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Bearded Drinkers Lose Guinness
Dr. Winston L. O'Boogie writes "According to this BBC report, bearded drinkers in Northern Ireland lose up to £23 of Guinness annually in their facial hair. It is also estimated that 162,719 pints are wasted each year. Where does the beer actually go?"
we aren't losing it. we're just savoring it longer
"The things we wizards have to put up with."--Jethro Bodine
lose money on shaving equip. or lose beer. you just can't win.
Standing in the Sunlight Howling at the Moon
163,954 pounds last year alone. thank you.
We bearded people do not ever lose a single drop of the nectar. We just store some for later, for when the misus is menacing us with some hard object if our feet move pubwise.
Cheers,
m.
-- It's always darker before it goes pitch black.
A novice monk approached the Master and said:
"Bearded drinkers in Northern Ireland lose up to £9 of Guinness annually in their facial hair. It is also estimated that 162,719 pints are wasted each year. Where does the beer actually go?"
Without saying a word, the Master beat the novice monk to death with a bamboo stick.
What's next: the conspiracy behind piling dust balls and disappearing socks? Fear and loathin' with number 42? Experimental apocalyctism within confined spaces reserved for mass transport machinery?
Finally, out of all the folks with facial hair, why did they pick George Michael to reference? Didn't he have sort of a fall from grace in the public eye? They could have used one of the guys from ZZ Top, Dom Deloise, C. Everett Coupe or possibly even Bea Arthur.
More race stuff in one place,
than any one place on the net.
Has anyone ever tried mixing it with jim beam?? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yummy you'll be puking ur guts out all night :\
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# iptables -A INPUT -s 0/0 -j DROP
*shrug*
Ralph Furmaniak
The Great AIP
I can just picture a group of fleas/mites getting drunk on Guinness ;)
-- "If you don't break it how can you learn how to fix it?" GU/E d->d-- s-:-- a--- C+++ L+ N++ w++>++++$ PS+ Y+(
Now that I've read this story I can die in peace.
"A genuine moustache has been proven to contribute to a significant Guinness wastage, as a result of inter-fibre retention at every sip," the company said in a statement.
This is why England should allow everyone to have a gun. More crime == Less stories on the beer absorption of facial hair. In America, we have stories about the absorption rate of blood; cotton versus polyester - which helps clotting?
Ok, so its just my 2 cents - and please dont take me seriously on this one folks.
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Looking for hardware (Currently need: Large Etch-a-Sketch) Have one? See my journal!
.
the world just isn't what it used to be.
What it used to be,
back in the good ole days
The good ol' days,
Of Nineteen umpty two
Back then, we didn't have any cars
We didn't even have any shoes
Course, we didn't need them cause, we had no legs
We did not see this as a problem because towns were much smaller back then
You could just reach to the left
and you'reat the grocery store
Reach to the right
And you're at the book store
Now with all uv these cars
and ships
and legs
you have to travel all the way to the moon to get a good meal
Av been hearing good things about the moon
I haven't been there, but I have been hearing good things about it
Of course,
I should know since
I built the moon
I started it quite late because first I had to invent oxygen
It was not a very good life before I invented oxygen,
people were not living long
Actually it was I who got the first fish to come out of the sea
But no dinosaurs
I don't like dinosaurs
That's why I got rid of them
As I was sayi
Transfer Interrupted: Message Limit Reached
Ralph Furmaniak
The Great AIP (Artificial Intelligence Project)
I'm not senile, I'm just creative.
Ralph Furmaniak
The Great AIP (Artificial Intelligence Project)
CmdrTaco changes E theme
Posted by CmdrTaco on 10:56 PM February 31th, 2000
from the Eye-candy-for-X dept.
Dr. Rast D. E'Rman writes "According to this ftp.enlightenment.org log, CmdrTaco in the Geek Compound downloaded up to 9meg of Ethemes. It is also estimated that 162.719 bytes are wasted each download. Where do the packets actually go?"
Being an avid drinker of guiness, I'm pretty sure those nine pounds didn's go far
...damn shrinking pants...
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity -RAH
Where does the beer actually go?
Isn't Guinness technically stout, not beer?
For more information, click here.
i really wonder how those people from the guinness brewery carried out these experiments to be able to tell the amount of beer being lost in the beards. they'd probably have to wash off the beer with a known amount of water and measure in how much more liquid it would result after ten times or so.
Amazon.com has just patented the process of extracting Guinness from facial hair. Anyone hand-wringing Guinness from their beard will be charged $13.50 plus treble damages for each year of said offence.
