Slashdot Mirror
10 Best S/F Films That Never Existed
Jamie mentioned (via a Metafilter discussion) a great article entitled The 10 Best Sci-Fi Films that Never Existed. From the piece: "There was a movie that perfectly captured the Douglas Adams experience, the combination of bitter sarcasm and sharp imagination, the droll British wit and whale-exploding slapstick that infused his novels. And that movie was Shaun of the Dead. That movie was not, unfortunately, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a movie that floated around Hollywood for about 20 years before it finally appeared in theaters as a flat, lifeless, americanized lump that was mostly hated by people who liked the book and loathed by people who hated the book. "
As a filmmaker, and after reading this book cover to cover many times, I've come to the assumption that this book is truly unfilmable. I have read a few scripts based upon it found on the 'web, one particular written by Gibson himself, but there is just absolutely no way to capture the depth of environment this novel creates.
I don't care how big your budget is, it "ain't gonna happen."(tm)
- Just my $0.02, take with a grain of salt, your mileage may vary.
Gayniggers from Outer Space
:)
Oh wait, that's real
A: Do you remember seeing that one? ... but it was good
B: No
A: Me neither
B: Yeah, Totally
Okay, so this movie existed. But it was bad enough that it should never have existed! But then we wouldn't have it to kick around. Oh, it's so confusing!!
Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.
I, and most people I talked with and most critics actually LOVED the Hitchiker movie as much as a book. And that even though I was rather pessimistic before seeing it.
Fleur de Sel
http://72.14.207.104/search?q=cache:Da0Hr9qUAPcJ:w ww.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/scifi.html+&hl=en &gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1
It's so cinematic that I didn't just desperately want a movie to be made from it, I was always shocked they didn't make one.
Nope, a Neal Stephenson movie wouldn't work for the same (real) reason The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy didn't work. The joy of those books is in the expository language. Even the best adaptation would still disappoint the hardcore fans.
Imagine turning the Cap'n Crunch seen in Cryptonomicon into a movie -- Randy Waterhouse eats a bowl of cereal in a Manila hotel room. Woohoo!
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
At least Gibson's treatment for Neuromancer didn't get filmed. His script for Johnny Mnenomic did, and it was a complete and total atrocity.
(That said, his script for Alien 3 would probably have been better than the abortion that Fincher foisted off on us.)
News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters? Like hell.
...who has struggled for years to fund my various off-the-wall projects, like Best Served Cold I know how hard it is to do anything different.
:)
I've been working on the project that follows BSC for a year now. It's a cheesy B movie pisstake with zombies and alien bugs, and it'll be a scream. But can I get funding? No! My low budget productions are well made and funny as hell, but fundraising when you're deliberately making cheesy movies, or movies with gorgeous fat chicks, well, it's tough.
Anyone got $15,000 I can use?
Of course I'm sure it'll still be better in my head. :\
The pain was excruciating and the scarring is likely permanent, but that just means it's working.
There was a movie that perfectly captured the Douglas Adams experience, the combination of bitter sarcasm and sharp imagination, the droll British wit and whale-exploding slapstick that infused his novels. And that movie was Shaun of the Dead. That movie was not, unfortunately, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
In the words of Cartman's mom:
"Wha wha wha WHAAAAT?"
The script by Gibson is totally different than the muddled mess that Sony created. They took the film away from director Robert Longo, re-shot scenes, changed the music to their own bands, removed characters and development of characters (like Streeet Preacher), deleted most of the Japanese scenes, and eliminated the humor and satirical elements that the creators intended.
I've heard that the Japanese DVD is closer to the director's vision, but still not definitive or complete. Also, the Japanese DVD has lots of Japanese scenes with no subtitles. How about it, Sony? Let us see the film as the director and writer intended it to be. You have damaged both their reputations by creating a bastardized version of the film.
In a post-apocalyptic world where websites mysteriously drop from existance, server hardware is reduced to mere slag and ISP lawyers roam the shattered earth a hero shall rise.
Coming this summer from Forks Searchlight Entertainment:
ths slashdotting
crazy dynamite monkey
http://mirrordot.org/stories/c8cb0c1f698ecf7eb1013 d9430f1d980/index.html
The slashdot hivemind has decreed that you may not both like the Hitchhiker's Guide movie and be a Douglas Adams fan! Dissent shall not be brooked!
Who are you, thinking you have the right to form your own opinions about movies? Now back to the mines with thee!
Guess they weren't concerned with novels. Little things like Mote In God's Eye and Ringworld. Even Lucifer's Hammer blew away any of the meteor films that got made, although many stole from it. Science fiction novels done properly for cinema are virtually nonexistent. There are rare exceptions like 2001 but the script was by the writer of the novel and Directed by Kubrick of coarse.
People said the same thing about "Naked Lunch", but David Cronenberg did a fine job with it. Of course, it's a pretty radical spin on that work.
..posting your site on /. if it's going to fall over within 5 posts.
the Wachowskis thought that people went to see the movies because of the Car chases, bullets flying, and the Kung Fu fight scenes. Maybe some people did. But what got me hooked on the first was things like this line, "Knowing the path is different from walking the path." I thought, "Ooooo" these guys are going to do something different and possibly something that has a deeper meaning than, blam-blam-blam-blamblam-blam". But noooo, that's not how it turned out. And if they did it the way I thought they were going to do it, it would have cost much less and they would have made more money.
Although I'm sure many only know the character of Conan from John Milius' big screen romp with steroid-giant Ahnold (or possibly from the even more wretched TV series or the comic books), no one has yet had the guts to film a real movie based on the original Robert E. Howard stories from the 1930's.
The real REH Conan wasn't the dumb as a board Ahnold, he was a multilingual leader of men, an accomplished horseman, a stealthy and dextrous thief, and many other things that neither Milius nor Ahnold understood (and still don't to this day). He was a product of the pulp era and the Great Depression. He was the toughest guy not because he was chained (for no apparent reason) to a wheel for his entire life, but because he had survived as only the fittest did in his environment.
Hollywood very rarely avoids the trap of going for the "easy story". Why create a complex character that is truly interesting when a one-dimensional revenge-fest is so much easier to explain to a suit? Why respect the original stories when just grabbing the trademark name to use for promotion takes less time? Why cast an actor who can actually act when a steroid-giant looks so cool on screen?
I've given up on any story or book adaptation ever coming close to the original and hence am no longer disappointed. And that way I enjoy the very rare occasions when they do actually get it right. But for every Maltese Falcon there are hundreds of I, Robots.
An imperfect plan executed violently is far superior to a perfect plan. -- George Patton
I don't think Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy could ever have worked as a movie no matter who made it. It relied far too much on imagination and the images were so wacky that the act of trying to translate them into *actual* images on a screen could only ever diminish them.
Hexy - a strategy game for iPhone/iPod Touch
I can understand if the guy was pointing to specific versions of screenplays that never made it to the screen or where horribly compromised by hack job editors (i.e. what happened to Brazil when the Exec stuck goddamn LOVERBOY on the soundtrack and turned it into a romance. Or the massacred versions of Ciminos Heaven's Gate or Leone's Once Upon a Time in America) but what he has here is an uneven list fifteen year olds would come up with after sneaking too many of mom's Bacardi Breezers. The list leads off with the failed opportunity of Alien 3 to use William Gibson's script. But then he says Garth Jennings should have directed H2G2. Huh? Like he says Jennings had nothing in the movie but a bit part: he wasn't greenlighted at some point to be the director only to drop out, he didn't have a Paul Schaffer-esque moment where he made a movie (the Exorcist prequel) that was so hated by the suits that they remade the film with the same cast but a different director.
At that point the list goes from being missed opportunities to a wishlist. Even then some of the wishes make no sense: Tim Burton doing H2H2 sounds good... but why does this guy point to Willy Wonka of all movies? That's like seeing Francis Ford Coppola and saying "Yo I LOVED The Rainmaker!! Way to bring out the flavor in that John Grisham airport fodder!!" And I bet you could throw 500 million and all the talent in the world at a video game movie and still come up with a piece of shit. Doom hasn't ever been known for its gripping story.
My personal list of Best Movies Never Made? Well what about all the butcheries of Alan Moore's work? LXG is at the top of the list for greatest sins. And V for Vendetta as a look of being a seat of the pants rollercoaster ride (and so nothing like the source). And then there's all the weak sellouts of Philip K Dick's work (the Spielbergian twist on Minority Report) or Heinlein (Verhoven might have made a great political statement with his version of Starship Troopers if it wasn't moronic, badly acted, and the Sci-Fi equivalent of the WB).
What is music when you despise all sound?
Alien 3 was further brutalized by the studio cut that utterly ripped the guts out of the film. If you haven't already, go and watch the Director's Cut on the Quadriology (you can often rent it by itself). The film is infinitely better, and actually works as a small, dark, claustrophobic piece. It's not what fans were promised, it's not what they were expecting, it's not what should have been filmed. But it works. That's tough to admit, but it's nice to find a silver lining to the nightmare that was the movie's production.
Which brings me to...Alien 5
Since in the minds of Alien fans, Alien Vs. Predator simply does not exist, Alien 5 was intended to be something along the lines of what Alien 3's teaser promised. Long story short: James Cameron and Ridley Scott went to the studio with the pitch, the studio told them they were going to do A vs P instead, Cameron told them if that movie was made, he would walk. You know the rest. The film is officially, 100% dead.
I can't believe no Ellison stories were mentioned. His script for I, Robot was just amazing.
Just junk food for thought...
..posting your site on /. if it's going to fall over within 5 posts.
Problem loading page
The connection has timed out
The server at www.pointlesswasteoftime.com is taking too long to respond.
* The site could be slashdotted. Just give up until someone posts a mirror.
* If you are unable to load any pages, read some Vogon poetry.
* If your computer or network is protected by a firewall or proxy, give it a good, sharp, swift kick and curse at it. It won't change anything, but you'll feel better.
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
Read that as Ellison's I, Robot screenplay or Asimov's I, Robot stories, but don't please read it as I, Robot. Damn Hollywood for attaching one of my favorite childhood titles to a movie that had almost nothing to do with either Asimov's work or Ellison's brilliant (and never produced) screenplay. It deserved better.
it was better then I expected when - taking into account the fact that it was backed by disney. note: I'm a die hard H2G2 fan.
Not that it was perfect, far from it. It was a pretty good effort IMHO, with some great moments. some of them (the knitting stop-animation scene, for example) were great, even though I doubt DNA scripted them in. It was a worthy effort. Much better then the TV series, for example (and even better then some of the books).
Granted, the missed some of the better jokes ("I wish I listened to what my mother told me.." for example), but all in all, it was a good film. the fact that it wasn't a great success says more about the american audience then the quality of the flick - take a look at Kiss kiss, bang bang, which I thought was a great flick, but it totaly Bombed in the box office.
Odd John by Olaf Stapledon is a ground breaking but dated SF novel about a superior mutant kid growing up and finding others of his kind.
It is still in print, teamed up with a much better novel about an intelligent dog:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0486211339/
Now, the curious thing about the edition noted above is the copyright notice. It is: (c) 1961 by George Pal.
