It doesn't affect you in anyway, but that won't stop Jamie from babbling on like a loonie about MS' evil scheme to destroy the world. Or how Bill Gates keeps taking all the Diet Mt.Dew out of his fridge, or how Steve Balmer uses his mind control beam to make women avoid Jamie, or how his neighbors cat is conspiring to steal his pubes in the middle of the night. Jamie's tin-foil hat just slipped a bit and a his is freaking out about it.
Looked like a boot screen from some kids Xbox. I guess you see what you want to see. In your case you wanted to see 'men performing homosexual acts on each other', fag.
c'mon like there is a bed that could hold that action. Two fat chicks at 300# each plus the average linux user at 600# is about 1200#. Not only would the bed colapse, but it would cause structural damage.
Even Yucca's protective walls couldn't contain Katz ignorance. It would seep out an contaminate most of the Western States. You would start to have kids born with Katz Syndrome. Where they aimlessly wander about mumbling random and sometimes made up tech buzzwords while scratching their genitals. They are also prone to jerking off in to the mayo jars at the local market. They often die due to staring upwards, slack jawed, at rain storms until they drown.
I wonder if you took two servers running slash and put them in seperate rooms and put the Slashdot
janitors in one and put a dozen or so brain-dead lab apes in the other. Could you tell the
difference between the two versions of slashdot? Now, you would have to give the apes a truckload
of $5 crack and let them sodimize each other for several weeks on end, so both groups start out on
even ground. But, would you be able no note the difference? I think so. I think that the apes could
figure out how to use a spell checker and have a basic grasp of sentance structure. Two things,
that in all these years, Taco and his goons have yet to figure out. The quality of articles
selected would be the same. An ape would be slapping the keyboard with his schlong and would
be psudo-randomly adding articles to the front page. It should come as no supprise to you that
this is the exact method used my most of the slashdot staff. The apes would also not add their
lame/snide comments to everything. Another difference would be how long the Katz-ape would
survive within the group. The Katz-ape would generate posts by humping the keyboard and
submitting the resulting random garbage, but the other apes would realise that
the Katz-ape was worthless and was better used as food and would quickly tear it limb from limb.
Jon Katz on the other hand generates his posts by humping a little boy. Comments? Discuss below:
I wonder if you took two servers running slash and put them in seperate rooms and put the Slashdot janitors in one and put a dozen or so brain-dead lab apes in the other. Could you tell the difference between the two versions of slashdot? Now, you would have to give the apes a truckload of $5 crack and let them sodimize each other for several weeks on end, so both groups start out on even ground. But, would you be able no note the difference? I think so. I think that the apes could figure out how to use a spell checker and have a basic grasp of sentance structure. Two things, that in all these years, Taco and his goons have yet to figure out. The quality of articles selected would be the same. An ape would be slapping the keyboard with his schlong and would be psudo-randomly adding articles to the front page. It should come as no supprise to you that this is the exact method used my most of the slashdot staff. Another difference would be how long the Katz-ape would survive within the group. The Katz-ape would generate posts by humping the keyboard and submitting the resulting random garbage, but the other apes would realise that the Katz-ape was worthless and was better used as food. Jon Katz on the other hand generates his posts by humping a little boy. Comments? Discuss below:
I had an odd experience this morning. I went to take my Good Morning Shit and it produced a turd much
like yesterdays. It was hard to get out and was very small. It was exactly like yesterdays. So, I went
back to my desk to start another ignorance filled day. I wasn't at my desk for more than five minutes
when I felt like I had to shit again. Bad. I got to the bathroom ASAP. I shat again and it was semi-solid.
It was almost explosive in force. It was a generic brown and stunk like low tide at the shore. I wiped as
quickly as possible and got out of there. It is 30 minutes later and it still stinks in there. Some cow-orker
just commented on it. He says it smells like a burning tire dunp in there. It also smells in the
hallway and in the breakroom. I rate this turd as a 8.
The drone war == Katz talking to himself
on
The Drone War
·
· Score: -1
I am on a new treatment for my disorder. It is fish oil. Stinky fish oil. I had shrimp and rice
last night. I had carrots and asparagus with it. My turd this morning was very hard. It almost hurt
pushing it out. It was very dark. It reaked of fish, more specificly: cod. Even when I was at the
sink, the cod smell still permiated the bathroom. The turd was small and dense. Clean up was normal.
I rate th is turd as a 5.
At a time when scatalogical humor is the soup of the day, who can take bowel movements seriously?