I guess our head of Linux Internation may need to shave down before his next Guinness. Oh, and Alan Cox too? :p
its terrible that people are losing beer/money but maybe it isn't really that bad.
If memory serves me correctly than for every time you drink 3 liters of you urinate 4 liters of fluid.
So you are not paying for lost beer but for less trips to the mens room (or womens room in some cases ; ) )
its a feature, not a bug : )
for one, i believe in the culivating effects of alcohol on facial hair... as an extension to this theory : the expression " It'll make you grow hair on your chest" is all spill from ppl too drunk too keep their mouths shut and consequently they spill on their chest
mvg,
Kris "dJOEK" Vandecruys
Exercise caution when modding this message up: the author acts like a jerk when his karma is excellent.
Isn't Guinness technically stout, not beer?
Stout is a type (or style) of beer. There are many types of beer. For more on the subject click here.
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Friends don't let friends enable ecmascript.
Use a straw while drinking beer.
That way, not only will you keep the precious nectar away from any facial hair, but you'll also be able to slurp up any leftover foam on the bottom.
Cheers,
Bart
I like this guy:
"I'd like to become a Guinness researcher," said actor Tim McGarry.
Well, they got the results back and did some number crunching on them and found, that surprisingly, the more facial hair the driver had the more likely they were to have an accident. They also found that the smaller the 'view circle', i.e. how thick and close the 'pillars' are to the driver, the more accidents they had, also the more stickers they had in the windows, again increased the chances of an accident.
All in all, they discovered that if you were on a motorbike about to cross at a T junction, and there was a driver you had a full moustache and beard, was driving a certain make of car with a certain religious sticker in the window, you just might as well put the bike down there and then, because, like it or not, the odds were that they were going to pull out on you.
So, to bring me to my point: this stuff about the beard soaking up the pint whilst in the act of supping is laughable. It is quite obvious to me that they are missing their mouths in the first place and spilling it. This is not due to the fact they have a beard, but is in the nature of people who want to wear a beard. None is apparent on their clothing because, yes, the beard does in fact soak it up. So the researcher has, by the nature of the questioning got the answer they want.
threadeds blog
At least by your use of the word 'Asphalt' I'd guess you're not in Ireland. So I understand that you've not experienced proper guinness..... or proper beer for that matter.
I know that in this age of the global community that geographical locations means less & less (as long as you can get internet access!) but what's the geographical breakdown of /. readers like ? How many readers here are actually from Northern Irealnd (or originally from)? I am...
I can believe this, I'll have to stop growing my beard immediately, btw I wonder if this is just specific to us Northern Irish drinkers or does it affect the worlds drinkers? If so that's a lot og the black stuff going to waste.
OK, we've seen this once, we've seen this twice. Please give it a rest. I doubt the NSA is going to cause problems with Guinness consumption.
No way, Guinness is the best... racehorse owners in Ireland feed it to their horses, so I figure it has to help me code. Plus, it's like an entire meal in a glass.
There must be some significant loss of beer caused by the amount wasted from getting totally shitfaced, dribbling brown chunks and corn down your shirt, and using a toilet as a pillow.
"sort of a fall from grace in the public eye?"
.oO0Oo.
Has the media taken hold of your mind?
Getting caught wanking is something funny to be happily shared with the world aint it?
It's not like any of us hasn't been in a place where getting caught would be embarrassing.
Perhaps they should have worked out how much spunk gets lost in your pubes.
There are places where the networks are not touching,and there are places where they are-Boeing's Lori Gunter
As one who has been to Ireland and the Guiness brewery in Dublin, I can definately attest to it tasting different here in the states. In an old /. poll somebody said the reason is that it is pasteurized here.
In Republican America phones tap you.
I'm guessing it dries in their beards and washes out the next time they shower. Just a crazy thought.
I keep being amazed at the enormous amounts of time "scientists" seem to be having on their hands lately. You can't be serious about research like this. This is of no public interest whatsoever and I think they could at least use their time for something research worthy. I'm not saying that they shouldn't have fun with it, but I hope they didn't get a grant or some other form of pay for this research. #include
Tsc. I tell ya, you kiddies have it easy. Back in the day, we didn't have any of those fancy schmancy shaving creams or aftershave or blades or anything like that. Nosiree bob. Try using a Gillette when you've got a sabertooth coming after ya, I'll tell you that! Hell no. We used our own two-inch fingernails to shave, and we LIKED it! Now THAT's a real man. Ah, those were the days...
To the editors: your English is as bad as your Perl. Please go back to grade school.
