This disgusts me. We need to come up with a test, to be administered at birth, to identify potential marketing/advertising types so we can leave them out to be devoured by wolves.
My friends and I spent countless hours in my parents' basement playing MechForce/BattleForce on my Amiga. Very, very good adaptation of BattleTech.
Other loves: Arcade - Robotron, Stargate, Tempest, Gyruss, Gauntlet, GORF, Last Mission (or was it "Final Mission"?).
Atari 800: Star Raiders, Invasion:Orion, Archon, Gauntlet (not the arcade game - this shareware was sort of a non-scrolling side-scrolling shooter. Was similar in concept to the arcade game Scramble, but much better).
Amiga: MechForce, Dungeon Master, F-16 Falcon.
DOS/Windows: Steel Panthers I & II (I am a tank buff), Space Empires 4, Diablo 1&2, X-Wing/Tie Fighter, Bolo (a puzzle game)
I was a big Atari fan back in The Day. I used Apple ][+ at high school, and had an Atari 800 at home. I had the Assembler cartridge, and JForth, neither of which I really did much with, which I deeply regret now. Most of my geek friends had C64s, though, and we had a lot of rivalry as to which was "better". But one thing we could all agree on was that the Ataris and Commodores were relatively even in abilities, and way, way better than the Apples, Timexs, TRS-80s, etc...
After that my 800, my next machine was an Amiga 500 (I reluctantly was forced to conclude that the Amigas were ahead of the Atari STs:-(). Then a bunch of IBM-contempible machines (though I have never bought an Intel CPU) starting with an AMD 386/40 which ran Coherent Unix for a while, through the Athlon 1900+ that died about 6 months ago. My last machine for a while is a dual 2.7GHz G5 PowerMac, supplementing my G4-800 PowerBook. Once OS X came out I had no reason to shun Apple anymore for the "computers for the rest of them" philosophy...
Crap, crap, crap! Forgot to switch to Plain Old Text. I'm an idiot.
And when I try to post it using plain text, Slashdot complains about an insufficient number of characters per line. Grr... Sorry guys, it was very funny.
>Thanks, Yaweh! I want a newer, better, more powerful God next time.
I'm not sure where this comes from, but I believe it can help you.
GOD'S TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE
God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.
Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.
1. How did you find out about your Deity?
___ Newspaper
___ Bible
___ Torah
___ Book of Mormon
___ Koran
___ Divine inspiration
___ Dead Sea Scrolls
___ My mama done tol' me
___ Near-death experience
___ Near-life experience
___ National Public Radio
___ Tabloid
___ Burning shrubbery
___ Other (specify): _____________
2. Which model Deity did you acquire?
___ Yahweh
___ Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak]
___ Jehovah
___ Jesus
___ Krishna
___ Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak]
___ Odin and entourage [Valhalla Pak]
___ Allah
___ Satan
___ Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature
___ God 1.0a (hairy thunderer)
___ God 1.0b (cosmic muffin)
___ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god
3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?
___ Yes
___ No
If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered here.
Please indicate all that apply:
___ Not eternal
___ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit the entire cosmos
___ Not omniscient
___ Not omnipotent
___ Not infinitely plastic (incapable of being all things to all creations)
___ Permits sex outside of marriage
___ Prohibits sex outside of marriage
___ Makes mistakes (Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Helms)
___ Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people
___ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched
___ Requires burnt offerings
___ Requires virgin sacrifices
___ Plays dice with the universe
4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a Deity?
Please check all that apply.
___ Indoctrinated by parents
___ Needed a reason to live
___ Indoctrinated by society
___ Needed focus in whom to despise
___ Imaginary friend grew up
___ Wanted to know Jesus in the Biblical sense
___ Graduated from the tooth fairy
___ Hate to think for myself
___ Wanted to meet girls/boys
___ Fear of death
___ Wanted to piss off parents
___ Needed a day away from work
___ Desperate need for certainty
___ Like organ music
___ Need to feel morally superior
___ Thought Jerry Falwell was cool
___ My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it
5. Have you ever worshipped a Deity before? If so, which false god were you fooled by? Please check all that apply.
___ Mick Jagger
___ Rajanish
___ Baal
___ The almighty dollar
___ Bill Gates
___ Left-wing liberalism
___ The radical right
___ Ra
___ Beelzebub
___ Barney T.B.P.D.
___ The Great Spirit
___ The Great Pumpkin
___ The sun
___ Elvis
___ Cindy Crawford
___ The moon
___ TV news
___ Burning shrubbery
___ Other: ________________
6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God? Please check all that apply.
