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User: Beardo+the+Bearded

Beardo+the+Bearded's activity in the archive.

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Comments · 2,850

  1. Re:A Feature! on Dell Fixes Ultrabook That Smelled of Cat Urine · · Score: 1

    Which company did you say you work for?

  2. Re:Fantasy more than SF on Computers and Doctor Who · · Score: 2

    Huh, I thought it was a horror show.

  3. Re:How safe? on How Safe Is Cycling? · · Score: 1

    Indeed, that's the last line in the colregs:

    "If in doubt, the larger vessel has the right of way."

  4. Re:only? on How Safe Is Cycling? · · Score: 1

    Same as me. I've been biking for 17 years and haven't broken a thing.

    My boss was passed by a bus too close, the last thing he remembered seeing was "Goodyear" rolling by, almost touching his face, and then he was in the hospital a couple of days later. It took them four hours to get him off the bridge. He's got a lot of scars.

  5. Re:How safe? on How Safe Is Cycling? · · Score: 5, Informative

    Okay, when I did an analysis of US stats last year, I found that cyclists are:

    1% of traffic
    2% of traffic injuries and fatalities

    You're more likely to get seriously hurt when you get into an accident on a bike. That's just obvious, since you're cruising around in nothing but skintanium. There's no way -- none -- that a bike is going to come out ahead in a collision with a motorized vehicle. A fight with someone that's got 20 pounds on you is one-sided, so imagine a fight against someone that's got 2 tons on you and is made out of steel. This is why, when I bike, I assume that I never ever, under any circumstances ever, ever think that I have the right of way. A bike never has the right of way. I say this because of the laws of physics -- if a delivery van blows a stop sign and t-bones you, he can hose down his van and get back to work tomorrow. If you're really, really lucky and you have good medical care, you might be able to pee on your own in a couple of months. So whose fault is it? Who cares? As the cyclist, you're always "all in" when you're biking, so you always assume that every accident is your fault.

    I started biking to school 17 years and 90 pounds ago. I bike to work 4/5 days a week unless it's snowing. (I don't bike when it's snowing; it's too dangerous with the cars out there, and on Thursdays I jog in.) In all that time, I've been hit one time. A woman on a road bike that was drafting behind me. A car was approaching the intersection (they have a stop) but they were approaching a little too fast for my liking. I hit my brakes, and they're tuned to stop my bike from full speed to stopped in about 2 meters. She couldn't stop nearly that well, and she rear-ended me. She tacoed her wheel and broke one of my rear lights. A lot of close calls, drivers that don't pay attention, but I pay enough attention for both of us.

    Ironically, I do have a spinal injury, but I was hours away from the closest car when I got it.

  6. Re:Dumb... on Scientists Induce New Hair Growth In Balding Men · · Score: 2

    That's why my toupee is made entirely of $100 bills.

  7. Re:Siri doesn't have free will on Physicist Unveils a 'Turing Test' For Free Will · · Score: 1

    Only if they hand me an envelope with the discussion we're about to have on it, then we have the conversation, then I open it up, and there is it, line for line.

  8. Re:New drug name "Wind Up" on Biological Clock Discovered That Measures Ages of Most Human Tissues · · Score: 2

    Side effects include laughing, loving, and lasciviousness

    And anal seepage. You can't have a drug without that as a side effect.

    When I was very young, I did get a little anal seepage from time to time.

    REPORT CLOSED: WORKS AS INTENDED

  9. Re:How To Develop Unmaintainable Software on How To Develop Unmaintainable Software · · Score: 4, Funny

    In all fairness, outsourcing it to Canada made sense. We're cheaper, we have health care already, and speak English with an approximate degree of usefulness.*

    So, on behalf of our country, I apologize for any inconveniences you have suffered from the sheer shittiness of the ACA software. As a measure of our sincerity, you may pick up one(1) bottle of maple syrup from our strategic reserve.

    *offre non valable au Québec

  10. Re:Spam - the perfect cloak on The NSA Is Collecting Lots of Spam · · Score: 3, Funny

    ch3@p plut0n1um!! Buy CANDU plut0n1um at r0-ck b0ttom pr1c3s!

  11. Re:SPAM is a way to hide a message in plain sight on The NSA Is Collecting Lots of Spam · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Or, maybe its shows a new vector for an anti-NSA attack by the Iranians.