Since I am from Canada, I can understand many American "Beer" drinkers' aversions to drinking Guinness. American beer is very week and almost clear. Clear beer? It just isn't right. You should come up to eastern Canada and try some of our micro-brewed beers. Beers with 6 or 7 % alcohol content, not that wussy 4 %. And while I'm raving, how about that American "coffee". It's also virtually clear - kind of an amber color. You can even see the bottom of your cup! What's with that?
The statistics offer little hint here.
Do they mean, "The average person who describes themselves as a Guinness drinker." Do they mean, "The average person who drinks Guinness at least X times a week." Do they mean, "The person who consumes an average Guinness." (Thanks to the lightbulb paradox, the last is likely the heaviest drinker.)
Then once we know what they mean by an "average Guinness drinker", what is their estimate of how much said drinker drinks? That is the important point. Are we estimating that people lose 10% of their Guinness to the beard? A tenth of a percent? What?
Without a concept of that someone like myself who likes Guinness (particularly in the form of a black-and-tan) but does not often consume it will have no idea how to judge how much I personally save in beer by shaving.
Cheers,
Ben
My usual seat in the cluetrain is at A HREF="http://pub4.ezboard.com/biwethey.ht
... being soaked up in my beard, rather than showing up as a nasty stain on my shirt.
Studies have shown women find men with beards sexier & more "manly"
Personal experience has shown that women find guys with nasty beer stains on their shirt aren't worth talking to.
I can't believe they didn't compare the guiness loss to the amount of food lost each year in people's beards. Watch out for that peanut butter!
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"It was people! People soiled our green!"
for beer lost when run thru the soup strainer and cookie duster.
Hopefully you know the story about the Guinness Book or World Records - see, bar patrons inevitably get into arguments over who's got the biggest this and what's the fastest that - kinda like discussions of Apache vs IIS or benchmarketing - so Guinness publishes a book that the bartender can whip out to settle such disputes before it comes to fistcuffs.
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
Um, interesting that this story should pop up this morning on my considering that tonight is the annual Great Guinnes Toast. February 26th, at 11:30PM EST (EST=GMT-5.) You may read about it at http://www.guinness.ie, but you must enter your age to verify that you are 21.
Also I believe that the results of this study are wildly inaccurate. I can't believe even amateurs would account for such a loss of Guinness. If this were accurate I'm sure that someone would damn well be looking for a solution to this problem. Why hasn't there been been a 'Voices from the HairMouth' article or something like that, hmm?
numb
i beleive they take their beard-guinness home and wring it out into a nice hot bowl of grits and pour it down their pants. thank you.
Does this mean that Alan Cox should stop drinking?
Canada beer stronger? I think not. You forget that the two countries calculate the percentage differently (IIRC, one based on weight, one based on volume). Read the Beer FAQ for more info. Bottom line - they are the same strength.
True, I live close to St. James Gate in Dublin, and the smell alone tastes good. I live in Germany now though, and it's virtually undrinkable. The stuff they get here is made in south of Paris, it's stronger (6% as opposed to 4.3%), but it tastes like bad Murphys. If you're ever in Italy, don't drink it either, it's from London, it's the same 4.3%, but it *does* taste like asphalt. I'm not certain where your Guiness comes from (assuming you're Amercian is fairly safe ;-) )but it's highly unlikely it comes from Dublin or Belfast, the only two acceptable kinds of The Black Stuff. It simply doesn't travel well, so they brew it closer to the market. So you're stuck with asphaly 'till you make it to my local (The Gravediggers in Glasnevin, Dublin. Officially the 2nd best pint in Ireland)
Sure, if you drink Bud. But the States also have a lot of really great microbreweries that make very good beer. I've lived in both Canada and the States and I think the best American beer is better than anything made in Canada.
Oh my God!
That is where all my beer is going. That's it. Now I have a reason to shave.
WHO CARES.
Snorp
Bottom line - they are the same strength.
Then how come I drank 6 US college students under the table on a camping trip to Myrtle Beach when I was 12.
And no, I wasn't a pre-teen alcoholic. I had the occasional CDN Beer (1 or 2, every other weekend) under my dad's supervision.
Currently, I can usually drink 6 CDN bottles of beer before getting a buzz going, and that number almost doubles when I'm south of the border. (US beer is fizzier too) Also, as a bartender, I've seen American tourists get obliterated unbelievably quickly on our local swill.
And besides, if its based on weight, would that meen that beer gets stronger or weaker as you move up a mountain?
..did The Onion change format to the slash?
