"So what have you learned from your career as a Videogame Musician?" "Well, basically, if I want to eat, I have to work for money. This usually requires making music for a commercial game because I have better things to do than make music for 'Tux Racer'."
Mac Bigot visits http://www.apple.com/switch
on
Meteorite Hits Girl
·
· Score: -1
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0 888 | | 888 o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
O o |______| O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
0 0 | 8=D | O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
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___/______/ \_______\___ O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
| | | | O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
|_____/\__| |__/\______|
Danny Tanner woke up abruptly with a massive hangover, vomited into his bedside sick-bucket and wiped his mouth with the bedsheets. "FUCKING SHIT," he exclaimed after pressing his lips to an empty plastic 1.75L bottle of Jenkins 90 Proof Vodka, "Out again already, goddamnit!", chucking the empty plastic jug to the floor. Danny Tanner staggered his way down the hall banging on his children's doors as he passed, yelling "Get your asses out of bed! We need to take a little trip to the store for daddy because none of you little bastards is old enough to buy alcohol! I expect that you'll all have your collars on by the time I'm done taking a shit! Make sure you fasten Michelle's tighter this time!" The Live Studio Audience whoops in approval. Danny slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly afterwards, distinguishable gas farts and watery diarrhea noises are heard from the surrounding rooms, accompanied by grunts, moans and further vomiting.
D.J. was aware of the consequences of not using Danny's allotted time window, so promptly put on her dog collar with the spikes pointing toward the neck, as this is the only way Danny would accept them to be worn (with fear of beating mind you.) It was always the opinion of D.J. that mild stabbing pains around the neck were preferable to a savage beating in addition to the stabbing pains later. Being the eldest forced her into the position of being "responsible" for the younger siblings and thusly would endure the majority of all beatings. Steph knew this and purposefully made D.J. chase her around the living room yelling "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Upon the third lap, D.J. heard a loud THUD. Michelle, previously perched on the back of the sofa, had fallen face first onto the floor. Although simply shocked by the fall, the small mongoloid only began crying as she noticed the warm blood on her finger after some nosepicking. Live Studio Audience sniggers. Steph finally decided to stop being a little shit and submitted. D.J. put on Steph and Michelle's collars and proceeded to attach the leashes.
After gaining some composure, Danny burst out of the bathroom and headed for Joey's bedroom. Before knocking on the door, he noticed grunting coming out of the room. "Don't try to insert an un-lubed summer sausage of that size into me, Joey! It'll rip!" Jesse's toned-down voice could be heard through Joey's door. Danny yelled "Uhm, I'm going out to get some booze, you guys want any?" Footsteps shuffled and magazine pages were thumbed through for several seconds before Joey replied, "No, we're cool. Jesse's just....helping me...clean... up. See you later." Danny made his way back downstairs while listening to more shuffling and manly giggling.
"Well well," he condescendingly remarked "so you finally learned." Danny took the three leashes and lightly yanked them along towards The Van. "Get yer asses in." Danny opened the The Van's rear door, exposing the three lettuce crates of which he had created makeshift child seats, tethered with nylon rope. "Seatbelts please. Thank you!" The girls hadn't yet fastened their "safety belts," but would need to, with Danny's erratic driving skills.
Danny Tanner peeled out of the driveway, nearly hitting D.J.'s young friend Kimberly Gibbler. The Live Studio Audience cheers with laughter as Kimmy is caught off guard and crashes her banana-seat bicycle into the Tanner mailbox. Laugh Track plays as Danny observes the incident through his rear-view mirror and remarks, "I'll deal with that shit when we get home." Danny darted down the interstate, passing cars in both the fast and slow lanes, taking the second exit. Danny disregards the offramp stop sign and tears-ass into the Safeway parking lot's primo handicapped parking space. Danny hops out of The Van, opens the rear doors, take his daughters' leashes and marches them into the supermarket's seafood section. Danny lifts Michelle into a freezer "playpen" bin and instructs his two older daughters to "Keep an eye on this one, or else." Danny left the store in a rush, exiting to the right toward Jake's Liquor Store.
Steph opens a plastic container of imitation crab meat and dumps the liquid-solid mixture onto her younger sister's head. Michelle shivers as she grips the frost-laden freezer bin's outer edges, trying to hoist herself up a bit to see what was happening in the store.
A young boy of Steph's age had escaped his mother's kiddie harness and peeked over the opposite side of the bin, where Michelle and her sisters couldn't see him. Knowing that the young child was mentally crippled, he, like the Live Studio Audience found it humorous that tugging on the toddler's jumpsuit pajamas caused her to fall over. Michelle restored herself to the former standing position on side of the freezer, but was tugged down a second time with greater force and began crying. The young boy ran away chuckling. Steph heard this and yelled "Hey I know you! You're Bobby Sherman! Wait up!" Steph darted off as onlookers watched the four-child spectacle happen around the freezer bin. D.J. yelled "Hey! Get back here!" and chased after the middle child, Live Studio Audience laughing. The shoppers quickly lost interest and didn't notice that Michelle had managed to climb out of the freezer bin. Michelle squandered her newly-gained freedom for several minutes picking up dust-bunnies from under the massive refrigerator with her cold numb hands and tasting them.
Danny soon returned from the liquor store, three shopping bags in hand. "Oh what the FUCK!" he roared as he saw the Michelle alone, sitting beside the receptacle. He heaved his daughter back into the frosty cell and went on a hunting trip for his other children. Not half a minute had elapsed before he heard the pitter-patter of two sets of feet. He spotted D.J. chasing her sister down the T.V. dinner aisle and quickly caught up, kicking D.J. square in the back as she grasped Steph's leash. Both girls fell to the floor hard as D.J. impacted with Steph. "You'll suffer the penalties when we get home, but you need to retrieve your sister RIGHT FUCKING NOW and get in The Van before I beat you right here!" The two girls make their way back to the freezer and struggle to get the little tard out and are finally hauled off by their leashes toward The Van.
After crumbling and chucking the handicapped parking ticket that was under his windshield wiper, Danny drove home at a slower speed, obeying all traffic laws for the most part. He was very angry and was deciding on the punishment for his two oldest daughters. The show's scene-switching saxophone music plays as it fades into the Tanner residence backyard, where Danny is supporting the lid of a metal box. "Your punishment, eighteen hours in the hot box! Your whore of a mother would be ashamed if she were still alive." he grinned maniacally as he shoved the girls into the homemade black spray-painted hotbox in the noon sun.
Danny, being a reasonable father, went inside with Michelle on his left shoulder. He offloaded his youngest into her crib, and returned with a bottle containing an equal measure combination of Gordon's Gin and whole milk. The Live Studio Audience "Awwwws" as the child dozes off from the alcohol she consumes, and the scene fades into credits.
Danny Tanner woke up abruptly with a massive hangover, vomited into his bedside sick-bucket and wiped his mouth with the bedsheets. "FUCKING SHIT," he exclaimed after pressing his lips to an empty plastic 1.75L bottle of Jenkins 90 Proof Vodka, "Out again already, goddamnit!", chucking the empty plastic jug to the floor. Danny Tanner staggered his way down the hall banging on his children's doors as he passed, yelling "Get your asses out of bed! We need to take a little trip to the store for daddy because none of you little bastards is old enough to buy alcohol! I expect that you'll all have your collars on by the time I'm done taking a shit! Make sure you fasten Michelle's tighter this time!" The Live Studio Audience whoops in approval. Danny slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly afterwards, distinguishable gas farts and watery diarrhea noises are heard from the surrounding rooms, accompanied by grunts, moans and further vomiting.
D.J. was aware of the consequences of not using Danny's allotted time window, so promptly put on her dog collar with the spikes pointing toward the neck, as this is the only way Danny would accept them to be worn (with fear of beating mind you.) It was always the opinion of D.J. that mild stabbing pains around the neck were preferable to a savage beating in addition to the stabbing pains later. Being the eldest forced her into the position of being "responsible" for the younger siblings and thusly would endure the majority of all beatings. Steph knew this and purposefully made D.J. chase her around the living room yelling "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Upon the third lap, D.J. heard a loud THUD. Michelle, previously perched on the back of the sofa, had fallen face first onto the floor. Although simply shocked by the fall, the small mongoloid only began crying as she noticed the warm blood on her finger after some nosepicking. Live Studio Audience sniggers. Steph finally decided to stop being a little shit and submitted. D.J. put on Steph and Michelle's collars and proceeded to attach the leashes.
After gaining some composure, Danny burst out of the bathroom and headed for Joey's bedroom. Before knocking on the door, he noticed grunting coming out of the room. "Don't try to insert an un-lubed summer sausage of that size into me, Joey! It'll rip!" Jesse's toned-down voice could be heard through Joey's door. Danny yelled "Uhm, I'm going out to get some booze, you guys want any?" Footsteps shuffled and magazine pages were thumbed through for several seconds before Joey replied, "No, we're cool. Jesse's just....helping me...clean... up. See you later." Danny made his way back downstairs while listening to more shuffling and manly giggling.
"Well well," he condescendingly remarked "so you finally learned." Danny took the three leashes and lightly yanked them along towards The Van. "Get yer asses in." Danny opened the The Van's rear door, exposing the three lettuce crates of which he had created makeshift child seats, tethered with nylon rope. "Seatbelts please. Thank you!" The girls hadn't yet fastened their "safety belts," but would need to, with Danny's erratic driving skills.
Danny Tanner peeled out of the driveway, nearly hitting D.J.'s young friend Kimberly Gibbler. The Live Studio Audience cheers with laughter as Kimmy is caught off guard and crashes her banana-seat bicycle into the Tanner mailbox. Laugh Track plays as Danny observes the incident through his rear-view mirror and remarks, "I'll deal with that shit when we get home." Danny darted down the interstate, passing cars in both the fast and slow lanes, taking the second exit. Danny disregards the offramp stop sign and tears-ass into the Safeway parking lot's primo handicapped parking space. Danny hops out of The Van, opens the rear doors, take his daughters' leashes and marches them into the supermarket's seafood section. Danny lifts Michelle into a freezer "playpen" bin and instructs his two older daughters to "Keep an eye on this one, or else." Danny left the store in a rush, exiting to the right toward Jake's Liquor Store.
Steph opens a plastic container of imitation crab meat and dumps the liquid-solid mixture onto her younger sister's head. Michelle shivers as she grips the frost-laden freezer bin's outer edges, trying to hoist herself up a bit to see what was happening in the store.