__ Tarot __ Lottery __ Astrology
__ Television __ Fortune cookies __ Ann Landers
__ Psychic Friends Network __ Dianetics __ Palmistry
__ Playboy and/or Playgirl __ Self-help books __ Sex, drugs, rock and roll
__ Biorhythms __ Alcohol __ Bill Clinton
__ Tea leaves __ EST __ CompuServe
__ Mantras __ Jimmy Swaggert __ Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle)
__ Human sacrifice __ Pyramids __ Wandering in a desert
__ Burning shrubbery __ Barney T.B.P.D. __ Barney Fife
Other:___________
7. God employs a limited degree of divine intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer
(circle one)?
a. More divine intervention
b. Less divine intervention
c. Current level of divine intervention is just right
d. Don't know...what's divine intervention?
8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles. Please rate on
I have experience with the EFF, and I say they're great. See how easy it is to make unsubstantiated claims? Perhaps you should describe your bad experience. If you're not a troll, prove it.
I actually look aside while fast-forwarding past commercials. Based on timing, and the mix of colors I can see out of the corner of my eye, I can stop at the right spot probably 9 out of 10 times. The most common "false positive" I get is when, for example, there's a commercial for the Simpsons right before the show itself resumes after a break.
Slashdot Mirror
This disgusts me. We need to come up with a test, to be administered at birth, to identify potential marketing/advertising types so we can leave them out to be devoured by wolves.
> Seriously, if you have kids, do them a favor and get rid of a lot of them.
That works well for fish and insects, but humans and most other mammals tend to be very attached to their children.
Hmm, I think you want the "Itchy and Scratchy and Jar-Jar Show"...
You transposed a digit; that should have been 184652037437231293.
Every day I mourn "Dead Like Me". :-( Great show.
Nah, just bring plenty of SPF 10e250 sunblock.
Or maybe this should be cross-posted to the RISKS list?
Of course that was supposed to be "Rear Admiral". I've been typing read() a lot today...
As long as it wasn't the dreaded "Read Admiral".
I forgot to add StarFleet Command. Starfleet Battles on computer, a good thing.
My friends and I spent countless hours in my parents' basement playing MechForce/BattleForce on my Amiga. Very, very good adaptation of BattleTech.
Other loves:
Arcade - Robotron, Stargate, Tempest, Gyruss, Gauntlet, GORF, Last Mission (or was it "Final Mission"?).
Atari 800: Star Raiders, Invasion:Orion, Archon, Gauntlet (not the arcade game - this shareware was sort of a non-scrolling side-scrolling shooter. Was similar in concept to the arcade game Scramble, but much better).
Amiga: MechForce, Dungeon Master, F-16 Falcon.
DOS/Windows: Steel Panthers I & II (I am a tank buff), Space Empires 4, Diablo 1&2, X-Wing/Tie Fighter, Bolo (a puzzle game)
Text: Moria/Angband, A.D.O.M., Larn, nethack
>"Locksmith", a tool for breaking copy protection, was a successsful commercial product.
When I was in high school, my circle of geek friends all had pirated copies of Locksmith... and well-guarded printouts of parameter lists.
That was as far as I got with the player-missile stuff, too. I did write a "light cycles"-type game in Basic.
I was a big Atari fan back in The Day. I used Apple ][+ at high school, and had an Atari 800 at home. I had the Assembler cartridge, and JForth, neither of which I really did much with, which I deeply regret now. Most of my geek friends had C64s, though, and we had a lot of rivalry as to which was "better". But one thing we could all agree on was that the Ataris and Commodores were relatively even in abilities, and way, way better than the Apples, Timexs, TRS-80s, etc...
:-(). Then a bunch of IBM-contempible machines (though I have never bought an Intel CPU) starting with an AMD 386/40 which ran Coherent Unix for a while, through the Athlon 1900+ that died about 6 months ago. My last machine for a while is a dual 2.7GHz G5 PowerMac, supplementing my G4-800 PowerBook. Once OS X came out I had no reason to shun Apple anymore for the "computers for the rest of them" philosophy...
After that my 800, my next machine was an Amiga 500 (I reluctantly was forced to conclude that the Amigas were ahead of the Atari STs
Ahh, memories.