Computers save man alot of guesswork, but so does the bikini
That ladies and gentlemen, is why the beard sucks.
So how does quantity consumed in the recent past correlate with proportion of guinness lost? :-)
Cheers,
Ben
My usual seat in the cluetrain is at A HREF="http://pub4.ezboard.com/biwethey.ht
(AP) - Los Angeles - Fox Networks announced today the newest prime-time special to debut for the May sweeps week.
"Who Wants To Marry A Crusty, Guiness-In-His-Beard Drunk European Guy" will bring the chance to one lucky American girl to get hitched to the most prolific European male in today's exciting culture. 50 women will compete in such events as the drunken foosball tournament, back shaving competition, and the semi-final contest, the fish-wrapping race. The mystery Guiness-In-His-Beard Drunk European Guy will receive advice and counsel from special guest judges ZZ Top and former professional wrestler "Hillbilly Jim". The happy couple, at the conclusion of the show will be wed in an exciting 3 minute ceremony, followed by 15 minutes of commericals and an exciting trailer for the upcoming "Robbie Knievel jumps over 50,000 bowls of steaming hot grits on top of a 200 foot-high pile of Windows 2000 Advanced Server CDs".
sorry, I have a touch of the flu and the Dimetapp is getting to me.
My friend for those who like their stout, it is Harp Colone.
Here in the US of A, one can buy Guinness in cans or bottles. Since the topic has come up, I thought it would be important to mention that Guinness is the one brew that is better in the can than in the bottle. The can has a widget in the bottom that, to put it in geek terms, "builds the head dynamically". Pop the can, pour into an appropriate vessel, and you get [almost] the same head and cascade as a glass from the tap.
What the h*ll does this have to do with "News for Nerds. Stuff that matters." ?
What is the "Lightbulb Paradox"?
I'd wager that's a bit stronger than Molson Ice (yes, that's blatantly unfair, but so were your characterizations of American brews).
As someone (Bob Hope?) once said, "That'll put hair on your chest, and part it in the middle."
If you ever get a chance to try this brew, do so. It's quite an experience.
Here's a brief review.
We have many, many fine brews here in Oregon. You might want to try them before slagging on American brewers.
One of my non-Oregon favorites (but not far from Oregon): Downtown Brown, from the Lost Coast Brewery in Eureka, California.
New XFMail home page
...would create such uproar over the method of getting these statistics.
Personally, I'm more bothered by the amount of free time these Irish poll-takers have. What's next?
News Flash: Northern Ireland study shows that the average child will, between birth and the age of five, flind over 2.5 tons of food. "These kids are like Pedro Martinez!" says one researcher, "They were getting creamed carrots in their parents' faces at over 50 yards!"
Then again, I could be wrong.
At least by your use of the word 'Asphalt' I'd guess you're not in Ireland. So I understand that you've not experienced proper guinness..... or proper beer for that matter.
I don't know about the US where, from what I gather reading the comments here, Guinness is only available in a can, but I can attest that here in Canada, where it's available on tap at any pub worth its salt, it tastes like a dream.
It's well known that American beer is often watered down, at least compared to here, where we dismiss it as being for "children and the infirm". So it's quite possible that many people just don't know better...
Guiness is the most generic stout you can find. It's the Budweiser of stouts - the only thing it has going for it is its name.
I don't care if X million people drink it daily; there's probably 5 times as many that drink Coors Lite, and we all know the quality of that "beer".
So using a straw to drink it wouldn't really make a difference for the proverbial Joe Blow, since most of them don't know even know a stout from a porter.
And it prevents their facial hair from absorbing the drink.
Of course, the better beers should be savoured from a nicely chilled glass...
It goes into /dev/null ;-)
Quite true... remember the ill-fated attempt to introduce Budweiser beer (at the American 3%) to Canada? Remember their huge ad campaign where they attempted to re-market it by strengthening it to put it on par with our beer?
As someone else posted earlier, Canadians tend to dismiss American beers as being for "children and the elderly."
Not to say that all Canadian beers are great, either though. But when you've got as many breweries as we have, a few bad ones have to slip through. In terms of sheer numbers, Canada produces more brands of beer than any other nation on the planet. This is mostly the fault of beer itself, being that it doesn't transport well, so you've got to have a ton of breweries when you've got a country so damn large.
In any case, when you've got "Fin du Monde" and "Maudite" at 9 to 12%, in a 750mL bottle, there's not much American beers can do for you.
As for Guinness... it puts all of our beers to shame, at least here on Vancouver Island.
