"...blogger extraordinaire and all around tech visionary really, really gets it."
He's about as "tech visionary" as the cheesy buildup under my farmer's hat. Seriously, Slashdot has got to stop with the hero worship bullshit. It's tedious, predictable and fucking pathetic.
Thing is that this is exactly the right place for this review. Most Slashbots are not interested in getting laid and getting drunk as they already have a date with a box of penguin caffeinated mints and sweet lady hand with her five daughters. Also, never forget that Slashdot is not the uber-geek haven it makes itself out to be. Most readers are only here on the the "Oooooh! Open Source! That sounds cool!" bandwagon, so a book like this is probably much needed as their actual technical prowess probably couldn't get the VCR to cease flashing 12:00.
A Bruce Perens article on Slashdot is a bit like Guy Fawkes Night. Lots of stupid geeks standing around with a gormless look on their faces going "ooooooooh..... aaaaaaaahhhh...."
Could we please have something mildly interesting, oooh, I don't know. Let's say someone has taken a WonderSwan colour and a WonderWitch development kit, translated all the software and manuals into English, posted plans on how to modify the WonderWitch cable to hook up to a serial port on an SGI Octane, developed the appropriate drivers and software for IRIX, and then after all that takes the time to provide all the documentation in HTML, PDF and Swahili. And then started working on a GP32->Wonderswan link cable and games to run on each system. Now THAT would be an interesting read.
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started...
In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN! GO ON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!
"Hi. Yeah. Erm, what the hell are 'boxen', 'VAXen', 'OSen' and 'Virii'?"
"These are mystical non-words, which have been conjured up by stupid wankers wanting to appear hip, cool and intellectual. Nothing to see here. Please move along."
"Why is everyone so against Microsoft? And what is up with that dollar sign?"
"Welcome to Slashdot. Much in the same way that one dog sniffs another's ass to evaluate that individual, so is this practice of marking your grounds of viewpoint. Think of it as a Linux user bending over and farting - It is all about making their views heard.
"Who is Junis?"
"The most legendary troll ever to grace the pages of Slashdot. Not only was a Slashdot editor duped into posting a complete article on the opression of Kabul's geeks, but it also spawned a veritable banquet of new trolling material (such as optimum temperatures for storing Commodore hardware buried under chicken huts and the abundance of DivX Baywatch episodes)"
"What is 'YHBT. YHL. HAND.'? I see it everywhere!"
"This is commonly seen in comments sections after a pathetic Slashboteer or paranoid YRO fanatic has been suckered into replying to a finely crafted piece of literary genius."
"Why the hell would someone want to re-program some obscure electronic device that is no longer produced?"
"Many cock-smoking Slashdot users like to claim that it is 'because they can'. In fact, it boils down to 'because I've got nothing else better to do'. These are normally the same people who think that their university attendance made them technical gods and everyone else is worthless."
"I recently saw an article on programming, and lots of people posted code snippets. Problem is, most of it was wrong. Why is that?"
"A high percentage of Slashdot users are still in university, and think that after day 1 of 'Introduction to C' that they are ready to code embedded systems for Boeing or Raytheon . They spend endless hours posting about how they've hacked device x, when in fact all they've done is downloaded the SDK, bragged about 16-bit bus register cron-job front side bus accumulators and watched 'Anti-Trust' for the 797th time."
If you'd like to make a contribution to the FAQ, post a reply or e-mail this 3l337 h@x0r
Hey Slashboteers! Are you finishing university? *STILL* unemployed after the dot com layoffs? Well, have we got the answer for you! Chief Executive Officer Rob Madla and SS Officer Michael Sims invite you to join them at the Black River Public School in Holland, Michigan from the 10th of August for the SLASHDOT SUMMER CAMP. Three full days of pony rides, coding and male bonding. Special Appearances by NAMBLA Grand Wizard Katz with his partner Wai Tu Yung.