A young boy of Steph's age had escaped his mother's kiddie harness and peeked over the opposite side of the bin, where Michelle and her sisters couldn't see him. Knowing that the young child was mentally crippled, he, like the Live Studio Audience found it humorous that tugging on the toddler's jumpsuit pajamas caused her to fall over. Michelle restored herself to the former standing position on side of the freezer, but was tugged down a second time with greater force and began crying. The young boy ran away chuckling. Steph heard this and yelled "Hey I know you! You're Bobby Sherman! Wait up!" Steph darted off as onlookers watched the four-child spectacle happen around the freezer bin. D.J. yelled "Hey! Get back here!" and chased after the middle child, Live Studio Audience laughing. The shoppers quickly lost interest and didn't notice that Michelle had managed to climb out of the freezer bin. Michelle squandered her newly-gained freedom for several minutes picking up dust-bunnies from under the massive refrigerator with her cold numb hands and tasting them.
Danny soon returned from the liquor store, three shopping bags in hand. "Oh what the FUCK!" he roared as he saw the Michelle alone, sitting beside the receptacle. He heaved his daughter back into the frosty cell and went on a hunting trip for his other children. Not half a minute had elapsed before he heard the pitter-patter of two sets of feet. He spotted D.J. chasing her sister down the T.V. dinner aisle and quickly caught up, kicking D.J. square in the back as she grasped Steph's leash. Both girls fell to the floor hard as D.J. impacted with Steph. "You'll suffer the penalties when we get home, but you need to retrieve your sister RIGHT FUCKING NOW and get in The Van before I beat you right here!" The two girls make their way back to the freezer and struggle to get the little tard out and are finally hauled off by their leashes toward The Van.
After crumbling and chucking the handicapped parking ticket that was under his windshield wiper, Danny drove home at a slower speed, obeying all traffic laws for the most part. He was very angry and was deciding on the punishment for his two oldest daughters. The show's scene-switching saxophone music plays as it fades into the Tanner residence backyard, where Danny is supporting the lid of a metal box. "Your punishment, eighteen hours in the hot box! Your whore of a mother would be ashamed if she were still alive." he grinned maniacally as he shoved the girls into the homemade black spray-painted hotbox in the noon sun.
Danny, being a reasonable father, went inside with Michelle on his left shoulder. He offloaded his youngest into her crib, and returned with a bottle containing an equal measure combination of Gordon's Gin and whole milk. The Live Studio Audience "Awwwws" as the child dozes off from the alcohol she consumes, and the scene fades into credits.
Danny Tanner woke up abruptly with a massive hangover, vomited into his bedside sick-bucket and wiped his mouth with the bedsheets. "FUCKING SHIT," he exclaimed after pressing his lips to an empty plastic 1.75L bottle of Jenkins 90 Proof Vodka, "Out again already, goddamnit!", chucking the empty plastic jug to the floor. Danny Tanner staggered his way down the hall banging on his children's doors as he passed, yelling "Get your asses out of bed! We need to take a little trip to the store for daddy because none of you little bastards is old enough to buy alcohol! I expect that you'll all have your collars on by the time I'm done taking a shit! Make sure you fasten Michelle's tighter this time!" The studio audience whoops in approval. Danny slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly afterwards, distinguishable gas farts and watery diarrhea noises are heard from the surrounding rooms, accompanied by grunts, moans and further vomiting.
D.J. was aware of the consequences of not using Danny's allotted time window, so promptly put on her dog collar with the spikes pointing toward the neck, as this is the only way Danny would accept them to be worn (with fear of beating mind you.) It was always the opinion of D.J. that mild stabbing pains around the neck were preferable to a savage beating in addition to the stabbing pains later. Being the eldest forced her into the position of being "responsible" for the younger siblings and thusly would endure the majority of all beatings. Steph was aware of this fact and purposefully made D.J. chase her around the living room yelling "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Upon the third lap, D.J. heard a loud THUD. Michelle, perched on the back of the sofa, had fallen face first onto the floor. Although simply shocked by the fall, the small mongoloid only began crying as she noticed the warm blood on her finger after some nosepicking. Audience sniggers. Steph finally decided to stop being a little shit and submitted. D.J. put on Steph and Michelle's collars and proceeded to attach the leashes.
After gaining some composure, Danny burst out of the bathroom and headed for Joey's bedroom. Before knocking on the door, he noticed grunting coming out of the room. "Don't try to insert an un-lubed summer sausage of that size into me, Joey! It'll rip!" Jesse's toned-down voice could be heard through Joey's door. Danny yelled "Uhm, I'm going out to get some booze, you guys want any?" Footsteps shuffled and magazine pages were thumbed through for several seconds before Joey replied, "No, we're cool. Jesse's just....helping me...clean... up. See you later." Danny made his way back downstairs while listening to more shuffling and manly giggling.
"Well well," he condescendingly remarked "so you finally learned." Danny took the three leashes and lightly yanked them along towards The Van. "Get yer asses in." Danny opened the van's rear door, exposing the three lettuce crates of which he had created makeshift child out of seats with nylon rope tether. "Seatbelts please. Thank you!" The girls hadn't yet fastened their "safety belts" yet, but would need to, with Danny's erratic driving skills.
Danny Tanner peels out of the driveway, nearly hitting D.J.'s young friend Kimberly Gibbler. The audience cheers with laughter as Kimmy is caught off guard and crashes her banana-seat bicycle into the Tanner mailbox. Laugh track plays as Danny observes the incident through his rear-view mirror and remarks, "I'll deal with that shit when we get home." Danny darted down the interstate, passing cars in both the fast and slow lane, taking the second exit. Danny disregards the offramp stop sign and tears-ass into the Safeway parking lot's primo handicapped parking space. Danny hopped out of the van, opened the rear doors, took his daughters' leashes and marched them into the supermarket's seafood section. Danny lifts Michelle into a freezer "playpen" bin and instructed his two older daughters to "Keep an eye on this one, or else." Danny left the store in a rush, exiting to the right toward Jake's Liquor Store.
Steph opened a plastic container of imitation crab meat and dumped the liquid-solid mixture onto her younger sister's head. Michelle shiverered as she gripped the frost-laden freezer bin's outer edges, trying to hoist herself up a bit to see what was happening in the store.
A young boy of Steph's age had escaped his mother's kiddie harness and peeked over the opposite side of the bin, where Michelle and her sisters couldn't see him. Knowing that the young child was mentally crippled, he, like the Live Studio Audience found it humorous that tugging on the toddler's jumpsuit pajamas caused her to fall over. Michelle restored herself to the former standing position on side of the, but was tugged down a second time with greater force and began crying. The young boy ran away chuckling. Steph heard this and yelled "Hey I know you! You're Bobby Sherman! Wait up!" Steph darted off as onlookers watched the four-child spectacle happen around the freezer bin. D.J. yelled "Hey! Get back here!" and chased after the middle child, studio audience laughing. The shoppers' CNN-soaked minds quickly lost interest and didn't notice that Michelle had managed to climb out of the freezer bin. Michelle squandered her newly-gained freedom for several minutes picking up dust-bunnies from under the massive refrigerator with her cold numb hands and tasting them.
Danny soon returned from the liquor store, three shopping bags in hand. "Oh what the FUCK!" he roared as he saw the Michelle alone, sitting beside the receptacle. He heaved his daughter back into the frosty cell and went on a hunting trip for his other children. Not half a minute had elapsed before he heard the pitter-patter of two sets of feet. He spotted D.J. chasing her sister down the T.V. dinner aisle and quickly caught up, kicking D.J. square in the back as she grasped Steph's leash. Both girls fell to the floor hard as D.J. impacted with Steph. "You'll suffer the penalties when we get home, but you need to retrieve your sister RIGHT FUCKING NOW and get in the van before I beat you right here!" The two girls struggled to get the little tard out and were finally hauled off by their leashes toward the van moments later.
After crumbling and chucking the handicapped parking ticket that was under his windshield wiper, Danny drove home at a slower speed, obeying all traffic laws for the most part. He was very angry and was deciding on the punishment for his two oldest daughters. The show's scene-switching saxophone music plays as the scene fades into the Tanner residence backyard where Danny is supporting the lid of a metal box. "Your punishment, eighteen hours in the hot box! Your whore of a mother would be ashamed if she were still alive." he grinned maniacally as he shoved the girls into the homemade black spray painted hotbox in the noon sun.
Danny, being a reasonable father, went inside with Michelle on his left shoulder. He offloaded his youngest into her crib, and returned with a bottle containing an equal measure combination of Gordon's Gin and whole milk. The audience "Awwwws" as the child dozes off from the alcohol she consumed, and the scene fades into credits.
Danny Tanner woke up abruptly with a massive hangover, vomited into his bedside sick-bucket and wiped his mouth with the bedsheets. "FUCKING SHIT," he exclaimed after pressing his lips to an empty plastic 1.75L bottle of Jenkins 90 Proof Vodka, "Out again already, goddamnit!", chucking the empty plastic jug to the floor. Danny Tanner staggered his way down the hall banging on his children's doors as he passed, yelling "Get your asses out of bed! We need to take a little trip to the store for daddy because none of you little bastards is old enough to buy alcohol! I expect that you'll all have your collars on by the time I'm done taking a shit! Make sure you fasten Michelle's tighter this time!" The studio audience whoops in approval. Danny slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly afterwards, distinguishable gas farts and watery diarrhea noises are heard from the surrounding rooms, accompanied by grunts, moans and further vomiting.
D.J. was aware of the consequenses of not using Danny's alloted time window, so promptly put on her dog collar with the spikes pointing toward the neck, as this is the only way Danny would accept them to be worn (with fear of beating mind you.) It was always the opinion of D.J. that mild stabbing pains around the neck were preferable to a savage beating in addition to the stabbing pains later. Being the eldest forced her into the position of being "responsible" for the younger syblings and thusly would endure the majority of all beatings. Steph was aware of this fact and purposefully made D.J. chase her around the living room yelling "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Upon the third lap, D.J. heard a loud THUD. Michelle, perched on the back of the sofa, had fallen face first onto the floor. Although simply shocked by the fall, the small mongoloid only began crying as she noticed the warm blood on her finger after some nosepicking. Audience sniggers. Steph finally decided to stop being a little shit and submitted. D.J. put on Steph and Michelle's collars and proceeded to attach the leashes.
After gaining some composure, Danny burst out of the bathroom and headed for Joey's bedroom. Before knocking on the door, he noticed grunting coming out of the room. "Don't try to insert an un-lubed summer sausage of that size into me, Joey! It'll rip!" Jesse's toned-down voice could be heard through Joey's door. Danny yelled "Uhm, I'm going out to get some booze, you guys want any?" Footsteps shuffled and magazine pages were thumbed through for several seconds before Joey replied, "No, we're cool. Jesse's just....helping me...clean... up. See you later." Danny made his way back downstairs while listening to more shuffling and manly giggling.
"Well well," he condescendingly remarked "so you finally learned." Danny took the three leashes and lightly yanked them along towards The Van. "Get yer asses in." Danny opened the van's rear door, exposing the three lettuce crates of which he had created makeshift child out of seats with nylon rope teather. "Seatbelts please. Thank you!" The girls hadn't yet fastened their "safety belts" yet, but would need to, with Danny's erratic driving skills.
