Slashdot will be sold to Microsoft, and the user database to Doubleclick. Millions of geeks will descend on Redmond and tear Gates to shreds, then whoever runs Doubleclick.
The michael.pl script is broken at the moment. It dumped core halfway through the do_wank() subroutine, taking jamie.pl and CowBoi::Kneel.pm down with it. CmdrTaco and Homos are still picking up the pieces and trying to put it back together. Rest assured michael.pl will be wanking and slapping all you trolls back down in no time.
"These are the ones that wrapped your underwear around your head during gym class yesterday."
Maybe if instead of going to gym class you hid in the closet (peering into the girls' locker room while you're at it, why not?), you wouldn't get yourself "wedged." My good friend Alan Cox used to hide all class, but he liked to pass time by sniffing the guy's und--- Hmm, I've said too much already. Sorry, I must go.
Re:Slashdot Slaughters Unicode Support!
on
Making the iPod
·
· Score: -1
The original version (see Serial Troller's diary) had a whole quote from the Honourable Mr. ????? ? ?????, but the Lameness Filter wouldn't let me post it. First they slaughter Unicode, then they insult it with their "Junk character" epithets. Slashdot will pay.
Now, now -- that's no reason to take their anger out on the poor Unicode character sets. I doubt that SMALL LATIN LETTER O WITH DIARESIS had anything to do with VA bleeding money.
Slaughters all non-ASCII-speaking netizens, film at eleven
THE HAGUE -- Robert ?CmdrTaco? Malda, the owner of the popular technology website Slash Dot, has become one of the first U.S. citizens to be indicted by the International Criminal Court for crimes against typography. The Court, authorized by the Rome Statute and ratified by over 60 nations, is charged with the duty of prosecuting individuals for serious human rights violations such as genocide, torture, and sexual slavery.
With this prosecution, the Court seems intent on adding a new crime to their docket, the crime of ?Unicide.?
?What this ?Taco Commander? did to the international community is unconscionable,? U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan was quoted saying. ?Yesterday, there was a flourishing Unicode-speaking population, numbering in the thousands. Today, there are none. They are all silenced. Their Unicode is either blocked by this so-called ?Lameness Filter? or silently wrenched from their messages.?
Slash Dot is home to at least 580,000 citizens, who hail from every Internet-equipped country in the world. However, many more ? perhaps nearly a million ? live anonymously amongst the ranks of registered citizens.
????? ? ?????, Prime Minister of ???? ?????????????, was outraged when he heard of Slash Dot?s decision to cleanse all Unicode-speaking individuals from their website.
The White House was dismayed by the decision of the Court to prosecute an American citizen for what the President deemed, a ?politicalized persecutorial.? White House spokesman Ari Flescher announced that the U.S. would, if pressed, go forward with their recently unveiled plan to invade the Netherlands, if this prosecution was not halted. ?This is absolutely stunning,? he said. ?That the United States would be expected to even acknowledge the presence of other character sets other than ASCII is an offense in its own right. You either write in ASCII, or you?re with the terrorists.?
Slash Dot, and its parent corporation, VA Software, were unavailable for comment.
Slashdot Slaughters Unicode Support!
on
Making the iPod
·
· Score: -1
Slaughters all non-ASCII-speaking netizens, film at eleven
THE HAGUE -- Robert ?CmdrTaco? Malda, the owner of the popular technology website Slash Dot, has become one of the first U.S. citizens to be indicted by the International Criminal Court for crimes against typography. The Court, authorized by the Rome Statute and ratified by over 60 nations, is charged with the duty of prosecuting individuals for serious human rights violations such as genocide, torture, and sexual slavery.
With this prosecution, the Court seems intent on adding a new crime to their docket, the crime of ?Unicide.?
?What this ?Taco Commander? did to the international community is unconscionable,? U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan was quoted saying. ?Yesterday, there was a flourishing Unicode-speaking population, numbering in the thousands. Today, there are none. They are all silenced. Their Unicode is either blocked by this so-called ?Lameness Filter? or silently wrenched from their messages.?
Slash Dot is home to at least 580,000 citizens, who hail from every Internet-equipped country in the world. However, many more ? perhaps nearly a million ? live anonymously amongst the ranks of registered citizens.
????? ? ?????, Prime Minister of ???? ?????????????, was outraged when he heard of Slash Dot?s decision to cleanse all Unicode-speaking individuals from their website.
The White House was dismayed by the decision of the Court to prosecute an American citizen for what the President deemed, a ?politicalized persecutorial.? White House spokesman Ari Flescher announced that the U.S. would, if pressed, go forward with their recently unveiled plan to invade the Netherlands, if this prosecution was not halted. ?This is absolutely stunning,? he said. ?That the United States would be expected to even acknowledge the presence of other character sets other than ASCII is an offense in its own right. You either write in ASCII, or you?re with the terrorists.?
Slash Dot, and its parent corporation, VA Software, were unavailable for comment.
THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN) By Serial Troller, 2002-06-25
Is das nicht ein early post?
Ja! Das ist mein early post!
Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost?
Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost!
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das post at minus one?
Ja! Das ist at minus one!
Is das trolling so much fun?
Ja! Das trolling is so fun!
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein big crapflood?
Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood!
Is it worthless Linux FUD?
Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD!
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel?
Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel!
Is dis nicht his manchode meal?
Ja! Das ist his manchode meal!
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll?
Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll!
Is das nicht ein Goatse hole?
Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole!
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht Jon Katz' slave boys?
Ja! Das ist Jon Katz' slave boys!
Und are they not Taco's sex toys?
Ja! They are Taco's sex toys!
Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread?
Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread!
Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD?
Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD!
Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD,
Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
____________________
Change Log:
Subtle changes to most verses. It sounded really gay before.
Removed all references to Taco's pud. May have been high at time. Will investigate further.
Finally think I have goat sex written correctly in German. I think. Arschficken?
(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN) By Serial Troller, 2002-06-25
Is das nicht ein early post?
Ja! Das ist mein early post!
Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost?
Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost!
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das post at minus one?
Ja! Das ist at minus one!
Is das trolling so much fun?
Ja! Das trolling is so fun!
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein big crapflood?
Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood!
Is it worthless Linux FUD?
Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD!
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel?
Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel!
Is dis nicht his manchode meal?
Ja! Das ist his manchode meal!
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll?
Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll!
Is das nicht ein Goatse hole?
Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole!
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht Jon Katz' slave boys?
Ja! Das ist Jon Katz' slave boys!
Und are they not Taco's sex toys?
Ja! They are Taco's sex toys!
Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread?
Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread!
Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD?
Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD!
Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD,
Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schone,
Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone,
Slashdot sucks!
____________________
Change Log:
Subtle changes to most verses. It sounded really gay before.
Removed all references to Taco's pud. May have been high at time. Will investigate further.
Finally think I have goat sex written correctly in German. I think. Arschficken?
(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
Slashdot Mirror
I'd rather grab Alan Cox's testicles.
Mmmmm, big purple hairy nuts.....
Wow, is this site ever covered with 8====D. What the hell happened? Circle-snotting explosion??? Jesus. 8====D everywhere.
Teabagger, actually.
I want sex. Is this possible with a dick covered in maggots? I had it up Alan's ass, sorry girls.
:)
MsGeek, I'm looking at you...
The Troll Polka and The Taco-Snotting FAQ.
Slashdot will be sold to Microsoft, and the user database to Doubleclick. Millions of geeks will descend on Redmond and tear Gates to shreds, then whoever runs Doubleclick.
If they go bankrupt, who will we troll? And what will we do without cmdrtaco.pl to make fun of!?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
michael, sick my duck.
The michael.pl script is broken at the moment. It dumped core halfway through the do_wank() subroutine, taking jamie.pl and CowBoi::Kneel.pm down with it. CmdrTaco and Homos are still picking up the pieces and trying to put it back together. Rest assured michael.pl will be wanking and slapping all you trolls back down in no time.
"These are the ones that wrapped your underwear around your head during gym class yesterday."
Maybe if instead of going to gym class you hid in the closet (peering into the girls' locker room while you're at it, why not?), you wouldn't get yourself "wedged." My good friend Alan Cox used to hide all class, but he liked to pass time by sniffing the guy's und--- Hmm, I've said too much already. Sorry, I must go.
I really wish michael would quit wanking over the keyboard...
*wank*
Offtopic!
*wank*
Redundant!
*wank*
Flamebait!
*wank*
Troll!!
*wank*
*wank*
*wank*
Bitch slap!!!!
The original version (see Serial Troller's diary) had a whole quote from the Honourable Mr. ????? ? ?????, but the Lameness Filter wouldn't let me post it. First they slaughter Unicode, then they insult it with their "Junk character" epithets. Slashdot will pay.
Now, now -- that's no reason to take their anger out on the poor Unicode character sets. I doubt that SMALL LATIN LETTER O WITH DIARESIS had anything to do with VA bleeding money.
The Babbling Fish sez:
You can always eat my shit! It tastes very good. You are large Kartoffelfresser, are you also a Scheissefresser? Already we want to know!
Gaaaaaah?
SLASHDOT COMMITS UNICIDE
By Serial Troller, 2002-07-04
Slaughters all non-ASCII-speaking netizens, film at eleven
THE HAGUE -- Robert ?CmdrTaco? Malda, the owner of the popular technology website Slash Dot, has become one of the first U.S. citizens to be indicted by the International Criminal Court for crimes against typography. The Court, authorized by the Rome Statute and ratified by over 60 nations, is charged with the duty of prosecuting individuals for serious human rights violations such as genocide, torture, and sexual slavery.
With this prosecution, the Court seems intent on adding a new crime to their docket, the crime of ?Unicide.?
