people didn't feel comfortable driving it ("What if we got into an accident?", "What if someone tried to steal it?") and it had to be stored in some secure, undisclosed location. I'll bet the vice president has been living in it since September.:o)
Re:Did something like this (roaming cafe)
on
Mobile IT Education?
·
· Score: 5, Informative
I wasn't involved in setting this up, but as a member of the editorial staff, I got talked into accompanying the navigator at an event to show people the highlights of washingtonpost.com (heck, I still have the "Washingtonpost.com on Wheels" (WOW) sweatshirt).
WOW was really cool, but a few things stick out in my mind:
Sunlight - Outdoors we could only use one side (3 of the vehicle's 6 computers) at a time because the glare from the bright sunlight made the screens on one side unviewable. I suppose a tent-like enclosure could have been rigged to prevent this, but that would have taken away from the vehicle's "cool" factor ("Look Mommy, there are computers in that car!").
Lack of Interest - While a live, roving exposition of our Web site seemed like a great idea to me, in practice most people didn't seem very interested. Those who walked over and were interested in more than just the cool vehicle didn't have a very long attention span. Some of them commented they would like to check the site out at home, but at the event they didn't have the patience to stand around using a computer. I guess people are just used to sitting down to use computers... I noticed that the Newseum in Rosslyn had chairs in front of its Online Journalism exhibit.
Several people actually came over and told us they thought the flashy vehicle's presence was a shameless promotion for the venerable Washington Post. One of them even promised to send a complaint to Katharine Graham, but I think he may have missed his medication that morning.:o) We laughed at him after he was out of earshot.
Pencils - The free washingtonpost.com pencils we had were definitely more popular than the computers on the vehicle. In retrospect, I'm not sure if they helped lure people in or just distracted people from our main attraction.
Mice - IIRC, WOW used trackballs instead of mice. I thought this was a really nice usability touch. To use mice, we would have had to provide large, awkward surfaces for "mousing."
You can see a picture of WOW here, but I can't find any of its related promotional materials on washingtonpost.com today. At any rate, I thought the vehicle was an engineering marvel. Good work, Todd!:o)
I find that the real advantage of OSX's PDF-based graphics engine is that I can create PDF files from any print dialog.
Previously this was available only though special software which had to be purchased from Adobe. Now the operating system emables me to create documents with the assurance that it will be rendered on anyone's screen as it would have been rendered by my printer.
Beyond that, I know anyone can print their own hard copy of my document without any cross-platform problems. That's something MS Word cannot boast.
If they really want to prevent people from recording TV shows, they should do what some police departments do: "buy back" the dangerous equipment.
To get guns off the streets, some police departments hold an annual(?) amnesty day on which you can bring your gun (or "someone else's") to a designated place and they will buy it from you.
I'd like to see ABC, CBS and NBC bidding for my VCR. They probably wouldn't offer cash for the VCRs, though. They would each have their own version of TiVo that tracks your viewing habits, and they would invite you to trade in your clunky old box for a shiny new Big Brothe-- I mean, Personal Video Recorder. NBC would of course offer a discount on the MS HomeStation (since NBC and MS are so close) and a free Passport account.
Of course, I'll always have my computer's video card hooked up to the cable box...
Shannon Henry is a good columnist, but her columns aren't directed at software engineers in Houston, New York, Seattle or Silicon Valley.
Her job is specifically to cover the DC area's technology industry, which is saturated with people who work for government contractors or the federal government itself. In that sense, it's quite different from other areas of the country.
Traditionally, the DC area experiences an economic boom when the country goes to war (thousands of jobs are created, houses are built, etc.), so there may be jobs created there that don't exist where you live. Just something to bear in mind.
I hope the book publishers don't catch on to this:
This book may not be readable by a limited number of people (such as people who can type on a keyboard, people who know how to use a scanner, and a small number of others). Random House is currently working with schools to reduce the number of typing classes and increase the number of reading classes.
If you experience a problem, you can help us by emailing the names of the schools you attended and a description of the problem to satan@randomhouse.com.
For information about returns, please see our return policy.