Danny Tanner peels out of the driveway, nearly hitting D.J.'s young friend Kimberly Gibbler. The audience cheers with laughter as Kimmy is caught off guard and crashes her banana-seat bicycle into the Tanner mailbox. Laugh track plays as Danny observes the incident through his rear-view mirror and remarks, "I'll deal with that shit when we get home." Danny darted down the interstate, passing cars in both the fast and slow lane, taking the second exit. Danny disregards the offramp stop sign and tears-ass into the Safeway parking lot's primo handicapped parking space. Danny hopped out of the van, opened the rear doors, took his daughters' leashes and marched them into the supermarket's seafood section. Danny lifts Michelle into a freezer "playpen" bin and instructed his two older daughters to "Keep an eye on this one, or else." Danny left the store in a rush, exiting to the right toward Jake's Liquor Store.
Steph opened a plastic container of imitation crab meat and dumped the liquid-solid mixture onto her younger sister's head. Michelle shivererd as she gripped the frost-laden freezer bin's outer edges, trying to hoist herself up a bit to see what was happening in the store.
A young boy of Steph's age had escaped his mother's kiddie harness and peeked over the opposite side of the bin, where Michelle and her sisters couldn't see him. Knowing that the young child was mentally crippled, he, like the Live Studio Audience found it humorous that tugging on the toddler's jumpsuit pajamas caused her to fall over. Michelle restored herself to the former standing position on side of the, but was tugged down a second time with greater force and began crying. The young boy ran away chuckling. Steph heard this and yelled "Hey I know you! You're Bobby Sherman! Wait up!" Steph darted off as onlookers watched the four-child spectacle happen around the freezer bin. D.J. yelled "Hey! Get back here!" and chased after the middle child, studio audience laughing. The shoppers' CNN-soaked minds quickly lost interest and didn't notice that Michelle had managed to climb out of the freezer bin. Michelle squandered her newly-gained freedom for several minutes picking up dust-bunnies from under the massive refrigerator with her cold numb hands and tasting them.
Danny soon returned from the liquor store, three shopping bags in hand. "Oh what the FUCK!" he roared as he saw the Michelle alone, sitting beside the receptacle. He heaved his daughter back into the frosty cell and went on a hunting trip for his other children. Not half a minute had elapsed before he heard the pitter-patter of two sets of feet. He spotted D.J. chasing her sister down the T.V. dinner aisle and quickly caught up, kicking D.J. square in the back as she grasped Steph's leash. Both girls fell to the floor hard as D.J. impacted with Steph. "You'll suffer the penalties when we get home, but you need to retrieve your sister RIGHT FUCKING NOW and get in the van before I beat you right here!" The two girls struggled to get the little tard out and were finally hauled off by their leashes toward the van moments later.
After crumbling and chucking the handicapped parking ticket that was under his winshield wiper, Danny drove home at a slower speed, obeying all traffic laws for the most part. He was very angry and was deciding on the punishment for his two oldest daughters. The show's scene-switching saxophone music plays as the scene fades into the Tanner residence backyard where Danny is supporting the lid of a metal box. "Your punishment, eighteen hours in the hot box! Your whore of a mother would be ashemed if she were still alive." he grinned maniacally as he shoved the girls into the homemade black spray painted hotbox in the noon sun.
Danny, being a reasonable father, went inside with Michelle on his left shoulder. He offloaded his youngest into her crib, and returned with a bottle containing an equal measure combination of Gordon's Gin and whole milk. The audience "Awwwws" as the child dozes off from the alcohol she consumed, and the scene fades into credits.
Frodo was feeling tight in the pants, and needed the attention. Gandalf had been ignoring him for several days after catching the young hobbit with a carrot in his asshole. Gandalf had reprimanded the young hobbit by expressing his distaste for using vegetables, and not withered-old-wizard penis for anal intercourse. He had told the young hobbit that he was "a traitorous vegetablephyte" and had run off sobbing. Frodo barely acknowleged by saying "fuck off, bitter old queen." Gandalf was getting lonely and had blueballs, so decided to try and make right with the young hobbit. Gandalf put on the special elven [cock]ring, and burst down Frodo's door. Frodo's instant reaction was the bleating of "you marvelous old bastard! Fuck me in the ass!"
Full House: Weekend Recollection
on
Fair IP Laws?
·
· Score: -1
TheMonday morning after a weekend spent mostly at the VA
Hospital with her mentally crippled sister depressed D.J.
slightly. Uncle Joey passes by the unhinged door of D.J.'s
room and says "You're sexually harrassing me with your
eyes you little bitch, get your fuckin' ass out of bed,
it's time for school. Cut It Out! No seriously, don't make
me undress you." Uncle Joey departs licking his lips and
heading downstairs. D.J. pulls the covers over her head
drifts off into a recurrence of events sequence as the
audience laugh track plays.
We're now observing the events of Saturday as D.J. is
dreaming. D.J. is required by her father to use a
specific routine each time her sister Michelle needs
medical attention for asthma attacks and immunizations, of
course Danny would never bother to to do this for his
youngest offspring. However, D.J. does it reasonably well,
albeit mostly slower than could be done through legitimate
channels. On Saturday afternoon she arrived at the
hospital, claiming to be a pre-teen runaway that lives in
a dumpster with her retarded sister. As usual, a nurse
promptly took the pair to the rear of the children's ward
and had them stripped after administering a generic
inhaler on Michelle. The nurse Juanita, a middle-aged
heavy-set black woman asked with mild compassion "Good
looooahhd, why you have this padlock on your puujammas?"
D.J. had no reasonable reply, none that wouldn't wind her
up in a worse abusive foster home again, so lied and said
she did not know. "Don' you worry tho', I gots a pair of
bolt cuttahs near the crazy ward, I will be right back
yungins." Juanita returned shortly with bolt cutters and
cut the lock off of the homemade fabric secure.
Juanita said quickly, "You know the drill" as she
surprised the two sisters with a forceful, icy burst from
a garden hose; laugh track applauding as the girls
squirmed in frozen discomfort. Juanita threw soaps at the
girls. Juanita exlaimed in disbelief, "Mercy D.J., you
have a mighty serious case of jock itch for a chile of yo'
age!" Michelle didn't know what to make of the soap, so
bit off a tiny piece. Michelle, like most retards, reacted
in a heavily emotional manner to the bitter taste in her
mouth as she began to foam, and swallowed most of it on
accident. Juanita exlaimed "Good loahhhd," and directed
the hose stream square into the tard's open whiney mouth,
knocking her onto her naked ass as the laugh track reched
climax. D.J. was nearly finished washing herself, and let
her idiot-child sibling struggle against Juanita's hose
current, bawling as full volume while Juanita chuckled
heartily at the reaction she had induced.
D.J. dried herself off and watched Juanita deliver the
thick stream of water at Michelle's tiny hindquarters;
pushing her along the slick tiled floor with a white
nurse's shoe. Several minutes later Juanita dried Michelle
off, sat her down on an examination table and
administered a Polio immunization. The tard showed signs
of discomfort, but was met with a swift slap to the head
by Juanita in anticipation. Juanita remarked "Don't you be
lettin' that chile cry in this hospital room!" Michelle
sat stunned; cross-eyed as the laugh track played. "Time
to see what chile welfare can do about a foster home fo'
you kids," Juanita said as she left the exam room. D.J.
picked up her little sister and snuck past the front desk
of the hospital and left the building, bare asses visible
through the rear of their hospital gowns as the sequence
of occurance faded out with the laugh track playing in the
background.
Danny was walking past his daughter's room and noticed
that she was still sleeping. Danny took off his leather
belt, halved it, placed the folded end in his palm and
savagely began to beat his daughter with the buckle end of
the belt, screaming "Your Uncle Joey *thwap* told your
ass to *thwap* get out of *thwap* bed! You remind me of
your dead mother, useless, may she burn in hell! Get out
of bed!" Danny Tanner put his belt back on, buckled it,
took something out of his pocket wrapped in a Burger King
hamburger paper wrapper and threw it at his daugher.
"Here's breakfast, be careful of the extra 'surprise' I've
included," Danny said as he left in the hall chuckling
snidely with the studio audience. D.J. unwrapped a half-
eaten BK Whopper that had been in Danny's left pocket for
several days and ate it greedily, dabbing at some ketchup
on a snotty kleenex that was wrapped with the burger. The
scene closes with the credits rolling over a freeze-frame
of D.J.'s face immediately after having seen the repulsive
kleenex with about a teaspoon worth of yellow phlegm.
TheMonday morning after a weekend spent mostly at the VA
Hospital with her mentally crippled sister depressed D.J.
slightly. Uncle Joey passes by the unhinged door of D.J.'s
room and says "You're sexually harrassing me with your
eyes you little bitch, get your fuckin' ass out of bed,
it's time for school. Cut It Out! No seriously, don't make
me undress you." Uncle Joey departs licking his lips and
heading downstairs. D.J. pulls the covers over her head
drifts off into a recurrence of events sequence as the
audience laugh track plays.
We're now observing the events of Saturday as D.J. is
dreaming. D.J. is required by her father to use a
specific routine each time her sister Michelle needs
medical attention for asthma attacks and immunizations, of
course Danny would never bother to to do this for his
youngest offspring. However, D.J. does it reasonably well,
albeit mostly slower than could be done through legitimate
channels. On Saturday afternoon she arrived at the
hospital, claiming to be a pre-teen runaway that lives in
a dumpster with her retarded sister. As usual, a nurse
promptly took the pair to the rear of the children's ward
and had them stripped after administering a generic
inhaler on Michelle. The nurse Juanita, a middle-aged
heavy-set black woman asked with mild compassion "Good
looooahhd, why you have this padlock on your puujammas?"
D.J. had no reasonable reply, none that wouldn't wind her
up in a worse abusive foster home again, so lied and said
she did not know. "Don' you worry tho', I gots a pair of
bolt cuttahs near the crazy ward, I will be right back
yungins." Juanita returned shortly with bolt cutters and
cut the lock off of the homemade fabric secure.
Juanita said quickly, "You know the drill" as she
surprised the two sisters with a forceful, icy burst from
a garden hose; laugh track applauding as the girls
squirmed in frozen discomfort. Juanita threw soaps at the
girls. Juanita exlaimed in disbelief, "Mercy D.J., you
have a mighty serious case of jock itch for a chile of yo'
age!" Michelle didn't know what to make of the soap, so
bit off a tiny piece. Michelle, like most retards, reacted
in a heavily emotional manner to the bitter taste in her
mouth as she began to foam, and swallowed most of it on
accident. Juanita exlaimed "Good loahhhd," and directed
the hose stream square into the tard's open whiney mouth,
knocking her onto her naked ass as the laugh track reched
climax. D.J. was nearly finished washing herself, and let
her idiot-child sibling struggle against Juanita's hose
current, bawling as full volume while Juanita chuckled
heartily at the reaction she had induced.