Activities include:
Bouncy 'CowboyNeal' Castle - Pick a cheek and jump, bitch!
Salami Slam - Jon Katz's unusual variation of naked leapfrog.
Anime Association - Sit around with CmdrTaco and watch Anime with no subtitles or dubbing and pretend to know what's going on. Free Juice.
Advanced Kernel Hacking - Workshop on changing printf() statements and then re-compiling to make it look like you're 3ll37. Hosted by Alan Cox.
Masters of Perl - Jamie shows you how NOT to code by demonstrating the latest version of Slash.
Delusional Paranoia 101 - How to quote 1984 and Franklin for your YRO posts.
The Great Penguin Push - Instructional piece on cramming penguin plush toys into tight spaces.
DivX for the C64 - Featuring our guest speaker "Junis".
Tickets are US$90 each, and the event lasts for three days. For more information, or to book a place, contact CmdrTaco
Terms & Conditions:
Spaces are limited to how many people we can lock in a basement. Camp is open to males aged between 12 and 19. No soap is allowed on the premises. CmdrTaco's Jubei cabinet is not to be used as a simulated coffin for sex games without his involvement.
1. Go here. Buy a net4801, a case, flash card and power supply for a few hundred dollars. Alternatively, an old 486 with some quality Intel/3COM NICs from your local 2nd-hand shop.
Trolling aside, Linux has got its places but if you want to do things right in a scenario such as the one you describe, OpenBSD is the only smart choice.
Slashdot to English Translator-Matic
on
PHP 5 RC 1 released
·
· Score: -1, Funny
1st Official Slashdot to English Translator-matic
"There's a sourceforge project creating just what you're looking
for..."
"Me and a bunch of people got drunk, thought we could code, submitted the
idea and produced a fancy web page. It's now two years later and the project
has no files to download and is STILL on Stage 1, Planning."
"That's the beauty of UNIX - Lots of little tools which can be used
together. Far more flexible!"
"I've been reading UNIX in a Nutshell for SVR4 and fucks knows what any of
this flags stuff is about"
"Linux is far more secure than Windows. My box has never been
hacked."
"I can install Red Hat from a bootable CD. The machine is not connected to a
network and all I do all day is type ps, pwd and ls. I'm so l33t."
"You might want to try going to college and learning about this
stuff!"
"My folks are rich enough to send me off for further education. I am now in
an uber-elite crowd of know-it-alls and I am here to belittle you. Fear me."
"Microsoft products are soooo insecure!"
"I've spent the last two years being subjected to biased slashdot
propaganda. I couldn't hack into a properly configured windows system if my
life depended on it."
"We should file an antitrust lawsuit against Sony"
"I've spent far too much time absorbing bullshit ideals from anarchists. The truth of the matter is, I just don't want to pay for anything whatsoever. Britney CDs should be free because I think that somehow the constitution protects my illegal copying and distribution under some freedom of speech law or fair use act. Even though I don't have to go out and buy luxury items, I'm gonna whinge and bitch anyway"
"Have you considered using Linux?"
"I've only been using it for a week, and now my hardcore wannabe techno friends think I'm a guru. I now recommend it to everybody based upon what I've read at slashdot."
"Don't you find that parsing this bitset through the compliation alogirithm that is piped out through GCC on a command line echo really works well for logarithmically sound sine wave matcher?"
"Somebody please shoot me several times in the head. I am fucking clueless."
"If they join all the state drivers licence databases together, they'll be able to track me! How do I change my identity?"
"I'm too fucking dense to realise that this has been going on for over 15 years already, and I've just finished reading 1984. Go figure."
*sigh* drool oooh shiny. LAMENESS ALERT.
on
The Bionic Office
·
· Score: -1, Flamebait
"Read about what went into the design of "the ultimate software development environment" from your (my) cube and drool."
And that is why the unwashed, pathetic virgins of Slashdot are Morbo's "Vermin of the Week".
