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User: ZackSchil

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Comments · 495

  1. Re:Doomsday Machine on Soviets Built a Doomsday Machine; It's Still Alive · · Score: 5, Funny

    I like how the rest of Asia (40% of the world population), Mexico, and Central/South America (9%) constitute 10% in your worldview.

    Kudos for throwing Africa in as 20%, even though it's closer to 14%. This may be the first time anyone has actually overestimated the influence of Africa.

  2. Re:Auto-pause! on Sony Ericsson Develops Contact Headphones · · Score: 1

    Oh, I know! Let's call them iPods! It's dynamic, catchy, and has this idiosyncratic spelling that I think will really take hold with the general public.

  3. Re:EMP? Impending poverty? on Cursive Writing Is a Fading Skill — Does It Matter? · · Score: 1

    The two aren't related. Cursive reduces fatigue and improves fountain pen performance due to the same property: reducing the number of times the pen must be lifted from the paper. Has nothing to do with pen pressure.

  4. Someone get these rats some Mirapex! on Paraplegic Rats Enabled To "Walk" Again · · Score: 2, Funny

    This looks like the worst case of Restless Leg Syndrome of all time.

  5. Re:EMP? Impending poverty? on Cursive Writing Is a Fading Skill — Does It Matter? · · Score: 2, Funny

    This is nonsense. Cursive writing is the essential underpinning of nothing more than fountain pens and hand fatigue.

  6. The Jetsons! on Nissan Gives Electric Cars Blade Runner Audio Effect · · Score: 4, Funny

    I want my car to sound like the flying cars from The Jetsons. Then I can at least pretend that I got the future I was promised as a child.

  7. Re:Inherintly unconstitutional on Professor Posts "Illegal Copy" of Guide To Oregon Public Record Laws · · Score: 1

    You just described the basis for nearly every major religion.

  8. Re:XOR to iPhone SDK? on iPhone Gets .Net App Development · · Score: 2, Informative

    No, you'll still need to compile with XCode and sign the apps through Apple's $100 development program to try them out on a real phone. This just offers different UI libraries to link to when making your app rather than using cocoa.

    If they crash or misbehave, Apple will reject your app though. So hopefully they're pretty solid. I imagine this is mostly to help enterprise customers port their Windows Mobile apps to the iPhone.

  9. Re:Server? on New iPod Touch Has an 802.11n Chip · · Score: 1

    You do know that component is the Red Green Blue, Red-Audio, White-Audio cable, right? Not the Yellow, Red-Audio, White-Audio.

    It's basically a VGA connection (in a different color space) without the sync lines. It's analog but it's high-end, high-def, progressive scan-capable analog. Most people would be hard-pressed to tell the difference between VGA, HDMI, and Component at 720p.

  10. Re:Server? on New iPod Touch Has an 802.11n Chip · · Score: 1

    All my TVs do, both the CRTs and LCDs. It's also the cable I bought for the Wii to use it in progressive scan and the video cable that came with the XBox 360.

  11. Re:Server? on New iPod Touch Has an 802.11n Chip · · Score: 5, Informative

    iPods output to televisions.

  12. Re:Don't worry on Mount Wilson Observatory In Danger From L.A. Fire · · Score: 1

    Clearly the observatory was passed over due to a lack of adorable wild koalas in shock, drinking from waterbottles and letting people wrap their burned hands.

  13. Re:childish question on Making Babies In Space May Not Be Easy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Because blenders are very poor at maintaining a temperature of 102 degrees Fahrenheit and very good at turning everything inside of them into a smooth paste.

  14. The EASY way out! on EMC Co-Founder Commits Suicide · · Score: 5, Insightful

    What a coward! He should have faced his imminent slow and painful death like a man: by watching his dignity slowly fade away as he soils his bed and sobs uncontrollably about a life ill spent.

    Wait, his life wasn't ill spent, so he realized that everything I just typed is bullshit. Society's attitude towards suicide is fucked up.

    Rest in peace.

