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User: AtariAmarok

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  1. Some features of New Comcast Cable on Comcast Plans Cable Boxes with Integrated Wi-Fi and Snooping · · Score: 4, Funny

    US Robitics cable modems burst into flame upon connection.

    Local FBI agents walking down the street now greet you by first name.

    "they can kick your devices off your home network" means that your toaster, radio, blanket, and vacuum have left home never to return.

    Reality TV shows feature different rooms in your house.

  2. This must explain their version of "Big Brother" on Comcast Plans Cable Boxes with Integrated Wi-Fi and Snooping · · Score: 4, Funny

    This must explain the Comcast version of the "Big Brother" show. I was wondering why it always showed my own living room.

  3. In Soviet Russia on Comcast Plans Cable Boxes with Integrated Wi-Fi and Snooping · · Score: 1, Funny
    In Soviet Russia, cable TV watches You!

    (what can I say? It is karma-burn friday. May be overrated, but it sure isn't offtopic for once!)

  4. Bonzi Buddy on Spyware Becoming Worst Tech Support Problem · · Score: 5, Funny

    I always ask Bonzi Buddy to help solve my spyware problems. He is always so helpful!

  5. Harry Potter. I admit it... on Tough Love - Can A Game Be Too Hard? · · Score: 1, Informative

    I admit it. I was balked at the first Harry Potter game. Everything went fine until I got to the "Fluffy" dog heads. I could not find a way to get them all to sleep at the same time; gave up after a while.

  6. Oshkosh? on U of Chicago Scavenger Hunt List - 2004 · · Score: 1

    Why, did I mention antique plane parts in the scavenger list?

  7. They did it the hard way on U of Chicago Scavenger Hunt List - 2004 · · Score: 1

    Want to cover the roof of the museum with cops and cop cars? Just open a donut shop. If you build it, they will come.

  8. Top 10 Accidentally Found Scavenger Items on U of Chicago Scavenger Hunt List - 2004 · · Score: 4, Funny
    Top 10 Accidentally Found Scavenger Items in Chicago:

    10. Mayor Daley the First

    9. An effective WinXP security patch CD

    8. 11,000 Bush vote ballots brought home early in 2001 by Bill "Lex Luthor" Daley and hidden in a landfill.

    7. My car keys!

    6. (still missing)

    5. The Beagle

    4. 8,700 ballots from 1960 election marked as votes for Nixon.

    3. WMD's

    2. Meigs Field

    1. Jimmy Hoffa

  9. Insensitive clods! on X Prize Competition Gets New Sponsor, Amended Name · · Score: 1, Insightful
    "to carry a minimum of 3 adults of height 188 cm (6 feet 2 inches)"

    Dwarfs and midgets have been barred from the Final Frontier. I guess it is back to the mines to look for precious precious mithril.... Oh, and Mini-Me, stop humping the laser!

  10. Loopholes on X Prize Competition Gets New Sponsor, Amended Name · · Score: 4, Funny

    As someone already pointed out, it says that the ship has to return safely, not the passengers.

    It does not specify if the passengers have to be alive or not. If you send up corpses, it is easier to keep them intact than it is to keep live passengers alive.

    Mice? Does not say you can't send them instead of humans.

  11. Warez = Juarez on Microsoft Drops Next-Generation Security Project [updated] · · Score: 1

    I have a friend who once called me up talking about discovering all this free software in Juarez sites. It took me a few questions to find out that he wasn't connecting to Mexico. It was the way he thought "warez" was pronounced.

  12. Re:Cancelling security? What next? on Microsoft Drops Next-Generation Security Project [updated] · · Score: 2, Funny
    "WIndows on Linux is a much greater threat than you think"

    Can you imagine the prospect of SCO receiving $699 for each installation of Windows???

  13. The witch is dead.... on Microsoft Drops Next-Generation Security Project [updated] · · Score: 4, Funny

    The witch is dead, but will likely by replaced by an ogre or a kraken.

  14. Definition of trusted computing on Microsoft Drops Next-Generation Security Project [updated] · · Score: 5, Funny
    From dictionary.com definition of trust: "A combination of firms or corporations for the purpose of reducing competition and controlling prices throughout a business or an industry."

    Trusted computing, therefore, facilitates reduction of competition.