"...if you are a unix/linux admin, then Windows to you should be very clear and straight forward."
That is total bollocks and you know it. I'd like to see someone who knows Exim and Postfix walk into an clustered Exchange 2000 site and hit the ground running. Yet more FUD from the "I know *NIX so therefore I know everything" crowd.
Maybe because there is something quite satisfying in seeing a know-it-all "I'm so bloody wonderful, look at my over-inflated opinion of my intellect" Slashbot embarrass themselves with a poorly designed homepage. If you really are so expert in English and feel it your duty to correct someone else's usage, make damn sure your own 5kb of ego-boosting homepage crap is absolutely accurate first.
"People here haven't decided if he's a karma-whore, troll, or bi-polar."
Either way, he probably spends most Sundays choking on Katz's rod.
Actually, I've noticed a distinct lack of homo-erotic Slashteam fan fiction recently. Oh how I miss daily updates from The Turd Report, blatant offtopic racism from Trollaxor and beautiful page widening from Klerck. Those were the glory days of trolling.
I tried syncing my palm with this obscure OS and ended up losing my watch and wedding ring. I'm still waiting for The Giver to fish them out and return them to me.
"...Slashdot will be shut down for aiding Terrorists, and CmdrTaco and crew will sit in a cell down in Cuba..."
Well, come on then! I'm sure that the Slashteam are quite used to being tied up on racks and humiliated.... Christ, normally they have to pay for the priviledge!
Hey Slashboteers! Are you finishing university? *STILL* unemployed after the dot com layoffs? Well, have we got the answer for you! Chief Executive Officer Rob Madla and SS Officer Michael Sims invite you to join them at the Black River Public School in Holland, Michigan from the 10th of August for the SLASHDOT SUMMER CAMP. Three full days of pony rides, coding and male bonding. Special Appearances by NAMBLA Grand Wizard Katz with his partner Wai Tu Yung.
Activities include:
Bouncy 'CowboyNeal' Castle - Pick a cheek and jump, bitch!
Salami Slam - Jon Katz's unusual variation of naked leapfrog.
Anime Association - Sit around with CmdrTaco and watch Anime with no subtitles or dubbing and pretend to know what's going on. Free Juice.
Advanced Kernel Hacking - Workshop on changing printf() statements and then re-compiling to make it look like you're 3ll37. Hosted by Alan Cox.
Masters of Perl - Jamie shows you how NOT to code by demonstrating the latest version of Slash.
Delusional Paranoia 101 - How to quote 1984 and Franklin for your YRO posts.
The Great Penguin Push - Instructional piece on cramming penguin plush toys into tight spaces.
DivX for the C64 - Featuring our guest speaker "Junis".
Tickets are US$90 each, and the event lasts for three days. For more information, or to book a place, contact CmdrTaco [mailto]
Terms & Conditions:
Spaces are limited to how many people we can lock in a basement. Camp is open to males aged between 12 and 19. No soap is allowed on the premises. CmdrTaco's Jubei cabinet is not to be used as a simulated coffin for sex games without his involvement.
Hey Slashboteers! Are you finishing university? *STILL* unemployed after the dot com layoffs? Well, have we got the answer for you! Chief Executive Officer Rob Madla and SS Officer Michael Sims invite you to join them at the Black River Public School in Holland, Michigan from the 10th of August for the SLASHDOT SUMMER CAMP. Three full days of pony rides, coding and male bonding. Special Appearances by NAMBLA Grand Wizard Katz with his partner Wai Tu Yung.
Activities include:
Bouncy 'CowboyNeal' Castle - Pick a cheek and jump, bitch!
Salami Slam - Jon Katz's unusual variation of naked leapfrog.
Anime Association - Sit around with CmdrTaco and watch Anime with no subtitles or dubbing and pretend to know what's going on. Free Juice.
Advanced Kernel Hacking - Workshop on changing printf() statements and then re-compiling to make it look like you're 3ll37. Hosted by Alan Cox.