George Pal is the emigre filmmaker responsible for War of the Worlds, The Time Machine, The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao and many others.
Huh?
I puzzled over this for many years before meeting up with Forrey Ackerman. He had the dirt: George Pal bought the rights to Odd John but never had a chance to make movie out of it.
Robert Anton Wilson
Google Cache
Plus, I just have to copy and paste this quote for Snow Crash, I think it's hilarious because it's completely true:
"Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live,devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad."
So true, so true.
Left 4 Dead Gaming Group - http://www.l4dgg.com
And I haven't seen Shaun yet (bad Sammy! bad!) but I have to say that I'm inclined to agree.
I saw the movie with the Director, and I have to say it was the most fun I've ever had at a zombie movie. Something about the British sense of humour just does it for me.
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
You absolutely forgot Æon Flux, guys. The series was prodigal; the movie was a piece of soulless, mass-compatible hollywood crap. It definitely would've earned the top spot in this hall of shame.
quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur.
No, Doom needs a Paul Verhoeven.
I immediately thought, "of Showgirls fame. He's the guy who ruined Starship Troopers."
Then I read a little further and get to:
Have you seen Verhoeven's Starship Troopers? Imagine that film without all the political bullshit that nobody involved understood anyway.
WHAT?
The political bullshit was the whole damn novel! He took a political commentary and made it into an episode of 90210 in space, with some nudity and explosions thrown in to keep up the Verhoeven image.
Couldn't read any more after that.
William of Ockham had no beard. The most likely explanation is that it was chewed off by squirrels every morning.
Eek... it's about science fiction and still people come after you with torches and pitchforks.
Anywho... I have to be somewhere else... quick...
Bob Clampett was one of the loons responsible for Warner Brothers' stable of familiar characters. He also did a buncha shows on his own, including "Beany and Cecil."
Less well known: His attempt to make an animated version of Edgar Rice Burroughs' "John Carter of Mars" series (A Princess of Mars and so on).
http://www.johncolemanburroughs.com/0934.html
...people fantasize about the fucking sequels they'd like to see... What about Ringworld? Neuromancer? As for comparisons to the Matrix, The Futurological Congress would stop that shit - that's a story that could out-Matrix the Matrix.
I spend most of my time in bed, darling.
Terry Gilliam's film adaptation of Neil Gaiman's Good Omens for a start. It's dead.
Long ago, there were rumors of a version of Dune to be directed by Salvador Dali, and scored by Pink Floyd (sometime in the late 60s/early 70s). While it probably wouldn't have made much sense, it undoubtedly would have been beautiful.
There's been talk for a long time about a film adaptation of Patrick McGoohan's TV series, The Prisoner. That one went the way of the dodo.
Rumors got batted around about a sequel to Blade Runner, but not based directly on a PKD novel.
A lot has been said on the subject of adapting Piers Anthony's works to the screen, but little has been done, although A Spell for Chameleon is supposedly in the works right now.
Happiness is relative, Based upon the way we live.
I'd film it by putting a digital clock on the table. Hook the clock to a sensor pad. The clock starts when he puts the milk on it. Focus on how he keeps his eyes on the clock while eating.
Then, have the phone ring. He turns to the phone and drops his spoon. He reaches down to get the spoon, gets a bit frantic when he can't grab it, then grabs it and comes up. He stares at the timer.
"Fuck....."
Then he gets up, washes out the bowl, focus on all the cereal in the sink's drain. He dries the bowl. He dries the spoon. Then he takes them over to the table again.
He fills the bowl with cereal, re-sets the timer, looks up, goes to the phone and carefully unplugs it and wraps the cord around the receive. Then he goes back to the table and reaches for the milk
Don't focus on eating the cereal. Focus on the person who has a ritual that complicated just for eating cereal. Focus on the effects that interupting that ritual has on that person.
I think it's fantastic that we're beating the shit out of those extremist Muslims. They can slice people's heads off and oppress their women, but they take to the streets and set fires and kill people over a fucking cartoon.
As usual, liberals love them.
I agree absolute everything the author of TFA says.
Except, maybe the prequel+sequel thing about Matrix.
-Woof woof woof!
I'd like to see a movie of a Iain M. Banks Culture novel. Like Player of Games.
"as you try nervously to sneak out of the locker room before the big kids give you a Wedgie and a Tittie-Twister and a Dirty Sanchez, all that builds up into adulthood."
Wow.. I'm REALLY glad I didn't go to this guy's school.
Morgan Freeman was part of an effort to bring "Rendezvous with Rama" to theaters, some years back. Guess it's stalled?
I always thought "Redshift Rendezvous" would make a very cool film - I think the author once told me he'd sold the film rights, but at the time it would have been incredibly expensive to make. F/X and CGI being what they are now, it should be far more practical these days (look at "Son of the Mask", an obvious welfare program for unemployed computer animators...)
Hopefully someone realizes that there are stories out there more original than "musclemen with big guns (or magical chicks in tight leather) go after evil, mutant radioactive bad guys in a dank dungeon/urban slum/space colony" and consider making a film about it.
(Sorry, I should have put up a spoiler alert - I just gave away the plots of the next 10 "sci-fi" movies...)
Perfectly Normal Industries
Everyone remembers the exact moment when they realized that their Phanom Menace sandwich was filled with shit.
I think that would make a good Slashdot poll. When did you realize that George Lucas had defecated on your childhood memories?
- Opening sequence: "The taxation of trade routes to outlying systems is in dispute."
- First appearance of Jar Jar
- First mention of midi-chlorians
- The creepy virgin birth thingy
- First appearance of the annoying brat who played young Anikin
- First appearance of the wooden teen-aged brat who played older Anikin
- ???
Toronto-area transit rider? Rate your ride.
The Memory of Shadows!
should have proff-read that before posting..
He forgot Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars Trilogy. James Cameron was rumored to be making a film of it. Then nothing.
The hundreds of dropships launched from the Ares orbiting around Mars, the Martian landscapes, Underhill, the tent towns, the Martian Revolutions, the journey back to Earth, the colonization of Callisto, Mercury, Titania, and Venus and further with the Accelerando..
Wouldn't that be a fucking great film ? Come on! Weren't we talking about going back on Moon and further ?
I was given Neuromancer by Timothy Leary in 1986. At the time he was involved in trying to put together a film adaptation of Gibson's novel.
It took more than one try to get into the book, and I was likewise rewarded by a major realignment of my neural patterns. Part of the problem was that Neuromancer has a weak, bleak opening (particularly in comparison with Snow Crash).
I have always wondered what strange pathways Neuromancer took from there on its way to non-production.
nuff said.
Software Wars
Wheel of Time.
With all the Hollywood greed and current excitment over fantasy-style movies I deeply hope WoT never gets made into a movie.
To many religious undertones, (not like Narnia wasn't full of those); to much like politics of who/what is running the White Tower.
The Feminists would riot over the way the Red Ajaih are depicted.
The only "monsters" that Hollywood would like are they Trollics, and they are not a big-enough part of the story.
I love the books, I hope it never gets made into a movie.
"The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men." ~Plato (427-347 BC)
Yes he is, he's a terrible actor. All he can do is play wooden and whiny, and possibly a gay prostitute. I'm just going to assume that 90% of this was tongue-in-cheek.
this author, davd wong, good author. i've seen people say the same thing he just said, but less effectively, with ten more sentences to play with. he gets big ideas across forcibly and quick. sign of a good author
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
What's in the big pink box?
Orson Scott Card's books were fantastic. The movie is currently expected to be released in 2008; according to imdb. It will be very interesting to see the final product, if it is ever released.
Proof by very large bribes. QED.
I read the book because I found the concept interesting. It was a good read (though I had to filter out a lot of the thinly-disguised scientologist crap it contained), and a fantastic movie could have been made with the first 2/3 or so of it.
The movie we got out of it was just awful. AWFUL. So much more could have been done with it, at the very least an opening montage showing Earth getting conquered in a few hours as humans try to fight but are ultimately overwhelmed-- followed by a fade in with the words "1000 Years Later" and then the story picking up.
I could go on, but what would be the point?
On Bladerunner, I think it would be a horrible idea to make any sort of a sequel. That film is a masterpiece.
"sweet dreams are made of this..."
There've been a handful of attempts to film this Asimov short story (much later extended to novella length by Robert Silverberg). All attempts have been fucking miserable.
Christmas on Mars, due out in 2003!
Forget Doom...
Enders Game
Stranger in a Strangeland - purchased by Tom Hanks is the rumor
The Cat who could Walk Through Walls - Heinlin again
I have no mouth and I must Scream - Ellison
---In a time of Chimpanzees I was a Monkey.
Amen! When /. did 20 q's with Neil, I thought this question was the funniest of a dozen or more that harped on Niel S's endings. According to other comments in the above story, his own take is that he writes the endings he likes and that's that. He's happy with 'em.
Tragic.
Cap'n Crunch: Gads I loved that scene. Really though, the limitation with Crypto is more this one: Imagine taking 900+ pages of techno-thriller spanning 3 major characters and 60 years of American history and cramming it into 2 hours. That's 40 minutes of screen-time per character. *you* wanna try telling Bobby Shaftoe's entire story in less than 40 minutes of screen time? 'cause I sure as hell wouldn't.
Geeks in love. Oh, you said science fiction? Never mind.
Snow Crash would, imo, make a *fantastic* sci-fi.
How Politicians Lie: http://www.factcheck.org/
Do people never consider this is the problem when translating British comedy into something that needs to appeal to Americans? That British humor too often is entirely too dry? That while those who do appreciate it probably consider themselves more intelligent, that maybe it just doesn't appeal to everbody and that changing it to fit different tastes might not be a sin?
It seems like in this day and age it's far more of a "who you know" vs. a "what you know" world... (an opinion, I *could* be wrong...). I think a sci-fi story that really speaks to this notion and the absolute apparent unfairness of life is Niven's story, "A Gift From Earth." This is one I'd REALLY like to see put on film. It has the advantage of being from his popular "Known Space" series but stands alone rather nicely.
- Greedo shot first.
- Han Solo steps on Jabba's tail without getting killed.*
- BS explosion rings from the Death Stars.
- Ewoks Cartoon.
- Droids Cartoon.
- Star Wars Christmas Special.
- Ewoks instead of Wookies on Endor in RotJ.
My personal pick is when Greedo shot first.
(* Yes I know that it was because when they originally filmed the deleted scene Jabba was a man instead of a slug-like alien and Harrison Ford moved around him in ways that didn't work later, but this did sort of help break suspension of disbelief.)
If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
I can't get to the site, so I think we've succeeded in crushing it. So here's the list:
What about King's 'The Dark Tower' series?
Study the content (Science) of those cartoons (fiction):
#1: Many cartoons were created before, many insulting more than Mohammad, and none rioted in such a way.
