Cupertino, Calif. (SatireWire.com) Update - Embarrassed company officials today revealed that a typographical error on the ballots used to cast votes in the proposed deal between Hewlett-Packard and Compaq Computer has inadvertently caused the two companies to merde.
Observers said the incident is unprecedented in the annals of corporate typography, and potentially much more damaging than the Royal Bank of Scotland's hostile makeover of NatWest last year - in which 8,000 retail stockbrokers were forcibly given fuller lips - or the Roman Catholic Church's 1999 Initial Pubic Offering, which of course turned out not to be a typo at all. HP Chief Executive Carly Fiorina, who Tuesday had declared a slim victory in her battle to finalize the largest merger in computer company history, downplayed the result as a "minor development." But many analysts disagreed, saying that finally, something had happened to make the HP-Compaq deal remotely interesting. What the vote means legally, however, remains unclear. "There's really nothing to compare this to," said Goldman Sachs technology analyst Milton Barnes: "All we know for sure is, right now, instead of having $20 billion worth of merger, we have $20 billion worth of merde." Replied Walter Hewlett, an HP board member and the main opponent of the deal, "That's what we've been saying would happen all along." Fiorina, meanwhile, refused to speculate on what the mistake might mean for her career, although she insisted it would not affect Compaq chief executive Michael Capellas, who under the agreement was destined to be No. 2 anyway.
Isn't $500 a little expensive for the board? A new iMac only costs $1,299.00 from the Apple Store and you get much more for the same price. There is also the matter of supporting Apple.
With the Sony Glasstron, people with heart disease, high blood pressure, eye disease, eye injuries, or children under the age of 15 would not be able to use this. The Glasstron, it is not recommended for children under the age of 15, since their eyes have not matured completely. Also, the Glasstron should not be worn in vehicles in motion as it may trigger motion sickness-like symptoms.
If it's a roller coaster train, then they'd have some fun before you gassed 'em, roasted 'em, or tied 'em back to back in pairs and shot both of them in the head to save bullets.
If you want to simulate a roller coaster, go pick up a copy of RollerCoaster Tycoon.
Re:Where to put angular momentum
on
Hack in Space
·
· Score: -1, Troll
Newton proved the law of equal areas - that the radius vector to a planet in an elliptical orbit sweeps out equal areas in equal times. This law was later proven empirically by Kepler and is known as Kepler's 2nd law. Both Newton and Kepler used geometry to prove the law. Their proof was based on the idea that as two radius vectors get closer (the third side is the ellipse) this area is the area that is equal in equal times. However, as the vectors get closer on an ellipse, the geometry is that of a circle. So, the law is not valid for elliptical orbits at all.
Now, Kepler's 3rd law was proved based on the results of the 2nd law; and the notion of constant angular momentum of an object in an elliptical orbit is derived from both of these. Constant angular momentum is an EXTREMELY important concept in orbital mechanics - it's at the bottom of an upside down pyramid of all our current theory. Virtually every paper written in the modern day on orbital mechanics assumes constant angular momentum. If it isn't then they are all wrong; furthermore, the error is cumulative!
Practically speaking, most orbits are calculated by numerical simulation. However, you have to wonder why 99.5% of all satellites are in near circular orbits - as circular as launch conditions and equipment allow.
NASA is this interesting
on
Hack in Space
·
· Score: 0, Troll
The channel Homer happened to flick to shows two men talking about the impending launch of the space shuttle.
Tom: It's a lovely day for a launch, here, live at Cape Canaveral, at
the lower end of the Florida Peninsula, and the purpose of
today's mission is truly, really electrifying. Man 2: That's correct, Tom. The lion's share of this flight will be
devoted to the study of the effects of weightlessness on tiny
screws.
Tom: Unbelievable, and just imagine the logistics of weightlessness.
And of course, this could have literally millions of applications
here on Earth -- everything from watchmaking to watch repair. Homer: Boring.
[tries to switch channels, but the batteries fall from the
remote control]
No! The batteries!
Tom: Now let's look at the crew a little. Man 2: They're a colorful bunch. They've been dubbed "the Three
Musketeers". Heh heh heh --
Tom: And we laugh legitimately. There's a mathematician, a different
_kind_ of mathematician, and a statistician. Homer: Make it stop! [panics]
Bart: Oh no, not another boring space launch. Change the channel.
