How come all these computer vendors are designing parts we do NOT need? I mean, I know how cool fingerprint scanning is -- we've been exposed to it our entire lives, in movies and such. But there's no substitute for a good password. To me, fingerprint scanning is just a Bad Idea.
Here's why: It'll create a black market for fingers.
Think about it! If you want access to someone's financial history, personal information, bank accounts, complete LIFE, all you need to do is chop off a finger or two! Don't think criminals wouldn't be able to go through with this -- it's very easy to see an organized crime syndicate pop up that specializes in fingers, eyeballs, even larynx's if we go as far as to implement widespread voice recognition as a way of identification.
We already have password sniffers -- that's bad enough, but at least it's intellectual theft. We don't need theft of body parts to accomplish the same goals.
It already can, you just need to know the right flags to compile it with.
gcc --WITHOUT_THE_NEED_TO_ENSLAVE_HUMANITY_IN_A_VERY_B AD_MATRIX_RIP-OFFISH_TYPE_OF_WAY genome.txt -o ai
Also, you might want to check on any child processes spawned by your new program. If they get bad, you'll have to spank them manually.
_jeremy
(incidentally, you may wish to give it it's own/home directory once you're done with it. And have you ever tried to potty train a computer program? Let me tell you, when it dumps it's core, it's not a pretty sight.)
It really is very, very funny. The RIAA just does NOT understand how to wage a war against Napster.
Metallica AND Dr. Dre have been successful in getting users off of Napster based off of their studies. So why doesn't the RIAA hire NetPD or whoever it was that did the research, and concentrate on removing users who trade all the songs on their labels? Sure, around 99% of the users would be off Napster, but the RIAA believes that Napster is the cause of their problems. Yes, getting Napster shut down would solve their problems with Napster, but it would also create legal precedents -- suddenly, gun stores would be liable for any crimes committed by the people who purchase guns from the store, pharamacies would be liable if people overdosed on a perscription drug, McDonalds would be liable for 10,000,000 cases of chronic obesity.
I _hated_ Geoworks. It came with my first ever cdrom drive. The thing didn't have anything really useful, was slow, and worst of all, was UGLY as sin. (This was back in the day when the only use for Windows 3.1 I had was for launching up the occasional Solitare game, or to connect to AOL).
But even Win 3.1 made Geoworks look like complete caca.
Apparently, Eidos was set to buy Looking Glass completly, which had been going through a financial crisis (mostly due to having Eidos as a publisher), but Eidos themselves were strapped for cash, so they decided not to buy Looking Glass.
This is what happened.
The real kicker is that they (Eidos) donated $20 million to Ion Storm to help John Romero get Daikatana out the door. I, for one, will delete all games off of my computer the moment I hear that Daikatana sells even half as many copies as Thief II has, or recieves a single greater review than any of Thief II's reviews.
Just to add a little bit of information. Look for Square to continue the FF franchise up to part 15.
Registrant: Square Soft Inc (FF66-DOM) 949 South Coast Drive Suite 200 Costa Mesa, CA 92626 US
Domain Name: FF15.COM
Administrative Contact, Technical Contact, Zone Contact, Billing Contact:
I wouldn't be suprised if it goes past there, but it looks as if ff16.com & ff17.com have already been taken by some 'fans'. But with the release schedule of the Final Fantasy series, I wouldn't expect those registrations to last by the time anything past FF15 is released.;)
If there's one good thing that this entire deal is doing, it's letting music fans know that Metallica acknowledges bootleg recordings as material that they shouldn't touch.
From here. "Metallica has stated that it intends to limit the scope of its notification to commercially released Metallica albums, making "no claim of infringement with respect to recordings of songs made by fans at Metallica live concerts.""
When will the argument be turned from whether or not distributing mp3s are legal to whether or not posessing mp3s are legal? The RIAA is quickly making posession illegal -- even if I own the CD, I'm not allowed to have the mp3's from that CD. That's what struck me the most about the ruling of my.mp3.com. If it's proven that just posessing an mp3 is illegal, no matter the source or means, then the RIAA has already won -- they've proven that mp3's are equivalent to thievery.
The only way for a middle ground is to have a ruling that posessing mp3s from albums you own is legal, the same way that having a backup casette is legal, or having a backup set of disks from early software is legal (this is no longer embraced in the software industry, but was a standard in the early days of software being distributed on 3.5" disks.) Giving away music may be a crime, and wanting a profit (banner ftp sites, donation sites, etc) for distributing music is most certainly a crime, but we need to first establish that we are entitled to have mp3s for cd's we posess.