Everyone knows hockey is the one where the guy tries to kick the bat over the hoop.
My group did that, for a modern Call of Cthulhu game. It was fun.
Now that's funny. Thanks for a much-need laugh today :-).
Crap, crap, crap! Forgot to switch to Plain Old Text. I'm an idiot.
And when I try to post it using plain text, Slashdot complains about an insufficient number of characters per line. Grr... Sorry guys, it was very funny.
>Thanks, Yaweh! I want a newer, better, more powerful God next time. I'm not sure where this comes from, but I believe it can help you. GOD'S TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions. 1. How did you find out about your Deity? ___ Newspaper ___ Bible ___ Torah ___ Book of Mormon ___ Koran ___ Divine inspiration ___ Dead Sea Scrolls ___ My mama done tol' me ___ Near-death experience ___ Near-life experience ___ National Public Radio ___ Tabloid ___ Burning shrubbery ___ Other (specify): _____________ 2. Which model Deity did you acquire? ___ Yahweh ___ Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak] ___ Jehovah ___ Jesus ___ Krishna ___ Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak] ___ Odin and entourage [Valhalla Pak] ___ Allah ___ Satan ___ Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature ___ God 1.0a (hairy thunderer) ___ God 1.0b (cosmic muffin) ___ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god 3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes? ___ Yes ___ No If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered here. Please indicate all that apply: ___ Not eternal ___ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit the entire cosmos ___ Not omniscient ___ Not omnipotent ___ Not infinitely plastic (incapable of being all things to all creations) ___ Permits sex outside of marriage ___ Prohibits sex outside of marriage ___ Makes mistakes (Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Helms) ___ Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people ___ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched ___ Requires burnt offerings ___ Requires virgin sacrifices ___ Plays dice with the universe 4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a Deity? Please check all that apply. ___ Indoctrinated by parents ___ Needed a reason to live ___ Indoctrinated by society ___ Needed focus in whom to despise ___ Imaginary friend grew up ___ Wanted to know Jesus in the Biblical sense ___ Graduated from the tooth fairy ___ Hate to think for myself ___ Wanted to meet girls/boys ___ Fear of death ___ Wanted to piss off parents ___ Needed a day away from work ___ Desperate need for certainty ___ Like organ music ___ Need to feel morally superior ___ Thought Jerry Falwell was cool ___ My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it 5. Have you ever worshipped a Deity before? If so, which false god were you fooled by? Please check all that apply. ___ Mick Jagger ___ Rajanish ___ Baal ___ The almighty dollar ___ Bill Gates ___ Left-wing liberalism ___ The radical right ___ Ra ___ Beelzebub ___ Barney T.B.P.D. ___ The Great Spirit ___ The Great Pumpkin ___ The sun ___ Elvis ___ Cindy Crawford ___ The moon ___ TV news ___ Burning shrubbery ___ Other: ________________ 6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God? Please check all that apply. __ Tarot __ Lottery __ Astrology __ Television __ Fortune cookies __ Ann Landers __ Psychic Friends Network __ Dianetics __ Palmistry __ Playboy and/or Playgirl __ Self-help books __ Sex, drugs, rock and roll __ Biorhythms __ Alcohol __ Bill Clinton __ Tea leaves __ EST __ CompuServe __ Mantras __ Jimmy Swaggert __ Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle) __ Human sacrifice __ Pyramids __ Wandering in a desert __ Burning shrubbery __ Barney T.B.P.D. __ Barney Fife Other:___________ 7. God employs a limited degree of divine intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer (circle one)? a. More divine intervention b. Less divine intervention c. Current level of divine intervention is just right d. Don't know...what's divine intervention? 8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles. Please rate on
I do that, too. I used to call it "the hyper-advanced hunt&peck method" of typing...
Sorry, that information is classified.
I have experience with the EFF, and I say they're great. See how easy it is to make unsubstantiated claims? Perhaps you should describe your bad experience. If you're not a troll, prove it.
That's huge! Your PID is like 25 *times* greater than your UID!
:-)
Yes, I know what all the numbers mean, it's a joke
I actually look aside while fast-forwarding past commercials. Based on timing, and the mix of colors I can see out of the corner of my eye, I can stop at the right spot probably 9 out of 10 times. The most common "false positive" I get is when, for example, there's a commercial for the Simpsons right before the show itself resumes after a break.
Phew!