That doesn't take into account Blazing Incompetence inherent in most Internet startups. Good ideas, (poorly) trained monkeys serving as CEOs. Take OSDN for example. Selling free software. Marvelous idea, right? Then put a bunch of monkeys in charge, and -- wait, selling free software? That's a terrible idea! What the hell were these fuckmonkeys thinking!?!?!
Nah, not first post. First Japanese-porn-induced cumstain? No, not that either, CmdrTaco was here first, ogling tentacle rape anime and jizzin' up the whole place. Uugh...
Right, it has "nothing do with free speech" if it's protecting the fucking children. Besides, what's wrong with wanking in front of them? They have to learn somehow. Jon Katz does it all the time at the local playground.
CowBoiKneel has a thick, gooey, white core. This is the natural result of serving as an oral- and anal- fuckslave to the rest of the Slashdot crew. It's all got to go somewhere.
Fact: All Open Source development is done by raging homosexuals. The more flaming examples include Anal Cox, Linus Turdballs, Eric Ass-Reaming Raymond, and the entire Slashdot crew. The ringleader of the slashdotters, a man named CmdrTaco, engages in a practice known as Taco-snotting, along with his faggot-buddies Jeff Homos Bates and CowBoiKneel.
Myth:Open Source is written for heterosexuals.
Fact: Using Open Source software can cause suppressed homosexual fantasies to surface, leading to all out flaming faggotry within 6-8 weeks. Anecdotes of otherwise hetero men turning queer are far too numerous to count, but a few examples stand out. In one case, a man was arrested loitering outside an elementary school and making sexual overtures to several children: he quickly confessed that shortly after installing the Mozilla browser on his computer, he began to have uncontrollable urges to, to put it simply, have his cock sucked off by little boys. He soon met several other like-minded men through discussions on the Bugger Zilla mailing list (all already homosexuals), who together kidnapped a total of seven children whom they brought back to their apartment and sodomized. The other two men are still at large and believed to still be using Mozilla.
Fact: Open Source is controlled by a few narrow-minded zealots (mentioned throughout this post), most of whom are either Communists, Stalinists, Nazis, or Fascists. Additionally, Open Source supports terrorism.
Myth:Open Source is tolerant of religious preferences.
Fact: Open Source developers regularly engage in holy wars over the superiority of various Open Source projects, such as the Emacs program (preferred by Christians) versus vi (used mostly by neo-pagans and Satanists); or the KDE desktop (a favorite among Muslims) versus the GNOME project (particularly favored by Jews). Posts initiating crusades or jihads against other developers can be found regularly throughout the newsgroups and mailing lists.
Myth:Open Source is tolerant of sexual preference.
Fact: See above. Either you are a homo, you become a homo, or you never visit Richard Stallman alone in his office and hope to God you never meet him on the street at night.
Myth:Open Source is tolerant of political differences.
Fact: Open Source is an anarcho-communist philosophy bent on the destruction of capitalism. The very same Richard Stallman, a man whose name is disturbingly reminiscent of Stalin, has stated several times in public that his vision includes the subjugation of all who own intellectual properties under the jackboot of the GPL. The GPL is a pernicious piece of literature lifted straight from Karl Marxs Communist Manifesto, and is fortunately banned in many democratic nations.
* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *
Myth:Open Source programming is a harlmess, healthy activity.
Fact: Open Source programming has been known to lead to massive obesity, violent tendencies with an obsession with handguns, paranoid-delusional ranting, and in severe cases, complete insanity. If anyone you know is thinking about going Open Source, stop them before its too late!
...in order to protect their $20 of fake -- excuse me, "intellectual" -- property, they're going to destroy their customer's $1000 physical property. Anyone want to join me in tracking down Hilary Rosen and fucking her up the ass with each one of these CDs? To that "beat you to death with an aluminum baseball bat" troll I've been seeing around here recently: your services are also requested. Please bring a spare bat, or three; Ms. Rosen is quite a porker. Thank you.
