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User: Michael_Burton

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  1. The New Monster? on German Scientists Create Bose-Einstein Condensate Using Photons · · Score: 2, Funny

    What I want to know is: Will this do as much to improve the sound of my Bose speakers as Monster cables do?

  2. No, Not Sergey and Larry on Raleigh Councilman Offers Child Naming Rights To Google · · Score: 1

    I think this guy's counting on "don't be evil." Anyway, Sergey and Larry aren't bad names. I think he might withdraw the offer if Google counters with a demand for "Google" and "Froogle."

  3. Re:Gentile Giant? on How Do You Land a Nuke-Powered Mini-Cooper On Mars? · · Score: 3, Informative

    Oh, drat. My witty and insightful comment has been rendered nonsensical by an edit of the post. It really did say "gentile giant," honest!

  4. Gentile Giant? on How Do You Land a Nuke-Powered Mini-Cooper On Mars? · · Score: 4, Funny

    Personally, I don't think the space lab's religion is any of our business.

  5. The Mad Fools! on Alligator Blood May Be Source of New Antibiotics · · Score: 2, Funny

    Those fools!

    It's true Dr. Connors' work has not yet been featured in a Spider-Man movie, but that's no excuse for scientists not being familiar with the literature regarding this kind of research.

  6. Re:What's next? on RoadRunner Intercepting Domain Typos · · Score: 1

    The parent was modded "funny," but since Road Runner started doing this here in Columbus, Ohio, about a month ago, it has periodically lost amazon.com, cnn.com, and other sites I've been surfing. No joke.

  7. Figure It Out Soon! on Astronomers Say Dying Sun Will Engulf Earth · · Score: 1

    I sure hope they figure this out soon.

    Should I spend a bunch of money to freeze my corpse for later revival, or would I just be throwing that money away?

  8. My God -- life! on Kurt Vonnegut Jr. Dies At 84 · · Score: 1

    From Cat's Cradle:

    I did not know what was going to come from Angela's clarinet. No one could have imagined what was going to come from there.

    I expected something pathological, but I did not expect the depth, the violence, and the almost intolerable beauty of the disease.

    Angela moistened and warmed the mouthpiece, but did not blow a single preliminary note. Her eyes glazed over, and her long, bony fingers twittered idly over the noiseless keys.

    I waited anxiously, and I remembered what Marvin Breed had told me -- that Angela's one escape from her bleak life with her father was to her room, where she would lock the door and play along with phonograph records.

    Newt now put a long-playing record on the large phonograph in the room off the terrace. He came back with the record's slipcase, which he handed to me.

    The record was called Cat House Piano. It was of unaccompanied piano by Meade Lux Lewis.

    Since Angela, in order to deepen her trance, let Lewis play his first number without joining him, I read some of what the jacket said about Lewis.

    "Born in Louisville, Ky., in 1905," I read, "Mr. Lewis didn't turn to music until he had passed his 16th birthday and then the instrument provided by his father was the violin. A year later young Lewis chanced to hear Jimmy Yancey play the piano. 'This,' as Lewis recalls, 'was the real thing.' Soon," I read, "Lewis was teaching himself to play the boogie-woogie piano, absorbing all that was possible from the older Yancey, who remained until his death a close friend and idol to Mr. Lewis. Since his father was a Pullman porter," I read, "the Lewis family lived near the railroad. The rhythm of the trains soon became a natural pattern to young Lewis and he composed a boogie-woogie solo, now a classic of its kind, which became known as the 'Honky Tonk Train Blues.'"

    I looked up from my reading. The first number on the record was done. The phonograph needle was now scratching its slow way across the void to the second. The second number, I learned from the jacket, was "Dragon Blues."

    Meade Lux Lewis played four bars alone -- and then Angela Hoenikker joined in.

    Her eyes were closed.

    I was flabbergasted.

    She was great.

    She improvised around the music of the Pullman porter's son; went from liquid lyricism to rasping lechery to the shrill skittishness of a frightened child, to a heroin nightmare.

    Her glissandi spoke of heaven and hell and all that lay between.

    Such music from such a woman could only be a case of schizophrenia or demonic possession.

    My hair stood on end, as though Angela were rolling on the floor, foaming at the mouth, and babbling fluent Babylonian.

    When the music was done, I shrieked at Julian Castle, who was transfixed, too, "My God -- life! Who can understand even one little minute of it?"

  9. Just Error Correction on Diebold Sues Massachusetts for "Wrongful Purchase" · · Score: 1

    Looks like the paranoiacs were right -- when Diebold feels the wrong candidate has been picked, it will stop at nothing to "correct" that vote.