Ya know, all this hype about Diablo 2 on Slashdot makes me really want to go visit the geek compound after it's release. I'd like to see for myself if every machine there will be running Win32 for a brief moment of time -- something as unlikely as, wait, that really does define itself, doesn't it?
I believe there's going to be lots of Linux to linux/win32 dual boot converters just for this game:)
(Quite honestly, based upon performance of previous games ported to linux, I'd rather play this one on Win32 than linux anyway -- I want this game to run like silk, I don't care if it's stuck to 640x480 resolution)
mp3.com only set itself up for this -- it was a good idea, but in the hands of hackers, or even people who have friends who have cd's, the system becomes immediately flawed. Unfortunately, there were no good workarounds -- the system they had is probably most secure system of it's type. There's very little way of otherwise authenciating that a user owns a CD then to get it's ID number (what those things are called, I'm not sure, but each CD has a unique one, as that is how CDDB distributes it's information). Only two options could make the system more secure:
1. Give EACH cd created it's own ID number. The privacy junkies would scream bloody murder, and there would be hundreds of engineers trying to work on a way of developing a system of making it so each CD has a unique #, but each could be tracked as a common album by this number.
2. Have mp3.com require people to send in their recepits, proving that they purchased the CD. Not likely at all, considering the manpower at mp3.com's end to manage every submission. Plus, waiting 2 weeks to be able to listen to songs online isn't that great either.
The battlefield needs to turn quickly from whether or not is legal to distribute music to whether or not is legal to own mp3s if you already own the album. This case COULD set a precedent that no home user is allowed to rip mp3s, if so, expect mp3.com to go straight after Fraunhofer to be "liable" for the creation of all mp3s to date.
If we can win the argument that we are allowed to have mp3s recorded from albums in our personal album collection, then we can win the argument that we are allowed to distribute these, as long as both parties own a copy of the CD, cassette, LP, wave file, etc. The RIAA isn't dumb, they know how to systematically eliminate mp3s. This first step against mp3.com basically makes possesion of mp3s from albums we own illegal. Because of this, there's very little way that mp3s will EVER see legality, and suddenly, MANY personal items such as the Rio, the VAIO Music Clip, and the Nomad illegal as well).
Or maybe I'm just being a little too pessimistic...
If you ask me, Scientologists really remind me of the Mechanists from Thief 2. At least they don't walk around mindlessly saying things like "Praise L. Ron Hubbard", although it would be fun to sneak into their complex, and blackjack a few of them in the head.
While we're on the subject of Red Hat isn't linux, I think it's time we should reserve the following domain names, just to increase clarity amongst the general public.
www.Linux6Point2DoesNotExistyet.TryAgainIn12Year s.org www.IfYouDontKnowHowToDeleteAFileInWindowsYouSho uldntBeUsingLinux.net www.YesLinuxIsFreeSoQuitAskingHowMuchItWouldCost ToImplementIt.com www.ItIsPossibleToHaveMoreThan24HoursOfUptime.ne t www.NoMicrosoftDoesNotHaveAnySoftwareReleasedFor Linux.com also www.NoMicrosoftDoesNotMakeLinux.WindowsAndLinuxA reTwoVeryDifferentOperatingSystems.com
and my personal favorite www.LinuxIsntJustForGeeksAnymore.org
Finally. This has been one of the biggest headaches I've encountered with lilo. Of course, with a little ingenunity, you can shoehorn lilo into almost any hard disk, but some of the methods used are quite unorthodoxed.
(This means now that I can finally get my friend to try out Linux again. XFree 4, new Lilo, now just as long as it doesn't lock up when it detects his mouse, and he's set:)
Not only that, but if anyone even BOTHERED (novel concept, I know) to read the article on AICN, it says in plain text:
Hola Harry!
Just wanted to drop this little nugget of info. I went to Suncoast today and the employee there mentioned that the Phantom Menace DVD should be out Sept. 12, and that it will have deleted scenes, story board comparisons, and 3 different audio tracks including commentary by Lucas. There are other extras also, but I forgot what they were.He said the price was going to be $39.99.
See ya,
Double Down
Man... Someoen misreports the news, and/. posts it. Is ANYONE suprised?