In other news, NetBSD has decided to remove all programs beginning with the letter C. cd, cp, cat, and cut were the first to go, quickly followed by cc and cpp. When asked about this rather bizarre move, core developer Frank van der Linden, responded, "Well, everyone's doing it. FreeBSD just tore Perl out by its nuts, and OpenBSD is now removing all their r* programs." Other developers weren't so sure it was a good idea -- one was quoted saying, "This is sheer lunacy. I mean, remove 'cat'? What's next? Linux announces they're removing 'sh'?" Linus Torvalds was unavailable for comment, however lead developer Anal Cox was recently overheard talking about the Linux 2.6 base install "including no executable or library files whatsoever."
No, a search for sandwich explosion resulted in 24,800 hits.* A search for "sandwich explosion" only resulted in 4. The first is a search for pages containing the word "sandwich" AND "explosion", the second is a search for pages containing exactly the expression "sandwich explosion."
Additionally, a search for sex with horny goats and children returns 5,370 results, but does not mean there are that many bestio-pedophiles in the world. Thankfully, a search for "sex with horny goats and children" returned nothing, even though I expected JonKatz's homepage to come up.
* Actually 25,100 for me; Google doesn't like you.
A (modern) inch is defined as exactly 2.54 cm. Go from there (12 in/ft, 5280 ft/mi,...) and you eventually get 1.609344 km = 1 mi. Exactly (no repeating decimal or anything). You mean you didn't know this?
. . . actually, if you knew anything about them, you'd know they work precisely by being hit really hard. Basically the fission reaction comes about by sudden, massive inward pressure. (I think the compression results in more free neutrons being able to strike Uranium atoms since they're now closer together, hence a chain-reaction begins.) Early bombs were set off by lining them with conventional explosives.
Slashdot Mirror
Fine, then. Mirosoft is evil. And Microso£t can kiss my ass. And Mi€rosoft really needs to be taken out and shot. Fuck M¥crosoft.
All my 30 or so Hotmail accounts (one for each Slashdot account, plus a few others) all identify me as "Robert Malda." Let them spam!
That doesn't take into account Blazing Incompetence inherent in most Internet startups. Good ideas, (poorly) trained monkeys serving as CEOs. Take OSDN for example. Selling free software. Marvelous idea, right? Then put a bunch of monkeys in charge, and -- wait, selling free software? That's a terrible idea! What the hell were these fuckmonkeys thinking!?!?!
This is a troll.
Thank you.
More cons:
- Must be penised by Richard Stallman if you wish to use it.
More pros:
- Must be penised by Richard Stallman if you wish to use it,
if you're into hairy hippy sex.
Nah, not first post. First Japanese-porn-induced cumstain? No, not that either, CmdrTaco was here first, ogling tentacle rape anime and jizzin' up the whole place. Uugh...
Dude, you are so getting a Dell!!
Hmm... yes, it's rotating, isn't it?
There, did I think about it enough?
*goes back to thinking about the Earth rotating*
Right, it has "nothing do with free speech" if it's protecting the fucking children. Besides, what's wrong with wanking in front of them? They have to learn somehow. Jon Katz does it all the time at the local playground.
I suppose the poor Kuwaitis can't look at this delicious little thing, mm?
Uh... sure. How about some nice wank material? I'd like to see those -- er, her swingin' around a pole...
Enjoy. Eh, it's the best I could do. Too busy wanking.
"Sorry if someone else brought this up, I'm too lazy to wade through 400 messages :P"
Nah, only an assload so comments immediately preceding yours said the same thing. I suppose you could miss them. All fifty of them...
Probably a little of everything in there. I mean, he is the size of the fucking Titanic.
CowBoiKneel has a thick, gooey, white core. This is the natural result of serving as an oral- and anal- fuckslave to the rest of the Slashdot crew. It's all got to go somewhere.
Myth: Open Source is written by heterosexuals.
Fact: All Open Source development is done by raging homosexuals. The more flaming examples include Anal Cox, Linus Turdballs, Eric Ass-Reaming Raymond, and the entire Slashdot crew. The ringleader of the slashdotters, a man named CmdrTaco, engages in a practice known as Taco-snotting, along with his faggot-buddies Jeff Homos Bates and CowBoiKneel.
Myth: Open Source is written for heterosexuals.
