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User: Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp

Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp's activity in the archive.

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  1. Soon, it will start trundling, not locomoting. on Curiosity Rover Fires First Laser Beam At Martian Rock · · Score: 5, Funny

    > A martian rock named "Coronation" was shot with 30 pulses

    ZAPPED, God damn it!

    Robots on Mars with freakin' laser beams and claws zap things!

  2. Re:Calm down on Windows 8 Changes Host File Blocking · · Score: 1

    So basically they're stopping malware from redirecting doubleclick or facebook links to their own scam sites?

    So...I guess strike 3 for the M$ conspiracy theorists.

  3. Re:Eh... on Birth Control For Men Edges Closer · · Score: 1

    It's doubly bizarre you believe that meme when almost certainly the FDA forcibly dragging the feet of drug companies, and costing them billions in testing, has lead to slower drug development, and thus more deaths than the FDA has saved.

    All it takes is delaying one drug that saves 10% of heart patients annually around the world by one year and ffft! There goes several million needless deaths.

    Compare that to the sum total of lives the FDA may have saved before issues became obvious and the drug companies would pull the drug anyway.

    But a death in front of the camera is worth hundreds of theoretical deaths because drug tech is behind where it otherwise would be.

    Who gives a fuck, it's all game.

  4. Re:But, why? on Birth Control For Men Edges Closer · · Score: 1

    IIRC, they felt rubbery on the outside and had quite a surprising heft to them.

  5. Re:Relative size on Birth Control For Men Edges Closer · · Score: 1

    Perhaps you missed the linked picture of the beerbelly...

  6. Re:Nice tagline... on Birth Control For Men Edges Closer · · Score: 2

    Well, the average nerd has no way of knowing if that's possible or not.

    Indeed, before they worry about needing birth control, they first have to find someone who will accept their penis. The average modern nerd is no skinny Ian on Big Brother anymore. They look more like Dear Leader the Youngest in North Korea now.

  7. One one thousandth of a penny wise, pound foolish. on State Dept. Cancels $16.5M Kindle Contract · · Score: 3, Insightful

    > canceling a $16.5 million Amazon order

    Yey! The government just reduced its spending by .00037% this year!

    It still continues to borrow 9/10ths of a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier every day.

  8. Re:OR on US Carbon Emissions Hit 20-Year Low · · Score: 1

    30% less emissions per unit of electrical energy, and it's the power plants switching that's doing it.

    I'm still warning people -- don't be in such a rush to cut back on global warming. We are in an interstice between ice ages, and we don't wanna start another one. It will be magnitudes worse than warming.

    Warming = moving in from the sea over 100-300 years. Ice age = billions dead, end of story.

  9. Re:Right...just change the "acceptable level"! on The Panic Over Fukushima · · Score: 1

    Keep in mind this week also posted an article that Fukushima could have destroyed all life on Earth.

    May have been BS, but that's not the point.

  10. DLC this! on Some Players Want Day-1 DLC, Says BioWare · · Score: 1

    I suspect all those 1st day DLC people were just grabbing it since it was available, rather than that they finished the regular game that day and went elsewhere bored.

    Contrary to what companies think, even easy upgrades are still a pain in the ass, and it's far easier to just add another thing to the cart at the same time as the main game, than it is to come back and root around later.

  11. And watch out for the "claw"! on Mars Curiosity Rover's First Road Trip Planned · · Score: 5, Funny

    > ChemCam is expected to "zap" its first rock in the name of planetary science.

    Take the quotes off that zap and smile when you say it, pal.

    If a freakin' robot on Mars shooting a murderous, rock-vaporizing laser doesn't deserve the unquoted use of the verb "zap", nothing does.

  12. Re:Well... on Google Seeks US Ban On iPhones, iPads, Macs · · Score: 2

    Well, the phone part of the iPhone is the equivalent to a $40 phone. The rest is dancing bears.

    If someone sells a $1000 laptop with a cell phone in it, should Motorola get a full percentage of that, too?

    One would hope the contract language would specify this, but doesn't sound like it.

  13. Sweet! on Genetically Engineering Babies a Moral Obligation, Says Ethicist · · Score: 1

    Oh yes! Genetically engineer people who want to serve me, uhhh, I mean society.

    C'mon, Weena, Morlock needs another "house cleaning"...

  14. Re:Alleged cause? on Indian Gov't Bans Bulk SMS, Investigating Social Media · · Score: 1

    > Bangalore was hit hardest by rumours that the ethnic violence in
    > Assam, in which nearly 80 people have been killed, would
    > ricochet across Karnataka,

    Ya, if this happened just down the road, and I got threatening texts along with thousands of my neighbors, I'd be out of there on one of the extra chartered trains, too.

    Regarding "allegedly", it's journalistic cover-my-ass, but journalists seem to have forgotten this and use it out of all context, in some kind of regurgitative reflex.

  15. Re:Two weeks on Cables Show US Seeks Assange · · Score: 1

    Yeah! Just leave Hermione the hell alone!

  16. Re:Recourse? probably not on Joyent Drops Lifetime Account Holders · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Never buy lifetime memberships. They are scams -- where do they get the money to keep business ging several years down the road? They haven't invested the money, I assure you. They have spent it.

    The business model is to take your money, party rock hard, then go out of business. This was the fraudulent business model of many fitness clubs when they exploded in popularity in the late 70s thru early 80s.

    When I see new MMORPGs with monthly pay-to-play offering "lifetime pass" options, I run for the hills, even as suckers sign up, fancying themselves getting a deal.

    That just says to me they realize they have a lemon on the way.

  17. Normally... on Exceptionally Preserved 2,600-Year-Old Brain Found · · Score: 1

    > death was...consistent with hanging.

    Scientist: I can't wait to study this wonderfully preserved brain specimen! Was there any other information with the corpse?

    Assistant: There was a chisled rock with his name on it.

    Scientist: Really! What was his name?

    Assistant: Abby something.

  18. Finally! A Fifth completed! Ode to joy!

  19. It's not a skirt, it's a kil...it's a skirt, nm. on ICS-CERT Warns of Serious Flaws In Tridium SCADA Software · · Score: 1

    I like the descripton: "This system is stuck in the 90s. We didn't even bother looking at the ActiveX stuff."

    All I could think of was that Next Gen' episode where an old Klingon ship timewarps from the past:

    Picard: Data, is there any way we can see through their cloaking device?
    Data: Cloaking devices of the time were leaky in the gamma range.
    Picard: Good. Make it our ho.

  20. If you're lucky, get used to Real Farmville. on Ask Slashdot: Protecting Data From a Carrington Event? · · Score: 1

    > "With all the talk about solar flares and other such near-extinction events lately"

    Buddy, if a 20 mile diameter rock hits the Earth, whether your source code for Angry Turkeys survives is the least of your problems.

  21. Not even if it's storing Lord of the Hobbits? on Scientists Store Entire Textbook In DNA · · Score: 1

    "I still don't want your DNA anywhere near me, nerd!"

  22. Ok then on Cyber Attack Knocks Offline Saudi Aramco · · Score: 1

    They aseume it got in through official channels rather than myriad censor-bypassing routes, including smart phone tethering.

  23. Re:What we need is a WOW Lobby on Australian Watchdog Frets Over BitCoin, MMOs' Money Laundering Potential · · Score: 2

    Nah, for taxation, "WOODROW WILSON!!!1!11!"

  24. Even paladins kill things and take their stuff. on Australian Watchdog Frets Over BitCoin, MMOs' Money Laundering Potential · · Score: 1

    Just wait until they find out MMO fortunes are built on more corpses than WWII.

  25. And what they did to Robin... on Verizon Bases $5 Fee To Not Publish Your Phone Number On 'Systems and IT' Costs · · Score: 1

    Plausible? No, it's a fraudulent lie. Maybe a $5 one-time charge, maybe. It you call a human to use a web interface for you instead of doing it yourself. However, charging to not list your number is as old as phones; this is nothing new.

    Also fraudulent:

    - That banks need to charge $35 overdraft fees per overdraft. This is a scam to get around usury laws -- $35 for a $1.49 overdraft would quickly get them in the pokey.

    It's fraud because they lie and say it's to compensate for costs, when, in fact, it's a deliberate, core profit vector. Their business model isn't sayng, "Dammit! He OD'd!"

    It's saying, "FUCK YES!!! HE OVERDRAFTED!!! OH GOD YESSS!!!"

    - Credit card companies are similarly fraudulent, lying that their high interest rates are due to rational statistical risk.

    The proof of a lie? Again, their business model isn't worrying people are now risky, but rather they are crossing their fingers, hoping you get into financial difficulties so they can jack up the rates so it is very difficult to pay down the principle.

    Their business model hopes, and relies, on you getting into trouble. It does not worry about it, contrary to public statements to Congress. It prays for it.

    Regarding the bank, I went in to complain because I overdrafted without realizing it and had over $400 in charges for about $60 in overdraft. The bank lady didn't have her bank screen turned enough and I looked on my record of it. In all caps at the top was:

    DO NOT SHOW CUSTOMER THIS SCREEN

    I'm pretty sure I also saw a link to how to sodomize My Little Pony, and they weren't an anti-pony group. THEY WEREN'T AN ANTI-PONY GROUP!!!

    Ok, you got me. I made one of those two up.