The American revolution was nothing more then a bunch of freeloaders who didn't want to pay there taxies, after Britain spent hundreds of millions defending the country in the French and Indian war. Please, there was nothing 'movement like' about this revolt
There's a difference between people who think that paying some tarriff is too much for the price of tea, and the people who think that paying ANYTHING for a CD/cassette/8track/LP/(insert your favorite traditional music medium here) is too much.
The people who think that the RIAA and individual recording labels are big, bad and evil for opposing mp3s are just freeloaders, they're not even close to revolutionary. They want something for nothing. They're spoiled, and chances are, they've never actually released a product where they have tried to earn a profit from its sales.
_____________________ .sig Instructions step one: place.sig here
That WWW guide is great, I think I'm gonna mirror it. It brought back SO many memories. I'm pretty sure that most of us/.'ers remember our first webpage we visited, mine was the exploding grape experiment, circa early 1994, using (I believe) the original NSCA Mosaic for Win 3.1 -- packaged with WinCIS (CompuServe). If my dates are wrong, please let me know.
I still remember the day I upgraded from Mosaic to Netscape, of course, little did I know how related they were, but it was so cool, finally being able to download multiple images as well as the text at the same time. No more downloading the HTML, then downloading the background (which of course, was a MUST for webpages back then), then downloading every image. Netscape could handle more than once at a time.
I really wish I could go back in time for an Internet not polluted with noise, just lousy background images...
Any other/.'ers remember their first www page?
_____________________ .sig Instructions step one: place.sig here
Re:What's the _real_ record?
on
Happy Pi Day!
·
· Score: 1
I don't think I'll ever break a record, I once had 13 digits of Pi memorized, but now it's gone down to 10:(
Consider yourself lucky for having a weird memory:)
_____________________ .sig Instructions step one: place.sig here
You don't need to worry about it being dubbed or subtitled, as long as you can follow English movies fairly well.
REMEMBER, the movie is being produced in Hawaii with the voice actors being mostly English speaking individuals. I just feel sorry for the poor folks in the nippon, I mean, they're not used to doing half the translations and localizations we have to do to be able to watch their anime / play their games. Then again, for that same reason, I'm not ALL that sorry for them.:)
_____________________ .sig Instructions step one: place.sig here
The stories haven't been getting worse at all... If anything, Square's doing a better job for each one and hiring better writers. The plots aren't cliched, even though it IS the 8th game in the saga. (Okay, the entire "Save the world from plot device X" is getting a little tired, but these games aren't little stories, they're EPICS).
And I believe most geeks on here would agree with me that working for Square now, developing games on the PS2 (linux based, remember?), would be a DREAM job. Now if I could only become fluent in Japanese. And C.
Personally, all I'm hoping for is that Uematsu is doing the music for the movie, although they have one hell of a tag team between him (Final Fantasy series) and Mitsuda (Xenogears, Chrono * series)
_____________________ .sig Instructions step one: place.sig here
I wonder if Nasa's Galileo is powered by AMD. If so, let's overclock that baby, because hey, when you crash a $1.5 billion probe into an ice-covered satellite, you're not gonna find a better way of cooling down an overclocked chip.
It's just a small matter of it surviving impact.:)
_____________________ .sig Instructions step one: place.sig here
I'd even let the government keep the machines, just as long as they let me go around to each one and install a copy of distributed.net's client, in my name, of course.:)
_____________________ .sig Instructions step one: place.sig here
Drexel won't do a damn thing until they're pressured again. A friend of mine was caught running an ftp server last year: his mistake: 10 user, anonymous, public, leech, and no bandwidth restrictions. And you know how they caught him? Someone found the server, and alerted the admins. Go search on the LAN. Every computer has an mp3 folder, and 99% of them are password restricted. Fortunately, unless they've got some pretty good people working in IRT, those passwords aren't going to be cracked any time soon. I've ran a semi-public leech ftp server for the entire year, and noone's been able to notice it. My bandwidth usage has been near zero on the server during most times of the day, so I doubt they'll really scan my computer for an ftp port. Even if they do, I have their ip's on my banlist.:) Sure, they'll ban napster, but there will be workarounds as soon as it's done. And I, for one, will be glad when that happens. All the dumb people running napster and letting it run 24/7 won't be able to figure out the work needed to get napster to run, and will free up bandwidth for the rest of us.