RETURN POLICY
Returns are limited to those customers who have both:
Difficulty reading the book to be returned
A written agreement (Form FU-101) signed by Random House guaranteeing readability.
Perhaps I was a little melodramatic in my post... you'll have to forgive me, I had just finished watching a classic Twilight Zone episode:
Codebreaker: We've only been able to decipher the cover of the book the aliens left behind. Mr. Chambers: Well, what's it say? Codebreaker: "To Serve Man" Chambers: I'd say that settles the question of their intentions.
--- Codebreaker: Mr Chambers! Don't get on that ship! The book! "To Serve Man"... it's a cook book! Chambers: Hey, let me off of this thing. Let me go!
--- Alien: Come now, Mr. Chambers. Eat. We wouldn't want you to lose weight. Chambers (to the camera): How about you? Are you still on Earth or are you trapped on this space ship with me. I suppose it doesn't really matter. Soon we'll all of us be on the menu. All of us.
So in my mind, I suppose I was thinking:
CmdrTaco: We've only been able to decipher the name of Gates's new initiative. Slashdot Readers: Well, what's it say? CmdrTaco: "Trustworthy Computing" Slashdot: I'd say that settles the question of their intentions.
--- CmdrTaco: Don't get on that bandwagon! The initiative! "Trustworthy Computing"... it's a cook book! Slashdot: Hey, let me off this thing. Let me go.
--- Gates: Come now, Slashdot readers. Buy some food with your Passport account. We wouldn't want you to starve to death. Slashdot (via MSN Messenger): How about you? Are you still using Linux or are you trapped by these Windows like me? I suppose it doesn't really matter. Soon we'll all of us be behind Windows. All of us.
Gates referred to the new philosophy as "Trustworthy Computing" and called it the "highest priority".... Meanwhile, Richard Smith notes that the Globally Unique Identifier in every installation of Windows Media Player allows websites to universally track users.
"Trustworthy Computing" doesn't necessarily mean "secure computing." Microsoft wants you to think that, though, just like they want you to assume "we're innovating" means "we're making products better for you." (Incidentally, MS's definition of "innovation" means "finding new ways to solidify our market position.")
Anyone remember Bill Gates's deposition in the MS antitrust trial? His version of the English language is so far out of whack he spent most of each session professing to have no understanding of common words and terms.
In this case, "Trustworthy Computing" means "convincing computer users that they don't have to wory about security... that they can trust MS."
Microsoft has risen to its level of dominance because it has traditionally been the most insecure software company in the world. Many companies/people let down their guard after reaching a certain comfort level. However, Microsoft's "they're after us" attitude has pushed it to remain extremely aggressive even in its current market position.
What would Bill say?
"First they punish us for innovation, and now they want to punish us for feeling insecure? That's incredible! Memo to marketing: words beginning with 'IN' no longer to be used in PR materials."
More importantly, we don't want to violate the Prime Directive.
Meteor Proves Life Exists Outside Europa; Church Attendance Plummets
By Kang Kodos
Europa Press Religion Writer
An oddly-shaped meteor fell from the sky at 1:24PM KST yesterday and crashed into one of Kataan province's largest churches.
A thorough inspection of the rock revealed tiny life forms heretofore unknown to Europeans. Prominent religionists hailed the event as proof that we are not alone in the Jupiter System, but cautioned that it could have far more profound effects.
"We may seriously have to question the existence of Dog," said Arch-Bluejay Glick. "Why would she have allowed these creatures to destroy one of her houses?"
The odd shape and markings on the meteor have lead religionists to suggest that the life forms may possess an intelligence far more advanced than our own, but all attempts to communicate with the life forms have failed thus far.
</SARCASM>
The article says we already know the distance between the center of the Earth and the Moon, but Murphy wants to get as accurate a measurement as possible, and suggests that it will be accurate to the nearest millimeter.
Unfortunately, he's not really measuring the distance between the centers of the two planetoids... he's measuring the distance between the top of some piece of equipment on the Moon and the lens of his telescope.