Masters of Perl - Jamie shows you how NOT to code by demonstrating the latest version of Slash.
Delusional Paranoia 101 - How to quote 1984 and Franklin for your YRO posts.
The Great Penguin Push - Instructional piece on cramming penguin plush toys into tight spaces.
DivX for the C64 - Featuring our guest speaker "Junis".
Tickets are US$90 each, and the event lasts for three days. For more information, or to book a place, contact CmdrTaco
Terms & Conditions:
Spaces are limited to how many people we can lock in a basement. Camp is open to males aged between 12 and 19. No soap is allowed on the premises. CmdrTaco's Jubei cabinet is not to be used as a simulated coffin for sex games without his involvement.
"There's a sourceforge project creating just what you're looking
for..."
"Me and a bunch of people got drunk, thought we could code, submitted the
idea and produced a fancy web page. It's now two years later and the project
has no files to download and is STILL on Stage 1, Planning."
"That's the beauty of UNIX - Lots of little tools which can be used
together. Far more flexible!"
"I've been reading UNIX in a Nutshell for SVR4 and fucks knows what any of
this flags stuff is about"
"Linux is far more secure than Windows. My box has never been
hacked."
"I can install Red Hat from a bootable CD. The machine is not connected to a
network and all I do all day is type ps, pwd and ls. I'm so l33t."
"You might want to try going to college and learning about this
stuff!"
"My folks are rich enough to send me off for further education. I am now in
an uber-elite crowd of know-it-alls and I am here to belittle you. Fear me."
"Microsoft products are soooo insecure!"
"I've spent the last two years being subjected to biased slashdot
propaganda. I couldn't hack into a properly configured windows system if my
life depended on it."
"We should file an antitrust lawsuit against Sony"
"I've spent far too much time absorbing bullshit ideals from anarchists. The truth of the matter is, I just don't want to pay for anything whatsoever. Britney CDs should be free because I think that somehow the constitution protects my illegal copying and distribution under some freedom of speech law or fair use act. Even though I don't have to go out and buy luxury items, I'm gonna whinge and bitch anyway"
"Have you considered using Linux?"
"I've only been using it for a week, and now my hardcore wannabe techno friends think I'm a guru. I now recommend it to everybody based upon what I've read at slashdot."
"Don't you find that parsing this bitset through the compliation alogirithm that is piped out through GCC on a command line echo really works well for logarithmically sound sine wave matcher?"
"Somebody please shoot me several times in the head. I am fucking clueless."
"If they join all the state drivers licence databases together, they'll be able to track me! How do I change my identity?"
"I'm too fucking dense to realise that this has been going on for over 15 years already, and I've just finished reading 1984. Go figure."
Slashdot Mirror
"...blogger extraordinaire and all around tech visionary really, really gets it."
He's about as "tech visionary" as the cheesy buildup under my farmer's hat. Seriously, Slashdot has got to stop with the hero worship bullshit. It's tedious, predictable and fucking pathetic.
Thing is that this is exactly the right place for this review. Most Slashbots are not interested in getting laid and getting drunk as they already have a date with a box of penguin caffeinated mints and sweet lady hand with her five daughters. Also, never forget that Slashdot is not the uber-geek haven it makes itself out to be. Most readers are only here on the the "Oooooh! Open Source! That sounds cool!" bandwagon, so a book like this is probably much needed as their actual technical prowess probably couldn't get the VCR to cease flashing 12:00.
To hell with the lot of you.
SCO blows. Yes, we know.
Could we please have something mildly interesting, oooh, I don't know. Let's say someone has taken a WonderSwan colour and a WonderWitch development kit, translated all the software and manuals into English, posted plans on how to modify the WonderWitch cable to hook up to a serial port on an SGI Octane, developed the appropriate drivers and software for IRIX, and then after all that takes the time to provide all the documentation in HTML, PDF and Swahili. And then started working on a GP32->Wonderswan link cable and games to run on each system. Now THAT would be an interesting read.