There are many statements, here is one. "With better than even odds the lightbulb currently in your lightbulb socket will last longer than the lightbulb that you use after it."
It seems impossible, hence the name, "The Lightbulb Paradox".
The reason for it is a sampling bias. When you choose the lightbulb in a socket at a specific time, the odds of a given lightbulb being picked are proportional to how long it lasted.
In this case a random drink is more likely to be chosen by a heavy drinker than a random drinker.
Cheers,
Ben
My usual seat in the cluetrain is at A HREF="http://pub4.ezboard.com/biwethey.ht
Irish police are on the lookout for a dangerous criminal. Labelled the "Shaver", he has been prowling the countryside, breaking into people's homes, and shaving the beards off of several of the men known to frequent the many pubs in the country.
While the Shaver's motives are unclear, it is even more unclear as to why the victims become so distraught after losing their facial hair. Shane O'Connor, a wife of one of the victims, said, "Well, I told me husband ne'er to go to those awful bars again. He's been good about it for a whole month, he 'as. But ever since this Shaver character relieved him of his beard, he's been trembling like mad, and every moment I take me eyes off the devil, he's off in some dirty pub again!"
In other news, a new brewery has sprung up in Northern Ireland. Called the Bearded Guiness Company, this new brewery has managed to output an enormous volume of quality Guiness stout, without any apparent source. More on this amazing little brewery at 6:00.
-Joe
Some anonymous coward dun said:
Speak for yerself. As an American, I can truthfully say that I cannot stand most American pisswater that passes itself off as beer. Literally about the only two "big" brands I find remotely drinkable are Red Dog (actually tastes a lot like the American version of Molson) and some of the Michelob stuff (because, among other things, Michelob actually makes heifeweisens and dark beers).
Most of what I drink tends to be either microbrew stuff, Negra Modelo (fortunately, Negra Modelo is very easy to find in Louisville, what with the largish Mexican population here) or stuff like heifeweisens that I have to go somewhere like Liquor Outlet (big warehouse stores for alcohol) to get...I'd drink more Guinness except that the stuff is ruddy expensive here (average price for a six-pack of Guinness in the Southeastern US tends to be around US$9--which is around Can$15 if I remember my exchange rates right), so it must remain an occasional treat *sigh*...
If I remember right, the main reason most beers in the US are a) pisswater and b) usually just 4 percent or so have to do with a) the fact that the largest brewery here (Budweiser) actually uses rice as a base (now you know why the Japanese love Bud--it tastes like a better version of Asahi or Kirin :) and because of funky rules regarding alcoholic strength and labeling here in the States (up to around six percent, if memory serves, can be labeled as beer, and two-percent beer is actually sold in some states; anything between six and twelve percent legally has to be sold as "malt liquor", and I'm not sure if it's legal to sell beer-like beverages that are over twelve percent).
But no, you're not the only one who can't drink American beer. :) My sister, on the other hand, can't see how I like dark beer (then again, her favourite beers are Miller Blight and Tequiza, so go figure)...
Coffee, on the other hand, is another thing altogether. ;) I seriously take it that you have never had good, old, authentic "trucker coffee" in a truck-stop in the States. Trucker coffee is by no means clear--it is black as the Ace of Spades, is probably closer to a syrup than a liquid if done properly, and can be used as paint-stripper if one isn't brave enough to drink the stuff. ;)
Needless to say, especially in the Southeast US, you will usually have a choice of either tea or trucker coffee (and if you're REALLY far south, like Louisiana, you start hitting that zone where you will get chicory in your coffee whether you want it or not--chicory actually makes coffee MORE bitter and gives it a unique flavour; Kentucky, I think, is around the northernmost limit of where chicory coffee is regularly sold). I can only assume wussy, see-through coffee is sold mostly up North...
(As an aside, I was raised on trucker-coffee, and most "normal" brews don't have that much taste to me. To me, "normal strength" means that even after a liberal amount of sugar and cream are added one can STILL taste coffee. Alas, my husband won't allow me to make non-espresso-based coffee anymore because he claims that the coffee I make could kick-start a corpse ;) (Then again, that's the entire PURPOSE of trucker coffee--to make it so strong as to wake the very dead from their slumber and let them drive cross-country. Believe you me when I say that the modern geek has STILL not quite gotten to the level of caffeine dependence and experimentation as the modern American trucker ;)
-Windigo The Feral (NYAR!)
From a few years back, the seminal Feline Reactions to Bearded Men.
Today Guinness will attempt to break their previous world record for simultaneanous toast at your local participating pub. Check it out at:
http://www.guinness.ie/
It also just so happens to be my birthday, so have a toast for me!