  15. Cancelling security? What next? on Microsoft Drops Next-Generation Security Project [updated] · · Score: 2, Funny

    They have cancelled security? What next? Will Microsoft stop supporting Linux? Oh no!

  16. The next Lindows! on AMD Beats Intel in CPU Sales · · Score: 1
    "...Linthlon..."

    Hey! Don't give the Linspire/Lindows guys any ideas for their next name!

  17. The One-Bullet Manager on Microsoft Assembles Patent Arsenal for Longhorn · · Score: 1
    "one-glock shopping"

    That reminds me of an old spoof of "The One-Minute Manager" entitled "The One-Bullet Manager" by Chairman Mao.

  18. "Microsoft Inventor" Software on Microsoft Assembles Patent Arsenal for Longhorn · · Score: 5, Funny
    Has anyone else tried the "Microsoft Inventor" application? I think Bill has the only copy, but it has a function where it automatically submits random word strings to the US patent office as complete patent applications.

    Sample output:

    e-commerce

    e-communism

    e-constipation

    e-conifer

    one-click shopping

    one-click shipping

    one-clock shopping

    one-click slapping

    BASIC

    ADA

    difference engine

    mouse

    rat

    .....

    Not only this, but it can generate 1,400 patent applications per day, all conveniently dated to 1878 so you can beat everyone to the punch. Microsoft "Created" this after it embraced and extended a third-party password-guesser program.

  19. I didn't like Doom 64 on Doom 3 Xbox Previewed, PC Version No-Show At E3 · · Score: 1, Informative
    I didn't like Doom 64. Even on the max brightness and contrast settings in the cartridge's setup, everything was extremely low-contrast "very dark brown/gray on black" with a few flashes of dark orange or dark green here and there. And this was in the lit areas. When you went into a darker area, it was black on black. The television's brightness and contrast controls did not help either, but a game's designers have "Failed it" if you even have to consider adjusting those controls on the set.

    I got tired of resisting the urge to shine a flashlight at the black screen to see what was going on, and gave up on it.

    "Doom and Quake popular in the first place was mindless, bloody, fast paced carnage"

    Firing black bullets in a black room at black monsters is such fun! I've not seen any other game for any other system (including Doom and Quake for other platforms) which blew it on darkness/contrast like this one did.

  20. Good riddance! on Sprint Routers Stolen; NYC Internet Outage Ensues · · Score: 0, Troll

    At least for just a little while, "on line" will mean on the internet only, and not "in line".

  21. Top 10 Passwords Not to be Used on Passwords That Should Never Be Used · · Score: 5, Funny

    10. iluvalqueda

    9. idareyoutoguessthis

    8. oldfattylumpkinwhosewisenoseledushere

    7. *******

    6. (my actual password)

    5. cowboyneal

    4. pencil

    3. neo

    2. secret

    1. password

  22. "The Internet? Is that thing still around? on NetBSD Sets Internet2 Land Speed World Record · · Score: 4, Insightful
    "I2 isn't going to replace the Internet some day, it's more of an acedemic playground not a construction project"

    I remember the same thing being said about the actual Internet back in the mid-late 1980s. Academic playground, won't amount to much.

  23. Are the games "sequels" as such? on Unlike Movie-Goers, Gamers Love Sequels? · · Score: 5, Insightful
    I don't consider the games to be "sequels" in the same way movies are: The games are more like "new improved" versions of the old. (Whether they do improve things is another topic).

    You are probably going to buy Halo 2 because you enjoyed Halo 1 and are expecting a better version of "more of the same". In contrast, you don't go to "Batman 5" expecting a version of "Batman 1" to see the same battle between Bats and the Joker with the latest new effects added that they didn't have in 1989.

  24. "Aliens" WAS a weak sequel on Unlike Movie-Goers, Gamers Love Sequels? · · Score: 3, Interesting

    "Aliens" (Alien 2) was one of those weak sequels. The first one was a masterpiece of horror and the Giger set design really sets it apart. Compared to this, the second one was a pallid echo that turned into a rehash of "Terminator" at the end. Based on "Aliens", I steered totally clear of the 3rd and 4th movies.

  25. Geek hygeine on Who's Behind the Shower Curtain? · · Score: -1, Redundant

    Who showers anymore? No shower, no germsheet curtain.