#2: In dirt-poor towns, within a day of the un-affirmed and what appears to be an organized complaint, there are pristine replica flags burned; in an actual protest, flags are hand-made, whereas the flags that appeared within 24 hours were all the same dimensions and quality! That's not a protest, that's a pre-meditated effect of some kind and the protest to the mis-alligned artisanry is a lie.
#3: In Islam, as well as Christianity, it is misplaced to define a woman; God made man male and female, whereas a woman is declared by man because they Bear a child. Think of it this way: God assembled a package and recorded a message in that package; the package is delivered either male or female: postcards or postcards covered by an envelope: seed on the outside or seed on the inside. There is no such capacity as an "extremist Muslim" because one is either muslim or not(!) muslim. The scope of Islam has been swayed by the teachings of CIA-trained people founded and known as "Al-quaeda". Al-quaeda has no fidelity-oath to the Lord, therefore they are not muslim and are all liars.
#3: This word that you implicitly construe, "Liberal", is of incomplete and uncoordinated content. There is a corporation known as "Liberal Party", there is an certification or Article assigning or appointing a Liberal, but the manner you have used it is without base. Thomas Jefferson was known to be liberal, not by any manner as a Liberal that you have conveyed; and when he was elected as president to the United States he actually ordered a man to be severely punnished for not removing a hat upon the president appearing and given respect. If recourse to the use of art to insult the character of someone unable to respond (because they are dead in the flesh) is same basis as Thomas Jefferson returning ordinance for similar respects; the Constitution evinces this behaviour as that subject manner to Libel and Slander. Thomas Jefferson, as his previous countrymen, were duelists when settling their disputes on defamation of character: consider The Code of Honor, Or, Rules for the Government of Principals and Seconds in Dueling. Dafamation of character; do you want to put a value on someone's head (of state) that has been properly appraised of its value? Mohammad was known to have beheaded many heads, and the spirit of these events is true that even electing a president is the same likeness of decapitating one's mind and moving their body to the control of another: governors, presidents, etc.
#4: Muslims know they can set fire to their own property, and no good will come of setting fire to another's property. Were these muslims tresspassing on their Holy Scriptures and following the leadership and commands of others? The CIA has been running their psy-ops teams throughout the world looking for gullible and good-mannered people to lie and misplace their God-given reasoning to tresspass upon the Holy Scriptures.
Remember this: God is good, God is love, God is truth. Prove all things, whether they are of God or man.
God bless you.
Judge Dredd,
Oh and any Philip K. Dick Adaptation(Except blade runner, without the Harrison Ford Commentry)
Choose your allies carefully, it is highly unlikely you will be held accountable for the actions of your enemies
I'd like to see The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death on
the silver screen, myself. Or, if that's too challenging,
how about Yobgorgle, Mystery Monster of Lake Ontario.
Imagine, cinematically, the chicken-suit car purchase and a pink submarine
lurching onto shore in search of a really GOOD roast-beef sandwich.
Daniel Pinkwater is da bomb.
Favored books don't always work on screen (Dune didn't, IMHO, and
before that I was disappointed in the anime version of Lensman).
I figure I'm due for one that DOES work in film.
The movie was Terminators (or The Terminators). It came out around the same time as Terminator 1. To be honest, it was boring and predictable.
Finally, it got to the point where I sat up in my seat and thought "OOOH! now we're getting into the interesting story line! About 30 minutes later, the credits came up.
I've always described it as the worst movie I'd love to see the sequel to.
Free Software: Like love, it grows best when given away.
I didn't see anyone else post a mirror, if there is one i must be blind and im sorry but here:
So the news came out that the Half Life movie directed by Quentin Tarantino is destined to join the list of the greatest science fiction movies that were never actually filmed. It has damned good company...
by David Wong
10. The "Real" Alien 3
1992, Directed by, oh, let's say Ridley Scott
The most excited I've ever been to see a movie ever in my life was the moment I saw the first Alien 3 "teaser" trailer in 1991 (teasers are shot well before the movie itself is finished filming). It's the one that promised the aliens were coming to freaking Earth.
No, I didn't dream it . They really did show that trailer (they even have a copy of it HERE ), sending it to theaters before they had even started production, before they had even picked a script.
Visions of awesomeness flashed through my head, a Blade Runner-ish Earth with sprawling, filthy buildings, huge flashing billboards with giant Asian women on them, beat-up flying cars whooshing by and steam always rising from the streets for some reason. And then the aliens start breeding in the miles of dank sewers that tangle under the bustling streets, the creatures boiling up out of manholes by the hundreds, cut to pieces by Marines with pulse rifles and maybe in the climax the Army has to nuke the city...
"This movie can't possibly not be awesome!" I said to my little friend John at the time. "This is gonna make Aliens look like ET! I hope it's directed by the guy who will in the future direct Fight Club!"
A year and thirty fucking screenplays later (including this rejected script by William Gibson ) they came up with the movie that killed the franchise, squatted over the face of the corpse and farted. They had stumbled through concept after concept, built sets, tore them down, filmed scenes, threw them away, fired directors, fired crew. When Sigourney Weaver held out for more money, they wrote scripts without her, when she came back, they did rewrites to cram her back into the story again. Very late in the game they brought in a young director named David Fincher -- whose only experience was with Madonna videos -- to start shooting after most of the budget had already been scattered to the wind like parade confetti.
Article continues after this ad...
What squeezed out the other end of the development's digestive tract was a movie that, just seconds in, meaninglessly kills off the three characters Ripley spent the last movie saving. The hundreds of aliens were replaced with one small alien dog. The vast futuristic landscape was replaced by one dim, dirty building. The frantic gunfights were replaced by scenes of identical bald cast members staring quietly at the wall. The main character commits suicide at the end.
So What happened?
Budget, mostly. My Alien 3 would have cost twice what Aliens did, with its sprawling sets and dozens of animatronic creatures and costumes and explosions and CGI that was, at the time, still very expensive. At the end of all that you wind up with an R-rated sci-fi film with almost no chance of making back its budget (Aliens only made about $85 million, 150 if you adjust for inflation).
So they settled for this stripped-down version on a budget of $50 million (about 20% of which actually winds up on screen) filmed in an abandoned lead factory. Then they watched as fanboys like me piled into the theater on opening day anyway. Again, this is why they're rich film executives and I live in my car.
9. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
2005, directed by not Garth Jennings
There was a movie that perfectly captured the Douglas Ad
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
Although I'd never read the books and don't plan to. Fuck all ya'll hatas.
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
The book is pretty good. Its a coming of age story like Star Wars- a slave kid battles alien overlords of Earth and eventually wins.
The Kai's Semi-Updated Website Thingy
Speaking of Starship Troopers, I'd love to see a movie based on Stranger in a Strange Land.
I also want to see television series based on Methuselah's Children and the other books in that series, done as a true serial, with no forced episode plots.
C'mon, no one remembers "solid Krell metal"?? or THX1138, Lucas' first film ???? Or how about Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Edward James (Adama) Olmos, Daryl Hannah, and the lovely Sean Young in "he say you bladerunnah"??
Maybe someone else mentioned them. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe. "I just do eyes."
You missed the point here, buddy. The point is that Verhoeven knows how to direct bloody, violent sci-fi action. As in "imagine Starship Troopers without all the politics". You'd be left with silly dialogue, B-grade acting, but a violent, dark, atmospheric movie. In other words, what Doom should be.
Blade Runner was based on a Philip K. Dick novel that gibson would probably already have been familiar with.
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
The world needs a movie version of the Illuminatus! trilogy.
Blessed are the 1337, for they shall pwn the earth.
In the original book the soldiers have these wonderful robo-suits that turn them into supermen. The movie drops this, probably so you can see the actors' faces (ditto Dune). (I hear there a direct-to-video sequel that has the suits.)
At least the movie had some pretty good 3D graphics for its time. Plus it converted Heinlein's liberterian-fascism into humorous political parody.
Pretty much all of his books are like that, even the baroque cycle. The joy in a Stephenson book isn't getting to the end, it's the journey.
Of all of his books I've read maybe the Big-U has the best ending, and that's his least favorite book.
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
Sure, Kubrick's 2001 is awesome, but the ending is almost impossible to understand if you haven't read the novel. I'd like to see an alternate ending more faithful to Clarke's writings.
Circumcision is child abuse.
It was ruined. The director sucked so badly, no amount of bad George Clooney play could ruin the flaming ruins of the ruined story.
The entire point of Solaris (the book) is to show how can be impossible for us to even start communicating with an alien life-form. How do you communicate with an ocean that is so powerful, it can move planets, constract phantoms, bring back the memories of dead people into strange reality? None of this made it into the love story that Solaris became, and it wasn't even a good story.
Eeeeh, if I was a director on that film, it would have been way better as a sci-fi movie.
--
By the way, there are 2 stories that I want to see done well as movies: The Ring World by Neaven and Ender's Game by Card.
You can't handle the truth.
I wish they had made more of Heinlein's earlier novels into movies. My favorite from childhood was "Have Space Suit, Will Travel" about a nerdy teenager who wins a used spacesuit as a consolation prize, then accident gets embrolied in an intergalactic conflict with a bunch of zaney characters. I think the movie The Last Starfighter resembled this.
I also would like to see the cult classic Stranger in a Strange Land made into a movie. There's some political satire about religious fundamentalism that rings true today.
"But Episode I exist--"
"Yup, Star Wars Episode I."
Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
I'd really like to see Vurt as a movie. I know it will never be possible, even with modern CGI, but it would certainly be interesting.
Even Clarke himself cant agree on a ending. In 3001 he modifies some of the alien's powers (no spoliers) to make a better plot.
I think they did a good job translating Adams' very linguistic humour in to visual humour. His books weren't the kind of thing that could go untouched to screen, so much of the jokes are in the way it's written. That kind of stuff just doesn't work a lot of the time in what is an overwhelmingly visual medium. You HAVE to go visual with the humour, otherwise the movie doesn't work.
Also, that it was different and even contradictory to the books isn't a problem, that's just part of the show. The books are not in line with the radio series, or even with themselves. This isn't intended to be a Star Wars universe that's (allegedly) set in stone with canonical ideas that have to be respected in all works. It's a funny bunch of short stories, that became a funny bunch of novels, that became a funny movie.
The problem is the "hardcore" fans that have only ever read the books and seem to think that SciFi universes need to be really rigid and believable. They were expecting to see a perfect translation of the first book to screen, without ever really considering how such a thing might be accomplished, and were pissed that it didn't happen. To me this would be as silly as being angry because the novels weren't simply word of word transcriptions of the radio series.
They are different mediums, they need different stories, and I have nothing wrong with having the same story told to me many times, in different ways.
Not Sci-Fi, but Fantasy (related)...
Terry Prattchett is, hands down, the most interesting, entertaining, literate author writing today. His Discworld series consists of thirty novels, which somehow continue to get better with each sequel. (Of course, that's my opinion; your mileage may vary.)
But any movie based on a Discworld novel would fall even flatter than Hitchhiker did, for the same reason. You cannot put literature on the screen. The introduction to Death's domain in Mort would be reduced to a Burton-esque black-on-black manor and garden; any one of the descriptions of Great A'Tuin would become a laughable spacegoing turtle; L-Space would become a disorganized stack of bookshelves.