Slashdotters, SUCK MY COCK.
HAND.
Surprisingly, Microsoft give a list of Linux support tools for use with their "Services For UNIX" software.
"from the use-ogg-too-but-how dept."
Urrrrgh. It's like a Kif Kroker sigh of despair.
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started...
In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN! GO ON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!
Unofficial Slashdot FAQ
By ReluctantBadger
- "Hi. Yeah. Erm, what the hell are 'boxen', 'VAXen', 'OSen' and 'Virii'?"
- "Why is everyone so against Microsoft? And what is up with that dollar sign?"
- "Who is Junis?"
- "What is 'YHBT. YHL. HAND.'? I see it everywhere!"
- "Why the hell would someone want to re-program some obscure electronic device that is no longer produced?"
- "I recently saw an article on programming, and lots of people posted code snippets. Problem is, most of it was wrong. Why is that?"
If you'd like to make a contribution to the FAQ, post a reply or e-mail this 3l337 h@x0r"These are mystical non-words, which have been conjured up by stupid wankers wanting to appear hip, cool and intellectual. Nothing to see here. Please move along."
"Welcome to Slashdot. Much in the same way that one dog sniffs another's ass to evaluate that individual, so is this practice of marking your grounds of viewpoint. Think of it as a Linux user bending over and farting - It is all about making their views heard.
"The most legendary troll ever to grace the pages of Slashdot. Not only was a Slashdot editor duped into posting a complete article on the opression of Kabul's geeks, but it also spawned a veritable banquet of new trolling material (such as optimum temperatures for storing Commodore hardware buried under chicken huts and the abundance of DivX Baywatch episodes)"
"This is commonly seen in comments sections after a pathetic Slashboteer or paranoid YRO fanatic has been suckered into replying to a finely crafted piece of literary genius."
"Many cock-smoking Slashdot users like to claim that it is 'because they can'. In fact, it boils down to 'because I've got nothing else better to do'. These are normally the same people who think that their university attendance made them technical gods and everyone else is worthless."
"A high percentage of Slashdot users are still in university, and think that after day 1 of 'Introduction to C' that they are ready to code embedded systems for Boeing or Raytheon . They spend endless hours posting about how they've hacked device x, when in fact all they've done is downloaded the SDK, bragged about 16-bit bus register cron-job front side bus accumulators and watched 'Anti-Trust' for the 797th time."
SLASHDOT SUMMER CAMP
Hey Slashboteers! Are you finishing university? *STILL* unemployed after the dot com layoffs? Well, have we got the answer for you! Chief Executive Officer Rob Madla and SS Officer Michael Sims invite you to join them at the Black River Public School in Holland, Michigan from the 10th of August for the SLASHDOT SUMMER CAMP. Three full days of pony rides, coding and male bonding. Special Appearances by NAMBLA Grand Wizard Katz with his partner Wai Tu Yung.
Activities include:
Tickets are US$90 each, and the event lasts for three days. For more information, or to book a place, contact CmdrTaco
Terms & Conditions:
Spaces are limited to how many people we can lock in a basement. Camp is open to males aged between 12 and 19. No soap is allowed on the premises. CmdrTaco's Jubei cabinet is not to be used as a simulated coffin for sex games without his involvement.
1. Go here. Buy a net4801, a case, flash card and power supply for a few hundred dollars. Alternatively, an old 486 with some quality Intel/3COM NICs from your local 2nd-hand shop.
2. READ THIS.
2. Buy and install this.
3. Read this, this and this.
Trolling aside, Linux has got its places but if you want to do things right in a scenario such as the one you describe, OpenBSD is the only smart choice.
1st Official Slashdot to English Translator-matic
"Me and a bunch of people got drunk, thought we could code, submitted the idea and produced a fancy web page. It's now two years later and the project has no files to download and is STILL on Stage 1, Planning."