D.J. dried herself off and watched Juanita deliver the
thick stream of water at Michelle's tiny hindquarters;
pushing her along the slick tiled floor with a white
nurse's shoe. Several minutes later Juanita dried Michelle
off, sat her down on an examination table and
administered a Polio immunization. The tard showed signs
of discomfort, but was met with a swift slap to the head
by Juanita in anticipation. Juanita remarked "Don't you be
lettin' that chile cry in this hospital room!" Michelle
sat stunned; cross-eyed as the laugh track played. "Time
to see what chile welfare can do about a foster home fo'
you kids," Juanita said as she left the exam room. D.J.
picked up her little sister and snuck past the front desk
of the hospital and left the building, bare asses visible
through the rear of their hospital gowns as the sequence
of occurance faded out with the laugh track playing in the
background.
Danny was walking past his daughter's room and noticed
that she was still sleeping. Danny took off his leather
belt, halved it, placed the folded end in his palm and
savagely began to beat his daughter with the buckle end of
the belt, screaming "Your Uncle Joey *thwap* told your
ass to *thwap* get out of *thwap* bed! You remind me of
your dead mother, useless, may she burn in hell! Get out
of bed!" Danny Tanner put his belt back on, buckled it,
took something out of his pocket wrapped in a Burger King
hamburger paper wrapper and threw it at his daugher.
"Here's breakfast, be careful of the extra 'surprise' I've
included," Danny said as he left in the hall chuckling
snidely with the studio audience. D.J. unwrapped a half-
eaten BK Whopper that had been in Danny's left pocket for
several days and ate it greedily, dabbing at some ketchup
on a snotty kleenex that was wrapped with the burger. The
scene closes with the credits rolling over a freeze-frame
of D.J.'s face immediately after having seen the repulsive
kleenex with about a teaspoon worth of yellow phlegm.
TheMonday morning after a weekend spent mostly
at the VA Hospital with her mentally crippled
sister depressed D.J. slightly. Uncle Joey passes
by the unhinged door of D.J.'s room and says
"You're sexually harrassing me with your eyes you
little bitch, get your fuckin' ass out of bed, it's time
for school. Cut It Out! No seriously, don't make me undress
you." Uncle Joey departs licking his lips and heading
downstairs. D.J. pulls the covers over her head drifts off
into a recurrence of events sequence as the audience laugh
track plays.
We're now observing the events of Saturday as D.J. is
dreaming. D.J. is required by her father to use a specific
routine each time her sister Michelle needs medical
attention for asthma attacks and immunizations, of course
Danny would never bother to to do this for his youngest
offspring. However, D.J. does it reasonably well, albeit
mostly slower than could be done through legitimate
channels. On Saturday afternoon she arrived at the
hospital, claiming to be a pre-teen runaway that lives in
a dumpster with her retarded sister. As usual, a nurse
promptly took the pair to the rear of the children's ward
and had them stripped after administering a generic
inhaler on Michelle. The nurse Juanita, a middle-aged
heavy-set black woman asked with mild compassion "Good
looooahhd, why you have this padlock on your puujammas?"
D.J. had no reasonable reply, none that wouldn't wind her
up in a worse abusive foster home again, so lied and said
she did not know. "Don' you worry tho', I gots a pair of
bolt cuttahs near the crazy ward, I will be right back
yungins." Juanita returned shortly with bolt cutters and
cut the lock off of the homemade fabric secure.
Juanita said quickly, "You know the drill" as she surprised
the two sisters with a forceful, icy burst from a garden
hose; laugh track applauding as the girls squirmed in
frozen discomfort. Juanita threw soaps at the girls.
Juanita exlaimed in disbelief, "Mercy D.J., you have a
mighty serious case of jock itch for a chile of yo' age!"
Michelle didn't know what to make of the soap, so bit off a
tiny piece. Michelle, like most retards, reacted in a
heavily emotional manner to the bitter taste in her mouth
as she began to foam, and swallowed most of it on
accident. Juanita exlaimed "Good loahhhd," and directed
the hose stream square into the tard's open whiney mouth,
knocking her onto her naked ass as the laugh track reched
climax. D.J. was nearly finished washing herself, and let
her idiot-child sibling struggle against Juanita's hose
current, bawling as full volume while Juanita chuckled
heartily at the reaction she had induced.
D.J. dried herself off and watched Juanita deliver the
thick stream of water at Michelle's tiny hindquarters;
pushing her along the slick tiled floor with a white
nurse's shoe. Several minutes later Juanita dried Michelle
off, sat her down on an examination table and administered
a Polio immunization. The tard showed signs of discomfort,
but was met with a swift slap to the head by Juanita in
anticipation. Juanita remarked "Don't you be lettin' that
chile cry in this hospital room!" Michelle sat stunned;
cross-eyed as the laugh track played. "Time to see what
chile welfare can do about a foster home fo' you kids,"
Juanita said as she left the exam room. D.J. picked up her
little sister and snuck past the front desk of the hospital
and left the building, bare asses visible through the rear
of their hospital gowns as the sequence of occurance faded
out with the laugh track playing in the background.
Danny was walking past his daughter's room and noticed that
she was still sleeping. Danny took off his leather belt,
halved it, placed the folded end in his palm and savagely
began to beat his daughter with the buckle end of the belt,
screaming "Your Uncle Joey *thwap* told your ass to *thwap*
get out of *thwap* bed! You remind me of your dead
mother, useless, may she burn in hell! Get out of bed!"
Danny Tanner put his belt back on, buckled it, took
something out of his pocket wrapped in a Burger King
hamburger paper wrapper and threw it at his daugher.
"Here's breakfast, be careful of the extra 'surprise' I've
included," Danny said as he left in the hall chuckling
snidely with the studio audience. D.J. unwrapped a half-
eaten BK Whopper that had been in Danny's left pocket for
several days and ate it greedily, dabbing at some ketchup
on a snotty kleenex that was wrapped with the burger. The
scene closes with the credits rolling over a freeze-frame
of D.J.'s face immediately after having seen the repulsive
kleenex with about a teaspoon worth of yellow phlegm.
..however, my stories usually just come to me. In other news, the fucking slashfags just knocked me down from -5 karma to -8. Fuckholes. Somebody with a wad of karma and a vendetta is now my enemy. Furthermore, I'm IP banned once again.
New story, hot off the presses, two posts under this. Also in my journal!
Full House: Weekend Recollection
on
2600 Appeal Rejected
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
TheMonday morning after a weekend spent
mostly at the VA Hospital with her mentally
crippled sister depressed D.J. slightly.
Uncle Joey passes by the unhinged door of
D.J.'s room and says "You're sexually
harrassing me with your eyes you little bitch, get
your fuckin' ass out of bed, it's time for school. Cut
It Out! No seriously, don't make me undress you."
Uncle Joey departs licking his lips and heading
downstairs. D.J. pulls the covers over her head
drifts off into a recurrence of events sequence as
the audience laugh track plays.
We're now observing the events of Saturday as D.J. is
dreaming. D.J. is required by her father to use a
specific routine each time her sister Michelle needs
medical attention for asthma attacks and
immunizations, of course Danny would never bother to
to do this for his youngest offspring. However, D.J.
does it reasonably well, albeit mostly slower than
could be done through legitimate channels. On
Saturday afternoon she arrived at the hospital,
claiming to be a pre-teen runaway that lives in a
dumpster with her retarded sister. As usual, a nurse
promptly took the pair to the rear of the children's
ward and had them stripped after administering a
generic inhaler on Michelle. The nurse Juanita, a
middle-aged heavy-set black woman asked with mild
compassion "Good looooahhd, why you have this padlock
on your puujammas?" D.J. had no reasonable reply,
none that wouldn't wind her up in a worse abusive
foster home again, so lied and said she did not
know. "Don' you worry tho', I gots a pair of bolt
cuttahs near the crazy ward, I will be right back
yungins." Juanita returned shortly with bolt cutters
and cut the lock off of the homemade fabric secure.
Juanita said quickly, "You know the drill" as she
surprised the two sisters with a forceful, icy burst
from a garden hose; laugh track applauding as the
girls squirmed in frozen discomfort. Juanita threw
soaps at the girls. Juanita exlaimed in disbelief,
"Mercy D.J., you have a mighty serious case of jock
itch for a chile of yo' age!" Michelle didn't know
what to make of the soap, so bit off a tiny piece.
Michelle, like most retards, reacted in a heavily
emotional manner to the bitter taste in her mouth as
she began to foam, and swallowed most of it on
accident. Juanita exlaimed "Good loahhhd," and
directed the hose stream square into the tard's open
whiney mouth, knocking her onto her naked ass as the
laugh track reched climax. D.J. was nearly finished
washing herself, and let her idiot-child sibling
struggle against Juanita's hose current, bawling as
full volume while Juanita chuckled heartily at the
reaction she had induced.
D.J. dried herself off and watched Juanita deliver
the thick stream of water at Michelle's tiny
hindquarters; pushing her along the slick tiled floor
with a white nurse's shoe. Several minutes later
Juanita dried Michelle off, sat her down on an
examination table and administered a Polio
immunization. The tard showed signs of discomfort,
but was met with a swift slap to the head by Juanita
in anticipation. Juanita remarked "Don't you be
lettin' that chile cry in this hospital room!"
Michelle sat stunned; cross-eyed as the laugh track
played. "Time to see what chile welfare can do about
a foster home fo' you kids," Juanita said as she left
the exam room. D.J. picked up her little sister and
snuck past the front desk of the hospital and left
the building, bare asses visible through the rear of
their hospital gowns as the sequence of occurance
faded out with the laugh track playing in the
background.
Danny was walking past his daughter's room and
noticed that she was still sleeping. Danny took off
his leather belt, halved it, placed the folded end in
his palm and savagely began to beat his daughter with
the buckle end of the belt, screaming "Your Uncle
Joey *thwap* told your ass to *thwap* get out of *
thwap* bed! You remind me of your dead mother,
useless, may she burn in hell! Get out of bed!" Danny
Tanner put his belt back on, buckled it, took
something out of his pocket wrapped in a Burger King
hamburger paper wrapper and threw it at his daugher.
"Here's breakfast, be careful of the extra 'surprise'
I've included," Danny said as he left in the hall
chuckling snidely with the studio audience. D.J.
unwrapped a half-eaten BK Whopper that had been in
Danny's left pocket for several days and ate it
greedily, dabbing at some ketchup on a snotty kleenex
that was wrapped with the burger. The scene closes
with the credits rolling over a freeze-frame of
D.J.'s face immediately after having seen the
repulsive kleenex with about a teaspoon worth of
yellow phlegm.
Slashdot Mirror
I really like
long stuff, don't
you Mister Malda?
Long stuff fucks you in
the cornhole the
way that you like it.
Jamal has long stuff
in his underpants.