I buy every Discworld novel as soon as it is released in paperback, and buy another copy when the first starts falling apart from re-reading it so much. But I hope Prattchett never agrees to let some Hollywood hack--or even a great director--adapt one of his novels for the screen.
On the other hand, if Prattchett were to write an original screenplay, with the intention of having it filmed right from the beginning, that might work.
Find environmentally and socially responsible products on http://buy-right.net
No one has had the balls to do a Battletech/Mechwarrior movie. Something based on the Blood of Kerensky trilogy to flesh out the story, possibly a series of movies, done as a trilogy. This could be the next Star Wars if the story was done right, and with today's special effects, it would have it all: story, effects, characters you'd care about. Wtf mate?
kurzweil_freak
5th Kyu Genbukan Ninpo/KJJR student
Be the darkness that allows the light to shine.
I love this line, might become my new sig:
"Then again, when I was watching Predator I didn't think two members of its cast would become governors, either. So you never know."
Never let a lack of data get in the way of a good rant.
I just wonder if Heinein wasn't right about marriage contracts and open relationships. Just give it another 200-300 years and it may happen. He's predicted many other inventions that have come to pass.
Could someone please post a torrent to the Matremix when he's finished it?
I always thought this would make a great mini-series. It probably is a bit long for a movie, but the right script might work.
Wishing for novels or computer games to be made into movies, or better movies, is to be ridiculously naive about the moviemaking process. The problem with, say, the DOOM movie is that it's a dumb concept so it doesn't attract good people. Good people are a necessary, but not sufficient, precondition for a halfway decent movie. You options are to pay lots of money to find someone obviously good (e.g. Ridley Scott) and try to get them interested in your movie, or try to pick someone you think will be good, and hope...
Why has StarCraft not been made into a movie? It's not so incredibly well-known that someone with $50,000,000 can be reasonably sure that folks will watch it despite it having a no-name director and no-name actors, and it isn't that interesting a concept. Aliens, only bigger. People in power armor. More aliens. Big deal. Any fool can come up with this concept, and many have.
And even if you have a great concept, there are other obstacles.
Why has Snowcrash not been made into a movie? Not because of any conspiracy, but because it's in creative purgatory somewhere. I guarantee you that (a) someone owns the movie rights, (b) that person has been trying to put the project together since the book was written (or he/she got the rights from the last person), and (c) the project has looked like it might happen at least ten times. The same thing happens to pretty much every halfway decent novel. "Forever War" -- for example -- has been optioned since it was published, and has had directors such as Ridley Scott interested in it, but there are only so many projects a top guy (like Paul Verhoeven, for example) can take on, and stuff gets left by the wayside. Meanwhile, do you want your brilliant SF movie directed by Ridley Scott in ten years or whoever's available today? Down one path lies a movie that never gets made; down the other lies DOOM: The Movie.
Look at the books that do get made into movies... They're either something that has grabbed the attention of someone with serious clout (e.g. Clint Eastwood or Oprah or whoever) or they're absolute no-brainers ("The Da Vinci Code").
Aside:
Hitchhiker's Guide was originally a radio play, so statements (from TFA) such as "since most of the comedy was in the narrative language and descriptions" are baloney. This reminds me of the director of "The Saint" (the version with Val Kilmer) who referred to having researched "the original TV series" (sorry, bud, it was originally a series of books).
I want to see an ExoSquad movie! One that picks up where the series left off. They wrapped up one arc pretty well, but the last episode still left you hanging. Man it would be awesome. Sure it was a cartoon, but if you actually watch the entire series, it's damn good.
"This thing does science so hard, you say, 'I've never seen that much science.'" -Sam
Keep seeing recurring entries like 'Of course it would be better in my head'
Keep seeing good arguments for scrapping cinema as the tool of choice for giving us the experience we crave from the books we love.
Shouldn't we be discussing tools that create these experiences, making use of (dare I say 'leveraging') what's already *in our own minds*?!!?!??!??
Where the hell did this guy leave This Movie? Dali, Jodorowsky, Pink Floyd, Tangerine Dream, Giger (pre-alien), Orson Wells.
This is the greatest S/F film never made.
You mean like the 60s "free love" worked out?
Human societies don't work in an evolutionary fashion, they work in a revolutionary fashion. And that's not revolution as in "violent upheavel" that's revolution as in "going round in circles". In 300 years, there might be open families. And in another 300, it'll be back to the very strong view of marriage that considers divorce total anathema.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
They forgot one: Neuromancer by William Gibson.
No they didn't. You REALLY need to see Johnny Neumonic. It has some of Keanu's best 'Whoas' that he ever commited to film...
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
Virtual Light. I want a Hotspur Hussar.
MadOgre.com
I was about to post that as well. I actually got into the Rama books via the PC game of the late 90's. It's the only sci-fi series I've read the whole way through. We've been hearing about the Morgan Freeman-headed movie for YEARS now, and it keeps popping up every year or so. It's like the project that won't die.
IMDB has something listed as 2007, but there is another, short film made at the Tisch School for the Arts - http://www.joemiale.com/vid/rama01.mov It's kind of "green-screeny", but well done and I think captures the essence of the first time they enter Rama.
(I slightly rewrote the scene for effect. Director's license...)
"The White House is not an intelligence-gathering agency," -- Scott McClellan, Whitehouse spokesman.
YES!
:-).
I loved Have Spacesuit, Will Travel. It would make an awesome movie. It would attract every geek in the world, and most pre-teens. It's got something for everyone: teenager saves the world, cute but subtly powerful alien (the Mother Thing), dramatic action (march across the surface of the Moon; escaping from the bad aliens on Pluto).
Someone please make this movie. And make sure you do a good job at it
Don't underestimate the power of The Source
Yeah, they made a movie called I Robot. It wasn't Asimov's story, and it wasn't Ellison's magnificent screenplay--it was typical hollywood dreck eye-candy, and it was a total waste of time, money, and resources.
Someone show me an intelligent, dramatic movie of I, Robot or in fact ANY SF story, and I'll be happy.
(Note: "Intelligent" does not mean bullshit pseudoscience, and "dramatic" does not mean blowing shit up)
"People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die." -- Jim Davidson on alt.folklore.urban
Battlefield Earth - Done Right. Starship Troopers - Done Right. EON. Diamond Age. Odd Thomas. Ring World. Red Storm Rising. Mountains of Madness. Sir Machinery. I could go on.
MadOgre.com
Another one is Ender's Game. I'm still waiting for the Ender's Game movie. I think I started when I was in high school and now I have four children. And no, I didn't name one Ender.
I want "friday" only who plays her?
every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
Dan Simmons' Hyperion is one I always wanted to see on the screen.
How about "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress?" You've got the political upheaval, rebellion, and of course the potential really cool "bomb the Earth with rocks" sequence! Not to mention the intelligent computer!
I don't know about "Stranger in a Strange Land" - it really isn't something that I can see translating well to screen. "Revolt in 2100" might work better, or to really tick off the various religious groups - "Job, a comedy of errors."
The way I figure it, Episode I was a total waste of time. It was dull, badly written, poorly acted and just generally no damned good. What Liam Neeson was doing in this movie I'll never understand, and the introduction of idiocies like midichlorians and Anakin-as-Jesus-virgin-birth crap was nonsensical, and would require the most bizarre explanation for Anakin's brother Owen in the next film.
Agreed. Episode I raped my childhood. I've already gone off about midichlorians. The idea of Anakin being a created being caused by Sith force-manipulation of one of Shmi Skywalker's ova is interesting, but was introduced clumsily in Episode I. This revelation might have been something for a later episode. Or maybe an aside in a single prequel movie.
I always come back to it, again and again: Episodes I, II and III would have made a bitchen single movie.
Another thing that rankled about Episode I was the blatant pandering to the juvenile audience. Jar Jar Binks was only the tip of the iceberg. Young Anakin as a boy genius was just intolerable and gag-producing. Episode I didn't have to be kidvid. "The Phantom Edit" proved that.
Episode II just didn't seem to know where to go. Did it want to be Obiwan's detective story? Did it want to be the love affair between Anakin and Padme? About Anakin's descent into the dark side? The Sith's bizarre machinations (including a Sith apprentice who tells Anakin that "oh yeah, the Sith control the Senate")? Or is it a political thriller? It wanted to go so many places in two hours that it ultimately went very little distance at all. One way to have patched things up would have been for Anakin to become Darth Vader at the end of that film, which would have made the next film much more interesting.
Again, if the prequels had just been one movie, a lot of this weirdness could have been just asides and flashbacks. Also the main weakness of the film was the actor chosen to play Anakin as an adult. Sorry, but Hayden Christiansen falls completely flat as a pancake. He reminds me of the deer-caught-in-the-headlights performance of John Travolta as "The Boy In The Plastic Bubble." He might have been good elsewhere, but he was a bad Anakin.
Everyone screamed when Leonardo DiCaprio was considered as Anakin. However, he had chops as an actor before "Titanic," (Go rent "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" and "The Basketball Diaries" sometime) and he definitely showed he had chops and could portray a character like Anakin in the movie "The Aviator." DiCaprio's Howard Hughes was a swashbuckling, rogueish guy who started coming apart at the seams. Anakin Skywalker always struck me as a swashbuckling roguish guy who came apart at the seams. DiCaprio is going to wind up like fellow ex-teen idol Johnny Depp...a really awesome character actor who can do anything he wants to. I don't know if his oevre will be as quirky as Johnny Depp, whose work I love.
Episode III. As close as we'll ever get in Lucas's post-1980s world to a good Star Wars film. Still clunky, but at least the Emperor comes off interesting (by now he's clearly the only character in the prequels that is really all that interesting). Still, way too much deux ex machina. Anakin still seems to sort of abruptly become Darth Vader rather than a slow descent into evil (which is why I think the more natural transition would have been at the end of Episode II). The whole "my apprentice is in trouble" which gets the Emperor on a ship to fly to Vader's aid was the worst example. The ending was idiotic, the Darth Vader suit sequence seeming anticlimactic, and the whole bit about Padme dying not only ridiculously maudlin but making the Epside VI statement by Leia that she could still remember her mother rather odd, considering Luke didn't.
Episode III would provide the backbone to a potential "Mega Phantom Edit." Every important element that moved the plot forward in Episodes I and II could be told in flashback around the framework of Episode III.
The whole relationship between Padme and A
Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power multiplied.
The SciFi series that can't be filmed is Harry Turtledove's World War series, where lizard-like aliens land in the middle of World War II.
one of the best articles i've read in a long time.
Mod Article +5 Truly Entertaining.
I thought, "Ooooo" these guys are going to do something different and possibly something that has a deeper meaning than, blam-blam-blam-blamblam-blam". But noooo, that's not how it turned out.
Yeah, so true. The whole concept of the matrix was based on Plato's allegory of the 'man in the cave', so you think that they are going to do something deep and cool for the sequals. The action was cool in the second movie, but the plot let you scratching your head. Not because it was deep, or complicated, but just because you ended up saying 'why'?