"I've been reading UNIX in a Nutshell for SVR4 and fucks knows what any of this flags stuff is about"
"I can install Red Hat from a bootable CD. The machine is not connected to a network and all I do all day is type ps, pwd and ls. I'm so l33t."
"My folks are rich enough to send me off for further education. I am now in an uber-elite crowd of know-it-alls and I am here to belittle you. Fear me."
"I've spent the last two years being subjected to biased slashdot propaganda. I couldn't hack into a properly configured windows system if my life depended on it."
"I've spent far too much time absorbing bullshit ideals from anarchists. The truth of the matter is, I just don't want to pay for anything whatsoever. Britney CDs should be free because I think that somehow the constitution protects my illegal copying and distribution under some freedom of speech law or fair use act. Even though I don't have to go out and buy luxury items, I'm gonna whinge and bitch anyway"
"I've only been using it for a week, and now my hardcore wannabe techno friends think I'm a guru. I now recommend it to everybody based upon what I've read at slashdot."
"Somebody please shoot me several times in the head. I am fucking clueless."
"I'm too fucking dense to realise that this has been going on for over 15 years already, and I've just finished reading 1984. Go figure."
"Read about what went into the design of "the ultimate software development environment" from your (my) cube and drool."
And that is why the unwashed, pathetic virgins of Slashdot are Morbo's "Vermin of the Week".
Fuck you all to merry hell.
AUTO LAMENESS INSERTION
etc etc ad infinitum. You Slashbots can fucking SUCK IT like the little predictable unfunny bitches that you are.
That will be all. I thank you.
"Let me start off by saying I know virtually nothing about the subject at hand."
Well, you've certainly come to the right place! Go Slashdot!
"...if you are a unix/linux admin, then Windows to you should be very clear and straight forward."
That is total bollocks and you know it. I'd like to see someone who knows Exim and Postfix walk into an clustered Exchange 2000 site and hit the ground running. Yet more FUD from the "I know *NIX so therefore I know everything" crowd.
Maybe because there is something quite satisfying in seeing a know-it-all "I'm so bloody wonderful, look at my over-inflated opinion of my intellect" Slashbot embarrass themselves with a poorly designed homepage. If you really are so expert in English and feel it your duty to correct someone else's usage, make damn sure your own 5kb of ego-boosting homepage crap is absolutely accurate first.
Nope, sorry, still not funny. Try again maybe?
As for the English lanuguage, you might want to look at your online CV. Plenty of spelling errors there, you hypocritical prick.
"...lets just say he's not clear of the closet just yet."
Taco is so far back in the closet he is in fucking Narnia.
And it's not a closet. It's his Jubei cabinet.
.
"People here haven't decided if he's a karma-whore, troll, or bi-polar."
Either way, he probably spends most Sundays choking on Katz's rod.
Actually, I've noticed a distinct lack of homo-erotic Slashteam fan fiction recently. Oh how I miss daily updates from The Turd Report, blatant offtopic racism from Trollaxor and beautiful page widening from Klerck. Those were the glory days of trolling.
Zealot, pig headed and bloody minded,
Sterotypical Slashdot user;
The worse thing is the editors,
One's an habitual child abuser!
News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters.
We hear it all the time;
You'll be moderated into oblivion,
Unless you toe the party line.
Ninety eighty four is here,
Our freedom's all but lost!
My house is bugged I am not free,
If I speak it's at what cost?
Government corruption, RIAA lies,
Oh! A big tax on MP3!
I've got 40 gigs of music,
And none owing to piracy.
Flame and SHOUT and type *sigh*
It makes themselves look gay;
On any proper message board,
They'd just be cleared away!
First year of a uni ed,
They think they know it all;
Installed RedHat from a CD,
And blitzed the '98 install.
But soon they'll notice problems,
When MS Word will work no more;
The answer to their worries is
Q247804
Slashdot sucks, and no denying,
The state of things right here;
56ker and HanzoSan,
Talking shit throughout the year.