C. Bernie Hunt, that's who. In 39 Defecation Mistakes , Hunt's inaugural treatise on toilet
tactics, we learn 39 ways NOT to win the battle with the bowl. In Hunt's own words, "shitting
is not as easy as it looks. The average American experiences seven defecation disasters a year.
It's something we don't discuss and usually don't even want to think about. That's why it recurs
time and time again." Mistake number one about making number two is "not learning from past mistakes."
Hunt notes that in all other aspects of life, we know that the best lessons come from analyzing our
errors. So, why do we not apply that same wisdom to our most disastrous dumps? "...because we never
blame ourselves. We're all, 'oh, it must have been the tuna salad,' or 'it's flu season.' It is
imperative that every man in this country starts taking responsibility for his own ass."
The strength of Hunt's analysis lies in his multi-disciplinary approach. Mixing ideas rich in
psychology, history, sociology and physiology - enough to make a gastroenterologist's head
spin - with the economic implications of frequent fecal fiascos, Hunt convincingly argues
that anal ignorance is destroying mankind. Mistakes range in complexity and severity.
"Evacuation is a perplexing process involving many extremely subtle factors. Like the
butterfly who flaps his wings in Brazil, which causes a hurricane in England, some of
the most innocuous moves we make can have BIG repercussions." For example, mistake number
8: over-wiping, promotes hemorrhoids. Mistake number 12: delaying until the very last second,
has resulted in many sullied drawers and broken relationships.
"Defecation is a chess game. It's us versus the enemy within. Sometimes the beast is docile, and
will comply with your wishes - but he does so only to lull you into complacency. Never let your
guard down. [mistake number 4: letting your guard down]"
The only criticism I have of 39 Defecation Mistakes is that maybe it could have been shortened to
about 35 mistakes. The last few errors, although Hunt insists they are vital to the colonic canon,
seem a bit stilted. This is supposed to be an every-man book with problems we can all relate to.
So then, what are we to make of passages like the following, taken from mistake 36: Shit as weapon?
"At first glance it might seem like a good idea to take a dump on the Thanksgiving dinner table,
but you'll be thinking differently when your mom's asshole boyfriend makes you eat it."
At a time when scatalogical humor is the soup of the day, who can take bowel movements seriously?
C. Bernie Hunt, that's who. In 39 Defecation Mistakes , Hunt's inaugural treatise on toilet
tactics, we learn 39 ways NOT to win the battle with the bowl. In Hunt's own words, "shitting
is not as easy as it looks. The average American experiences seven defecation disasters a year.
It's something we don't discuss and usually don't even want to think about. That's why it recurs
time and time again." Mistake number one about making number two is "not learning from past mistakes."
Hunt notes that in all other aspects of life, we know that the best lessons come from analyzing our
errors. So, why do we not apply that same wisdom to our most disastrous dumps? "...because we never
blame ourselves. We're all, 'oh, it must have been the tuna salad,' or 'it's flu season.' It is
imperative that every man in this country starts taking responsibility for his own ass."
The strength of Hunt's analysis lies in his multi-disciplinary approach. Mixing ideas rich in
psychology, history, sociology and physiology - enough to make a gastroenterologist's head
spin - with the economic implications of frequent fecal fiascos, Hunt convincingly argues
that anal ignorance is destroying mankind. Mistakes range in complexity and severity.
"Evacuation is a perplexing process involving many extremely subtle factors. Like the
butterfly who flaps his wings in Brazil, which causes a hurricane in England, some of
the most innocuous moves we make can have BIG repercussions." For example, mistake number
8: over-wiping, promotes hemorrhoids. Mistake number 12: delaying until the very last second,
has resulted in many sullied drawers and broken relationships.
"Defecation is a chess game. It's us versus the enemy within. Sometimes the beast is docile, and
will comply with your wishes - but he does so only to lull you into complacency. Never let your
guard down. [mistake number 4: letting your guard down]"
The only criticism I have of 39 Defecation Mistakes is that maybe it could have been shortened to
about 35 mistakes. The last few errors, although Hunt insists they are vital to the colonic canon,
seem a bit stilted. This is supposed to be an every-man book with problems we can all relate to.
So then, what are we to make of passages like the following, taken from mistake 36: Shit as weapon?
"At first glance it might seem like a good idea to take a dump on the Thanksgiving dinner table,
but you'll be thinking differently when your mom's asshole boyfriend makes you eat it."
I have been sick as all hell this past week. I had shrimp creole yesterday in the
cafeteria, it was so-so. My turd this morning needed a long hard push to get it going.