The first movie had sort of an interesting message, that you can master yourself and your surroundings if you realize their nature. I can only guess at what sort of message you might get from the second and third movies. Perhaps the second was trying to make some sort of comment on free will being an illusion when making sequals to blockbuster films, and the third was saying that Jesus probably fought thousands of cloned kung-fu Romans.
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
Why? Because it was already ripped off profusely in "The Matrix." "The Matrix" made it absolutely impossible for a serious "Neuromancer" movie to be made. Ironically, "The Animatrix" was the best iteration of "The Matrix." Better than the first movie, which was damn good. And way, way better than the twin sequels.
Now "Snow Crash" would be a great subject for an Anime movie. Maybe Watanabe Shinichiro or Oshii Mamoru could be persuaded to make it. Or maybe Peter Chung. Ooh, a Peter Chung-designed Hiro Protagonist!!! That could be way cool. ^_^
Oh yeah, on one final note: the live action "Aeon Flux" movie totally blew whatever chances there were for an animated "Aeon Flux" movie. Total suckage. Poor Charlise Theron. You shouldn't have stuck your neck out for that one, literally and figuratively. Owww.
Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power multiplied.
Logan's Run, as written, would have been a great movie. Unfortunately, I don't think the effects technology was up to it.
So, instead, they rewrote it into this "machines take over the world" story. Not bad, I suppose, but actually doing the book--even with the bad special effects of the day--would have been preferable.
Of course, they're supposedly doing a remake, so there's a chance they'll get it right...
rj
"Have Space Suit" can be made into a movie, "Stranger" cannot. The amount of plot that fits is a film is around the amount you find in a short story, not a novel. This is why so few novels make good films: so much has to be removed that the result often falls apart. This is also why novel fans hate film version: so much stuff is gone. "Have Space Suit" is a juvenile novel, so it is much closer to a short story in content. In fact, I think that "Have Space Suit" would make a great movie: teenage boy save world from carnivorious space invaders!
Both "Stranger" and "Snow Crash" have far to complex plots to make good films. They also have major content problems. "Stranger" trashes sexual monogyny and both novels are very critical of religon, specifically Christianity. What do you think the religous right would do with a film that advocates polygyny, as "Stranger" does? What about a film that says that christian fundimentalism has been turned into a virus that is spread by drugs and sex as in "Snow Crash"? (I actually got a chance to ask Stephenson about this one year at the LA Times Book Fair. He was appearing to talk about "The System of the World" trilogy. During the Q & A I asked if he had any bad feedback about the religion as alien virus theme in "Snow Crash" and he said no one ever had any negative reaction. I was supprised. I assumed the christians would be rather upset.)
Another book I'd love to see on the big screen is "The Shadow of the Torturer" by Gene Wolfe. I think there was talk of this happening, but it fell through as do so many movie projects.
Oh and just about any Heinlein that has not already been made into a movie. "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress", "Stranger in a Strange Land", and "The Number of the Beast" would top my list.
Soylent Green is peoplicious!
God 3001 sucked. I'm sorry, I know it's off-topic, but a buddy of mine gave me a nice hardcover of 3001 when it came out because he knew I was such a fan of the 2001/2010 books/movies. Now 2069 isn't terrible, but it's not great. But 3001 is just plain terrible. Robotic dragons? WTF!?
Comment of the year
I'm an idiot - I had written a whole bunch of stuff that WERE book spoilers, but cut it at the last minute. However, I forgot to update the subject. *sheesh*
By Arthur C. Clarke. I was going to say why but can't bear spoiling surprises.
Lets look at 2 things in Eon, and see if they are familiar.. (1.) a virtual computer city outside of the real world where you could live in either reality. (2.) Go to the library to learn something, like how to play the guitar or speak russian, and it is downloaded into your brain.,, What movie made lonnnng after 1985 (when Eon was published) had these things in it ?
.. but you know, even though those two things have been "used", there is still an awful ot of AWESOME story left to Eon and the sequel Eternity to cover 2 or 3 movies.
waiting for ad.doubleclick.net
When I heard they were making the re-make, I assumed it would be a film based on the actual book, where the apes live in an advanced technological society (with a lot of monkey-related modifications, like bars everywhere that they swing around on).
Instead Burton chose to film a slightly different take on the first movie, which is obviously far different than the book (it explores different themes and so forth).
Leaves the book still ripe for a re-make, but then again, I suppose two ape movies is probably enough.
- AJ
Snow Crash, especially the pizza delivery part with Y.T. pooning the cars (reminds me of Jet Set/Grind Radio) would look fucking amazing, along with the rest of the book.
P roject is both insanely cool if done right (i.e. by the original director) because it will be great and everyone here in the US will finally know what I am talking about, but I also see that it has been floating around a while, and I have never seen that turn out well and the original director is working on something else right now, so I am VERY concerned.
I love dreaming of a SC film, and think I could do a really badass one, but StarCraft would be a little hard to do storywise (the story is there but having the characters interact to convey the story would be hard), and although the game is amazingly cool even years after, WAAAAY to much CG would be needed. 10 actors, actual models for maybe a few Terran vehicles and parts of a few Zerg, but CG all else... At worst is might look like a bad Aliens knockoff. I want a suit of Marine armor! Ghosts are badasses too. And Kerrigan is really hot. Okay, fanboy venting complete for that game!
I really liked the atmosphere in Tiberian Sun, and with a little work I'd like to see many of the ideas incorporated into a movie (the apocalyptic, dark, alien, gritty, near-future feel; CABAL, mutants, the Scrin ship, Ion storms, the space station, the cyborgs, the cool armor, etc.) even if it isn't actually a movie of the game.
Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds would own as a movie, but one movie wouldn't cut it. The entire series (four thick novels) would have to be done for any of it to make sense, and I am afraid of the size constraints like LOTR and (though I hate it I hear about it) Harry Potter.
It's not really SF, but the 1984 crossed with Lord of the Flies book Battle Royale by Koshun Takami is a really great read, and has already been made into a low-budget (i.e. bad) movie in Japan that is a cult favorite. Honestly, an Americanized version of this movie couldn't be worse, and could actually be really good, like the book (which doesn't feel weird for an American the way some Japanese films do).
Starfish by Peter Watts (available for until reprint here http://rifters.com/real/shorts.htm under CC license) could make a really interesting movie, but there is perhaps too much thought and too little dialogue to do without a little creativity or unconventionality. It also isn't really a book for everyone, especially kids. One reviewer called it "horrific porn". But hey, we're all into that kind of stuff. Right? Guys? Guys?
On a a couople of side notes: Hyperion and Dune are too awesome for film. I doubt that it can be done. I predict the Ender's Game movie will suck, and I dread its release. The Resident Evil games, all of them, could have been exactly the same but live action and with updated effects and fewer puzzles, and been awesome movies, and I suspect the Silent Hill series could be too. Valkyrie Profile could also be an awesome movie.
Neon Genesis Evangelion and End of Evangelion is the best anime of all time, and the one of the best SF of all time, and also one of if not the best film/tv series of any kind of all time. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Untitled_Evangelion_
I think I am forgetting something.
The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it. - William Gibson
the John Varley first-of-trilogy. That has potential for some visual spectacle, as well as a few ideas not done to death in movies.
Some see the vessel as half full; others see it as half-empty; We pour it out on the floor and laugh
If you have read it you know why. I would love a properly adapted movie version of this book.
Another great movie could be one based on Larry Niven's Ringworld. The movie rights were sold several years ago, isn't it?
:(
Sadly, the project seems to be dead... It's a pity
Reality is just a point of view (Philip K. Dick)
Imagine a system where multiple authors could contribute to a WIP screenplay, with a group of project leaders at the helm. A movie studio could purchase the rights to a project, and the contributors would donate the proceeds to charities and foundations of their choosing, divided as desired. In exchange, those so devoted and committed would receive rights to approve and nix studio decisions on visualisations, casting, and staffing (i.e no Uwe Boll), in addition to being able to sleep soundly at night, knowing that the works which inspired them will be preserved in spirit.
During the authoring and editing process, discussions much like those which are held on this very page could help resolve disputes or vagaries in the adaptation. Slashcode is great this way. You visit your personalized SlashScript homepage and see all of the adaptations-in-progess that you are interested in, posted by discussion topic and franchise. Click. Read. Participate. If you are so inclined, become a project contributor. If not, add your two cents to a particular issue.
So read the comments in this discusion.
Realize the potential we have collectively to produce works which will encourage future generations to pursue interests in computer sciences, physics, and freaky flights of fantasy. Let Keanu Reeves never be cast as an intelligent character again. Let terrible directors be dismissed, and idiotic screenplays be tossed in the rubbish. Let there never be another "I, Robot", "Alien 3", "Doom", "Resident Evil", or what may turn out to be a very bad X-Men 3.
The incentive for studios? Classics like 2001. Reduced price on screenplays. Favorable press for charitable donations.
WHO'S WITH ME?!? (I've never shouted on /. before)
This would have required only minimal changes to the sequencing of things, and could have shown off off the fall of the Old Republic as an honest-to-goodness tragedy. Having the Sith successfully playing off two honestly well-intentioned sides against each other could have worked out excellently well.
What was also unfortunate is that little more than lip-service was paid to the various "failures of democracy." It seemed to me that when Dooku explained, in Kenobi's earshot, why he was collecting up forces to oppose what was going on in the parliament, he had some pretty legitimate reasons for concern.
Unfortunately, all we saw, after the various "things failing," was that people seized at power of one sort or another to respond to them. What perhaps wasn't clear enough was that seizure of power was, in every case, a mistake.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
I'd be the first to argue that Neuromancer is no great piece of literature, but, I feel the need to say a couple things:
* Sure, it's beginning is slow. But then again, think about it, most of the book really is. It's a langorous journey, not a mad rush. Yes, it has it's action sequences, but like the rest of Gibson's work (all that I can speak of that is.... I still haven't read pattern recognition), it's not the action that defines it. It is the almost dream like quality that his books have, while remaining rooted firmly in their reality that makes them some of my favorites to sit down and just enjoy. Gibson in my opinion has a wonderful ability to take a small topic and weave it into something wonderful, as he does in his short fiction. The movie Johnny Mnemnonic may be infamously bad (I can't, alas, testify), however, the short story is quite a piece of work. Read the New Rose Hotel. Yes, Gibson writes a bleak, dystopia of a future, but it feels bleak much in the way that a foggy beach, or broken neon is bleak. Bleak, but beautiful, and quite enjoyable to take in
* Compare that to Snow Crash, which, while enjoyable, has too much action (In a sense, as that point is arguable), and has a tendency to bend away into plain wierdness. I think that's why I enjoyed Cryptonomicon more, was because it felt more thought out, and showed the talent Stephenson has, rather than just his stylistic (and sometimes shallow feeling) views. I get the impression sometimes that Stephenson is a bit of a topical bulldog, and has a hard time letting go of an idea. Stephenson's writing, at least, in snow crash, comes off as almost a candy coated dystopian vision of the future, filled with neon, lazers and headphones.