_____________________ .sig Instructions step one: place.sig here
Slashdot Mirror
How come all these computer vendors are designing parts we do NOT need? I mean, I know how cool fingerprint scanning is -- we've been exposed to it our entire lives, in movies and such. But there's no substitute for a good password. To me, fingerprint scanning is just a Bad Idea.
Here's why: It'll create a black market for fingers.
Think about it! If you want access to someone's financial history, personal information, bank accounts, complete LIFE, all you need to do is chop off a finger or two! Don't think criminals wouldn't be able to go through with this -- it's very easy to see an organized crime syndicate pop up that specializes in fingers, eyeballs, even larynx's if we go as far as to implement widespread voice recognition as a way of identification.
We already have password sniffers -- that's bad enough, but at least it's intellectual theft. We don't need theft of body parts to accomplish the same goals.
Thank you.
It already can, you just need to know the right flags to compile it with.
B AD_MATRIX_RIP-OFFISH_TYPE_OF_WAY genome.txt -o ai
/home directory once you're done with it. And have you ever tried to potty train a computer program? Let me tell you, when it dumps it's core, it's not a pretty sight.)
gcc --WITHOUT_THE_NEED_TO_ENSLAVE_HUMANITY_IN_A_VERY_
Also, you might want to check on any child processes spawned by your new program. If they get bad, you'll have to spank them manually.
_jeremy
(incidentally, you may wish to give it it's own
Metallica AND Dr. Dre have been successful in getting users off of Napster based off of their studies. So why doesn't the RIAA hire NetPD or whoever it was that did the research, and concentrate on removing users who trade all the songs on their labels? Sure, around 99% of the users would be off Napster, but the RIAA believes that Napster is the cause of their problems. Yes, getting Napster shut down would solve their problems with Napster, but it would also create legal precedents -- suddenly, gun stores would be liable for any crimes committed by the people who purchase guns from the store, pharamacies would be liable if people overdosed on a perscription drug, McDonalds would be liable for 10,000,000 cases of chronic obesity.
___
But even Win 3.1 made Geoworks look like complete caca.
___
Apparently, Eidos was set to buy Looking Glass completly, which had been going through a financial crisis (mostly due to having Eidos as a publisher), but Eidos themselves were strapped for cash, so they decided not to buy Looking Glass.
This is what happened.
The real kicker is that they (Eidos) donated $20 million to Ion Storm to help John Romero get Daikatana out the door. I, for one, will delete all games off of my computer the moment I hear that Daikatana sells even half as many copies as Thief II has, or recieves a single greater review than any of Thief II's reviews.
Just to add a little bit of information. Look for Square to continue the FF franchise up to part 15.
;)
Registrant:
Square Soft Inc (FF66-DOM)
949 South Coast Drive Suite 200
Costa Mesa, CA 92626
US
Domain Name: FF15.COM
Administrative Contact, Technical Contact, Zone Contact, Billing Contact:
I wouldn't be suprised if it goes past there, but it looks as if ff16.com & ff17.com have already been taken by some 'fans'. But with the release schedule of the Final Fantasy series, I wouldn't expect those registrations to last by the time anything past FF15 is released.
If there's one good thing that this entire deal is doing, it's letting music fans know that Metallica acknowledges bootleg recordings as material that they shouldn't touch.
From here.
"Metallica has stated that it intends to limit the scope of its notification to commercially released Metallica albums, making "no claim of infringement with respect to recordings of songs made by fans at Metallica live concerts.""
When will the argument be turned from whether or not distributing mp3s are legal to whether or not posessing mp3s are legal? The RIAA is quickly making posession illegal -- even if I own the CD, I'm not allowed to have the mp3's from that CD. That's what struck me the most about the ruling of my.mp3.com. If it's proven that just posessing an mp3 is illegal, no matter the source or means, then the RIAA has already won -- they've proven that mp3's are equivalent to thievery.
The only way for a middle ground is to have a ruling that posessing mp3s from albums you own is legal, the same way that having a backup casette is legal, or having a backup set of disks from early software is legal (this is no longer embraced in the software industry, but was a standard in the early days of software being distributed on 3.5" disks.) Giving away music may be a crime, and wanting a profit (banner ftp sites, donation sites, etc) for distributing music is most certainly a crime, but we need to first establish that we are entitled to have mp3s for cd's we posess.
