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User: paiute

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Comments · 2,289

  1. When knowing about holes is a crime.... on Blackboard Campus IDs: Security Thru Cease & Desist · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    J00 ThINk TH3 DMC@ sl0W$ dOWn l33t HAcK3R5 L1K3 u$? w3 d0n'T NeeD NO 5+1Nk1N9 lAwY3R5! we 0WNzOr 4LL J00R c0K3 m@cHinE5!

  2. What if all your friends.... on Microsoft Also Wants Universal Music? · · Score: 3, Funny

    Apple: (Stands of side of bridge, pretends to jump)

    Microsoft: AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. WTF? on Pinnacle, Online Grades, Skipping School and More · · Score: 2, Funny

    What kind of grades are these?

    "i 0WNz0r All j00R 9R4De5, j00 w4nK1N9 PiMPL3 P3+r1e diShES!!!3LE+3 H@X0R "

    I'm writing a stern note to the principal.

  4. My demands are simple if she is truly a patriot on Do Privacy Fears Allow Terrorism? · · Score: 1

    I want to see Ms. MacDonald's bank statements.

    Why not? What is she hiding?

    I want to see her credit report.

    Why not? What is she hiding?

    I want to put a camera in her bedroom.

    Why not? What is she hiding?

    I want her under constant surveillance.

    Why not? What is she hiding?

  5. New Chevy slogan on Would Free Music Sell Cars? · · Score: 2, Funny

    Rip. Burn. Walk.

  6. First words were? on 30 Years of Cell Phone Calls · · Score: 1

    To his rival: "Dr. Watson, don't come here. I don't want you."

  7. I saw his resume on Photographer Fired For Digitally Altering Photo · · Score: 1

    and he had done the goatse pic. I knew that wasn't physiologically possible!!

  8. sandstorm? on Contractor Proposes Laser Rifles for US Military · · Score: 1

    Let's see. I've got a $100,000 laser rifle and I'm being attacked attacked by a towelhead with a scimitar. In a sandstorm. Thanks, Rummy.

  9. Miranda? Had to lay her off. on Don't Worry, We're Not From The Government · · Score: 4, Insightful

    An interesting Constitutional question - when Bush privatizes every government function, will the private contractors be bound by the same restrictions as is a governmental body? When private cops arrest you, do they need due cause? Do you get your rights read to you? Do you get to see a lawyer? Can they beat information out of you?

    Chief Justice Thomas won't have a problem with that - it's not strictly proscribed, so let it rip!

  10. Meteors? That's the least of our problems! on Meteor Over Midwest · · Score: 1

    Who cares about rocks? I never been hit by no rock from outer space. I just found out that there's these neutrino thingys that are busting me up, a trillion a second. That's Mother Nature popping a bad cap in my ass! I want me a neutrino shield.

  11. You are under arrest for violating law of nature on More on Lenses with a Negative Index of Refraction · · Score: 1

    Come on. You don't "transcend" the laws of nature. You rewrite the laws (theories) of man.

  12. I'm Emeritus! on Microsoft To Teach Undergrads About Secure Computing · · Score: 1

    Hey, everybody! University of Leeds just signed me to teach Teetotalism!

  13. Not so fast! on Linux Enhances Shakespeare · · Score: 5, Funny

    This just in - the US Congress today extended copyright protection back to "three business days before the Earth coalesced from the formless void", so the laywer representing the descendants of the Bard will be calling on these IP pirates and terrorists this afternoon with the mother of all cease-and-desist orders.

  14. Another for the list on Dvorak Thinks Apple Will Switch to Intel · · Score: 1

    Apple will switch to Intel chips
    Microsoft will become open source
    Apple will become a software company
    People will pay to send email
    The air will be made of chocolate

  15. A Democratic Iraq on Major Strike on Iraq Underway · · Score: 1

    Yeah, kill Saddam and all the evil Sunnis who have been torturing the Shiite majority for decades. The we can have a good old American-style one-man-one-vote election. The early favorite in that would be the spiritual leader of the Iraqi Shiites - Ayatollah Muhammad Bakr al-Hakim, now in exile in Iran.

    Great plan, George!

    Unless we mean a good old American one-man-one-vote Florida style.

  16. IT'S NOT A WAR, DAMN IT on Satellite Access in Time of War · · Score: 2, Informative

    A state of war exists when Congress passes a delaration of war.

  17. = pot? on Texas Rep Wants To Jail File Traders · · Score: 1

    Hey, where I grew up, possession of a joint was a felony. Worked real well, dude. Pass me that tray of brownies, man.

  18. Page Smith on A New Approach to Teaching Science · · Score: 1

    Speaking of rewriting, let me pause to urge you to read the late Page Smith's revisitation of American history in eight volumes. You don't know America until you have read this series:
    http://members.aol.com/jamietampa/Smith/b ooks.html

  19. And what was with that ending? on Spider-Man Has Back Problems · · Score: 1

    I mean, come on - any half-decent supervillian is going to know they are friends and kidnap her anyway. So he might as well be banging her four times (once per set of legs) to Sunday. You know, keep your friends close and your beautiful supermodel nemesis even closer.

  20. You're in trouble on Peter Molyneux Asks For Gov't Help For Small Shops · · Score: 1

    Reminds me of the old financial adage directed at a lender: "Loan me a thousand bucks, and I'm in trouble. Loan me a million bucks, and you're in trouble." Ported to the problem at hand, it might become a political adage directed to an elected official "A ten-employee business in your district is losing money, and it's in trouble. A ten thousand-employee business in your district is losing money, and you're in trouble."

  21. only slightly off topic on Seven Rules For Spotting Bogus Science · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    You hear all the time about skies being injured by sliding into trees, and you are tempted to think "In Soviet Union, trees run into you!" ? Well, Bob Park was joggin (in the US) one day, and a big old oak tree fell on him.

  22. Deja vu again and again echo repeat on The Space Elevator · · Score: 1

    Payloads into orbit every other day? $/lb low, lower, lowest? Routine access to earth orbit? Where have we heard that before?

  23. Loophole alert on Cornucopia of Spam · · Score: 4, Funny

    Political speech is exempted. Advertising of the "call X and tell him that you are against his position on Y" is protected free speech. So expect emails of the sort: "Call Senator McGuffy and tell him that his penis can be enlarged in only three weeks!"

  24. Re:Wait a minute on Ozone As Pesticide · · Score: 1

    This will worry me the day I have a bowl of toilet tissue for breakfast.

  25. Wait a minute on Ozone As Pesticide · · Score: 2, Insightful

    This is not necessarily a wonderful development. Ozone is a very chemically reactive molecule. Introduced into a grain silo, it is not going to be selective. It will not seek out bugs and pests first. What it will do is react with the organic molecules in the grain - generating all kinds of degradation products, many of which are going to be toxic, mutagenic, teratogenic, etc. Is that a good tradeoff for a few fewer beetle legs in your Cheerios?

    n.b.: I buy Marcal paper goods, because they are trying to recycle and whiten their paper products using as many non-chlorinated oxidizing chemicals as they can. The paper industries use of chlorine and hypochlorite is a major source of the organochlorines in the environment.