So many other folks don't seem to get how the Jedi Order in the prequels was intentionally a bit crap. The "return" in ROTJ means Luke is restarting the Jedi, but it also means that the purity has returned, the Jedi are back to their ideal.
Note how neither Yoda nor Obi-Wan try to teach Jedi culture to Luke. No "council", no rules, no "padawan" or other ranks. If they hadn't the time while alive, they could still do it while blue and glowy - but no. I'd call that deliberate.
Another movie that should never be made because they will completely fuck it up is A Confederacy of Dunces. I hear they already cast fucking Will Ferrell and that sunken cunt Drew Barrymore. Now Will Ferrell is actually a pretty funny guy but he has NO WHERE NEAR the depth and intelligence required to portray Ignatius Reilly.
God damn fuck them to all to hell if they dare violate the creative genius of John Kennedy Toole with some crass horseshit movie. How offensive would it be? Think Mohommad with a bomb-hat times infinity.
I must be the only geek in the world who thinks Neuromancer sucks monkey. I have tried to read that book a dozen times (really!). I made it about 3/4 of the way through, once, but got, well, bored. The characters were poorly-drawn, the science-fiction aspect had been done better before (and wasn't that good to start with), and his writing style was self-absorbed. He set it in some sort of "underground," as if he were inventing urban science fiction.
But maybe that's just me.
Microsoft is to software what Budweiser is to beer.
I've heard rumors of a Watchmen movie almost since the graphic novel came out. I'll believe it when I see it. I think it's probably unfilmable, or if they make the attempt, it'll have all the depth of the Batman movies.
There is just too much going on in those books for even a 3 hour movie. Maybe you could strip it down to bare plot--the good guy is really a villain, but who does evil to save the world--and it would even have some topicality. But no intricacy could possibly be left. You couldn't even do justice to telling the stories of each of the several characters--which means that some would necessarily be shortchanged; and I don't think that would be possible simply because each character represents a different, important, view of the world. Cutting one out would skew the whole perspective to the remaining characters, and that wouldn't be right either.
--
$tar -xvf
I thought it was the best part of the film, actually. (And I'm a big DNA fan. Thought the rest of the movie basically sucked.)
(I didn't think it was funny, no, but I still thought it was the best part of the film.)
Dlugar
Computer Go: Writing Software to Play the Ancient Game of Go
That movie was not, unfortunately, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a movie that floated around Hollywood for about 20 years before it finally appeared in theaters as a flat, lifeless, americanized lump that was mostly hated by people who liked the book and loathed by people who hated the book."
I'm going to have to call "excessive snootyness" on his comments in general. The book was, indeed, fantastic. As such, it would be very difficult to distill it in a manner that is going to suit everyone's tastes. I was not personally expecting an opportunity to "read the movie," but just have an overall enjoyable experience.
To put things in perspective, how many of these movies will have the persistence of works from Kurosawa, Goddard, and Hitchcock? Perhaps, only time will tell.
For cyberpunk-ish novels, I vote for Daniel Keys Moran's Emerald Eyes, The Long Run and The Last Dancer trilogy. The battle scenes with the PKF Elite would be worth it. Dunno how they'd work out The Ring as a character, but they could probably do up some Matrix-esque streaming green letter outline of an amorphous blob type thing that would get the point across.
The Spoon
Updated 6/28/2011
I think I'd rather see a good movie treatment of "Doc" Smith's Skylark series. It would be perfect for a trilogy. Start with Skylark, then move to Skylark II and then finish up with Skylark of Valeron. I really want to see the sequence where Dick Seaton creates the Skylark of Valeron. Done right it would have the audience gibbering at how cool the FX are.
Skylark had very good characters (of course the dialogue was horrible and would need to be rewritten for the movies. "Doc" wasn't strong on dialogue) and a very snappy story line... complete with a truly nasty bad guy (Blackie Duequesne), chases, betrayals, kidnapping, evil corporations, and two love stories.
In a completely seperate vein, I'd like to see someone do an autobiographical movie of Nikola Tesla. Get Mira Furlan to play his Mom. She is from Croatia and has the true acting strength to play the biggest single influence on one of the greatest minds in history.
- I.V.
"These laws they're passing won't even compile anymore, let alone execute." - anon
No -one has seen Charlie kaufman's script for this? Google it. This is the best SF book ever written and would no doubt blow everything else up and leave you feeling you were suffering MPD when you came out of the cinema if Mr Kaufman wrote it....
I also have started trying to get this concept through to a couple of people here in Sydney, Australia. The idea of OpenSource Cinema/Theatre has a great deal of potential in my opinion - people would be free to film the bits they want to film, cut and mash the bits how they want, re-write, localise etc. I know cinema has big budgets but it doesn't have to be like that. Good stuff will naturally get enough attention to be taken to the next stage given enough time. An an exercise I started scripting P.K Dick's The Man in the High Castle into a shooting script. I didn't get nearly as far through it as I wanted to, but imagine if there were half a dozen writers that were equally as keen, we could have a decent enough draft to start refining. The Man in the High Castle couldn't be done Open Source, but you get the drift... I hope?
I just can't be bothered.
In fact, that's what Shaun of the Dead felt like - a failed student film. The entire thing rang false and contrived on every note. Every dialogue joke tanked, every bit of stage humor fell flat, every scene with emotional intensity rang false. Utter, utter shite. I simply cannot comprehend its blockbuster success over a hundred other far superior indy British comedies made in recent years.
A-Bomb
95% of fantasy movies suck... except for bits of LOTR and of course Excallibur.
I wish someone (who can direct) that loves the books Dragon Lance and Wheel of Time turned them into trilogies. I would be in heaven!
it was just a question of stop being book's orthodoxe and proper amount of ganja in pipe.
The reason Yoda and Obi-Wan didn't teach Jedi culture to Luke was because Lucas hadn't made it up yet.
That classic S/F tv show scared the crap outta me when I was a kid... nightmares for days after some episodes I tell ya!
SEO Copywriter. Just Say ON
I'm with you. This is a great idea. If only I had your email address...
Math is math. Regular expression is regular expression. The tools are there. The future is now.
>Ten best S/F movies that never existed
Except that none of those mentioned are S/F! They are fantasy and horror and the writer of the article surely has a sick mind. I am afraid one day he will run amok and shoot real world people by the dozen to fulfill his dreams about those bloody and gutty Doom and Alien movies he envisions. There must be some big problem in Hollywood if the success of any movie is measured by the number of people and monsters killed in it.
For your information, SF means science fiction. Muscular superheros shooting and chopping up ugly giant bugs, while saving then fucking scantly clad big-tits blondes and redhead is a genre called fantasy.
There are very few SF writers, because to qualify their works should have a sound scientific method or worldview and also their novel should have the fiction, the artistic literature element also called talent. The so called Hard-SF meets the first, but misses the second requirement and so becomes worthless not being a piece of literature.
Nowadays SF essentially does not exist anymore, all publications are soft or hard fantasy. The classic SF is gone due to disillusionment, because there has not been any sound scientific progress in the last 60 years. All the shiny high-tech equipment around us is just that, technology, developed from scientific knowledge gained before 1947. The demise of SF shows what dead-end our contemporary science has ran into.
Anything by Zelazny, though probably 'Lord of Light' will be first.
/.ers have not mentioned either of these yet. Could it be that reading of books is a dying art and people do not KNOW any stories which are not already in film or computer game?
The Blish 'Cities in Flight' series.
I can't believe that
(and for the obligatory silly item - 'Send for Johnny Danger' by M E Patchett - the first SF book I ever read.)
PS That reminds me - T Pratchett's books should be withdrawn from American circulation, since they obviously don't appreciate them.
A modern version of "The Power," this time true to the novel by Frank M. Robinson. This book is so written to be turned into a movie that there was no good reason to dumb it down and remove all the cool philosophical and psychological bits from the book. Of course, in 1968 movies could not be that dark, but today it should be possible to turn this book into a kickass SF/mystery movie.
ANY book by Philip K. Dick, directed by Terry Gilliam.
I RTFA, and saw that the author complained about how terrible the movie was... but this was Douglas Adams' script. So, there's no sense complaining about the writing when the original author has written the dialogue.
Julian May's excellent Milieu Saga (and the following Golden Torc series). Drama. War. Science. Action. Intrigue and mystery, and some humour. It would make a brilliant trilogy of movies imho.
Why not a movie adaption of H P Lovecraft & August Derleth's most excellent "Lurker at the threshold". I'd very dearly love to see this made into a movie.
Dave
Slashdot can go and get fucked.
But look at the works of hackers. Do we ever finish? How many projects on Sourceforge have actually reached 'Stable' status? How many of Google's toys aren't Beta? How many programs on your computer, that you rely on every day, have a version number looking like 0.99.997, just because of the hacker's fear of declaring something finished?
We never finish. We always keep the lid off the case, we tinker on the fly, we reconfigure at the drop of a hat to suit ourselves.
But Neal Stephenson has publishers. Publishers insist that sooner or later the book must end so that it can go to print. And so after a certain point, he begins looking for an opportunity to bail out, and leaves the story at the next exit.
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
I actually did that, just for the hell of it. It wasn't 100 minutes, but 117 isn't too far off. As to whether it flattened anyone's balls, I couldn't really say - but I do know it's now the only way I can watch the sequels, because it made me realise just how awfully bloated and padded and pretentious they are.
The major changes:
All the 'Trinity's death' dream sequence (and references to it) removed.
Film now starts with Smith possessing Bane, then cuts to Neo jolting awake on the Neb as if that's what woke him.
Meeting of the captains shortened.
Arrival at Zion shortened.
The Kid excised almost completely (I accidentally left one shot of him in).
The rave deleted.
Neo's fight with Seraph removed.
The Oracle's conversation with Neo shortened.
Most of the meeting with the Merovingian taken out (including the 'virtual orgasm').
Chateau fight shortened.
Twins fight shortened.
Car chase shortened.
Fight between Morpheus and the Agent deleted.
The scene where the Machines destroy one of the ships re-edited to take out the 'WTF?' accident that kills the crew (now they just get blown up).
The Architect's bafflegab shortened.
Trinity/Agent fight shortened.
Trinity doesn't get shot while falling - Neo simply grabs her, so the scene of him taking out the bullet also goes.
The 'DUN!' ending of Reloaded re-edited using a shot from Revolutions so that the two films blend together.
The entire Mobil Avenue/Club Hel/Morpheus and Trinity meet the Oracle section deleted.
Neo's meeting with the Oracle shortened.
Smith's meeting with the Oracle, ditto.
The standoff between Neo and Bane as Trinity's held hostage removed.
The three stories at the climax are now intercut - Neo's flight to Machine City, the Hammer's Sewer Shark fight and the Battle of Zion now all take place at once.
Huge amount of cutting of the Battle of Zion - the only minor character who now gets any screentime is Mifune (Zee and all her pals are completely gone).
Major re-editing so that Mifune, not The Kid, opens the door.
Trinity's death scene cut by three frickin' minutes!
Super Burly Brawl shortened.