This reminds me of the human genome project. At some point, the scientists announced, "we've finished mapping the human genome! It's finished!" And as it turned out, it wasn't anywhere near completion. I believe it's still unfinished.
Scientist: "We're going to measure the exact distance between the center of the earth and the center of the moon."
Janitor: "So, why is it off by billions of millimeters?"
Scientist: "Picky, aren't we? It's close enough!"
Is modern science really so desperate to inspire interest in people? Lies are not impressive.
Well, it is in the it-warrants-mentioning department.
Besides, it's only appropriate to follow up a "heralding the death of Napster" discussion with a "Napster founder predicts the death of Gnutella" discussion.
What do you do about the sites that require your credit card info (or similar information you can't alter). If the name or address you provide don't match what the credit card company has on file, they might not authorize the transaction.
Your privacy is no longer protected by a web site statement. Beware!
Privacy statements are not intended to protect your privacy. They are often marketing ploys specifically engineered to gain your trust so the company can exploit it.
Think about it -- would you really know if the Web site was not honoring its privacy statement? Are there any laws forcing the site to follow its stated policy? If so, are those laws enforcible?
In some cases (perhaps pertaining to certain bank or medical information) there are laws protecting you, but never assume you're protected simply because a "privacy statement" says you are.
They are McDonalds, we are McDowells. They have the Golden Arches, we have the Golden Arcs. They have two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun. We also have two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions... but they're no seeds in OUR buns.
In this case, I'd love to see the defense attorney tell the judge:
They have Windows, we have Lindows. They have "feature-rich" products, we call them "not ready to ship" products. They have the ability to run Windows programs. We also have the ability to run Windows programs, but there is no need to choose between Windows and Linux with OUR operating system.
Slashdot Mirror
</SARCASM>
In other news, Microsoft buys .NET TLD from Verisign for 4.5 Billion.
Most laptops are pretty tightly packed, though, so it would be difficult to modify this for an existing laptop, but it would be nice if a laptop manufacturer built liquid cooling into one of its models.
A famous former surgeon general discovered the first of these monsters a few years ago, and named it drkoop.com (the .com designation is often used to help identify black holes). Then there was altavista.com, webvan.com, and many others.
The escape velocity exceeds the speed of VC money. Since nothing can go faster than VC money...
Enron, by the way, is not a black hole. It's a pulsar -- a dead star that regularly flashes us with reminders that it's dead ("Enron doesn't have any money," "Enron doesn't have any money," Enron doesn't have any money," etc.).
The masses aren't going to install AOL themselves. If they ever switch to Linux, it will have to come installed on their machines.
However, I don't think this will hurt the pirates. Anyone willing to go to the lengths necessary to acquire the software and circumvent anti-piracy measures (serial numbers, dongles, etc.) is probably willing to put up with English menus. Photoshop and Illustrator aren't exactly language intensive applications -- they're intuitive graphics apps.
The people who will really suffer are the people who do pay for asian versions of Adobe's software (businesses, schools, etc.) and the employees who work on those versions at Adobe. If you're an internationalization guru who got laid off because international piracy is just too rampant, you're in trouble.
That was in March of 1999. I think marketing continued to talk people in the newsroom into accompanying WOW for a few more months, but I'm pretty sure it was shelved by the time I left a year later. It would be a shame if they're not using it any more, but I know one of the concerns was the value of the vehicle. It was so expensive the marketing people didn't feel comfortable driving it ("What if we got into an accident?", "What if someone tried to steal it?") and it had to be stored in some secure, undisclosed location. I'll bet the vice president has been living in it since September. :o)
WOW was really cool, but a few things stick out in my mind:
Several people actually came over and told us they thought the flashy vehicle's presence was a shameless promotion for the venerable Washington Post. One of them even promised to send a complaint to Katharine Graham, but I think he may have missed his medication that morning. :o) We laughed at him after he was out of earshot.
You can see a picture of WOW here, but I can't find any of its related promotional materials on washingtonpost.com today. At any rate, I thought the vehicle was an engineering marvel. Good work, Todd! :o)
Previously this was available only though special software which had to be purchased from Adobe. Now the operating system emables me to create documents with the assurance that it will be rendered on anyone's screen as it would have been rendered by my printer.