Maybe Jamal will
make
a stop by the
slashdot compound after his shift is
over at the recycling plant.
I hear Jamal bought
a cockring and a
new Hyundai Accent.
It'll be so bleeding useful when it's obsolete next month. Fucking tards.
"So what have you learned from your career as a Videogame Musician?" "Well, basically, if I want to eat, I have to work for money. This usually requires making music for a commercial game because I have better things to do than make music for 'Tux Racer'."
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o O 0 / ```\ Feiss is o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
0 o o|()--()| so hot! o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
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o / / | | \ \ o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
0 888 | | 888 o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
O o |______| O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
0 0 | 8=D | O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
0 o 0' | ' O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
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0 / / \ g \ O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
___/______/ \_______\___ O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
| | | | O o O o O o O o O o O o O o O o
|_____/\__| |__/\______|
Danny Tanner woke up abruptly with a massive hangover, vomited into his bedside sick-bucket and wiped his mouth with the bedsheets. "FUCKING SHIT," he exclaimed after pressing his lips to an empty plastic 1.75L bottle of Jenkins 90 Proof Vodka, "Out again already, goddamnit!", chucking the empty plastic jug to the floor. Danny Tanner staggered his way down the hall banging on his children's doors as he passed, yelling "Get your asses out of bed! We need to take a little trip to the store for daddy because none of you little bastards is old enough to buy alcohol! I expect that you'll all have your collars on by the time I'm done taking a shit! Make sure you fasten Michelle's tighter this time!" The Live Studio Audience whoops in approval. Danny slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly afterwards, distinguishable gas farts and watery diarrhea noises are heard from the surrounding rooms, accompanied by grunts, moans and further vomiting.
... up. See you later." Danny made his way back downstairs while listening to more shuffling and manly giggling.
D.J. was aware of the consequences of not using Danny's allotted time window, so promptly put on her dog collar with the spikes pointing toward the neck, as this is the only way Danny would accept them to be worn (with fear of beating mind you.) It was always the opinion of D.J. that mild stabbing pains around the neck were preferable to a savage beating in addition to the stabbing pains later. Being the eldest forced her into the position of being "responsible" for the younger siblings and thusly would endure the majority of all beatings. Steph knew this and purposefully made D.J. chase her around the living room yelling "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Upon the third lap, D.J. heard a loud THUD. Michelle, previously perched on the back of the sofa, had fallen face first onto the floor. Although simply shocked by the fall, the small mongoloid only began crying as she noticed the warm blood on her finger after some nosepicking. Live Studio Audience sniggers. Steph finally decided to stop being a little shit and submitted. D.J. put on Steph and Michelle's collars and proceeded to attach the leashes.
After gaining some composure, Danny burst out of the bathroom and headed for Joey's bedroom. Before knocking on the door, he noticed grunting coming out of the room. "Don't try to insert an un-lubed summer sausage of that size into me, Joey! It'll rip!" Jesse's toned-down voice could be heard through Joey's door. Danny yelled "Uhm, I'm going out to get some booze, you guys want any?" Footsteps shuffled and magazine pages were thumbed through for several seconds before Joey replied, "No, we're cool. Jesse's just....helping me...clean
"Well well," he condescendingly remarked "so you finally learned." Danny took the three leashes and lightly yanked them along towards The Van. "Get yer asses in." Danny opened the The Van's rear door, exposing the three lettuce crates of which he had created makeshift child seats, tethered with nylon rope. "Seatbelts please. Thank you!" The girls hadn't yet fastened their "safety belts," but would need to, with Danny's erratic driving skills.
Danny Tanner peeled out of the driveway, nearly hitting D.J.'s young friend Kimberly Gibbler. The Live Studio Audience cheers with laughter as Kimmy is caught off guard and crashes her banana-seat bicycle into the Tanner mailbox. Laugh Track plays as Danny observes the incident through his rear-view mirror and remarks, "I'll deal with that shit when we get home." Danny darted down the interstate, passing cars in both the fast and slow lanes, taking the second exit. Danny disregards the offramp stop sign and tears-ass into the Safeway parking lot's primo handicapped parking space. Danny hops out of The Van, opens the rear doors, take his daughters' leashes and marches them into the supermarket's seafood section. Danny lifts Michelle into a freezer "playpen" bin and instructs his two older daughters to "Keep an eye on this one, or else." Danny left the store in a rush, exiting to the right toward Jake's Liquor Store.
Steph opens a plastic container of imitation crab meat and dumps the liquid-solid mixture onto her younger sister's head. Michelle shivers as she grips the frost-laden freezer bin's outer edges, trying to hoist herself up a bit to see what was happening in the store.
A young boy of Steph's age had escaped his mother's kiddie harness and peeked over the opposite side of the bin, where Michelle and her sisters couldn't see him. Knowing that the young child was mentally crippled, he, like the Live Studio Audience found it humorous that tugging on the toddler's jumpsuit pajamas caused her to fall over. Michelle restored herself to the former standing position on side of the freezer, but was tugged down a second time with greater force and began crying. The young boy ran away chuckling. Steph heard this and yelled "Hey I know you! You're Bobby Sherman! Wait up!" Steph darted off as onlookers watched the four-child spectacle happen around the freezer bin. D.J. yelled "Hey! Get back here!" and chased after the middle child, Live Studio Audience laughing. The shoppers quickly lost interest and didn't notice that Michelle had managed to climb out of the freezer bin. Michelle squandered her newly-gained freedom for several minutes picking up dust-bunnies from under the massive refrigerator with her cold numb hands and tasting them.
Danny soon returned from the liquor store, three shopping bags in hand. "Oh what the FUCK!" he roared as he saw the Michelle alone, sitting beside the receptacle. He heaved his daughter back into the frosty cell and went on a hunting trip for his other children. Not half a minute had elapsed before he heard the pitter-patter of two sets of feet. He spotted D.J. chasing her sister down the T.V. dinner aisle and quickly caught up, kicking D.J. square in the back as she grasped Steph's leash. Both girls fell to the floor hard as D.J. impacted with Steph. "You'll suffer the penalties when we get home, but you need to retrieve your sister RIGHT FUCKING NOW and get in The Van before I beat you right here!" The two girls make their way back to the freezer and struggle to get the little tard out and are finally hauled off by their leashes toward The Van.
After crumbling and chucking the handicapped parking ticket that was under his windshield wiper, Danny drove home at a slower speed, obeying all traffic laws for the most part. He was very angry and was deciding on the punishment for his two oldest daughters. The show's scene-switching saxophone music plays as it fades into the Tanner residence backyard, where Danny is supporting the lid of a metal box. "Your punishment, eighteen hours in the hot box! Your whore of a mother would be ashamed if she were still alive." he grinned maniacally as he shoved the girls into the homemade black spray-painted hotbox in the noon sun.
Danny, being a reasonable father, went inside with Michelle on his left shoulder. He offloaded his youngest into her crib, and returned with a bottle containing an equal measure combination of Gordon's Gin and whole milk. The Live Studio Audience "Awwwws" as the child dozes off from the alcohol she consumes, and the scene fades into credits.
Danny Tanner woke up abruptly with a massive hangover, vomited into his bedside sick-bucket and wiped his mouth with the bedsheets. "FUCKING SHIT," he exclaimed after pressing his lips to an empty plastic 1.75L bottle of Jenkins 90 Proof Vodka, "Out again already, goddamnit!", chucking the empty plastic jug to the floor. Danny Tanner staggered his way down the hall banging on his children's doors as he passed, yelling "Get your asses out of bed! We need to take a little trip to the store for daddy because none of you little bastards is old enough to buy alcohol! I expect that you'll all have your collars on by the time I'm done taking a shit! Make sure you fasten Michelle's tighter this time!" The Live Studio Audience whoops in approval. Danny slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly afterwards, distinguishable gas farts and watery diarrhea noises are heard from the surrounding rooms, accompanied by grunts, moans and further vomiting.
... up. See you later." Danny made his way back downstairs while listening to more shuffling and manly giggling.
D.J. was aware of the consequences of not using Danny's allotted time window, so promptly put on her dog collar with the spikes pointing toward the neck, as this is the only way Danny would accept them to be worn (with fear of beating mind you.) It was always the opinion of D.J. that mild stabbing pains around the neck were preferable to a savage beating in addition to the stabbing pains later. Being the eldest forced her into the position of being "responsible" for the younger siblings and thusly would endure the majority of all beatings. Steph knew this and purposefully made D.J. chase her around the living room yelling "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Upon the third lap, D.J. heard a loud THUD. Michelle, previously perched on the back of the sofa, had fallen face first onto the floor. Although simply shocked by the fall, the small mongoloid only began crying as she noticed the warm blood on her finger after some nosepicking. Live Studio Audience sniggers. Steph finally decided to stop being a little shit and submitted. D.J. put on Steph and Michelle's collars and proceeded to attach the leashes.
After gaining some composure, Danny burst out of the bathroom and headed for Joey's bedroom. Before knocking on the door, he noticed grunting coming out of the room. "Don't try to insert an un-lubed summer sausage of that size into me, Joey! It'll rip!" Jesse's toned-down voice could be heard through Joey's door. Danny yelled "Uhm, I'm going out to get some booze, you guys want any?" Footsteps shuffled and magazine pages were thumbed through for several seconds before Joey replied, "No, we're cool. Jesse's just....helping me...clean
"Well well," he condescendingly remarked "so you finally learned." Danny took the three leashes and lightly yanked them along towards The Van. "Get yer asses in." Danny opened the The Van's rear door, exposing the three lettuce crates of which he had created makeshift child seats, tethered with nylon rope. "Seatbelts please. Thank you!" The girls hadn't yet fastened their "safety belts," but would need to, with Danny's erratic driving skills.
Danny Tanner peeled out of the driveway, nearly hitting D.J.'s young friend Kimberly Gibbler. The Live Studio Audience cheers with laughter as Kimmy is caught off guard and crashes her banana-seat bicycle into the Tanner mailbox. Laugh Track plays as Danny observes the incident through his rear-view mirror and remarks, "I'll deal with that shit when we get home." Danny darted down the interstate, passing cars in both the fast and slow lanes, taking the second exit. Danny disregards the offramp stop sign and tears-ass into the Safeway parking lot's primo handicapped parking space. Danny hops out of The Van, opens the rear doors, take his daughters' leashes and marches them into the supermarket's seafood section. Danny lifts Michelle into a freezer "playpen" bin and instructs his two older daughters to "Keep an eye on this one, or else." Danny left the store in a rush, exiting to the right toward Jake's Liquor Store.
Steph opens a plastic container of imitation crab meat and dumps the liquid-solid mixture onto her younger sister's head. Michelle shivers as she grips the frost-laden freezer bin's outer edges, trying to hoist herself up a bit to see what was happening in the store.