It was a very small turd. The turd was about the size of two golfballs. There was no smell and clean up
was easy as can be. Not much else to say about it, so I rate it as a 5.
Some people have asked for a FAQ or a HOWTO on how I rate my turds and how they can rate their own.
I would appreciate it if you would give me some suggestions or hints as to what you, my fans,
would like to see. Thanks!
Slashdot Mirror
It doesn't affect you in anyway, but that won't stop Jamie from babbling on like a loonie about MS' evil scheme to destroy the world. Or how Bill Gates keeps taking all the Diet Mt.Dew out of his fridge, or how Steve Balmer uses his mind control beam to make women avoid Jamie, or how his neighbors cat is conspiring to steal his pubes in the middle of the night. Jamie's tin-foil hat just slipped a bit and a his is freaking out about it.
Looks like Jamie is having a complete meltdown in the little paranoid rant tacked on at the end of the article. What a goon.
paranoid fucktard. Shut the fuck up!
Looked like a boot screen from some kids Xbox. I guess you see what you want to see. In your case you wanted to see 'men performing homosexual acts on each other', fag.
Ha! Ha! Jamie has been smoking the crack laced with PCP again! Haha!
No shit. "OMG! M$ is going to make everything! Linux will be illegal!!! Blah, blah, blah..." What a fucking nut job.
C'mon, just admit it. You were looking at gay porno. It is Ok, really. Fag.
no.
c'mon like there is a bed that could hold that action. Two fat chicks at 300# each plus the average linux user at 600# is about 1200#. Not only would the bed colapse, but it would cause structural damage.
Even Yucca's protective walls couldn't contain Katz ignorance. It would seep out an contaminate most of the Western States. You would start to have kids born with Katz Syndrome. Where they aimlessly wander about mumbling random and sometimes made up tech buzzwords while scratching their genitals. They are also prone to jerking off in to the mayo jars at the local market. They often die due to staring upwards, slack jawed, at rain storms until they drown.
Christ should be capitalized null-wit. You also left the '?' off at the end of your last sentance. BTW, eat me.
I wonder if you took two servers running slash and put them in seperate rooms and put the Slashdot janitors in one and put a dozen or so brain-dead lab apes in the other. Could you tell the difference between the two versions of slashdot? Now, you would have to give the apes a truckload of $5 crack and let them sodimize each other for several weeks on end, so both groups start out on even ground. But, would you be able no note the difference? I think so. I think that the apes could figure out how to use a spell checker and have a basic grasp of sentance structure. Two things, that in all these years, Taco and his goons have yet to figure out. The quality of articles selected would be the same. An ape would be slapping the keyboard with his schlong and would be psudo-randomly adding articles to the front page. It should come as no supprise to you that this is the exact method used my most of the slashdot staff. The apes would also not add their lame/snide comments to everything. Another difference would be how long the Katz-ape would survive within the group. The Katz-ape would generate posts by humping the keyboard and submitting the resulting random garbage, but the other apes would realise that the Katz-ape was worthless and was better used as food and would quickly tear it limb from limb. Jon Katz on the other hand generates his posts by humping a little boy. Comments? Discuss below:
You have to reboot NT every week? You must be one piss poor bunch of admins.
Plus, this is non-fiction.
Fuckin' A, awesome!
You have to be the most hated poster on Slashdot (Well, besides Katz) Keep up the good work! :)
I had an odd experience this morning. I went to take my Good Morning Shit and it produced a turd much like yesterdays. It was hard to get out and was very small. It was exactly like yesterdays. So, I went back to my desk to start another ignorance filled day. I wasn't at my desk for more than five minutes when I felt like I had to shit again. Bad. I got to the bathroom ASAP. I shat again and it was semi-solid. It was almost explosive in force. It was a generic brown and stunk like low tide at the shore. I wiped as quickly as possible and got out of there. It is 30 minutes later and it still stinks in there. Some cow-orker just commented on it. He says it smells like a burning tire dunp in there. It also smells in the hallway and in the breakroom. I rate this turd as a 8.
He just keeps droning on and on and on and on...
I am on a new treatment for my disorder. It is fish oil. Stinky fish oil. I had shrimp and rice last night. I had carrots and asparagus with it. My turd this morning was very hard. It almost hurt pushing it out. It was very dark. It reaked of fish, more specificly: cod. Even when I was at the sink, the cod smell still permiated the bathroom. The turd was small and dense. Clean up was normal. I rate th is turd as a 5.