Change the channel! Homer: I can't! I can't!
[Bart dives for the plug and tears it from the wall]
[He and Homer both sigh]
Re:NASA these days
on
Hack in Space
·
· Score: 0, Troll
Yes, that's all very well and good, but that is on earth. NASA is called the National Aeronautics and Space Administration for a reason.
NASA used to do stuff like send men to orbit or the moon and test new innovative aircraft. Now they send people up in the space shuttle, and drop them back down. I wish they'd do something interesting again like colonize the moon or something.
Heres to alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems.
NASA these days
on
Hack in Space
·
· Score: -1, Troll
Anyone noticed how these day's NASA really sucks? About the most interesting thing they do is have a board room lunch. There's no exploration, there's no experimentation with new ideas, and there's none of the former openness. I'd have to say, that whereas I used support what NASA is doing, I no longer do so and have fallen into a habit of badmouthing NASA nearly all the time. I haven't got anything against the scientists and engineers, it's the beuracracy. I don't think we'll ever see anything interesting out of NASA again.
I'd love to see acutual engineering documents and code for stuff like the Saturn V, the lunar module and the ground control computers
So would China, Iraq, and many other dangerous rouge states. The US spyplane that crashed in China gave the Chinese an important look at our technology. What would entire engineering documents do?
Think about national security and protecting our way of life right now. We are in a war if you haven't noticed.
Slashdot Mirror
There is a story about the IBM screen here. They have just dropped the price in the last few days 53% from $17,999 to $8,399.
The Macworld Conference and Expo/Tokyo 2002 website is here with information on the event and the exhibits.
There is also a thread at Macrumors on the event.
Those wanting to watch the keynote are out of luck because there are no plans to broadcast it this year, like they have done in the past.
http://www.satirewire.com/news/march02/merde.shtml
Cupertino, Calif. (SatireWire.com) Update - Embarrassed company officials today revealed that a typographical error on the ballots used to cast votes in the proposed deal between Hewlett-Packard and Compaq Computer has inadvertently caused the two companies to merde.
Observers said the incident is unprecedented in the annals of corporate typography, and potentially much more damaging than the Royal Bank of Scotland's hostile makeover of NatWest last year - in which 8,000 retail stockbrokers were forcibly given fuller lips - or the Roman Catholic Church's 1999 Initial Pubic Offering, which of course turned out not to be a typo at all.
HP Chief Executive Carly Fiorina, who Tuesday had declared a slim victory in her battle to finalize the largest merger in computer company history, downplayed the result as a "minor development." But many analysts disagreed, saying that finally, something had happened to make the HP-Compaq deal remotely interesting.
What the vote means legally, however, remains unclear.
"There's really nothing to compare this to," said Goldman Sachs technology analyst Milton Barnes: "All we know for sure is, right now, instead of having $20 billion worth of merger, we have $20 billion worth of merde."
Replied Walter Hewlett, an HP board member and the main opponent of the deal, "That's what we've been saying would happen all along."
Fiorina, meanwhile, refused to speculate on what the mistake might mean for her career, although she insisted it would not affect Compaq chief executive Michael Capellas, who under the agreement was destined to be No. 2 anyway.
Wow! At this rate we should see OS X running on Intel hardware any day now.
Isn't $500 a little expensive for the board? A new iMac only costs $1,299.00 from the Apple Store and you get much more for the same price. There is also the matter of supporting Apple.
With the Sony Glasstron, people with heart disease, high blood pressure, eye disease, eye injuries, or children under the age of 15 would not be able to use this. The Glasstron, it is not recommended for children under the age of 15, since their eyes have not matured completely. Also, the Glasstron should not be worn in vehicles in motion as it may trigger motion sickness-like symptoms.
The same would probably apply with the laser HUD.
Exact links are:
here here here here
According to Google News there are 25 more states fighting against Microsoft.
Another reason not to subscribe to Slashdot
For the record I am not gay. However, I do enjoy the company of men.