?What this ?Taco Commander? did to the international community is unconscionable,? U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan was quoted saying. ?Yesterday, there was a flourishing Unicode-speaking population, numbering in the thousands. Today, there are none. They are all silenced. Their Unicode is either blocked by this so-called ?Lameness Filter? or silently wrenched from their messages.?
Slash Dot is home to at least 580,000 citizens, who hail from every Internet-equipped country in the world. However, many more ? perhaps nearly a million ? live anonymously amongst the ranks of registered citizens.
????? ? ?????, Prime Minister of ???? ?????????????, was outraged when he heard of Slash Dot?s decision to cleanse all Unicode-speaking individuals from their website.
The White House was dismayed by the decision of the Court to prosecute an American citizen for what the President deemed, a ?politicalized persecutorial.? White House spokesman Ari Flescher announced that the U.S. would, if pressed, go forward with their recently unveiled plan to invade the Netherlands, if this prosecution was not halted. ?This is absolutely stunning,? he said. ?That the United States would be expected to even acknowledge the presence of other character sets other than ASCII is an offense in its own right. You either write in ASCII, or you?re with the terrorists.?
Slash Dot, and its parent corporation, VA Software, were unavailable for comment.
SLASHDOT COMMITS UNICIDE
By Serial Troller, 2002-07-04
Slaughters all non-ASCII-speaking netizens, film at eleven
THE HAGUE -- Robert ?CmdrTaco? Malda, the owner of the popular technology website Slash Dot, has become one of the first U.S. citizens to be indicted by the International Criminal Court for crimes against typography. The Court, authorized by the Rome Statute and ratified by over 60 nations, is charged with the duty of prosecuting individuals for serious human rights violations such as genocide, torture, and sexual slavery.
With this prosecution, the Court seems intent on adding a new crime to their docket, the crime of ?Unicide.?
?What this ?Taco Commander? did to the international community is unconscionable,? U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan was quoted saying. ?Yesterday, there was a flourishing Unicode-speaking population, numbering in the thousands. Today, there are none. They are all silenced. Their Unicode is either blocked by this so-called ?Lameness Filter? or silently wrenched from their messages.?
Slash Dot is home to at least 580,000 citizens, who hail from every Internet-equipped country in the world. However, many more ? perhaps nearly a million ? live anonymously amongst the ranks of registered citizens.
????? ? ?????, Prime Minister of ???? ?????????????, was outraged when he heard of Slash Dot?s decision to cleanse all Unicode-speaking individuals from their website.
The White House was dismayed by the decision of the Court to prosecute an American citizen for what the President deemed, a ?politicalized persecutorial.? White House spokesman Ari Flescher announced that the U.S. would, if pressed, go forward with their recently unveiled plan to invade the Netherlands, if this prosecution was not halted. ?This is absolutely stunning,? he said. ?That the United States would be expected to even acknowledge the presence of other character sets other than ASCII is an offense in its own right. You either write in ASCII, or you?re with the terrorists.?
Slash Dot, and its parent corporation, VA Software, were unavailable for comment.
THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN)
By Serial Troller, 2002-06-25
Is das nicht ein early post? Ja! Das ist mein early post! Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost? Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost! Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das post at minus one? Ja! Das ist at minus one! Is das trolling so much fun? Ja! Das trolling is so fun! Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein big crapflood? Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood! Is it worthless Linux FUD? Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD! Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel? Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel! Is dis nicht his manchode meal? Ja! Das ist his manchode meal! CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll? Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll! Is das nicht ein Goatse hole? Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole! WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht Jon Katz' slave boys? Ja! Das ist Jon Katz' slave boys! Und are they not Taco's sex toys? Ja! They are Taco's sex toys! Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread? Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread! Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD? Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD! Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD, Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
____________________
Change Log:
(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN)
By Serial Troller, 2002-06-25
Is das nicht ein early post? Ja! Das ist mein early post! Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost? Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost! Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das post at minus one? Ja! Das ist at minus one! Is das trolling so much fun? Ja! Das trolling is so fun! Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein big crapflood? Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood! Is it worthless Linux FUD? Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD! Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel? Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel! Is dis nicht his manchode meal? Ja! Das ist his manchode meal! CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll? Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll! Is das nicht ein Goatse hole? Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole! WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht Jon Katz' slave boys? Ja! Das ist Jon Katz' slave boys! Und are they not Taco's sex toys? Ja! They are Taco's sex toys! Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread? Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread! Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD? Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD! Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD, Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Oh, du schone, Slashdot sucks!
____________________
Change Log:
(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
Forced penis!
Forced penis!
It won't stay down! It keeps getting HARD!!
Forced penis!!
Help, I've been erect for 37 hours!!
I think someone took a bit too much viagra.
Snot FAQ! Someone posted the Snot FAQ! My life is complete!!!!!
Come on, fuck 'em hard! It's what they're for, right? Right???
No. But kiddie porn is. We all love looking at kiddie porn in the IT industry, don't we?