Meeting between the Oracle and the Architect cut - the film now ends with Neo's apotheosis cutting straight to sunrise over the Matrix.
All done using iMovie and iDVD! I know that some Matrix purists were enraged by the mere idea of cutting any of the existential dialogue when I posted about this elsewhere, but screw 'em - if you live your life according to the philosophy of a movie, you've got bigger problems than some guy doing his own edit of it.
You must think in Russian.
... which is going to be made,
but I'm very worried.
M G Dantec is one of the best (few) french SF writters and Babylon Babies is probably his most impressive work, very clever and with a very strong cinematographic potential.
Those are easy.
1. Bladerunner
2. Gattacca
3. Alien
4. The Terminator
5. The Empire Strikes Back
6. Aliens
7. Forbidden Planet
8. The Astronaut's Wife
9. Solaris (the one with George Clooney)
10. Wargames
11. Predator
12. Terminator 2
I listed 12... so sue me !
The whole article is bull exhaust; you lives with what you're given, you don't bitch about it.
Any Star Trek Voyager
.. umm.
Neuromancer - William Gibson
Revelation Space - Alastair Reynolds
Blood Music - Great Bear
Despite the crapness of "I Robot"... Asimovian robots would *never* have done that
The God's themselves - Isaac Asimov
The Player of Games - Iain M Banks
The Forever War - Joe Hadleman
Others !
Too much blame in the article assigned to David Fincher. Fox studio executives are the real bad guys - constantly changing their concept of what they wanted Alien3 to be. They threw so much development money at a host of screenwriters and directors (Vincent Ward was an intriguing choice to direct, and David Twohy had a well thought out take, too), that after about two years and little progress, they had a choice: pull the plug entirely, therefore wasting those invested millions, or do a quick hack job to get some sort of film with "Alien" on the nameplate.
p redator.html) but it was ignored in favor of Paul Anderson's "clean sheet" draft.
David Fincher was little more than a director for hire. The final script is credited to Walter Hill and David Giler, who essentially cobbled together a semi-workable plot from all of the so-far submitted scripts and treatments.
Sigourney Weaver had a lot of input, too - her insistence on little or no gunplay (typical Hollywood anti-gunner) virtually assured it wouldn't be another Aliens-style actionfest.
Aliens Vs. Predator should have been awesome - a decent director was chosen (Paul W.S. Anderson), but the man doesn't write particularly well, and the film screws with the mythos too much, with the Aliens already appearing on Earth (Alien and Aliens were scary because it was humankind's first encounter with them), and alien chestbursters gestating far too quickly (hours instead of days).
Peter Briggs wrote a spec script for Aliens vs. Predator that really rocked (read it here:http://www.horrorlair.com/scripts/aliens_vs_
If you remember, they had 3-d moving holographic projectors in Star Wars. Padme would probably been filmed a lot as a high-ranking person so Leia may have seen those.
See my journal, I write things there
Zahn gives us
Perhaps we're better off that Heir to the Empire exists only as a book. Hollywood would only screw it up.
Zarn
I've never understood the bickering about Matirx 2.
... absolutely hilarious. ... There are some more scenes that are quite good aswell (and I don't even mean the Smith-Brawl), but that is the bulk of what makes the movie really worthwhile to me.
People keep telling me it doens't have a good plot. And it's just more of what was cool in Matrix 1.
No, Really? WHO CARES if it has no Plot! I don't even bother to follow the plot. And having more of what was cool in Matrix 1 is the whole point of making a sequel. And admit it, Matrix 2 excells at doing just that.
I personally very much enjoy Matrix 2 as an extended over-the-top MTV videoclip with cool Shadorun Cyberpunk poses and some neat effects and ideas put to life. The people making Matrix 2 had fun doing it and it shows in every part of the movie. No plot needed. Period.
On top of that it has some of the coolest scenes in recent filmmaking. I'll try to name them (no specific order):
1.) Morpheus Speach - Now THAT is a cool movie speech. I'd say one of the best ever. The closing plea of the good guy lawyer in "Snow falling on Chedars" is a simular good one that comes to mind, but the Morpheus speach rules.
2.) The love scene (intercut with rave) - The best love scene involving sex I've seen in an american movie. At last a hollywood love scene that doesn't suck.
3.) The Twins (and their few but quality wisecrack remarks) - "We are getting aggrevated." "Yes we are."; "Could we move along?"
4.) Parking Garage Fight - One of those scenes that show that this is more of a Shadowrun Videoclip than anything else. Short and only a prelude to the chase and highway scenes but perfectly coreographed. Every character in the scene has it's place including the Keymaker that hardly appears (he's only a plot device in a movie that doesn't want and need a plot)
5.) Highway - all of it; emphasis on Morpheus welcoming the Twins with a Katana and a SMG (what a shot, comes close to the classic Decker hanging from the scyscraper by two fingers))
6.) "Now that's a cool trick" / "Das ist ja ein cooler trick."- I mention this because the german synchorised version of Trinitys line comes across so witty and faceless I nearly pee myself everytime I hear it. One of the rare cases where the dub is so much better than the original. I actually switch languages to german whenever the scene comes up. I'd have Kari Anne Moss redub that in the tone of the german version for a special edition if I could. It's that funny.
7.) Various other witty one/twoliners - "... you're way up in the mountains." "Really?"; "Yes. Me, me, me" "...And me too."; etc...
Given, the sad and sorry attempts at philosophy in the movie really suck big time and for those who really want a plot I'd recommend not to watch this one. But if you're into cool scenes and action this movie totally rocks.
My two cents on Matrix 2.
We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca
You mean "Dune! Starring Sting!" ???? What an abomination. The marketing for that movie played up Sting's role as Feyd Ratha (my spelling may be way way off - it's been a while), like it was all that mattered. I heard they spent a fortune for just one dumb scene where a few people walk by an enormous effect shot. The Still Suits were an awful interpretation of Herbert's idea: those poor Freemen would have died off real quick. And the magical ending, where the hell did that come from?
I can't even remember all the other objections to the movie at the time, but there were many.
What were the movie's redeeming features:
Actors, Patrick Stewart, Kyle MacLachlan, Max von Sydow, Dean Stockwell. I don't remember how good or bad they were in Dune, but they're all great actors in general.
A very young, wickedly smart Alicia Witt. She sure grew up!
My favorite 'interpretation' of Dune remains the National Lampoon parody. I invoke the Amway Rule!
RETURN without GOSUB in line 1050
Part of SIASL was "used" in the first year of Star Trek where they rescue a teenager from a long ago crash. The teenager was given strong psychic powers by the resident aliensm, but he abuses these powers.
I went through an "All Ellison, All the Time" phase. The stories are fantastic, and generally warped my outlook. As a side affect, I spent some of my time between volumes just thinking "Get it out! Get it out of my brain!" Ah...good times.
Where is Buckaroo Banzai vs The World Crime Leauge?!?
entirely enjoyed the movie adaptation of Adams' work. I had the joy and honor of being able to attend a lecture session with Douglas Adams about a month before he passed away, at the campus of Michigan Technological University in Houghton, MI. At the lecture he went into great detail about what he was trying to accomplish with a movie that he imagined would never end up getting made, but asked us all to support it and cross our fingers that Hollywood would see fit to eventually see the movie finished. I heard and absorbed every word he spoke about his intent and his desire in the making of the movie, and all I can say is that those that eventually carried it out got it right. Now, if you want to claim that you felt Douglas Adams was wrong in his vision for the movie, then by all means throw insult towards one of the genius authors of our time.... but I, for one, loved the movie.
"I am your father, Luke!"
That's what did it for me. I mean, seriously. If Vader had been lying, that would have been one thing. Or even if Vader was a clone of Luke's father, things would have been ok.
But that made liars out of both Yoda and Obi-Wan. "Yeah, we knew he was your dad, but we decided to bullshit you."
After that, things went downhill: Ewoks.
Alien vs. Predator had to be the most disappointing movie I've ever seen. Not because it was summer matinee fodder and stunk -- which it did -- but because they had a ton of background material to make one of the most kick-ass sci fi shooters ever.
I think it was Harlan Ellison way, way, way back (Tom Snyder TV show) who was ranting about the stupid producer who was pressuring him to write about how Startrek meets the Aztecs at the dawn of the universe. Well, head-up-his-ass-producer-dude apparently got his vision of Aztecs-in-the-antarctic-meet-aliens movie. And boy did it have 30 years to build up a stink.
You want a _real_ Alien vs. Predator? Just extrapolate from the paperbacks:
Human female warrior wakes up abord the predator ship from a background-filling nightmare as the retros fire to enter orbit. The goal is the sport of taking out an alien hive they've recently planted. For a super paranoid movie, she would remain the only human in the story watching her back for both aliens and her fellow predators but compromise would probably require that the planet have human colonization that requires her to walk a tightrope of survival protecting humans, her fellow predators and herself. I would see a more open and messy combat field like a Jurrassic Park instead of a Doom tunnel search.
Second AvP? Time to infect earth and for her to figure out how to stop it and survive.
But, instead, we got an Aztecs-in-Antarctica maze pyramid.
The way the camera pans into the stadium as the announcers start talking all nascar-ish. I had managed to hold out hope until then, but that killed it dead.
The main problem overall with the prequels, is that there is not a single character you can like - no Han Solo. Anakin is going to be evil and he's about as deep as a puddle; the Jedi are all conceited; Padmé is ok I suppose but she gets reduced to being a childmaker and victim; Shmi is... yuck; and so on.
I'd say you've never read the actual screen play, based on your silly comments that are totally at odds with Gibson's own statements. Try again.
Unless Gibson posted his original screen play at the same time he made those remarks, I would wonder how much of his remarks are more based on his memories and intent for the screen play than the actual reality. Sure, he would have created a blockbuster screen play; what else was he going to say?
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
What a waste of my time, half of the movies were not sci-fi... if anyone thinks starwars is a sci-fi movie series, they need to really read the stories... They are revamped Westerns.... Lucas is no dummy.... all he did was tell some classic hero stories from the western movie genre in a differnet setting, do a few SFX make it sci fi? IMHO no.
Sig Hansen?
Couldn't you use a wiki? It'd be a bit rough around the edges, but it'd be a good place to start.
Those who fail to understand communication protocols, are doomed to repeat them over port 80.
My vote is for Diaspora , by Greg Egan. Transhuman artificial intelligences discovering alien squids embedded within 16-dimensional Fourier transformed Turing machines, ending in a hyperdimensional universe 267904176383054 duality transformations away from our own.
I swear I am not making this up.
This entire scene was a pointless wank. It had already been spoiled by every magazine, preview, and trailer out there. And it was a pointless battle that ended inconclusively. At no time did you feel any doubt that Neo could beat them all. At most, it demonstrated that Agent Smith was getting as powerful as Neo, and thus a real danger.
The car chase at the end was far more exciting and interesting, because Trinity and Morpheus could actually be killed. The Keymaker was important, and they could lose him. That sequence is one of the best fight scenes and car chases I have ever seen, and the dramatic tension is what makes it so good.