    Fuck the Iranians, I'm signing up for everything.

    Everything.

    Every.

    Thing.

    We will choke them to death on our spam.

  12. Re:Along these lines on Google ToS Change Means Your Photo Could Go In Ads · · Score: 1

    That's 31 flavours of bullshit.

    Er, I'm calling Google assholes, not you a liar. I believe you.

  13. Re:Attack? on Google ToS Change Means Your Photo Could Go In Ads · · Score: 1

    That's why I told them a fake name and use a picture of a robot for my avatar.

    I'm going to GIMP up my DL to show the fake and email it to them.

  14. Re:Man i hate this game on Red Cross Wants Consequences For Video-Game Mayhem · · Score: 1

    Yep, I've killed billions upon billions of NPCs ("Well, more bodies in my wake, let's go"), including innocent bystanders, blown up planets, left people to die in vacuum, to suffocate, committed genocide, xenocide, whatever.

    Nothing in all the years I've been gaming has anything made me feel as uncomfortable as the torture mission in GTAV.

  15. Re:"hack" on Want To Hijack a Domain? Just Get a Fax Machine · · Score: 1

    I've seen movies of cats jumping from the top of telephone poles and walking away like "fuck all y'all in the loud trucks, can't a furball take a fuckin' nap?"

  16. Re:We're living the a cyberpunk future. on Stealing Silicon Valley · · Score: 1

    It's super easy. Just grab some blue overalls, a toolbox, and a plunger.

    "I'm here to fix the toilet."

    The toolbox is full of sludge. Drop it on the floor and let it ooze out. People won't stick around when there's poop on the floor.

    Then plug in one of these wherever you've got a recently-emptied desk.

  17. Re:Security starts with inventory on Stealing Silicon Valley · · Score: 1

    You can get five-headed bolts made, too. They look normal enough until you can't get a grip on them.

  18. Re:LOL Racism on Stealing Silicon Valley · · Score: 2

    Actually, that's mostly true. Some regions of Canada use the most lightly-accented form of English.

    I've been interviewed just for my voice to test my accent.

  19. Re:Easy answers on Police Demand Summary Domain Takedown, Traffic Redirection · · Score: 1

    What's the domain in question?

  20. Re:Man i hate this game on Red Cross Wants Consequences For Video-Game Mayhem · · Score: 1

    And in GTAV when they force you to torture someone, the torturer (who is a fucked up sociopath) drives the victim to the airport and tells him along the way that torture is useless as an interrogation tool and the victim is going to escape the US and tell everyone about what happened.

  21. Re:I'm not ashamed to admit on Asian Giant Hornets Kill 42 People In China, Injure Over 1,500 · · Score: 1

    BUZZZZZZ

    over your head, AC, over your head.

  22. Re:I'm not ashamed to admit on Asian Giant Hornets Kill 42 People In China, Injure Over 1,500 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Actually, the guy being stung knew PRECISELY how far it was, 656 feet, and he counted every step of the way. 153 feet to the lake... fuck fuck fuck 117 feet to the lake... 98 feet to the lake... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck 45 feet to the lake fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK splash

    It was the media that converted to 200m due to the international audience. I think it loses something in the SI translation.

  23. Re:Tor compromised on Silk Road Shut Down, Founder Arrested, $3.6 Million Worth of Bitcoin Seized · · Score: 1

    I know my webcam isn't compromised because I have a piece of black electrical tape over the lens.

    There's also a fault in the microphone design that makes a buzzing noise when it's on. I'm not sure if I should damn or praise Sony for that.

  24. Re:Tor compromised on Silk Road Shut Down, Founder Arrested, $3.6 Million Worth of Bitcoin Seized · · Score: 1

    In fact- if I were doing something illegal- when regular articles about the silk road started being posted, I'd shut things down and take my profits.

    Or sell it off for legit cash and move somewhere offshore. But yeah, once /. started talking about it, it was clear that they were going to get busted at some point. I guess he thought he could keep it going.

    I don't know why you couldn't run this operation from outside the US. Just FedEx the packages to the US, and anything that gets stopped at the border is part of the cost of doing business.

  25. Re:Tor compromised on Silk Road Shut Down, Founder Arrested, $3.6 Million Worth of Bitcoin Seized · · Score: 2

    Don't forget the $5 they get for an "inspection fee". This was bad luck + CBS grubbing for cash.