I have noticed a trend. The same people who don't like guiness don't like spicy food, and tend to eat nothing but bland mush and drink "lite" beer. I say fuck'em.
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Play Six Pack Man. I
Are you sure about Canada producing the most beers? ;-)
I'm fortunate enough to be working in Belgium at the moment.....
I get the feeling that the average beer menu comes with an index, appendices, illustrations and a short foreword by the author....
Information wants to be beer.
I will sometimes compromise and use a straw with beer (although generally not with guiness), so i can put a bunch of it in a plastic convenience store soda cup and drink it in public (usually while sitting in the public square or in collegetown watching the girls go by... =:-)
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Play Six Pack Man. I
I leave it to others to decide for themselves whether this is worthy of a score of 5 or if 2 or 3 would have been more appropriate, but it is not insightful. It is informative, and I'd be willing to stretch the point and accept interesting, but someone needs to increase their understanding of the meaning of insightful.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Since I am from Canada, I can understand many American "Beer" drinkers' aversions to drinking Guinness. American beer is very week and almost clear. Clear beer? It just isn't right. You should come up to eastern Canada and try some of our micro-brewed beers. Beers with 6 or 7 % alcohol content, not that wussy 4%.
You haven't had good American beer. Ignore most Macrobrews; about the only thing decent there is Pete's Wicked, Sam Adams, or Henry Weinhards. American microbrews are usually pretty good, though, Rogue Ale up in Oregon makes some good stuff, as do the people down in San Diego who make Arrogant Bastard Ale.
Of course, Americans aren't the only ones who make crappy Macrobrewed beer. In Mexico, Corona and Corona Light (!) come to mind. Corona Light actually looks like white grape juice it's so light. Peroni from Italy pretty well sucks, and everyone knows Fosters is Australian for Millah Lite.
And while I'm raving, how about that American "coffee". It's also virtually clear - kind of an amber color. You can even see the bottom of your cup! What's with that?
A coffee shop near our home makes a "Piledriver", which has 6 shots of espresso. Not only can't you see the bottom of your cup, you need a spoon (and afterwards, a complete neurological physical) when you drink it.
-- "God, Root, what is difference?" - Pitr, "User Friendly"
Guiness: The drink that answers the question -- "What if socks were liquid?"
I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you
What are you talking about? If you want to enjoy real mens beer, drink mexican beer: Tecate, Pacifico (sold in the Mexican Northwest) and XX-Lager. Theyre the best. Pacifico rulez!!!!
See article...
Information wants to be beer.
American mass-produced beer certainly isn't the most flavorful stuff out there, but most of it is about 5% alcohol by VOLUME. This is where most Canadian beer (not the most flavorful stuff either IMO) is at and slightly stronger than Irish draft Guinness. Most of the belief that American beer is 'watered down' is based on lack of flavor and on the fact that American brewers have traditionally used alcohol by WEIGHT as the percentage measure. Since alcohol is lighter than water, this leads to percentages that are seemingly about 20% lower than the ABV figures.
Mike Stewart, beer nerd.
I don't know what they were selling in Canada, but American Budweiser is 5% alcohol by volume. You can probably find The Essentials of Beer Style by Fred Eckhardt on amazon.com if you would like to do your homework and get correct figures on this sort of thing.
In any case, when you've got "Fin du Monde" and "Maudite" at 9 to 12%, in a 750mL bottle, there's not much American beers can do for you.I don't want to turn this into a pissing match: These are good beers (the best beers of any sort I've had from Canada, in fact and probably the best Belgian-style beers I've had outside of Belgium), but there are breweries making similarly strong Belgian-style beers in America. New Belgium Brewing is probably the biggest, although I don't think they are as good as the ones you mention by Unibroue. One of my favorites among the strong non-Belgians is Sierra Nevada Bigfoot: it usually hovers between 9% and 11% alcohol by volume and it's vastly hoppier than anything I've had from Canada. Some of us love our hops. If you haven't tried Sierra Nevada, you probably shouldn't make general comments on the state of American beer. These days America has more small breweries than just about any place except perhaps Germany.
Mike Stewart, beer nerd.
Those beers are amazing!!!! And not because of alcohol strength, but just because of their flavour and aroma. "Blanche de Chambly" (sp?) is significantly weaker (alchohol-wise), yet it's every bit as good.
For those who don't know which beers these are, they are French Canadian beers made by a company called "UniBroue", imported in the USA by a "Unibrew", in big 750ml bottles. These beers are great stuff, if you see one of them, buy it immediately.