Beyond that, I know anyone can print their own hard copy of my document without any cross-platform problems. That's something MS Word cannot boast.
To get guns off the streets, some police departments hold an annual(?) amnesty day on which you can bring your gun (or "someone else's") to a designated place and they will buy it from you.
I'd like to see ABC, CBS and NBC bidding for my VCR. They probably wouldn't offer cash for the VCRs, though. They would each have their own version of TiVo that tracks your viewing habits, and they would invite you to trade in your clunky old box for a shiny new Big Brothe-- I mean, Personal Video Recorder. NBC would of course offer a discount on the MS HomeStation (since NBC and MS are so close) and a free Passport account.
Of course, I'll always have my computer's video card hooked up to the cable box...
Her job is specifically to cover the DC area's technology industry, which is saturated with people who work for government contractors or the federal government itself. In that sense, it's quite different from other areas of the country.
Traditionally, the DC area experiences an economic boom when the country goes to war (thousands of jobs are created, houses are built, etc.), so there may be jobs created there that don't exist where you live. Just something to bear in mind.
I hope the book publishers don't catch on to this:
</SARCASM>
So in my mind, I suppose I was thinking:
You mean, other than Microsoft's own insistence that:
"Trustworthy Computing" doesn't necessarily mean "secure computing." Microsoft wants you to think that, though, just like they want you to assume "we're innovating" means "we're making products better for you." (Incidentally, MS's definition of "innovation" means "finding new ways to solidify our market position.")
Anyone remember Bill Gates's deposition in the MS antitrust trial? His version of the English language is so far out of whack he spent most of each session professing to have no understanding of common words and terms.
In this case, "Trustworthy Computing" means "convincing computer users that they don't have to wory about security... that they can trust MS."
What would Bill say?
"First they punish us for innovation, and now they want to punish us for feeling insecure? That's incredible! Memo to marketing: words beginning with 'IN' no longer to be used in PR materials."
More importantly, we don't want to violate the Prime Directive.
Meteor Proves Life Exists Outside Europa; Church Attendance Plummets
By Kang Kodos
Europa Press Religion Writer
An oddly-shaped meteor fell from the sky at 1:24PM KST yesterday and crashed into one of Kataan province's largest churches.
A thorough inspection of the rock revealed tiny life forms heretofore unknown to Europeans. Prominent religionists hailed the event as proof that we are not alone in the Jupiter System, but cautioned that it could have far more profound effects.
"We may seriously have to question the existence of Dog," said Arch-Bluejay Glick. "Why would she have allowed these creatures to destroy one of her houses?"
The odd shape and markings on the meteor have lead religionists to suggest that the life forms may possess an intelligence far more advanced than our own, but all attempts to communicate with the life forms have failed thus far.
</SARCASM>
Unfortunately, he's not really measuring the distance between the centers of the two planetoids... he's measuring the distance between the top of some piece of equipment on the Moon and the lens of his telescope.
This reminds me of the human genome project. At some point, the scientists announced, "we've finished mapping the human genome! It's finished!" And as it turned out, it wasn't anywhere near completion. I believe it's still unfinished.
Is modern science really so desperate to inspire interest in people? Lies are not impressive.
Besides, it's only appropriate to follow up a "heralding the death of Napster" discussion with a "Napster founder predicts the death of Gnutella" discussion.
If only there was something like that available...
What do you do about the sites that require your credit card info (or similar information you can't alter). If the name or address you provide don't match what the credit card company has on file, they might not authorize the transaction.
Privacy statements are not intended to protect your privacy. They are often marketing ploys specifically engineered to gain your trust so the company can exploit it.
Think about it -- would you really know if the Web site was not honoring its privacy statement? Are there any laws forcing the site to follow its stated policy? If so, are those laws enforcible?
In some cases (perhaps pertaining to certain bank or medical information) there are laws protecting you, but never assume you're protected simply because a "privacy statement" says you are.
In this case, I'd love to see the defense attorney tell the judge: