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User: AtariAmarok

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Comments · 3,632

  1. First they came for Howard Stern on 2004 Jefferson Muzzle Awards · · Score: 3, Funny

    When they came for Howard Sterm, I didn't speak up because I was not a drunken lesbian dwarf
    .
    Then they came for Rush Limbaugh. I did not speak up, as I was not a dittohead.

    Then they came for Sean Hannity. I did not speak up, because I was not hannitized.

    Then they came for me, and by that time there was nothing on the radio but polka shows.

  2. I'd get one on Implant a Chip in Your Head · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'd get one implanted, but it sort of defeats the purpose of wearing a tinfoil helmet.

  3. True Audiophile on Playfair Relocates to India · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, you would be buying records if you were a true audiophile

    You *CRACK* tell *POP TSSS* them! Nothing "snap* beats *snap snap* the perfect pure *POP* sound of an LP.

  4. Yes. on UML Fever · · Score: 1, Funny

    Yeah, I guess so. But it won't be a problem for long. I got 76 of these spams this morning, each promising to lengthen my member anywhere from an additional length of 3 inches to an additional length of 8 inches. If I calculate correctly, buying all of them will guarantee a length of more than 20'.

    Beat that! (not literally, of course)

  5. Re:Here's who John Galt was on Off Grid Via Slow Moving River? · · Score: 1

    True. This was an era before Google though, she might just not have know of such a person.

    Heh. How could anyone have possible ever done research before Google? :)

    Perhaps Rand was inspired by one of the two John Galts when she made her character. I've not read "Atlas Shrugged" yet. I tried 2 or 3 times to read "Fountainhead", but there was something about her writing style that made me give up after 5-10 pages each time. I'll give that one another chance someday.

  6. Mike Oldfield "Maestro" again on Non-Lethal Sniper Rifle: You're Tagged For Life · · Score: 1

    This reminds me of Mike Oldfield's Maestro music/VR videogame.

    In the default/demo mode, you can hit the spacebar and fire at whatever is in front of you. The bullets resemble tiny circuitboards.

  7. Here is what happens on Non-Lethal Sniper Rifle: You're Tagged For Life · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Besides the fact that this is invasion of privacy (in the weirdest possible way), what happens when the sniper decides to shoot and it hits your eyeball?"

    It is just the first step. Eventually, you will look like this

  8. BAM ! on UML Fever · · Score: 1

    Don't knock mud

    yeah... or the entire wall will come down.

  9. I've gotten spams about these on UML Fever · · Score: 4, Funny

    The leading building corporation would proclaim that there's nothing wrong with the buildings and a new market of woodpecker traps and anti woodpecker missiles would thrive.

    I've already gotten spams about these products concerning software woodpeckers. In fact, I got one this morning that had a title "SOLVE YOUR SOFT PECKER PROBLEMS"

  10. Software architect? on UML Fever · · Score: 4, Funny

    Never forget Weinberg's Law:

    "If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization"

  11. Re:Here's who John Galt was on Off Grid Via Slow Moving River? · · Score: 1

    "Yup. Sorry she didn't use a name that had never been used before" ...in this case, a name held by two famous 19th century figures.

    She at least she could have called the character "Robert Galt", as there is no other famous Robert Galt.

    I knew of the psychologist John Galt anyway, but I googled the name and turned up another famous John Galt who was a novelist in the 19th century.

    Rand didn't have a problem coming up with a name that was not already used by famous historic persons when she came up with "Howard Roark".

  12. Has someone mentioned Slashdot yet? on On Licenses That Should Be Made Into Games · · Score: 2, Funny

    An excruciatingly massive multi-subject dungeon. Get points from the Mods, avoid the Trolls, and battle such bosses as Cowboy Neal, Billy Borg, and the top Boss, the Cmdr himself.

  13. Re:Here's who John Galt was on Off Grid Via Slow Moving River? · · Score: 1

    That's who he really was. Ayn Rand sure confused the issue when she named a character after a famous 19th century psychologist.

  14. Here's who John Galt was on Off Grid Via Slow Moving River? · · Score: 1

    " an incontrovertibly brilliant physician who brought the full flower of Moral Management treatment to Williamsburg"

    From The Galt Figures. He was a major figure in American mental health history.

  15. Re:AMD will have the last laugh here on Intel Potentially Reverse-Engineered AMD64 · · Score: 5, Funny

    /song/
    "We don't need no "Media Player"
    "We don't need no content control"
    "No dark embracing, or extension"
    "Hey Redmond! Leave script kids alone!"
    "All in all, we're all just borg in the cube"

  16. Homer sez mmmmmm on Intel Potentially Reverse-Engineered AMD64 · · Score: 1

    I've been trying for ages to get my hands on a crisp mp3 version of 'Animals'

    "Mmmmmmm. Crisp mp3 animals......mmmmmmmm"

  17. Re:Gorillas on Off Grid Via Slow Moving River? · · Score: 1

    how does feeding the cats to dogs fix the problem of surplus food for the cats?

    In the spring, when the gorillas thaw, the buzzards and other carrion-birds come in from across the land and scare all the fish away from the area.

  18. AMD will have the last laugh here on Intel Potentially Reverse-Engineered AMD64 · · Score: 5, Funny

    AMD will have the last laugh here. Turns out they embedded a Pink Floyd album in the code of AMD64 (a fair-use copy, as AMD had previously purchased the album). When Intel copied the code and put it in their chip, it was all AMD needed for a little call to the RIAA to pay a visit to Intel's house....

  19. The cats on Off Grid Via Slow Moving River? · · Score: 5, Funny

    do cats know to keep the fish out? And do they work in shifts or what??

    Some work in shifts. A few work in loincloths, but most wear the catsuits they were born with.

  20. Gorillas on Off Grid Via Slow Moving River? · · Score: 4, Funny

    But what happens when the cats over-eat, get fat and die?

    Then you get dogs to eat the cats. If these become a problem, you get gorillas to eat the dogs. The gorillas won't be a problem, because, come winter, they will freeze to death.

    I don't think the cats will be a problem, however. Garfield has been over-eating and very fat for 30 or so years now, and I still see his sarcastic face in the funny papers every morning.

  21. Re:Why not just.... on Off Grid Via Slow Moving River? · · Score: 1

    No, no. Didn't you listen? You make a computer based reality to keep them miserable, not happy. Otherwise they won't believe it's real. In SOVIET RUSSIA, bad joke perpetuates YOU!

    Shouldn't you have summarized this "In the Soviet Matrix, Games Play You?"

  22. Getting energy from the river. Some ideas on Off Grid Via Slow Moving River? · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sneak out and clamp 12 to 120 volt convertors on passing motorboats, with wires going back to your house. The wires had better be long

    Stand on the shore with a big shotgun, and demand that passersby pay you a toll in killowatt hours in order to pass.

    Provide all the catfish with treadmills connected to generators.

    Per Max Screck of Batman 2, set up your own power plant and connect to the nearby hydro plants. Provide a lot of paperwork that no one reads, that includes the part that says that your power plant actually drains power from the grid instead of adding to it.

    Power hot air turbines from meetings of the Susquehanna River Basin Commission.

    If all else fails, I'm sure that the orgone writings of Reich, the magic energy fields of Tesla, or the spoonbending force of Uri Gellar will give you an answer.

  23. Provide something during the wait.... on Patience, Grasshopper - On Long Load Times For Games · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Why not provide something during the wait, like Solitair, or some sort of space invaders game (remembering that it took just a few K on the old Atari 2600...should be quick to load, or easy to embed in ROM).

  24. Thank you Ted Kennedy on Massachusetts Considering Desalination Plants · · Score: 4, Funny

    We can thank Ted Kennedy for pushing for this initiative. He is tired of salt water ruining his clothes when he goes driving.

  25. Inappropriate footage on Philips Demos Keychain-sized Camcorder · · Score: 4, Funny

    " How long before we read the first story of some, um, inappropriate footage captured with one of these?""

    This is much more likely if they add a vibrator mode to the thing.