Ya know, all this hype about Diablo 2 on Slashdot makes me really want to go visit the geek compound after it's release. I'd like to see for myself if every machine there will be running Win32 for a brief moment of time -- something as unlikely as, wait, that really does define itself, doesn't it?
:)
I believe there's going to be lots of Linux to linux/win32 dual boot converters just for this game
(Quite honestly, based upon performance of previous games ported to linux, I'd rather play this one on Win32 than linux anyway -- I want this game to run like silk, I don't care if it's stuck to 640x480 resolution)
mp3.com only set itself up for this -- it was a good idea, but in the hands of hackers, or even people who have friends who have cd's, the system becomes immediately flawed. Unfortunately, there were no good workarounds -- the system they had is probably most secure system of it's type. There's very little way of otherwise authenciating that a user owns a CD then to get it's ID number (what those things are called, I'm not sure, but each CD has a unique one, as that is how CDDB distributes it's information). Only two options could make the system more secure:
1. Give EACH cd created it's own ID number. The privacy junkies would scream bloody murder, and there would be hundreds of engineers trying to work on a way of developing a system of making it so each CD has a unique #, but each could be tracked as a common album by this number.
2. Have mp3.com require people to send in their recepits, proving that they purchased the CD. Not likely at all, considering the manpower at mp3.com's end to manage every submission. Plus, waiting 2 weeks to be able to listen to songs online isn't that great either.
The battlefield needs to turn quickly from whether or not is legal to distribute music to whether or not is legal to own mp3s if you already own the album. This case COULD set a precedent that no home user is allowed to rip mp3s, if so, expect mp3.com to go straight after Fraunhofer to be "liable" for the creation of all mp3s to date.
If we can win the argument that we are allowed to have mp3s recorded from albums in our personal album collection, then we can win the argument that we are allowed to distribute these, as long as both parties own a copy of the CD, cassette, LP, wave file, etc. The RIAA isn't dumb, they know how to systematically eliminate mp3s. This first step against mp3.com basically makes possesion of mp3s from albums we own illegal. Because of this, there's very little way that mp3s will EVER see legality, and suddenly, MANY personal items such as the Rio, the VAIO Music Clip, and the Nomad illegal as well).
Or maybe I'm just being a little too pessimistic...
If you ask me, Scientologists really remind me of the Mechanists from Thief 2. At least they don't walk around mindlessly saying things like "Praise L. Ron Hubbard", although it would be fun to sneak into their complex, and blackjack a few of them in the head.
While we're on the subject of Red Hat isn't linux, I think it's time we should reserve the following domain names, just to increase clarity amongst the general public.
r s.org o uldntBeUsingLinux.net t ToImplementIt.com e t r Linux.com A reTwoVeryDifferentOperatingSystems.com
www.Linux6Point2DoesNotExistyet.TryAgainIn12Yea
www.IfYouDontKnowHowToDeleteAFileInWindowsYouSh
www.YesLinuxIsFreeSoQuitAskingHowMuchItWouldCos
www.ItIsPossibleToHaveMoreThan24HoursOfUptime.n
www.NoMicrosoftDoesNotHaveAnySoftwareReleasedFo
also
www.NoMicrosoftDoesNotMakeLinux.WindowsAndLinux
and my personal favorite
www.LinuxIsntJustForGeeksAnymore.org
Oops. Since when was unorthodoxed a verb?
:)
(read: methods used are quite unorthodox)
Maybe I should just pick a different word. I like "weird"
Finally. This has been one of the biggest headaches I've encountered with lilo. Of course, with a little ingenunity, you can shoehorn lilo into almost any hard disk, but some of the methods used are quite unorthodoxed.
:)
(This means now that I can finally get my friend to try out Linux again. XFree 4, new Lilo, now just as long as it doesn't lock up when it detects his mouse, and he's set
Man... Someoen misreports the news, and
The American revolution was nothing more then a bunch of freeloaders who didn't want to pay there taxies, after Britain spent hundreds of millions defending the country in the French and Indian war. Please, there was nothing 'movement like' about this revolt
.sig Instructions .sig here
There's a difference between people who think that paying some tarriff is too much for the price of tea, and the people who think that paying ANYTHING for a CD/cassette/8track/LP/(insert your favorite traditional music medium here) is too much.
The people who think that the RIAA and individual recording labels are big, bad and evil for opposing mp3s are just freeloaders, they're not even close to revolutionary. They want something for nothing. They're spoiled, and chances are, they've never actually released a product where they have tried to earn a profit from its sales.