    "Very clever, young man. But it's Republicans all the way down."

  10. He Changed the Tone on Former President Gerald Ford Dead at 93 · · Score: 1

    The first time I saw an actual U.S. president live and in person was in October or early November of 1970. That year, like this one, was a mid-term election year, and Richard Nixon was traveling the country promoting Republican candidates. He spoke to a campaign rally at the Statehouse in downtown Columbus, and I went down to see him.

    There was a big crowd -- lots of Nixon supporters, and a small number of Vietnam War protestors around the edges of the crowd. And every word out of Nixon's mouth seemed calculated to stir up anger and hatred in his listeners. The air was thick with it. At any second, I expected someone to start throwing punches, or worse.

    On November 1, 1976, I saw another president speak at a campaign rally at the Statehouse. It was the day before Election Day, and the president was Gerald Ford. Once again, there was a big crowd with lots of Ford supporters and a few protesters. But the atmosphere -- that was completely different.

    Ford did not preach hate. He said what he was for, and why, and asked for our support. But he didn't ask us to hate anyone who disagreed. I was wearing a campaign button for a Democratic candidate for Senate, and one of the Republicans in the crowd kidded me about it. I wasn't worried that he wanted to bash my skull in. It might be hard to understand just how remarkable that seemed unless you were at the Nixon rally six years earlier. Six years, and a different president, and everything had changed.

    So I will always think good thoughts about Gerald Ford. He showed that it really does matter what the president says, and how he says it. This would be a better nation today if his successors had followed his example.

  11. He Can Just Forget Politics on Why Torvalds is Sitting out the GPLv3 Process · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Though Torvalds prefers the GPLv2, he says if others prefer the GPLv3, they ought to support it because 'it's not like it kills and eats small children for breakfast, and must never be allowed.'"

    Linus, you're never going to have a successful career in politics with an attitude like that.

  12. Re:All I need to see.. on Was the 2004 Election Stolen? · · Score: 2, Insightful

    In June Rolling Stone ran an article by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Yep, there's two bastions of unbiased opinion.

    Oh, good. I was afraid there wouldn't be any ad hominem responses, without which we would have to judge on the basis of facts and reason. Who wants that?

  13. It's Not the Movies on Movies Losing Popularity at Box Office · · Score: 2, Interesting

    During my college days, way back in the 1970s, I used to go to one of the local movie theaters a couple times a week. One was what we called a "repertory theater." They showed a frequently-changing bill with classic old movies interspersed with more recent films. I saw a lot of great films, and became a real movie buff. I often dragged friends along with me to see movies I really loved.

    Eventually the theater changed hands. The last time I went there, the manager blocked my way to the ticket booth. I was carrying my book bag because I'd just got off work. He insisted that I was taking outside food into the theater -- something I had never done -- and refused to let me, or the friend I had with me, buy tickets. I never went back, and within a year or two, the theater was sold and converted into a restaurant. It's said that the sale included a restrictive covenant barring the new owner, or any future owner, from ever converting the building back into a theater.

    I still went to movies at other theaters, but early in the '80s some theaters started interspersing commercials among the coming attractions. That practice angered me so much that, whenever a theater showed a commercial, I would shout, "Boo! No commercials!" loudly enough to be heard and understood in the projection booth. Often this would get a small round of applause. I would then go out and get my money back, and go home without seeing the movie. This became frustrating after a while. At some point in the mid-80s, I gave up. For about ten years, I never went to a movie theater.

    About ten years ago, a new theater opened near here, with big screens, great sound systems, and stadium seating, and I tried again. I was very happy to see that they were not showing the commercials that had driven me out of the theaters years earlier, and I started going to movies again.

    A few years ago, the commercials came back. Nobody seemed to mind except me. The last time I tried to see a movie at that theater, they were playing an endless string of commercials, interrupted only when the movie started. (Actually, the commercials, continued playing for a few seconds after the actual program started.) I haven't been back to that theater, either. It's going to make one enormous restaurant, I must say.

  14. Edwardian Microsoft on Cray Co-Founder Joins Microsoft · · Score: 1

    Burton joins Microsoft as a technical fellow.

    What an oddly old-fashioned way to say he's a tech guy.

  15. Don't Buy It on Artist Suggesting Ways Around Copy Protection · · Score: 1

    Okay, you can override copy protection today. Sometimes it's easy. Sometimes it's a pain. In the U.S., there are laws forbidding you to do it. But it can be done.

    But every time you buy a protected CD, you're telling the recording companies that you don't mind. It's okay. They can interfere with your rights in the products you've paid for, and you don't object.