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Arg, no. I know there are three places that have Guinness on tap within two blocks of where I am sitting right now. Some of the other restaurants and bars might also serve it. I live in West Palm Beach, Florida (and my office is right on Clematis, downtown, FWIW).
There's also a renfaire (Renissance Festival) just south of here that has literally dozens of beer tents, and I believe that they only have Guinness.
As Guinness on tap is the only beer I will drink, I can say that I don't really have a hard time finding it. About a third of the time, it arrives in a mug, but that's not too terrible.
I can come in, get hyper on coffee and penguin mints, walk across the street for lunch, down a few pints, walk back, and start in on serious coding. Around five or so, I start back in on coffee.[1]
The average American beer is very light and sweet, and I would imagine that is why he dosen't like it. There are plenty of alternatives available, however. Sort of like American TV. NBC, CBS, ABC and FOX are your most visible networks, and most show crap with few exceptions, but there are hundreds of lesser, better or niche sources, like PBS, The Learning Channel, Animal Planet, The History Channel, etc. Don't forget that your average FOX fan would consider Yo-yo Ma to 'taste like Asphalt'. That dosen't mean that good cello is not available or not appreciated in America. We're just... big and varied in our tastes.
Oh, and on the radio, after every Guinness ad, they always say something along the lines of: "Imported by the Guinness Brewing Company". Dunno what they import - the mash or beer, but something is imported.
[1] Not that this is an everyday event, by any means - except for the coffee. I've long since stopped figuring out how much I drink by cup... I am literally up to a half gallon or more a day, washing down penguin mints. I know this because I french press a half gallon each morning to take into the office, and I have taken to making a Dunkin Donuts run at around 8pm. I wonder how much I loose to my full beard?
--
Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
On one of the morning radio programs here in Ireland yesterday a
:-)
"recognized" beard expert was quite critical of this article.
He supposedly made a similar experiment for his thesis and had alot
of other factors which were not mentioned by the original researcher
(e.g. angle of head, time of day, etc. ).
He also made 2 other points,
1) he had never heard of the scientist mentioned in the article
even though he was a "leading expert in the UK"
2) the type beard he mentioned ( a handlebar beard I think ) was
not the worst offender.
Out now to drink some Smithwicks for me
Con
Frankly I dont know why anyone would drink Budweiser anyway, the piss in a bottle is good for nothing but a good throbbing headache. And Im an American.
:::shudders:::
Remember that Bud is not typical of American beers, mass produced American beer maybe, but there are a lot of good micros out there. If you are ever in Pennsylvania, try Yeungling, a nice smooth lager that has always put a smile on my face. Brooklyn Brewing's Brown ale is a good sip too. Dont malign us Americans because you may not be able to get the good micros which often arent even exported out of their home state, like Yeungling. Shiner Bock here in Texas is a fair drink as well.
And for the most part Ive always been able to get Guinness on tap. But Im a bar snob that wont drink at an establishment that has Budweiser or Old Milwaukee on tap.
Belgians brew the most varieties, Czechs drink the most per capita.
Matt
It seemed pretty clear that he was "advertising".
(*ahem*..hopefully don't need to say anything else)
Don't know about the rest of ya, but my goatee is long an' luxuriant- largely due to the conditioning power of a good stout. I get the best results with the "russian imperial" variety of stout - it has the alcohol content of hard booze, and you can stick a fork up in it.
Side benefits include:
Being more attractive to potential drunken bedmates (oooh, your beard smells wonderful; would you buy me a beer?).
Finding new friends through scent marking (Oy, you there! Dunno why, but you seem like a man's man! Come over 'ere and 'ave a stout wid us!).
Fun gambling games (Bet ya I can pour this beer on my face and not spill more than a 1/4 cup! *splorsh* Well, I'm a good sport- just buy us another pitcher, ok?).
Survival during natural catastrophies (Dude, we're out of cereal...hey, man, why are you sucking on your goatee?).
'Hail Eris, baby, hail Eris...pfffffffttt.' *cough* 'Yeah.'
You mean 'Hefeweizen'? Yeah, Weißbier rules 8)
Wow, no wonder they let those Cops off. Here you are on Slashdot typing away, happy as a clam.
Glad that's over with.
Later
Erik Z
Democrats or Republicans. They are both taking us to the same place and they are not afraid of us anymore.
That's because you're a poof like George Micheal, who would never be caught drinking Guinness.
How come, that I must think of Monthy Pyton right now: "Your american beer is like making love in a canoe -- fucking close to water"
Nils
Of course if you want a really shiny beard, put a raw egg in your Guinness. It works when I put one in my dog's food...
..but my wife hated it.
I'll sum it up:
Beer beer beer..
Beer beer beer..
There.
Congratulations, you have achieved happiness.
If Gods were to create the perfect liquid for consumption, it's name would be Guinness. Now, the question does of course beg to be asked, why are you tasting socks?
Ceci n'est pas une sig.
And no, I wasn't a pre-teen alcoholic. I had the occasional CDN Beer (1 or 2, every other weekend) under my dad's supervision
Wow, a drinking legend in your own mind. Might I suggest that your examples are rather anecdotal, and that your powers of discernment are impared by alcohol, no matter how well you think you can "hold your liquor"?
Point of fact, some US States do limit the alcoholic content of beer, so one has to keep in mind what part of the USA one is talking about.
Currently, I can usually drink 6 CDN bottles of beer before getting a buzz going, and that number almost doubles when I'm south of the border. (US beer is fizzier too) Also, as a bartender, I've seen American tourists get obliterated unbelievably quickly on our local swill.
More meaningless anecdotes. What kinds of American beer? We have a thriving microbrew industry, every bit as large, if not larger, per capita, than what Canada has. My own experience is that Canadians are no more discerning about their beer than Americans; they may be bigger drunks than Americans, but that is nothing to brag about.
And besides, if its based on weight, would that meen that beer gets stronger or weaker as you move up a mountain?
A drunkard and clueless. Try reading the earlier posts. While you are at it, try learning a bit more about beer rather than boasting about your pathetic drinking abilities. Real beer enthusiasts don't concentrate on drinking more beer, they concentrate on drinking better beer.
What's Monty Python got to do with it? That joke's been going around for years, but not about "american" beer - the line is Coors is like making love in a canoe because it is "fucking close to water".
Coors Lite - now there is a redundant name.
**| "Oh, drat!" |** dratmaster@
**| "Oh, drat!" |** dratmaster@
**|- Dratmaster|** spam.hotmail.com
Are you sure about Canada producing the most beers?
Yes, Canada brews more TOTAL varieties of beer, BUT -- Belgians brew the most beers per capita, which is even better.
There are a great many different Guinness's brewed at the main brewery. Iirc, the irish version is actually lighter and lower in alcohal than most of the rest due to the way taxes work there. There are at least two distinct varieties in the US--the bottled and canned just plain aren't the same beer, even before bottling/canning. I don't know if the tap & canned are the same; they seem reasonably close.
.)
ANd then [no, I'm not making this up] there's the Miranda Guinness, the supertanker that delivers the stuff around the world. There's details in the promotional literature from the brewery tours that my sister brought back for me.
Yes, I'll repeat that: Guinness has a supertanker to deliver their beer, and a fleet of smaller ships to shuttle it in.
So far, I've been unable to book a cruise on it.
Hmm, while I'm at it, they watered down the bottled version in '93 or so; it went from very good to so-so (the Miller Reserve stout was actually better than what they sold here in bottles after the change, believe it or not . .
hawk
My oatmeal stout has (more than) a full bowl of oatmeal in every glass. It's not just for breakfast any more.
Thick enough that you might use a fork, but you use a spoon to get every drop . . .
and 15 gallons to be brewed next weekend . . .
There has been so many Guinness stories on /. recently, how long before we get a Guinness Icon??
More to the point, how many readers actually read the article and noticed that the survey was specifically not conducted in Northern Ireland? (It was conducted in other parts of the UK).
My mother used to have an expression she'd use when, for example, someone blew their horn at her (unnecessarily, in her opinion)... "what do you want, egg in your beer?"
:-)
Sorry, no relavence (or spell checking), it just came to mind
%DCL-E-OPENIN, error openingDISK$3:[Sjev]LIFE;
-RMS-E-LNF, life not found
Oh yeah, and Guinness. I like alternating between the two. Bourbon, stout, bourbon, stout.. repeat until unconscious. I guess some of us just have stronger stomachs than others. Just keep away from those god-awful sweet mixed drinks and you'll be fine.
Leapfrog
Several posters have commented on the watery stuff that passes for beer among much of the American populace.
The following link explains how American beer got so wimpy - it was the feminists, who deviously eliminated real man's beer:
http://www.credenda.org/issues/vol1 1/reci11-2.htm
"The future's good and the present is nothing to sneeze at." - Roblimo's last
What I'd like to know is, how are these full-bearded people DRINKING their beer such that they lose twice as much as a simple mustachio'ed drinker....