Jesus Christ this site is lame,
Predictable Microsoft bashing;
But no-one mentions the 2.4 tree,
When bug caused filesystem crashing.
Security holes debated all the time,
You'd think they'd get it right;
But Linux servers are just as bad,
Warnings published out of sight.
To sum it up with a simple phrase,
(the zealots have started crying);
Linux was just a fad and phase,
Thank god Slashdot is dying.
"...Slashdot will be shut down for aiding Terrorists, and CmdrTaco and crew will sit in a cell down in Cuba..."
Well, come on then! I'm sure that the Slashteam are quite used to being tied up on racks and humiliated.... Christ, normally they have to pay for the priviledge!
SLASHDOT SUMMER CAMP
Hey Slashboteers! Are you finishing university? *STILL* unemployed after the dot com layoffs? Well, have we got the answer for you! Chief Executive Officer Rob Madla and SS Officer Michael Sims invite you to join them at the Black River Public School in Holland, Michigan from the 10th of August for the SLASHDOT SUMMER CAMP. Three full days of pony rides, coding and male bonding. Special Appearances by NAMBLA Grand Wizard Katz with his partner Wai Tu Yung.
Activities include:
Tickets are US$90 each, and the event lasts for three days. For more information, or to book a place, contact CmdrTaco [mailto]
Terms & Conditions:
Spaces are limited to how many people we can lock in a basement. Camp is open to males aged between 12 and 19. No soap is allowed on the premises. CmdrTaco's Jubei cabinet is not to be used as a simulated coffin for sex games without his involvement.
SLASHDOT SUMMER CAMP
Hey Slashboteers! Are you finishing university? *STILL* unemployed after the dot com layoffs? Well, have we got the answer for you! Chief Executive Officer Rob Madla and SS Officer Michael Sims invite you to join them at the Black River Public School in Holland, Michigan from the 10th of August for the SLASHDOT SUMMER CAMP. Three full days of pony rides, coding and male bonding. Special Appearances by NAMBLA Grand Wizard Katz with his partner Wai Tu Yung.
Activities include:
Tickets are US$90 each, and the event lasts for three days. For more information, or to book a place, contact CmdrTaco
Terms & Conditions:
Spaces are limited to how many people we can lock in a basement. Camp is open to males aged between 12 and 19. No soap is allowed on the premises. CmdrTaco's Jubei cabinet is not to be used as a simulated coffin for sex games without his involvement.
1st Official Slashdot to English Translator-matic
"Me and a bunch of people got drunk, thought we could code, submitted the idea and produced a fancy web page. It's now two years later and the project has no files to download and is STILL on Stage 1, Planning."
"I've been reading UNIX in a Nutshell for SVR4 and fucks knows what any of this flags stuff is about"
"I can install Red Hat from a bootable CD. The machine is not connected to a network and all I do all day is type ps, pwd and ls. I'm so l33t."
"My folks are rich enough to send me off for further education. I am now in an uber-elite crowd of know-it-alls and I am here to belittle you. Fear me."
"I've spent the last two years being subjected to biased slashdot propaganda. I couldn't hack into a properly configured windows system if my life depended on it."
"I've spent far too much time absorbing bullshit ideals from anarchists. The truth of the matter is, I just don't want to pay for anything whatsoever. Britney CDs should be free because I think that somehow the constitution protects my illegal copying and distribution under some freedom of speech law or fair use act. Even though I don't have to go out and buy luxury items, I'm gonna whinge and bitch anyway"
"I've only been using it for a week, and now my hardcore wannabe techno friends think I'm a guru. I now recommend it to everybody based upon what I've read at slashdot."
"Somebody please shoot me several times in the head. I am fucking clueless."
"I'm too fucking dense to realise that this has been going on for over 15 years already, and I've just finished reading 1984. Go figure."