Fact: Using Open Source software can cause suppressed homosexual fantasies to surface, leading to all out flaming faggotry within 6-8 weeks. Anecdotes of otherwise hetero men turning queer are far too numerous to count, but a few examples stand out. In one case, a man was arrested loitering outside an elementary school and making sexual overtures to several children: he quickly confessed that shortly after installing the Mozilla browser on his computer, he began to have uncontrollable urges to, to put it simply, have his cock sucked off by little boys. He soon met several other like-minded men through discussions on the Bugger Zilla mailing list (all already homosexuals), who together kidnapped a total of seven children whom they brought back to their apartment and sodomized. The other two men are still at large and believed to still be using Mozilla.
Myth: Open Source is multicultural.
Fact: Open Source is openly racist.
Myth: Open Source is democratic.
Fact: Open Source is controlled by a few narrow-minded zealots (mentioned throughout this post), most of whom are either Communists, Stalinists, Nazis, or Fascists. Additionally, Open Source supports terrorism.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of religious preferences.
Fact: Open Source developers regularly engage in holy wars over the superiority of various Open Source projects, such as the Emacs program (preferred by Christians) versus vi (used mostly by neo-pagans and Satanists); or the KDE desktop (a favorite among Muslims) versus the GNOME project (particularly favored by Jews). Posts initiating crusades or jihads against other developers can be found regularly throughout the newsgroups and mailing lists.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of sexual preference.
Fact: See above. Either you are a homo, you become a homo, or you never visit Richard Stallman alone in his office and hope to God you never meet him on the street at night.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of political differences.
Fact: Open Source is an anarcho-communist philosophy bent on the destruction of capitalism. The very same Richard Stallman, a man whose name is disturbingly reminiscent of Stalin, has stated several times in public that his vision includes the subjugation of all who own intellectual properties under the jackboot of the GPL. The GPL is a pernicious piece of literature lifted straight from Karl Marxs Communist Manifesto, and is fortunately banned in many democratic nations.
* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *
* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *
____________________
© 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
...in order to protect their $20 of fake -- excuse me, "intellectual" -- property, they're going to destroy their customer's $1000 physical property. Anyone want to join me in tracking down Hilary Rosen and fucking her up the ass with each one of these CDs? To that "beat you to death with an aluminum baseball bat" troll I've been seeing around here recently: your services are also requested. Please bring a spare bat, or three; Ms. Rosen is quite a porker. Thank you.
Well, wh00ty t00ty t00t!!
In other news, NetBSD has decided to remove all programs beginning with the letter C. cd, cp, cat, and cut were the first to go, quickly followed by cc and cpp. When asked about this rather bizarre move, core developer Frank van der Linden, responded, "Well, everyone's doing it. FreeBSD just tore Perl out by its nuts, and OpenBSD is now removing all their r* programs." Other developers weren't so sure it was a good idea -- one was quoted saying, "This is sheer lunacy. I mean, remove 'cat'? What's next? Linux announces they're removing 'sh'?" Linus Torvalds was unavailable for comment, however lead developer Anal Cox was recently overheard talking about the Linux 2.6 base install "including no executable or library files whatsoever."
I am a Renaissance Troll.
No, a search for sandwich explosion resulted in 24,800 hits.* A search for "sandwich explosion" only resulted in 4. The first is a search for pages containing the word "sandwich" AND "explosion", the second is a search for pages containing exactly the expression "sandwich explosion."
Additionally, a search for sex with horny goats and children returns 5,370 results, but does not mean there are that many bestio-pedophiles in the world. Thankfully, a search for "sex with horny goats and children" returned nothing, even though I expected JonKatz's homepage to come up.
* Actually 25,100 for me; Google doesn't like you.
So if I post the speed of light as 3 inches/year, and post it 67 times under my 67 different accounts, do I "win"?
I love democracy.
A (modern) inch is defined as exactly 2.54 cm. Go from there (12 in/ft, 5280 ft/mi, ...) and you eventually get 1.609344 km = 1 mi. Exactly (no repeating decimal or anything). You mean you didn't know this?
. . . actually, if you knew anything about them, you'd know they work precisely by being hit really hard. Basically the fission reaction comes about by sudden, massive inward pressure. (I think the compression results in more free neutrons being able to strike Uranium atoms since they're now closer together, hence a chain-reaction begins.) Early bombs were set off by lining them with conventional explosives.
Nah, not density, mass. If fat-asses were dense, they wouldn't be, well... big. They'd be heavy, but surely wouldn't look like this. Yeeesh.