  15. They own a lot of things... on Disney Buys Marvel For $4B · · Score: 1

    I wouldn't worry about this news very much. Disney owns a massive empire of entertainment companies that produce programming for all age groups.

    They own Miramax Films and ESPN. They own Pixar. Not everything in their network is Disney-branded and dumbed down for children. Besides, Marvel didn't have any problem dumbing down their products for children before now. Maybe with Disney in the picture, they'll do a better job on Saturday mornings.

  16. Re:Oscar (cat) on A Breathalyzer For Cancer · · Score: 1

    The House episode was based off reality. I got my information from Wikipedia (which cites a few medical journal writeups about the cat).

  17. Re:Oscar (cat) on A Breathalyzer For Cancer · · Score: 1

    The reality behind Oscar is, like the reality behind everything, a bit depressing and obvious.

    Typically, when someone is about to die, their ability to regulate body temperature breaks down and they are covered with warming blankets. Cat owners nod.

    Every patient the cat slept next to eventually died of the same drug-resistant bacterial infection. Assuming the cat could sense this infection in some way, likely by smell, what was the motive for identifying and preferring the smell? Probably the fact that patients with this sort of infection were much less likely to move, bother, or try to pet the cat.

    So we've got a cat sleeping on patients beds, attracted by heating blankets and a peculiar smell that means he won't be bothered. Not as mystical and fun as the story as reported by the media.

  18. One Research Lab is Still Hiring... on Where Have You Gone, Bell Labs? · · Score: 5, Funny

    They're looking for talented engineers and scientists with LOTS of imagination to take important projects from concept to reality!

    Check out their website and apply if you want to turn this trend around!

  19. Re:Worst. Analogy. Ever. on A New Look At Brain Control · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's not a big pile of neurons and axons! It's a series of yo-yos!

  20. Typing with two fingers on A New Look At Brain Control · · Score: 5, Funny

    It makes me sad to think that some day, I'll be stumbling around with my brain machine interface, creating thought streams one at a time and accidentally thinking of something else halfway through, losing my work, and asking the kids for help.

    And they'll look me in the eye and feign sympathy as they blast high-frequency shorthand thoughts back and forth to one another, mocking my generation for being so dumb that its members can't even work a brain port properly.

  21. Logic on Snow Leopard Drops Palm OS Sync · · Score: 2, Funny

    1.) Apple updates OS, modernizing and streamlining the codebase.
    2.) Some legacy app that hasn't been maintained in 4-5 years breaks.
    3.) Apple must have deliberately broken the software in an anti-competitive move.

    I'm an ace at logic.

  22. How casually evil on Bioreactors Engineer Tissue To Mend Heart Damage · · Score: 2, Funny

    "First, a biodegradable 'scaffold' is seeded with immature cells taken from the hearts of newborn rats."

    Next, moisten the scaffolding with the tears of orphaned fur seal cubs. Add the growth media consisting of ground up puppy bones and in 3 or 4 weeks, you will see the first growth in your heart patch.

    Unfortunately, this technique seems inadequate to patch my empty heart. No matter how many times I try.

  23. Re:3..2..1.. on NASA Explores the Moon's Water/Oxygen Deposits · · Score: 3, Funny

    We're spending so much money, millions of dollars to blow up the moon when there's so much right here on earth to blow up. Mount Everest, the north pole, et cetera. We're earthlings, let's blow up earth things.

    WE'RE EARTHLINGS, LET'S BLOW UP EARTH THINGS!

    WE'RE EARTHLINGS, LET'S BLOW UP EARTH THINGS!

  24. Re:3..2..1.. on NASA Explores the Moon's Water/Oxygen Deposits · · Score: 2, Funny

    We have the technology. The time is now. Science can wait no longer. Children are our future. American can, should, must, and will blow up the moon.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Csj7vMKy4EI

  25. Re:Neat on Prototype Motherboard Clusters Self-Coordinating Modules · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I have mod points and I was going to re-mod this post as something other than Troll, but none of the options fit any better.

    There should be mods like "+0 Weird" or "+0 Rambling coherently".