If it's a roller coaster train, then they'd have some fun before you gassed 'em, roasted 'em, or tied 'em back to back in pairs and shot both of them in the head to save bullets.
If you want to simulate a roller coaster, go pick up a copy of RollerCoaster Tycoon.
Newton proved the law of equal areas - that the radius vector to a planet in an elliptical orbit sweeps out equal areas in equal times. This law was later proven empirically by Kepler and is known as Kepler's 2nd law. Both Newton and Kepler used geometry to prove the law. Their proof was based on the idea that as two radius vectors get closer (the third side is the ellipse) this area is the area that is equal in equal times. However, as the vectors get closer on an ellipse, the geometry is that of a circle. So, the law is not valid for elliptical orbits at all.
Now, Kepler's 3rd law was proved based on the results of the 2nd law; and the notion of constant angular momentum of an object in an elliptical orbit is derived from both of these. Constant angular momentum is an EXTREMELY important concept in orbital mechanics - it's at the bottom of an upside down pyramid of all our current theory. Virtually every paper written in the modern day on orbital mechanics assumes constant angular momentum. If it isn't then they are all wrong; furthermore, the error is cumulative!
Practically speaking, most orbits are calculated by numerical simulation. However, you have to wonder why 99.5% of all satellites are in near circular orbits - as circular as launch conditions and equipment allow.
The channel Homer happened to flick to shows two men talking about the
impending launch of the space shuttle.
Tom: It's a lovely day for a launch, here, live at Cape Canaveral, at
the lower end of the Florida Peninsula, and the purpose of
today's mission is truly, really electrifying.
Man 2: That's correct, Tom. The lion's share of this flight will be
devoted to the study of the effects of weightlessness on tiny
screws.
Tom: Unbelievable, and just imagine the logistics of weightlessness.
And of course, this could have literally millions of applications
here on Earth -- everything from watchmaking to watch repair.
Homer: Boring.
[tries to switch channels, but the batteries fall from the
remote control]
No! The batteries!
Tom: Now let's look at the crew a little.
Man 2: They're a colorful bunch. They've been dubbed "the Three
Musketeers". Heh heh heh --
Tom: And we laugh legitimately. There's a mathematician, a different
_kind_ of mathematician, and a statistician.
Homer: Make it stop! [panics]
Bart: Oh no, not another boring space launch. Change the channel.
Change the channel!
Homer: I can't! I can't!
[Bart dives for the plug and tears it from the wall]
[He and Homer both sigh]
Yes, that's all very well and good, but that is on earth. NASA is called the National Aeronautics and Space Administration for a reason.
NASA used to do stuff like send men to orbit or the moon and test new innovative aircraft. Now they send people up in the space shuttle, and drop them back down. I wish they'd do something interesting again like colonize the moon or something.
Heres to alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems.
Anyone noticed how these day's NASA really sucks? About the most interesting thing they do is have a board room lunch. There's no exploration, there's no experimentation with new ideas, and there's none of the former openness. I'd have to say, that whereas I used support what NASA is doing, I no longer do so and have fallen into a habit of badmouthing NASA nearly all the time. I haven't got anything against the scientists and engineers, it's the beuracracy. I don't think we'll ever see anything interesting out of NASA again.
delivers a dose of pain to your left hand in the form of heat, punches or electroshock, when you mess up.
Usually I get punches when I win, but I think I could get used to this.
You are a panfaced chink.
I'd love to see acutual engineering documents and code for stuff like the Saturn V, the lunar module and the ground control computers
So would China, Iraq, and many other dangerous rouge states. The US spyplane that crashed in China gave the Chinese an important look at our technology. What would entire engineering documents do?
Think about national security and protecting our way of life right now. We are in a war if you haven't noticed.
I am having problems maintaining an erection. Do you think a cock ring and some porn would help?
Slashdot should make comments subscription only.
They could even do away with the need for moderation.
I mean, who wants to pay to crapflood?
For those of you who don't want to pay the $20 to try the iPod organizer hack, try some free ones that do a similar job.
Mp3 phone list
Address organizer
iPDA study
For anyone that has an iPod or is just interested in hacking them, goto iPodHacks.com. It can give you some ideas of what the iPod is capable of.
--Metrollica