    Naturally, encouraged by your acquiescence, the labels will work to develop new copy protection methods that are harder to override. You'll either spend more and more time finding ways to crack that protection, or you'll find yourself living in a smaller and smaller box of things you're permitted to do with the products you've paid for.

    Well, to hell with that.

    The solution is to boycott protected CDs. It's tough to do when you love the music, I know. It's a shame to deprive artists, who aren't in a much better bargaining position than individual consumers, of reward for their work. But it's the only way to maintain our rights.

    Don't buy it. Period.

  16. Weapons Procurement to the Xtreeeeme! on Weapons of War Now Include Lightning Guns · · Score: 1

    The Washington Post is running a lengthy article today about Xtreme Alternative Defense Systems, an Indiana-based company

    You know, when the Pentagon starts buying weapons systems from a company called "Xtreme" anything, it's time to reboot reality.

  17. Half Measures on U.S. Moves to Kill Leap Seconds · · Score: 1

    I believe we should change the year to ten months of 30 days each. It would greatly simplify the math.

    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

  18. Free Shackles! Getcha Free Shackles Here! on Another Theory on Apple's Move To Intel · · Score: 2, Funny

    'Open standards' for closed computing?

    I've been a Mac user for almost twenty years. But I'm not inclined to sign over control of my own computer. If that means I don't get the newest and coolest toys, I suppose I'll just have to suffer.

    Long live Linux.

  19. Could Boost Desktop Linux on Desktop Linux on x86 - Adapt or Die · · Score: 5, Interesting

    As a long-time Macintosh user, Apple's move to Intel chips has actually sparked my interest in Linux.

    It's not yet entirely clear why Apple chose Intel. There is some reason to suspect Intel hardware will ease implementation of system-wide DRM capabilities. Time will tell.

    The microcomputer revolution of the 1970s and '80s was about individuals controlling machines that had once been the exclusive domain of governments and big corporations. Now DRM, product activation, live updates and other technologies are being used to take back that control. Well, I'm not going back.

    I don't doubt that the Linux desktop might seem crude in comparison to Mac OS X. But if Apple chose Intel to help put DRM everywhere, then I, for one, will be more than willing to go "rough it" with the free souls of the Linux world.

  20. They Still Sell Music Players on Apple Switching to Intel · · Score: 1

    Sales of existing Macs are going to crater. Promises of continuing support for PPC Macs are not worth the hot air they're comprised of.

    New Macs based on hardware that might be supported five years from now will not ship until about the time Microsoft Longhorn does.

    Today, Apple ceased to be a computer company. They still sell music players and have an online music store, however.

  21. The List's Bias on Time Picks Top 100 Films · · Score: 1

    I don't like lists like this because they tend to be biased towards old movies.

    Hmm, that list doesn't look like a bias in favor of old movies to me. It looks like a lack of bias in favor of recent movies. Since we all tend to have fairly short attention spans, I think that's healthy.

  22. Too Many Missing on Time Picks Top 100 Films · · Score: 2, Interesting

    It's a good list. If you care about film, you should probably try to see all the films on this list. Not many of them will waste your time.

    I would like to grab folks by the collar and sit them down to see "City Lights." It's black-and-white, and silent, and I'm certain there are a lot of people who will never sit still to see this, one of the greatest movies ever made. Those people don't know what they're missing.

    I think you have to see Godfather I and II as if they were a single film. I wasn't blown away by The Godfather until I saw Part II, and I'm not sure I would have understood Part II alone.

    I was surprised at how many films from my own list were not on this one. I recommend:

    • The Grapes of Wrath
    • Treasure of the Sierra Madre
    • The African Queen
    • Paths of Glory
    • 2001: A Space Odyssey
    • Saving Private Ryan
    • The General (Buster Keaton)
  23. Who's Financing This? on Building the World's Most Powerful Laser · · Score: 3, Funny

    Funding, and vital tritium pellets, will be provided by a grant from OsCorp?

  24. Reality -- What a Concept! on Movie Theater To Go On Tour · · Score: 2, Interesting

    They will be screening "12 famous films in their original shooting locations, chosen specifically to intensify the viewing experience,"

    Sounds like a great idea. "Close Encounters" made me want to visit Devil's Tower, and I've considered taking the "Vertigo" tour in the San Francisco area. As time goes by, we'll need to depend more on classic older movies for terms like "original shooting locations" to mean anything. Somehow I can't see them showing "Revenge of the Sith" in cyberspace.

  25. What to Name It? on Researchers Pinpoint Brain's Sarcasm Sensor · · Score: 4, Funny

    The brain area in question should be called the medulla obnoxiosa. In honor of me.