Where is the -tag, you twat? They don't call him Timmah! for nothing. :)
At a time when scatalogical humor is the soup of the day, who can take bowel movements seriously? C. Bernie Hunt, that's who. In 39 Defecation Mistakes , Hunt's inaugural treatise on toilet tactics, we learn 39 ways NOT to win the battle with the bowl. In Hunt's own words, "shitting is not as easy as it looks. The average American experiences seven defecation disasters a year. It's something we don't discuss and usually don't even want to think about. That's why it recurs time and time again." Mistake number one about making number two is "not learning from past mistakes." Hunt notes that in all other aspects of life, we know that the best lessons come from analyzing our errors. So, why do we not apply that same wisdom to our most disastrous dumps? "...because we never blame ourselves. We're all, 'oh, it must have been the tuna salad,' or 'it's flu season.' It is imperative that every man in this country starts taking responsibility for his own ass." The strength of Hunt's analysis lies in his multi-disciplinary approach. Mixing ideas rich in psychology, history, sociology and physiology - enough to make a gastroenterologist's head spin - with the economic implications of frequent fecal fiascos, Hunt convincingly argues that anal ignorance is destroying mankind. Mistakes range in complexity and severity. "Evacuation is a perplexing process involving many extremely subtle factors. Like the butterfly who flaps his wings in Brazil, which causes a hurricane in England, some of the most innocuous moves we make can have BIG repercussions." For example, mistake number 8: over-wiping, promotes hemorrhoids. Mistake number 12: delaying until the very last second, has resulted in many sullied drawers and broken relationships. "Defecation is a chess game. It's us versus the enemy within. Sometimes the beast is docile, and will comply with your wishes - but he does so only to lull you into complacency. Never let your guard down. [mistake number 4: letting your guard down]" The only criticism I have of 39 Defecation Mistakes is that maybe it could have been shortened to about 35 mistakes. The last few errors, although Hunt insists they are vital to the colonic canon, seem a bit stilted. This is supposed to be an every-man book with problems we can all relate to. So then, what are we to make of passages like the following, taken from mistake 36: Shit as weapon? "At first glance it might seem like a good idea to take a dump on the Thanksgiving dinner table, but you'll be thinking differently when your mom's asshole boyfriend makes you eat it."
At a time when scatalogical humor is the soup of the day, who can take bowel movements seriously?
C. Bernie Hunt, that's who. In 39 Defecation Mistakes , Hunt's inaugural treatise on toilet
tactics, we learn 39 ways NOT to win the battle with the bowl. In Hunt's own words, "shitting
is not as easy as it looks. The average American experiences seven defecation disasters a year.
It's something we don't discuss and usually don't even want to think about. That's why it recurs
time and time again." Mistake number one about making number two is "not learning from past mistakes."
Hunt notes that in all other aspects of life, we know that the best lessons come from analyzing our
errors. So, why do we not apply that same wisdom to our most disastrous dumps? "...because we never
blame ourselves. We're all, 'oh, it must have been the tuna salad,' or 'it's flu season.' It is
imperative that every man in this country starts taking responsibility for his own ass."
The strength of Hunt's analysis lies in his multi-disciplinary approach. Mixing ideas rich in
psychology, history, sociology and physiology - enough to make a gastroenterologist's head
spin - with the economic implications of frequent fecal fiascos, Hunt convincingly argues
that anal ignorance is destroying mankind. Mistakes range in complexity and severity.
"Evacuation is a perplexing process involving many extremely subtle factors. Like the
butterfly who flaps his wings in Brazil, which causes a hurricane in England, some of
the most innocuous moves we make can have BIG repercussions." For example, mistake number
8: over-wiping, promotes hemorrhoids. Mistake number 12: delaying until the very last second,
has resulted in many sullied drawers and broken relationships.
"Defecation is a chess game. It's us versus the enemy within. Sometimes the beast is docile, and
will comply with your wishes - but he does so only to lull you into complacency. Never let your
guard down. [mistake number 4: letting your guard down]"
The only criticism I have of 39 Defecation Mistakes is that maybe it could have been shortened to
about 35 mistakes. The last few errors, although Hunt insists they are vital to the colonic canon,
seem a bit stilted. This is supposed to be an every-man book with problems we can all relate to.
So then, what are we to make of passages like the following, taken from mistake 36: Shit as weapon?
"At first glance it might seem like a good idea to take a dump on the Thanksgiving dinner table,
but you'll be thinking differently when your mom's asshole boyfriend makes you eat it."
Some people have asked for a FAQ or a HOWTO on how I rate my turds and how they can rate their own. I would appreciate it if you would give me some suggestions or hints as to what you, my fans, would like to see. Thanks!
(+5, Informative)!