_____________________
step one: place
So now that Slackware is a marketable company, where can I pick up a pair of Slackware logo-emblazoned boxers? :)
.sig Instructions .sig here
_____________________
step one: place
That WWW guide is great, I think I'm gonna mirror it. It brought back SO many memories. I'm pretty sure that most of us /.'ers remember our first webpage we visited, mine was the exploding grape experiment, circa early 1994, using (I believe) the original NSCA Mosaic for Win 3.1 -- packaged with WinCIS (CompuServe). If my dates are wrong, please let me know.
/.'ers remember their first www page?
.sig Instructions .sig here
I still remember the day I upgraded from Mosaic to Netscape, of course, little did I know how related they were, but it was so cool, finally being able to download multiple images as well as the text at the same time. No more downloading the HTML, then downloading the background (which of course, was a MUST for webpages back then), then downloading every image. Netscape could handle more than once at a time.
I really wish I could go back in time for an Internet not polluted with noise, just lousy background images...
Any other
_____________________
step one: place
I don't think I'll ever break a record, I once had 13 digits of Pi memorized, but now it's gone down to 10 :(
:)
.sig Instructions .sig here
Consider yourself lucky for having a weird memory
_____________________
step one: place
You don't need to worry about it being dubbed or subtitled, as long as you can follow English movies fairly well.
:)
.sig Instructions .sig here
REMEMBER, the movie is being produced in Hawaii with the voice actors being mostly English speaking individuals. I just feel sorry for the poor folks in the nippon, I mean, they're not used to doing half the translations and localizations we have to do to be able to watch their anime / play their games. Then again, for that same reason, I'm not ALL that sorry for them.
_____________________
step one: place
The stories haven't been getting worse at all... If anything, Square's doing a better job for each one and hiring better writers. The plots aren't cliched, even though it IS the 8th game in the saga. (Okay, the entire "Save the world from plot device X" is getting a little tired, but these games aren't little stories, they're EPICS).
.sig Instructions .sig here
And I believe most geeks on here would agree with me that working for Square now, developing games on the PS2 (linux based, remember?), would be a DREAM job. Now if I could only become fluent in Japanese. And C.
Personally, all I'm hoping for is that Uematsu is doing the music for the movie, although they have one hell of a tag team between him (Final Fantasy series) and Mitsuda (Xenogears, Chrono * series)
_____________________
step one: place
I wonder if Nasa's Galileo is powered by AMD. If so, let's overclock that baby, because hey, when you crash a $1.5 billion probe into an ice-covered satellite, you're not gonna find a better way of cooling down an overclocked chip.
:)
.sig Instructions .sig here
It's just a small matter of it surviving impact.
_____________________
step one: place
I'd even let the government keep the machines, just as long as they let me go around to each one and install a copy of distributed.net's client, in my name, of course. :)
.sig Instructions .sig here
_____________________
step one: place
Ahh... you sweet gullible frosh.
:) Sure, they'll ban napster, but there will be workarounds as soon as it's done. And I, for one, will be glad when that happens. All the dumb people running napster and letting it run 24/7 won't be able to figure out the work needed to get napster to run, and will free up bandwidth for the rest of us.
.sig Instructions .sig here
Drexel won't do a damn thing until they're pressured again. A friend of mine was caught running an ftp server last year: his mistake: 10 user, anonymous, public, leech, and no bandwidth restrictions. And you know how they caught him? Someone found the server, and alerted the admins. Go search on the LAN. Every computer has an mp3 folder, and 99% of them are password restricted. Fortunately, unless they've got some pretty good people working in IRT, those passwords aren't going to be cracked any time soon. I've ran a semi-public leech ftp server for the entire year, and noone's been able to notice it. My bandwidth usage has been near zero on the server during most times of the day, so I doubt they'll really scan my computer for an ftp port. Even if they do, I have their ip's on my banlist.
_____________________
step one: place
With the size of each individual particle of Guinness, I can imagine it'd be more like flea/mite bowling that it would be drinking.
.sig Instructions .sig here
Mite1: "Here it comes!" *WHAK!*
Mite2: "Yay!" *WHAK!*
(repeat 10^3 times for every square inch of beard)
-- leave it to programmers to declare Guinness becoming lost in a beard not as a bug, but as a "feature".
_____________________
step one: place