This is why I have always hated Superman, in both comics and movies. He's fucking superman! Nothing can beat him...hell, he can fly around the earth and go back in time. Green Kryptonite? Don't make me laugh. This is a guy who can fly faster than you can can blink. Sure, he can't go near you without becoming weakened...but that won't stop him from flying away and then launching, say, an entire building at you. There's no tension, and the Superman comics were always full of the most incredible crap because the writers had nowhere to go.
I mean the Kubrick version, without that shitty upbeat, nonsensical ending that Spielberg put on.
Also, "Minority Report", without that shitty upbeat, nonsensical ending that Spielberg put on.
With the current state of SFX though, a proper version could be managed. The battle scenes would make the Warz folks crawl off and die with envy. And the elementally eeeee-vil Eddorians are the sort of villains Hollywood dreams of.
Hey, allright! A quote from an often overlooked and underrated 80's spy thriller, starring Clint Eastwood.
Well done!
DG
Want to learn about race cars? Read my Book
I still think A Fire Upon the Deep would be even more unfilmable. How could you possibly get across the scene where Jefri runs up to Steel and cuddles him?
Background if you haven't read the book: Jefri is a human child, orphaned and taken in by a tribe of Tines, which look sort of like a pile of puppies. Individually, they're about as smart, too, but when gathered into packs of four to six, communicating via short-range ultrasound, they become human-smart. Because it would badly confuse them to hear someone else's thoughts, they only come into close contact with each other for sex or fighting. Steel is the leader of the tribe that Jefri has fallen in with; he's a vicious dictator, but Jefri doesn't know that.
So, on the one hand, you have a cute kid hugging a pile of puppies, and on the other hand, you have the pile of puppies thinking that eww, this is like fucking a corpse. (Since he can't hear any ultrasound from Jefri, see.)
And you'd probably have to subtitle the Tines, anyway. And how can you film a character that has four to six different faces at once? I suppose you could turn the text-only Usenet into some sort of video chat, though that wouldn't be a very good solution. And hell, almost all of the real action takes place far, far offscreen and is incomprehensible to the main characters.
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
I like the other theory I've run into, explaining most bad sequels to brilliant films. When the first movie comes out, the producer has to fight tooth and nail to get any budget at all. The tight-fisted financiers can bully him into relying on tight scripting and good dialogue for his movies. After that movie becomes a blockbuster success, the director can request just about anything for the "blockbuster sequel" and are therefore free to ruin the movie by adding everything their heart desires.
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
Palpatine strongly implies in Ep3 that he was Plaguis' apprentice.
If you're willing to believe Extended Universe sources, "Dark Lord: The Rise of Lord Vader" has Palpatine musing voer the lessons he learned while he was Darth Plaguis's apprentice. I'd Amazon link it, but I don't know how to get a clean link so as to avoid people accusing me of trying to milk referrals.
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
But that made liars out of both Yoda and Obi-Wan. "Yeah, we knew he was your dad, but we decided to bullshit you."
Well, you have to remember that the Jedi are essentially heavily-armed religious fanatics in service as military. Yoda and Ben knew that if Luke knew the truth, he may not fight fully against Vader from the beginning and would therefore die. So, judging the needs of the Jedi over the needs of the few (Luke), they withheld the information, but left him with enough cryptic equivocation that he wouldn't immediately respond with "You're Bantha poo-dooing me, man!" when Vader made his proclamation.
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
A giant firball called "Wookie" is pretty much as stupid as "Jar Jar", it's just that we were kids so it became a part of our mind that this was okay.
I would disagree with you. While Chewbacca had his comic moments, for the most part he was not only big and furry, but also could visibly kick ass. Jar-Jar... fell a lot. And, bizarrely enough, kept succeeding through his mastery of Sna Fu. Which, of course, leads one to the conclusion that Jar-Jar may be high in the force and therefore the real Jedi master of the series.
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
I would really, really love to see the two books "Rymdväktaren" and "Nyaga" by Swedish writer Peter Nilson. I'm pretty sure that won't happen, because there isn't even an English translation AFAIK, but they are a masterpiece. I can't figure out why they haven't been translated.
Another favorite would be "Aniara" by Harry Martinson, an epic about a giant space ship that gets out of course and continues into outer space. Aniara has also been adapted to an opera.
:wq!
Is obviously "/. Story" where the evil Empire (Microsoft) is being fighted by rebels, directed by Linus... but then SCO runs NetBSD and .... oh wait I must have confused something ...
When fiction hits reality, dreams have no air-bag.
The only right the Smith estate actually sold was the right to translate the series into Japanese. The company simply assumed they had the right to do so in any way they wanted and produced that abortion without permission. I agree that it's awful and will mention that I've never managd to sit through more than 15 minutes of it. How they decided that a spaceship should look like a tuning fork going prongs first in a universe where the limit of speed in space is friction, I'll never know. (BTW, I was told the above by Doc Smith's younger daughter at LaCon II in 1984.)
Good, inexpensive web hosting
I agree with the majority of the posters on this sub-topic, that only Hienlien's more 'juvenile' works could be adapted well into a movie format.
Red Planet - yes
Farmer in the Sky - yes
The Puppet Masters - yes (but already been done, albeit badly)
Starman Jones - yes
Double Star - YES (this could be a VERY good movie)
Citizen of the Galaxy - yes
Have Space Suit Will Travel - yes
Starship Troopers - NO (Unfortunately, they tried to make this one. Never should have been done)
Stranger in a Strange Land - no (For obvious reasons, mentioned in earlier posts)
Podkayne of Mars - yes (I think this could work, although the screen adaptation would have to be careful about handling the nuclear bomb explosion)
The Moon is a Harsh Mistress - no (Great book, but it just wouldn't sell as a movie unless they took out all the polyandry)
The Cat Who Walks Through Walls - NO (not a chance)
Those are all of Heinlein's books that I have read.
From a project oversight / reality check for the studios, I love your idea. From a creative/artistic side though, I think it would lead to only the blandest results. Too many cooks spoil the soup, yah know what I mean? I will leave you with this quote: "A camel is a horse designed by committee.
most critics actually LOVED the Hitchiker movie
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
Are you thinking of another film? Logan's run is about a post-apocalyptic city where everyone is killed when they reach 30.
I'm pretty sure that Neuromancer would be filmable, and Count Zero even more so, since Count Zero has more action, which audiences like. But it would take both a very special script writer and director (not to mention a willing producer and an excellent casting director) to make it into a success.
The fact is that it is neither the CGI effects, nor the sheer amount of action etc that make a good film. Take a look at Firefly/Serenity. There wasn't much in the way of expensive CGI, but people were riveted because of the story. And the screenplay script needs someone who has enough vision to distill the elements of the book without trying to follow the book slavishly (won't work due to the length of the book) or ignoring the book completely (as happened in Johnny Mnemonic). It's also not a single theme (The Island had an extremely good set and CGI but an incredibly bad director who wasn't above Dukes of Hazzard kind of thing).
The thing that makes Blade Runner so convincing is the feeling. The story is full of allegory but is otherwise actually quite simple. Ridly Scott took the basic elements of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep and used them for his own very different story.
In that sense the director is almost as creative and important as the original author.
All that said, it is rare these days that anything good comes out of Hollywood. Huge amounts of money are spent on movies that don't make any return which only frightens the meek little kittens of studio bosses more than they already are.
I'm pretty sure the next good SciFi movie will come from an indie producer on a minimal budget.
As long as it wasn't the dreaded "Read Admiral".
The story of "The Chosen One".
Here's the plot:
Person (often young person, as it is used most often in juvenile fiction) thinks he is completely useless, no one even knows he exists, he is in a dusty corner of the world.
Person finds out actually he is actually one of the most important people ever (is a prince, a jedi, messiah, etc.)
(optionally) Person saves the world.
It's been done successfully a zillion times. It's Star Wars 4, it's Spider Man, it's Harry Potter, it's "the Princess Diaries", it's "The Wild Thornberries", it's nearly every show/cartoon on Disney Channel.
It's easy to do, and the reason it works over and over is that people (again, especially teens) often wonder if they really matter in this world and a story like this says that you might find out tomorrow that you are very important, instead of very unimportant.
This story doesn't work if when you were born someone could have given you a blood test and said "nope, turns out this one is definitely not the one, he doesn't have a high amount of midi-chloreans".
Lucas didn't even understand why his story worked. And that's clearly not the only way. He didn't even understand the character of Han Solo.
He's a dumbass, it's pretty difficult to make apologies for him convincingly. And it's much harder if you don't understand the story either.
http://lkml.org/lkml/2005/8/20/95
For the record...
2001 was based on a short story called "The Sentinal" written in the mid 60's
2001 was written by both Kubrik and Clark (only 15 minutes of dialouge)
All of this is found in a book called "The Lost Worlds of 2001" printed in 1972
hard to find but here is the wiki link
---In a time of Chimpanzees I was a Monkey.
Ever since I saw "Ghost in the Shell", I have had a vision of Neuromance with the people parts as Anime and the Cyberspace parts as computer-generated.
That would cut the costs down to $50 million easy. And the director would be able to capture any part of the story/characters/environment they wanted.
No, I'm thinking of the book. Big differences. [spoilers, too]
I know, I know. But give me a version without any David Lynch involvement or "made-for-TV" caliber acting/direction.
"Form should follow function...unless it's just plain ugly."
...I'd much rather see a Marathon movie. Compared to Marathon Halo is a storyless, rainbow-colored arcade shooter. No, I don't want Marathon: Infinity - that one would just confuse the viewers until they wish they could do Electric Sheep 4 again and choose a timeline where they don't watch it. But the first game would make a good movie - a slow, claustrophobic movie about the semi-lone soldier/officer/cyborg/whatever trying to save the ship from aliens while dealing with two warring AIs (one of which is rampant to boot). Just Durandal's insane bickering would make the movie worth watching if done properly. If we give the Marathon a speaker system Durandal doesn't even need to call the protagonist to a terminal to mock him.
You could even put in a jab at the strong female character (which, after all, is quickly becoming a cliché):
About two minutes after the Strong Female Character is introduced
Protagonist: I was just about to clean out the crew quarters. Care to lend me a hand there?
Strong Female Character: *spots a Pfhor and riddles it with bullets* Sure, why not? I was running out of targets anyway.
The Strong Female Character is teleported away, not to be seen again
Durandal: Oops! Well, there are more than enough targets for her in the mess hall. But I'm so sorry for that date of yours. You were such a cute pair.
Protagonist: Dammit, Durandal! You can't just teleport her away like that! I could have really used her help!
Durandal: Maybe I can find you a handkerchief and a magazine. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
If you have not read the Rama series, don't go past the first book. This is a warning to save you from reading a great book about exploration and discovery, that is utterly undone and then beaten, shat upon, and raped to death (and if your unlucky in that order) by the follow up books. They did have some good, even great moments but something in his collaboration caused the latter books to be unpalatable compared to the first.
Well I've wrestled with reality for thirty five years doctor, and I'm happy to say I finally won out over it.