A young boy of Steph's age had escaped his mother's kiddie harness and peeked over the opposite side of the bin, where Michelle and her sisters couldn't see him. Knowing that the young child was mentally crippled, he, like the Live Studio Audience found it humorous that tugging on the toddler's jumpsuit pajamas caused her to fall over. Michelle restored herself to the former standing position on side of the freezer, but was tugged down a second time with greater force and began crying. The young boy ran away chuckling. Steph heard this and yelled "Hey I know you! You're Bobby Sherman! Wait up!" Steph darted off as onlookers watched the four-child spectacle happen around the freezer bin. D.J. yelled "Hey! Get back here!" and chased after the middle child, Live Studio Audience laughing. The shoppers quickly lost interest and didn't notice that Michelle had managed to climb out of the freezer bin. Michelle squandered her newly-gained freedom for several minutes picking up dust-bunnies from under the massive refrigerator with her cold numb hands and tasting them.
Danny soon returned from the liquor store, three shopping bags in hand. "Oh what the FUCK!" he roared as he saw the Michelle alone, sitting beside the receptacle. He heaved his daughter back into the frosty cell and went on a hunting trip for his other children. Not half a minute had elapsed before he heard the pitter-patter of two sets of feet. He spotted D.J. chasing her sister down the T.V. dinner aisle and quickly caught up, kicking D.J. square in the back as she grasped Steph's leash. Both girls fell to the floor hard as D.J. impacted with Steph. "You'll suffer the penalties when we get home, but you need to retrieve your sister RIGHT FUCKING NOW and get in The Van before I beat you right here!" The two girls make their way back to the freezer and struggle to get the little tard out and are finally hauled off by their leashes toward The Van.
After crumbling and chucking the handicapped parking ticket that was under his windshield wiper, Danny drove home at a slower speed, obeying all traffic laws for the most part. He was very angry and was deciding on the punishment for his two oldest daughters. The show's scene-switching saxophone music plays as it fades into the Tanner residence backyard, where Danny is supporting the lid of a metal box. "Your punishment, eighteen hours in the hot box! Your whore of a mother would be ashamed if she were still alive." he grinned maniacally as he shoved the girls into the homemade black spray-painted hotbox in the noon sun.
Danny, being a reasonable father, went inside with Michelle on his left shoulder. He offloaded his youngest into her crib, and returned with a bottle containing an equal measure combination of Gordon's Gin and whole milk. The Live Studio Audience "Awwwws" as the child dozes off from the alcohol she consumes, and the scene fades into credits.
Danny Tanner woke up abruptly with a massive hangover, vomited into his bedside sick-bucket and wiped his mouth with the bedsheets. "FUCKING SHIT," he exclaimed after pressing his lips to an empty plastic 1.75L bottle of Jenkins 90 Proof Vodka, "Out again already, goddamnit!", chucking the empty plastic jug to the floor. Danny Tanner staggered his way down the hall banging on his children's doors as he passed, yelling "Get your asses out of bed! We need to take a little trip to the store for daddy because none of you little bastards is old enough to buy alcohol! I expect that you'll all have your collars on by the time I'm done taking a shit! Make sure you fasten Michelle's tighter this time!" The studio audience whoops in approval. Danny slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly afterwards, distinguishable gas farts and watery diarrhea noises are heard from the surrounding rooms, accompanied by grunts, moans and further vomiting.
... up. See you later." Danny made his way back downstairs while listening to more shuffling and manly giggling.
D.J. was aware of the consequences of not using Danny's allotted time window, so promptly put on her dog collar with the spikes pointing toward the neck, as this is the only way Danny would accept them to be worn (with fear of beating mind you.) It was always the opinion of D.J. that mild stabbing pains around the neck were preferable to a savage beating in addition to the stabbing pains later. Being the eldest forced her into the position of being "responsible" for the younger siblings and thusly would endure the majority of all beatings. Steph was aware of this fact and purposefully made D.J. chase her around the living room yelling "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Upon the third lap, D.J. heard a loud THUD. Michelle, perched on the back of the sofa, had fallen face first onto the floor. Although simply shocked by the fall, the small mongoloid only began crying as she noticed the warm blood on her finger after some nosepicking. Audience sniggers. Steph finally decided to stop being a little shit and submitted. D.J. put on Steph and Michelle's collars and proceeded to attach the leashes.
After gaining some composure, Danny burst out of the bathroom and headed for Joey's bedroom. Before knocking on the door, he noticed grunting coming out of the room. "Don't try to insert an un-lubed summer sausage of that size into me, Joey! It'll rip!" Jesse's toned-down voice could be heard through Joey's door. Danny yelled "Uhm, I'm going out to get some booze, you guys want any?" Footsteps shuffled and magazine pages were thumbed through for several seconds before Joey replied, "No, we're cool. Jesse's just....helping me...clean
"Well well," he condescendingly remarked "so you finally learned." Danny took the three leashes and lightly yanked them along towards The Van. "Get yer asses in." Danny opened the van's rear door, exposing the three lettuce crates of which he had created makeshift child out of seats with nylon rope tether. "Seatbelts please. Thank you!" The girls hadn't yet fastened their "safety belts" yet, but would need to, with Danny's erratic driving skills.
Danny Tanner peels out of the driveway, nearly hitting D.J.'s young friend Kimberly Gibbler. The audience cheers with laughter as Kimmy is caught off guard and crashes her banana-seat bicycle into the Tanner mailbox. Laugh track plays as Danny observes the incident through his rear-view mirror and remarks, "I'll deal with that shit when we get home." Danny darted down the interstate, passing cars in both the fast and slow lane, taking the second exit. Danny disregards the offramp stop sign and tears-ass into the Safeway parking lot's primo handicapped parking space. Danny hopped out of the van, opened the rear doors, took his daughters' leashes and marched them into the supermarket's seafood section. Danny lifts Michelle into a freezer "playpen" bin and instructed his two older daughters to "Keep an eye on this one, or else." Danny left the store in a rush, exiting to the right toward Jake's Liquor Store.
Steph opened a plastic container of imitation crab meat and dumped the liquid-solid mixture onto her younger sister's head. Michelle shiverered as she gripped the frost-laden freezer bin's outer edges, trying to hoist herself up a bit to see what was happening in the store.
A young boy of Steph's age had escaped his mother's kiddie harness and peeked over the opposite side of the bin, where Michelle and her sisters couldn't see him. Knowing that the young child was mentally crippled, he, like the Live Studio Audience found it humorous that tugging on the toddler's jumpsuit pajamas caused her to fall over. Michelle restored herself to the former standing position on side of the, but was tugged down a second time with greater force and began crying. The young boy ran away chuckling. Steph heard this and yelled "Hey I know you! You're Bobby Sherman! Wait up!" Steph darted off as onlookers watched the four-child spectacle happen around the freezer bin. D.J. yelled "Hey! Get back here!" and chased after the middle child, studio audience laughing. The shoppers' CNN-soaked minds quickly lost interest and didn't notice that Michelle had managed to climb out of the freezer bin. Michelle squandered her newly-gained freedom for several minutes picking up dust-bunnies from under the massive refrigerator with her cold numb hands and tasting them.
Danny soon returned from the liquor store, three shopping bags in hand. "Oh what the FUCK!" he roared as he saw the Michelle alone, sitting beside the receptacle. He heaved his daughter back into the frosty cell and went on a hunting trip for his other children. Not half a minute had elapsed before he heard the pitter-patter of two sets of feet. He spotted D.J. chasing her sister down the T.V. dinner aisle and quickly caught up, kicking D.J. square in the back as she grasped Steph's leash. Both girls fell to the floor hard as D.J. impacted with Steph. "You'll suffer the penalties when we get home, but you need to retrieve your sister RIGHT FUCKING NOW and get in the van before I beat you right here!" The two girls struggled to get the little tard out and were finally hauled off by their leashes toward the van moments later.
After crumbling and chucking the handicapped parking ticket that was under his windshield wiper, Danny drove home at a slower speed, obeying all traffic laws for the most part. He was very angry and was deciding on the punishment for his two oldest daughters. The show's scene-switching saxophone music plays as the scene fades into the Tanner residence backyard where Danny is supporting the lid of a metal box. "Your punishment, eighteen hours in the hot box! Your whore of a mother would be ashamed if she were still alive." he grinned maniacally as he shoved the girls into the homemade black spray painted hotbox in the noon sun.
Danny, being a reasonable father, went inside with Michelle on his left shoulder. He offloaded his youngest into her crib, and returned with a bottle containing an equal measure combination of Gordon's Gin and whole milk. The audience "Awwwws" as the child dozes off from the alcohol she consumed, and the scene fades into credits.
Danny Tanner woke up abruptly with a massive hangover, vomited into his bedside sick-bucket and wiped his mouth with the bedsheets. "FUCKING SHIT," he exclaimed after pressing his lips to an empty plastic 1.75L bottle of Jenkins 90 Proof Vodka, "Out again already, goddamnit!", chucking the empty plastic jug to the floor. Danny Tanner staggered his way down the hall banging on his children's doors as he passed, yelling "Get your asses out of bed! We need to take a little trip to the store for daddy because none of you little bastards is old enough to buy alcohol! I expect that you'll all have your collars on by the time I'm done taking a shit! Make sure you fasten Michelle's tighter this time!" The studio audience whoops in approval. Danny slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly afterwards, distinguishable gas farts and watery diarrhea noises are heard from the surrounding rooms, accompanied by grunts, moans and further vomiting.
... up. See you later." Danny made his way back downstairs while listening to more shuffling and manly giggling.
D.J. was aware of the consequenses of not using Danny's alloted time window, so promptly put on her dog collar with the spikes pointing toward the neck, as this is the only way Danny would accept them to be worn (with fear of beating mind you.) It was always the opinion of D.J. that mild stabbing pains around the neck were preferable to a savage beating in addition to the stabbing pains later. Being the eldest forced her into the position of being "responsible" for the younger syblings and thusly would endure the majority of all beatings. Steph was aware of this fact and purposefully made D.J. chase her around the living room yelling "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Upon the third lap, D.J. heard a loud THUD. Michelle, perched on the back of the sofa, had fallen face first onto the floor. Although simply shocked by the fall, the small mongoloid only began crying as she noticed the warm blood on her finger after some nosepicking. Audience sniggers. Steph finally decided to stop being a little shit and submitted. D.J. put on Steph and Michelle's collars and proceeded to attach the leashes.
After gaining some composure, Danny burst out of the bathroom and headed for Joey's bedroom. Before knocking on the door, he noticed grunting coming out of the room. "Don't try to insert an un-lubed summer sausage of that size into me, Joey! It'll rip!" Jesse's toned-down voice could be heard through Joey's door. Danny yelled "Uhm, I'm going out to get some booze, you guys want any?" Footsteps shuffled and magazine pages were thumbed through for several seconds before Joey replied, "No, we're cool. Jesse's just....helping me...clean
"Well well," he condescendingly remarked "so you finally learned." Danny took the three leashes and lightly yanked them along towards The Van. "Get yer asses in." Danny opened the van's rear door, exposing the three lettuce crates of which he had created makeshift child out of seats with nylon rope teather. "Seatbelts please. Thank you!" The girls hadn't yet fastened their "safety belts" yet, but would need to, with Danny's erratic driving skills.
Danny Tanner peels out of the driveway, nearly hitting D.J.'s young friend Kimberly Gibbler. The audience cheers with laughter as Kimmy is caught off guard and crashes her banana-seat bicycle into the Tanner mailbox. Laugh track plays as Danny observes the incident through his rear-view mirror and remarks, "I'll deal with that shit when we get home." Danny darted down the interstate, passing cars in both the fast and slow lane, taking the second exit. Danny disregards the offramp stop sign and tears-ass into the Safeway parking lot's primo handicapped parking space. Danny hopped out of the van, opened the rear doors, took his daughters' leashes and marched them into the supermarket's seafood section. Danny lifts Michelle into a freezer "playpen" bin and instructed his two older daughters to "Keep an eye on this one, or else." Danny left the store in a rush, exiting to the right toward Jake's Liquor Store.
Steph opened a plastic container of imitation crab meat and dumped the liquid-solid mixture onto her younger sister's head. Michelle shivererd as she gripped the frost-laden freezer bin's outer edges, trying to hoist herself up a bit to see what was happening in the store.
A young boy of Steph's age had escaped his mother's kiddie harness and peeked over the opposite side of the bin, where Michelle and her sisters couldn't see him. Knowing that the young child was mentally crippled, he, like the Live Studio Audience found it humorous that tugging on the toddler's jumpsuit pajamas caused her to fall over. Michelle restored herself to the former standing position on side of the, but was tugged down a second time with greater force and began crying. The young boy ran away chuckling. Steph heard this and yelled "Hey I know you! You're Bobby Sherman! Wait up!" Steph darted off as onlookers watched the four-child spectacle happen around the freezer bin. D.J. yelled "Hey! Get back here!" and chased after the middle child, studio audience laughing. The shoppers' CNN-soaked minds quickly lost interest and didn't notice that Michelle had managed to climb out of the freezer bin. Michelle squandered her newly-gained freedom for several minutes picking up dust-bunnies from under the massive refrigerator with her cold numb hands and tasting them.
Danny soon returned from the liquor store, three shopping bags in hand. "Oh what the FUCK!" he roared as he saw the Michelle alone, sitting beside the receptacle. He heaved his daughter back into the frosty cell and went on a hunting trip for his other children. Not half a minute had elapsed before he heard the pitter-patter of two sets of feet. He spotted D.J. chasing her sister down the T.V. dinner aisle and quickly caught up, kicking D.J. square in the back as she grasped Steph's leash. Both girls fell to the floor hard as D.J. impacted with Steph. "You'll suffer the penalties when we get home, but you need to retrieve your sister RIGHT FUCKING NOW and get in the van before I beat you right here!" The two girls struggled to get the little tard out and were finally hauled off by their leashes toward the van moments later.
After crumbling and chucking the handicapped parking ticket that was under his winshield wiper, Danny drove home at a slower speed, obeying all traffic laws for the most part. He was very angry and was deciding on the punishment for his two oldest daughters. The show's scene-switching saxophone music plays as the scene fades into the Tanner residence backyard where Danny is supporting the lid of a metal box. "Your punishment, eighteen hours in the hot box! Your whore of a mother would be ashemed if she were still alive." he grinned maniacally as he shoved the girls into the homemade black spray painted hotbox in the noon sun.
Danny, being a reasonable father, went inside with Michelle on his left shoulder. He offloaded his youngest into her crib, and returned with a bottle containing an equal measure combination of Gordon's Gin and whole milk. The audience "Awwwws" as the child dozes off from the alcohol she consumed, and the scene fades into credits.
You fucking pinko GNU commies! Suck the crap out of my asshole!
Linux security (more holes than a Greek brothel) through obscurity (down-moderation.)
ha ha, China is still sucking my sore bunghole and spewing the diarrhea all over its girlfriend.
totally. I demand that we become more proactive too, more formaldehyde brain-injection birth-abortions for all! Sweet sweet transplants.
China sucks the juicy diarrhea from my puckering sore asshole and spits it all over its girlfriend.
Frodo was feeling tight in the pants, and needed the attention. Gandalf had been ignoring him for several days after catching the young hobbit with a carrot in his asshole. Gandalf had reprimanded the young hobbit by expressing his distaste for using vegetables, and not withered-old-wizard penis for anal intercourse. He had told the young hobbit that he was "a traitorous vegetablephyte" and had run off sobbing. Frodo barely acknowleged by saying "fuck off, bitter old queen." Gandalf was getting lonely and had blueballs, so decided to try and make right with the young hobbit. Gandalf put on the special elven [cock]ring, and burst down Frodo's door. Frodo's instant reaction was the bleating of "you marvelous old bastard! Fuck me in the ass!"
I always thought Cliff was homo...genoeous.
TheMonday morning after a weekend spent mostly at the VA Hospital with her mentally crippled sister depressed D.J. slightly. Uncle Joey passes by the unhinged door of D.J.'s room and says "You're sexually harrassing me with your eyes you little bitch, get your fuckin' ass out of bed, it's time for school. Cut It Out! No seriously, don't make me undress you." Uncle Joey departs licking his lips and heading downstairs. D.J. pulls the covers over her head drifts off into a recurrence of events sequence as the audience laugh track plays.
We're now observing the events of Saturday as D.J. is dreaming. D.J. is required by her father to use a specific routine each time her sister Michelle needs medical attention for asthma attacks and immunizations, of course Danny would never bother to to do this for his youngest offspring. However, D.J. does it reasonably well, albeit mostly slower than could be done through legitimate channels. On Saturday afternoon she arrived at the hospital, claiming to be a pre-teen runaway that lives in a dumpster with her retarded sister. As usual, a nurse promptly took the pair to the rear of the children's ward and had them stripped after administering a generic inhaler on Michelle. The nurse Juanita, a middle-aged heavy-set black woman asked with mild compassion "Good looooahhd, why you have this padlock on your puujammas?" D.J. had no reasonable reply, none that wouldn't wind her up in a worse abusive foster home again, so lied and said she did not know. "Don' you worry tho', I gots a pair of bolt cuttahs near the crazy ward, I will be right back yungins." Juanita returned shortly with bolt cutters and cut the lock off of the homemade fabric secure.
Juanita said quickly, "You know the drill" as she surprised the two sisters with a forceful, icy burst from a garden hose; laugh track applauding as the girls squirmed in frozen discomfort. Juanita threw soaps at the girls. Juanita exlaimed in disbelief, "Mercy D.J., you have a mighty serious case of jock itch for a chile of yo' age!" Michelle didn't know what to make of the soap, so bit off a tiny piece. Michelle, like most retards, reacted in a heavily emotional manner to the bitter taste in her mouth as she began to foam, and swallowed most of it on accident. Juanita exlaimed "Good loahhhd," and directed the hose stream square into the tard's open whiney mouth, knocking her onto her naked ass as the laugh track reched climax. D.J. was nearly finished washing herself, and let her idiot-child sibling struggle against Juanita's hose current, bawling as full volume while Juanita chuckled heartily at the reaction she had induced.
D.J. dried herself off and watched Juanita deliver the thick stream of water at Michelle's tiny hindquarters; pushing her along the slick tiled floor with a white nurse's shoe. Several minutes later Juanita dried Michelle off, sat her down on an examination table and administered a Polio immunization. The tard showed signs of discomfort, but was met with a swift slap to the head by Juanita in anticipation. Juanita remarked "Don't you be lettin' that chile cry in this hospital room!" Michelle sat stunned; cross-eyed as the laugh track played. "Time to see what chile welfare can do about a foster home fo' you kids," Juanita said as she left the exam room. D.J. picked up her little sister and snuck past the front desk of the hospital and left the building, bare asses visible through the rear of their hospital gowns as the sequence of occurance faded out with the laugh track playing in the background.
Danny was walking past his daughter's room and noticed that she was still sleeping. Danny took off his leather belt, halved it, placed the folded end in his palm and savagely began to beat his daughter with the buckle end of the belt, screaming "Your Uncle Joey *thwap* told your ass to *thwap* get out of *thwap* bed! You remind me of your dead mother, useless, may she burn in hell! Get out of bed!" Danny Tanner put his belt back on, buckled it, took something out of his pocket wrapped in a Burger King hamburger paper wrapper and threw it at his daugher. "Here's breakfast, be careful of the extra 'surprise' I've included," Danny said as he left in the hall chuckling snidely with the studio audience. D.J. unwrapped a half- eaten BK Whopper that had been in Danny's left pocket for several days and ate it greedily, dabbing at some ketchup on a snotty kleenex that was wrapped with the burger. The scene closes with the credits rolling over a freeze-frame of D.J.'s face immediately after having seen the repulsive kleenex with about a teaspoon worth of yellow phlegm.
TheMonday morning after a weekend spent mostly at the VA Hospital with her mentally crippled sister depressed D.J. slightly. Uncle Joey passes by the unhinged door of D.J.'s room and says "You're sexually harrassing me with your eyes you little bitch, get your fuckin' ass out of bed, it's time for school. Cut It Out! No seriously, don't make me undress you." Uncle Joey departs licking his lips and heading downstairs. D.J. pulls the covers over her head drifts off into a recurrence of events sequence as the audience laugh track plays.
We're now observing the events of Saturday as D.J. is dreaming. D.J. is required by her father to use a specific routine each time her sister Michelle needs medical attention for asthma attacks and immunizations, of course Danny would never bother to to do this for his youngest offspring. However, D.J. does it reasonably well, albeit mostly slower than could be done through legitimate channels. On Saturday afternoon she arrived at the hospital, claiming to be a pre-teen runaway that lives in a dumpster with her retarded sister. As usual, a nurse promptly took the pair to the rear of the children's ward and had them stripped after administering a generic inhaler on Michelle. The nurse Juanita, a middle-aged heavy-set black woman asked with mild compassion "Good looooahhd, why you have this padlock on your puujammas?" D.J. had no reasonable reply, none that wouldn't wind her up in a worse abusive foster home again, so lied and said she did not know. "Don' you worry tho', I gots a pair of bolt cuttahs near the crazy ward, I will be right back yungins." Juanita returned shortly with bolt cutters and cut the lock off of the homemade fabric secure.
Juanita said quickly, "You know the drill" as she surprised the two sisters with a forceful, icy burst from a garden hose; laugh track applauding as the girls squirmed in frozen discomfort. Juanita threw soaps at the girls. Juanita exlaimed in disbelief, "Mercy D.J., you have a mighty serious case of jock itch for a chile of yo' age!" Michelle didn't know what to make of the soap, so bit off a tiny piece. Michelle, like most retards, reacted in a heavily emotional manner to the bitter taste in her mouth as she began to foam, and swallowed most of it on accident. Juanita exlaimed "Good loahhhd," and directed the hose stream square into the tard's open whiney mouth, knocking her onto her naked ass as the laugh track reched climax. D.J. was nearly finished washing herself, and let her idiot-child sibling struggle against Juanita's hose current, bawling as full volume while Juanita chuckled heartily at the reaction she had induced.
D.J. dried herself off and watched Juanita deliver the thick stream of water at Michelle's tiny hindquarters; pushing her along the slick tiled floor with a white nurse's shoe. Several minutes later Juanita dried Michelle off, sat her down on an examination table and administered a Polio immunization. The tard showed signs of discomfort, but was met with a swift slap to the head by Juanita in anticipation. Juanita remarked "Don't you be lettin' that chile cry in this hospital room!" Michelle sat stunned; cross-eyed as the laugh track played. "Time to see what chile welfare can do about a foster home fo' you kids," Juanita said as she left the exam room. D.J. picked up her little sister and snuck past the front desk of the hospital and left the building, bare asses visible through the rear of their hospital gowns as the sequence of occurance faded out with the laugh track playing in the background.
Danny was walking past his daughter's room and noticed that she was still sleeping. Danny took off his leather belt, halved it, placed the folded end in his palm and savagely began to beat his daughter with the buckle end of the belt, screaming "Your Uncle Joey *thwap* told your ass to *thwap* get out of *thwap* bed! You remind me of your dead mother, useless, may she burn in hell! Get out of bed!" Danny Tanner put his belt back on, buckled it, took something out of his pocket wrapped in a Burger King hamburger paper wrapper and threw it at his daugher. "Here's breakfast, be careful of the extra 'surprise' I've included," Danny said as he left in the hall chuckling snidely with the studio audience. D.J. unwrapped a half- eaten BK Whopper that had been in Danny's left pocket for several days and ate it greedily, dabbing at some ketchup on a snotty kleenex that was wrapped with the burger. The scene closes with the credits rolling over a freeze-frame of D.J.'s face immediately after having seen the repulsive kleenex with about a teaspoon worth of yellow phlegm.
TheMonday morning after a weekend spent mostly at the VA Hospital with her mentally crippled sister depressed D.J. slightly. Uncle Joey passes by the unhinged door of D.J.'s room and says "You're sexually harrassing me with your eyes you little bitch, get your fuckin' ass out of bed, it's time for school. Cut It Out! No seriously, don't make me undress you." Uncle Joey departs licking his lips and heading downstairs. D.J. pulls the covers over her head drifts off into a recurrence of events sequence as the audience laugh track plays.
We're now observing the events of Saturday as D.J. is dreaming. D.J. is required by her father to use a specific routine each time her sister Michelle needs medical attention for asthma attacks and immunizations, of course Danny would never bother to to do this for his youngest offspring. However, D.J. does it reasonably well, albeit mostly slower than could be done through legitimate channels. On Saturday afternoon she arrived at the hospital, claiming to be a pre-teen runaway that lives in a dumpster with her retarded sister. As usual, a nurse promptly took the pair to the rear of the children's ward and had them stripped after administering a generic inhaler on Michelle. The nurse Juanita, a middle-aged heavy-set black woman asked with mild compassion "Good looooahhd, why you have this padlock on your puujammas?" D.J. had no reasonable reply, none that wouldn't wind her up in a worse abusive foster home again, so lied and said she did not know. "Don' you worry tho', I gots a pair of bolt cuttahs near the crazy ward, I will be right back yungins." Juanita returned shortly with bolt cutters and cut the lock off of the homemade fabric secure.
Juanita said quickly, "You know the drill" as she surprised the two sisters with a forceful, icy burst from a garden hose; laugh track applauding as the girls squirmed in frozen discomfort. Juanita threw soaps at the girls. Juanita exlaimed in disbelief, "Mercy D.J., you have a mighty serious case of jock itch for a chile of yo' age!" Michelle didn't know what to make of the soap, so bit off a tiny piece. Michelle, like most retards, reacted in a heavily emotional manner to the bitter taste in her mouth as she began to foam, and swallowed most of it on accident. Juanita exlaimed "Good loahhhd," and directed the hose stream square into the tard's open whiney mouth, knocking her onto her naked ass as the laugh track reched climax. D.J. was nearly finished washing herself, and let her idiot-child sibling struggle against Juanita's hose current, bawling as full volume while Juanita chuckled heartily at the reaction she had induced.
D.J. dried herself off and watched Juanita deliver the thick stream of water at Michelle's tiny hindquarters; pushing her along the slick tiled floor with a white nurse's shoe. Several minutes later Juanita dried Michelle off, sat her down on an examination table and administered a Polio immunization. The tard showed signs of discomfort, but was met with a swift slap to the head by Juanita in anticipation. Juanita remarked "Don't you be lettin' that chile cry in this hospital room!" Michelle sat stunned; cross-eyed as the laugh track played. "Time to see what chile welfare can do about a foster home fo' you kids," Juanita said as she left the exam room. D.J. picked up her little sister and snuck past the front desk of the hospital and left the building, bare asses visible through the rear of their hospital gowns as the sequence of occurance faded out with the laugh track playing in the background.
Danny was walking past his daughter's room and noticed that she was still sleeping. Danny took off his leather belt, halved it, placed the folded end in his palm and savagely began to beat his daughter with the buckle end of the belt, screaming "Your Uncle Joey *thwap* told your ass to *thwap* get out of *thwap* bed! You remind me of your dead mother, useless, may she burn in hell! Get out of bed!" Danny Tanner put his belt back on, buckled it, took something out of his pocket wrapped in a Burger King hamburger paper wrapper and threw it at his daugher. "Here's breakfast, be careful of the extra 'surprise' I've included," Danny said as he left in the hall chuckling snidely with the studio audience. D.J. unwrapped a half- eaten BK Whopper that had been in Danny's left pocket for several days and ate it greedily, dabbing at some ketchup on a snotty kleenex that was wrapped with the burger. The scene closes with the credits rolling over a freeze-frame of D.J.'s face immediately after having seen the repulsive kleenex with about a teaspoon worth of yellow phlegm.
..however, my stories usually just come to me. In other news, the fucking slashfags just knocked me down from -5 karma to -8. Fuckholes. Somebody with a wad of karma and a vendetta is now my enemy. Furthermore, I'm IP banned once again.
I find it sort of funny that this /. article has the brown-and-yellow color scheme.
New story, hot off the presses, two posts under this. Also in my journal!
TheMonday morning after a weekend spent mostly at the VA Hospital with her mentally crippled sister depressed D.J. slightly. Uncle Joey passes by the unhinged door of D.J.'s room and says "You're sexually harrassing me with your eyes you little bitch, get your fuckin' ass out of bed, it's time for school. Cut It Out! No seriously, don't make me undress you." Uncle Joey departs licking his lips and heading downstairs. D.J. pulls the covers over her head drifts off into a recurrence of events sequence as the audience laugh track plays.
We're now observing the events of Saturday as D.J. is dreaming. D.J. is required by her father to use a specific routine each time her sister Michelle needs medical attention for asthma attacks and immunizations, of course Danny would never bother to to do this for his youngest offspring. However, D.J. does it reasonably well, albeit mostly slower than could be done through legitimate channels. On Saturday afternoon she arrived at the hospital, claiming to be a pre-teen runaway that lives in a dumpster with her retarded sister. As usual, a nurse promptly took the pair to the rear of the children's ward and had them stripped after administering a generic inhaler on Michelle. The nurse Juanita, a middle-aged heavy-set black woman asked with mild compassion "Good looooahhd, why you have this padlock on your puujammas?" D.J. had no reasonable reply, none that wouldn't wind her up in a worse abusive foster home again, so lied and said she did not know. "Don' you worry tho', I gots a pair of bolt cuttahs near the crazy ward, I will be right back yungins." Juanita returned shortly with bolt cutters and cut the lock off of the homemade fabric secure.
Juanita said quickly, "You know the drill" as she surprised the two sisters with a forceful, icy burst from a garden hose; laugh track applauding as the girls squirmed in frozen discomfort. Juanita threw soaps at the girls. Juanita exlaimed in disbelief, "Mercy D.J., you have a mighty serious case of jock itch for a chile of yo' age!" Michelle didn't know what to make of the soap, so bit off a tiny piece. Michelle, like most retards, reacted in a heavily emotional manner to the bitter taste in her mouth as she began to foam, and swallowed most of it on accident. Juanita exlaimed "Good loahhhd," and directed the hose stream square into the tard's open whiney mouth, knocking her onto her naked ass as the laugh track reched climax. D.J. was nearly finished washing herself, and let her idiot-child sibling struggle against Juanita's hose current, bawling as full volume while Juanita chuckled heartily at the reaction she had induced.
D.J. dried herself off and watched Juanita deliver the thick stream of water at Michelle's tiny hindquarters; pushing her along the slick tiled floor with a white nurse's shoe. Several minutes later Juanita dried Michelle off, sat her down on an examination table and administered a Polio immunization. The tard showed signs of discomfort, but was met with a swift slap to the head by Juanita in anticipation. Juanita remarked "Don't you be lettin' that chile cry in this hospital room!" Michelle sat stunned; cross-eyed as the laugh track played. "Time to see what chile welfare can do about a foster home fo' you kids," Juanita said as she left the exam room. D.J. picked up her little sister and snuck past the front desk of the hospital and left the building, bare asses visible through the rear of their hospital gowns as the sequence of occurance faded out with the laugh track playing in the background.
Danny was walking past his daughter's room and noticed that she was still sleeping. Danny took off his leather belt, halved it, placed the folded end in his palm and savagely began to beat his daughter with the buckle end of the belt, screaming "Your Uncle Joey *thwap* told your ass to *thwap* get out of * thwap* bed! You remind me of your dead mother, useless, may she burn in hell! Get out of bed!" Danny Tanner put his belt back on, buckled it, took something out of his pocket wrapped in a Burger King hamburger paper wrapper and threw it at his daugher. "Here's breakfast, be careful of the extra 'surprise' I've included," Danny said as he left in the hall chuckling snidely with the studio audience. D.J. unwrapped a half-eaten BK Whopper that had been in Danny's left pocket for several days and ate it greedily, dabbing at some ketchup on a snotty kleenex that was wrapped with the burger. The scene closes with the credits rolling over a freeze-frame of D.J.'s face immediately after having seen the repulsive kleenex with about a teaspoon worth of yellow phlegm.
Cause if you is, us crackas can sa-bo-tage your sweet raaahd with a gastank full o' sugar!!! Yee haw!
claim responsibility, we're curious!!
--Weenus
Check my journal and Trollaxor.com when it comes back online. I thank you for your interest in my work.
--Weenus